Chapter 44: A Never-Ending Train
Saying goodbye to Hogwarts this year is one of the hardest farewells Cressida has ever had to go through. As the castle disappeared as they carriages brought them to the train station, she had to quickly wipe away a wet droplet off her cheek before anybody else in the carriage saw it.
At least the train ride would be comfortable and somewhat familiar. The five of them line up with their trunks, Sirius and James with their owls, waiting to place them in the storage carriage.
Remus glances over his shoulder, standing in front of Cressida. "Why don't you and Pete go find us a compartment before it gets busy. James and I can take your stuff."
Cressida's mouth is dry and her throat sore, making it hard to answer. "Yeah, sure. Whatever." She hands her trunk over to Remus who smiles softly at her and Peter begins to wheel his over to Sirius who is closer than James.
"I'll go with her. Pete can help you with them," James contends, already stepping back in line with her.
"I've already got Peter's trunk," Sirius argues. "Besides, we're at the back of the line and we'll need muscle to haul these things above everybody else's." James and Sirius watch each other, both trying to say something to the other through their eyes alone.
"I'll try not to be offended," Peter mutters in her ear. She can't be bothered to crack a smile or sympathetic remark.
James coughs through a closed mouth. "Fine." He looks back to Cressida and Peter. "Get a decent one will you?"
Cressida nods, not looking back over her shoulder as she strides towards the entrance that would take her to the private compartment carriages, having very little care if Peter is behind her or not. Students are already trying to fill the compartments, many only being held by a single person who is doing the same as her and holding it for their friends.
Maybe by some miraculous circumstance, the train will break down today and delay their arrival back at King Cross' station.
Cressida passes many empty ones, ignoring Peter's consistent efforts to point them out to her. Her eyes are pointed at the far end of the carriage's corridor, knowing exactly which compartment she wants. If there are students in there already, then her mind is already coming up with ways to get them to leave.
Fortunately, for the other theoretical students, the compartment is empty and Cressida silently glides into it, taking the seat on the left closest to the window. Peter timidly sits down on the other side in the middle, not quite sitting as though he's prepared to move as soon as the others come in. She couldn't care less if Sirius complained about not having the window seat.
The top of her forehead presses against the glass, watching as more and more students move from the platform and onto the train. She can see the sandy-brown hair of Remus, his eyes filtering over each of the windows he can see. Probably looking if he can see her or Peter through it. Cressida doesn't bother waving, but he still spots her.
James enters the compartment first, quiet and shrouded. He takes the seat opposite her. Cressida smiles tightly at him, lifting her head from the glass, watching Remus sit on the other side of Peter and Sirius take the spot on her right. They all wear the same solemn expression. Like they've all been delivered terrible news.
"Who died?" The words are meant to come off playful yet inquisitive, but instead, she just sounds flat and uncaring. Merlin she is going to sound horrible if someone actually has.
"No one, Cress," Sirius answers her as though her question had been not at all a hyperbole of some sort. She knows that while he is telling the literal truth, it isn't the complete one. Cressida eyes each of them off, staring with Sirius, then moving onto Remus and finally James. The first two only smile softly, not holding her gaze but not out of avoidance. Sirius has a flicker of guilt behind his that she ignores. But James stares right back at her.
He's searching for something. Straightening her face, Cressida narrows her eyes. she can't help it. "What?" asks aloud.
James' eyes drop slightly, turning to the window. The train begins to move with a slight jostle. She doesn't look away, demanding his answer. For a brief moment, he looks back at her. "Nothing," he whispers. Cressida snaps her eyes away, going back to looking over the now disappearing platform.
The carriage is filled with quiet murmurs between them for the next hour or so as Scotland's countryside flies past them. Cressida almost falls asleep, but the constant reminder of her destination keeps her awake, not wanting to miss one moment.
The quiet is a peace she can live with. Until James breaks it. "You should come back to my place," he says, this time louder and demanding of her attention. "Spend the entire summer there. We can take you straight from the platform."
Cressida stares at him, pulling apart the pieces of his offer. At the realisation, her glare turns to the boy on her right. Sirius is already watching the exchange carefully, but as soon as her eyes meet his, he looks away, pretending to have not heard a thing. "I need to spend time with my family," she answers. "Besides, they would've travelled all the way to London to pick me up."
It isn't James or Sirius who responds, nor a starkly quietly Peter. Remus leans forward. "Cress, we just think it would be best if you would-"
"Fuck you Lupin."
Her response is very much a shock to the entire carriage, including herself but she can't take back those few precious seconds. Remus is the most shocked. They've never had any sort of disagreement that has raised beyond petty banter.
Her mind runs through images of her leaving the carriage to find peace somewhere else, away from their stares. But Cressida stays seated, tucking her legs underneath herself and goes back to looking out the window. Whether the boys don't want to have her snap at them either for their own sake, or hers, they don't try to bring up what they were attempting to imply again.
She isn't weak. She isn't a young girl who is incapable of looking after herself. Cressida is a Gryffindor and one of the best charm casters in Hogwarts. She plays with a werewolf each month in the form of a bear. She's duelled some of the darkest students in the corridors and won.
And most of all, Cressida has experienced the cruciatus curse. No pain that her family has caused her could ever amount to those few seconds where she withered on the ground in absolute agony. The cruelness of her father's face and words would never mount to the cruelness of that spell.
The back of Sirius' fingers brush against her arm. Cressida pushes them away. Not in a subtle manner that one might brush them off at a dinner party. No, she pushes them off her arm with her other hand. He shouldn't have told them anything. She told him in confidence. And he blurted it out to them like gossip.
Sirius sits in silence. They all do.
"Excuse me."
Cressida's eyes don't leave the shrinking view of trees as the weight on the seat next to her disappears. What on earth does Sirius have to be upset about? Nobody says anything as he leaves the compartment.
Sirius never handles his own thoughts well. They always show in the most uncontrolled way. Cressida realises that maybe he's learnt to do that, not learnt to control them like others usually do. His family wanted to control him. So he rebelled. Being uncontrollable is his form of control.
Another person – James – stands up, just a minute or so after Sirius leaves. "I'm going to go see if he's alright." He leaves too, leaving an uncertain Peter and a quiet Remus.
After ten minutes and no return, Cressida breaks her gaze away from the window.
"I'm sorry," she says to Remus. "I don't want to fuck you."
Remus' lips curl upwards in a silent chuckle. "I'm glad. I was worried you were mentally undressing me with how focused you looked."
Cressida hides her smile behind her fist which her chin rests on, leaning against the windowsill. "I wouldn't be that bad, would I?" Remus pretends to make a wincing face, eyes diverting which succeeds in bringing an actual laugh from the both of them.
"I think if I closed my eyes the entire time, I'd be perfectly fine but I think having sex with one of my best friends might be a little strange." Cressida hums in debative thought. "Could you wear a wig?"
"Should I wear a red one?"
Remus' face turns a stark shade of red which Cressida can't help but lapse into laughter at. Even Peter sniggers, earning a slap on his shoulder from Remus. Just as Remus launches forward at her next, Sirius and James slide the door open to their compartment. Cressida shrieks, her legs striking out to push against his chest. One leg lands, the other falling to the chair.
"We leave for five minutes," James drawls in amusement as Cressida struggles to keep the tall boy in his seat.
"Ten, actually," Peter corrects, dodging Remus' waving arms.
Cressida looks to Sirius. She couldn't let the last time she sees him in weeks be left like it was before. "Are you going to help me or not?!"
Sirius grins at her request, brushing past James and placing himself between the two. Cressida drops her legs, grinning up at the boy who stands over her, his back to Remus. The sand-haired boy tries smacking Sirius out of the way, only to be met with a groan. "Are you trying to turn me on Moony? Because it's working."
Cressida watches Remus cringe from under Sirius half-spread arms and falls back against his seat. "Merlin, no," he moans. Sirius gives her a look saying; I knew that'd work. He falls down in his original seat, more slumped but easier looking. Cressida is in a similar position.
James huffs, entertained by their antics and walks between the seats to go back to his own, opposite her. Before he can sit down, Cressida shoots her leg back out and presses her foot against the seat, blocking his path. James stops just as his knee presses against her. He stares down at her leg then slowly trails upwards until he reaches her taunting gaze.
"Really?"
Cressida raises her brow in challenge. Exhaling loudly, as though gathering the energy, James lifts one leg to step over hers. She reacts by bringing up her other leg and encircling his right one completely between them. He stumbles slightly as his upper body moves forward but the bottom half is stuck. He gives her another look.
Without hesitation, he bends down, running his under along the back of her calf until he reaches her knee. Then he pinches the skin. Cressida jolts at the sudden pain, her knees driving upwards to escape it. What neither of them anticipated is her knee driving right up between his legs.
His grunt of pain overlaps hers, one hand hastily searching for the windowsill, the other going to the affected area. "Bloody hell," he spits out. Cressida pulls her legs back, and he sinks downwards. Feeling the slightest bit sorry for him, she attempts to hold him up, arms circling under his armpits.
"That was your own fault," she chides him. He doesn't respond, lips tightly pressing together. The boys are already laughing. James groans one last time, hissing something under his breath and then leans his head against the space on the chair just to the right of her legs.
Cressida knows she should enjoy this time with them and not be caught in the semantics of her return home. Laughing softly, she offers her silent apology by running her fingers through his hair. He does it to relax himself, so perhaps the movement from her elicits a similar feeling. Pulling her leg underneath her again to provide him more room, Cressida leans against the back of the chair, this time, facing Sirius.
"Did you see the Trolley Lady while you were out there? I missed breakfast and I'm starving."
"Candy won't fill you," Remus argues.
"If you eat enough it will," she smirks back. She feels James' move from underneath her hand, but with a quick glance downwards, he is only readjusting himself into a more comfortable position, one leg stretching upwards over the opposite seat, the other bent close to his chest.
"I didn't," Sirius answers. "But I'll buy you all the chocolate frogs you want when it comes."
His apology.
"Thank you."
She smiles at him, then down at James who has one hand resting over the buckle of his belt, the other laying out past his side. Cressida can't see completely, but she would guess his eyes are closed. She focuses on his short fringe, being sure to not brush out the soft curls.
It is late afternoon when the train pulls into King's Cross Station. Cressida' head is flopped back against the cushioning of the seat, wondering if she didn't move if the train would take her back to Hogwarts. The boys move first, shuffling and grabbing their few belongings they kept with them for the ride. It isn't until hands are placed in front of her that she bothers to notice them.
"Can you get our trunks?" James asks the other three boys as Cressida slides her hands into his. "We'll catch up."
Rather than a snarky remark that she knows is on the tip of Sirius' tongue, he only nods. Cressida lets James pull her off the seat, watching the other boys shuffle out of the room.
Once the pair are left, James walks to the compartment door, sliding it shut and pulling the curtain down. Their carriage is at the very far end of the train, leaving only the edge of the platform visible.
"I know you're upset at Sirius," he says to her, soft and calm in tone. "But he's worried. And now we all are too." He breathes heavily through his nose, signs of agitation revealing on his face. Cressida stands there, letting him speak. "I really want you to come to my place. If not right now, then as soon as possible. I don't feel comfortable leaving you with your family."
Cressida shrugs lightly. "I'm not worried," she lies. "I'll come to your place when I usually do. Four weeks in."
James shakes his head. "Four weeks is too long."
"Four weeks is the earliest I can leave," she adds to her previous statement with more emphasis on her selected words. Her father wouldn't allow her to stay anywhere more than a few hours outside the house. Family time, he calls it. "I'll be there the first week of July. As always."
James pinches his lips together, visibly unhappy at the arrangement. "Please," he tires one last time. "I-I…"
"What if I write to you," Cressida offers. "Every day. With the diary."
His eyes soften partially as he considers her words. She might not always be truthful, but at least he can be in contact with her constantly. "The mirror." James stands more confidently, nodding at his own idea. "You can take Sirius' mirror. He doesn't really need it when he lives with me. Same conditions."
"Alright." If that would make him happy, then she will. And it would be nice to have such a visual way to speak with them if she wants to at any time. James smiles at her then pulls her into his tight arms. Cressida embraces him wholly back, forgetting all the heartache she's had with him. Lily. He pulls back first but doesn't move his arms from either side of her.
He smiles and huffs at something, looking somewhere along the edge of her face. "Look at these little hairs," he murmurs, reaching up to brush the short hairs that usually frame her face. He doesn't brush them away from her hair, instead taming them to frame her face even more. "They're adorable." Her natural reaction is to smile so she lets it happen.
The pair soon move out of the train with the other remaining stragglers. They look around for their friends, knowing they wouldn't yet diverge until the proper goodbyes are said between them. And their parents have learnt to wait together because of it.
Cressida spots Remus' tall figure first, pointing him out to James. Fleamont, Euphemia, Hope Lupin and Peter's father who she hasn't learnt the name of yet are standing in a small group. Her trunk, as well as James' are there too, but no Sirius. Remus must read her gaze, watching her frown grow as he nods in a direction off to her right. Cressida hurriedly looks for her brother, wondering if his family are brewing trouble.
And she's right. Only, not the family she was assuming. Sirius and Regulus are talking. Civilly. Or at least that is what it looks like from a distance. Cressida can only see part of Regulus' face, Sirius shoulder blocking it and his frame turned away. She stops walking, making James stop too. What on earth are they talking about? She has a mind to go over there and figure it out. But she trusts Regulus, however much she shouldn't.
Regulus' sharp gaze fixates on her over his brother's shoulder. A shiver runs down her spine. A feeling of sudden and near danger emerging. But it couldn't be from Regulus? Could it?
He looks back to his brother, speaking, then the younger Black turns away, striding swiftly and smoothly towards his awaiting family, leaving Sirius to stand in place and absorb what was said. Ever so slowly, the older Black boy turns, his eyes trailing along the ground. Cressida actively wonders what they are looking for, until, they lift up and meet hers. The feeling of danger doesn't leave her which confirms that it wasn't Regulus that caused the feeling.
Forcing her thoughts elsewhere for the time being, Cressida wanders over to the group of awaiting friends and family. She hugs Remus first, promising to write to him. At Sirius' return, it is James who questions him on his brotherly conversation.
"It was nothing," Sirius replies coldly. "Don't worry about it."
Cressida goes to smile over her shoulder at him, but is met with a look that makes her spine turn cold. His eyes are set on her. They are filled with something that she can't quite place. It's almost fear, but not of her. For her.
"I have to go," Cressida announces, glancing over her shoulder. She hugs the rest of the boys as tightly as she can, almost forgetting to ask for Sirius' two-way mirror but James remembers before she leaves. With the mirror in her bag and trunk in hand, Cressida wanders away from the gathering, eyes scanning the crowd for her mother. Just in case.
Of course not.
Cressida continues walking towards the edge of the platform, apparating just out of sight.
As Promised!
Anyways; this is the end of Part two, and it has ended with a few things to be anticipated. Part 3 will start tomorrow, so absolutely no wait.