{Play Stranger Things theme by Kyle Dixon Michael Stein}
The intro begins by fading in a scene of the road sign that said: "Welcome to Gravity Falls, Oregon."
We then see a view of the town of Gravity Falls, with the strangely shaped canyons in the background, and the sun going down between the two land formations. As the sun was setting, the day turned to a blue night. However, a sinister red light comes from over the horizon. Shining between the canyon.
The next scene is of a large, dinosaur footprint in the ground. It then changed to show the trees of the forest at night, and a pair of glowing eyes staring at the viewer before the camera switched to a wider shot and showed many more eyes staring at the viewer. The next scene was a far back show of two men dumping a body into the lake, and as that body sank down it was swallowed by a massive creature.
PATRICK
The teenage Pines is shown in a freeze shot of him walking in the woods with a lantern and his crowbar in hand. Behind him, Bill's eye in the sky looked down at him.
DIPPER
The male twin is looking down at the journal with a flashlight. Not noticing that there was a Pteranodon staring down at him, ready to eat him.
MABEL
The female twin is the final one to be seen, and it showed her wearing a sweater that lit up because it was plugged into an outlet. But in another, farther away shot showed Gideon's hand controlling her like she was a marionette.
The finale of the intro shows the Mystery Shack as the sun goes down behind it and the trees of the forest. When the sun went down and the night came, and just like the beginning, the red light appeared, but then a blue light shined from inside the Mystery Shack.
Then the screen went black and the title of the story appeared in a flash of light.
WEIRDER THINGS
It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared.
Chapter Thirty-Six:
Face It!
Another morning, another start to another day in Gravity Falls. Patrick was waking up when Ford suddenly burst into the room with all three of his journals. The teenager shot up as Ford walked over to Dipper, who was already awake with Mabel. "Dipper! I'm going to be out for three days hunting the elusive Mothman. He owes me money," said the author, placing the journals on the nightstand.
Patrick groaned as he sat up. "Didn't we just put up the barrier so that Bill didn't get into our heads?"
"I would be the only one safe from him," said Ford as he tapped on his head and the titanium plate rang. He glared at Patrick, no doubt still frustrated at him for the stunt he pulled in revealing the rift. Ford turned back to Dipper and handed him one of the journals. "I trust you to look after my journals while I'm gone."
"All three journals?!" Dipper gasped with a giant grin on his face and stars in his eyes. "Me?! After?! Look?!"
"Yes, those are most of the words I said. In a somewhat worrying order," said Ford as he started climbing out the triangular window. "Try not to sit too close to the TV."
Crashing through the glass, Ford front rolled in the air before landing on the ground and running off into the forest. "And I'm off!"
"Use the fucking door next time, you fucking show-off!" Stan yelled at him while walking to the door of the gift shop.
With Ford out of the house, each of the kids grabbed one of the books and opened them. "Mabel, Patrick, this is amazing! Finally, I have all three journals!" Dipper exclaimed with joy in his voice. "According to this, Ford once dated a siren!"
"Wowie zowie! Paranormal rashes! This was sure worth the wait!" Mabel said, though it was unclear if she was being sarcastic or not.
"Yeah, nothing like having all three Necronomicons instead of just one." Patrick on the other hand was being sarcastic and picked up one of the journals. However, when he saw this, Dipper closed the one he was holding and tried to grab it from him.
"Ah, actually, I'll hold onto it," he said, reaching out of it, only for Patrick to hold it out of his reach.
"What are you talking about? I'm not going to break it," Patrick said, holding it over Dipper's head as he tried jumping up for it.
"Yeah, but Ford trusted me with the journals." Dipper insisted.
"What about Mabel? She's likely the one that'll set them on fire." Patrick pointed to his other cousin.
"I would not!" Mabel exclaimed, next to an open fire lantern.
"Yeah, but…" Dipper trailed off. Frowning as he looked to the side.
Realizing just what this was all about, Patrick looked at his cousin in disbelief. "This is about me forcing Ford to spill the beans, isn't it?" He asked, holding up the book.
"Well, yeah! Ford trusted us with keeping that rift safe!" Dipper said angrily.
"No, he wanted us to keep it a secret from everyone else," Patrick argued.
"He's got a point, Dipper. Was he even going to tell me?" Mabel asked her brother. Still a little upset over Ford not letting her in on the secret.
"Y-Yeah, I'm sure he would have. Ford knows what he's doing!" Dipper insisted, but didn't sound as convinced in that comment as he should have. "We just have to trust him."
"Like you do?" Patrick asked, frowning as he looked at him. "Trust is earned, Dipper. Take me for example. I've gone through hell and back to gain the trust of everyone I know and prove that I am trustworthy! Ford shows up and you follow him like a puppy."
"That...That's not true!" Dipper exclaimed, pointing at Patrick.
"Oh look! Ford's favorite toothbrush!" Mabel exclaimed, pointing to a random direction in the room.
"Really? Where?" Dipper excitedly turned around, expecting to find the toothbrush and return it to Ford. But when he saw it wasn't there, he realized he'd been tricked.
Mabel laughed at him as Patrick shook his head in disappointment. "You're totally hero-worshiping him, Dipper." She said with an amused smile as her brother looked embarrassed.
All of a sudden, the doorbell rang. Cutting their conversation short. The trio walked out of the room and down the stairs. "Is that your friends?"
"Don't think so," Mabel said, skipping down the steps. "Grenda usually head-butts the door."
"Wendy didn't say anything about coming over," Patrick said. He opened the door and to his surprise, it was Pacifica Northwest. She had her head down, casting a shadow over her eyes. "Pacifica? What are you doing here?"
"Whoa! Pacifica, my favorite Frenemy!" Mabel said with a cheerful wink. She stopped to think for a moment. "Or is it enem-friend?"
When he saw her, Dipper couldn't help but blush with a dopey grin on his face. Something that didn't go unnoticed by Patrick. "Heh...Long time no see, Pacifica! Any more ghosts trying to murder you this week?"
"I wish, Dipper. It's so much worse." Pacifica said with a miserable tone. The blonde then looked up at him and pointed to a spot under her left eye. "I've got my first wrinkle! Look!"
Dipper leaned in to see what she was talking about. Sure enough, Pacifica had a small little wrinkle. Utterly bewildered by why she was so worried, Dipper started laughing hysterically.
"It's not funny!" Pacifica exclaimed, pulling out an issue of 'Better Families Than Yours' magazine. On the cover was the Northwest family. "Our annual Northwest Family magazine cover shoot is tomorrow. Ever since the Haunting at Northwest Manor, I've been on thin ice with Mom and Dad. I need to look perfect for this year's photo or they'll cut off one of my six credit cards!"
"Oh no! What will the rich girl with a massive family inheritance do with only five credit cards?" Patrick asked with a smirk.
"Do you ever stop being sarcastic?" She asked with an annoyed expression.
"Only on weekends."
"Pacifica, wrinkles are nothing to be afraid of!" Mabel said, pulling at her face. "Think of them as friends who live on your face and will eventually cover you until you're dead."
"Yeah, I got these wrinkles just from looking after these two," Patrick said pointing to the bags under his eyes. He then gestured to the twins. "They're like lint-rolls for trouble."
"You don't understand." Pacifica pulled out a small mirror and looked at her wrinkle with a look of sadness. Touching her cheek lightly as she sighed. "First it's just one wrinkle, then another, and before you know it, you look like…"
"Welcome to your future, sweetheart," said Stan when Pacifica tilted the mirror to the side. His face appeared in the mirror.
"AUGH!" Pacifica yelled, startled by Stan as he just sat on the couch and slipped his soda.
"So your body's changing naturally. Why do you think we can help you with a wrinkle?" Patrick asked as Pacifica pushed her way inside. Her left hand covered her wrinkle. "Just use your makeup."
"My makeup is useless," Pacifica said. "I need your creepy book of nerd magic. If it can chase away a ghost, it can chase away a wrinkle."
"Nuh-uh! No way," Patrick said, putting up his arms in an x cross. "Don't even think about going nears those books."
"He's right, Pacifica." Dipper joined in. "I'd like to help, but those journals are super dangerous."
"Yeah! Their unholy power can only be wielded by a sweaty twelve-year-old in shorts," Mabel said, snickering at her brother.
"Ha! Boom!" Patrick exclaimed with a laugh as he and his cousin fist-bumped. Dipper just deadpanned. "But seriously, stay away from those books."
"Ugh...fine….then can I at least use your powder room?" Pacifica asked, already starting to walk up the stairs. "I need to wash the smell of grandpas and pine needles out of my hair."
"I hate to break it to you, but that's never getting out of your hair."
Mabel laughed. "You'll get used to it."
"Second door to the left!" Dipper pointed up the stairs.
Pacifica went up the stairs and walked down the hallway. She saw the door to the left. But she also saw the door to the right and went for that one. "It's okay, Pacifica…" The blonde heiress gently opened the door to the cousins' bedroom. It creaked as it swung and she looked inside. Pacifica then spotted Journal #1. "Lying is fine if it's in the service of what really matters: looks."
Opening the journal, she started looking through the pages for a solution. "Let's see...vampire bite? No...what's the point of being hot forever if you can't see your reflection," she said, before turning the page. "Fountain of Youth? Ugh, public pools are for hobos!"
She flipped the page again and found something that would help her. A piece of paper that was taped to the page with an image of an ominous figure with a set of instructions.
"Ah. Here we go! 'Mr. What's-His-Face can fix anything you don't like about your face for a price,'" she said. Below the description was the instructions. "'To summon him, simply finish this sentence- Yes, this sentence, the one you're reading aloud riiiiiiiight now."
In a loud poof of smoke, the demon known as Mr. What's-His-Face appeared. Crouching down on the record player behind Pacifica. His face was completely in the shadows and only his bright grin could be seen through it. He had giant teeth and one gold tooth. He wore a small brown bowler hat, brown gloves, black pants, fancy shoes, and a large green checkered trench coat.
"You called?" asked Mr. What's-His-Face.
While at first startled by the demon's sudden appearance, Pacifica quickly shrugged it off and got back to her normal self. "Ah, you there! Magic butler. Fix my eye bags, chop-chop!" She said impatiently, clapping her hands. "I've got places to be and people to make jealous."
"But why stop at eye bags?" Mr. What's-His-Face said with a grin on his giant mouth. "I can do so much more. I can give you a face that's completely blemish-free. Forever."
As he made out the deal to Pacifica, red flames appeared around his hand, and a pentagram formed on his palm.
"Just come closer…"
"Oh, Pacificaaaa!" Mabel called out to the blonde girl while holding up a sweater that said 'Love Yourself!' on it. "I knitted you a self-esteem sweater!"
"Mabel's gonna force you to wear it! Just accept it!" Dipper added. The cousins all walked up the stairs to knock on the bathroom door. However, when they reached the top of the stairs, Patrick noticed a sinister red light glowing from behind the closed door of their room.
"Uh, did one of you leave a scary red light on in the room?" Patrick asked nervously.
When Dipper saw it, he started to panic. "Oh, no- PACIFICA!"
In the room, Mr. What's-His-Face was about to place his flaming hand over Pacifica's face. In spite of that fact, Pacifica seemed oddly okay with letting a hand that was on fire with a pentagram on it touch her.
"I'll pay in cash. Can you break a thousand-dollar bill?" She asked.
Patrick slammed open the door as he and the twins rushed in. They gasped in horror by the sight they were looking at. "Pacifica, no!" Mabel cried, rushing over to stop her.
"Wha-?" Mr. What's-His-Face was startled by Mabel's yell, before a bolt of red lightly shot from his hand and hit Mabel in the face.
"MABEL!" Patrick and Dipper yelled as Pacifica gasped in horror at what just happened. Mabel's body fell to the ground, and Patrick was quick to pick her up and cradle her in his arms.
"Mabel? Are you okay?" He asked desperately.
But his worry turned to horror when he saw what had happened. There was nothing where her face would be. No eyes, mouth, nose, or even eyebrows. It was all gone.
"Oh my God! He stole your face!" Dipper screamed in terror. Mabel's body felt the front of her head and clawed at it.
"Yes, obviously. I was trying to steal hers, but a face is a face, I suppose," said Mr. What's-His-Face as he held Mabel's still living face in one hand. Pacifica backed away from him in horror as a bag appeared in the demon's other hand. "Can't be too picky in this market. Thanks for summoning me, by the way. My work here is done!"
"Guys, help me!" Mabel cried out. "I've never been in a monster's purse, and I don't want to start now!" But it was too late, as Mr. What's-His-Face tossed her in the purse.
"Hold it! You're not going anywhere!" Patrick yelled, charging at the demon with his crowbar out.
"Au Revoir!" In a burst of green smoke in the shape of a skull and some poker cards, Mr. What's-His-Face disappeared from the Mystery Shack before Patrick could hit him. Taking Mabel's face with him.
Patrick then turned his anger onto Pacifica.
"What did you do?!" He yelled at her furiously.
"I-I-I just wanted to get rid of my wrinkle," Pacifica said, frightened by the teenager.
"Pacifica! This is all your fault!" Dipper shouted as Mabel's body tried to feel around the floor. "I told you not to touch that journal!"
"I'm sorry!" Pacifica said, feeling more guilty and ashamed for her actions. "Northwests are naturally good at lying. It's hard to turn it off!
"Yeah, well it's thanks to you being like the rest of your rotten family that Mabel's face is gone!" Dipper said.
"Hey, that's not fair!" Pacifica argued, taking offense to his comment. She wasn't like the rest of her rotten family.
"You're right. It's not fair to Mabel!"
"I'm sorry, okay!"
"Guys, knock it off!" Patrick pushed them away from each other. "This is not helping. Right now we've got to figure out how to find that monster."
He then felt a tug on his sleeve and looked down to see Mabel's body. It was pointing up, in a gesture that said it had an idea. Mabel then grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. Patrick, Dipper, and Pacifica gathered around as they watched Mabel write on the paper. It was the only way they'll be able to communicate.
When she was done, Mabel showed the paper to the three.
My face can see out his bag! He's running towards Main Street! Whaaaat!
"Then that's where we're going," Patrick said. He walked towards the door with Dipper and Pacifica following him.
"Mabel, you stay right here. We're going to hunt down that creep and get back your face!" Dipper said with determination.
Pacifica stopped and leaned into Mabel's face with squinting eyes. "On the bright side, though, your face skin is super smooth…"
Dipper grabbed her and dragged her away.
With Patrick at the wheel, the Pines boys and the Northwest heiress drove down towards the town in the golf cart. "I can't believe you, Pacifica!" Dipper yelled at Pacifica. "Didn't you learn anything during the ghost incident? Like maybe something about growing as a person?"
"Look, I happen to care about my appearance, all right?!" Pacifica argued. "Just like how you care about kissing aliens or whatever!"
"I've never kissed an alien!" Dipper exclaimed with a bright blush. "You're the only girl I've ever kissed!"
Pacifica blushed as she remembered that. "Y-Yeah! And you should feel lucky I didn't sue you for that!" She said, turning her head away.
"Hey!" Patrick yelled, startling them. "I get that you two are having a lovers quarrel, but right now we need to force on the mission!"
"We're not in love!" They shouted together.
"Sure you're- wait, there he is!" Patrick shouted, spotting Mr. What's-His-Face running down the street with his handbag.
The monster turned the corner, and Patrick followed him. Turning the card hard and speeding down the street as Mabel shouted from inside the bag. "HELP ME! It smells like mothballs and morning breath in here!"
Mr. What's-His-Face stopped in front of a door to a random building and pulled out a key. "Try and catch me…if you dare…" He unlocked the door and ran into a dark void. Mr. What's-His-Face slammed the door behind him as Patrick parked and rushed over to catch him. "But you'll find…"
Patrick swung the door open, only to see that the entrance was now completely covered up with red bricks.
"I'm not anywhere!"
Patrick slammed his fist on the brick wall in fury, but it couldn't break through it. "That's...not normal," Pacifica said.
"No, it's paranormal. Just another day in our lives," Patrick said. He turned to Dipper. "How do we get in there?"
"Let's see…" Dipper pulled out the journal and started flipping through the pages.
"Didn't that freak show have some kind of key?" Pacifica asked.
"Yeah, but where are we going to find a key to get in there?" Patrick asked.
That's when Dipper got an idea. "Wait, course! That's it!" He reached into his pocket, before pulling out and holding up a key of his own. "The President's Key! A former president gave this to me."
"You still have that thing?" Patrick asked with wide eyes.
"Yeah, but I think he also gave me Cholera...might wanna get that checked out." He walked over to the door and placed his hand on it. Before he did anything, however, Dipper first turned to Pacifica with a dead-serious expression. "Prepare yourself, Pacifica. If I know Gravity Falls, things are going to get weird."
Dipper inserted the key into the keyhole and turned it. Once there was a clicking sound and the bolt unlocked, he pulled out the key and opened the door.
On the other side was a long tunnel that was the inside of a disgusting mouth. There were sharp teeth sticking out of the wall of moving flesh. Saliva dripped everywhere and it just looked like they were staring down the gaping maw of a monster.
Pacifica winched in disguise as the sight of the tunnel made her nauseous. "Oh, fun. A tunnel made of living skin. Yeah, I'm not going in there."
"Too bad!" Patrick said with a glare. "You got my cousin's face taken away, now you're going in there with us."
"Are you insane! This hallway has teeth!" Pacifica protested, but Dipper grabbed her arm and pulled her with him.
"You want to mess with magic? Well, congrats, Pacifica- today you're messing with magic!" He said.
Dipper pulled Pacifica with him as he jumped into the tunnel with her. Pacifica screamed as Patrick followed soon after. They descended rapidly into the fleshy tunnel for a few seconds, before they landed on a hard surface. Dipper landed on his face, Pacifica on her butt, and Patrick on a pile of pillows. Lucky him.
When Patrick opened his eyes, he looked around and his eyes widened with wonder.
They had land in a large underground city of some kind. There was a stone bridge in front of them and under it were several shops and stands. However, there were the monsters, ghouls, and strange creatures that the Pines have or have yet to encounter. Some were buying from the stands or selling things like souls, tongues, and even nightmare fuel.
After they recovered, the kids quickly rushed over and got behind a set of barrels. They peaked over the top and stared at the weird and terrifying world they just entered. "What is this place?" Patrick asked.
"Incredible!" Dipper exclaimed, pulling out the journal and turning the page. "I've read about this in the journal! It's a paranormal black market under the town. This must be where Gravity Falls' weirdness hides during the day. It's called the Crawlspace. Whoa, according to Ford, he's been searching for it for years but never found it. We must be the first humans to make it inside alive!"
Patrick looked behind them and saw a sign that said 'No humans allowed.' "And something tells me we're not welcomed here," Patrick said.
"Wow, if this is what your days are like, I understand why your only friend is a book," Pacifica commented. "So how are we going to find your sister's face at this horror show?"
Dipper thought about that for a moment. "I have a hunch everyone here has a price. But we're going to need disguises…." He quickly turned to Pacifica and pointed at her. "Quick- we need to cover ourselves in garbage so we blend in!"
"What?!" shouted Pacifica.
"You don't want to be eaten by monsters, do you?"
"Is he really serious?"
"If it gets us through this place without being detected, then it's a price we'll have to pay," Patrick said.
"Ughhh, fine." Pacifica grabbed handfuls of gunk and slug and started spreading it around her body and clothes. Her face cringed in disgust as she did so. "Like this?"
Patrick and Dipper stared at her before the young boy snickered. "I just said that to see if you'd do it." He admitted, earning a fist-bump from his cousin.
"WHAT?!" Pacifica screamed in fury. "Oh, you are so dead!"
"What the hell is going on over here?"
The three kids freeze, before turning their heads around to see the source of the voice.
Standing a few feet from them was a boy that looked to be 14 years old with messy, gold-blonde hair and gold-yellow eyes. He wore a black t-shirt under a green lizard hoodie with a roll of fake spikes going down his back and two big eyes on the hood. He wore blue jeans and white and black shoes. The most distinct feature about him was that his ears were slightly pointy. On his back was a sword with the scabbard scraped around his chest.
As the blonde boy looked at the three in behind the barrels, his eyes widened. "You're...humans?"
"What?! No! We're...uh…" Dipper failed to respond properly as he started to panic.
The blonde boy suddenly pulled his hands out of his sweater pockets, revealing they were covered by fingerless gloves. He clapped his hands, then crouched down, and slammed his hands down on the ground. This created a magic circle that formed around the four of them, before a transparent blue dome covered them. Outside of the dome, they disappeared from the rest of the world. But inside, they were still there.
Patrick, Dipper, and Pacifica looked around at the dome in astonishment. Amazed by the 14-year-old's abilities.
"How did you do that?" Patrick asked in wonder.
"I'm a half-witch. I'm able to do magic," said the boy, standing up. "But the real question is what are you three doing here? Don't you know that this place is dangerous for humans? I'm only alive because of my ears!"
"We're sorry, but we had no other option," Dipper said. "My sister got her face taken by a demon and we're trying to get it back!"
"A face-stealing demon?" the half-witch asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, so if you can hurry up and tell us where he is, that'll be so great, Mr. half-a-witch," Pacifica said in a rather rude and snobby tone. Something that the half-witch didn't like in the slightest.
"My name is Booker, bitch," said Booker with a glare. "Booker Bridges."
"I'm sorry about her, she's having a crisis that on a cosmic scale is the size of an ant," Patrick said, throwing a little insult to Pacifica. This made her glare at him. "But we really need to find this guy so we can save Mabel. Was there anyone that looked like they had no face by a giant mouth?"
Booker thought for a moment before looking up at him with a smile. "Actually, yeah! He's right over there!" Booker said, pointing in a different direction.
A few yards away from them was none other than Mr. What's-His-Face. On his back, he was carrying a large bag with faces hanging off of it. He was currently in the middle of conducting business with a hooded client.
"A face with a chin! Now Shandra will remove that restraining order for sure!" Tody Determined said with glee as he took the face and handed over a sack of jewels.
"Pleasure doing business with you." Mr. What's-His-Face took his payment and walked off into the crowd.
"That's him!" Dipper exclaimed.
Booker dropped the illusion spell. "You'd better hurry if you want to catch him," he said.
"Thanks, Booker!" Patrick said before he, Dipper, and Pacifica ran off.
"Good luck!" Booker out to them. Hoping they'd make it out of the Crawlspace alive.
"Booker!" Called a familiar voice. Booker spotted two girls standing a few feet away. One with brown hair and tan skin, the other had pale skin and purple-dyed hair. "Come on! We're leaving!" the Latina girl said.
Booker smiled and ran over to join the two. But that's a story for another time.
Back with Patrick, Dipper, and Pacifica, they were still trying to follow Mr. What's-His-Face through the crowd of people. Thanks to his height, Patrick was able to keep track of the demon. He then saw Mr. What's-His-Face stop to talk to another potential customer.
"Okay, this is it." He told the two behind him. "We get this guy, we get Mabel."
Dipper nodded with determination as he started following his cousin. Pacifica began to follow too when one of the stands caught her attention. "Dr. Crowsfeet's Beauty Pills, CAW!" announced a large crow with a red tie and hat, holding up a bottle of pills he was selling. "Guaranteed to cure your wrinkles and make you a stunning queen, girl. CAW!"
Pacifica walked over to the stand, which Dipper noticed and was shocked by. "Wait, beauty pill!" Pacifica gasped in surprise and hopefulness. "I need these!"
"Pacifica, we don't have time!" Dipper yelled at her, appalled that she was still more concerned about her looks than his sister.
"But my photo, Dipper! This is my chance!" Pacifica protested, holding the bottle of pills to her chest.
"Who cares?"
"I care!"
Dipper growled in frustration. "Damnit, Pacifica! You're already so beautiful! Beautiful than any girl I know! So why are you so obsessed with looking so impossibly perfect!? Why can't you just accept that you're HUMAN!?"
In an instant, the entire crowd turned towards the two kids. Patrick stopped and whipped around with a look of panic. Realizing what he had just done, Dipper looked around at the monsters staring at him and Pacifica with a look of panic.
"Uh-oh."
All of a sudden, Dipper and Pacifica were scooped up in a large butterfly net. Now captured, they were held off the ground as a small pig-like creature with his eyes stitched shut walked up to them. "Two humans?! Well, bless my lack of a soul!" He said with a grin.
"We're not humans!" Pacifica yelled desperately. "We're just dogs! Shaved dogs that can talk!"
Dipper looked at her incredulously. "What?"
"I don't know! I'm not good under pressure!"
The pig turned to the crowd and pointed to the kids. "For the first time since the end of the Civil War, we've got ourselves a right proper human auction, we have!" He announced to the crowd with a big grin on his face. "Demons and gentlemonsters, start your bids!"
As monsters all around him started making their bids, Patrick desperately tried pushing his way towards the front to get to his cousins. "Dipper!" He called out to his cousin, before accidentally tripping and knocking into another person.
"Hey!" said the young woman, who had mostly black hair, which was purple towards the tips. She spoke with a Scottish accent. "No need to bump into people!"
"I'm sorry, but I've got to save those kids!" Patrick said as he moved around her. He resumed his struggle to get to the kids. "Dipper! Pacifica!"
"SOLD!" the pig shouted, pointing to the demon who bided the highest. "Hope you kids like burlap!"
"Wait! What do we do?! What about Mabel?!" Dipper shouted, before he and Pacifica were dumped into a burlap sack. Watching from afar, Patrick's expression turned to horror as he watched them get taken away. As the crowd started to disperse, he quickly ran after them.
"Dipper!"
Back at the Mystery Shack, Stan walked into the living room while picking his ear and scratching his butt. "Mabel, have you seen my world's most distracting object?" he asked his niece. When he walked into the room, all the lights were off, with only the TV's screen illuminating the room. Mabel's body was sitting in his chair, staring at the static on the screen. "I could have swore I left it in the-"
Then, like something out of a horror movie, Mabel's head turned towards her great uncle. Revealing her faceless face to him. Then, with a red marker, she drew a big, squiggly, smile on her face.
Unsettled beyond words, Stan slowly backed out of the room.
"LET US OUT!" Dipper yelled as he bagged on the inside of the burlap sack. But while he was trying to escape the situation they were in, Pacifica was still focused on the pills.
"Okay, let's get a look at these beauty pills," she said, turning over the bottle and finding the label. "'Side effects: spontaneous face explosion.' Ugh, that's what I get for trusting a crow in a bow tie."
"Well, thanks a lot, Pacifica!" Dipper exclaimed furiously, throwing his arms up before crossing them. "Thanks to your stupid obsession with your looks, we've now been sold off to become the crypt keeper's next happy meal, Patrick's God knows where, and Mabel's face is still missing!"
"Ugh…" Pacifica sighed as she pocketed the pills. However, that didn't stop the immense guilt and shame she felt all day from building up inside her again. "I'm sorry. You wouldn't understand what I'm dealing with."
She sat down with her legs pressed against her chest and her arms hugging them. Looking over his left shoulder, Dipper stared at the beautiful blonde. At that moment, Dipper was reminded of when he first comforted Pacifica during the Northwest Manor haunting. It was the most vulnerable he'd ever seen her. Now she was back in that state again.
Letting out a sigh as he sat down next to her, Dipper said, "Well, maybe you could try explaining?"
Pacifica placed her head on her knees as she started explaining. "There's just so much pressure on me, Dipper. My mom is a trophy wife. Literally...my dad won her in a yachting competition. She always taught me that beauty was everything, and she used to teach me this by reading the Ugly Duckling to me."
Dipper was confused by that. "Wasn't that story about accepting yourself for who you are?"
"Not the way my mom told it. In her version, the Ugly Duckling never made any friends because of his weird face."
"But he wasn't even a duck, he was a swan," Dipper said.
Pacifica looked at him with a confused look. "Really?"
"Yeah, you really didn't know that?"
"No!"
They paused for a moment.
"Sorry, continue," Dipper said.
Pacifica's mood turned back to misery. "My mom always said that people judge a book by its cover. So, I've lived my entire life around that idea. I've made myself what my parents wanted me to be: their perfect little girl. And…well, that's all I know how to be. I need my cover, Dipper. Because without it...I'm not sure who I really am."
Dipper stared at Pacifica with a stunned look on his face. Now he understood what she was going through. Even though she was trying to be a better person, the roots of her family's influence still ran deep within her. Just as he did before, Dipper grabbed her hand and gently held it.
"Pacifica, you gotta stop worrying about what other people think. I mean, the happiest people I know are Patrick, Mabel, and Grunkle Stan. One has chips in her hair, one never wears pants, and one has one extra toe on each foot that caused him to have anger issues," he explained. Dipper then blushed as he started smiling at her. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're smart, creative, confident...and...well uh, you're very beautiful."
Pacifica looked up at him with wide eyes as he continued. "Forget about your dumb family. You know, ever since you saved everyone at Northwest Manor and promised to fix your family name, I've noticed another side of you. I think I see the real Pacifica...and I think I want to know about that Pacifica more. Because when you're that Pacifica, you show that you're more than just a beautiful face."
At that moment, Pacifica lunged at Dipper and pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you, Dipper."
"Haha...no problem."
Pacifica pulled away from Dipper and the two stared into each other's eyes for a moment. They leaned in closer.
Whatever they were going to do, they never got the chance to do it. All of a sudden, they were thrown out of the bag and tossed onto the ground. Picking themselves up, they saw they were now in a large room with a fireplace. And covering the walls were hundreds upon hundreds of faces that were taken by Mr. What's-His-Face.
"Look at who decided to drop in!" Mr. What's-His-Face said, sitting in a chair and shuffling a stack of cards in his hands. "I never forget a face."
"Hey, guys!" Mabel called out. Her face was mounted on the wall behind the monster. "I was wondering when you'd find me! I've actually been having fun down here. Making friends, spitting on things. I taught these guys to do the wave with our tongues."
"Please get rid of her," pleaded another face.
"YOU!" Pacifica stood up with Dipper and pointed at Mr. What's-His-Face. Both kids glared at the demon as he grinned with amusement. "That flyer was false advertising! Gimme Mabel's face back and nobody gets sued!"
Mr. What's-His-Face's massive mouth laughed with amusement. "Oh, Pacifica, my dear child. You're in my world and you do not want a face-off with me!"
He clapped his hands, causing Dipper's face to disappear. Pacifica gasped in horror when she saw her crush's face vanish as his body collapsed on the ground and grabbed at its head. "Dipper! Oh my God! No, no!"
"Why have one twin when I can have the complete set? Thank you for finishing my collection." Mr. What's-His-Face snapped his fingers and Dipper's face appeared on the wall next to Mabel's.
"PACIFICA! HELP!" Dipper pleaded.
"That's enough, you thrift store freak show!" Pacifica exclaimed with fury. "Hand 'em over or I'll scream so loud the cops will find this place from a mile away!"
"Let's not be so hasty. I can still give you the face you've always dreamed of." Mr. What's-His-Face said, before his head twisted and shifted around, before turning into Pacifica's face.
This face showed the heiress at her absolute best. Her most gorgeous. Pacifica stared at the face with wide eyes and her jaw slightly open as she took in all the sight of what she could be.
"Let me keep them and you could look like this for all eternity. But fight and…" The perfect face Mr. What's-His-Face promised Pacifica rotted away into a hideous face. "...face your inevitable future."
Pacifica shook her head as she backed away. Mr. What's-His-Face walked towards her, his face turned back to normal. "Looks don't last, Pacifica. And when you're ugly, no one will love you. So, what will it be? Your looks...or theirs?"
As she stared at the monster that took Dipper and Mabel's faces away, she looked behind him at the young boy. Instead of a look of pleading, he looked at her with an expression that said he had confidence in her. That she would do the right thing. And Pacifica knew what she had to do at that moment.
"How about...YOUR! "
Pacifica suddenly threw several beauty pills at Mr. What's-His-Face. The moment they entered his giant mount, they went off in a blazing storm of fire as the demon screamed in agony.
"AUGHH! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FLESH-TORNADO OF A FACE!"
He was then hit in the chest by an energy blast that knocked him back and slammed him into his chair. Knocking it over as he cried in pain on the floor. Pacifica looked back to see Patrick standing at the doorway, the twin barrels of his laser shotgun smoking.
"Get the kids and let's get out of here!" Patrick yelled.
Pacifica nodded and grabbed a basket. "Dipper, Mabel, jump!" She yelled, running over to the wall to catch them.
"Haha, yes!" Mabel cheered as her face jumped off the wall and fell into the basket. "In your various faces!"
Dipper landed in the basket too. "This is the weirdest day of my life."
Pacifica and Dipper's body ran over to Patrick, who held the door open for them as they ran out of the house before following after them. Mr. What's-His-Face, now beyond enraged, chased after them.
Dipper's body pulled his face out of the basket and put it back on. "Hurry! He's gaining on us!" He yelled.
"There's no shaking this guy!" Patrick yelled.
"What do we do?!" Pacifica screamed.
"I've got a plan!" Mabel said. "Go left!"
The three turned left and were met with a dead end, with the only thing there was an old wooden outhouse. "What?! Into the outhouse!?" Dipper exclaimed.
"Trust me, just do it!"
Mr. What's-His-Face turned the corner and ran towards them. "Outhouse it is!" Patrick exclaimed, opening the outhouse door and rushing into the outhouse with the kids behind him. As it turned out, the outhouse led to another long tunnel. Luckily it wasn't as disgusting as the last one. Just a black void with another door at the end.
"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, THEY'LL NEVER FIND YOUR FACELESS BODIES!" Mr. What's-His-Face yelled furiously. The kids screamed in terror before smashing through the exit.
The outhouse took them back to Gravity Falls. The three kids fell on the ground after getting out of the Crawlspace. Making them easy targets for Mr. What's-His-Face as he pulled himself out of the outhouse. "PREPARE TO BE DESTROY-"
All of a sudden, Mr. What's-His-Face turned into a solid block of ice when he was hit by a freeze ray.
Patrick stared at the frozen demon with wide eyes as he panted for a moment. He looked back and saw Ford with the freeze gun and Mabel's faceless body tugging on his jacket. "Ford?" He asked, shocked to see him.
"Are you alright, Patrick?" Ford asked with a smile. Relieved to see him and the kids were safe
"Uh, yeah, I'm-I'm good," he said. Patrick stood up with Dipper and Pacifica. "But what are you doing here?"
"Stan called me when he found Mabel like this. It's a good thing I'm great at charades," he said, gesturing to the faceless body of Mabel. Ford then turned to the frozen body of Mr. What's-His-Face with an intrigued grin. "I've been trying to find that market for years! And it looks like I've got a new specimen for the bunker. Nicely done, kids!"
The four kids smiled at each other.
Now out of danger, Patrick picked up Mabel's face and placed it back on the front of her head. "Whoo boy! It is great to get the band back together!" She exclaimed with a big smile. "I missed these two peepers! Boop!"
"Yes, you've got your face back, and…" Pacifica gasped in horror when she realized the time. "Oh, no! It's 5:55! My photo shoot is in five minutes and I look…"
She paused for a moment and looked down at a small puddle of water. Staring at her reflection, Pacifica saw that she still had her wrinkle. Along with being covered in mud, dirt, and garbage. She had a piece of paper in her hair that was in the shape of a flower, and she had a small fire in one shot on her head. But the more she looked at her reflection, the more she started to admire it. What she was looking at wasn't a false image that her parents wanted her to be. This was the real her, and it was more beautiful than anything she could have imagined.
"I look like me." Pacifica smiled as she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Patrick walked over and put out the fire on her head as he was joined by Dipper and Mabel. "Thanks, guys. I need this."
"No problem. If you ever want to get away from your parents, you're always free to hang out at the Mystery Shack," Dipper said.
Pacifica smiled with a blush on her cheeks. Then the heiress surprised Dipper with a kiss on the cheek.
"Thanks, Dipper."
The moment was cut short when Mabel squealed with shock and glee. Patrick nodded with a smirk. Dipper and Pacifica stared at them with wide eyes and red hot blushes.
"You didn't see that."
"OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT! YOU DO LIKE DIPPER!" Mabel yelled.
"NO, I DON'T!"
"When's the wedding?"
"I'm leaving right now!"
The next day, Patrick slapped the latest issue of 'Better Families Than Yours' magazine on the table. The cover showed a trash-covered Pacifica as happy as she could, while her parents looked at her in disgust.
"Well, it looks like Pacifica's in trouble with her family again," Patrick said as he sat at the table, placing Dipper and Mabel's breakfasts in front of them. "But at least she's happy."
"Yeah, and Dipper gets another kiss from her." Mabel teased her brother with a grin.
"Hehe, yeah, we all can stop teasing me," Dipper said.
"Never! Teasing you is an important part of getting you two lovebirds together. Plus, you did it to me, so I get to do it to you," Patrick said, smirking. He then left to get his own breakfast from the kitchen.
When he entered the kitchen, Patrick stopped when he saw Ford making a cup of coffee. The two of them stopped and looked at one another. Ford frowned and returned back to his coffee. Giving his nephew the cold shoulder once again after saving him yesterday. Patrick frowned back and walked over to a cabinet and grabbed a box of cereal. He walked over to another cabinet to grab a bowl as Ford started walking away.
"Thanks for saving us."
Ford stopped and looked back at Patrick, who was looking at him. Though his face had a blank expression, his tone carried with it a voice of sincerity. The author nodded at him. "You're welcome," he said.
The author walked away, leaving Patrick alone in the kitchen. Patrick sighed and poured the cereal into the bowl when he heard Ford in the other room.
"Dipper! I'm going to need your help!"
Patrick looked to his right and saw Dipper quickly following Ford as the author led him out the first door. He sighed. Great, Dipper was still kissing his ass. And leaving his sister to eat breakfast all alone. "Good to know nothing's changed." He said to himself.
He poured milk and walked back into the living room. Finding Mabel alone at the table, Patrick walked over and sat down next to her. He smiled at her and she grinned back at him. The two started eating together. Even if Dipper wasn't there, they still had each other.
AN: And that was "Face it!", which replaces "Roadside Attraction" in Weirder Things, and probably for the best. I agree that with a show like Gravity Falls, which has a lot of great and memorable episodes, that one was not one of the best. As many of you have pointed out, the main problem with the episode it's the inconsistency and mainly Mabel and the girls hypocritically calling out Dipper for hitting on girls.
Yeah, I wasn't too hyped about doing that episode, so instead did the Gravity Falls: Lost Legends comic, "Face it!" This allowed me to replace "Roadside Attraction", but also allowed me to strengthen Dipper and Pacifica's relationship.
One of the biggest changes from the comic in this chapter was the appearance of Booker Bridges, my OC from my Owl House fanfic story, the Seventh Son. As well as the appearance of Luz and Amity. This was done because of a wanted poster in the background that had Eda on it.
Also, we had a bit of a brief appearance from Kaisa from Hilda. She was the one that Patrick bumped into. She looks the same as she does in the show. Being a witch, she's likely much older than she appears to be.
This was a pretty short and simple chapter to do. The next chapter is the beginning of the end, and once I finish that one, there's no going back. I'll stop all progress on my other stories. I'll not update anything else, so don't ask me to. I will not stop until I've completed Weirdmaggedon and finished Weirder Things!
But until that time comes, until Dipper and Mabel vs The Future, thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story and review it so that I know that I'm doing good and what to improve. If you have any questions or discussions, you'd have for me, then please in a Review or a PM me.
Thank you for reading and, in parting, I wish you all love, peace, health, God's blessing, and to have a wonderful day.