Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!
It was a late night at the shack and everyone was asleep. Patrick Pines was sleeping peacefully in his bed with Wendy under his arm. The two teens snuggled up next to each other, while Dipper was sleeping with another one of his Sibling Bros books. Mabel was sleeping with a stuffed unicorn on top of her. She squeezed it and the toy said, "Princess Lovacorn says: Buy my 42 accessories!"
Down below in the secret bedroom that used to be Patrick's, Ford was sleeping on the couch. Suddenly, his eyes shot open, and he found himself not in his room. He didn't find himself inside his own house.
Instead, he found himself standing in a dreary field of wheat that stretched for miles. In the field with him was a ruined swing set, the destroyed universe portal, and the dilapidated remains of the Stanowar around him.
Ford looked around thoughtfully, when all of a sudden, the wheat started to flattened around him into the image that the author knew all too well. The shape of a certain demon that started glowing blue, before the sounds of his maniacal laughter started echoing through the dream.
"I know that laugh…" Ford whispered in a growling tune. "Show yourself!"
He turned around as Bill Cipher materialized from the ground in a flash of blue and white light. The glowing ground returned to normal as the demon floating in the air in front of Ford.
"Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well!" Bill quipped as multiple copies of himself materialized as he talked, forming a ring around Ford who glared at him unamused. All of the Bills mirrored each other's movements. "Aren't you a sight for sore eye! Stanford Filbrick Pines, my old pal!
"Bill Cipher," Ford growled out the demon's name. His voice dripped with venom aimed at Bill. "What do you want from me?"
"Oh, quit playing dumb, IQ!" One Bill said, placing his arm around Ford's shoulder. Another Bill talked as he tasseled his hair. "You knew I'd be back!" The Bill that's talking flicked Ford's nose, before all the Bills merged into one giant Bill that floats over Ford. "You think shutting down that portal could stop what I have planned? I've been making deals, chatting with old friends, preparing for the big day! You can't keep that rift safe forever."
With a snap of his fingers, he created a copy of the dimensional rift as it appeared in his hand. "You'll slip up, and when you do...!"
Bill threw the rift onto the ground, and it violently broke. Creating a massive portal in the shape of an upside-down triangle. Inside the portal were a world of bubbling colors of crimson. And trapped within that world were nightmares beyond what humans could conceive.
The fire that outlined the portal set a blaze on the field, burning the wheat around Ford. "Get out of here!" The author shouted fiercely. "You have no dominion in our world!"
"Maybe not right now, but things change, Stanford Pines!" Bill said as his form was now entirely black against the hellish light of the portal. Ford could see his own reflection in Bill's glowing eye as the demon ascended up into the portal. "Things... CHANGE!"
Bill laughed as he flew away into the portal of untold nightmares, his deep insane laughter booming in the author's ears. Ford stood in the middle of the burning wheat field in the ring of fire, before his mind was assaulted by several images flash by at once; one of his own hand, one of his own eye, and another of what looked like an extended version of the Zodiac.
That's when Ford woke up in his bed, panting. His entire body was covered in a layer of cold sweat as he tried to catch his breath. After calming down, he adjusted his glasses. "I have to warn them!" He exclaimed, and looked at his hand. "He's coming."
{Play Stranger Things theme by Kyle Dixon Michael Stein}
The intro begins by fading in a scene of the road sign that said: "Welcome to Gravity Falls, Oregon."
We then see a view of the town of Gravity Falls, with the strangely shaped canyons in the background, and the sun going down between the two land formations. As the sun was setting, the day turned to a blue night. However, a sinister red light comes from over the horizon. Shining between the canyon.
The next scene is of a large, dinosaur footprint in the ground. It then changed to show the trees of the forest at night, and a pair of glowing eyes staring at the viewer before the camera switched to a wider shot and showed many more eyes staring at the viewer. The next scene was a far back show of two men dumping a body into the lake, and as that body sank down it was swallowed by a massive creature.
PATRICK
The teenage Pines is shown in a freeze shot of him walking in the woods with a lantern and his crowbar in hand. Behind him, Bill's eye in the sky looked down at him.
DIPPER
The male twin is looking down at the journal with a flashlight. Not noticing that there was a Pteranodon staring down at him, ready to eat him.
MABEL
The female twin is the final one to be seen, and it showed her wearing a sweater that lit up because it was plugged into an outlet. But in another, farther away shot showed Gideon's hand controlling her like she was a marionette.
The finale of the intro shows the Mystery Shack as the sun goes down behind it and the trees of the forest. When the sun went down and the night came, and just like the beginning, the red light appeared, but then a blue light shined from inside the Mystery Shack.
Then the screen went black and the title of the story appeared in a flash of light.
WEIRDER THINGS
It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared.
Chapter Thirty-Five:
The Last Mabelcorn
When Wendy woke up in the morning, she groaned a little as she opened her eyes. Laying in her bed, the redhead sat up as the sun's rays shone into her room. It was her day off from work, but she still had plans to go to the Mystery Shack. Normally she wouldn't be on her days off. But that was then, when Wendy didn't have a reason to go back to her place of work. But now she does.
After taking a nice hot shower to help wake herself up, Wendy walked out of the bathroom wearing a black tank top with a wolf on it instead of her regular white tank top under her flannel shirt. Wanting to change up her look for today, she wore gray shorts with torn cuffs along with the wolf top, with her flannel shirt tied around her waist.
Walking into the living room, she entered upon the chaos that was already in full swing. It was the usual; her brothers roughhousing and her father doing some extreme things that resulted in things around the house being broken. She sighed and tried to eat lunch in peace.
Finally, she was able to leave the house. She grabbed her bike and rode it towards the Shack. When she arrived, Wendy knocked on the front door. It took a moment for someone to answer it, but when it opened, it was opened by the one person she was here to see.
"Hello?" Patrick opened the door, only to be jumped by Wendy, who wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's neck and pulled him into an almost bruising kiss. Patrick wrapped his around her and held her close to him as he kissed back. He closed the door and pressed Wendy against the wall as the two made out.
Wendy moaned in his mouth as they rolled their tongues together for about a minute before they had to pull away. "Hey there, handsome." She said with a seductive look in her eyes.
"Hey there, beautiful," said Patrick, placing his forehead against hers. Smiling loving at her.
Wendy smiled at her boyfriend and asked, "So, what's the plan for today?"
"Well, we're off for today, so we've got all day to spend time together," Patrick said with a smile. The two lovebirds were about to make out again when Ford suddenly appeared out of nowhere with a handful of scrolls, books, and a bag.
"Ah, Patrick! There you are," Ford said, making the couple in annoyance and pull away from each other. That's when the author noticed Wendy. "Wait, what's she doing here?" He pointed at her with a look of suspicion.
"She's my girlfriend, Ford. She's got a right to be here." Patrick said with a frown. Wendy smiled at how her boyfriend stood up for her. "What are you doing up here, anyways?"
"I need to have a family meeting with all of you. Gather everyone in the living room and I'll explain everything." Ford walked past them and went into the living room, not bothering to give much else in explanation. Leaving Patrick and Wendy standing in a state of confusion.
The couple looked at one another. Looks like their plans were thrown out the window. "So...I'll get the kids and you get Stan?" Patrick asked, pointing behind him with his thumb.
"Sure." Wendy nodded. The two then split up and headed off to find the rest of the family.
Upstairs, Dipper opened up a closet door as Mabel rubbed her hands excitedly. "Alright, Grunkle Stan's gotta have some decent board games," Dipper said thoughtfully as he looked around at the stray items and board games. It was a boring day at the Shack, so they were looking for something fun to do.
"Let's see," said Mabel as he looked at each of the games and read them off. "'Battlechutes & Ladderships,' 'Necronomiconopoly,' 'Don't Wake Stalin'..."
"Hey, what's this?" Dipper asked, picking up a brown box board game that depicted two kids in the middle of a jungle, with the one on the left fleeing from a rhinoceros while the other screams at a snake. The snake was shaped to form the question mark in the title. "'What Could Go Wrong?: The Board Game. The last players who opened this box never made it out alive...'"
The two twins looked at the game in a short pause before largely coming to the same conclusion.
"Well, I know what we're doing today."
"This should take up the next 21 minutes."
"Sorry guys," said Patrick as he took the board game and placed it back into the closet, "but no board games right now."
"Ahh what?" Mabel whined. "But we're bored!"
"It's not my call. Ford's called a family meeting." Patrick told them. This got their attention.
"What? Why? Is something wrong?" Dipper asked anxiously.
"Don't know, he didn't say." With that, Patrick started walking away with the twins following behind him. While it was true that Patrick didn't know what Ford wanted to talk to them about, he knew that if the author wanted to talk to everyone in the family about it, then it must have been something important.
Meanwhile outside, Stan was meeting with another, shady looking man standing in front of a truck outside the Mystery Shack. The bed of the truck was loaded with barrels of a certain precious cargo. "Alright, Santiago." The conman said, handing off a wooden barrel of adorable pug puppies to the Spanish man. "You have 24 hours to get these pugs across the U.S. border."
Just then, Wendy opened the front door of the Mystery Shack and called out to Stan, "Uh, Mr. Pines. Your brother's calling a family meeting."
When she walked back into the house, Stan turned back to Santiago and shiftly shoved the last barrel of pugs into Santiago. "No te preocupas! Vamos! Vamos!"
Wendy walked into the living room with Patrick, Mabel, and Dipper. They found Ford over at the table with several scrolls tucked under his arm and was reading a book. Ford turned around and noticed the four, before putting the scrolls on the table.
"Ah, children. Come in, come in!" He greeted tersely, sitting down in one of the chairs.
Mabel ran over and took a seat before rummaging through his stuff. First place she looked was his bag on the table. "Ooh, mysterious scrolls and potions! Are you going to tell us we're finally of age to go to wizard school?" She asked before starting to rummage through the bag. "Is there an owl in this bag?!"
Ford quickly snatched the bag away in a rather possessive manner. "No! I can assure you if there's an owl in this bag, he's long dead."
Mabel frowned in disappointment.
"Now, children, do either of you recognize this symbol?" Ford then held up an old scroll emblazoned with the image of Bill Cipher and several hieroglyphs.
The moment they saw the triangular being on the scroll, the four kids gasped. They knew exactly what that symbol was. Each of them turned pale and their eyes widened in shock and fear.
"Bill Cipher," Patrick growled, glaring at the demon on the scroll with all the hate he had for him.
Ford was quite taken aback by this. "You... you know him?"
"Know him? That little freakshow's has been terrorizing us all summer!" Patrick exclaimed, slamming his fist on the table. "He tried to destroy Stan's mind and he possessed my body!"
"I have so many questions and theories…" Dipper said.
"Patrick and Dipper's been pretty paranoid since Bill tricked him and turned him into a living sock puppet." Mabel explained.
"The important thing is we defeated him twice," said the boy.
"Once with kittens and once with tickles!" Mabel exclaimed with a big smile.
"It was a lot more heroic than it sounds," added Patrick.
"The fact that you've dealt with Bill is gravely serious." Ford informed the kids.
Patrick looked at the others before turning back to Ford with a look of suspicion. "So, how exactly do you know Bill, Ford?" He questioned the author.
Ford paused for a moment before speaking. "I've encountered many dark beings in my time, Patrick," Ford said curtly, before his expression darkened. "That being said, as you know by now, Bill Cipher is the most dangerous threat I've ever faced. He is brilliant, ruthless, insane, and will not hesitate to kill anyone if he so much as feels like it. What's worse is that his powers are growing stronger, and if he pulls off his plans, no one in this family will be safe!"
Dipper and Mabel gasped worriedly as Wendy grabbed onto her boyfriend's hand anxiously. Patrick looked down at the table before looking back up at Ford. "How do we stop him?"
"I've got a plan for that. Fortunately, there should be a way to shield us from his mental tricks. A way to Bill-proof the Shack." Ford pulled out one of the original plans for the house and used a red marker to draw circles in specific locations. "All I have to do is place moonstones here, here, and here, sprinkle some mercury, let's see... I always forget the last ingredient!"
Ford took out Journal #1 and flips through it. When he arrived at the page he wanted, he groaned and rolled his eyes. "Ugh, unicorn hair."
"Seriously?" Wendy asked, looking at the author with scepticism. "You're trying to tell me that unicorns are real?"
"Would you really be surprised?" Patrick asked with a smirk.
"That's not, like, rare, is it?" Dipper asked.
"It's hopeless." Ford looked at Journal #1 and adjusted his glasses. "Unicorns reside deep within an enchanted glade, and their hairs can only be obtained by a pure good-hearted person who goes on a magical quest to find them." He showed them the entry in his book to prove his point. "Veronica was the one that got the hair the last time. Since she's coming back today, we should wait for her to get it-"
The author was suddenly and abruptly cut off when Mabel let out a loud, shrill scream of excitement. "Grunkle Ford, can I please go on this quest?!" Mabel asked with a large, eager grin on her face as she hopped out of her chair. "I am literally obsessed with unicorns! My first word was unicorn, I once made my own unicorn by taping a traffic cone to a horse's head."
"Didn't that get you banned from that petting zoo?" Patrick asked.
"That doesn't matter! Are you even looking at the sweater I'm wearing right now?!" She yelled, pointing to her sweater that had a picture of a unicorn on it. "Not to mention that I'm probably the most pure of heart person in this room."
"That's true, she has a point." Ford agreed.
"Got no argument from me." Wendy said.
"I can't argue there." Dipper sighed.
"Mmm, not really." Patrick, however, said.
"Yeah-wait, what?!" Mabel questioned, looking at her cousin with a look of disbelief.
"Not to rain on your parade, but you haven't exactly been on your best behavior, Mabel," explained the young man with a frown.
"Yes I have! And I'll prove you wrong by getting that hair!" Mabel exclaimed with a confident smirk before turning back to Ford. "So can I go on this mission? Please please please? I'LL GIVE YOU MY BLOOD!" She yanked her sleeve back and held up her arm.
Seeing no other options, Ford stood up. "Very well. But it won't be easy. Take this." He said, giving Journal #1 to his niece. "And this." He then handed Mabel a loaded crossbow.
"Oooh!" Mabel said in awe, eagerly taking the weapon.
"Uh, are you sure you should be giving that to her?" Patrick asked, slightly worried about someone like Mabel holding the weapon.
"I haven't been in this dimension for a while. It's okay to give children weapons, right?" Ford asked.
"Pssh, come on, dawg." Mabel remarked with a casual wave of her hand. But then her finger slipped on the trigger and the crossbow fired. The arrow flew off the weapon and through the window, setting off Stan's car alarm.
"AH! IT'S THE COPS! GUN IT!" Stan shouted frantically before Santiago drove away accompanied by the sound of Pugs yapping.
"Umm...on second thought, why don't I go with you, Mabel?" Patrick said, standing up. Ready to go on the adventure when Mabel stopped him.
"No way, cuz. We're going to go searching for a unicorn. Meaning this is a girl's mission!" Mabel said, pointing to Wendy with a big smile on her face.
"Woo! Girl's mission!" Wendy cheered, giving Mabel a high-five. She then turned to her concerned boyfriend and reassured him. "Don't worry, I'll keep her out of danger."
Mabel pulled out her phone and dialed it. "Candy, Grenda, clear the afternoon!" She yelled, running out of the room with Wendy chasing after her.
"We'll be back soon!" Wendy shouted back at the boys before shutting the door behind her. Leaving Patrick and Dipper with Ford.
"Good luck," yelled Patrick, wishing his girlfriend and cousin safety on their quest.
"So, what are the odds she gets that hair?" Dipper asked Ford.
"Unlikely," said the author with a frown. "When Veronica comes back, we'll need her to help the girls get that hair. We've dealt with unicorns before, and if I had to describe them in one word it would be... frustrating."
"So if they can't get that hair, then what are we gonna do about Bill?" Patrick asked him.
After considering it for a moment, Ford looked at the boys. "Follow me."
Patrick and Dipper did as Ford ordered and followed Ford into the gift shop. Dipper changed the sign on the Mystery Shack to closed, before the author opened the door behind the vending machine. The three of them got into the elevator, however, instead of going down into the basement on the third floor, Ford took them to the second floor.
Then the elevator door opened, revealing a well-crafted wooden door. Ford opened it and led the boys into a large room that had walls of bookshelves and old, yet interesting artifacts and machinery strewn about everywhere. In the back of the room was a large screen with smaller sets branching out of it.
Patrick walked into the room with Dipper and looked around in absolute amazement at the impressive hideout. "Where are we?"
"Welcome to my private study, a place where I keep my most ancient and secret knowledge. Even your uncle Stan doesn't know about this place, however, Veronica did," explained Ford as he walked towards the computers. Dipper followed close behind him, but Patrick stopped when he noticed a rectangular object covered by a sheet. Curious to see what was under it and why it was covered up, Patrick reached out to uncover the object when Ford urgently called him. "Patrick, come along!"
"So what exactly are we doing down here?" Patrick asked as Ford stood in front of the computer. "And what's with all the computers?"
"This is another one of the projects that I worked on with the Office of Paranormal Investigations; Project Mentem. If we can't Bill-proof the Shack, we're going to have to do the next best thing ..." Ford pulled open a drawer and pulled out a strainer-like helmet with large wires coming out of it and metal strips to clamp around the wearer's head.
"We're gonna have to Bill-proof our minds."
Why did today have to turn into this? All Wendy wanted to do was spend some quality time with her boyfriend, which she always wanted to do, seeing how their time together was now about to end. But no, now she was walking through the forest with Mabel and her friend to find a mythical animal that likely didn't even exist. It wasn't all that bad, as Mabel was one of the favorite people in the world.
As they ventured into the depths of the forest with only the first journal acting as their guide, Wendy stuck close to the younger girls. Going on this mission reminded her of looking after her three younger brothers.
"It's nice to finally be out on a mission, just us gals!" Mabel quipped as she led the way with eagerness.
"Forget the gal talk! I'm here to meet, touch, and/or become a unicorn!" Grenda cried with determination.
"I hear if you lick a unicorn's neck, it tastes like your favorite flavor in the world!" Candy added enthusiastically.
Mabel wrapped her around her friend's shoulder. "Candy, I will make sure you lick that unicorn's neck, because I care about my friends," the young girl with heavy resolve.
"Honestly, I stopped believing in unicorns when I was like, five years old," Wendy remarked, casually cutting some branches away with her axe. "I'm just coming along to keep you kids from walking into a bear trap."
"Stop!" Mabel suddenly exclaimed, bringing the group to a halt.
They had reached a rather beautiful glade in the forest that was filled with ancient stone monuments with spiral-like symbols on them and some that took on the appearance of stone hedges. The grass was healthy and green, with flowers all around and a river running through it.
"This is the magic part of the forest," said the girl twin before opening Journal #1. "Let's see, the gnome tavern is over there, the fairy nail salon is over there, but it says that to summon the unicorn, one must bellow this ancient chant droned only by the deepest-voiced druids of old."
"On it!" Grenda said, rushing over and grabbing the journal from Mabel. Standing in the center of the glade, the large girl cleared her throat before doing the chant. "Oy-oyoy-oyoyoyoy…"
"I bet you ten bucks nothing happens," deadpanned Wendy.
"I'll take that bet." Mabel said with a smirk.
Suddenly, the ground below them started to violently shake, causing them to gasp. As it turned out, Grenda's droning actually worked, as a massive stone structure began to rise up from the ground. The castle-like fortress towered over the girls, before Wendy cautiously walked towards the large wooden doors. The younger girls excitedly joined her and they all pushed open the doors, entering into a large dreamlike and enchanted forested area, with lots of rainbows, streams and trees. A faun played a pan flute nearby, making the scenery even more magical.
And sitting in front of the waterfall was unquestionably the creature they've come to find. The unicorn before them was blue-tinted with a horn that glowed pink and red. Her mane was multicolored, with purple, blue, pink, yellow, and green locks. Her hooves were pink and had white tufts of hair coming from right above the hoof, and she had three blue sparkles on her rear. Her tail had hair only at the tip, and it was the same style and color as her mane.
When the unicorn noticed the presence of the humans, she tossed her mane and let out a mighty neigh as she opened her eyes. Her eyes were overly large and purple and had long eyelashes.
"The paintings airbrushed on the sides of vans were true!" Mabel gushed at the unicorn.
"Mother of mothers!" Grenda cried.
"Queen of dreams!" Candy squealed.
"No fucking way." Wendy scowled, especially when Mabel reached her hand up towards Wendy and made a grabbing motion. The redhead groaned and begrudgingly gave her a ten-dollar bill.
The unicorn reared her head. "Hark! Visitors to my realm of enchantment!" She cried in surprise, communicating through her glowing pink horn.
Both Mabel and Candy gasp, and while Grenda was doing the same thing a butterfly flew straight into her mouth, causing her to gag. Wendy quickly helped her out by hitting her on the back and getting the butterfly to come out of her mouth.
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! What's your name?" Mabel asked excitedly.
"I am Celestabellebethabelle, last of my kind," said the unicorn before gesturing with her head to come forth. "Come in, come in. Just, take off your shoes. I have a whole thing about shoes."
Wendy remained standing with her arms crossed as Candy, Grenda and Mabel took off their shoes. The redhead was none too enthused about the encounter with the unicorn and just wanted to get the quest over with. When the girls were done, Wendy was about to follow them when Celestabellebethabelle quickly noticed her shoes and called her out on it. "Ah, ah! I'm talking to everyone!"
Wendy begrudgingly took off her shoes and threw them to the ground before joining the girls.
Mabel approached the unicorn with an eager smile. "Celestabellebethabelle, we have journeyed far and wide-"
"About an hour!" Grenda added.
"On a mission to protect our family with your magical hair!" Mabel finished.
Meanwhile, Candy was standing next to Celestabellebethabelle and leaned towards her neck. "This is your chance, Candy. Lick the neck. Lick it…" she whispered to herself as she stuck out her tongue and tried to lick it, but failed as Celestabellebethabelle stood her neck straight up.
"Very well. To receive a lock of my enchanted hair, step forth, girl of pure perfect heart." Celestabellebethabelle exclaimed as her mane flowed in the wind.
Mabel glanced back at Wendy, who gave her a thumbs up. With confidence strong in her heart, Mabel strutted forward. "Presenting: bum buh da bum bum ba bum bum!" She kneeled down. "Mabel!"
Celestabellebethabelle stared at the young girl for a moment with her big eyes staring into Mabel's. "What? You?" She asked rather harshly, as if offended by that claim. This confused Mabel. "A unicorn can see deep inside your heart, child." The unicorn pointed the tip of her horn at Mabel and a heart-shaped glow appeared brightly on her chest. This made the young girl cover her chest with her arms. "And you have done wrong. WRONG I say!"
"W-Wait, Patrick was right?" Mabel gasped, confused and distraught as she tried to figure out just what it was that made her not pure of heart. She didn't need to think too hard. "Then again...I guess I do make fun of Dipper a lot. Plus...there was that whole puppet show thing with Bill...And I did just shatter a window with a crossbow..."
"Your bad deeds make me cry!" Celestabellebethabelle sobbed as her eyes welled up, and a tear landed on a flower, killing it as it burned to a crisp.
"NOOO!" Mabel cried in horror.
"Come back when you're PURE OF HEART. NEEEIIGGGHH!" Celestabellebethabelle let out another overly dramatic neigh, only to pause for a brief moment as Wendy and the others looked at her rather incredulously. "Exit is that way. Shoes, shoes, take your shoes. This isn't some... some... shoe store."
And with that, the girls left the fortress and the gates to Celestabellebethabelle's home closed behind them. Wendy, Candy, and Grenda wore sour expressions on their faces when they left, especially after the cold words that the unicorn said to their friend.
"Well, that was a bunch of bullshit," Wendy said.
As for Mabel, the young girl was fighting to hold back the tears after being called out by the unicorn. Seeing this, Wendy walked over and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, Mabel, don't let her get to you," Grenda said.
"Yeah, I wouldn't trust a horse that wears makeup," Wendy scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"No, girls, she's right," said Mabel, "I used to be one of the sweetest people I knew, but recently I've been slacking in the whole goodness department. Well, today we're gonna fix it. From this moment forth I'm gonna do so many good deeds, I'll have the purest heart in Gravity Falls!" With that, she pumped her fist in the air, only to accidentally punch a bird out of the air and making it fall onto the ground. Wendy, Candy, and Grenda opened their mouths in minor shock as Mabel stared at the bird in slight shock. "...That... that bird is fine."
Back at the Mystery Shack, Ford wasted no time in starting up the machine. Dipper volunteered to go first, so Ford hooked the boy up to the mind machine with the bulky helmet. Patrick stood near him, watching the process as Ford calibrated the machine for Dipper's brain. Seeing this as the best time to get some answers out of the author, Patrick turned to him.
"So what exactly is Bill?" Patrick asked. "Is he a demon, or like...a super fucked up god?"
"Heh, that's one way of putting it." Ford chuckled. That would be one way of describing certain people he knew. His expression turned back to being serious. "But no. No one knows for sure. Accounts differ of his true motivations and origins."
Ford handed him a file that was entitled 'the Cipher File'. Patrick knelt down to allow Dipper to see. Within the folder were old documents. The first one was of images of a pot and a barn house that had images of Bill. The next was of a document about the Great Pyramids, The Eye of Providence, and what appeared to be a cult leader. The next was something called the Alligans Contractus, in which Bill made a deal with a man from Ancient Greece. The final document was a drawing that showed our world and Bill's nightmare realm, with the Mind Scape in the middle.
"I know he's older than our galaxy and far more twisted. Without a physical form, he can only project himself into our thoughts through the mindscape. That's why he wants this." Ford helds up the interdimensional rift, as the boys looked at it with apprehensiveness. "I dismantled the portal, but with this tear, Bill still has a way into our reality. To get his hands on this rift, he would trick or possess anyone."
"So how do we keep Bill out of our minds?" Dipper asked intently.
"Well, there's a number of ways. I personally had a metal plate installed in my head."
"Heheh. Good one." Dipper chuckled, only for Ford to knock the side of his head, making a metallic sound. This made his nephew cough and clear his throat awkwardly.
"But this machine is safer," the author continued, looking at the many screens behind them. "It will scan your mind, bioelectrically encrypting your thoughts so that Bill can't read them." Ford then turned on the screens with his remote. "Now say hello to your thoughts."
All at once, the machine started to show various images and words that were all from Dipper's thoughts. They were all put on display for everyone in the room to see and hear.
"Oh, man, I can't believe I'm with the author. Is my fly down? DISCO GIRL! COMING THROUGH! Pacifica! Pacifica! Pacifica! Pacifica!"
Patrick gave his cousin a sly smirk. "Care to explain yourself?"
"You might wanna... ignore that last one…" Dippe said, quite flustered.
"Why does Bill want to come into this world?" Patrick asked Ford, getting back to figuring out more about the threat they were facing. "He said something about big plans that he didn't want us to screw up, so what's up with that?"
Ford looked away with a scowl. "I'm not certain, but whatever it is, it can't be good," said the author, but Patrick didn't believe him for a second. Ford then turned back to him. "Any more questions?"
"Yeah. How did Bill know about the rift in the first place?" Patrick asked, before pointing his finger at him. "And what exactly is your history with him?"
Ford quickly placed his hands on Patrick's shoulder's and leaned into him. "Patrick, do you trust me?" He asked with a serious expression.
"Yeah-"
"Then you'll trust that that's not important. I want you to wait upstairs for when it's your turn." The author quickly said, guiding Patrick back to the elevator. "Once Dipper's mind is strengthened, it'll be your turn."
And with that, he closed the door to his study. Patrick sighed in frustration and hit the button for the first floor. He didn't like that Ford was dodging the question. Not one bit. Especially when the author quite literally pushed him out of his study. He was hiding something about Bill. But what? Patrick pondered more on that as he reached the top of the stairs and exited out of the secret door.
Just then, the door to the gift shop opened and he was surprised to see Veronica walking in. "Patrick, dear! How are you doing? Give granny some sugar!" Veronica hurried over to her grandson and pulled him into a hug, before giving him many kills on the cheek.
"Haha, hey, Grandma! How are you doing?" He asked after she let him go.
"I'm doing great. It was nice to finally spend time with your mother after so many years. Oh, and she said that the pregnancy is going well," said the old woman with a smile. "So, how's everything going?"
Patrick's smile fell as he explained everything that happened. That Bill was back and was growing stronger. However, he didn't tell her about the rift. Just that Ford was using Project Mentum on Dipper at the moment. When he was done explaining, she sat down on a barrel with a frown.
"Bill's back huh?" she asked with great concern. After facing Bill the last time, she wasn't all too eager to face the demon once again.
"Yeah, and Ford's trying to Bill-proof our minds in case Mabel and the girls don't come back with the unicorn hair," Patrick said, leaning against one of the shelves.
"T-The unicorns!?" Veronica gasped, completely appalled by the mention of their name. "Ford sent a girl like Mabel to go and get hair from the unicorns? Is he nuts?"
"You know about the unicorns?"
"Know them? I've dealt with them! Unicorns are nothing more than trouble! Always have been. They're self-entitled, aggravating, and a nuisance. Why little girls love them so much and why older men watch a tv show with unicorns in them is a complete mystery to me." She said, rolling her eyes.
"So, wait, does that mean that they're in danger?" Patrick asked.
"Ha! No. But knowing who they'll meet, they'll never get that hair. I've better go find them." Veronica stood up and walked out the door. If she was lucky, she could stop them from falling for the unicorns' tricks.
But she would be too late. Mabel was standing on the sidewalk walking towards the town Gravity Falls. The young girl had a look of confidence on her as she held a pen and paper.
"Alright, Mabel, it's time to strengthen your heart!" She declared with a single goal. To help out as many people as she could and to become worthy of that hair. And with the other girls to back her up and cheer her on, this plan was sure to work.
Mabel picked snails off the sidewalk and put them safely on large grass. She dug a hole and Grenda planted a new tree in it. Unfortunately they did it in front of the back door of the Gravity Falls Gossiper office, and when Toby Determined tried to come outside, the tree had blocked him from opening the door. Sneaking back into the Mystery Shack without Patrick noticing, they placed a giant smiley face sticker on Stan's face, which covered his mouth and nose. With no way of getting air, he started screaming and accidentally broke his lamp in the process. Mabel went as far as to donate three pints of blood, before fainting from blood loss. From there, they covered several more good deeds, like stopping traffic for some ducks to cross, painting glitter on the statue of Nathaniel Northwest, filling Lazy Susan's tip jar, and helping a woman with her groceries.
After so many hours of no stop good doing, Mabel's long list of good deeds was complete. She looked at her checklist of good deeds and saw all of them crossed off. "Boom! A thousand good deeds," Mabel exclaimed happily as the others cheered for her. "When that unicorn scans my heart, she's gonna say I'm absolutely, one hundred percent, bona fide-"
"Not pure of heart!" Celestabellebethabelle said after the group returned to her home.
"Booyah! Wait, what?" Mabel asked in disbelief.
"How is that even possible?" Wendy asked incredulously. "Mabel spent the entire afternoon helping people. She's a straight up saint, you judgmental hoofbag!"
"Please, tell me what I'm doing wrong!" Mabel begged, falling to her knees in distraught.
"Doing good deeds to make yourself look better isn't good at all." Celestabellebethabelle remarked harshly. "Not to mention you're crushing, like, ten dandelions right now. Those are basically children's dreams."
Looking down, Mabel saw that she was indeed crushing a bunch of dandelions with her knees. She gasped in horror before quickly getting off the dandelions.
"I'm sorry, Mabel. It's not my fault you're a bad person."
Candy, Grenda and Wendy all gasped at that remark, but it was Mabel that took it the hardest. Unable to take the brutal criticisms any more, Mabel's eyes welled up with tears before running away as she let out heartbroken sobs.
"Mabel, wait! Come back!" Wendy called out to her, but it was no use.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a 3 o'clock posing in front of a rainbow." Celestabellebethabelle said, trotting over to a rainbow and posing in front of it. "NeigheighEIGHEIGHeigheigh!"
As she posed, Wendy glared at the unicorn in disguise at Celestabellebethabelle's cruel attitude towards her friend. The redhead wanted nothing more than to jump the horse and rip out a cunch of her hair with her bare hands. But right now, she had more urgent matters to attend to.
Wendy led Candy and Grenda over to where Mabel was. Curled up in a miserable ball, Mabel wept quietly. The girls walked up to her and tried to comfort her.
"Come on, Mabel. Don't beat yourself up about this." Wendy said earnestly. "We'll find another way to protect the Shack."
"Let's forget about getting that dumb unicorn hair," advised Candy.
"It's not about the hair anymore, guys. It's about me," said Mabel. Sniffling, she sat up right and pulled out her list of now failed good deeds. "Being kind and sweet is what makes me who I am. If I'm not a good person, who am I? I'm not leaving this spot until I think of a deed that makes me as good as Celestabellebethabelle."
"But, Mabel…"
"Just leave me be!" Mabel pleaded in somber frustration, turning her back on her friends and began writing down possible deeds.
While Candy and Grenda were at a loss over what to do to comfort their friend, Wendy decided she'd had enough. She wasn't going to let Mabel beat herself up for this anymore.
"Pst." Wendy ushered Candy and Grenda away. They walked over to a nearby tree, far enough away from Mabel so she couldn't hear them. "Alright guys, this has gone on for long enough. Next to Patrick, Mabel's like the best person I've ever met, and this whole thing is a serious load of bullshit." She said with a deep scowl.
"You're right on that, Wendy," said a familiar voice. The girls turned to see Veronica walking towards them with a slight frown on her face.
"Veronica? How long have you been here?" Wendy asked, surprised to see Patrick's grandmother.
"I just got here, but I can already tell what happened. I was hoping to stop you girls from falling victim to Celestabelle's tricks," Veronica said, not bothering to say the unicorn's full name. She looked at her great-niece with sympathy. "But it looks as though I'm too late."
"Tricks?" Wendy asked. "You're saying that Celestabellebethabelle is…"
"She's scamming you all," revealed the former director, to the shock of the other girls. "C-Beth has used this same tactic all the time when someone comes for her hair. No matter how many times she tries to prove herself, she's always going to tell Mabel that she's not pure of heart. All the way until Mabel gives up and leaves."
"That total bitch! I knew there was something up with her!" Wendy growled, punching and rubbing her left fist against her right hand. Wanting nothing more than to rip apart the unicorn.
"Easy, now honey." Veronica said, placing her hand on Wendy's shoulder. "You'll get your chance to get revenge on C-Beth. But this time, we're going to do this my way."
"Are you suggesting violence? Sabotage?" Grenda asked.
"Mabel's not going to like that." Candy said nervously.
"Mabel doesn't need to know," said Wendy with a determined glare. "I say we go with Veronica's way if it means getting that hair and putting that horse in her place. It's time we stop trying to be so 'perfect' and be who we really are. We're crazed, angry, sweaty animals! We're not unicorns, we're WOMEN! AND WE TAKE WHAT WE WANT!" Wendy punched her fist into a tree, which brought down a couple of leaves down to the ground.
"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" Candy and Grenda cheered excitedly as Veronica smirked satisfyingly. Her grandson really did pick a wonderful young woman.
The moment was only stopped when an overly excited Grenda picked up a large rock and smashed it on her forehead. The others looked at her with startled looks as the large girl calmed down. "Too much?"
Veronica huddled the girls together. "Alright, here's the plan..."
The most popular gnome tavern in all of Gravity Falls was a place called Gnasty's. It was your usual tavern that served honeysuckle for gnomes to get drunk on and often visited by some of them no nefarious gnomes in the forest. However, none of them were as prepared for when the door was kicked open by Wendy.
"It's the cops! Hit the deck!" a gnome cried out as another Gnome flung himself out the window.
"Calm down boys!" Veronica said as she crawled into the small tavern. "We want to hurt no one! We're looking for someone who knows how to take down a unicorn!"
"And there better be no tricks or games!" Wendy shouted fiercely.
Candy grabbed a glass bottle and smashed it on the table, creating a weapon. "We are human! We take what we want!"
"YEAH!" Grenda exclaimed.
"Fairy dust," said a rather shady, grizzled looking gnome sitting in the darkened corner of the tavern. "A whole magic bag's enough to put a unicorn out cold. But if I do you a favor, you gotta do something for me. A trade."
"What kind of trade?" Veronica asked.
He leaned forward and talked in a low and discreet voice. "Butterfly trafficking is illegal in this part of the forest, but I like butterflies. They tickle my face and make me laugh. Bring me a bag of butterflies and we got a deal."
The girls glanced at one another and nodded. But Veronica wasn't about to let this creep get away with keeping butterflies all to himself. Butterflies were an important part of the forest, and thus they were an important part to the gnomes and their survival. But she had another plan for this gnome.
Fortunately, it didn't take them long to catch some butterflies. With the butterflies ready, they went back to Gnasty's. As Veronica and Grenda performed the trade, Wendy and Candy hid out in the nearby bushes. They watched as the old woman and the large girl walked over to the shady gnome. Their manners were just as unsuspecting as the gnome's. Veronica nodded to Grenda, prompting her to hand over the bag of butterflies to him.
"Two bags of fairy dust, just like we agreed," said the gnome, turning over two small pouches.
Grenda handed one of the pouches to Veronica. The old woman opened the pouch and saw it was filled with a pink, glittering dust. "If you don't mind me asking, where do you get this stuff?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Fairies don't just give this stuff away for free, you know."
"Everyone likes sausage, but no one likes to know how it's made," said the gnome with a dark grin as he looked at his jar of butterflies.
"You disgust me." Grenda glared.
"You got your poison; I got mine; we made a deal."
"Yeah, well, the deal is OFF!" Grenda yelled, as Veronica pulled out her gun and aimed it at the shady gnome. Just them, an entire squadron from the Gnome Police Department sprung out of the bushes. Luckily Veronica still had some pull with the cops, so they were able to stage a sting that went according to plan.
"Freeze! You're under arrest! Get down! Get down!" shouted the police chief as the shady gnome dropped the butterflies and raised his arms up.
"These butterflies aren't mine! I swear! I've been framed!" he cried as he was cuffed and dragged away.
"Tell it to the adorable owl we've dressed as a judge." the chief said as he was hauled away. He then held out his hand to Grenda. "My cut." Grenda gave him the bag of fairy dust she had. Just as they'd agreed upon.
"Has gnome society always been this corrupt?" Wendy asked the former agent.
"You have no idea." Veronica sighed.
When they returned to the home of the unicorn, it was already nighttime. Mabel was still in the same spot near the stream, trying to think of more good deeds to accomplish. "Good deeds. Good deeds. Aww that's not good enough! Come on, Mabel, you can do better than that!" She berated herself as the others sneaked past her.
Wendy ran over to the open door of the fortress and peaked inside. Celestabellebethabelle was distracted, reading a book called Whinny, Pray, Trot. She turned and signalled for the others to come in. Veronica, Candy, and Grenda slipped into the magical domain before Wendy went in after them. The agent signalled for the girls to get into position. As they sneaked behind a row of rocks and trees, Veronica approached the unicorn. Time to put the plan into action.
"Oh sure, sure, I wish I could travel, but it's just not feasible in this economy." Celestabellebethabelle huffed to herself. However, her peacefulness ended when she noticed a figure walking towards her. "Who goes there!"
Emerging out of the shadows, Veronica glared at Celestabellebethabelle with a cold stare with her hands behind her back. "Hello, Celestabellebethabelle."
The unicorn seemed rather surprised to see the old woman, before a smug look formed on her snout. "Well, well, well, if it isn't none other than the non-pure of heart Veronica Pines. So good to see you again."
"Don't play coy with me, C-Beth. I know what you've been doing to my niece, and it's not cool," Veronica said.
"It's Celestabellebethabelle, and you'll do well to remember it!" The unicorn snapped as she shot up to her hoofs. "And I thought I'd made it clear last time that you and your Office of Paranormal Investigations were not welcome in my domain!"
"Sorry to break it to you, C-Beth, but I'm retired. Meaning that the rules don't apply to me anymore," said the old woman with a smirk. "You might think that you have some sort of authority over a person's character, but if you think I'm going to let you tear down my niece, then you've got another thing coming. Now I'm going to give you this one chance to do the right thing and hand over that hair."
"Really? And what would you do if I don't?" Celestabellebethabelle asked smuggly.
Veronica grinned. "Then I'll do the same thing I did last time. NOW!"
Out of nowhere, the unicorn was hit in the head by the bag of fairy dust. "What the hay?!" That was all she said before the magical substance took it's tow and knocked her out cold.
The faun that had watched the scene play out on the sideline now started nervously playing a S.O.S in morse code on his pipes. Grenda quickly put an end to that by popping out from behind and putting a towel dosed in coliform over its mouth. "Sleep now! Sleeeeep." She whispered and pulled the faun away as it lost consciousness.
The others hurried over to the fainted unicorn. Veronica pulled out a pocket knife and flicked it open. "Care to do the honors?" She asked Wendy.
"With pleasure." Wendy nodded, taking the knife and grabbing some of Celestabellebethabelle's hair. She was about to cut off her hair when they were stopped by none other than Mabel.
"No wait! Stop!" Mabel cried, rushing over to them. "You can't do this!"
"We have to!" Veronica whispered. "Mabel, she's never going to give up her hair."
"Yeah, she's right, Mabel!" Wendy whispered. "We've got no choice, so keep it down! You'll wake her up!"
"But this is wrong, guys!" Mabel exclaimed, taking the knife away from the cashier without cutting herself.
"But protecting the Shack is good." Wendy rationalized.
"Mabel, there's something you have to know about…" Before Veronica could finish, Celestabellebethabelle suddenly began to stir from her slumber and raised her head up. That's when she saw Mabel with the knife.
"What? Doth mine eyes deceive me?" The unicorn gasped, before furiously rising to her feet and stomping her hoof. "THIEF! You shall never be pure of heeeaart!"
"No! You don't understand!" Mabel cried as she looked at the unicorn pleadingly. In the end, she collapsed to her knees and sobbingly begged the outraged unicorn. "I just want to be good like you!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you gotta be kidding me."
Confused, everyone turned towards the source of the voice, just as two male unicorns emerged from the other side of the trees. One was red and the other was blue, and neither of them looked amused at all. The blue unicorn said, "Yo, C-beth, are you seriously pulling this "pure of heart" scam again?"
"That is messed up, man," said the red unicorn.
"Wait, scam?" Mabel asked.
"Hold on, you're not the last unicorn," asked Wendy.
"Like hell she is," said the red unicorn as he put his hoof to his head for a moment before talking to Mabel. "Look, kid, unicorns can't see into your heart. All our dumb horns can do is glow, point towards the nearest rainbow and play rave music." He then started to play rave music, which he bobbed his head to before turning it off.
"Yeah, the whole 'pure of heart' crap is just a line we use to get humans to leave us alone." The blue unicorn said.
"Guuuyys. Shut uuupp." Celestabellebethabelle whispered nervously as her entire scheme fell apart.
Mabel looked at the rainbow-haired in disbelief. "But...then…"
"I'm sorry you had to learn about it this way, Mabel," said Veronica as she placed her hand on her shoulder.
"But...But how did you know?" Mabel asked, trying to understand what was happening.
"Because I fell for the scam before, Mabel." Veronica revealed, surprising her niece. "It was a long time ago, and I needed her hair for a little project I was working on. I tried everything to prove I was 'pure of heart', but it was never enough. That's when I realized it was never going to end. So, I…" She took the pocket knife back from Mabel. "...took matters into my own hands."
This, coupled with the realization that she was taken advantage of and made a fool of by the unicorns caused Mabel's blood to boil with anger. "All this time," she said as she looked at the notepad with 'Mabel's Sins' written on it. She shook with rage as she crushed the list in her hands. "All this time I thought I was a bad person. But you're even worse than I am!" She yelled, throwing the notepad onto the ground. Her fists tightening up into fists as she glared at Celestabellebethabelle .
"Okay, fine!" Celestabellebethabelle huffed haughtily. "So you learned our secret. We're jerks, okay? We have more hair than we know what to do with, and we keep it to ourselves just to tick humans off. What are you gonna do about it, huh, huh? What are ya gonna DO-Oh!"
Mabel suddenly and brutally punched Celestabellebethabelle in the face, drawing some of her rainbow-colored blood. Everyone gasped, shocked by the sudden attack. Even Mabel was stunned she'd ever do that as she stared at her blood-covered hand.
"WHOO! Hell yeah, Mabel!" Wendy cheered after recovering from the shock.
"Join the dark side!" Grenda exclaimed.
Having had enough of unicorns, Mabel growled as she viciously tore the unicorn image off of her sweater and threw it to the ground. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Candy, Grenda and Wendy chanted.
Celestabellebethabelle wiped the blood away from her nose and snorted with a glare. "Oh. So it's a fight you want. Well, then it's a fight you're gonna get!"
"Good," said Veronica with a vengeful smirk, flipping out the blade of her knife. Wendy pulled her axe out of its hoster as Grenda grabbed a nearby log to use for her weapon. "Because we're not leaving without that hair."
Without any further adieu, the humans and the unicorns charged at each other. Meeting in a violent clash.
Laying back in Stan's love chair, Patrick gasped as he shot up. Walking up from his nap after he got this weird feeling that something big was going down and he wasn't there for it. Standing up, he walked over the window and saw that the sun had gone down and it was already night.
"Jesus," he whispered to himself before heading towards the gift shop. It's been several hours since he left Dipper and Ford down in the private study.
When he arrived at the study, he opened the door and saw that they weren't done. The screen of the mind machine showed that it was only 15% done with Dipper's brain. Ford was asleep at his desk, laying his head on his arms over his notes. Dipper was still in the chair, but looked like he was about to fall asleep.
"You still awake, Dip?" Patrick gave him a soft nudge on the shoulder.
"Huh?" Dipper snapped his head up, before calming down when he saw it was his cousin. "Yeah. What time is it?" he asked, stretching his arms.
"It's already dark outside," Patrick said, sitting on a cabinet.
"Ugh, this is taking forever," Dipper groaned when he saw how much progress was made. "I've been sitting here for hours and I'm still nowhere close to being done!"
They looked over at Ford, who was still asleep. Even when Patrick walked in, it didn't wake him. "He tell you anything else about Bill?" Patrick asked, still looking at the author.
"No," Dipper sighed, sharing the same frustration Patrick felt. "Why does he have to be so mysterious about Bill? I can handle the truth. I-I mean, we can handle it."
"I wonder what Great-uncle Ford is thinking."
"Huh?" Patrick glanced behind him, seeing and hearing Dipper's thoughts on the screen of the machine.
"Use the machine! It'll show you his thoughts."
Patrick looked back at Dipper with a raised eyebrow. "You really want to use this thing on him?" He asked.
"I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't…" Dipper said in apparent hesitation, but his thoughts said otherwise.
"He won't know. He's going to tell you eventually. The more you know about Bill, the more you can help."
Patrick looked back at Ford, his scowl deepening. Dipper was right, or at least his thoughts were right. With Bill growing in power, they needed to know everything about the sociopath if they wanted to stay safe from him. Ford not telling them about it was only going to lead to more problems.
Ford was hiding something about Bill, and it was time to find out what.
"Hold still." Patrick walked around the back of Dipper and removed the helmet from his head. The machine went silent as it was no longer reading Dipper's thoughts. "He's not going to tell us anything about Bill, Dipper. Not willing."
Dipper didn't stop him as Patrick walked to the author and set the helmet down on Ford's head. After he finished securing the helmet onto him, Patrick turned back towards the monitor of the mind machine.
"It's time to know what you're hiding about Bill," said Patrick.
The answer was more horrifying than anything either him or Dipper could have imagined.
The very first thing to appear on screen was none other than Bill Cipher himself, floating in front of his blue flames and cackling like the madman he was.
The screen changed to Stanford moving around in his sleep as he suffered through a tormenting nightmare, while one of the smaller screens showed the portal and Fiddleford McGucket harshly shaking and yelling at Ford. "Where are these ideas coming from? Who are you working with?!"
"I know that you didn't get those blueprints on your own. Someone helped you make them." Veronica's voice said as Ford wrote "I'M LOSING," "MY MIND," and "TRUST NO ONE" in the pages of Journal #3.
"My brother is a dangerous know-it-all…" Stan's voice warned as it showed Ford scribbling all over a drawing of Bill, looking deranged.
"So isn't it possible that that person's goal was never knowledge, but to bring about the end of the world?!" Veronica's voice asked.
"He would trick or possess anyone…" Ford said, appearing on the monitor. Saying the same thing he said hours ago to Patrick and Dipper.
"Tell me..."
The next scene showed Ford as a younger man and more confident than he is now as he held out his hand. "Then it's a deal. From now until the end of time."
"Isn't…"
Bill held out his hand, which was on fire. The same way it was when he made a deal. "Just let me into your mind, Stanford." He said with fake friendliness.
"It…"
"Please, call me…" The author smiled widely as they shook hands. "...a friend."
"Possible?" Veronica's voice finished as Ford's deal with the devil was complete, and the scene showed the brilliant man being possessed by Bill. His eyes were the same as when Bill possessed Patrick. Dark slits against piercing yellow glowing orbs. Bill cackled his wicked laugh though Ford's mouth, both of their voices in perfect unison.
All Patrick could do was stare at the screen in horror as the demon's maniacal laughter ran in his ears. "No...No, no, it-it can't be…" he said in a shaking voice.
"FORD AND BILL?!" yelled Dipper in complete terror. The two whipped their heads around to look at Ford….
Only to find him finally awake and standing up. His eyes obscured by the screen reflecting brightly off his glasses.
"You shouldn't have done that." He said in a dark tone.
Ford took off the helmet and threw it to the ground. The helmet bounced once, and knocked down a black curtain. When it fell, the boy's horror skyrocketed.
Hidden behind the layers of curtains and secrets were giant tapestries of Bill lining the wall behind the machine, his hands engulfed in balls of fire. Golden intricate statues of the dream demon stood on the desk previously covered, with crystal pyramids lining its base. It was like looking at a shrine dedicated to Bill Cipher. All of it meant to pay homage and reverence to the greatest evil Patrick and Dipper had ever faced.
"My God…" Patrick whispered as he entire body trembled at the sight. He quickly turned around to face Ford, before pulling Dipper behind him. He didn't have his weapons; they were all upstairs. There was nothing to defend himself with. However, he then noticed the interdimensional rift sitting on the table behind them as well as the memory erasing gun. "Dipper, grab the rift."
"Why- why were you shaking hands with Bill?" Dipper asked, nervously. He did as he was told and picked up the interdimensional rift. "You said Bill could possess anyone so he could get this." The rift slipped out of his hand in his rush, and he scrambled to catch it. "Ahh!"
"Careful!" Ford scolded harshly, reaching out to catch the rift.
That's when Patrick, as quick as he's ever been, snatched the memory erasing gun and aimed it at his uncle. "Get back!" He snapped, holding a protective arm out in front of Dipper.
"Patrick, put the gun down and hand me the rift! Now, boys!" Ford demanded as he started walking towards them, forcing the two to start backing away from the author.
"Not happening, you fucking son of a bitch! Why did you make a deal with Bill? Why were you really scanning our thoughts?" Patrick questioned his uncle harshly and angrily. "Are you Bill right now?! You in there, you psychotic dorito cyclop!?
"Now just-just calm down and give it to me, P-"
"PINE TREE?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE GONNA CALL ME?!" Dipper yelled from behind his cousin.
"I was just going to say 'please', kid!"
By now, the boys had run out of room and had backed themselves up into the corner. They were trapped, with only the memory erasing gun their only protection between them and what could very well be Bill inside of Ford. "Listen, Great-uncle Ford or whoever you are in there, I'm not going to let you touch that rift or my cousin! Get one step closer and I'll shoot! I'll erase you right out of Ford's head!" Patrick yelled.
"It's me, Patrick. It's your uncle!" Ford repeated desperately. "Don't you trust me?!"
For a brief moment, Patrick hesitated for a moment as the hand holding the gun up started to shake. He wanted to believe that it really was Ford and not Bill up to his old tricks. That they weren't facing the same demon that's been terrorizing them all summer. But at the moment, he only had one response.
"No," he said, glaring as the gun charged up in his hand. "I don't!"
"Hand it to me!" Ford yelled, reaching out towards Patrick.
In that moment, Patrick squeezed the trigger and right as Ford moved closer, the beam bounced off his glasses. His head snapped back with a startled shout, catching him off guard. The beam itself started bouncing all round around the room, forcing the three of them to duck their heads to avoid being hit. Finally, it stopped when it ricocheted upwards one of the screens and broke it, destroying Project Mentum.
"Dipper, run!" Patrick yelled.
Dipper tried to pick up the rift, but Ford grabbed him by the back of his vest and picked him up. Ford hoisted him up into the air as Dipper fearfully struggled to hit him.
"Let go of me!" He cried.
That's when Patrick came barreling in and violently rammed into Ford. The attack caught Ford off guard and forced him to drop his younger nephew, as his older one tackled him to the ground, knocking off his glass.
"Keep your hands off my cousin, motherfucker!" Patrick yelled, raising his fist to deliver a punch.
"Now-now just calm down! Calm down!" Ford told him calmly, opening his eyes to look up at him through his blurry vision. Showing that his eyes were perfectly normal and as blue as the day he was born. "Look into my eyes! Look at my pupils. It's me, Patrick. It's me."
Seeing no sign of Bill possessing Ford, Patrick finally let out a heavy breath of relief. Without even bothering to help Ford up, he stood to his feet and looked over at Dipper.
"Dipper!" He rushed over to help his cousin up, who was groaning in pain on the floor. "Are you alright?"
"Y-Yeah." Dipper said. He then looked at Ford with a guilt-filled expression. "Is...Is he…?"
Patrick looked back at Ford, who was feeling around the ground trying to find his glass. Staring at him with a blank look, Patrick then noticed a laser gun that Ford brought back from his travels. It was leaning against the wall near Ford.
"Stay here, Dipper." He told Dipper, before walking over to Ford. Spotting his glasses, Patrick picked them up and handed them to his uncle. "How're you doing?"
"I'm fine, thank you," said Ford as he slipped his glasses on. Patrick then offered him a hand, which he accepted.
"Good. Glad to hear it." Patrick said with an oddly happy smile. "I was worried about you. Sorry I almost erased your memory."
"It's okay, Patrick. Besides, my mind can't be erased, anyway, remember?" He knocked the side of his head. "If I really was Bill, though, you would've done great. You're a lot like your grandmother when she was younger. I should have been more like you and Dipper back then."
"So you're not hurt?" Patrick asked.
"Uh, nope! All good."
"Good."
POW!
Patrick suddenly punched Ford in the face. Knocking him back on the floor. "That wouldn't have felt as satisfying." He growled in anger.
"Patrick, what are you doing?! He's not Bill!" Dipper exclaimed, rushing over and standing in front of his cousin.
"He might not be, but he was still friends with Bill!" Patrick said, pushing Dipper off to the side. As Ford groaned in pain and rubbed his cheek from the punch, Patrick picked up the blaster and advanced towards him. "No more lies, Ford! No more secrets. Dipper trusted you. And you something? I thought I could too." Patrick growled as he charged the blaster.
"So, why the fuck, did you make a DEAL WITH BILL?!" Patrick shouted at the author, pinning Ford down by stepping on his chest and pressing the muzzle of the blaster against his forehead.
Ford stared up at his nephew in shock as Patrick glared daggers into his eyes. With a sigh, he laid his hands flat on the floor and said, "Alright. Alright, just put the gun down."
"Not until you give me a good reason!"
"Patrick!" the teenager snapped his head towards Dipper, who looked at him with a pleading expression. "Calm down. Just give him a chance to explain."
After a moment of heavy breathing as he glanced between him and the author, Patrick took his off of Ford and stepped away from him. He placed the blaster on the table, but kept close to it. No longer under foot of his nephew, Ford stood up, but that doesn't mean he was off the hook. And he knew that. Now that they saw what he had done. Realizing just what his actions had caused and the effects they had, Ford knew that he had to come clean.
"I was a fool, Patrick," said the author with a hint of bitterness in his tone.
"No shit." Patrick hissed, as he and Dipper sat down on whatever chairs were available.
"Not just for keeping this a secret, but for everything. I know that you don't trust me, and that you feel as though I betrayed you, but I want you to know the reason I've been trying to prepare you for Bill's tricks is because Bill tricked me. It's the biggest regret of my life. Bill wasn't always my enemy, boys. I used to think he was my friend. Long, long ago." Ford began.
"I had hit a roadblock in my investigation of Gravity Falls. Until I found some mysterious writing in a cave. Ancient incantations about a being with answers. However, it warned me not to read them. To not summon him."
"So you decided to summon that son of a bitch?" Patrick asked incredulously.
"I know, but I was desperate. I read the inscription aloud. But nothing happened. Until later that afternoon, when I had the most peculiar dream. That's when I first met Bill. He told me he was a muse. That he chose one brilliant mind a century to inspire. What a fool I was. Blinded by his flattery and games. He became my research assistant. He was free to move in and out of my mind as he pleased. We were partners. When he told me I could complete my research by building a gateway to other worlds, I trusted him."
"So, wait, Bill was the one that gave you the blueprints for the portal?" Dipper asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That's right. He said this was the way genius happened. Little help from a friend. It seems that I was on the verge of my greatest achievement! Until my partner got a glimpse of Bill's true plans."
"Fiddleford…" Patrick whispered, realizing that what he must have seen beyond the portal was Bill's nightmare realm.
"I'd been betrayed. I was fooled into believing Bill was my friend. He wasn't helping me with my research. I was helping him build a gateway from his world to our world. I shut the portal down, severing the link between Bill's world and ours. I had to hide my instructions so no one could ever finish Bill's work. Bill's been waiting for the gateway to reopen ever since," Ford said, finishing his tale as he held the rift in his hand. "All he needs to do is get his hands on this rift. To Bill, it's just a game, but to us, it would mean the end of our world."
Patrick looked at the pamphlet on the table. He grabbed the two sides of the paper and folded the center in, creating a new, more sinister image. The human skull and Bill inside the head.
Our world and the nightmare realm becoming one.
"Oh, man…" Dipper said he and Patrick looked at one another worriedly. For the longest time, Patrick was so focused on the danger Bill posed to his family that he never really ever considered just how catastrophic the demon's endgame was. But now he knew that if Bill was to come into their world, there was nothing that was going to stop him. He would bring down the apocalypse the lights of which the world had never seen before.
"Oh, man, indeed," said Ford with a frown as Patrick and Dipper looked at him. "I'm sorry that I've been keeping this a secret from you two. But you have to believe me when I say all I'm trying to do is fix the mistake I made all those years ago."
Patrick remained quiet for a moment after that, still feeling the weight of the situation they were in. "And...that's the whole truth?" He asked hesitantly. Almost afraid to know if there was more to the story.
Ford nodded and said, "That's everything."
Seeing he was telling the truth, Patrick nodded his head. "Okay."
With no reason to stay in the study, Patrick, Ford, Dipper, went upstairs to try and clear their heads. They sat together at the table drinking sodas.
"Ugh, I'm so embarrassed about earlier. We're such an idiot." Dipper said.
"From now on, no more secrets between us," advised the author. "We're not the first three idiots to be tricked by Bill, boys. But if we work together, we could be the last." He flicked Dipper's hat up, managing a small smile from the boy.
"You're right. We can be." Patrick said, looking at his Dr. Pepper. He barely took a sip out of it as he was too deep in thought. He then looked up at Ford. "We have to tell the others the truth."
"What?" Ford asked, seemingly appalled by that idea. "No! Don't you remember what I said? It's too risky!" He said, shutting down the idea.
"Stop with the bullshit, Ford! What are you so afraid of?" Patrick asked harshly. "That they'll turn over the rift to Bill? We all hate him! We need help if we're going to keep the rift safe from Bill."
"Listen, that interdenominational rift must be kept secret!" Ford insisted. "The more people who know about the rift, the more danger it could potentially be put in!"
"Why? In case you haven't noticed, keeping secrets from those you trust will only cause more trouble," said Patrick, trying to rationalize with Ford. "Look, I get it. You're trying to protect us from Bill and keep the world safe. I want to keep my cousins safe, but it's like you said; no more secrets. Without that machine, we're vulnerable to Bill. Now we have no way to protect the shack!"
Suddenly and out of nowhere, Mabel slammed a fistful of unicorn hair on the table. "Did someone say 'unicorn hair'?!" She shouted, bursting into the room. Wendy, Grenda, Veronica, and Candy were behind her, all of them beat up and covered in unicorn fluids and tears.
"Uh, no, actually?" Dipper said with a frown. Looking at them in confusion.
"Oh. That would have been perfect. Either way we got some unicorn hair!" Mabel said, beaming as she waved the hair in Dipper's face.
"Also some unicorn tears, unicorn eyelashes…" Candy informed, gesturing to Grenda, who has unicorn eyelashes.
"Forget the hair, what the hell happened to you girls?" Patrick asked worriedly as he stood up and went over to Wendy.
Wendy blush and smiled as her boyfriend looked her over. "Oh, you know. Just got into a huge fight with the unicorns." She said, brushing off how they just were in the biggest fight of their lives.
"Worth it!" Veronica said with a satisfied smirk.
"They finally gave us this treasure just to get rid of us!" Grenda proclaimed, dumping treasure on the table. Spilling a horde of gold and jewels, along with a bottle of nail polish, magazines. and a box of sugar cubes.
"It... can't be!" Ford said in shock, completely amazed as he looked at the pile of riches and the hair Mabel gathered. "This is a great day, girls! With this unicorn hair, we should be able to completely shield the shack from Bill's mind-reading tricks!"
"Is it okay?" Mabel asked shyly as she moved towards him.
"Better than okay; it's perfect!" The author laughed warmly as he placed a proud hand on his niece's shoulder. "You've protected your family. You're a good person, Mabel."
Mabel smiled brightly at him, releasing that she'd rather have the approval and support of her friends and family than some uptight unicorn. "Thanks, Grunkle Ford, but today I learned that morality is relative."
Everyone went silent at that, confused as to to how she even came to that realization. Before anyone could have the chance to question her, Stan suddenly came rushing into the room and grabbed an armful of the treasure. "MONEY!" He shouted wildly as he ran away, busting down the door.
Still taken aback by Stan's sudden action, Patrick turned to Mabel's friends. "Uh, Candy, Grenda, why don't you two head home." He said with a smile.
"Okay, bye Mabel!" The two girls said, before exiting the Shack and walking home together.
"So, what were you three talking about?" Veronica asked, wondering why they were arguing.
"Huh? Oh, nothing! Nothing at...all…" Ford trailed off when, to his shock and horror, Patrick placed the rift on the table. Out in the open for all to see and know of its existence.
While Veronica, Wendy, and Mabel looked at it in wonder and curiosity, Dipper and Ford were shocked. How did he get it? Ford was sure he left it down in the lab! And just what was Patrick thinking?
"How did…How did you…"
"It's amazing how handy some of the things Stan teaches us can be," said Patick with a shrug.
"Ooh, what's that? Some kind of lava lap you invented?" Mabel asked, looking at the rift in wonder before reaching out to grab it.
"Uh, Mabel…" Dipper was about to stop her when Ford suddenly snatched the rift away.
"Don't touch that!" He yelled furiously, holding it close to his body as he glared at his niece with a wild look in his eyes.
Mabel stepped back, looking frightened by her great-uncle's outburst. Even Dipper was a little scared by the author. Wendy and Veronica shared expressions of shock as they stared at Ford with wide eyes. Patrick was shocked, but continued to stare at him with a scowl.
Realizing what he had done, Ford started to feel guilty for how he reacted. "I-I so sorry, Mabel. I-It's just...really important…"
"Ford, when we learned that Stan and Veronica were keeping secrets from us, it made us lose trust in them and we almost shut down the portal. If there's one thing I've learned all summer is that keeping secrets will do more harm than good. You made a promise that there'd be no more secrets," said Patrick, as sternly as he could to Ford while rationalizing with him. "So either you tell them...or I will."
Ford glared in anger at him for a moment, but knew there was nothing else he could do. The secret was out and now the others have seen the rift. With a heavy sigh, he placed the rift on the table, and started to explain it to Veronica, Wendy, and Mabel.
When morning came again to Gravity Fall, Wendy was once again laying in the bed of her boyfriend. After fighting the unicorns and the major bombshell reveal about the rift and Bill, she was completely exhausted and decided to stay at the Mystery Shack. But when she woke up, she was surprised that Patrick wasn't holding her. Sitting up, she was surprised when she saw he wasn't he wasn't in bed with her anymore. Worried, she pulled away the covers and started putting on her clothes.
Out on the porch, Patrick watched as the sun rose up into the sky. Not too long ago, Ford and Dipper had stretched the unicorn hair around the shack. There was now an invisible force field around the shack. He remembered waking up and noticing that Dipper was not in bed. When he stepped out, they had just finished and were heading inside.
When Ford was done explaining everything to the girls, Veronica was upset that he would keep his deal with Bill a secret from her. Mabel said that she understood why her uncle didn't say anything, but Patrick had a feeling it wasn't completely true. She seemed a little sad that Ford didn't trust her with the secret of the rift.
When Ford saw him, he scowled and walked past him without so much as a goodmorning. Dipper gave him a small good morning, before hesitantly following his uncle into the house.
Now the young man was sitting on the porch sofa with a can of Dr. Pepper. While his expression was mostly blank, he was conflicted in his thoughts. Only when the door opened was he brought out his thoughts.
"I thought I might find you up here," said Wendy as she walked over. Patrick scooted over and the redhead sat down. They sat close together, holding hands, with Wendy laying her hand on Patrick's head. "How are you doing?"
"Just thought I'd watch the morning sun," said Patrick, sounding tired.
"It's a beautiful sight." Wendy said, before looking at her boyfriend with a look of concern. "Come on, Patrick. What's really going on?"
"I'm...just wondering if I did the right thing. Was it wrong of me to make Ford tell you all about the rift? He said that knowing about it could put anyone in potential danger, and I might have just put you and Mabel in danger." He said somberly.
"You did the right thing Patrick." Wendy reassured him. "That rift is far too important to not know about, and Ford did lie to us."
"Yeah."
They had a moment for a moment before Wendy turned to her boyfriend and said, "Is that all?"
"I was...I was also thinking about this whole thing with Bill and the rift." Patrick admitted, sighing as he rubbed his face. "I don't know what to do, babe."
Wendy nodded, understanding why he was thinking that. Wendy was surprised Patrick was able to handle it all without going crazy. Then again, he's always been strong willed and adapts to any situation he's in.
"Honestly, I think we're in way over our heads," said Wendy as she stared at the morning sunrise with her boyfriend with a troubled look. "You, Dipper, Mabel are just a couple of kids staying here for summer vacation. That's all. When you found that journal, all we ever did was go on some adventures and solve a few mysteries. That's all. You didn't have the fate of the world on your shoulders, Patrick."
"But this?" Wendy said, gesturing with her hand at the force field they couldn't see. "This thing is much bigger than that. Bigger than anything we've ever had to deal with. Too big if you ask me."
"What are you saying?" Patrick asked, looking at her with curiosity and confusion.
"We don't have much time left together, so why waste it worrying about if Bill will attack? Ford...seems to know what he's doing, so why not just enjoy what little bit of summer we have left?" Wendy suggested.
Patrick was a little surprised by the suggestion. Stop with the mystery hunting and just spend the rest of the summer being a normal teenager and hanging out with his girlfriend? The last part definitely sounded appealing. However, as he thought more about it, the more he started to realize just how much he's been through. All summer, they've been trying to find the author, only to find out that their uncle and his grandmother were rebuilding a portal right under their feet to bring the author back. When they did bring him back, they learned that the author was their other uncle. Now they've learned that Ford made a deal with Bill and now the fate of the world rested on them keeping the fit safe.
All of that in just a couple of months away from home, staying in another town.
"Yeah, maybe you're right," said Patrick, turning to Wendy with a smile. Smiling back at him, Wendy cupped Patrick's cheeks and the two started to kiss. The redhead moaned in his mouth as she turned her body to better face him. Deepening the kiss as they made out passionately.
However, unbeknownst to Patrick or anyone at the Shack, they were all being watched by the very demon that they were fighting against. Bill watched the Shack through a small rip in the reality of the Nightmare Realm itself.
"I guess I can't possess anyone inside the shack." the demon remarked as he held his hands behind his back. "So I'll just have to find my next pawn on the...OUTSIDE."
Bill's eyes rolled and started flashing between several of the people in and around Gravity Falls. All of them made for perfect puppets to use in his sadistic schemes, but Bill had his eye on a special pawn.
AN: And here we are, another highly anticipated chapter of Weirder Things. We get the return of Veronica and the reveal of Ford's deal with Bill.
Let's start off with the girls half of the story. Mainly it remains unchanged, with the exception of Veronica's involvement. And as you'd expect, she knows a thing or two about the unicorns and their ways.
And now for the boys. Patrick already didn't trust Ford, and knew that he was hiding something about Bill. And when he found out about Ford's deal with Bill, he didn't react all too positively to it.
About a few days ago, I put out a poll on whether or not Patrick should tell Mabel about the rift. Most of everyone agreed that he should. And so, he did...but not in the way that you may have thought he would. Instead, Patrick forced Ford to tell them the truth and by showing the girls the rift, he placed Ford in a position where he couldn't lie about it anymore. For that scene, it was a chance to show that Patrick wasn't going to play by Ford's rules if it meant it placed his family in danger. And not knowing about the rift was just as dangerous as it was knowing about it.
As for the ending, that was inspired by one of my favorite scenes from Cowboy Bebop: The Movie and it just seems fitting for Patrick in the story. There comes a time when a hero has to realize that they may be in way over their heads. But that doesn't mean that Patrick is done with adventure, and that adventures are done with Patrick. We've still got one more chapter before Dipper and Mabel vs the Future, and after that, Weirdmaggedon.
Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story and review it so that I know that I'm doing good and what to improve. If you have any questions or discussions, you'd have for me, then please in a Review or a PM me.
Thank you for reading and, in parting, I wish you all love, peace, health, God's blessing, and to have a wonderful day.