Chapter 40: A Boggart

"Where were you last night?"

Cressida blinks. Lily had barely been speaking to her at all since the beginning of the year. She hardly thought Lily would have taken notice of her disappearance last night. "I fell asleep in the boys' dorm. I was studying and tired."

"Was James there?"

Cressida narrows her eyes further, gathering her materials for her next class. She and Lily both share a free period in the same slot. Peter also has one, but he went to the kitchens. "For as long as I was awake, yes," she answers carefully. "Why?"

Lily shrugs nonchalantly. "He was supposed to meet me to go over our monthly meeting with the Prefects is all."

"Oh," is all Cressida can find herself to answer with. Latching her bag shut, she can only shrug in the same manner. "Honestly, I slept most of yesterday so I don't know what James was doing."

Lily nods with tight lips. "Understandable," she breathes. "Full moon and all Monday night."

"Ye-what?" Cressida's neck stiffens. In an attempt to play it off, her eyes divert away. "Was it? I don't really keep track of that stuff."

"Don't worry, you don't have to play that with me." Cressida doesn't answer. Lily smiles softly, clasping her hands and leans against the table behind her. "Remus told me. Well admittedly I asked him about it, and he told me the truth. I think he was upset at me and I haven't spoken to him since."

Cressida stops pretending to fiddle with her latch. She eyes off the Tower, but it is empty save two sixth years playing chess in the far end. "Honestly Lils, I don't think he's mad at you. Upset, yeah. He was admittedly rough that night but he… Remus struggles with the idea of people knowing. When we first found out, he didn't speak to us for a week after, even though it changed nothing for us. I know Remus cares enough about you that he values your opinion of him and he's probably stressed about what you're thinking about him. But he seemed better this morning. Maybe you should approach him again? About something normal, like nothing has changed."

Lily nods thoughtfully, taking her advice with open ears. "Cressida, have I changed?"

"Changed?" Cressida frowns, glancing over Lily. She hasn't changed from she can tell. "In what way?"

Lily's lip part, her head tilting to the side, but at the last moment she shakes her head. "Nevermind. It's nothing."

"It's clearly bothering you," Cressida counters. "I haven't noticed any change in you, but I also haven't been looking for anything."

Her lips purse, red hair framing her pale face and dark green eyes. "Don't take this personally," she begins. Cressida raises her brows, shifting her weight from foot to foot. "James has tried to get a date with me ever since third year when he did that stupid valentine's day thing. But then suddenly it was you."

Cressida's gut grumbles with uncertainty. She had tried not to think much of Lily's sudden acceptance of James. Would James rethink his options if he knew Lily was eager? "I-"

"Wait," Lily interjects. "I'm not trying to get with James. But I can't help but wonder if it was something about me that changed that made me less desirable." Her brows pinch together, face dropping into something Cressida knows well from her own mirror. "You've always been you and I've always been me. So why did James let me go?"

Cressida's throat tightens, wondering the same thing herself. "I… don't know, Lily. I think if that's something you need to know, then you should ask James. If you ask him to be honest, he would." Cressida can't bring herself to offer to do so herself, fearing James' answer. "Maybe it was him that changed, and not us."

Lily shakes her head with a sharp sniff. She plays with her fingers inside her clasped hands in front of her grey school skirt. "It happened with Remus too. Before the…werewolf thing."

Cressida feels like she is being thrown about by the sudden influx of information. "Remus? I really don't know where you're going with that." Lily and Remus had always been friends. Closer over the years, but Lily had never shown any interest in anything more. And for a long while, Remus did seem to have a crush on Lily but nothing had shown for it.

With a hushed voice, Lily confesses, "I asked him about the Seventh Year Ball coming up, trying to hint to ask me to go with him, and he said that he wanted to go alone. I feel stupid but I thought he might've liked me."

"Do you have feelings for him?" Cressida questions without pause.

Lily glances up at her, but doesn't hold her gaze. "Sort of." Her eyes dart back up with urgency, her chest folding forward. "Please don't tell him. I don't even know what I feel."

Cressida holds her hands up in surrender. "Secret Keeper," she promises. Twisting her lips around while she thinks, her only consolation to Lily is, "I don't know what Remus feels for you, but maybe wanting to go alone isn't what you think it is. I'll talk to him about it and try to see where's his head is at. That's not a promise to have him ask you, but if that is something he wants, I'll encourage it."

"Thank you," Lily smiles sincerely. "All I want is to understand. It's like boys suddenly turn away from me once I'm interested."

"They must think they're in a dream and scare themselves off." The two girls laugh softly. A beautiful moment of understanding and mutuality. Not something that comes often with the pair. "I'll tell James to find you about the Prefects meeting."

"Thank you. Tell him that he has to deal with the Boggart in the Prefects bathroom as well since he made me wait for him." Cressida cackles with a nod. A Boggart? James will have fun with that.

Xx

James sits next to her at the Gryffindor table, still waiting for the rest of their friends to arrive. His brows are set in a frown, thumb pulling at the skin of his opposite hand. Cressida frowns as well, peering over the spot where there are two light indents, ringed by reddish skin. "What happened there?"

"That's where he bit me," James mutters.

Her eyes widen in shock, head jolting backwards. "Bit you? You mean Sirius did actually bite you?"

James nods with wide eyes. "Yeah," he hisses. He is just as flabbergasted as she is. "All I was trying to do was wake you up for breakfast. Acting bloody feral, wasn't he?"

"Has he apologised?"

James shakes his head. "He didn't bring it up, so I didn't bother. But it was a bit of a shock to not be able to touch my own girlfriend. Maybe I should get him back by pretending I got rabies from him."

"We don't really have rabis in the UK," she points out before resetting her trail of thought. "Maybe he thought you were trying to pull a prank on me or something and just wasn't in the mood to deal with me being grumpy?"

"Don't know, don't care," James sings, tucking his arms underneath one another. "But if he does that again, I'm punching him in the nose, feral git." Cressida huffs, not objecting to the point. With a frustrated sigh that tells her James is doing the opposite of 'not caring' he leans close to her ear. "Look, I know he's into men and whatnot, but come on. Why else would he act like such a douchebag to me?"

Cressida groans, tipping her head back. "Maybe you pissed him off somehow? Or maybe he was still shitty about the full moon with Remus? He could have bitten Peter if he was the one instead," she suggests. "It could be anything. But he has never ever given me a sign that he feels that way."

James pokes his tongue against his cheek. "I don't know if you're really the best reader of those signs. You were blind to mine." She shoves her elbow against his side lightly, smiling to herself at his grunt of pain mixed with a chuckle. "Hey."

His chin sets heavily on the end of her shoulder. Cressida raises her brows in questioning but he only looks up to her with a smile. Smiling back, she kisses his forehead. He stays still for a moment, taking her gesture before he searches for more, lifting his head and pulling her mouth to his. She pulls away without warning. "Before I forget, you have to meet with Lily later tonight because you forgot to meet her yesterday. And she also said you have to deal with the Boggart in the Prefect's bathroom." Her smile is brimmed in amusement as James closes his eyes, groaning already.

"I don't even use the Prefect's bathroom." He lops his head around dramatically before letting it flop against the wood of the table. Cressida chuckles to herself, resting a hand on his thigh in an act of mocking support. "And a Boggart? Seriously?"

"That's what the woman in charge said," Cressida grins, drumming her fingers against the table. They wait a while longer, more and more students flooding their respective tables.

James lifts his head after a few minutes of sulking, resting it on his palm instead. "Do you reckon Peter has been quieter than usual?" he observes.

Cressida nods, a bit lost in thought. "Yeah, I do. He's always been quiet but even more so this past, what? Month? Any ideas why?" James shakes his head. "Great. Peter's been too quiet, Remus was acting overly strange Monday—even for a full moon, though I think I might know why—and Sirius is being a feral dog. Tables have turned and it's finally not me that's the unstable mess." Her hands splay out in a little dance.

"Hallelujah," James sings.

"And I can't believe how much of a hypocrite I'm going to sound like right now," she adds, barely suppressing her grin, "but for the love of Merlin, talk to Sirius. You two are brothers and clearly something's going on and I don't want to see it get worse."

"It's not hypocritical." James pinches her chin lightly, holding it steady as he leans closer to it. "You're just learning." He kisses her once more, throwing a blind vulgar gesture towards Heffler who passes by them with a whistle. Cressida laughs, catching the boy's wink.

Remus, Sirius and Peter all enter at the same time. Sirius takes the spot on her right and Cressida leans closer to his face, eying off the three scars tracking down his cheek and neck. Sirius and Remus had clearly made up from their easy-going nature during the day, fortunately for everybody. "It's healed nicely," she murmurs, running her thumb along one of the pale lines.

"I need to make up some cool story about it," he laughs. "I'm thinking about having a run-in with a vampire?"

"I think falling down the stairs is more believable," Peter smiles brazenly. Sirius gives Peter a deadpan, running his tongue over his teeth.

After the feast, James moans loudly about the Boggart but decides to get it over and done with so before they even head back to the dorms. The simplest way to deal with it is by casting a 'Ridikulous' charm and laughing it out of existence. Cressida offers to tag along, more so wanting to see the Prefect's Bathroom for the first time. She'd never bothered to peek before, too scared to accidentally run into someone.

The bathroom is a gianormous room with a creamy marble basin the size of a small swimming pool. The walls are decorated in large, moving stained glass. At the head of the bath is a series of taps and she could hardly begin to fathom what they could all be for. Cressida stays near the entrance to the bath whilst James searches around the room for the Boggart.

"There you are," he murmurs, even his soft words travelling to her ears in the echoing design of the room. The Boggart is in the middle of transforming, forbidding them to see its true form. It is a blurred mess for a moment, but takes the shape of a mound.

But the mound is not made up of dirt or stone. No, it is made up of bodies. Cressida's stomach lurches. At the very bottom is Peter, blood pouring from a wound in his head, eyes closed and his body lifeless. Lain over top of him is Remus. Unlike Peter, he lies on his back, with no wounds to show but his body just as still. He is wearing an earthy toned sweater and his sandy hair is styled so alike what she saw on him today.

On top of Remus is Sirius, lying on his stomach across Remus' legs. His black eyes are open and unmoving, a glint off the stained glass giving a false hint of life. His arms are splayed out, the tips of his fingers grazing the cold tiles. He has scrapes down the side of his pale face, blood dripping down onto Remus' brown pants.

She feels herself stop breathing, seeing three of her friends dead on the ground. But it doesn't even end there. On top of all of them is her own face. Eyes just as open as Sirius and just as still. Blood pours from her nose and mouth, dripping down her skin like a river and onto Sirius' back, staining his white shirt. Her hair is pulled into a loose bun, wand poking through it.

It is strange to see with her own eyes. Her own death. But it is worse to see the others. Her own body doesn't seem to belong to her. Cressida barely recognises it as her mirror image. But Remus, Peter and Sirius; it could be truly them if she was none-the-wiser.

"James?" Her voice cracks. James still hasn't even raised his wand, staring deathly still at the Boggart's form in front of him, underneath the stained-glass mermaid. "James."

"Ridikulous." His voice is hard and flat. The Boggart shrinks on itself, transforming into something else entirely. Their bodies float up, the glint of clear string coming off all of their limbs. Puppets. Their characters begin some strange play that would surely amuse them if they listened properly.

James storms towards the exit, snatching her hand along the way. There's no resistance in her step, trailing behind him within a step. They exit into the empty hallway, the portrait door locking behind them. He stops out of nowhere, releasing her hand and swirling around. He pulls her flush to his chest, a hand raking through the back of her head and tightly, almost painfully, gripping her hair. The other spans the entirety of her back, fingers digging into the skin under her shoulder.

Cressida wraps her arms around him just as tightly, but takes her time to feel every part of him along the way. His heart races against her chest. She has a feeling if the Boggart had taken to her presence first, the sight wouldn't be much different. Only the body on top.