Weirder Things

by Cowboy Alchemist

Patrick Pines and his cousins, twin siblings Dipper and Mabel, are sent to spend the summer with their Great-Uncle Stan in Gravity Falls, Oregon. A town that was anything but normal. Follow Patrick and the twins as they investigate the mysteries of Gravity Falls, a place where paranormal forces, supernatural creatures, and the unexplained have called home.

28. Blendin's Game

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This chapter takes place between Jurassic Pork and Dreamscaperers.

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Prologue

2043

It's hard to believe that even after all these years, the Mystery Shack was still standing in Gravity Falls. It was the beginning of another summer, and as the sun rose up in the sky, a Speedy Beaver came to a stop in the circular dirt parking lot. Its doors swung open, and the passengers on board stepped off the bus, carrying their duffle bags and backpacks.

The first person to step off the bus was 23-year-old Thomas Pines, son of Patrick and Wendy Pines. He was taller than average and was considered by many in the community as a very handsome man. He inherited his father's looks but his mother's red hair, which he kept short and slightly messy, under his mom's lumberjack hat. Thomas normally wore a brown leather jacket with a Mystery Shack's jade greenish-gray shirt with a large dark green question mark on the front. He had a black belt that slung across his chest, black cargo pants, and large grey boots coated in dirt.

As he stepped off the bus, he was holding the hand of his new girlfriend, Johanna. A beautiful woman who was ten years older than him with brown hair that went down past her shoulders and black eyes. She was wearing her maroon turtleneck sweater and brown pants.

Thomas and Johanna first met when he traveled to Scandinavia, to the town of Trolberg to start his own adventures with the paranormal and weirdness. And it was there that he meant Johanna's daughter from her previous marriage, Hilda. At 11 years old, the girl stood out from the crowd with her blue hair with a black beret on top of her head. Around her neck was a yellow scarf, while she wore a red sweater with yellow cuffs, a blue skirt, black leggings, and red rain boots.

The young man was always like a father figure to the little girl, and she was like the daughter he never knew he wanted. When Thomas and Johanna became an official couple, it only reinforced this. That's why he offered to take Johanna and Hilda back with him to Gravity Falls for their summer vacation. They happily agreed and brought along her friends, Alfur, Frida, and Dave.

"Here we are, gang! Welcome to the Mystery Shack in good old Gravity Falls!" Thomas exclaimed, introducing them to the little tourist trap.

The S fell off again.

"That happens more than you think," he told them.

"Wow!" The girls said together in awe, amazed.

"It's so lovely out here," Johanna said, looking at the forest surrounding them with a big smile.

"Uh, should we be standing in the open like this? It's this place supposed to be filled with monsters and scary things?" David asked nervously, looking between the trees of the woods for anything that could be lurking in it. He was a young boy about Hilda's age, but a bit taller than her, with short brown hair and black dot eyes.

"Oh, relax, David. We just go here," Frida said, trying to assure her frightened friend. She was a young girl with black hair with a light brown highlight that was tied in a tail and a brown complexion. "Nothing's gonna happen."

Suddenly, a giant hand reaches out from behind the trees and grabs one of the parked cars. Crushing in under its grip, the hand then pulled the car into the tree. Where the sounds of metal being crushed and ripped apart could be heard.

As this happened, Johanna, Hilda, Frida, David, Twig, and Alfur starred with wide eyes and hanging jaws.

Thomas sighed and facepalmed. "Goddamnit," he muttered before the door behind him opened.

"Thomas?"

The young man turned around and saw his younger sister Stacy walking out of the house. She's a 16-year-old girl with black hair, which she had dyed pink at the end and tied in a ponytail. She had pale skin, black eyes, and on her hands were elbow-length fingerless gloves. Stacy was wearing a black tank top with a teal alien head, green shorts with a teal sweater tied around her waist, and black boots.

"Stacy!" Thomas exclaimed with a big smile. Jogging over, he and his sister hugged one another.

"It's so good to see you again, bro!" Stacy said after pulling away from Thomas. "So, how's your adventure in Trolberg?"

"It's going great! So, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be at your girlfriend's place," he said to Stacy, who was bisexual.

"Jessica was helping her great aunt Shandra move some furniture," she said with a shrug. Stacy then saw the mother and kids. "Oh, you brought guests."

"More than that!" Thomas excitedly walked back over to Johanna and Hilda. He put his arm around his girlfriend and his hand on his daughter figure's head. "Stacy, this is my girlfriend, Johanna. Her daughter, Hilda, and her friends!"

"So you're the famous mom that stole my brother's heart!" Stacy said with a big smile as she walked up to the group. "I have to say, he was right about you being hot."

"Stacy!" Thomas whacked her on the back of his head. Blushing brightly in embarrassment.

"Ow! What!? I'm just saying!"

Johanna blushed as she chuckled a little in embarrassment. "Heh. Uh, hello. I'm Johanna and this is my daughter Hilda."

"Hello!" Hilda said happily, with Twig barking. "Oh, and this is Twig."

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Frida," said the young black girl before gesturing to David. "And this is David."

"H-Hello," David said with a blush.

"And I'm Alfur!" Said the little elf, jumping on Thomas' shoulder. "And I'm here to do an extensive report on this wonderful town!"

"Who said that?" Stacy asked, not able to see the little elf.

"An invisible elf. You're gonna have to sign some papers to see him," Thomas said.

"Oh. Well hi, I'm Stacy! Come on in. Mom and Dad are holding down the fort for Soos and Melody," Stacy said, mentioning for them to follow her into the Mystery Shack. She opened the door and entered the house, with the others following behind her to the living room. Waiting inside the living room was none other than Patrick and Wendy Pines, now in their late 40s. Both were starting to show gray hair, with Patrick growing a small beard. "Mom! Dad! Guess who's here!"

"There's my little oak tree," Wendy said, walking over and giving her son a tight hug. Much to his embarrassment.

"Mom!" Thomas whined as he noticed Johanna giggling a little.

"Hey there, buddy!" Patrick greeted his son after his wife let him go. The older man walked over to his boy and hugged him with a pat on the back. "How are you doing? I heard that you were going to bring guests to stay with us."

"That's right! Mom, dad. This is my girlfriend, Johanna, and her daughter, Hilda," Thomas said, introducing his girlfriend and Hilda to his parents, he then turned to everyone that came with him. "Everyone, these are my parents."

"H-Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you," Johanna said, nervously waving a hand at the parents of her boyfriend. While Thomas told her it was going to be okay, she was still worried about how they'd react to an older woman dating their son. One that just so happened to already have a daughter.

"It's so good to finally meet you!" Wendy said, reaching out and shaking Johanna's hand. Both she and her husband were joyful to finally meet the woman that her son fell in love with. "Thomas has told me all about you and Hilda, and might I say you're absolutely gorgeous."

"Mom!"

"Oh! Well, thank you, Mrs. Pines," Johanna said, smiling with relief while also blushing.

"Oh, please, call me Wendy. And of course, the man himself and my husband, Patrick!" Wendy said, placing a hand on Patrick's shoulder.

"Hey, how's it going? It's a pleasure to you too," Patrick said, shaking Johanna's hand.

Hearing his name, however, filled her blue-haired daughter with excitement. "Patrick Pines?! You're really Thomas's dad?! He's told me all about your adventures!" She exclaimed.

"Really?"

"Is it true that you've time-traveled? Did you really get possessed by a demon? Did you and your family really help save the world?!" Hilda asked with growing excitement.

Johanna pulled her blue-haired daughter back a little. "Hilda. I'm sorry, Patrick. She's just so excited to see you," Johanna said, kneeling down and placing a hand on Hilda's shoulder.

"No, it's okay. Believe me. I've handled rowdier kids in the past," Patrick said, referring to Stacy and even his cousin Mabel when they were both younger. His daughter snickered as he leaned down to Hilda with a cool grin. "Also, I've time-traveled two times."

"Whoa!" Hilda said, amazed. "What was the second time like?"

This made Patrick chuckle a little. Like an unofficial grandpa, Patrick sat down in the recliner as Hilda, Frida, and David sat on the floor with Twig, while Alfur stood on Hilda's shoulder. Johanna, Thomas, Stacy sat down at the table with Wendy as they talked and watched the father tell the story. "Well, you know how you hear the phrase father time? Well, imagine a Time-Baby!"

"Really?" The kids asked with wonder.

"Really. We were only in the future for maybe a few seconds the first time. Now for the second time, it was after we found the pterodactyl in the mines and before we first met Bill. But it really began in the year 207̃~012...I wish I was making that number up."

End of Prologue

---

207~012

In the far distant future, there was a prison known as the Infinetentiary, where those who have broken the laws of time are locked up. Just as its name states, it's in the shape of the infinity symbol. Its sides are rimmed with a glowing silvery blue. Next to it was a large sign reading "INFINETENTIARY" and two red beacons, composed of impossible triangles. It's located near a crumbling moon of an unknown planet.

No man's ever gotten out alive. Until today.

Suddenly the alarms of the prison went off, signaling the escape of a convict. Police choppers flew over a dystopian city as the very same prison that escaped ran down in the slums. Wearing a cloak, he ran as the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron chased after him. Leading the squad were Lolph and Dundgren.

"I've got to hand it to this perp, no one's broken out of the Infinitentiary before," Dundgren said.

"He's either the bravest time convict I've ever seen, or the dumbest," added Lolph.

The convict looked behind his shoulder to see the officers gaining on him. So he turned to the left, only to run straight into a wall. "Ow!" He yelled, with a voice that was oddly familiar. The prisoner stumbled into barrels and fell over causing his hood to come off and revealing him to be none other than Blendin. "Oh! My time-knee! Oh, time-dang it!" He said, holding his knee, before noticing that Lolph and Dundgren had caught up to him.

"Definitely the dumbest," said Dundgren, pointing his gun at Blendin.

"Freeze! You're surrounded by the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron!" Lolph said as Blendin became surrounded. "Anything you say can and already has been used against you in future court."

Dundgren pulled out a pair of energy cuffs. "This is it, Blendin. End of the timeline. Any last words?"

With his time having run out and his escape having failed, Blendin tried looking around for another opinion as he stammered. "Uh-uh-uh-uh-I-I-I-I... I INVOKE GLOBNAR!"

This shocked everyone, from the spectators to even the officers. "Very well, speak the name and century of those accused," Dundgren said, pulling out a tablet.

"The one that ruined my life: Patrick Pines. 21st century," Blenden stated. Dundgren's tablet searched up the name and century, before finding a clip of Patrick playing his saxophone on a stage at the Mystery Shack. The clip was then shown on every screen in the city, with the words "GLOBNAR TRIBUTES" over it.

"So be it," Lolph said as Patrick's performance came to an end and the crowd cheered for him. "May Time Baby have mercy on his souls."

---

{Play Stranger Things theme by Kyle Dixon Michael Stein}

The intro begins by fading in a scene of the road sign that said: "Welcome to Gravity Falls, Oregon."

We then see a view of the town of Gravity Falls, with the strangely shaped canyons in the background, and the sun going down between the two land formations. As the sun was setting, the day turned to a blue night. However, a sinister red light comes from over the horizon. Shining between the canyon.

The next scene is of a large, dinosaur footprint in the ground. It then changed to show the trees of the forest at night, and a pair of glowing eyes staring at the viewer, before the camera switched to a wider shot and showed many more eyes staring at the viewer. The next scene was a far back show of two men dumping a body into the lake, and as that body sank down it was swallowed by a massive creature.

PATRICK

The teenage Pines is shown in a freeze shot of him walking in the woods with a lantern and his crowbar in hand. Behind him, Bill's eye in the sky looked down at him.

DIPPER

The male twin is looking down at the journal with a flashlight. Not noticing that there was a Pteranodon staring down at him, ready to eat him.

MABEL

The female twin is the final one to be seen, and it showed her wearing a sweater that lit up because it was plugged into an outlet. But in another, farther away shot showed Gideon's hand controlling her like she was a marionette.

The finale of the intro shows the Mystery Shack as the sun goes down behind it and the trees of the forest. When the sun went down and the night came, and just like the beginning, the red light appeared, but then a blue light shined from inside the Mystery Shack.

Then the screen went black and the title of the story appeared in a flash of light.

WEIRDER THINGS

It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared.

Chapter: Twenty-Eight

Blendin's Game

---

2012

Patrick Pines was having a great day today. Not only did he get to perform on stage for the Mystery Shack to make some more money, but his crush Wendy had come out to see him perform. Now she was back to working at the Mystery Shack after the horrific events of her werewolf curse. Things were finally calming down and with the money he himself made from tips from the show, Patrick decided to treat himself and his cousins to some treats. And it just happened that the vending machine was stocked that day.

So, he slid a dollar bill into the machine and pressed the buttons for the first selection. A bag of Yumber Jacks for the twins. He then pressed the enter button and the machine started. The teen waited patiently as the twins eagerly anticipated the candy.

"Candy! Candy! Candy!" Dipper and Mabel chanted together, only for the candy to get stuck on the ring before it could drop. Much to the kids' alarm and chagrin.

"Oh, come on!" Patrick complained, banging on the machine to get it unstuck, but it didn't work.

"No! It's trapped!" Dipper exclaimed in dismay.

"Everything is terrible forever!" Mabel wailed, pressing her face against the glass.

"Psst. Hey, dudes!" Soos suddenly interjected, having walked past the cousins, and decided to help out. "You wanna know a trick?" With a sly smile, the handyman started rhythmically hitting the vending machine. "Bibbity-boop. Wop!" He gave the edge a good hit with his elbow, and to the amazement of the others, caused the vending machine to swing open.

"Whoa! Soos, how'd you do that?" Patrick exclaimed with an impressed smile.

"A genius taught me that once," said the older man as he reached in and grabbed an armful of candy from the machine. "This just in: weather stations are calling for a... candy blizzard!" He threw the candy on them, with most of the treats landing in their outstretched arms while a few landed on the floor.

"Forget taking off the wrappers! I'm eating these now!" Mabel exclaimed, stuffing her handfuls of unwrapped candy into her mouth and ran off.

"No, Mabel!" Patrick yelled, dropping his candy and running after her.

"Soos, you are the greatest human ever to live," Dipper said with a sincere smile.

"Agh! Oh!" Mabel cried as she started choking. "That was a mistake!" Patrick rushed over and started performing the Heimlich maneuver. Getting the candy dislodged from her throat.

"Hey, no sweat, dude," Soos said, closing the vending machine and putting some spare money in the machine. "I'd do anything for the Pines family."

"Soos!" Stan cried out from the den. "I need to scratch myself in two places at once!"

"Just do it yourself!" Patrick yelled back.

"I don't want to! I'd rather he do!"

"Like I said, anything! Coming Mr. Pines!" Soos called and walked out of the room.

"Hack! Haw!" Mabel hit herself in the stomach and spat up the last of the candy from her throat. Patrick was there to rub her back. "I'm good," she said with a strained voice.

At the same time, Dipper noticed that Soos' wallet was left on the table. "Whoa! Better make sure he gets his wallet back."

"Wait!" Mabel rushed over, back to normal. "I've never seen Soos' wallet before. Don't you wanna learn some Soos secrets?"

"I don't know, you two," Patrick said, walking over to them. "This is sort of like invading his privacy-"

"Wo-oah!" Dipper exclaimed, cutting his cousin off when he took out a membership card from the wallet. "Soos has a membership to Laser Tag? Ha ha, I didn't know they let grown-ups in there."

"And look." Mabel reached over and pulled out a dirty-looking slice of salami with a sticky note that says, "emergency". "Emergency salami! Soos, my respect for you has grown."

"Yeah, I wouldn't eat that, Mabel," Patrick said with a frown. But seeing how his cousins were already digging into Soos's wallet, he decided to join in. Reaching into the wallet, Patrick pulled out the first thing he got his hands on. Which just so happened to be his driver's license. "'Jésus Alzamirano Ramirez. Organ donor. Birthday: July 13th'...wait, isn't that today?"

"Woah…" Mabel gasped as Patrick showed them the card.

"That's weird. I wonder why he didn't tell anyone," Dipper wondered.

"Uh-duh! It's probably because he wants someone to throw him a surprise party; I can relate. I've been waiting for a surprise party my whole life," Mabel explained

"Surprise!" exclaimed her friend Candy, running up behind her and cheerfully threw confetti onto her.

Mabel turned around and gave her an unimpressed glare. "Too little, too late, Chiu."

"Awww." Candy sighed, disappointed as she sulked.

Patrick looked at the driver's license with an expression of uncertainty. "I don't know, guys. Maybe we should leave this alone…" He looked up to see Dipper and Mabel gone and were running out of the gift shop outside. Patrick sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why do I even bother?"

---

Despite the short time they had, the cousins and Mabel's friends were able to quickly draw up party plans and get to work on setting up everything for the party. When Patrick came back with the pizza, he was met with the sight of their handy work and was impressed. They only started an hour ago, and the party looked very promising with tables that had snacks and pizza. Balloons and streamers hung from the surrounding trees, and bright confetti sprinkled all over the ground.

As he set the cake down on the table, he looked up to see Grenda painting a sign that said "IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY YO!"

"More exclamation points! More I say!" Mabel shouted at her.

"Wow, you guys thought of everything!" Grenada said with a wide smile,

"Yeah, you two really knocked it out of the park," Patrick said, impressed as he placed down the boxes of pizza on the table.

"Of course. Twins are born birthday experts," Mabel explained, sharing a confident grin with her brother.

"We've shared every birthday together, so we know how to make them perfect," Dipper said with a nod. The twins then high-fived, touched heels, and blew party blowers simultaneously. Patrick laughed, knowing they were right. Having been to their birthdays, he's seen the crazy parties they threw for him on his birthdays.

He then heard footsteps from around the corner of the Shack. "Alright, places everyone! They're coming," he exclaimed and they all rushed to hide behind the snack table.

"Everyone be QUIET!" Grenada exclaimed.

A second later, Soos came walking around the corner of the Shack with a blindfold on, while Candy led him towards the party. "Alright, you promised a giant hummingbird, so I'm expecting to see a giant hummingbird," the handyman said, with an eager grin. Completely obvious as to where he was being taken to.

Candy stopped him. "Three, two, one…" she then yanked the blindfold off and allowed him to see the party.

"Huh?" He gasped, somewhat alarmed as his smile dropped.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone shouted happily as they jumped out from behind the table.

"Happy birthday, you king on Earth!" Mabel exclaimed with a big bright grin on her face as they walked over to the stunned handyman. "We got everything you love. Cake-flavored pizza, pizza-flavored cake, and one more treat…" Mabel led him to a small stage that was labeled 'Razzle-Dazzler'. Patrick pulled back the curtains to reveal Toby Determined in a red sequined leotard with a big sparkly blue bow, tap dancing in a painfully awkward way.

"Razzle dazzle, friends! It's the Razz-dazzler! This is what my life has become," he said.

"So sad," Patrick said under his breath.

"I... I…" Soos stuttered in an attempt to speak up. Growing more and more unease with each second.

"Quick! Everyone pose for the birthday smiles memory album!" Mabel exclaimed as all the kids rushed around the handyman.

Patrick grinned as he pulled out the camera and aimed it at the group. But when he focused the camera to take the shout, he finally noticed that while everyone was smiling, Soo was not. The person whose birthday was today was frowning miserably. Lowing the camera, Patrick looked at his friend with concern.

"Soos? What's wrong? Is everything okay," he asked, worriedly. This got the others' attention and they realized that the handyman wasn't enjoying his birthday.

"It's uh. It's nothing," Soos quickly assured, even though his deeply upset expression told them that was a lie. "I, uh. I gotta go fix a pipe or something." He quickly turned and walked away with fists clenched, head down and eyes closed. Walking around the corner of the Mystery Shack.

A second later, Wendy and Stan happened to walk in from around the same corner, staring at Soos. Both confused and a little concerned. "Hey, did you guys see Soos?" the red-haired cashier asked, having come back to work after recovering from the werewolf incident. "What happened to-?" she stopped when she saw the party. Eyes growing with an alarmed look with Stan. "Oh no. Oh no, no."

"What? What's wrong?" Patrick asked his crush, running up to her with a sense of urgency. The two twins walked over too. "Was it something we did?"

"Yes, but look, you guys didn't know so it's not your fault," Wendy explained to him. "The thing is Soos hates his birthday."

"What?" the cousins asked in bewilderment

"Why?" Patrick asked, not understanding how someone like Soos would despise his own birthday.

"It's a total mystery," Wendy told her crush with a shrug. "I guess he's been like this since he was a kid. Some weird personal biz."

"There's gotta be something we can do!" Mabel protested.

"We've tried everything," Wendy said.

"I even petitioned the government to have this day removed from calendars. Now I'm not allowed on airplanes," Stan explained, holding up a mugshot of himself stamped 'BANNED' and marked 'DANGER FLIGHT RISK'.

Patrick wasn't surprised by this, but was still confused about why it got him banned from flights. But right now that wasn't important. He peeked sound at the corner with his cousins to see Soos sitting on the porch steps morosely. Soos pulled out a postcard that said 'Hello! from New Orleans' on it. He sighed sadly and hung his head down with his eyes closed.

"We really messed up, dudes," he said, turning to the others. "Soos is miserable and it's all our fault! We've gotta fix this."

"I don't know, guys," Wendy said, somewhat doubtful. "Maybe we should just leave him alone, you know?"

"No one should be alone on their birthday. There's gotta be a way to cheer him up. We just have to try harder," Dipper said with determination.

"You're right, Dipper!" Mabel exclaimed with a newfound enthusiasm. "It's time for us to bring out the big guns!"

---

The 'big guns' was none other than some good old-fashioned lazy tag at Big Gunz Laser Tag, in downtown Gravity Falls. After blindfolding Soos again, Patrick, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Wendy, Candy, and Grenda got out of the car and walked in. All of them wanted to join in on helping give the handyman a good birthday, even if he hated it.

"Alright, guys," Soos began as he was unknowingly led into the building. "Blindfold me once, shame on you. Blindfold me twice- wait a minute." Soos cut himself off as he started to notice the sounds, feels, and smells of his surroundings. "Hot dog smell? Sticky floors? Future sounds?" Curiosity got the better of him and Soos took off blindfolded. He let out a surprised and excited gasp when he saw he was inside the Big Gunz. He looked up at the bright neon lights and retro fonts of the sign. "Laser tag? I-I love laser tag. How'd you guys know?"

"Um, we definitely didn't rifle through your wallet?" Mabel awkwardly laughed.

"Look, we felt bad for making you upset earlier and wanted to make it up to you," Patrick said with a smile before the tv behind him turned on and the announcer started speaking.

"Welcome to the year 8000. Society: collapsed. Fog machines: everywhere." The laser tag announcer said in a bold voice, showing a fake scene of a destroyed city.

"Are these walls just mattresses spray painted purple?" Wendy questioned, pushing her hand on the mattress-covered wall.

"Think this place used to be a mattress store," Stan said, glancing around the place.

The first game was a free-for-all match, so the Pines, Wendy, Soos, Candy, and Grenda got in their gear for battle like everyone else. Since he knew that his weapons wouldn't fit with the vest on, Patrick had left them at home. After all, this was a day to have fun. After getting on his vest, he grabbed his gun and waited with everyone by the entrance for the alarm to sound,

"I-I don't know, guys. I'm not sure I'm up to this today," Soos said, unsure about the game.

"Aw, come on, Soos. We'll do one round and see how it goes," Mabel said.

"Don't worry, Soos. As soon as you start playing with us, you're gonna have a great time," Dipper said with an assured smile.

"I know! Why don't the two of us team up?" Patrick smiled, pointing to himself and Soos. "I promise, no matter what happens, I won't leave your side."

Soos hesitated for a moment as he stared at Patrick, before cracking a small smile. "Well...I guess I could give it a shot."

"Ah, yeah! Let's ice these fools!" Patrick exclaimed with a grin as the doors to the area began to open.

"Prepare for laser battle!" the announcer exclaimed boldly. "In three, two…" The billboard let out a buzzer sound as it said to "GO!"

The doors swung open as Grenda, Candy, Wendy, Stan, and the twins rushed into the fog-covered arena with cheers of excitement. Patrick was about to run in but stopped when he noticed Soos wasn't moving. "Soos! Come on!"

"Wu-oh. Go on ahead, dude!" Soos said, bending down to tie his shoelaces. "Better tie down these cowboys."

"Alright, see you in there!" Patrick exclaimed, looking behind at Soos as he ran forward, but suddenly the entrance was transformed into a portal gateway. So when Patrick turned back around, he stopped in his tracks. Taken aback by the sudden and abrupt change to the arena. Instead of a dark room with fog machines and illuminating lights, he found himself in a brightly lit white space, which was oddly empty and devoid of any barriers for cover.

"Huh, this is...odd," Patrick said, looking around the space he was in. Though admittedly, it was pretty cool. Better than what he imagined. He then noticed two oddly familiar-looking, muscular men clad in highly technological armor. Not knowing they were Lolph and Dundgren. "Woah. These laser guys are so realistic!"

Getting a mischievous idea, Patrick decided to test their durability.

"Finish him! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!" He kicked Lolph multiple times in his armored crotch. Patrick laughed, still thinking it was fake. That was until the crotch piece lit up and started talking in a robotic voice.

"Kick deflected! Thank you for buying Digi-cod: the smart codpiece!"

"Wait, what?" Patrick questioned in bewilderment before looking up. Only to see the two men glaring right at him.

"HOLY CRAP, YOU'RE REAL!" He yelled. Startled, Patrick turned around and saw the portal closing behind him, with Soos still in the lobby. Patrick then saw that the exit was beginning to close. "Oh no! Soos!" He ran towards the exit, only ran straight into the wall when the portal closed and fell back.

"Ow…" Patrick groaned and rubbed his head. Seeing that he was still in the white space, he dropped his fake gun and rammed his body against the wall. He kicked and punched at it, before turning grab at the smooth surface. He groaned while struggling to get it to open back up.

"Nice try," said a squeaky voice. It was Lolph, after getting kicked in the crotch multiple times. He quickly cleared his throat to get his voice back to normal. "Nice try. But that's solid time-tanium, kid!

"Time-what? I don't care, just let me out of here," Patrick yelled at the stoic pair, pointing at the wall.

"That's not going to happen," Dundgren said coldly. "There's only one way out of here!"

"Through me!"

Patrick turned his head towards the vaguely familiar voice and was shocked to see it was the time-traveler, Blendin. But it was only his head and hands that were visible, thanks to his camouflaging suit. "Oh, uh…" He started to fiddle with his wristwatch in an attempt to get it to work. But all it did was cause his uniform to alternate through sceneries. Patrick stared at him in mild confusion. "Sorry... C-come on…" he punched the watch in frustration, which was able to get his uniform to turn back to his normal gray suit. "Through me!... And that's...what it would be like if I'd just...gotten it right the very first chance, but it's still as effective."

Still confused, Patrick examined the bald man closer before he suddenly remembered. "Wait, you're the time traveler guy from the carnival!" He gasped in shock. "...What did you say your name was again? Blender?"

This seemed to throw the time traveler off. "What? Seriously? You don't remember my name after I told you?"

Patrick thought for a moment. "Blendo, right?"

"No."

"Blondin?"

"No!"

"Is your nickname Morty?"

"NO!" He shouted, getting more and more enraged.

Patrick thought again for a moment before snapping his fingers. "Now I remember! Blar-blar! Final answer." He said with confidence.

"IT'S BLENDIN!" Blendin screamed at him, beyond furious at this point. "Blendin Blenjamin Blandin! How could you not know my name after you ruined my life?!"

"How did I ruin your life? All I did was borrow your time machine," Patrick said, confused.

"That's exactly the reason why! Initiate flashback!" Blendin shouted, pressing a button on his wristwatch, and a holographic screen was projected as the disgraced time traveler narrated. "It was after you stole my time device to win your cousin that stupid pig! I was cast out of the Time Anomaly Removal Crew; my whole life's purpose. And then I was given ten squared life sentences in time prison. I've spent every day since then planning my vengeance. To destroy the one who ruined my life!" He turned off the watch and grinning menacingly. "And now finally, it has come!"

"Look, Blendin, I'm sorry about all that. Really, I am. But I'm kinda in the middle of something really important right now," Patrick said urgently. "It's my friend's birthday today, and I promised I wouldn't leave his side! So, let's just, you, bury the hatchet."

"What?!" Blendin asked with a scoff. "You think some dumb birthday matters right now? Do you know where you are? Welcome...to Globnar!" He pointed at the far end of the room, which opened to show Patrick what awaited him. What he saw made his jaw drop.

The room led to a giant, futuristic arena that was far more advanced and dangerous than anything he's ever seen before. In the arena were events taking place for the amusement of the massive audience cheering in the stands. Events like combatants falling through portals, being set on fire, fighting a glob monster, battling on a moving clock, and fighting one another with age-altering weapons. All of them are quite violent and horrific on their own, with many warriors dying. All enough to set Patrick on edge even more than he was before.

"Wait, what does Globnar even mean? That sounds made up." Patrick remarked.

"It's mean gladiatorial time combat!" Blendin yelled angrily at him, pointing at a man in a green future suit falling down after being defeated. His opponent was lifted up by a stone pedestal and a glowing, semi-transparent, golden orb appeared in his hand, which contained a bright yellow hourglass symbol, surrounded by sparks. "The winner gets a precious Time Wish, and then decides the loser's fate!"

"N-n-no! Please!" The loser pleaded, trembling with fear. The winner helds up a thumbs-up, then changed it to thumbs-down with a grim smile. Patrick watched in horror as the loser was disintegrated on the spot, screaming in agony. The ashes of his body were vacuumed away by a purple beam of light.

"And you are officially challenged!" Blendin proclaimed, smirking at the shocked teenager. He then walked off. "Dundgren! Get me my war-paint."

"Oh, this is bad. This is bad," Patrick said to himself. It was really bad. It's as bad as anything he's been through this summer. He was stuck in the future and was about to fight to the death. Patrick had to get out of there and get back to his own time. He paced around the seemingly impenetrable room. "Lemme think. Lemme think," he said to himself.

He looked at Lolph, who stood guard at the entryway into the arena. At first, the teenager wondered if he could really fight off him and others. But then he noticed a tape measurer on his belt. Patrick suddenly remembered that it was the same type of time machine Blendin had when he met him. As an idea started formulating in his head, Patrick's face grew a look of determination. "Hang in there Soos, I'm coming for you."

After a few seconds and making sure that Blendin was distracted with his war paint, Patrick put his plan into action. Taking a deep breath, he walked up to Lolph and cleared his throat, gaining the muscular man's attention.

"Well, bust my chops!" Patrick gasped overdramatically. "Could it be? My little, uh-hum…" he trailed off, taking a second to look at Lolph's name tag. "Lolphie! It's me! Your grandfather from the 21st century! I never thought I would get to live to see you become a man."

For a moment, Lolph stared at Patrick menacingly, making Patrick sweat a bit. Thinking there was no way this guy was going to fall for this. But sure enough, Lolph ended up believing him as his expression lit up with a warm smile. "Pop-Pop?"

Patrick was a little surprised but relieved as he held out his arms for a hug. The future officer was more than happy to accept and pulled Patrick into an almost bone-crushing hug. "That's it, give Pop Pop some sugar," he said with his eyes closed, smiling happily. But then Patrick slightly opened his eyes with a look of deceit. "Forgive me…" he whispered, reaching down and taking the time device from Lolph's belt.

"Yeah, neon green is good, this is a good color for me," Blendin said as Dundgren painted the warpaint on Blendin's face. "It's fierce-Who? What? No!" He yelled when he noticed Patrick taking the travel machine off Lolph's belt. This startled Lolph enough to let go of Patrick, and the teenager used that moment to kick Lolph in the chest. Sending him into the energy bars of the exit and zapping him. "You can't let him escape! Stop him!"

Patrick bolted out of there when Blendin dove to grab, but ended up tripping Dundgren, who also tried to jump at the teenager.

"Pop Pop!" Lolph called after Patrick, feeling shocked and betrayed. "How could you?!"

"I ain't no one's Pop Pop, sucka!" Patrick exclaimed triumphantly.

"Noooo!" Dundgren and Blendin cried out.

As he ran, Patrick fumbled with the time machine to get it to his present time and back to Soos' birthday. Getting it set for July 13, Patrick pulled out the tape from the measure somewhat haphazardly. Not having the time to figure out how it worked again. Still confident, Patrick pushed the button and the tape snapped back into the device. Patrick's body disappeared from the future right and was sent back in time.

---

When Patrick reappeared, he was in midair and started falling to earth. He screamed while falling, but his body ended up landing on a mattress. Groaning from the surprisingly soft landing, Patrick sat up and asked himself, "Did it work?"

But when he looked around, he saw that he wasn't in the laser tag joint. Instead, he was in a messy store with a space-like theme to it. There were mattresses lying around, along with several mattress sets. The man who worked the register looked bored, and there weren't many people in the store. The store planet and star ornaments hanging from the ceiling and a matching rug theme. Looking up at the store's indoor sign, Patrick remembered what Stan said.

"Oh, man! I went back too far. The laser place is still a mattress store!" He looked around for the time machine.

But before he could find it, Blendin, Lolph, and Dundgren appeared from the future to his exact time and location. Patrick duck under the bed as the three men landed on one close by. Blendin's escorts looked around for the teenager as Patrick listened in on their conversation.

"It looks like he overshot their destination by 10 years," Dundgren reported.

"I don't see them," Blendin said in handcuffs, wiping off his face paint. "You better find him!"

"You'll get your justice, Blendin," assured Lolph.

"I'm gonna keep stammering until you find him!" the disgraced time travel exclaimed. At first, Patrick didn't think he was serious, until Blendin hopped off the mattress and did just that. "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I...!"

"I hate that guy," Lolph said when Blendin walked out of the store.

"Let's move," Dundgren said.

The two partners performed an impressive jump and flip over the mattresses, before landing in front of the door. They then fist-bumped, before they walked out the door and followed Blendin. Patrick waited to make sure they were gone, before sighing in relief. But then he gasped when he noticed the time machine lying on the ground nearby. He grabbed in and crawled out from under the bed.

"Oh no, no, no," he said fretfully when seeing it was dented and radiating blue electricity. Patrick tried to pull the tap out of the device. However, it wouldn't come out. "Shit!"

Sitting down on the bed, Patrick looked it over and tried to figure out how to fix this mess. "Okay, I've just got to get this thing fixed to go forward 10 years," he said, somewhat uncertain. Really wishing that Dipper was there for this. "I can be back before Soos or the others even realize I'm gone. But I need some tools."

Patrick looked around for anything that could give him some help as to where he could find the tools he needed. That's when he noticed a sign that read "MYSTERY SHACK 1 mile".

"Bingo!" He said, pocketing the time machine. All he had to do was try and lay low so he didn't change the future. Or cause the future. He honestly gave up on trying to figure out how time travel worked exactly.

Walking out of the store, Patrick walked down the street, taking in the somewhat amazing sights all around him. While most of Main Street was relatively the same, with the buildings and businesses remaining where they are in the future, it was the people that have changed and were much younger looking. Tyler was listening to a boom box mounted on his shoulder, Sheriff Blubs had an afro, and Tats was getting his first tattoo. There was even a billboard showing Bud Gleeful and a baby Gideon and reads: "BUD'S AUTO JUST HAD A BABY". However, what was most definitely Stan's doing, the billboard was graffiti-ed with red paint. "Baby" is crossed off and replaced with "demon," Gideon was given horns, a tail, and a demon trident, and Bud had a curly mustache.

"So this is 2002," Patrick remarked, as a young Robbie chased a young Thompson, spraying him with a water gun. Some much has changed, but some much has remained the same.

As the teenager from the future was about to turn the corner, he passed by a dance studio. Looking inside, he saw Toby Determined hard at work training to be a dancer. "A dah buh dee, dah buh dee do, yeah!" Toby sang, happily tap dancing in his ugly leotard. "Look out Broadway, here I come!"

Having watched the whole display, Patrick felt it was his duty to tell him. So, he banged on the glass to get Toby's attention. "Toby! I have to tell you about the future! This dream goes nowhere!" He yelled.

"Awww, marbles!" Toby sighed in disappointment.

Patrick continued down the sidewalk and turned the corner. Caught up in the sightseeing, he didn't notice when two tricycles came speeding towards him. While one of them managed to come to a screeching stop right in front of him, the other wasn't able to and rammed Patrick in the leg. "Augh!" He let out a cry and fell to the ground. Holding his ankle for a moment until the pain went away.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, mister!" Said a young girl's voice. The rider got off her tricycle and walked up to him.

"It's fine," Patrick said, looking at the girl. Only for his eyes to widen in shock.

Standing in front of him was his future crush, Wendy. She was now five years old, with her familiar colored hair done in two pigtails. She was wearing green overalls with a white blouse under it, and red boots. On her head was a yellow helmet.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Oh! Yeah, I'm fine," Patrick said, quickly standing back up after snapping out of it.

"Oops, sorry," said the other girl, who was 5-year old Tambry. Wendy backed away from Patrick and whispered something into Tambry's ear. Immediately, the purple-haired girl pointed at the teenager. "My friend thinks you're cute."

"Oh-my-gosh, Tambry!" Wendy exclaimed hotly, pushing Tambry off her tricycle. "Shut up!"

"Ow! Hey!" Tambry cried.

Patrick's cheeks blushed and he nervously laughed. On one hand, he was somewhat flattered that the younger version of his crush thought he was cute. But at the same time, Wendy was just 5 years old, so he didn't really know what to think. "Uh, thank you...I'm flatter. I mean... you're super young, so this is weird," he said, trying not to be a creep. "Anyways, I better get to the Mystery Shack, so…"

"Uh, I can take you there," Wendy said, surprising the young man.

"No, no, it's okay. You're dad's probably wondering where you are," he said.

"It's okay. I know that way," said the young redhead, jumping back onto her tricycle and turning it into the direction of the shack. "Come on! I'll take you there!"

"Wait, what about the party?" Tambry asked.

"It'll only take a moment. I'll be there," Wendy said, before riding off. "Come on, stranger!" Seeing that he wasn't going to talk her out of it, Patrick jogged after his future crush. As he walked alongside her, Patrick noticed her looking up at him. "So...what's your name?"

"Uh, Patrick," he said honestly.

"I'm Wendy," she said with a pleasant smile.

---

The two were able to make it to the Mystery Shack without running into any more trouble. Patrick and young Wendy hid behind a tree, peeking around the corner to see Stan giving a tour of the cursed wax museum. "Alright, I've just got to figure out a way in there without alerting him," Patrick said, taking off his laser tag vest.

Wendy took off her helmet and placed it on her tricycle. "I know a way in. Follow me!" She said, before suddenly rushing over to the shack.

"Wait, Wendy!" Patrick silently yelled, before going after her. The two ran over to the gift shop's window. Patrick opened the window, picked up Wendy, and set her inside the house. He was about to go in himself when he felt something nuzzling his leg. He looked down and saw it was Gompers, who was an absolutely adorable baby goat. Patrick smiled and patted him on the head. Then he climbed into the window.

"So, what are you looking for?" Wendy asked, looking around the store.

"I'm looking for...Hah! Bingo!" Patrick exclaimed when he saw the toolbox. "Alright, let's see…" Despite his limited knowledge of future technology, he started working to get the travel device repaired. But before he could unscrew the cover, another person's voice got his attention.

"Ah, c'mon candy. Fall. Fall," said a boy with a birthday hat. He looked to be around Dipper and Mabel's age and was standing in front of the vending machine. He banged on the glass, but his snack remained stuck.

Glancing down at the time machine, Patrick figured he could help out the kid and then get back to fixing. Pocketing the screwdriver and the tape measure, he approached the poor kid. "Allow me," he said with a grin. The boy stepped back as Patrick walked up to the side of the machine. "You just need to know a guy on the inside. Bippidy-boop. Wop!" Copying Soos' method, Patrick opened the vending machine. Reaching in and grabbing some candy for the young boy. "Jackpot!" Patrick turned to face him and gave him the candy. Only to gasp when he realized who it was.

It was none other than 12-year-old Soos Ramirez, who smiled warmly at Patrick with a party hat on his head. "Thanks, dawg," he said, holding out his hand and taking candy. "You must be some kind of genius."

"Hey, Soos!" Wendy said, walking over to them. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks, Wendy," Soos said with a grin. This surprised Patrick again, thinking that Soos would have been upset with being wished that. "This genius taught me how to open the candy machine."

"Really, Patrick?"

Realizing that they were talking about him, Patrick snapped out of it and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, no. It was nothing," he said modestly.

"Mi precioso!" A younger, albeit still elderly, Abuelita walked into the shack. "You keep wandering off. You don't want to be late for your big day," she said, taking his hand

"Sorry, Abuelita," Soos apologized. But then he thought of something. "Oh! Can I invite Wendy's new friend to my party too? He's a genius."

"Only if he's okay with it," Abueltia said with a kind smile. Wendy looked at Patrick with a hopeful grin. This took Patrick back a little. Not expecting to be invited to his best friend's birthday 10 years in the past. He should say that he should be going or something to decline Soos's offer.

But then it hit him. He remembered what Wendy from his time said about Soos and his birthday. This could be the birthday where that personal biz went down. If he went with them to the part, he could finally find out why Soos hates his birthday. And maybe once he found out what went wrong, he could prevent it. Fixing all of Soos' birthdays in the future. Then again, doing so could have catastrophic results in the future.

"Alright, but I'll only be able to stay for a little bit," he said with a smile.

"Yay!" Soos cheered.

---

Minutes later, Patrick and Wendy both followed Soos and his Abuelita to their house, where the birthday party was being held in the backyard. Even at first glance, it was quite the party. Colorful decorations and balloons were everywhere, with almost all the kinds in Gravity Falls coming out for the occasion. Most were around Soos' age, and some younger like Wendy, Tambry, Thompson, and Robbie. And then there was Patrick, who was the only teenager at the party.

Standing a few feet away and leaning on the wall of the house, Patrick watched the party with a cup of juice in his hand. He was mainly keeping an eye on young Soos, who was mostly in high spirits, while being teased two young woman who looked to be 3 to 5 years older than him

"Who's a handsome birthday boy?" The first one asked as she playfully pinched Soos' cheeks.

"It's you!" The other said, just as brightly both the two girls headed off. But as they passed by Patrick, they both gave him seductive looks and winked at him. Walking off with a sway in their hips. Patrick blushed brightly with embarrassment, and took a sip of his drink. He quickly snapped out of it when Abuelita chuckled, carrying a large box to the table.

"Soos, you are such a lady's man," she teased him.

"They're my cousins, grandma! Gross." Soos jokingly stuck out his tongue. And that just added to the awkward factor for Patrick.

"Look, mijo. I got you a racecar cake," the old woman said, opening the box to reveal a delicious looking cake

"Let me help you with that," Patrick said, taking the box from Abuelita and setting it down on the table.

"Oh, thank you, dear," Abuelita said with a grateful smile. "I'll go get the candle and lighter. If you could please set up the plates and forks for everyone, I'd really appreciate it."

"Lo tienes, señora," Patrick said, trying out some spanish he learned. This surprised Abuelita, before she giggled and walked off. As he started setting up the plates and forks for the guest, Patrick started whispering to himself. "Man, I don't know why Soos hates his birthdays, this is great."

After Patrick set out the plates and forks, he sat down at the head of the table while Soos was licking the frosting off of the racecar. When he saw this, the young boy said, "Uh, sorry dude, but could you move seats? That's the seat of honor."

"Oh, sorry," Patrick said, getting out of the chair. "Was this your chair?"

"Oh, heh. It's for my dad actually," Soos said, smiling fondly.

Patrick blinked. "Your...dad?" He asked, puzzled.

"Yep. I haven't seen him in like... eight years. But he's coming today!" Soos explained, before they both heard the front doorbell rang. "That must be him!" He excitedly wiped the frosting off his face, rearranged his party hat, and ran to the door. With a look of concern and curiosity, Patrick followed Soos inside his home.

Not knowing that the screwdriver fell out of his pocket.

He stopped just at the doorway to the living room and stood there to watch. Standing in front of the door, where the silhouette of a man could be seen through the glass, the future handyman breathed in and out. "Alright Soos. Today's the big day. Be cool. Be. Cool," he told himself. Steeling his resolve once more, Soos put on the biggest smile he could muster and opened the door to greet his dad. He's been waiting for years, dreaming and hoping to finally come face-to-face with him.

But once again, his father didn't even show up.

"Postcard for...Soos," the postman at the door said, handing over the card to the confused boy before walking off.

Patrick approached the young boy and gasped when he saw it was the 'Hello! from New Orleans' card, the same postcard present Soos was holding earlier. Young Soos looked down at it and frowned as he turned it over and read the backside. "'Sorry, champ. Couldn't make it this year. Real busy again. See you next year for sure. Dad.'"

As he looked at Soos with a sympathetic expression, Patrick noticed that Abuelita and Soos' cousin Reggie were listening with him. Reggie walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, don't sweat it, cuz. You'll see him next year."

"Heh, yeah. Next year." Soos remarked disappointedly as he walked around his cousin and kneeled down at a table. Under it was a small showbox, which he pulled out and opened.

When he saw it in that box, the full weight of the situation was unveiled to Patrick, and it hit his heart like a sledgehammer. The shoebox was filled with countless other postcards that Soos' father had sent him in the past. All from different places around the USA. Some of them were on their fronts, showing they were from Massachusetts, New York, Texas and Arizona. The other half were on their backs, showing that each and every one of those cards had the exact same message. A message that was indifferent and nothing but an empty apology and a false promise. All of them came from a father that has willfully abandoned his child.

And now, Soos had another postcard to add to the box. He closed it and picked it up. "Uh, I'm gonna go lay down. You party without me dudes," he sadly said, walking away to his room.

"Wait! What about your presents?" Abuelite asked, picking up a wrapped present and pushing a key through the paper, which made a "Yayah!" similar to Soos' keyboard machine. But it wasn't enough to get the depressed boy to stick around.

As he watched young Soos walk into his room and slam the door behind him, Patrick finally understood why he hated his birthday. This was the day he realized his day wasn't coming back.

"Ay, Soos' father is a deadbeat!" Abuelita shouted fiercely. After all the heartbreaks and disappointments her grandson has gone through for eight years in a row, the old woman has had enough of it. "¡Si ese hijo de puta vuelve a mostrar la cara aquí, ¡le volaré la cabeza con la escopeta!"

Translation: "If that son of a bitch ever shows his face here again, I'll blow his fucking head off with the shotgun!"

"Whoa," Patrick said in shock, never once hearing Abuelita talk like that.

"Ahem, Reggie, go tell the others that the party's over," she asked her nephew after recomposing herself. Reggie nodded and ran out to the backyard to inform everyone the party was over. The old woman then turned to Patrick. "I'm so sorry about that, but I think it's best for you to leave as well."

Patrick gave her an understanding smile. "I understand. And tell Soos I'm sorry," he said, before walking out the front door.

As he walked down the street and passed the park, Patrick walked over to one of the picnic tables and sat down. He looked down with a disheartening sigh and clenched his fist. His heart filled him with absolute rage at the thought of Soos' dad abandoning him. Soos was his best friend, a good kid, and an excellent man! Who was this guy to think he could just leave Soos all alone? And for what? Because he didn't want to raise a kid? So he goes to see the world and party?

"What a fucking mess…" He frowned with a slight shank of his head. "We promised Soos a happy birthday, but how can we give him that now? This goes beyond anything we know how to fix. I don't even know how to fix this!"

"Th-this way!" yelled Blendin's unmistakable voice from not too far away, startling the young man. He looked and saw the three time travelers arriving at the park. Patrick quickly got up from the table and rushed over behind a tree before they could spot him. Peeking out from behind the tree, Patrick saw Lolph, Blendin, and Dundgren walking over to the park bench. "He's gotta be around here somewhere. I-I-I think I heard him!"

As he stood with his back against the tree, Patrick looked down and noticed that young Robbie was standing behind the tree next to his. He put a finger to his mouth to tell him to be quiet. But the little brat chuckled evilly as he aimed his water gun at him.

"Freeze!" Lolph suddenly shot the laser gun at Robbie's tree, blowing up and revealing Robbie to them.

The little boy ran away crying. Patrick let out a soft sigh of relief.

"Trace their chrono-signatures," the time officer said, pulling out a device and going off to try and find Patrick.

"Man, the sooner I defeat that kid in Globnar, the sooner I can win my time wish," Blend said with an eager smirk.

"Tell you what I'd do if I had a time wish," Dundgren said. "Retire early. Spend more time with the kids.

"Naing Niang Niang Niang Niang, with the kids!" Blendin mockingly interrupted him. "Don't you know a time wish can do literally anything? Any impossible problem solved-" he snapped his fingers. "-just like that? I mean, imagine the possibilities!"

When he heard that, Patrick's eyes widened with a gasp of realization. "Maybe that time wish can make Soos' dad come to his twelfth birthday," he whispered to himself and snapped his fingers. "And then all of Soos' birthdays would be fixed forever." Peering out from behind the tree, Patrick looked at Blendin. Honestly, he didn't know if he'd be able to win Globnar. But he had to try. It's the only chance he had to get back to his time. Besides, it's for Soos. He would do the same for him or any of his friends.

Meanwhile, Blendin was getting even more impatient. "Time-Damnit! Where are you, Patrick Pines!" He yelled out loud.

"Right here, Blendin." Patrick said, stepping out from behind the tree.

"It's him!" Blendin shouted, pointing at the teenager.

"Freeze!" Dundgren ordered, pointing his laser gun Patrick

Lolph pulled out his own gun and aimed it at the teenager. "Careful, he's from the past. He might have a powder musket or slap bracelets."

"Don't worry. I'm not running away," Patrick said evenly as he pulled out the time machine he stole. Dropping it to the ground, he kicked it over to the three before approaching them. "You wanna fight me, Blendin? Fine! Let's settle this once and for all."

"Yes!" Blendin cheered. "Let the Globnar begin! Prepare... for... GLOBNAAA-" his voice was suddenly cut off with a green mute symbol appearing in front of his mouth.

"Hey, turns out I can mute him," Lolph said.

"Man, I wish we'd known that earlier." Dundgren dryly.

"So do I." Patrick added.

"Initializing!" Lolph pressed the button on his wrist.

Patrick and the three men disappeared in a flash of white, before reappearing back in the future, in the middle of the arena. This time, there were no other events going on. The arena was clear for him and Blendin. The crowd around them shouted "Globnar" repeatedly, punching their fists in the air, as the group was shown on a large screen at the edge of the arena. Those cheers continued as a large hole opened up on one end of the arena.

Patrick watched with growing amazement as a giant baby the size of a small building, with a glowing blue hourglass mark on his head and black eyes. His head was bigger than his body, with pink blush on his cheeks and long eyelashes.

"Silence!" The giant baby ordered in an unexpectedly low and booming voice. Most of the arena hushed.

"Wooh! Oh yea!" cheered one Globnar fan. The Time Baby shot him with his laser vision. Vaporizing the guy into ash.

"Who or what is that?" Patrick asked with wide eyes.

"Time Baby. Keeper of time after his father retired," Lolph said.

Time Baby raised his hands to address Patrick and Blendin. "Welcome Globnar tributes! I have a very important nap to get to so let's make this quick. You each have a chance to settle your time-feud through gladiatorial combat."

A robot flew over to the keeper of time, carrying a baby bottle shaped like an hourglass and filled with a universal-textured substance. "You will have until Time Baby finishes drinking the cosmic sand in this hourglass," it explained and got closer to Time Baby.

"No!

"Come on," the robot said, poking Time Baby with the bottle.

"Ow!"

"It's good for you."

"Wah!"

"Get ready, kid," Blendin exclaimed at Patrick. "When I get that time wish, you'll wish you were never born. Or rather, you'll wish you were born, because I'm gonna wish you were never born!"

"Bring it on, baldy!" Patrick proclaimed, grinning confidently. "What do you have, besides your chrome dome?"

"Oh-oh, yeah? Well I have training!" Blendin proved his point by grabbing a spear and twirling it around expertly before pointing the sharp at his surprised opponent's face. "What do you think I did in prison all that time?"

"Uh oh."

"Let the Globnar... BEGIN!" Time Baby announced as lightning flashed behind him. The scoreboard lights up, giving both tributes zero points. Blendin's and Patrick's handcuffs fall off. Patrick glared at the time travel and Blendin screamed as the games began.

Patrick and Blendin fought with battling sticks before Blendin pushed him away. Patrick got up quickly and jumped at him to take him out. But then he was knocked away again on a large clock platform. Blendin jumped over the hands on the clock, but they tripped Patrick over. He fell on his back and Blendin got a point for that game.

The next game was a race on light cycles. Patrick and Blendin raced along the gravity-defying track at high speeds. At first, Blendin was confident he'd win again, but then the young man did a wheelie and sped up and overtook him. Crossing the finish line first and gaining a point.

However, not all games were physical competitions. As was the case when Patrick and Blendin played a strange-looking chess game. Remembering his games against Dipper, Patrick was about to start the game when it was interrupted by a monster with a clock for a face. The beast let out a mighty roar before chasing the two around. After playing a few more games, two opponents were tied at 244. But it wasn't over yet as there were still many more games to play.

Blendin chased Patrick around on a giant clock wheel.

Patrick and Blendin competed in a "time dog" eating contest.

The tributes fought one another in robotic cuckoo clock suits.

They had a wheelbarrow race.

Patrick and Blendin fighting with spears on unicycles on a tightrope over a pool of time sharks.

The two played a game that resembles a giant Jenga.

GLOBNAAAAAAR!

---

After hours of challenges and fighting for his life, Patrick had to work together with Blendin for their penultimate challenge. The tributes worked together to overpower and push the clock-faced monster through a door in the wall. It was a great struggle, but they managed to push it into the door and close it. Locking it away.

"Very good. You have escaped the Cyclocks," Time Baby said in approval.

"Yes! Blendin for the almost-win!" Blendin exclaimed, looking at the scoreboard. The score was shown to be 764 for Blendin and 763 for Patrick. Things were looking very bad for the young man. All Blendin needed was one more win and he'd be able to erase Patrick from history. Patrick was so close to fainting, but his resolve kept him from giving up on Soos.

"There is only one final challenge for Globnar," Time Baby said, with his foot in his mouth. "An ancient game, thousands of years old, chosen for its exemplification of pure strategy: The ancient art... of Laser Tag!"

"Wait what?" Patrick asked.

The crowd cheered wildly as a holographic laser tag arena appeared, with laser vests and guns appearing on the two tributes. At the end of the maze, a time wish appeared atop a platform.

"The one who touches the victory orb first will win!" Time Baby declared.

Patrick looked at his gun with a bewildered look on his face. "This is the last challenge? Laser tag?" He asked with an eyebrow raised up.

"Oh, I know it doesn't seem that challenging now, but just wait till they turn on that fog machine," Blendin said confidently, holding his gun at the ready. "You'll be done for! You just wait until ya-"

The time traveler was cut off when Patrick shot him, making his vest say "Hit." He then shot him multiple times. "Hit! Hit! Hit!"

"Aw, man," sighed Blendin. Deciding to end this quickly, Patrick jumped over the wall and ran for the platform. Much to the shock of his opponent. "Hey! You can't jump over any of the obstacles and run! That's the regulation!"

Patrick ran up to the top of the pyramid to the orb, before turning around and yelling, "Street rules, man!" He then placed his hand on the time wish and everything went white.

When the light faded, Patrick was back on the ground and the laser tag arena was gone. At the same moment, Time Baby had just finished drinking the cosmic sand. "It is finished!" He announced to the crowd, as one of his robots came over and patted him on the back, making him burps.

The crowd cheered and Patrick's score went all the way up to 999. When he sat this, Patrick cheered. "YES!"

"No!" Blendin cried fiercely in a state of shock, panic, and outrage. "No! No! No! Nooooo!"

Time Baby's flying bouncer hovered down to Patrick and Blendin, with Dundgren and Lolph walking over to hold the loser by his arms. "You have made victory in Globnar. Before I give you your time wish, tell us; what fate have you decided for the loser?" The infant overlord asked.

"Oh, jeez…" Blendin muttered nervously.

Patrick walked Blendin, glaring at him for all the trouble that he caused him today. All so he could wish him out of existence. But then Patrick's glare softened when he remembered that the reason he was here in the first place was because it's his fault for ruining his life. And he's kind of too sad to be a real bad guy. Maybe if Patrick treated him right in the present, he'll turn out better in the future.

"I've come to a decision," Patrick told Time Baby. Blendin closed his eyes, waiting for his inevitable end to come. "As long as you keep an eye on him, I'd like to set Blendin free and restore his position at the Time Anomaly Correction Unit. And maybe give him some hair or something.

"So be it," Time Baby said, and snapped his fingers.

Blendin gasped as his handcuffs fell off. "Wh-what? You'd do that for me?" He asked in disbelief. All doubt was erased when a mustache-shaped haircut grew on his head. "I got my job back!" He placed a hand on Lolph's chest. "I feel like hugging somebody."

"I can kill you in eight different ways," said Lolph.

"Yes, sir." Blendin removed his hand. "But, why would you spare me?"

"Well, it's like you said, it's my fault that your life was ruined," Patrick said, being more sincere than before. "If it wasn't for me, you'd still have your job. I'm sorry, Blendin. For everything."

Blendin stared at him for a moment before smiling gratefully. "That's all I ever wanted to hear," he said.

"It was?"

"Well, at first I wanted to hear your screams of agony, but now that's all I wanted to hear."

"Now, child of the past," Time Baby said, rubbing his face. This allowed him to create a time wish from the hourglass on his head. The glowing orb floated down to Patrick. "What is it that you want for your time wish?"

Patrick stared at the time wish with wide eyes. Mesmerized by its beauty and power. He was about to touch it and wished to fix all of Soos' birthdays when he stopped. Remembering his birthday made him realize that this would have been the perfect gift for Soos.

"Thank you, but the wish... isn't for me," he said.

This baffled Time Baby. "Not you? But then who? Who is worthy to receive such power?"

---

Back in the present, Soos was having one of the worst times of his time. When Patrick disappeared, Soos thought that he went on ahead like he said. But when he couldn't find his friend, he realized that he was all alone and an easy target for the other players. "Patrick? Dude?" He called out for the teenager one last time, before letting out a dejected sigh. "Aw, who am I kidding?"

With a sad frown, he decided to throw in the towel on another miserable birthday and walked out of the arena.

"Soos? Where are you going?" asked Mabel as she and Dipper ran over to him.

"I'm going home, dudes. I'm not up for this," Soos told them.

"But you can't leave. Can't you just say for just a little more time?" Dipper asked.

Soos looked at the two twins for a moment. He knew they were trying to make him happy on his birthday, but he just couldn't fake it anymore. But it would not be cool to just walk away from them. With a sigh, the handyman took out a coin from his pocket. "Alright dudes, heads I stay, tails I go make myself some dinosaur-shaped cookies."

Soos flipped the coin into the air to make his choice. But at the same time, everything around the two started slowing down. A kid drinking from a water fountain slowed down. Two kids playing in the laser tag arena also slow down. Everything slowed down to a halt, while Soos and the twins were the only ones unaffected by the anomaly.

"Cool…" Mabel said, staring at Soos' coin, which had stopped in mid-air.

"Huh." Soos flicked the coin as it still remained in the air. "That's... unconventional."

Suddenly there was a bright flash of light behind them, revealing to be Patrick and Blendin. Still brushed and dirty from fighting in Globnar, Patrick saw Soos and the twins with a relieved look in his eyes. "Soos! Guys!"

"Patrick!" Soos, Dipper, and Mabel exclaimed in apt surprise as Patrick rushed over and embraced the twins. "Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you!" The handyman said.

"Soos, I'm so sorry I left you hanging, dude," Patrick said with a regretful frown as he placed the kids on the ground. "I got caught up in this time travel junk, and there was a time cyclops, and oh man, this awesome time race!" He laughed at how wild his ordeal was, while the others stared at him with confused looks.

"I'm...lost," Dipper said, before noticing Blendin walking up to them. "And isn't that the time travel guy? What was his name again?"

"Blendin, but that's not the point," Patrick said, before looking at Soos with a sympathetic expression. "I know why you hate your birthday, Soos. I'm so sorry your dad never came back to see you. But, I think I know how to fix your birthday."

"Woah, really?" Soos asked, shocked to learn that Patrick knew about his day at first, then at his thoughtfulness. "Wait, you really did all of that... for me?"

"Yeah, man," Patrick said with a warm smile. He placed his hands on Dipper's and Mabel's heads as they smiled too. You're our friend."

"And that's not all," said Blendin, pressing a button on his wristwatch and the time wish appeared over the amazed handyman. Soos stared at it in amazement as it floated down in front of him. "Behold your time wish! The power to alter time paradox-free in any way you choose."

"I thought the only way of making you happy was meeting your dad," Patrick explained. "That it would have made all your birthdays better. But honor should be yours, Soos. It is your birthday after all."

"You...You mean I can finally see my dad by touching this thing? And you battled through time and space just to get this for me?" Soos asked, feeling somewhat hopeful, but also conflicted. He took out the postcard from New Orleans. That was the last letter his dad ever sent him, and it's been nothing but a reminder of disappointment and sadness. but now he had the chance he's been waiting for his entire life. And it was floating just inches in front of him. But then the handyman looked at Patrick, who risked his life to get him this chance.

"What are you waiting for?" Dipper asked expectantly.

"Make a wish!" Mabel said supportively.

Soos glanced at the postcard one more time, then put it away. "Alright, here goes nothing," he said and placed his hand on time wish It gave off a flash of blinding white light.

Time went back to normal, but when the light cleared, instead of Soos' mysterious father appearing in the laser tag joint, Patrick was instantly cleared up and healed from his Globnar battles. All his clothes were back to looking good as new, and all his cuts and bruises were completely healed. Needless to say, the young man was confused.

"Wait, what just happened?" Patrick asked, as the twins and Blendin were also dumbfounded.

"Bam! I fixed you up, dude." Soos smiled.

"Wait, you used the time wish on me?" Patrick asked incredulously. "What about meeting your dad?!"

"Well, birthdays are supposed to be spent with the people who care about you. But you know what, that dude didn't care about me enough to visit me once, let alone fight monsters through time and space like you, dude. I mean, you had a gladiator fight, just to make me happy. I've been being ridiculous this whole time. Whoever my dad was, he can take a hike." With that being said, Soos threw away the postcard into the trash bin. "I know who my family is now, and it's you, dudes. Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever." He then pulled the three kids into a warm hug.

Patrick was a little taken aback, but as a few tears ran down his face, he hugged him back. "Happy birthday, Soos," Patrick said with a warm smile.

"Are you kidding me?!" Blendin yelled in complete shock, ruining the moment. "Do you have any idea what you've just wasted?! Do you how many have died to get the time wish; the wars that were started?!"

"Oh that's not all dude," said Soos, holding up a slice of pizza. "I also wished for this slice of infinite pizza. Watch." He took a bite out of the pizza, which regenerated itself a second later. "And it can do that for like...infinity."

"Oh yeah, okay, cool." Dipper nodded.

"Okay, yeah. Phew. That's a good time wish!" Blendin sighed in relief.

"There's still ten minutes before Laser Tag closes," Soos said with a growing smile. "You dudes wanna play?"

"Hell yeah, man!" Patrick exclaimed with a grin. As Blendin went back to his own time, Patrick Dipper, Mabel, and Soos ran into the Laser Tag zone, laughing. All the while, they wished Soos a happy birthday. This time, for the first time in ten years, the handyman felt happy to hear those words.

---

2002

However, back ten years ago, young Soos wandered into the backyard after all the decorations were taken down. He was still sad that his dad didn't visit him again, but then he noticed something on the ground. "Whoa, what's this?" Walking over to it, he picked up a screwdriver. The same one that Patrick, or 'the genius', dropped. The tool had a label on it, and he read it to himself. "Mystery Shack."

Knowing where the Mystery Shack was, the boy decided it was only right to return it to its proper home. When he arrived at the shack, Stan kicked open the door and angrily three a young Durland outside. "That is it! You are single-handedly the worst handyman I've ever seen!" the conman yelled furiously at his former employee, who scrambled to his feet and ran away.

A little frightened by this, Soos timidly walked up to the old man. "Uh, hey. Excuse me sir," he said, getting Stan's attention

"Hey you, gumdrop. Think you can fix a golf cart?" He asked dryly.

"Well, uh. I don't know if I-"

"Boom. You're hired. One size fits all." Stan declared, not giving Soos a chance to finish as he threw a Staff shirt at the little boy's head. The conman walked around to tend to a crowd of tourists that had just arrived at the shack.

Needless to say, Soos was somewhat bewildered as he looked at the shirt. Seeing that it was the shirt that he wanted from the shack's gift shop. He then looked at his new boss, who at first seemed gruff and cynical. But he was also the first person to give Soos a chance. Which is more than what the young boy could say about his real father. And while he didn't know it at the time, this chance might just lead him down a path towards happiness.

---

Meanwhile, young Wendy was riding her tricycle around the park with a sad face. She was sad that the party was over, but that her new friend had left without telling her. She sighed sadly, before the sound of crying and laughing got her attention. Looking over at the jungle gym, she saw Robbie the jerk shooting his water gun at a kid she didn't recognize.

"Stop it!" The young boy cried on the ground as Robbie spread him with water.

"What're you going to do about it, crybaby?" Robbie mocked as he pumped more water. "Young Robbie!" He was suddenly hit in the face by a water bubble. "What the?"

"Get away from him, Robbie!" Wendy bravely yelled, running over and throwing more water bubbles at the class bully. Having had enough of him being a jerk to other kids. Robbie tried shooting back, but as more and more bubbles hit him in the face, he ran off crying just like before.

Seeing him running away, Wendy walked over to the other boy and asked, "Are you okay?" The boy looked up at her, and she was able to see he was her age with black hair under a blue hat and black eyes.

"Yeah," the boy said, trying to wipe his tears away with a pout. "I'm fine." But that's when he realized that he didn't have one of his little boots and looked down to see his barefoot.

Wendy looked down and was amazed to see he had six toes on his foot. "Whoa. You have…"

"Don't look at it!" the boy yelled, quickly sitting down and putting back on his sock, then his boot. He looked at her from the corner of his eye and frowned. "What, you're gonna make fun of me too?"

"Why would I do something so mean?" Wendy asked confused as to why anyone would make fun of him for his toes. The young boy looked at her with wide eyes as she smiled at him. "I think it looks cool."

This made the boy blush as she held out her hand to him.

"I'm Wendy. What's your name?"

The boy hesitantly shook her hand. "It's Patrick," he said, smiling a little. "Do you wanna play with me?"

"I'd love to," Wendy said happily, before taking his hand and running over to the jungle jump.

The next hour, the two kids would play with one another with smiles on their faces. Going down the slides one at a time, swinging together while laughing and building a sandcastle and acting like a giant monster destroying it. They had a great time with each other before a car honked at them.

"Patrick, come on!" Nora called her son from the window of the car. They were only there to visit her mother and were ready to go back home.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but I've got to go," Patrick sadly said to his new friend. He didn't want to go, but he had to.

Wendy was sad too and asked, "Will I...ever see you again?" Patrick wasn't so sure and couldn't give her an answer. Seeing this, the young girl knew the answer and it made her even sadder.

She then surprised him with a kiss on the cheek. Patrick's eyes widened as far as they could as he turned to look at the redheaded with wide eyes. Blushing so much that nearly his entire face was red.

"Thanks for being my friend," she said, running off to her tricycle and riding off.

Leaving young Patrick alone at the park as a big smile formed on his face. But then he snapped out of it when his mom honked the horn again. A little flustered and shaken, Patrick ran back to his parent's car. Once inside, the Pines family drove off. While it was only a short meaning that ended as soon as it had begun, and neither of them would remember it, this moment was what sparked the love between these two soulmates.

That love would return when Patrick and Wendy reunited ten years later.

---

AN: And that was "Blendin's Game," and I've got to say that I had a blast making this chapter. I started working on it when I kind of hit some writer's block in "Living in a Frog World," and I just couldn't stop.

The biggest change to the chapter was having Patrick be the only one that time travels. After all, he was the one that asked Blendin to use the time machine and the one that stole it. Without the twins, it allowed me to do things differently for the chapter.

The second thing that was different was Patrick being in the past. This time he interacted with not only the younger version of his future girlfriend and wife, but also with Soos. This was done to not only mix up the story, but because it's better than just having him sneak around and spying on Soos from afar.

And then there's the ending, with young Patrick and Wendy. This was something that I've been wanting to do for this chapter. Since this is set before the two got together, I figured it would be a way to make up for the lack of Wenrick moments.

The next chapter is "The Love God" and it's definitely going to be an interesting one, but one that I've been wanting to do for a long time. With some scenes already written out.

Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story and review it so that I know that I'm doing good and what to improve. If you have any questions or discussions, you'd have for me, then please in a Review or a PM me.

Thank you for reading and, in parting, I wish you all love, peace, health, God's blessing, and to have a wonderful day.