Chapter 4: Major Dick
"Hey, there's something that you have got to see out in front of Dinky the Dinosaur." I said, doing everything in my power not to shove my caravan shotgun down the throat of the woman I was talking to.
Even before I took on the job of being a hitman's accomplice from the nighttime sniper from Novac, I was feeling mighty suspicious of Jeannie May Crawford. I couldn't quite put my foot on it, but something about her made me think of Benny by the time I was headed out to the REPCONN test site. There were a whole lot of people that weren't right in the head that I met on my quest for vengeance so far and even more that I had already killed for getting in my way. Something about her though was less the 'haha' funny, and more the 'keep her away from sharp objects and firearms' kind of funny.
Maybe it was the way she talked about outsiders like myself like we weren't even human. Maybe it was the way she casually suggested I commit genocide for the sake of her shitty motel. Maybe it was the way she damn near pulled a gun on me when I called the town a dump.
Yeah… it was probably that last one.
Strange thing was that everyone who lived in Novac seemed to love her. Cliff, Andy, Manny, and even Craig all seemed to think that she was the only thing holding Novac together. Then again, maybe she was. Hard asses like her usually did manage to keep shit from falling apart. That certainly would've explained why no one ever talked back to her when she freaked out over the slightest chip in the paint on her shitty motel's walls. Everyone seemed to love the crotchety old lady... everyone but Carla based off of what everyone else was telling me.
Jeannie certainly seemed crazy enough to kill someone over something like that, but nowhere close to competent enough to kill someone and hide the body without anyone catching her in the process. Since I had some personal experience in that department on account of the cans that helped out Benny, her frailty didn't immediately rule her out of being my suspect. Everyone seemed to think she was on the up and up for the most part. Everyone, but the smartest man I've ever met that is.
The people that lived in Novac trusted her, but No-bark Noonan did not live in Novac. That man was proof that genius came in all shapes, sizes, and sanities. He made a lot of good points... once you piece together what he was trying to say. Those commie ghosts he was always talking about? Turns out his description of them matched those ghouls that Jeannie wanted me to kill to the very letter. Well, except for the whole moon graffiti thing.
I will admit that I took him as a raving lunatic at first, but after a long and hard talk with Jason Bright, fucking good intentioned prick that he was, things started making sense. It was because of that outlandish sounding story that I recalled what No-bark kept on telling me about people who kept things too perfect. Since perfect seemed to be Jeannie's ideal for her motel, that made me really suspicious as to why the only person who hated her shitty motel suddenly went 'missing'.
Following the lead that No-bark told me about, the 'Molerat men' that checked into the main lobby a few weeks before I rolled into town, led me to where I was now after spacing out for a couple of hours until nightfall. Boone said he wanted the bastard that got his wife killed taken out front of the eyesore that was this town's sniper nest, and it took every ounce of my self restraint and a whole lot of vodka to keep myself calm enough to not go into her house guns blazing.
I don't know how I did it, but I somehow managed to not cause a massacre like I did in every other town I came across since Goodsprings. Not killing everyone who might have had something to do with Cala's disappearance or the shitstains that were happy about it were the easy part, managing to sweet talk my way into getting her to where I needed her was going to be the hardest part of this whole plan. My negotiation skills ranged between calibers and draw distance until now, so I was hoping for the best when I tried to lure her to the killzone without her catching on to my plan.
"Let me guess, one of those ghouls left behind some trash?" Jeannie asked me, making no attempt to hold back her contempt of those people that were about as unlucky as I was.
"Yeah, sure, let's go with that. I'll show you what all they broke and-"
"THEY BROKE SOMETHING? What are you waiting for, you idiot? Take me over there so I can get it fixed right away!" She shouted at me like I was some sort of slave of hers.
I about dropped the power fist I still had strapped to my arm after hearing that. That took a whole lot less sweet talking than I thought it would have, but I sure as hell wasn't complaining. Apparently the old girl cared about her shitty motel more than I thought because rather than being the one to lead her out the door, she about carried me all the way to the front of the T-Rex with how hard she was pushing me. I didn't even try to fight back her sudden show of freakish strength because I was still trying to figure out how the hell someone that ran a town like her could be so gullible. I don't know how the hell she managed to nudge a massive guy like me as if I was nothing, but her muscles worked in my favor, I didn't complain about it a single bit. Can't look a gift Bighorner in the mouth, eh?
"Well, what are you doing just standing around for? Where's the mess those rotting dirtbags left behind?" She barked at me while I was still trying to figure out how the hell this had gone so smoothly.
I couldn't find the words to say anything since I was still amazed nothing had gone wrong yet, so I just dumbly pointed over towards the bridge that led over to the closest settlement and let her run off to the killzone without me. I would have watched for as long as it took for her to realize I was fucking around with her if it hadn't been for Boone, the night sniper of Novac, dumping what I could only hope was water made dirty from radiation and not his 'jarate' practice on top of my head in order to grab my attention.
We shared a blank look for a moment before I realized what he was waiting for and pulled out the hat he gave me and gave him a thumbs up alongside it. That seemed to be enough for him, because he just gave me a nod before lining up a shot and spraying that bitch's brains all over concrete underneath her.
Let me tell you, that was one of the few times I didn't have any regrets for killing someone that didn't want me dead for one reason or another.
Overall, that was perhaps one of the most satisfying kills that I had ever caused despite not needing to do more than a few menial tasks that didn't involve shooting. It didn't leave me with that lovely burn from firing almost a hundred hunting rifle shots in a single day, but the warm tingly feeling it gave me felt nice. If that wasn't the minor radiation poisoning that was warming me up, then I could have gotten used to doing favors like these for that feeling alone.
With Jeannie dead and her body taking care of itself after falling off of the bridge the moment her brains decorated her dress, I made the slow climb up to Boone to show him everything that had led to this moment. Cliff Briscoe barely even acknowledged me as I walked past him and I could hardly blame him. The guy had drank his whole supply of whiskey after I bought all of his rocket souvenirs earlier today and still had that glassy eyed look after he tried and failed to drink me under the counter. I just gave him a little wave and hoped his heart hadn't stopped as I continued my way up to the sniper's nest for my little meeting with Boone.
I opened the door to see the guy looking just as empty as ever as he stared back at me. It was still kinda creepy with the way he would always look towards you but never at you unless you were talking to him, like you were just part of the scenery until you tried killing him or talking to him. If I hadn't heard about how the guy's wife up and vanished, I would have thought he was just an asshole. After hearing a bit of why he had that mile long stare, I pitied the youngin' more than I did myself. That look he had was more fitting on an old shit like me, not a stallion like himself.
"So, how did you know it was her?" He asked me, swift and to the point as he usually was. The guy never let me get in a word edgewise if he could help it. Yet another one of the creepy things he always did for some reason.
"Eh, it was just a hunch that I had. I swear, the caps she swindled me out of had nothing to do with it." I said to him in an attempt to lighten up the mood.
If looks could kill, his would've taken my head off the moment I mentioned what that bitch did to me for solving Novac's ghoul problem. I didn't wait for him to reach for his sniper and blow my brains out because I knew that was exactly what I would have done next if I got pissed off at a stupid joke like that. After having a narrow recovery from Bullet-in-head-ittis back in Goodsprings I wasn't eager to catch another case of that instead of spreading it around to some people that deserved it. I made sure to pull out my evidence at the same moment I stopped him from lining up a shot on me to keep myself alive a little longer.
" Take it easy, I'm just messing with you Boone. Jeannie kept a bill of sale from when she sold your wife to the Legion… but you already knew what happened to her, didn't you?" I told him, before I stated the obvious.
To my surprise, the stone faced man actually looked impressed for a slight second before returning to his usual blank face. I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult, so I just filed that away for later until he said something else about me.
"What gave it away?" He asked me, probably curious of how I came to that conclusion if I had to take a guess. Couldn't really tell what he was thinking since he was about as expressive as a brick wall, so I just had to make a guess at what he was thinking and hope for the best.
"Well, I kind of had a feeling that you knew something with the way you kept on saying that someone was guilty for her disappearance. With all the Legionnaires crawling around nearby, it was kind of obvious who took you wife. I nearly got my shit pushed in by three separate groups of Legion fucks trying to kill me before I came to Novac, remember? After seeing their handiwork in Nipton firsthand, there wasn't any doubt who I thought was willing to buy another man's wife just because they could. By the way, thanks for taking care of that last group of assassins that were hounding me. I ran out of bullets on the other two and didn't have anything better than a machete to fight a super sledge with, so you really saved my ass there." I explained while also taking the time to thank him for what he did right before our first meeting.
"Don't mention it. I never did it to save you, I just wanted to kill as many Legion dogs as I could." He said, as blunt as ever.
"Oh, and here I thought we had something special between us." I said, doing my best to show off my puppy dog eyes from behind my motorcycle helmet. If he managed to see my look from underneath the tinted visor I had up, then he just didn't care about my attempt to butter him up a bit.
"If you need any help tracking down those Legionnaires…"
"Don't bother. I've already taken care of them." He said, cutting me off before I could finish my offer to join him sometime down the line after I dealt with Benny.
I was going to tell him that I wasn't going to be able to offer him any help until I settled my other score, but after he thought I was going to go out of my way to help him I just didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. Certainly wouldn't have made things go any more smoothly between us in any case.
"You already knew that much too? Fuck, so much for adding a few more names to my shit list once the guy at the top of it is rubbed out." I grumbled now that I knew there wasn't going to be any more killing going on today.
"Well, regardless, you saved my ass so it was only right that I returned the favor. Here's the bill of sale in case you are interested." I said as I offered it to him.
Maybe not the best thing I could have done then, but hell, I already checked out the guy's room after making sure he didn't kill her and send me on a wild Radroach chase. You never could be too careful with people, and since my investigation didn't turn up anything remotely feminine I at least wanted the guy to have one thing to remember his wife by. Might not have been the most tasteful memento, but something was better than nothing.
"Keep it. It's not worth anything to me. It's just a reminder of everything I've lost." He said. We stayed together up there in that warm, dark, cramped area with just the two of us for an uncomfortably long time before either of us found something to say to the other. Manny would have thrown a fit if he saw us right now, I reckon.
"How much did Jeannie get paid for selling Carla?" Boone asked me, breaking that silence a whole lot better than Manny would have if my feeling about him was right.
"250 pieces of silver for Carla, 125 for your kid." I told him.
"Six." He said, looking me straight in the eye for the first time as he did so, "We didn't have any kids."
I almost told him that he must have been wrong until the realization hit me. That fucking bitch sold a pregnant woman as a slave just because she complained about how much of a dump Novac was. I'm glad I didn't know that until now, else I would've killed Jeannie long before letting Boone take a shot at her.
"Oh. Shit." Was the only thing I could manage to say to that little revelation.
"So… what happens next? I don't think the people around here will take kindly to you killing one of their own. Of course, that's if they ever find out you were the guy who pulled the trigger." I said in a desperate attempt to steer the conversation away from somewhere other than another man's dead family.
"People die all the time. Jeanie wouldn't be the first person to disappear from Novac all of a sudden." Boone said with a look so sad, I almost thought he was going to start gushing all of his feelings right here and now. Luckily for both of us, he straightened himself up just as the first tear rolled down his face.
"I don't know. I might head up to Vegas, maybe check in with my old team at Camp McCarran before I decide what to do with myself." He said, turning his attention away from me and back to the quiet desert outside the dinosaur's mouth.
The guy clearly didn't want to say anything, but I could tell something was eating at him. Just because I was missing a huge chunk of my brain didn't mean I was incapable of feeling any empathy. Since I was probably going to be headed out that way soon and more than likely cross paths with him once or twice, I gave him a few parting words just in case.
"Well, if I ever see you around there I'll be sure to give you a heads up if I plan on storming a Legion camp and need some backup. I'd all be down for acting as bait so you can pick off a few more assassins in case they haven't already learned their lesson yet. I sure as hell I know I could use all the help I can get these days, and I'm sure you do too." I said as I put a hand on his shoulder more out of instinct than an attempt to comfort the guy.
I didn't know what was going through his mind, but I sure as knew what he was feeling. A friendly pat on the back might not have been the most anyone could do for him, but it sure as hell I could do right now to make him feel a little less alone.
"I'll be fine on my own." He said. Even so, he made no attempt to brush off my hand or the support I was offering him. The way his voice was quivering as he told me just how fine he was only proved just how badly messed up in the head he was right now.
I turned away from him for a moment as I headed to the door and stepped down the first stair away from Boone's den of loneliness before I thought of some parting words to offer him.
"Snipers work better in pairs, kiddo. I might not be the best gun out there, but I'd be more willing to go to hell and back after all the shit we've been through." I said.
Those were the parting words I left with him before I made my way down the stairs. Not the most inspiring or impressive ones I had given anyone, but they damn well were the most genuine. Boone didn't say anything, instead he just kept on looking out for any threats on the horizon so I took that as my cue to leave him be.
I didn't make a sound as I passed by Cliff once more and made my way to the exit of Novac. I was about to take my first step away from this week-long pitstop, but my conscience got the better of me once more. That vault that Jeannie kept her proof of sale in also had most of the payment she got for stabbing Carla and Craig in the back, and it had been making a nice jingle, jangle, jingle in my pocket for a while now. I had a choice to make going forward, one that was going to tear away at me for a long time no matter which decision I made.
If I just skipped town with the money in my pocket, then that was that. I'd be a thousand caps richer and no one would ever know. The only real thing I would have to deal with is the knowledge that I had taken the money that had apparently been worth Carla's life for myself. In all honesty, that was probably one of the least despicable things I have done recently. Lesser men wouldn't have been bothered by something like that and for once… I couldn't bring myself to that same low I had been familiar with until now.
The only other alternative that would be worth mentioning was leaving the silver coins' worth in caps in Craig's room since there was no way in hell I saw him accepting that blood money if I tried handing it over to him. The only problem with that is I would be out of caps until I was able to do so more odd jobs or loot the next assassination squad to come after me. Getting shot in the face by the guy who hated all things Legion was also an issue, but I figured I had earned enough brownie points to at least get the benefit of the doubt as to where that money came from. With all the corpses he had seen me loot before we even spoke, I'd have been more surprised if he figured out where the money really came from if I didn't tell him.
With all my options laid out on the table I had a choice to make: Do I take the option that lets me live with myself for doing the wrong thing or the one that lets me do the right thing that no one will ever know about and die for my trouble? Decision, decisions...
Well, when I phrase the question like that then… WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE.
None of this shit happened! Our plan never worked, I got ran out of Novac before the day was over, I never gave that FUCK his caps back then AND THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM EVER GIVING HIM BACK THE CAPS FOR HIS WIFE NOW! NOT AFTER WHAT THAT BACKSTABBING FUCKWAD DID TO ME!
I'm fucking dreaming… or hallucinating or whatever the hell is going on right now.
Dammit, I must have gotten knocked out again. First it was Zion and the Happy Trails Caravan, now it's Novac and Boone all over again but better. Why do I have to relive my greatest regrets whenever I pass out? Why can't I ever dream about hookers and chems at the Gomorrah or something cool like that?
...probably because I never did enjoy the finer things in life the few times I had some business there. Fucking Cachino and the Omertas. Should just shot them up and the rest of The Strip first chance I had and been done with them for all the trouble they've given me.
Ah well, it doesn't matter. I'm just reminiscing about the good ol' days in my dreams and nothing I do matters. The only thing I could do was hurry things up and give myself a little wakeup scare, and I know just the thing to get the job done…
But first, I have a score to settle.
I opened my backpack and started thinking of that lovely anti-material rifle I used to clear out Quarry Junction. Sure enough, that lovely .50 caliber sword of vengeance popped right out of a bag half of its size since this was my dream and I could do whatever the fuck I wanted to… except be happy. Apparently that was too much for my feeble mind.
I marched right back up to that damn dinosaur and knocked the door down on my way back to Boone. Cliff was silently cowered behind the counter of his shop, it was always a good thing to do when a guy carrying a weapon that can take out Deathclaws and tank suits in a single bullet knocks down your door, and I paid him no mind. Although he and the rest of Novac were on my shit list, I didn't quite feel like murdering them.
...yet. I was going to kill them someday, just not yet. Maybe once I get back to the Mojave for real and hear about some of the stuff they got up to with the local ghouls and other mutants, but not right now. Not even in one of my more normal fantasies.
Instead of going on a murder spree I climbed up the ladder to the sniper's nest I knew Boone was still in, kicked down the door standing between us, and activated VATS before anything could take away the only good thing that was probably going to be happening for me today. Time slowed down to a crawl for me and I saw Boone wearing his NCR assassin suit now instead of that trashy uniform I first saw him wearing. He still didn't have his hat though, I still had that and there was no way in hell I was giving him that unless he took it from my cold, dead hands. After turning it brown thanks to the lack of toilet paper in the Big Empty, I doubt he would ever want it back either.
Still, knowing that hard ass maybe he would wear it anyway. Who knows? Who cares? I sure as hell don't. I mean, it would give me the last laugh if he figures out what I was using it for after he put it on...
Back to the matter at hand, Boone was ready to shoot me but I had the upper hand on him thanks to my PipBoy. Unlike our last fight, I didn't aim for his weapon and shot straight for his heart since for a bit of poetic justice. If the son of a bitch didn't want to use it anymore when deciding who to kill, then I was going to show him what happened when he went without it. Yes, I know it's still a dream that I'm murdering him in but I really don't care. It's my dream dammit and I'll do whatever the hell I want to in it.
My shot punched a fist sized hole through his chest and sent the fucking backstabber out of the dinosaur's mouth. I was left standing there for a good minute because even in my dreams, VATS was out for my blood, and nothing could go right for me. I was left paralyzed for what felt like an eternity, giving me just a taste of what was to come if I ever went back to that hell hole of a wasteland or decided to risk using VATS once I woke up.
Feeling returned in my body not long after the moment passed and staring at Boone's dead body was getting boring since it wasn't the real thing. Killing him felt less like giving him some well deserved payback and more like I made my bed or washed out my shitting hat for the day, but then again that's how most everything felt these past few months.
It wasn't worth moping over though. This was just a dream and I had more important things to do than kill people in wild or normal fantasies like this. Instead of complaining about not being able to enjoy unconsciousness any longer I simply took off my boots, set the butt of my rifle on the ground, and placed my chin right on top of the barrel. There was only one sure fire way to wake up from one of these nightmares, so I made my peace on the off chance I was horribly wrong, pulled the trigger with my toe, and hoped for the best.
Unsurprisingly, imagining blowing my brains out like that brought me back into the real world. At least... I think the place I woke up in is the real world. Not sure if that's a bad or good thing in all honesty considering all the shit I've gone through, but I wasn't going to try and find out the hard way this time in case I was wrong any time soon. Either way, that scare was enough to bring out of one dream and in another… or maybe not.
The verdict was still out if this was still out on that whole mess though. I mean, there is no way I fired a weapon capable of fucking up the moon before the Think Tank could have done worse with it and I doubt all that magical bullshit I saw earlier was because of a couple dozen psykers. Then again, with all of that crazy shit that's happened to me recently I don't think any of that would have been too out of place. Either Europe was somehow more fucked up than half of everything I found around the Big Empty or the chems were really doing a number on me. Then again, who's to say that anything that those crazy docs got up to was real either? The only reason I didn't doubt much of that was because the pain was oh so very real, but… oh fuck this shit. I need some more alcohol, Med-X, 'Coffee' or anything else I can get my hands on if I'm thinking like this again.
Ain't no use doubting was and wasn't real right now. All that would do is just give me a headache and a whole lot of questions that I didn't want to have answered.
The only thing that I wasn't doubting right now was that the metal shackles on my wrists and ankles weren't something I put on willingly. I might have a mind like Dr. 8's, but I sure as hell ain't into BDSM or any of that rough stuff after what happened in Freeside. There is no way I willingly let myself get strapped down to a table where I couldn't turn my head and miss out on surveying my surroundings either. No amount of chems or bad decisions would ever get me anywhere close to a lobotomy again, regardless of whether it was done professionally or by another couple of bullets.
The room I was in looked… well, roomy. I don't know what else to say since I really couldn't see shit from where I was laying down. It wasn't broken like most of the ones in the Mojave since it looked relatively clean and vaguely European. Even if I could see something worth mentioning, I had a sinking feeling that I was screwed either way. It was that, or the rads I absorbed after dropping that mini nuke went straight to my gut.
I was really hoping it was the first option since that meant I wasn't worse off than I already was and freeing myself from wherever the hell I was trapped would be less of a bitch to fix. I tried looking around a bit at what little I could see, but there still wasn't much going on. The only things I could see were the bright lights and the clean white ceiling that looked like they belonged to a hospital… or dissection room…
Oh that's fan-FUCKING-TASTIC! Again with this shit...
I abandoned any line of thought that wasn't headed out of here and away from the hell hole I was stuck in right away as I realized I was strung up just like a few unlucky Lobotomites in the Y-17 and X-8 research labs. I remember their screams as clear as the daylight in Zion once those saw blades started tearing into them, to say nothing of what they looked like after their screams stopped. There was no way in hell that I was going to be torn apart or have more of my squishy bits replaced again, especially by some giant saws or psychotic Mr. Handys!
I wanted to escape this place and fast, but there's a few things I would need to make this happen. First things first, I had to get the shackles that were holding me down off of me. A quick little test of my restraints led to me nearly taking them clean off in one go. If I didn't want to get out of here as fast as I could, I would have taken these people's lax security as an insult. Thankfully, if this was still Mantle that I was dealing with, then the other security measures in place are probably going to be just as shit as my shackles and the comms I hacked into earlier.
Next was killing everyone in the building before I made my great escape. You can't be caught committing a crime if there is no one left alive to say otherwise. Goodsprings and Hidden Valley were proof enough of that. Hopefully this place had some explosives or gasoline nearby so that way I don't leave behind any loose ends like I did back then.
Lastly was figuring out where the fuck I am, the place furthest away from where the fuck I am, and the quickest way between here and there. There is only one man that I will ever allow to patch me up that isn't me, not including the autodoc in The Sink since he technically ain't a real person, and since he's dead I don't want to be anywhere near any quack doctors like the ones that set this place up. Give me the back alley chem dealer over the best one Follower of the Apocalypse any day of the week, I'd rather buy the meds from them and patch myself up than risk waking up with another piece of my brain missing again.
So yeah, there's the plan. Break free, kill everything that moves, and get the fuck outta town before anyone realizes I'm gone. It was better than every other one I've had since touching that damn satellite in the Mojave Drive-In and I was ready to get shit done and go home.
Well maybe not home since I don't have one no more, but… eh, fuck it. My point still stands.
I would have already been halfway done with step two right now if I knew exactly how many people were in the room with me, but sadly that was just not meant to be. As much as I want to start cracking skulls right now, I didn't want to get filled with lead or those freaky magic bullets that shot ice and fire again. Freeing myself just to get killed was not something I was looking forward to for once.
Luckily, I've had some experience with getting captured by smug assholes and overconfident pricks that didn't know who they were messing with. They always loved to brag to their victims before torturing them just to show them how weak and powerless they were. Just needed to bide my time for the guy who thinks he's in charge to start monologuing until his boss shuts him up and play it by ear until everyone but the 'SPECIAL' child fucks off. Then the only thing between me and freedom was a head that needed to be popped off like a bottle cap and once that lucky fella was dealt with, I was home free.
Say what you will about your average slaver, Legionnaire, raider, or anyone else that is just killing for the sake of being a complete ass. They'll give you plenty of time to sneak a couple of bullets in your guns or slip a knuckle dusters on your fists while they are lording their egos over you from stabbing range. From there it was just a simple matter of using the element of surprise so that way they're the one that dies instead of you. I wouldn't ever think about pulling that stunt on some goody two shoes though, those fucks shoot first and ask questions later. They are a people who are right after my own heart in more ways than one. I'd take a hundred wannabe murderers over a single do-gooder that is good and willing to end things before they can start getting fun for anyone.
"Why am I reading the subject's vitals now when their brain activity and heartbeat have flatlined? What on Remnant is going on with my equipment? This is why I asked for the improved budget Ironwood!" Came some guy's voice off to my side.
That was more than likely my man of the hour if I were to take a guess and he sounds like your average scumbag to boot. Right on cue too. Ain't I just lucky today?
The owner of that voice had both a thick accent and what sounded like a terminal case of 'head-up-their-own-ass' disease. In other words, he was one of few types of people that I loved punching out the moment they opened their mouths. I couldn't tell anything more about this guy without getting a good look at him though, but it didn't take a genius to figure out they were pissed off by just listening to their complaints and how it seemed they were voicing them to their own boss in person. Quite the ballsy move, if not the most intelligent or healthy idea for him. I seemed to be a magnet for people like that so it really didn't mean much in the long run, but it was still worth noting for later. Whoever this guy was would have given Thomas Hildern at Camp McCarran a run for his money if nobody shot him before then and that guy was a total prick.
"Looks like we will both be getting what we wished for today. I'll get my increased budget so I don't come close to cremating another live test subject and you'll be able to do whatever you want with your new pet, Major. Everybody wins!" The same guy said as it changed from annoyed to disturbingly enthusiastic.
I couldn't see who was talking about me on account of everything hurting when I tried to look at him, but with the way the guy was talking about me like I was a toy he was excited to play with I felt a cold sweat start dripping down my face all the same. I wasn't afraid… I was just reconsidering a few dozen life choices that led me to this very moment. There wasn't anything wrong with that and I dare anyone to say that to my face once I get my hands on Dinner Bell again.
This guy was more than likely the guy who thought he was in charge of things. Whoever was already treating me like their pet clearly had plans for me and probably had the means of making them happen on his own. In my line of work, that usually meant whatever he or his boss was planning for me was definitely going to be painful. Just because I knew all about sadistic fucks like this guy didn't mean I liked dealing with them. This guy sounded no different than the other ones, although he didn't sound like he wanted to be the guy in charge. Not quite what I was used to dealing with, but I could still take down anyone from the royal dick sucker to the guy in charge all the same.
Before I could start wondering who the hell the guy that sounded far too much like Dr. Borous was, the table I had been laying on tilted itself so I was no longer laying down but rather help up with my back against it. Now that I wasn't staring straight into a whole bunch of lights, I could finally see something other than a messed up blur. After taking a quick look around me, I really wished I was still staring at the ceiling because it looked like I had woke up in the middle of a Super Mutant buffet.
Judging by the other tables that were covered in blood before me, some decorated with corpses and others that had a few spare body parts from people and animals on them, I could tell that I definitely wasn't in a hospital. With that possibility ruled out that meant I was either in a torture chamber or a sex dungeon. Since I still couldn't see if they guy who had spoken to me earlier was getting off from all the shit around me I was kinda leaning towards the torture chamber and hoped to god that this was not their kink.
I swear, if I had been captured by an evil version of Dr. 8 then I was going to blow my brains out the first chance I got. I am not going to find out what the hell this guy could do with a couple rolls of duct tape and a can of Cram if I could help it.
As I casually contemplated suicide like most normal people would in my situation, I saw three people walk into my sight who all gained my undivided attention. I made sure to scan each of their faces and everything else about them for later once I finally bust myself free and get the hell away from here. If these people were with Mantle, then that meant I had all the more reason to add a few faces to my hit list. If not, then 'd be rubbing them out real quick.
There were three of them that approached me, one of 'em that looked quite comfortable surrounded by a mess of blood and body parts and another two that definitely didn't. The first guy I noticed was old and wore a bloody set of scrubs. He was probably the mad scientist or BDSM fetishist I was looking for, unless the woman standing behind him that was wearing the same uniform as the other psykers I slaughtered was the doctor around here. With the way she was smiling and my urge to punch her mysteriously rising, I honestly couldn't tell which was which. Thankfully, the last guy looked way too out of place compared to the other two. All I needed to do was take one look at him to recognize the head honcho I was looking for.
Although the guy looked like he had been stuck in the Sierra Madre for a couple of days with that same haggard look and five o'clock shadow I had been sporting before I finally cracked into that damn casino, he still managed to look fairly intimidating. Not enough to scare me, but certainly enough to earn him a pass on the same treatment I gave those assassins from earlier and give him a clean kill once I was free. That look of absolute confidence and authority wasn't your suicidal overconfident attempt to look badass either, it was au naturel.
That's spanish for 'normal look', or so I was told. Raul taught me that phrase and a whole lot of other words I never got to thank him for… god I miss that asshole. Really would have been nice to have him busting my ass out of here. Bah, I'm getting off track.
The natural badass' uniform was almost the same as the one the woman behind him was wearing, but he had a whole lot more medals on his than she did. Despite not knowing what the hell they were for, I was smart enough to know that to be able to carry that many shinies without being shot you had to be pretty damn tough and know your way around… unless you were General Oliver and couldn't find your own ass with an entire army worth of advisors helping you out. This guy did not anything like that incompetent glory hound. The guy right in front of me had seen a thing or two unlike the fresh meat behind him and knew how to run a tight ship, although I could tell that just from the way he carried himself.
The guy stood like he had a stick up his ass as he did his best to not kill me with that glare he was shooting my way. His face didn't give away much of what he was thinking other than the unspoken death threat, but even as my eyes adjusted to the change in lighting I could tell that he was wound up tighter than your average girl wandering around Legion territory on her own. His nerves did nothing to take away from his general aura of badassery though, kinda like an injured Cazador. Distressed, but still ready and able to fuck your shit up any day of the week.
I'm pretty sure that if anyone were to have poked the guy, he would have shot them on instinct alone. Either that or he would have let out a cute little gasp after that stick up his ass finally went where no man dared to travel before. Overall, I'd say the guy looked like the spitting image of the NCR's recruitment posters showing off their rangers and promises that anyone new recruits could be like that instead of acting as cannon fodder for the higher ups.
"Ahhhhhh, you must be... The Major?" I said, slurring like I was as drunk as your average Gomorrah client.
Yep… it's official. Either Mantle had finally caught me or I really did find myself in a sex dungeon and I was was moments away from seeing some random pimp's 'super sledge'. Or maybe even both if luck really wanted to screw me over today...
"Indeed. It seems you aren't just some drugged up junkie after all. That's good. It would have been a shame to learn that the thorn in my side was nothing more than a common thug." He answered me, carefully moving his gaze towards the doctor beside him so I didn't leave his sight entirely. Smart man. Paranoid, but smart.
"I thought you said he was dead?" He asked the doctor who had moved next to him.
Although it sounded more like a threat than a question by the way he drew out his question. A wave of relief rolled over me once I heard the good news, although the dead part did nag at me a little bit. Not sure why he was and I really felt like I should have thrown in my own two cents in about that, but I was cut off before I could even speak a single word.
"Perhaps it was his semblance or one of those augments that his benefactor made that kept me from detecting any brain activity during our earlier scans of his body. Either way, with those scans currently halfway to Solitas right now there is nothing I can do about. Someone with far better equipment than what you have allowed me to work with should be able to answer your question in the coming weeks." The doctor said as he brushed aside The Major's question with suicidal bravery.
Huh… no brain activity. That probably has to be because I left that useless bastard back in The Sink since he was being such a dick earlier.
Wait, weren't the tesla coils they put in my head not supposed to work outside of the Big Empty?
…
Well, since I ain't dead or a paralyzed mess then I am probably fine. If that was anything I needed to really worry about then I never would have woken up in that dumpster. Guess those quacks really were clueless about how Lobotomites worked and which one of us were superior in the end.
"Hmph. We can discuss that anomaly later. We have more important things to deal with right now." The Major said as he took a few steps towards me and studied me once more.
Damn, he got a bit closer to me but was still out of strangling distance. What a shame. The guy might be about as smart as me… when it comes to fighting. Verdict was still out on general intelligence, but I somehow doubt I would win that contest even if I wasn't burned out from half a dozen chems.
"You have been quite the difficult adversary to track down over the past several days, Grimm Wanderer. Before I kill you, there is something I have to know. What is your name?" He asked me as he reached for the impressive looking hand cannon on his hip and sharpened his voice into a well honed edge. "Who do I have to thank for killing so many of my soldiers and making me and the entire kingdom of Mantle look incompetent to the rest of the world?"
Mantle is a kingdom. Well shit, I don't think I've killed one of those before. Doesn't mean I can't try though.
"Oh? How many of your people did I kill again? Ten? Twenty?" I asked him as I tried to restrain myself from getting this guy thinking too much about what he was telling me.
"Don't play stupid with us, animal! Hundreds of our countrymen have died at your hands!" That sour looking woman shouted at me… oh, she's got her name on her uniform.
So she's the Frost that sent those assassins after me. That explains why I want to deck her so bad...ly…
Wait, why does she look familiar even though I don't remember seeing her? Was she the one that captured me? I think I'd remember something like that...
"Oh… oh yeah…" I whispered.
The Major didn't hear me. He only raised a hand to silence his side piece for a moment as he got ready to chew my ass out after his little warm up. Guess I wouldn't be hearing any more from Frost until the guy in charge finished with whatever he wanted to tell me.
"Millions in property damage." He said, pausing for a bit for that dramatic buildup these military types always seemed to have a hard on for in their speeches.
Well that works out real nicely if he thought the same way that he talked. If he really was one of those people, then everything had to go absolutely perfectly for him or else he'd have a complete mental breakdown that spirals in him going full control freak or someone putting them down like the rabid dog. Fucking hell, now that I look at the guy he sounds a bit like General Oliver. At least, from what little I heard of him from the occasional broadcast to the NCR troops he made. To his credit, The Major was taking his time building my ego instead of sucking his own off. Might not be the first thing I want to have happen to me right now, but I could at least still try to enjoy his performance until the very end.
"Oh…"
"Months, maybe years of progress in establishing a foothold in this city, ruined!" He barked, the anger now clearly showing on his face for the first time.
"Uh huh, uh huh, go on. Tell me more..."
"Every soldier and officer in my command has either been struggling to track you down or hiding in the hopes that you didn't find them!" He yelled, really hamming it up now.
"Oh yeah… that's the stuff..."
"AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF-" He shouted as he got ready to finish me off.
"WORK THE SHAFT BABY! TELL ME HOW MUCH OF A BAD BOY I AM, DADDY!" I moaned way louder than I intended to. Well, I say moan but it was more of a shout with the way my voice came out.
Rather than hitting me with the climax of his speech The Major, Frost, and doctor all looked at me in a mix of disgust, surprise, and unrestrained hatred. The look on Frost's face was absolutely priceless with the way it was scrunched up and The Major looked like I just told him that I pissed in his coffee this morning. The doctor was the only one who didn't look too disturbed by what I had shouted… in fact, that creep actually looked intrigued. Maybe I wrote this place off a sex dungeon a little too soon…
"Oops. Did I say that out loud?" I said as I tried to hold back my laughter.
"Are you getting off from this?" Frost asked me once she regained enough of her composure to speak to me.
"No, not at all. I just can't help but to talk dirty whenever someone is sucking my dick. It's the only thing I can do for the people giving me some good lip service whenever I can't manage to give them a reach around in return. Maybe if you were to let me go I might just stop at shoving my boot up your asses and out your throats and call it a day. It's the least I can do for your boss acting like the cheap whore that he is." I said as I stayed strong against the giggles that were trying to overpower me.
My spirit was willing but my body was weak, and I just cracked up laughing like a madman once all three of them returned to looking pissed off at me for fucking with them. Just because I was down and out of the count for now didn't mean I wasn't just going to lay down with my back against the wall and let them have their way with me. No, if they were going to lie down and take it then I was going to either do the same to them or ruin the experience for everyone. The way The Major was glaring at me now definitely made it look like that it was the latter.
"Doctor Hyde, administer another dose of our sedative." The Major said as the doctor behind him as he pulled out a syringe with a weird glowing substance in it in response.
"Gladly. I do have to remind you both that this serum you've provided me could potentially 'silence' our naughty pet if his body reacts poorly to it." Hyde said as he walked over to my right side and looked for some place to inject it in me.
"This man is clearly insane. He clearly doesn't deserve the same amount of respect that you showed the others." The Major said as the doctor struggled to find a place to juice me up with whatever chems he had for me.
The doc looked to be about a decade or two older than I was on account of all the wrinkles and white hairs on his head, so it wasn't surprising that he couldn't move 250 pounds of muscular death and all the other shit that was safely digitized in my Pipboy right now. That shit was heavy, so there was no way the string bean struggling to pull the sleeve up of my duster was going to help things move along without an extra bit of help on my part.
"Hey, doc. You know you could probably just stab that in my back and call it day instead of finding a vein if that stuff your holding is really as strong as you say it is." I told him as I twisted my body enough to reveal my unarmored back to him and worked my silver tongue on him. Both of those were surprisingly easy to do now that I was in an upright position without my ass hanging out like it was in the old repair shop I blew up.
Wait? I blew up a… oh yeah, I did drop a mini-nuke on my feet earlier. That didn't hurt nearly as much as getting ran over by a- SON OF A BITCH! THAT'S WHERE I KNOW THAT SMUG BITCH FROST FROM! SHE'S THE SHITHEAD THAT RAN ME OVER WITH A FUCKING CAR! I am SO going to enjoy giving her a taste of her own medicine once I free myself.
"Oh... I don't know why I didn't think of doing that myself. I must say, it's unusual for me to be working with a subject as cooperative as yourself." The doctor said as he took a quick moment to study my back before I felt the prick of a needle and knew his work was done.
Now, I wasn't cooperating with the guy because I was feeling generous. Fuck that. What I was really trying to do what get whatever fucking chems the guy obvious intended to get in me now rather than later so that they could start working their magic and get me back in fighting shape as soon as possible. Thanks to the 'improvements' I received from the Big Empty, unless that stuff he shot me with was strong enough to take down a Centaur, then there was no way in hell he was going to kill me. Since the guy was apparently a doctor of… well, whatever you needed to study to have a torture room and possible sex dungeon of your own, that meant whatever upper or downer he gave we had to have been ridiculously strong if he was worried it could kill me.
That's the fun thing a bit about medicine right there. It's a real sobering thought, knowing that every substance could kill you if you had enough of it. The only difference between chems, medicine, and everything else was just that you didn't need a whole lot of chems in your system to 'accidentally' kill yourself unlike most things. Another fun thing about chems is that there were two types of them: the uppers that made you feel more of something like Psycho, and the downers that made you feel less of something like Med-X.
Yeah… that's not the best way to explain things but who cares. I'm not here to give a lesson on medicine and other shit like that. No matter what the doctor just jammed in me I was getting high and going to be feeling real better soon. Whether it was because that stuff he gave me took away my pain or gave me enough strength to charge out of here on my own was something I just needed to adjust my escape plan around.
"Okay, he should be much more agreeable now than he was earlier, Major Ironwood." The doctor said as he stepped away from me.
"Major… Ironwood?" I asked out loud before I could stop myself. "That's your name?"
"Yes, and you will show The Major the respect his position demands you an-"
"FROST!" He shouted as he gave what I assumed was his subordinate a death glare that could probably rival my own.
"I will not tolerate any more interruptions or unprofessional behavior from an officer of your reputation and delicate standing." The Major harshly shouted, referencing what could only be some major fuck up that nearly cost Frost her job… maybe her life if my feeling about The Major was right..
"Aww, lover's quarrel? That's cute." I said, earning yet another mixed reaction from my captors.
I didn't mean to say that. Why the hell did I say that?
"As you wish, Major." Frost said as she walked out of sight behind me, but not before shooting me a spiteful look to go along with it.
I was about to blow her a kiss just to rub salt on the wound, but my mouth moved on its own before I could refocus my thoughts again. Oh yeah, the shackles on my arm were also kind of a problem too.
"Your name is Ironwood, right? Iron… wood?" I asked him.
Why the fuck am I still talking? I do not want to talk but I am still… oh.
Fuck. So that's what the chems were for. They're the ones that make you loopy. If they just shot me up with that liquid braminshit that's left over from making Jet I will kill everyone in this fucking city before the day is over.
"Yes. Do you realize just how desperate your situation is now?" He asked me as he returned his gaze to me.
"No. Iron~wood." I said, before I started chuckling like a freaking kid for the first time in ages.
"What's so funny, you mass murdering bastard?" The Major growled at me.
"YOUR NAME!" I shouted as I finally couldn't hold back my growing laughter any longer and just let loose in everything I had at once.
The Major just looked at me with that same scowl he had before I started laughing at him. I let the guy turn three different shades of red before I decided to let him in on the joke he told me.
"Oh that is too funny! I've heard of some bad names but yours takes the cake. Last time I heard a name like that was when a couple of drunks in the Tops were telling each other what they called their dicks. But you... yours is the best one I have ever heard and it's you're REAL FUCKING NAME! MAJOR IRONWOOD! Who else works for Mantle? GENERAL ERECTION? FIRST OFFICER FLACCID!?" I shouted as I just kept on laughing at laughing at the guy's name.
I could tell that even the doctor was holding back a chuckle as I continued to make fun of the guy that captured me, MAJOR IRONWOOD! HAH! The doc barely let out a single gasp of air before MAJOR IRONWOOD turned around and gave him a long… hard… look…
Pfft…
I… I need a moment to just… oh fuck that's too funny.
"What's… what's your first name? Oh please tell me it is Dick…" I said in between gasps for air as I slowly started to get control of myself again.
All of a sudden, the Doctor Hyde started howling with laughter and The Major's head looked like the tip of his namesake with how red his face had gotten and all the shaking as he did his best to not murder either of us. Why the doctor laughed at that when what I was doing earlier didn't make any sense to me though. It wasn't like the guy's name was actually…
Oh my god. You have to be fucking kidding me.
"Your first name is actually Dick? Your full, legal name… is Dick Ironwood? MAJOR Dick Ironwood?" I asked him, somehow managing to keep a straight face while doing so.
The Major didn't even bother answering me, instead just continuing to let his hand hover over the big iron on his hip as he continued glaring daggers at the doctor who was now using one of the tables beside him to keep himself from falling over as he kept on laughing. I didn't care that at least one person in this room was going to get shot once the day was over, after waking up from a dumpster and things only getting worse from there I needed a laugh. I was damn near, oh fuck it, I was crying because I was laughing so hard at the poor son of a bitch for having the most vindictive mother and general in the world! Major Dick Ironwood! You can't make this stuff up!
I expect names like that from the porn stars of New Reno, not some random fuck with a murder boner for me! I mean, he said it with such a straight face and everything! I would have felt bad for the guy if he hadn't been the guy Drunk Me had apparently started a war with and sent those assassins after me earlier. Still didn't know what the hell he did to make me start murdering his people, but it had to have been a pretty big dick move to have gotten Drunk Me's attention. Not as big as shooting a Deathclaw with a case of ironwood in the ironwood, but almost.
Heh heh… Dick Ironwood...
The Major, I don't think I can ever call him anything else without cracking up now, was looking at me now that the doctor had reeled himself in enough to not laugh at the guy who would probably be slashing his budget after this or some other shit. His hands were not hovering over either his weapon or new namesake anymore, so he obviously wasn't going to put me down for making fun of him. This guy was definitely by the books if he wasn't going to shoot a guy for making fun of his name, or a possible divorce, but the look on his face told me he wasn't just rearing his hand back for a high five for my awesome joke.
Nope, that was the wind up for the tried and true backhanded bitch slap. His pimp hand looked like it had been honed over the years of slapping plenty of other uppity people before me, and from the way he was holding it my punishment would be coming in hot and fast.
Just like his… no, no. That's just a cheap dick joke. Even I can't laugh at that one.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. That's going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me." I warned him before he crossed the point of no return.
My unintentionally uttered attempt to help him was thankfully ignored, and the dumbass actually tried to slap me in the face even after that doc he was talking to did some scans of my body or whatever the hell they were doing when I was stuck reliving the past. I guess Europeans weren't too familiar with implants and prosthetics because there was no The Major would have aimed for my face if he knew what was underneath my mask. I didn't so much as flinch when his knuckles hit home on my jaw and killed whatever momentum he had been expecting to last him for the follow through of his slap. A nice, metallic clang and a light snapping of bone echoed through the room for a moment before The Major tried to save face and pull back his hand without showing any signs of how badly he messed up.
"I warned you~." I taunted, soaking up the pained look on his face for as long as I could. "I got a jaw that's as hard as your cock, Ironwood. Well, that is if your porn name is accurate."
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY? I COULD HAVE YOU DEAD RIGHT NOW AND NO ONE WOULD KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!." The Major barked at me in either an attempt to save face or regain control of the conversation.
"You stole the words right out of my mouth, Major Erection." I said.
The Major reared his hand back for another slap, but then thought better than to try and do any more damage to his hand by slapping me again. Instead, he punched me as hard as he could in my chest and although he didn't hurt me I still heard something go 'crunch' that probably should not have gone 'crunch'. Whatever chems they shot me up with apparently worked as a painkiller, so that shit in me was definitely a downer of some kind if that's the case. The waves of pain that had been messing with me had almost became a distant memory now that I thought about it, although the freshly cracked rib The Major would definitely feel like a bitch once I got to feeling better.
"Huh. That all you got, Dick, or have you already blown your load all over my face?" I taunted, no longer trying to fight back against the chems in me and just letting the insults fly free.
"SHUT. UP." The Major said as he continued to glare at me.
"Oh, what a shame. I thought you wanted to know the name of the guy whose dick has been overshadowing your own." I said, pleasantly surprised at how the doc behind him was managing to keep a straight face.
I didn't get punched for saying that, but the glare that The Major had been giving me hadn't gone away yet. Since he wasn't saying anything and I couldn't keep my goddamn mouth shut, I just kept on yapping.
"Courier Six, that's me, the guy who has been fucking your shit up all on his lonesome." I said, and before The Major could say anything about my name I saved him the trouble of asking the obvious, "Sorry if you were expecting something else. Some slimy bastard shot me in the head about a year ago and I haven't really been the same ever since. I can't remember most things about myself, everything I do remember only came back to me after I tried some things out and hoped for the best. Hell, my 'name' is just the job title I had when some passerby found me. When they called me Courier Six I thought that was my name. By the time I realized that it wasn't, I was a fucking legend at killing shit and calling myself anything else meant I'd have to rebuild my reputation from scratch."
The Major and doc shared a look with each other once I finally went silent. Neither one of them looked like they believed what they were hearing and the Long Johnson in front of me wasn't looking too pleased with what I was telling him.
"Are you telling me that a mailman, A FUCKING MAILMAN, is what has been making me and the entire kingdom of Mantle look like absolute idiots?" He shouted at me like a rabid animal.
"THE fucking mailman, and don't you forget it shrimp dick." I growled back at him.
The Major looked completely deflated for a moment after I told him who I was. I honestly couldn't blame him. Coronel Moore, Caesar, Mother Pearl, Joshua Graham, and just about every badass I had the pleasure of meeting all had that same reaction as the guy in front of me. Slack jawed, unfocused eyes, the color draining from their face, and the thousand yard stare as they thought how any other random schmuck they insulted could be just like me someday. I liked to call that little combo the 'Courier Experience' and I loved delivering it to people like The Major most of all.
I didn't get to bask in the shocked look The Major was sporting for very long though. He made sure to wipe that stupid look of his face the moment he realized I playing with him. He quickly turned back to his least favorite doctor and whispered something to him. The doc was about to protest against whatever he had been told, but a simple glare was enough to silence whatever he had to say. The doctor only sighed and pulled out another syringe before heading towards my way.
"So… playtime is over?" I asked the glum looking doctor as he looked for a place to inject more chems into me.
"I'm afraid so. It's truly a shame, I was hoping to learn so much from you. Instead, The Major seems to want you dead for humiliating him." The doc said as he turned me over so he had access to my back again.
"Well shit, if he wanted to kill someone for that then he should hire you to 'look' after his parents. Ah well, it was nice knowing you Hyde." I told him as I prepared myself for what would happen next.
"Likewise… if only my other patients were as cooperative and entertaining as yourself, Courier." He said as I felt a numb spot enter my back and slowly start to grow.
I kept silent as I felt that chem work its way through my body. Even though I wouldn't like what was going to happen, it needed to happen. I just needed to stay awake and fight what was inside of me until everything fell into place.
Just needed to stay awa… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
"His vitals have flatlined again. I am still not detecting any brain activity or a pulse… but that is probably due to the equipment that I have requested upgrades to for months now malfunctioning." The doctor said, carelessly chiding The Major as he did so.
"Congratulations on putting down the most dangerous man in Vacuo like a sick dog, Major Ironco… Ironwood." Doctor Hyde droned one as he checked Courier Six's vitals on his scroll, careful to walk back a slip of the tongue that would more than likely have led to his death.
"Don't flatter me. If it were up to me, I would have shot that animal in man's clothing the moment I saw him and been done with it." The Major said, showing no indication as to whether or not he heard the doctor's retraction.
"I still don't know why you didn't just kill him instead of going through with this whole charade of a false interrogation." Hyde said. "If this guy was able to make you sound like Specialist Frost, then I can only imagine how much of a headache he was to you."
"I did not call him an animal for what he is, but what he did." The Major said as he removed his icy glare from the Grimm Wanderer and looked down on the doctor beside him. "The man acted like nothing more than a rabid animal waiting to be put down."
"Yes, yes, of course. Your Grim Wanderer and all the other pets you send my way are all the scum you and the rest of Mantle says they are." The doctor chided as he turned his back away from the fuming man behind him.
"Don't you dare act like you are any holier than I am, Major. None of us are the heroes that the kingdom says we are. We are murderers and tyrants to these people. No amount of sugar coating our words will ever change that." He continued as he started readying his tools for yet another dissection today.
His tools were already covered in blood and bits of fur thanks to the other pets he had been working with since the Grimm Wanderer had made his appearance. The only reason he knew about the Grimm Wanderer was due to the drastic increase in 'volunteers' that had brought him, all of them unfortunate witnesses of faunus origin who needed to disappear quickly and out of sight. The extra research material for his studies had been something of a blessing, as were the drugs that had been sent to him for testing purposes.
Most of the drugs he had tested were either flawed or incompatible with his pets, as most of them quickly killed his test subjects with only a few showing any beneficial results. Only three of the drugs seemed remotely useful, one of which were an unknown compound contained in syringes that regenerated tissue in small amounts, at the cost of poisoning the user with an unknown substance. Another drug had similar effects to first with a much more observable effect when it allowed for severed limbs to be reattached, although the effects never lasted longer than an hour before the limb it had been applied to had its flesh practically melt off the bone. The last one he had been able to observe any beneficial effects from was the inhaler duct taped to a can of spray paint. Apparently called 'Turbo' according to the label scribbled across it in crayon, it gave its users what could only be described as temporary super speed. It seemed to be much more effective than most speed related semblances as it allowed its users to move as if the rest of the world was moving in slow motion in comparison. Hyde could only drool at the potential promotions and new projects he could undertake once he figured out how to prevent the user's heart from exploding less than a minute after inhaling a mouthful of Turbo.
Unfortunately, he had run out of those drugs at the same time he ran out of pets to test them on. That left his only work as the dissection of Courier Six's corpse now that his test subject and origin of those wonderful drugs was dead. Hyde could only curse The Major for killing that brilliant man before he could share the secrets behind his incredible creations. The doctor had no doubt in his mind that Six knew exactly how to both use those drugs effectively and recreate them to some capacity, if not direct them to someone who could. Hyde felt especially bitter that he was the person who had to kill the best lead he had to bring himself the glory he so desperately wanted.
Oh… and the glory that Mantle lusted for too, but the kingdom could rot in hell for all he cared. For stifling his genius with a very limited budget and only allowing him access to prisoners instead of the greater population to achieve better results for his experiments, Hyde did all that he could do to get back at his oppressors without giving them a reason to have him executed. Annoying The Major had been enjoyable while it had lasted, but he knew better than to push his luck any further than he already had today. Doing more than his typical requests for improved resources on top of laughing at his name surely would have led to his 'replacement', as it had to so many others in Vacuo.
"Ah, it truly is a shame that things had to go the way they did Six. I for one would have loved to have heard all that you could have shared with me and the rest of the world. I can only hope that I can find enough pets to make sure what you have shown the world you are capable of is never lost to history." Doctor Hyde mused as he finished cataloguing his tools and prepared himself to begin the dissection of his newest pet to see what made him tick.
*C-Clink* *C-Clink*
The sound of several small, metal objects breaking behind him froze the doctor in absolute terror before he could proceed. The sound of someone dropping down to the floor that followed only increased his worries. Hyde knew he had been alone with the many pets and all that was in the room with him were corpses in various states and pieces surrounding him. There was nothing he knew of that could have made that sound.
*Clomp* *Clomp* *Clomp*
There shouldn't have been anyone else in the room with him. Working nonstop on his experiments for the past several days must have been causing him to hallucinate earlier. That was all he could hope once the sound of someone marching towards him with a vengeance vanished for a moment...
*Clomp* *Clomp* *Clomp*
...before they started coming undeniably closer. There was definitely someone else in the room with him.
He should have been alone, but he clearly wasn't. Whatever was behind him was big, muscular, and far more than he could handle alone judging by the shadow that loomed over him. Corpses didn't move. Hyde knew that, everyone knew that. Either something else had been hidden in the room with him, or perhaps...
"Oh… oh no." Hyde whispered as he looked back to his scroll in the hopes that what he feared was happening wasn't true.
The firm pair of hands that gripped onto his quivering shoulders and the red glow behind him coming from the artificial eye he inspected earlier proved his fears were all too real.
"OH YES!"
Author's Corner:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year or whatever it is that you are celebrating this year. So long as you are enjoying yourself I don't think it really matters.
That bit aside, I hope I didn't crush anyone's hopes for this story too hard with the REAL reveal as to who The Major was. Was it a dirty trick that I pulled? Maybe it was, or maybe it will come into play later. Only I know and I am not telling. And no, I did not use the name Ironwood just because it sounds like a euphemism for some serious morning wood and for the sake of a cheap dick joke. That is something that I just thought to myself while watching RWBY that never let me take General Erection seriously afterwards.
This was a bit of a slow and short chapter because I did not want to create 30k+ monster. Not having "day ruiner" shifts at work also helped, you know the ones I'm talking about if you've ever worked them.
I must say that I am very surprised with how much this story has caught on. Compared to what I had been expecting, this is kinda like a dream. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you all enough for your support.
On a completely unrelated note… how do we all feel about a "Courier's Mailbag" chapter or two in the far future? If and when I do decide to do them it will act as a bit of a breather/filler piece in between Acts. If you have questions that you want answered by the madman himself, start thinking of some for later. I'd love to hear more from you all!
Well, that's enough of me gushing over you loveable fellas. Thanks for reading and I hope to see you all in the future!