The chilly night breeze whips through Ruby's hair and sends flakes of snow twirling through the from the piles on the ground as she steps outside and closes the door quietly behind her. She barely registers the cold as she makes her way down the deserted street, too lost in her turbulent thoughts to think about anything besides flight, putting one foot in front of the other, getting out of here.
She just needs to get away from the others for a while, have some time to herself to think about things. Because nothing seems to make any sense anymore. Ever since she'd woken up in the snow a few days ago, confused and lost, her head pounding, with no idea where she was, everything has just been a gigantic, tangled mess. She just wants to open her eyes and wake up back at home in Patch with her dad and sister, help Yang pack up to go to Beacon and see her sister off to school with her dad, knowing that they're all happy and safe where they belong. Even though she knows that she would have missed Yang while she was at school, she knows that her sister would be doing what she loved and making new friends.
But she can't do that, apparently. She has no idea when the last time she's seen her dad, but she knows that it's been a long time, probably. And although Yang and Qrow are both herewith her, they both seem different than how Ruby remembers them. Qrow seems more depressed, reaching for his flask at the slightest inconvenience, while Yang seems more distant and reserved and angry. Both of them seem to be hurting deeply, and although Ruby wants to help them, she has no idea how. Sometimes, it seems like they don't even want her around anymore.
Or at least, they don't want this version of her around, the confused, lost version that has no idea what's going on most of the time. They want their version of her that they remember, that they can look to for advice on what to do. The version of her who remembers everything that they do. It's the same with the rest of the group. It feels odd, being the person who everyone expects to make the big decisions. Ruby's never really though of herself as much of a leader. It feels like she just gets lucky sometimes, thinking of what to do on the fly.
Apparently, she's the only one who feels this way, judging by the reactions of everyone else back at the house when Jaune's attempt to fix her had failed. The disappointment radiating off the rest of the group, her uncle and sister and the friends she'd supposedly made while at school and while traveling, was practically palpable, and suffocating, so thick that she felt like she could cut it with a knife. So Ruby had taken her chance to get out of there as soon as the coast was clear.
Walking entirely on autopilot, she pays no attention to her surroundings until she finds herself in a small courtyard, standing in front of a statue of a girl that she recognizes. One that she watched die in that vision or whatever it was that Jinn had showed them. Someone she's admired for years, who she apparently went to school with and was friends with, although she has no memories of that at the moment.
It's Pyrrha Nikos, standing tall and proud in her armor, her sword and shield held at the ready. Just like the fighter she is—had been. Ruby swallows hard against the sudden lump in her throat and blinks back the tears stinging in her eyes, before collapsing back onto the bench facing the statue. She pulls her knees up to her chest and buries her face in them, ignoring the chill of the metal behind her and underneath her.
None of this seems fair.
She has no idea how long she sits there, wallowing and attempting not to cry, before she suddenly feels a hand on her shoulder and jolts back to awareness. She looks up to see a red-haired woman with a kind face standing next to her. She seems strangely familiar. "Are you alright, dear?"
"I—" she clears her throat when her voice comes out rough and hoarse. "I'm—I don't know." She'd been about to say that she was fine, but she's getting tired of trying to pretend that everything is okay when it really, really isn't.
She braces herself to be scolded, or to be told to just get over it already, but it doesn't happen. The woman smiles sadly at her and pats her shoulder, before taking a seat next to her on the bench. "I'm sorry to hear that," she says gently. "Do you mind telling me about what's wrong?"
"Everything" seems to be the only way to sum up the problem entirely, but that doesn't really seem like the right answer. "It's—complicated," she begins hesitantly. "There's a lot that's happened, recently, and I just feel so lost. I have no idea what I should do, and everyone keeps to me for answers when I'm just as confused as they are."
Wincing, Ruby realizes that she probably shouldn't have dumped all of that on a complete stranger. But before she can even open her mouth to apologize, the woman replies "It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, my dear. You remind me of my daughter, and the way she always tried to handle everything on her own, even when the people around her were trying to help. You sound like a bright, strong, young lady, but you're also young still. You don't need to do everything by yourself. It's okay to rely on your friends just as much as they rely on you." She glances up at the statue sadly before getting to her feet.
"It was nice meeting you, Miss Rose. I wish you the best in your endeavors." And between one blink and the next, she's vanished, leaving Ruby reeling in shock, both from her words, and the unexpected recognition. How did she know her name? And why had she seemed like someone Ruby had met before?
"Ruby!" She's ripped out of her thoughts by the sound of someone shouting her name. "Ruby! Where are you?"
Apparently her absence hadn't gone unnoticed. "Here!" she tries to call back, but her voice comes out too quiet. Clearing her throat, she tries again. "Over here!"
There's the sound of hurried footsteps in the snow, and then Yang, Weiss, and Blake burst into the tiny courtyard in a huge rush. "Ruby!" Yang shouts, before stepping forward and scooping her up in a giant bear hug. Ruby feels her eyes water. Now this is the big sister that she remembers. "We've been looking everywhere for you!"
"I'm sorry," Ruby says with a wince. She hadn't meant to freak them out like that. "I shouldn't have just wandered off like that, without telling anyone."
But Blake cuts her off almost immediately. "No, Ruby, we're sorry," she says quietly.
"We were so caught up in ourselves that we didn't even think about how all of this was affecting you," Weiss chimes in.
Finally, Yang releases her, setting her back down but keeping her hands on Ruby's shoulders. "Are you okay?"
"I'm—" She shuts her mouth suddenly, hesitating. "No, I'm not." Before she can lose her nerve, she forces herself to keep going. "I'm not okay. I know that you guys want your Ruby, the one who remembers everything and knows what to do, but I'm not her. I wish I was, but I'm not. I don't know how to be her. I'm no leader—I'm just as lost and confused as everyone else is. I'm sorry—"
She's staring at the ground, so she doesn't have to see the disappointment on their faces at her confession, when she's suddenly cut off, caught off guard by her sister lunging forwards to hug her again. She's quickly joined by Blake and Weiss on either side, wrapping their arms around her as well.
"Oh, Ruby," her sister murmurs, sounding close to tears. "Don't talk like that. Memories or no memories, you're still our Ruby, and we wouldn't want anyone else."
"We've all gotten so used to you being there for us, but we haven't done a very good job of being there for you," Blake admits solemnly. "But we'd like to try to be there for you, be better teammates, better friends, if you'll give us a chance."
Weiss squeezes her hand gently. "We're still partners, memories or no memories, and team RWBY isn't team RWBY without you. You're not alone, Ruby, I promise."
"Team RWBY, huh? I like the sound of that," Ruby jokes, her voice watery. She pulls back, scrubbing at her face, although it's a useless gesture. But even with the tears trickling down her face, she can't stop smiling. It's the happiest she's felt since this whole thing started. "Thanks, guys."
Things still feel pretty bleak, and there's still so much that they have to figure out. But so long as they stick together, they'll be okay.
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