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After the Mystery Team discovered the truth about McGucket and how he lost his mind, they decided to go out and spend the day doing nothing to keep their minds off what they just learned. While Soos continued working at the Mystery Shack, the others decided to hang out with Wendy's friends. This way they'll be able to relax and clear their heads. Patrick was all for it. After all, it meant spending the day with his girlfriend. Together, they were laying on their back on the soft grass, as he held her hand. The twins and Wendy's friends were with them in the Gravity Falls Cemetery. Watching the clouds on that peaceful day.
"Cool! That one looks like a dinosaur," Patrick said, pointing up at a cloud in the shape of an apatosaurus.
"Whoa! Good eye," Wendy said and Patrick smiled at her.
"That cloud looks like a chipmunk!" Mabel exclaimed, pointing up at the sky to a cloud shaped like an animal. A moment later, an airplane flew out of its "mouth".
"—Barfing an airplane," Wendy added. Everyone laughed aloud with her and Patrick chuckled slightly. He smirked at her and kissed her forehead, while she playfully smacked his chest. A little embarrassed with how affectionate he could be with her in front of her friends.
Thompson then pointed up at a waffle-shaped cloud. "Uh, that looks like... uh, a cloud!"
"Boo!" Loo yelled.
"Thompson, stop being the worst at everything," Wendy joked.
Thompson chuckled nervously. "Sorry guys," he said as they all laughed
"Look at the clouds! Ooh! That cloud looks like a big heart-shaped balloon!" Mabel said, pointing up at the sky at a hot air balloon floating above them in the sky.
Dipper sat up and saw the balloon. "Clouds don't come in colors. That is a balloon," he told the others.
Wendy sat up, taking Patrick with her, and gasped when she saw more hot air balloons coming in from the distance. "Oh, dude! It's the Woodstick festival!" She said with excitement.
"What's a Woodstick festival?" Patrick asked.
"It's this annual outdoor concert featuring Oregon's up-and-coming indie bands," Wendy explained, before turning and taking Tambry's cell phone out of her hands.
"Hey!" Tambry protested and folded her arms in annoyance.
Wendy swiped through several images of the bands that Patrick's never heard before. "They're all coming! Scarves Indoors, Wood Grain on Everything, and I heard that this year Tabitha Johansson is headlining the concert."
"Tabitha who?" Patrick asked.
Lee scoffed and sat up with Nate. "The sexy pianist, dude."
"She sings that song about oil spills, but you know she's talking about her vagina," Mabel said with an innocent smile
"Mabel! How do you know that?" Patrick asked.
"It's not subtle."
"It really isn't," Nate added.
After looking on the phone, Wendy came across something that caught her attention. "Hey, check this out! The Love God is going to be there! You've probably seen him in that viral video," she said, playing the video for Patrick.
The video showed an overweight man with several tattoos and small fake wings on his back. He had a belt made of rope around his waist that held several glass vials. He wore a grey, horizontal-striped tank top, blue cut-off shorts, flip-flops, and pink straps running under his arms. He also wore a brown cuff on his right wrist and a necklace with both male and female gender symbols.
"Who's ready to fall in love tonight?!" Love God yelled at the crowd. The crowd began to cheer, before he suddenly stumbled face-first into the camera filming him. "Whoa! Ow! I hope nobody's filming this!"
Patrick grinned at the man's misfortune. "Whoa! Like a real concert concert? I've never actually been to one of those before." Patrick admitted, rubbing the back of his head.
"That's because you've never had an awesome girlfriend and crew to roll with before!" Wendy said, holding his hand and she pointed at the gang. Nate, Lee, Mabel, Dipper, and Thompson sitting together. They watched as Thompson was holding a dirty sponge.
"Come on, Thompson!" Lee said.
"Lick that sponge! Lick that sponge!" Him, Nate, Mabel, Dipper chanted Thompson groaning in and licked the dirty sponge, much to the disgust and amusement of everyone else. "Oh!"
"Can't believe he's doing it!" Nate cried.
"What are you doing man?" Lee laughed.
"When you're with us, you're in!" Wendy said, pointing at her boyfriend. Patrick smiled at her with a blush.
All was peaceful and the group was enjoying their time together when a loud groaning sound echoed through the air. The gang looked around worried as a flock of ravens chirped and flew away from branches. Lee and Thompson gasped in fear as the groans got louder. Patrick got up and pulled out his crowbar.
"Ghosty sounds! Cemetery ghosty sounds!" Mabel cried, shaking Dipper.
"It's coming from that open grave," Wendy said, standing up and pointing across the cemetery at an open grave. The group stood up and walked over to it. Stopping a few feet away from it. Each of them was hesitant to see what was inside the grave.
"You look!" Nate elbowed Lee.
Lee pushed him back. "No, you look!"
"Thompson, go look," Dipper said, surprising Thomspon as Lee and Nate laughed.
"Heh. Nice use of Thompson," Nate commented as Lee pushed Thompson toward the grave.
Thompson gingerly crept over to the grave, peering into it, worried. "Ugh…" He turned back to the others as they started chanting for him.
"Gaze upon death! Gaze upon death!"
Inching his way towards the grave, Thompson's hands covered his eyes. When he was right in front of the hole, he peeked between his fingers and peered down into it. What he saw made him scream in terror, with lightning striking during the sunny day.
{Play Stranger Things theme by Kyle Dixon Michael Stein}
The intro begins by fading in a scene of the road sign that said: "Welcome to Gravity Falls, Oregon."
We then see a view of the town of Gravity Falls, with the strangely shaped canyons in the background, and the sun going down between the two land formations. As the sun was setting, the day turns to a blue night. However, a sinister red light comes from over the horizon. Shining between the canyon.
The next scene is of a large, dinosaur footprint in the ground. It then changed to show the trees of the forest at night, and a pair of glowing eyes staring at the viewer, before the camera switched to a wider shot and showed many more eyes staring at the viewer. The next scene was a far back show of two men dumping a body into the lake, and as that body sank down it was swallowed by a massive creature.
PATRICK
The teenage Pines is shown in a freeze shot of him walking in the woods with a lantern and his crowbar in hand. Behind him, Bill's eye in the sky looked down at him.
DIPPER
The male twin is looking down at the journal with a flashlight. Not noticing that there was a Pteranodon staring down at him, ready to eat him.
MABEL
The female twin is the final one to be seen, and it showed her wearing a sweater that lit up because it was plugged into an outlet. But in another, farther away shot showed Gideon's hand controlling her like she was a marionette.
The finale of the intro shows the Mystery Shack as the sun goes down behind it and the trees of the forest. When the sun went down and the night came, and just like the beginning, the red light appeared, but then a blue light shined from inside the Mystery Shack.
Then the screen went black and the title of the story appeared in a flash of light.
WEIRDER THINGS
It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared.
Chapter Twenty-Nine:
Mabel Potion No.9
After his friend screamed in terror, Patrick ran over and pushed Thompson aside, pulled out his laser shotgun, and aimed it down into the grave. When he saw what was in it, he lowered his gun with wide eyes. He was fully expecting to see a zombie or a monster, but nothing like this. He turned to the others and said, "Uh, guys..."
The others followed and peered into the grave to see what he saw. Tambry rolled her eyes at what she saw. "Ugh! It's even creepier than I expected."
Inside the grave was none other than Robbie, lying all alone on his back and holding onto a picture of Wendy. Something that Patrick didn't exactly like. He groaned and sat up, oblivious to the presence of the Pines cousins and his friend group.
"Why did she leave me?" He whined in misery.
Patrick and Wendy glanced at one another. While he wondered if the emo really forgot that he tried to brainwash her, the redhead knelt down to the grave. "Robbie?" she asked in concern.
When Robbie turned to see her and his friends with the Pines, he jolted and faced them, looking nervous. "Wendy! Oh. Uh." He scrambled to lie back down against the wall of the grave. Trying to act all cool for her, which wasn't working. "Hey. What's up? Just hanging out in this grave, you know. Regular-Regular day for me," he said, flipping his hair.
"Whoa, dude. We haven't seen you in, like a million years. Where have you been?" Lee asked.
"You're not still mourning our breakup, are you?" Wendy asked awkwardly.
"What? No way!" Robbie denied it, but the picture of Wendy told them differently. Glancing the at picture, he quickly hid it behind his back.
Feeling awkward seeing her ex again, Wendy nervously pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Robbie, we split up forever ago. It's really sweet you'd throw yourself into a grave for me but, man, time to move on," she said, standing up and grabbing Patrick's hand as he frowned at Robbie. Feeling his girlfriend's hand made him calm down and smile. "I did and now I'm with Patrick."
This shocked and seemingly devastated Robbie. "You're with...him?" He asked, not fully believing that his ex had moved on and was now with the Pines loser of all people. "I...I-I'm totally moved on," he said unconvincingly.
His cell phone began to ring and he went bug-eyed as it sang his song. "Wendy, I miss you so much. I'll never move on. Never ever." With his eyes still on Wendy, Robbie threw the cell phone back. Not caring that it hit the headstone and broke into little pieces.
"That was a different Wendy. Unrelated Wendy," he said.
"Dude, this is getting really awkward," Lee quietly whispered to Nate.
"Yeah, the cemetery used to be fun; now it's just depressing," Tambry commented.
"We should go," Patrick said to Wendy, placing a hand on her shoulder. While Wendy was still a little worried about Robbie, she nodded and stood up.
Everyone started walking away, but then Mabel stopped and looked back at Robbie. Watching as the miserable teenager sighed and pulled half of his body out of the grave. He then grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt onto his head. "Wait! You guys!" Mabel said, running over and stopping Patrick and Dipper. "He's in pain. We can't just ditch him here."
"Watch me," Patrick said, turning to walk away when Mabel grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
"Come on, Mabel, it's Robbie," Dipper said in agreement with Patrick.
"But he's suffering. How can I be happy if I know someone else is sad? It totally throws off my happiness chart," she said, pulling out a chart drawn on a piece of paper with their faces down on it and smiley stickers next to all of them, except for Robbie's, who she placed a sad face on. Patrick and Wendy had a heart next to their smiley faces.
"Mabel, trust me. If there's one thing I've learned this summer, it's not to get mixed up in needless romantic drama," Dipper said, pointing at Patrick. That got him a punch from his cousin. "Ow!"
"What Dipper's trying to say is that Robbie dug his own grave. And I don't just mean that literally," Patrick said, gesturing to the grave Robbie was still in. "Besides, we're finally in with Wendy's friends. With Robbie gone, there's a good social balance. Maybe we should let the good thing be, you know." He turned and walked away with Dipper following.
Saddened that her cousin and brother didn't want to help, Mabel turned back to Robbie. The emo teen was approached by a nearby vulture. "Just eat me already, man." Suddenly the vulture squawked and attacked as Mabel sighed and walked away. "Ah! I was just being dramatic! Quit it! Ow! Ow! My face! Vulture!"
When they returned to the Mystery Shack, the Pines Cousins and Wendy walked into the gift shop. The redhead was leaning against the counter, embarrassed. "Oh, man. I'm sorry you guys had to see that," she said to the three.
"You know what Robbie needs? A new girl!" Mabel exclaimed with a grin. "Romance is like gum. Once it's lost its flavor, you just cram another one in." She crammed another stick of gum inside her mouth, which already had a wad of gum. She chewed on the gum as purple liquid leaked from her lips.
"Mabel, it's not that easy," Wendy said.
"Yeah, love isn't something that you can force onto someone," Patrick told her. "It takes time."
"Not if you're the world's greatest matchmaker! I've never had an unhappy customer; like Soos and Melody," Mabel said, pointing over to Soos, who was standing behind a cardboard box while video chatting with Melody.
"Watch this," Soos told Melody as he gradually bent down behind the cardboard box. Pretending to be walking down some actual stairs. "Walking down some actual stairs." Melody giggled. "Did it look cool?"
Melody giggled again and said, "The coolest."
"Match made!" Mabel shouted, pumping her fists. "And then, of course, there's Waddles and Gompers." The others turned their heads to see Gompers and Waddles duct-taped together. The goat was wearing a wedding veil made of saran wrap, which he ate, and had tin cans tied to him with string. Mabel threw confetti over them and pumped her fists. "Match made!"
She then turned to Patrick and Wendy. "And who can forget my crowning achievement, Wenrick!"
"Who's Wenrick?" Patrick asked.
"You guys, of course!" Mabel said, pointing to him and Wendy.
"Okay, that might work for a goat and a pig, but Robbie's a hopeless case," Wendy said.
"Hopeless case, ehhh?" she asked, grinning evilly as an idea started forming in her head. "In that case, I'm going to need some backup!" She said, pointing to her own and only cousin.
Realizing that she was talking about him, Patrick quickly declined. "No way. I'm not getting involved in this, Mabel."
"Please? You have to help me find love for Robbie," she pleaded, before trying to convince him with what she was thinking. "Wouldn't it be great for the one that caused Robbie's heartbreak to also be the one to help him find love again? To fix his bleeding heart?"
Patrick turned to Wendy, wondering what she thought about this idea. "I think you should do it," she said, much to his surprise.
"What? I thought you hated him now?" He asked.
"I hate him. I hate what he did," Wendy told him, but she saw he was still hesitant. "Look, I know you don't like him and he's a jerk, but I've known him for a long time. I broke up with him, but that doesn't mean I still don't care about him."
Patrick thought about it for a moment, before sighing in defeat.
"The things I do for love," he groaned as they approached the Valentino household. After getting the address from Wendy, Patrick and Mabel made their way to Robbie's house, which just so happened to be the town's funeral home.
"Don't be like that, Patrick!" Mabel said with enthusiasm. "I know that Robbie's not your favorite person, but now he's a broken teacup and you and I are going to piece him back together."
They walked up to the doormat and Mabel rang the doorbell. The sound of organ piano rang from the house.
"Okay, this could get intense," she said, before the door opened. Revealing the two cousins gasped in shock.
"Howdy do!" Mr. Valentino greeted happily with his arm around his wife. He was a middle-aged man with brown hair, wearing a brown sweater vest with a dark brown/white outline diamond pattern over a white dress shirt with gray-brown pants.
"Happy day!" Mrs. Valentino said with an overly cheery tone. She was the same age as her husband with short ginger hair, wearing a purple/pink colored turtleneck sweater under a blue coat. She also had light blue pants and she wore glasses.
Patrick couldn't help but stare in surprise and disbelief as Mabel said, "It is intense! You're Robbie's parents? I always thought he was, like, raised by sad wolves or something."
"Oh, well, he doesn't like to talk about us. He always says we're too cheerful for funeral directors," Mr. Valentino said. The two parents looked at one another and laughed.
Patrick shook his head under their laughter. "Uh, yeah. We're actually here to see Robbie. Is he home?"
"Oh, of course! Come in. Come in," Mr. Valentino said, stepping aside to let them pass. Patrick was hesitant about entering Robbie's home, but then Mabel headed inside. He followed quickly.
The first thing he saw was a glass coffin with a corpse in it. Patrick screamed and fell back on the ground and clutched his hammering heart. He was then disturbed when he noticed a tray of crackers and grapes on top of the coffin.
"Cracker platter?" He asked them as his wife walked out of the kitchen with a plate of spaghetti in her hands. Mr. Valentino grabbed the tray and approached Mabel, who sat on the couch.
"Oh, no time for crackers, sorry," Mabel said politely, not at all disturbed by the occupied coffin. "We're here to cheer Robbie up. Cannot have a dry cracker mouth for that."
Mrs. Valentino walked past them to the bottom of the staircase and called up to Robbie. "Robbie Stacey Valentino! There's a young man and little girl here to see you."
"Wait, his middle name is Stacey?" Patrick snorted.
Robbie's mother turned them the two Pines and handed Patrick the plate of spaghetti. "You go on up. And could you bring him his lunch?"
"Uh, sure," Patrick said looking at the meal to see that the sauce and meatballs on the spaghetti are shaped into a smile.
"Lady, I like your style," Mabel said. And with a giggle, she headed upstairs. Patrick followed after her, but lingered just enough to hear Mrs. Valentino when she started talking.
"You know who would look good in a sweater like that? Mrs. Grabelson's remains!" She said ever so happy and cheerful.
"Oh, absolutely!" Mr. Valentino agreed.
"Oh my God." Patrick cringed at the thought of that. No wonder Robbie doesn't like talking about them.
The two cousins walked up to the upstairs floor and walked towards Robbie's. Passing by several pictures of the emo from over the years. At the very beginning, he seemed like a happy, normal kid. Like a carbon copy of his parents. But as they passed by the more pictures, and as he got older, he started to become angrier and angstier. Becoming the pain in the ass, jackass emo that they all knew. They finally arrived at Robbie's bedroom door. Most of the wall was torn up and the door was covered in posters of his band.
"I don't think we should do this," Patrick said.
"Just try and be supportive," Mabel said. Patrick groaned, but complied. He banged on the door.
"Who is it?" Robbie asked from inside his room.
"It's Patrick and Mabel!"
"What do you want?"
"We wanna talk, now open the door."
"Ugh, go away!"
"I heard a 'come in'!" Mabel said, not giving Robbie any other options.
She opened the door and turned on the lights as she and Patrick entered the room. This made Robbie recoil from the bright lights like a vampire being exposed to the sun. "Agh, hey!" He unshielded his eyes and when he saw Patrick, he glared furiously at him. "YOU!"
"Whaddup, Stacey?" Patrick asked with a smirk.
"Don't call me that!" Robbie snapped, picking up a spray can from his dresser. "Listen, kid. Nobody in the Pines family is welcome here. Especially you, loser. In case you forgot, you're the one who ruined my life!" He turned and threw the can at a nearby dart target, which had a picture of Patrick pinned to it. The can knocked off a few darts, knives, and other sharp objects that he threw at the picture.
"I ruined your life?!" Patrick yelled, offended that Robbie was blaming him. "Why you son of a..."
"Alright, take five," Mabel said, pushing Patrick away from Robbie. She then set down Robbie's lunch and pulled up a chair to sit. "Yes, Patrick ruined your relationship with Wendy and broke your heart, but now he and Mabel are the ones who are gonna fix it. Listen, Robbie, I always used to see you as a creepy jerk, like the human version of rat poison."
"Uh, go on," Robbie said, a bit flattered by the comparison. He slowly took a seat on his bed, across from Mabel.
"But when I saw you in the cemetery today, I realized, Robbie's not a bad guy," she continued, while Robbie turned to see all the pictures he saved from his time with Wendy. He stared at them sadly and then laid down on his side. "He's just a heartbroken soul who needs love and gloves with fingers."
"Hey, fingerless gloves look awesome!"
"Not on you they don't." Patrick deadpanned
"Robbie, you just need a good matchmaker. I guarantee I'll find you true love or twice your sadness back," Mabel proclaimed with a professional wide smile.
Robbie looked at her then at Patrick, who was standing at the doorway. The two teenagers glared at one another before the Pines sighed and said, "Yeah, what she said."
Robbie groaned and got up from his bed. "If I say yes, will you leave my room?"
Mabel jumped off the bed and walked up to Robbie to zip up his hoodie. Now the broken picture of the heart on his hoodie was whole again. "I guarantee it," she said with a confident smile.
The two then left the Valentino home. As they headed back to the Mystery Shack, Patrick turned his cousin. "Aren't you Robbie on board with your idea, but how are we going to find him the right girlfriend?" He asked.
"Leave it to Mabel," she said.
When they returned home, they headed up to her room. Mabel cracked her knuckles and confidently slipped on a pair of heart-shaped glasses. "Okay, Gravity Falls, who wants to go out with Robbie?" She asked, sitting in front of a miniature diorama of the town and its residents.
Mabel reached over and started sorting through the wooden figures of the residents.
"Okay. Lazy Susan? Too old. Grenda, too young. Multi-Bear?" she paused for a moment. "...I'm putting you in the maybe pile," Mabel said, putting him in the 'MAYBE' category. There was also a fourth. The four categories were for future matches, including Dipper and Pacifica, Abuelita and Stan, and McGucket and a beaver. "Who could it be? Who could it be? What do you think, Patrick?"
"I don't know, but we better figure it out soon if we want to make it to the festival," Patrick said.
Mabel scratched her head with Robbie's wood figure. "Who's someone that's superficial and gothy enough for Robbie," she said, making Patrick's eyes widen.
"Wait, say that again!" He exclaimed, pointing at her.
"Superficial and gothy?" Mabel repeated with a confused look.
Taking the Robbie figure from her, Patrick looked around the board for the one person who could match Robbie. When he located that person's figure, he grounded it. The teenager placed Robbie's wooden figure on the table. Next to it, he placed the wooden figure of Tambry.
"Of course, that's it!" Mabel exclaimed, winking at her cousin. "You and Wendy really are America's favorite power couple."
"But how are we going to get them to go on a date?" Patrick asked.
She gave him a mischievous smile. "I've got an idea!" She said, pulling out her phone.
Meanwhile, at Thompson's house, Wendy and Dipper went over to hang out with her friends before the concert. The two and Tambry were sitting on some boxes, and while the goth girl was on her phone, Wendy and Dipper were watching as Lee and Nate were chanting and duck tape snacks onto Thompson's body. "More snacks! More snacks!"
"I'm just happy to be included—" Thompson was cut off when Nate put some tape over his mouth, causing his speech to be muffled.
"Ha! This is brilliant. The perfect way to sneak cheap snacks into the concert, and it was all Dipper's idea," Wendy praised her boyfriend's cousin.
"Woo! Nice!" Nate and Lee cheered as Tambry gave him a quick nod as they all gathered around him.
"Well done," Wendy complimented.
"Ideas!" Nate cheered
Lee bent down and placed a hand on Dipper's shoulder. "Kid, I sense greatness in you," he complimented.
Dipper chuckled. "Oh, well, I don't know about—"
"—Greatness!" Lee cried, lifting Dipper up onto his shoulders, cutting him off. Lee started around the garage with Dipper on his shoulders, laughing
"Alright, now everyone go home and finish getting ready for the concert," Wendy told the others and they all started to leave. Nate was about to leave when he stopped and looked at Tambry.
"Hey, don't wait up, Tambers," he said with a smirk.
"Don't call me Tambers," she said, annoyed.
Nate laughed and ran off. "Classic Tambers."
Tambry looked back at her phone and was confused when a number she didn't know texted her. Looking at the text, she read it to herself. "'Tambry, You. Me. Date. Bring that sweet, sweet bod. Your secret admirer.'"
After telling Robbie to go to Greasy's Diner for his date, Patrick and Mabel arrived shortly afterwards. Sitting at the bar, the two watched Robbie as he sat quietly in a booth.
Mabel turned to her cousin with a knowing expression."Just you wait, Pattycakes. Love is about to happen. Watch and learn."
"Don't call that. Only Wendy gets to call me that."
Almost instantly, the bell rang as the door to the diner opened. The two cousins turned to see Tambry walking in. She looked around for her so-called 'secret admirer' when she approached the booth Robbie was sitting in. Tambry was immediately surprised and disgusted.
"Ugh, Robbie? You're my secret admirer?" She said with a cringe, walking over to him.
"Tambry? Ugh, this is just what I get for trusting a toddler," Robbie complained as he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Listen, I don't think this is gonna work out. Dating somebody I already know? It's kinda like admitting defeat."
"Um, way to assume I'm even interested," she said glaring at him and sitting across from him.
"Tambry, let's be real. If I wanted to date you I would have done it already. I'm just a little out of your league," Robbie said smugly. Then he noticed a mustard stain on the elbow of his sweatshirt. Whoa, is that mustard? Don't want to waste that bad boy." He then proceeded to try and lick the mustard stain off his elbow.
Tambry's disgust for him increased as she pulled out her cell phone and typed, "Status update: On blind date with sociopath."
He rolled his eyes. "Oh, sure, bring out the phone. Classic Tambers." He then turned to a waiter. "Hey, can I get some chili fries?" The two glared at one another. "To go!"
Patrick and Mabel were in the booth behind Tambry. When she saw how bad the date was going, Mabel gasped in surprise. "What? How is this possible? I'm supposed to be the best matchmaker ever," she said looking at her chart.
"It's like I said, Mabel, you can't force two people to like each other," Patrick said, reaching over and patting her on the back. "Come on, let's just go."
But then suddenly, all the patrons in the diner started speaking louder than before. They were running to the door of the diner, excited for something. Patrick and Mabel glanced at one another, confused, before looking at the door just in time for it to burst open, and for the Love God to storm in. "Woo-hoo! Who's ready to fall in love tonight?" He yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Love God!" The patrons all cheered.
The rock star smacked a nearby jukebox and got the music started. "That's what they call me. We're rewriting history tonight, and it starts with you and you!" He yelled, pointing at a male patron and a female employee. The man and woman looked at each other and immediately started kissing and making out. "Love is real and it's in your face!"
He stumbled over to a table with an elderly, female patron. "What's your name, you little angel?" He asked, leaning over.
The old woman giggled. "Meredith."
In a hurried whisper, the Love God said, "Meredith, Meredith. We got a problem. That cutie right there is your soulmate and you're living without him." He pointed to an elderly man sitting across from them.
Meredith looked worried. "Oh, no. What do I do?"
"Get it, girl. You know what you love," said Love God, pointing at the man. Meredith got up and ran as the Love God threw up his arms and pink sparkles flew into the air. "Pow! Match made!"
Meredith rushed towards the man and picked him up, both of them laughing happily.
Patrick and Mabel were hiding behind the booth, when the girl gasped, "I must know how this works."
"Or, we could just leave and get ready for the concert," Patrick said, shaking his head. "Mabel?... You're already gone, aren't you."
He didn't even need to turn his head to see that Mabel was gone. She was running over to the Love God. He sighed, deciding that there was no way he was going to talk out of this. So, he walked over as Mabel approached Love God, who was currently stuffing a large sandwich into his mouth. Covering his face in mustard and other sauces.
"Hi. Love God? Mabel here, with my cousin Patrick. Big fans. Can I just say, that was some of the finest matchmaking I've ever seen?" She complimented him, before sitting in the booth across from him with her cousin. "Can you please, please tell me your secret?"
Love God licked his fingers and put his sandwich down. "Well, between you and me, let's just say my name's not exactly a coincidence." He pointed behind himself towards his wings. Then, to the kids' surprise, they started fluttering.
"Wait, you're an actual god?" Patrick asked.
"Call me a cherub," he said. "The internet pretty much does my job for me nowadays so I'm taking time to focus on my rock career." The cherub then pulled out a cassette and handed it to him. "Boom. Cassette. Boom. For you."
"Oh! That's... great." With an uncomfortable smile, Patrick subtly dropped the cassette into the trash.
"So, anyway. Can you make anything fall in love? Like that snake and that badger?" Mabel asked, pointing out the window at a badger and snake that were fighting. Love God watched as the two animals hissing and growling aggressively at each other.
"Hmm, ah gee, I dunno. That might be kinda hard to—" he suddenly pointed at the animals. "Kaboom! Match made!"
Suddenly, the two animals smiled at one another. The snake wrapped itself around the badger and the badger walked away into the woods.
Mabel gasped in awe and pressed her hands against her face. "They're gonna make a snadger!"
"That has to be a crime against nature," Patrick said with a cringe.
"An adorable crime against nature!" She exclaimed before turning back to Love God. "How are you doing that?"
"Love potion, yo." Love God pointed to the flasks tied around him. "I got it all. Summer love. Young love. Anti-love. You just gotta put a little on your fingers and pow!" He snapped his finger and the potion flicked in the air.
Mabel gasped and stood up in the booth. "I need that potion! How much would it cost?" She grabbed a squirrel that was running them and held it in Love God's face. "And will you accept squirrels as payment?"
"Whoa, no way," Love God said, pointing to his potions. "You might think you know what's best for people but this stuff can have major social consequences. That's why it can only be used by a serious expert."
"Love God! Sign my face!" screamed a woman from the booth behind him.
"Only if you sign mine, baby. Let's get weird!" Love God yelled, turning around, and began climbing over the booth. Both him and the random woman then started making out.
Patrick cringed and got out of his seat. "Come on, let's go," he said, looking back at Mabel.
That's when he saw Mabel carefully taking a love potion off of Love God's belt while he was facing away from them. His cousin replaced the empty slot with the squirrel. She put a finger over her mouth and shushed the squirrel, warning it to stay quiet.
"Mabel, what the hell are you doing?!" Patrick whisper-yelled at her.
"I need this, Patrick! This is my chance!" Mabel whisper-yelled at him, before skipping off. Patrick watched as she entered the kitchen of the Greasy Diner, where the chef was finishing Robbie's order of fries. Mabel approached him with the love potion in her hand. "Mind if I add a little something to these fries?"
For a second, Patrick thought that she had finally lost her mind. There was no way he'd just let her add the love potion.
But then the chef shrugged and said, "I don't see why not."
With a delighted giggle, Mabel poured the contents of the potion onto the fries. The chef grabbed the chili fries and walked them out to Robbie and Tambry, placing them on their table. Patrick and Mabel returned to their seats and watched, curious to see what would happen.
Robbie grabbed a pink, sparkling fry and took a bite of it. His eyes widened and flashed pink for a second as he stared at Tambry. "Whoa. Did your whole thing suddenly get a lot more likable?"
Tambry took a bite of a fry, and her eyes flashed pink as well. "You don't seem as needy as I used to think you were."
Robbie leaned in closer to Tambry. "Hey, you wouldn't wanna maybe get outta here and, I don't know, go kiss in public a lot?" He asked.
Tambry took his hand and said, "For some reason, I do." She then pulled out her phone and began to type as Robbie played with her hair. "Status update—you know what? Forget it." The goth girl put the phone down and grabbed her purse. "Maybe I should stare at something other than my phone for a while."
And with that, the two teens held hands together and walked away from their booth. Tambry didn't notice that she left her phone, and she didn't care. Neither did Robbie. The two were happy together as they walked out of the diner hand in hand.
Mabel let out a delighted gasp and pumped her fists. "Match made!"
"No, it wasn't," Patrick told her with a frown. "You used a love potion on them."
"And it worked!" Mabel exclaimed with a big grin. "Now they're in love!"
"But, they didn't fall in love naturally, Mabel," Patrick argued, rolling his eyes. "What about that stuff Love God said about social consequence?"
Mabel scoffed. "Psh. I'm sure it's fine! Robbie and Tambry are happy now, and that's what matters. Come on! Let's go get ready for the concert. I can't wait to tell everyone about Mabel's newest match made!
When Patrick and Mabel made it to Thompson's house, the garage door opened to reveal everyone else was all dressed up and ready for the concert. When Patrick saw his girlfriend, he almost drooled at the sight of her and how she was dressed for tonight.
"Hey guys, you made it!" She exclaimed, running over and giving Patrick a kiss before turning to the others. "All right. You ready for the best and most overpriced day of our summer, motherfuckers?!" She yelled, throwing her fist in the air. All of them cheered happily.
Thompson held up a bag of trail mix and some safety whistles. "I brought a baggie of trail mix and safety whistles, in case we get separated."
Dipper pretended to clear his throat as he said, "Lame."
Lee, Nate, and Patrick laughed. "This kid is a champion," the former complimented.
"So what're we waiting for!" Patrick chirped, throwing his arm around Wendy's shoulder. She threw her arm over his shoulder and smiled at him. "Let's get going!"
"We're just waiting on Tambry," Nate said, looking around for the goth girl. "Can't leave without Tambry."
Mabel gave a giggle as she held her happiness chart. "Sorry, guys, but Tambry's a little busy at the moment. Wink. Wink." She informed them, winking.
"What does that mean?" Nate asked nervously. "Why are you winking?"
"Let's just say that takes me and Patrick, she and Robbie took a trip to Smoochville!" Mabel sing-songed the last part, holding up her happiness chart, not seeing his worried confusion. Now all the spaces have a happy sticker on them. Everyone but Patrick gasped in shock. "Now everyone's happy."
Or so she thought.
"Wait, wait. Robbie and Tambry?" Nate cried out loud as he started freaking out. "This can't be happening."
"How's that?" Mabel asked, confused
"He knew I liked her! How could he do this?!" Nate exclaimed.
"Whoa, hold it. You like Tambry and you told Robbie but not me?" Lee asked, angered and hurt.
"You always make fun of my crushes, man!" Nate argued.
"That's what we do, genius!" Lee whacked Nate's head.
"Oh boy," Patrick muttered, seeing that his worries from before were conferred.
But then they grew worse when Wendy suddenly shoved him back. She glared at him angrily. More angry at him than he ever saw. "What the hell were you thinking, Patrick?!" She practically screamed at him.
"You said that you wanted Robbie to be happy," he argued with her.
"Yeah, but by hooking him up with Tambry?! Why am I even surprised? She dates my exes behind my back!" Wendy began angrily pulling her own hair as she said, "I'm gonna tear her fucking highlights out!"
"Wendy, easy. Don't do that to your hair," Patrick said, trying to calm her down.
Dipper ran up to them to intervene. "Guys, guys. Calm down. We're gonna be late for the concert," he said.
"Uh, news flash, kid. I'm not going to the concert. Not with him." Nate snapped, pointing to Lee.
"Hey, that won't be a problem 'cus I'm out!" Lee snapped back
"Me, too!" Wendy agreed.
"Wait, what!? But, Wendy!" Patrick tried to reach out for her, only to be taken aback in shock when his girlfriend slapped his hand away.
"No! Just stop! You've done enough, Patrick! It's over!" She snapped harshly at him before turning and storming out of the garage with Nate and Lee. "Don't call me!"
This shocked and devastated Patrick to the point where he could only stand there with wide eyes and a hanging jaw. His heart almost stopped as he watched the redhead walk away from him in fury. He didn't even react when Thompson pushed past him
"Wait! Wait! This group is all I have! Don't make me go back to having no friends! Guys!" He frantically called out to everyone leaving.
"Did...I just get dumped?" he asked, totally dumbfounded after falling onto his knees.
"Match...made?" Mabel quietly said to herself in disbelief. All the stickers on her happiness chart fall off. Including the heart stickers. Hearing Patrick question if his girlfriend just broke up with him made the pain in Mabel's heart worse as she realized that she just royally screwed up.
"Wait, guys. Don't go! Not my mailbox!" Thompson exclaimed.
Nate punched Thompson's mailbox, but recoiled from the pain. "Ugh. Ow!"
When the last of his friends left, Thompson suddenly growled and turned towards Mabel and Patrick with a look of pure anger in his eyes. Anger most didn't know he was capable of. Patrick snapped out of his shock when the large teenager suddenly grabbed him by his coiler and pulled him up to his face.
"What did you just do?!"
"W-We were-" Patrick was cut off when Thompson pushed him away. The Pines teen backed into the wall with a surprising amount of force
"I've let these guys pick on me for years to keep this group together. And now they've totally fallen apart!" He yelled, throwing his bear hat on the ground at their feet.
"But we were all starting to finally hang out together. I was one of the gang," Dipper said beside his sister.
"Well, unless you can break up Robbie and Tambry immediately, there is no gang. I have no more friends and neither do you. And you have no more girlfriend," Thompson said, pointing at the Pines teenager. Patrick flinched at this, as Thompson peeled off duck tape sticking a chip to his shirt. "I'm gonna eat this."
He then stormed off, leaving the Pines Cousin in his garage. When the teenager was out of sight Patrick kicked an empty can of paint hard into the street.
"Shit!" He yelled, pacing around the garage.
"That was bad," Mabel mumbled.
Patrick stopped pacing as his fists clenched with rage, before whirling around to glared furiously at her. "Bad?! You call that BAD?! Wendy might have just broken up with me! Our friend group is destroyed, because of you! Bad doesn't even begin to describe this! I told you about staying out of Robbie's personal life! I told you that love isn't something you can force, but you didn't wanna listen!"
"I didn't mean to break you two up," Mabel whimpered like a kicked puppy.
Patrick sighed and rubbed his temple. "Let me think. Let me think."
As he paced around, trying to figure out how he was going to fix the mess that he helped cause, Mabel looked down guiltily. Dipper walked over with a look of slight disappointment. "You really messed up this time," he remarked.
"I know, I know. I just wanted to be a good matchmaker," she said, sitting down on a tire.
"Has it ever been considered that your constant matchmaking comes from your attempt to bury your own insecurities over ever finding a real boyfriend?" Dipper theorized, much to Mabel's surprise. "That you're afraid of being alone forever, so you strive to ensure that everyone around you isn't."
Mabel stared at her brother before turning away, thinking to herself. Was he right? Was she really matchmaking because of her own failed romances? Looking back at Patrick, Mabel saw he was leaning against the garage entrance, still trying to think of a way to fix this. But the girl twin could hear him sniffing as if he's trying to hold in a bit of sobbing. It broke her heart to see her cousin like this and filled her with even more guilt knowing that it was all because of her.
Walking up to Patrick with his back turned towards her, she said, "Patrick, I'm so sorry. You were right and I should never have stolen that love potion from the Love God."
Patrick's eyes widened when he heard that. Turning around he said, "Wait, that's it! The love potion! Love God said that he had an anti-love potion. Maybe it can undo the spell!"
Mabel gasped. "That's it! If I undo the spell, then everyone will be friends again and you and Wendy can get back together! But I'm gonna need your help," she said to Patrick and Dipper. Her cousin nodded. Then Mabel turned to look at Dipper, sternly. "Also, you are not pulling off that v-neck."
"I know," Dipper admitted, dejectedly.
"Burn it!"
Determined to fix this mess and get back with his girlfriend, Patrick said, "Let's do this."
About two hours later and the Woodstick Festival had begun. aRound the large stage where the bands will be playing were various tents for various foods and item vendors, such as Hippie Tea and spray bottles. The Pine Cousins were at the festival, peeking out from behind trash. The guards were more focused on the building crowd and with no tickets, they weren't getting in the normal way. They then spotted Thompson walking by, pulling Wendy, Nate, and Lee towards the entrance. "
"Uh! Come back, guys! Come on. The tickets were a hundred bucks. I sold my watch. You gotta come to the concert," he begged.
"Ew, and have to look at that? No, thanks," Wendy said before walking off with the boys.
Patrick and the twins glanced over to see Robbie and Tambry walking together, arms linked. Patrick grimaced. Not even he andWendy did that. "Ugh, they're doing that couple hug walk," he complained
"Guys you're in public! People can see you!" Dipper yelled to Tambry and Robbie.
"Guys, come on," Mabel whispered to them. They snuck past the guards without being seen and ran into the festival. Running around the edge of the stage, the three stopped when they saw Love God's van.
When the stage opened, Patrick and the twins quickly hid against the wall as the technician stepped out. "Love God. Soundcheck for Love God," he called before heading backstage again.
The van's trunk opens and Love God tumbled out, followed by a few empty cans of beer. Inside the van were Tyler and some random girl. "Ow. Let's make some miracles happen! Groupies, bed-head me." Tilting his head down, he chuckled as the two messed up his hair.
"Oh god, please don't tell me…" Patrick whispered, facepalming. The last thing he wanted to know was that he and Tyler had a threesome with that woman. He didn't even think that the town's enthusiast would be into that kind of thing.
"Love God's about to get crazy," Love God said, walking away with his groupies, but ran into a pole. He just laughed it off. "Whoa, hey, alright." Patrick waited until Love God was out of sight. He looked at the open trunk of the van, where Love God left his belt of love potions.
"Go." He and the twins ran to the van. Mabel jumped into the van as Dipper watched their backs. She grabbed the potions and began reading off the labels
"Here we go. Let's see. 'Puppy-love.' 'Interspecies love.' 'Love of country music.' Ew." She cringed, before coming to a potion bottle with a black potion in it. "Oh! 'Anti-love!' 'To reverse the effects of love potion simply spray on your victim and watch their heart die on the inside.'"
"Sounds good to me." Dipper grinned, as Mabel took the potion off the loop and hopped out of the vehicle.
"Let's go before he comes back," Patrick said. They turn to leave, only for Love God to be standing in front of them.
"Hey! You're the one who's been stealing my stuff. I am not loving this!" He said unhappily.
"I'm sorry, but I made a mistake and I have to fix it," Mabel pleaded.
"Kid, I tried to tell you. This stuff is way too dangerous. On my oath as a god, I cannot let you—" Patrick suddenly whacked him in the side of the head with his crowbar. Knocking him down to the ground as he yelled out in pain.
"Run for it!" Patrick yelled, and the three of them started running.
With a bruise on his left cheek, Love God started chasing after them. "Come back here!"
Seeing Love God about to get to her, Mabel turned to Dipper and threw the anti-love potion at him. "Dipper catch!"
Dipper caught the potion as he and Patrick ran onto the stage, where The Handlebar Brothers were performing. They were a group of men that had large handlebars mustaches tied together. The two Pines boys froze as they looked out at the crowd. Mabel and Love God followed closely behind.
"Get those kids!" Love God ordered the brothers.
The Handlebar Bros. stopped playing and stood in front of Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel. Halt! We mustache you to move." The cousins glanced at each other and nodded. The twins karate chopped their mustaches, causing the brothers to butt heads. Then Patrick kicked the middle one, knocking him off the stage and taking his brothers with him to the ground.
"Good one," Dipper said to Mabel and Patrick.
Patrick turned and saw the cherub approaching them. "Time to go!" He grabbed the twins and pulled them along before they dived into the audience and started crowd surfing.
"Woo!" Patrick yelled as the crowd carried him.
"Ooh! Thank you." Mabel said to the crowd, enjoying herself.
Dipper on the other hand wasn't enjoying it. "Agh! No, no, no. Everyone is touching everything!"
Looking behind them, Patrick saw Love God doing breaststrokes as he crowd surfed after the. "Give me back that potion!" He yelled, before pausing when a crowd member held up a hand for a high five. He happily did so. "Oh, hey, what's up? Here, have a cassette," he said to another crowd member, handing them a cassette.
Meanwhile, Wendy was walking around the tents, still upset over her best friend hooking up with her ex. Though she couldn't help but feel really bad for how she handled things with Patrick. Speaking of her boyfriend, she was surprised to see him and the running out of the concert and around the corner
"Patrick?" She asked, but he didn't hear her. Then Love God came running out, but fell behind them.
"Damnit!" He cursed, before trying to flap his wings. "Fly, tiny wings! Get up there!" Wendy stood there for a moment and watched in disbelief as the overweight cherub's wings slowly lifted him off the ground.
"Oh. I haven't had to use these in a long time." Love God said, continuing to chase after the cousins. Knowing that they've gotten into trouble again, Wendy followed after them.
Patrick and the twins ran through the line of different booths as they tried finding the goth couple. "Dipper, Patrick, look!" Mabel pointed ahead. The boys looked up to see Robbie and Tambry on top of a small hill on a blanket. The three of them picked up the pace as Mabel grabbed a cap of spray bottle from a stand. Taking off the can, she attached the top part onto the potion bottle. "Just one clean shot to the back of their heads and everything's fixed."
Just as they were nearing Robbie and Tambry, Love God suddenly landed right in front of them. "Sorry, kids, but you've left me no choice. Visions of heartbreak past!" He yelled, throwing down some potions that broke and summoned a pink smoke.
From the mist waked the illusions of Mabel's past crushes. The first three being Gabe, Mermando, and Norman of all people.
"We're back Mabel," said Gabe.
Sev'ral Timez walked out of the mist and sang. "We like you now."
And even the boy she met at the beginning of summer said, "Yes. Definitely. Absolutely!"
Dipper punched the illusion of the boy, making him disappear. "Ha! You really think we'd fall for that?"
Patrick deadpanned. "Oh, Dipper," he said, pointing at Mabel.
Dipper looked back and saw she was surrounded by the remaining illusions. She giggled as she looked around at all of them. "Sure you can all marry me," she said, as a pink version of Alexander Hamilton walked nearby. "Oh, the guy from the $10 bill, I forgot I had a crush on you."
"Oooooh. My. God." Patrick said exasperatedly. Knowing that she couldn't be trusted with the potion, he walked up to her and snatched it from her. "Give me that."
"Patrick?" Hearing that all too familiar voice made him pause. Patrick looked around and saw a version of Wendy appearing through the smoke.
At the same time, the real Wendy stopped a few feet away, confused and shocked by what she was seeing.
"Hey, I just want to say that I'm sorry for breaking up with you. It wasn't fair of me. Just give me the bottle and we'll be together again."
Wendy was shocked. Did he really believe she dumped him? Thinking back on how she reacted Wendy started feeling ashamed. She didn't mean it like that. She was just angry because he paired her ex and best friend. But was that really something she should have been upset at Patrick? But Patrick wouldn't fall for the illusion's words.
But then Patrick paused for a moment. "Really?"
"That's right, Patrick!" the illusion walking up to him and placing a hand on his chest. "I love you, Patrick. Let's never be apart like that again. You're the only one for me."
Wendy felt disturbed, to say the least. Seeing an alternate version of herself saying all those things to Patrick. She couldn't believe that an illusion was actually convincing him. It was all so wrong.
"Yes, I want that."
Wendy froze.
But then Patrik lifted his head up and looked at the illusion in its pink eyes. "But you're not Wendy!"
Suddenly, the illusion disappeared in a puff of smoke. As did Mabel's illusions, which she was sad about. As the pink smoke disappeared completely, Love God was revealed. Stunned that his plan had failed. He quickly recovered and glared at the kids. "Alright, that's it!" He yelled, hovering above the ground and holding up his hand.
Summoning a bow from thin air in one hand and three black arrows with heart-shaped heads. He notched the arrows and pulled the string back.
"You want heartbreak?! I'll break your hearts permanently!"
Love God aimed the arrows at them. But then the Love God was suddenly interrupted by horrible screaming from the crowd. They all looked up and saw a giant balloon in the shape of Stan coming right at them. It was on fire and had a sign that said, "I EAT KIDS!" Love God screamed in alarm before the balloon finally landed and swallowed him up.
As the crowd gathered around the balloon as a man hosed it off, Mr. and Mrs. Valentino watched from a distance.
Mr. Valentino said, "Oh, no. I hope someone didn't die."
"Yes, that would be awful," said his wife, before both laughed cheerfully.
Patrick and the twins looked nervously at the balloon as half a dozen people ran up to put out the fire. "Love God?" Patrick asked.
"Are you okay?" Dipper asked
Mabel crossed her fingers and whispered. "Please be immortal. Please be immortal."
Suddenly and with a loud gasp, Love God crawled his way out from under the wreckage. Resummoning his bow and arrows, he glared at the cousins. "Dude. I am so over this!
"Love God to the stage. Love God to the stage." the announcer called on the mic.
After a brief pause, Love God's weapons disappeared as he got back up to his feet. "Agh, look kid. Take it, okay," He said, gesturing to the potion in Patrick's hand. "Spray everyone for all I care! You wanna mess with peoples' lives? You wanna play god? Do it. 'Cus I'm sick of it." The cherub then started walking away in a sway. "Medic! I need onion rings…"
"Patrick!" Wendy called out, running over to the Pines teen.
"Wendy? Look, Wendy, I'm sorry-" Patrick was interrupted when Wendy suddenly grabbed the back of his head and mashed her lips with his. This surprised the young man, but he deepened the kiss before she pulled away from him, panting. "I-I thought you dumped me."
"No, Patrick, you were never dumped," Wendy said with tears in her eyes, looking at him with the hope he'd forgive her. "I saw everything."
"You did?"
"I'm so sorry for getting upset with you, Patrick. I shouldn't have gotten upset at you for helping Robbie. And I'm sorry for making you feel like I dumped you for it."
"I forgive you, Wendy," he said, smiling and hugging her. When he pulled away from her, Patrick looked back up at the hill where Robbie and Tambry were.
"You're still going to do it?" She asked, feeling a little uncertain.
"Yeah. You two stay here. I'll do it," he told the twins. Dipper and Mabel nodded, before Patrick ran up the hill.
When he got there, Patrick hid behind a row of bushes sitting near the edge of the hill, where Tambry and Robbie were. He peeked out from behind the bushes and saw that he had a direct line of sight to their heads and was at a good distance.
"Okay, Patrick. You can do this. They break up and the whole friend group gets back together," Patrick said to himself. Narrowing his eyes and lifting the spray bottle to have it pointing at Robbie and Tambry. A look of determination on his face as he was ready to undo the damage he and Mabel had caused. He was going to watch Robbie's heart die on the inside, just as his heart died when he gave up Wendy in the carnival and every time he traveled back in time to stop himself from giving her a black eye.
So why was he hesitating?
He didn't want to feel bad about what he was going to do. Robbie was an asshole and that was all he would ever be. It was better to end it before he hurts Tambry like he did Wendy. "It ain't you, pal, it's me," he said and was about to pull the trigger.
Hearing him, Robbie turned around and saw the Pines teenager. "Patrick!"
Having been caught before he could pull the trigger, Patrick quickly hid the potion behind his back and laughed nervously. Hoping that Robbie didn't see the spray bottle and didn't start asking about it. "Hehehe, hey. Just uh...checking to see how our newest couple was doing," he said nervously as Robbie walked over to him.
"Oh, it's really great," Robbie said genuinely with a smile. "In fact, Patrick, I just wanted to thank you...and I'm sorry."
Patrick's eyes widened. "What?"
"All those things you've said about me in the past were true. And it made me realize I was a real asshole. All I cared about was myself, and I ended up hurting Wendy," he said apologetically.
"...Are you...okay?"
"I'm better than okay, man. In fact, I've never felt better than I had in a long time. I've been so miserable since Wendy broke up with me that I thought my life was over, but your cousin was right. I just needed to move on," Robbie said, looking over at Tambry as she put hearts on a photo she had of Robbie. "Someone that means to me just as much as Wendy means to you. Someone that loved me for me. I'm... happy? Weird, huh?
"Robbie, people are commenting on our picture," Tambry called from where she was sitting. Robbie winked at Patrick and walked back towards his new girlfriend.
Patrick stood there, completely stunned by what he just heard. What the fuck just happened? Did Robbie really just say thank you, and that he was sorry? It had to be a trick or something. He really wouldn't have done that. Right?
But as he watched the two paint eyeliner on each other, Patrick started to rethink his plan to break up Robbie with Tambry. The one girl who was his current primary source of happiness and was happy to be with him. Not only that, but Tambry also seemed capable of bringing out the better part of his old enemy.
As more doubts started to snake their way into Patrick's mind, he looked down at the bottle and noticed a warning label on it. Curious, he held it up and read it out loud. "'Do not eat after midnight, do not take with milk or apple juice, potion makers are not responsible for unexpected pregnancy…' what?" Patrick questioned that last part, but as he read the last warning his eyes widened with shock.
"Effects of Love potions only last for...three hours..." Patrick trailed off as he finished, looking at Robbie and Tambry in total shock. It's been more than three hours since they ate the potion, which meant only one thing.
Robbie and Tambry do actually like each other.
He looked back down at the potion as an expression of guilt crossed his face, before sighing and letting his arm fall to his side.
Dipper, Mable, and Wendy were waiting at the foot of the hill when they saw Patrick walking back down to them. They looked up and saw that Robbie and Tambry were still together. When he approached them, Mabel asked, "You didn't go through with it?"
"No, as it turned out, the love potion you used only lasted three hours," Patrick said, handing them the label with the warning.
"Wait, so they…" Wendy trailed off.
"Actually like-like each other?" Dipper slightly cringed.
"Yep. When I saw it, it made me realize I couldn't do it," Patrick said with a small frown.
Mabel placed a hand on her cousin's arm. "I think I get it now. It's because every time we play with peoples' fates it's only made things worse," she said.
The three of them looked at the new couple. "They are kinda perfect for each other in a gross kinda way," Dipper said before turning to Wendy. "But what about our friend group?"
"Well, maybe it'll sort itself out," Wendy said, shrugging her shoulders. "If only there was something that could bring everyone back together."
Almost miraculously, Thompson showed up again wearing a jacket and hat, which was obviously used to cover up the snacks he was hiding on his body with duct tape. While holding a cake, he called out to everyone. "Guys, I made a friendship cake. So let's all get over this, okay?" But then he got hit in the head with a beach ball, causing him to drop the cake. "Ugh! My cake!" He bent down to pick it up, but then his coat ripped and fell off. Revealing the hidden snacks.
This immediately got the attention of the security guards. "Hey! Food from the outside!" Yelled one of the guards, pointing at Thompsons. They chased after Thompson, who screamed and ran away. "Get him!"
"Whoa! Hey, look!" Patrick said, as the rest of the gang, including Robbie and Tambry, walked up to them
"Is that Thompson?" Wendy asked.
They looked back at Thompson, who was hugging onto a utility pole. While one security guard blew a whistle, the other started beating on Thompson with a broom. Thompson grunted as he was struck by the object. Patrick heard laughter growing as the rest of the group gathered together to watch the hilarious scene.
"Yeah, fight the machine, Thompson!" Nate called
"Throw snacks at 'em!" Wendy cheered.
"Use jerky as a weapon!" Robbie yelled.
"Thompson!" Lee screamed.
"Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!" The teens begin chanting together while the broom swung at him. He cried out as he fell off, but managed to grab a rope and dangled down as the two security guards. Beat him like a piñata with a broom and a large stick.
As the gang continues to cheer him on, Lee stopped chanting, and then Nate. The two look at one another, before Lee playfully punched Nate's shoulder and Nate does the same. Tambry and Wendy, with Lee and Nate now, cheered together until Tambry stopped to look at her best friend. She smiled apologetically at Wendy, who stopped to do the same. Robbie looked at Wendy, who looked at him in return. Her ex-boyfriend smiled at Wendy and she smiled back apologetically. Robbie then nodded at Patrick, whose arm was around Wendy's shoulder. He grinned and nodded back. Patrick felt something on his shoulder and saw it was Wendy's head. He smiled and kissed her on the head.
"I think every just might be all right," Mabel said to Dipper.
"Maybe someone up there really is a genius matchmaker," Dipper shrugged.
"All according to plan," Thompson said on the top of the utility pole, smiling at his friends. He got hit again and his friends continued to cheer as the guards beat him senselessly.
"Should we help him?" Patrick asked.
After getting Thompson down and outrunning the guards, the teens were sitting together on the hill watching the concert. Tabitha Johansson was up next. As she played a song about oil spills, she was sitting on her bench with both legs on each side and grinding her crotch against it.
"Oh, it's hot and wet and slick~ And it's making everybody sick~," she sang breathily. "Oil spill!~...Oil spill~….Oil spill~."
Patrick cringed. "Ugh, you were right. It's not subtle," he told Mabel.
"See?" Mabel replied.
AN: I hope that everyone caught that Bob's Burgers reference. And that was the Love God chapter. Definitely a lot of drama in the chapter from the chapters, especially from our main couple.
When I started this chapter, I knew that the argument and Wendy nearly dumping Patrick were what the plot would lead to. That's why I had Patrick accompany Mabel on her matchmaking adventure. That, and because most of the plot revolved around her.
There's not really much to say, other than that we're so close to the end of the first half of season 2. Up next is the fan-favorite, "Northwest Mansion Mystery." But for now, I'm going to be working on both Living in a Frog World and The Seventh Son.
Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story and review it so that I know that I'm doing good and what to improve. If you have any questions or discussions, you'd have for me, then please in a Review or a PM me.
Thank you for reading and, in parting, I wish you all love, peace, health, God's blessing, and to have a wonderful day.