Chapter 45: Coming to the End
Cressida goes the breakfast the next morning particularly early. Already there is Remus, sipping from a mug with the Daily Prophet in front of him. His face has a new scar that runs down the side of his chin, still freshly pink. It had come from him tripping over Sirius' shoes a few days ago, cutting the skin on the wooden floor. He hasn't said so aloud, but Cressida has an inkling that he's happy about it. A scar that isn't from his own claws.
His thumb runs over it unconsciously as he reads, not even noticing her presence until she flicks the back of the newspaper. It drops away from his face, a relieved expression forming. "Cress," he greets. "Lovely morning, isn't it?"
"That was as sarcastic as McGonagall stating the Transfiguration exam would be easy," she snorts back in a grumbling tone. She hadn't seen Sirius since yesterday afternoon since he had retreated somewhere for the rest of the day and didn't bother coming to dinner either. "Did Sirius go back to the dorm last night?"
"Eventually." Remus folds the Daily Prophet, placing it to the side. "James gave him a right good lecture. What are you thinking about it all?"
Cressida shrugs, running her nail along the table's wooden grooves. "Sirius is loyal to a fault. And I think that fault is that he would do anything we asked of him. And maybe that's what I unconsciously did. Pushed a sense of responsibility for taking care of me."
"You can't blame yourself for the way he acts," Remus points out sternly.
"I won't. But he thinks his heart was in the right place, and, maybe it was but it just became too much, you know?" Cressida frowns, resting her chin on her fist. She shouldn't be making excuses for him. Especially with the way he's been acting. But it's so hard when he claims to have done it for her, and he's really has been. She just hadn't drawn the line before. Now she knows he wouldn't create one for himself, she would and if he respects that, then everything can be forgiven. Almost everything. "Did he apologise for biting James? Because that peeved me off and I told James to confront him about it but-"
"Sirius apologised," Remus confirms. "I think James is more upset that Sirius tried to block him from you. And Sirius is upset because you're both upset at him." Remus blinks, staring at the wood of the table. "I don't really understand it to be honest."
"I don't understand boys in general," she laughs softly, reaching for an apple. The Seventh Year's Ball is only in a few days. Their last exam is this afternoon and then they'd be finished their Hogwarts' education for good. And out they go into the real world. It doesn't seem that much scarier.
Sirius, James and Peter all arrive together; which is a good sign in itself. James and Peter take to her side of the table, Sirius sitting opposite James, on Remus' left. Cressida eyes the pair of boys off carefully, sensing a slight uneasiness, but they are trying not to show anything. Sirius avoids eye contact with her mostly, keeping to himself; not even speaking much with Remus or Peter.
"I'm going to go do some final revision down by the lake," she declares once breakfast is well and truly over.
"I'll come," James says, followed by Remus and Peters show of agreement. They inadvertedly look to Sirius.
"If everybody else is," he murmurs.
Ducking back up to the Tower to collect their textbooks and notes, they then make their way down to the Lake rather quietly. Sirius lingers to the back and knowing that they need to at least talk, Cressida falls behind to match his pace. James, Peter and Remus walk in front of them, the former's hands wildly animated in a retelling of how he 'single-handedly' won them the Quidditch Cup. "I'm not yours," Cressida says to the boy, gentle but firm. "You don't have a deed to my life."
"That's not what I meant," he mutters, his jaw sticking forward. Frustration swells in his eyes again. "All I've tried to do is take care of you."
"And you've done that. I owe you so much. But it's come to the point where you're biting people for what? Trying to wake me up? Sirius, I shouldn't have let you take so much responsibility for my life, and I'm sorry for putting you in that position. You're eighteen years old and you shouldn't feel like you have a child to take care of."
He jumps in front of her, grasping each shoulder. "But I want to. That's what you're not getting. I don't think you're a child and I'm sorry for suggesting that you were." His hands loosen on her shoulders, slipping down to her sleeves. "I don't want you to be upset at me and cut me off."
"And I'm not going to do that," she sings to him, brushing his hands off and slipping back into the path ahead. She rejoins James, Remus and Peter, wringing her arm around James'. She checks over her shoulder after a few paces, watching Sirius. He stands in place for a moment, then jogs as she did to catch up.
They settle underneath a tree on the Black Lake's shoreline, a soft wind pushing tiny waves onto the pebbly ground. The castle acts as a beautiful backdrop with a pastel blue sky with artistic looking clouds. It's a peaceful serenity that they won't find anywhere else.
Remus and Peter settle with their own textbooks in hand, adding to their pile of notes. Sirius, perhaps wanting some time alone without being too far off, takes to the tree itself, climbing up to its middle branches, perching with his back along a thick branch and his feet against the trunk. James finds his own source of comfort along the grass, planting his head on her thigh. "That doesn't look like study to me," she muses humorously, perching her book on her other thigh which is tented at the knee.
"I'm thinking about studying," he whispers, pointing to his temple with closed eyes.
"Alright," she dismisses with a chuckle. He would manage to do just as well as her, if not better anyway. Why study when you have the natural brilliance? "I'm looking forward to the Ball," she says quietly, making it clear that she is talking to him only so Remus and Peter don't grow frustrated at her attempts of conversation. "But I'm not sure what to expect. I never thought to ask Elias or Gideon and Fabian."
"Dancing and food," James laughs. Cressida smiles down at him, admiring the way his smile looks when she is above him. "Are you hoping for anything specific?"
"A good night." With a stink eye, she adds, "Which means no shenanigans. I don't want my dress to be covered in exploding jelly or something."
"We have nothing planned," he responds innocently.
They study into the afternoon, breaking it for lunch and then stay inside the Gryffindor Tower until the time of their final exam comes to start. It's nerve-wracking, but also thrilling. After this, it doesn't matter. She has a line of work already offered to her and a place to go that isn't filled with broken glass and the stench of beer. A stable life, if not for the war that is truly starting to control the wizarding world.
It's in the Daily Prophet every day, not to mention the letters she receives from Elias and occasionally Molly who updates her on what she knows about her brothers. And soon she'll be in the midst of it, and she doesn't doubt so will the rest of her friends. Cressida doesn't know yet if that's a good thing or not.
"Students," McGonagall calls to attention. "Quills down, no more writing or I will tear up your paper. The Defence Against the Dark Arts Exam has now concluded, and hereby, the ending of your examination period. I hope-"
Their deputy headmistress is cut off by the deafening hollering of a hall filled with students who have just finished their schooling. McGonagall only attempts a few more words before resigning and waving her hands in front of her face and turning around to her desk.
Cressida's chair scrapes against the ground, her voice just as loud as anybody else's. A few students throw their anti-cheating quills in the air in replacement for hats, but she doesn't dare, already covering her face in case of one poking her eye out. Through the midst of robed students, she finds Remus first, giving him a crazy dance that he mocks before embracing each other in a hug of completion. "Tell me I never have to make a potion again," she laughs, grabbing a fistful of his back robe. "Please, for the love of Merlin!"
Remus joins her in her pleading. "And let my eyebrows be saved!" Soon the pair are pushed with the crowd out of the doors. They join with the other three in the corridor and their celebration continues.
"I never have to look at Professor Binn's ugly face ever again," Sirius sings, dancing in a circle, thrashing his arms in a out. "Hurrah! Hurrah! Never have to see Mrs Norris again! Hurrah Hurrah! Never have to bargain with Peeves just so I don't die. Hurrah!"
The other four watch him, eyes brimming with tears of laughter. "Should I tell him we still have over a week left of being here?" James taunts with a smirk.
Sirius doesn't let his grin falter. "Don't ruin the moment, Potter."
"Yeah, don't ruin the moment, James," Cressida echoes. James purses his lips, snapping out to tickle her side. "How are we all feeling? Like freemen?"
Peter shakes his head with wide, tired eyes. "My brain is still on study mode."
"I've have just forgotten everything I've ever learnt," Remus states with a contemplative expression. "Not that I'll ever need it for a job."
"Oi, what's that supposed to mean?" prods James.
Remus shrugs, a shroud of self-consciousness cloaking him. "I don't think anybody would reasonably hire someone like me."
"That's bullshit," Sirius snorts. "There have to be loads of people out there that don't care." Remus answers him with a meek smile and nod of agreement. Cressida, on the other hand, glances up to James who stands next to her. They share an expression of understanding. No, there aren't a lot of people who will.
As they head back to their dormitory to shred themselves of their uniforms and belongings, James walks slower then the rest, pulling Remus back by the sleeve. Already knowing what he is going to offer their friend, Cressida keeps her pace in line with Sirius and Peter. If she were offered help like James is about to offer, she wouldn't want people listening in either, knowing they'd sense how helpless she sounds.
They pass through other students that are heading to their own exams which started a week later than their own. All four House colours mesh together, the black robes making their faces the only distinguishable features. For the most part, they blur past her, until one in particular, stresses to catch her eye.
Cressida flicks hers away, having no interest in talking to Regulus. And what's he even trying to do; talking to her in public? Not like him. But against her hopes, he continues to make himself known, walking directly towards her.
"Hawthorne," he calls firmly, stepping right in front of her. Cressida glances to Sirius on her right whose eyes are narrowed and sharp, pointed at his younger brother. "I think you should really think about what I told you."
"And I told you not to bother," she rebuttals. "McMullen is a creep, but he's not dangerous."
"Will you at least let me tell you what I know?"
Cressida bites the inside of her lip. She glances to her right again, finding Sirius still glaring at his brother. Then she glances to the left, finding Peter looking extremely uncomfortable. "No." Nudging Sirius to the side, she uses the gap to walk past Regulus and continue on her original path. "He's using me for something," she excuses to the two boys. "I just don't know what."
"Do you think he did actually know something?" Sirius wonders.
"From what he tried to tell me before, it's only gossip. And I'm not worried about it at all." They continue walking, the James and Remus catching back up to them after some time. The mood between them all has sobered, but still remains in good spirits.
That is until, for Cressida, when she spots Snape. He brushes past them with three other Slytherins who came out of the same exam. Almost in slow motion, his head turns, revealing his hooked nose first, then his dark eyes which peek out from behind his shiny, black hair. The slightest, sly smirk adorns his thin lips when his eyes meet hers and an icy strike sends chills down to her toes.
Cressida's eyes immediately search around for imminent danger but finds nothing but study-lugged students and the Transfiguration courtyard. Forcing her worries off as his attempts to scare her, her lips pull back in a smile and her eyes set straight. The Ball is coming soon, and then her birthday a few days after. Then they'd officially be graduates, never to catch the Hogwarts Express ever again.
"Did someone say they were going to share their chocolate?" she questions with a goading smirk in Remus' direction. He scoffs loudly.
"Yeah right."