Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

To make the notes easier to follow Dylan's are bolded.

Chapter Twenty-Three

I walked into History and made my way over to my usual seat. My wife had yet to arrive, she was coming from Drama and often was late as she had to walk from the other side of campus. As I waited for her I turned to look out the window, choosing to avoid conversation with my fan club as Mrs B McKay had started to refer to them as, and instead I'd rather run through the what if scenarios for the thousandth time. I had be running the scenarios ever since I decided I didn't like the idea of just dating Bren, didn't like how inadequate it was to describe us. These scenarios were the ever present thought in my head now- how to get my wife home without causing any challenge to Jack's parole and without having to tie both families in expensive lawsuits.

The money was no issue, I'd pay whatever I needed to to any lawyer if I could wear my ring everyday, go to bed every night with my wife, wake up next to her and get ready in our dressing room together- just like I imagined this morning. I wasn't worried about the money well not for me and Bren. The McKay's could afford it, the Walsh's though…

The air change's and I move my head to the doorway, it takes her less than a second to appear. She smiles at me and then shakes her head slightly as she walks to her usual seat next to mine. "How am I ever going to surprise you if you always know when I'm near?"

I ignore the fact that she knows it to. We had spoken about the shift in air we both feel.

"Oh I can give you a few suggests on way's to surprise me, though you are pretty creative I'm not sure you'd need them." She smiles and bites her lip, picking up from the look on my face where those suggestions would lie.

Our conversation is stalled then by the start of our History lecture. Within a few minutes I'm passing a paper in front of her, she takes it and as her finger grazes mine every cell in my body awakens. I'd give all the money in our account to be able to touch her whenever I wanted, to feel that electricity. Nearly two years together and that feeling hasn't lessened it's only grown, amplified since we reached a new level of intimacy this summer by our absolute honesty. When she passes the note back I shake my head, okay well our once absolute honesty.

I quickly respond.

MBM what do you mean you aren't telling me? W, I thought we vowed to never keep secrets?

The paper is pushed back onto my desk pretty quickly.

H, that's a low blow. Baby it's nothing important just embarrassing.

The slight blush on her cheek gets me even more interested.

MBM how can anything be embarrassing between us? Need I remind you how well I know you my W, all of you? I can draw pictures or give descriptions if you need further proof of my knowledge of you.

As she reads that one I can see her slightly shake trying to hold in her laugh.

H, one day I want drawn pictures- I've seen your report comment in Art from freshman year. Your teacher thought you had to go right back to the basics, basic shapes- she recommended you learn how to master the circle and square.

I roll my eyes. I barely attended that class, or was drunk or hungover when I did. My wife though, even with my limited artistic ability, she I think I could draw well, she could make me an artist. I keep reading.

Baby, it's so not a big deal but I'd never deny you anything, though it's embarrassing so… what are you going to give me for telling you about what my bizarre twin thinks I was doing last night?

I slip her my reply.

MBM you can have or take anything you want, you own it all as much as I do, and Nym I think I've confirmed that I'd happily go along with any suggestion you make.

I don't need to turn to my wife to feel the smile that is illuminating her face as she reads my response. I wear a matching one when she returns the favour with her response.

H, I want you and me in Baja from the Friday to the Sunday of the Thanksgiving weekend. I want you all to myself for the whole time. I want to see no one else.

I already know the villa I want to take her to, it has it's own private beach.

W done. I'll make the arrangements this afternoon, make sure we have a place with no one near us. Now as to my payment…

As she sends me back the note I feel the embarrassment roll off her. As I read I have to cover my mouth not to laugh. For Brandon to assume she had been pretending saying vows it means that it wasn't the first time. My wife obviously has been caught by her brother practicing her wedding day for years, the dress, the vows, the first dance... That thought immediately pushes my amusement away. I didn't give her that. I gave her an hour from that bridge to walking out of the office married. I didn't make that dream of whatever she imagined happen.

Before I can reply she places another piece of paper on top of the one I'm reading.

H where did you just go?

I pick up my pen and respond- no secrets right.

I'm guessing he's caught you before practicing, dreaming of your day. I didn't give you that. I gave you a bridge, a lock, a choice between two pockets but I didn't give you your dream.

When she gets my response she gives me a slight head shake and then writes for a long time.

Husband you gave me everything because you gave me you, you gave me me solid and whole forever. You know the myths the Greek mythology, you've read it to me over the phone. You even bought a first edition of the book it was originally published in just last week, and you were raised in the aftermath of two twin flames separated. A life without you, us would make me feel hollow.

A dress, flowers, a crowd- when have you or I ever been that couple? We last only a few minutes in company before we are lost in the world we make together- the better world. Our bridge, our lock, the pockets- the choice you gave me to lead our destiny to make sure I knew that it was my comfort level, my choice. That you wanted me to be perfectly happy with the decision. That my husband makes that day better than every fairytale I could have pretended as a child.

In those I was swept up and my prince decided to choose me, he had the control. You made it our call, you made me your partner, you confirmed that I'd by marrying a man who believes my voice was equal to his. You didn't give me my fairytale dream, you showed me something more, you showed me what we would always be about. Us deciding everything together, waiting for the other to catch up when needed, prioritising the others comfort, knowing that love is as much about the feeling it generates as it is about the respect, gentleness and care it fosters between the two people.

You gave me a better dream. I love our dream.

When I finish reading I note her underlining, it takes me less than a nanosecond to feel those words. It's why she left me last time. Why we broke up. The way I had asked her, telling her I'd go along and be happy to wait for her comfort- that she got to decide the pockets, all of that had solidified to her what we were about. I loved every word she had written in that note and I already knew it would be placed in my desk draw when I got home this afternoon for safe keeping, but no words were more calming on my soul than her underlined one's. She wouldn't leave me again.

By Sunday afternoon my son was nearly climbing the walls. I could tell from his eyes what the problem was, they were the eye's that looked back at me in the mirror for over seventeen years- he missed his girl. Yesterday he had been tied up with the bay clean up and then boat shopping with me, today though he had nothing really on. He had gone surfing this morning, taking his mother and me along to. My wife wanted to swim in the ocean- the saltwater pool at the house was not cutting it, and I wanted to be wherever my wife and son were.

When we left the beach we went to The Peach Pit for a late breakfast. He looked around the whole time. Brandon eventually came over and put his hand on my son's shoulder. "Mum decided this morning that a drive to Santa Barbara would be fun. Bren was roped into going. She won't be back till after dinner." Brandon squeezed his shoulder and left. Dylan deflated.

Hours later that deflation is now been replaced by a constant irritation. I think if he could he would move time forward, he's staring at the clock enough. I leave him out in the garage working on his bike and make my way inside.

"Love what are we going to do? He's miserable."

Iris who had been making a fresh batch of iced tea looks up. "Jack he's unfortunately just going to have to learn to deal with it. I thought maybe Cindy was going to give into my request at the dinner and at least let me see her but from what Dylan said that's not going to happen."

I move around the counter and put my arms around my girl. We… well we weren't together officially but touching her was too natural for the both of us. We did it regularly, though I'd like more. I'd like a lot more. I'd like everything. She though wasn't ready and she may never be. I had fucked up a lot.

Her actions were the result of her suffering an illness, my actions were made in sound mind. I may have had a broken heart and spirit but for seventeen years I had gradually become a monster from that. To take me back she would have to forgive more than she should ever have to, and was already giving me more than I deserved.

"I'm sorry my love I know you miss her. I know your occasional phone calls and notes to each other are not the same."

She moves her hand to rest over mine and squeeze it, "no they really aren't. It's funny when I was in Hawaii it was fine because… well I knew I wasn't really wanted or needed here. The both of them were too self sufficient. They had become each others family and there was no place for me. Brandon only just had a place back then. Now though, that phone call. They wanted me to come and be the parent, they gave me room and a trust to protect them. I just feel like now I'm failing that trust. I'm once again failing as a parent."

I grip her tighter pulling her into me completely, she fits perfectly against me like she has done from the moment I met her. I lean my head slightly down to whisper in her ear. "Hey none of that. You have never failed at anything especially at loving your family. Jim and Cindy are causing this not us. You aren't responsible for their bad actions."

"He's miserable though."

"Remember when I'd go away on business, remember what you always would do for any of my colleagues I was travelling with?"

I feel more than hear her laugh, "on day three I'd send them a personal note with a bottle of wine apologising for your behaviour."

"You'd have my secretary deliver them. You'd drop the notes and wines off to her before we had even left for the trip. On every trip you did it."

"On every trip I needed to, you were like a bear with a sore thumb sleeping away from your bed for more than two nights. It was the least I could do for those poor souls who were forced to deal with you."

"Our bed was very comfy but you and I both know if you were travelling with me no notes or wine was needed. I hated being away from my wife. Even if it happened so rarely I hated being away from you. It's unnatural." I boldly kiss her neck, it's not something I have been brave enough to do. When she doesn't tense or pull away I'm confident she doesn't hate it. Though she doesn't extend her neck to give me more room to worship, she used to. Slow and steady. Kissing neck lightly is back on the menu. It's progress.

Once I pull my lips away, I speak again. "It's unnatural for them to. It's only going to get worse and I don't like it. I want to help them, I owe him so much. I owe it to make him happy, I failed at that when he was growing up. I was the cause of all of his unhappiness."

"Oh Jack." She spins around to face me, "he's not keeping score. Our son, well he's incredible he's giving us both as close to a fresh start as he can."

"I know but I want to prove that I'm trying, that I'm worth the effort."

My wife was always good at seeing right into my soul, our soul, she nod's slightly indicating she respects my need. "Okay what are you thinking? My Jack would always have a plan."

I'm instantly alight, I can feel my face beaming. Her Jack. I haven't been that, haven't been claimed by her in seventeen years. I boldly lean down and lay a kiss on her forehead.

She doesn't pull back. One more thing back on the menu.

"Well I'm thinking a bbq. We have this big house, the kids are starting as seniors and well we could invite their whole gang even the parents over. Hell we can invite Lawerence and Vivian Carson, the kids can have the pool and we can have the lounge and dining room. Pretend it's another charity planning meeting. Give our son time hopefully at least half a day with his girl. Give you and me a chance to see our daughter as well."

"Okay but what are you going to do to keep the men busy? I can't imagine you lot sitting listening to us plan this event will be much fun for you all, it's not that much fun for me."

"We can man the grill, and when that gets boring I'll entertain in my usual fun party way."

She immediately shakes her head, "don't you dare. Dirty jokes is not going to win over Jim."

I laugh, "you never know maybe the laughter might help remove the giant stick up his ass."