Chapter 7. You
Astrid laid out one simple rule before she left Grimmauld Place, that no one would tell her father of her undercover mission. Under any circumstances. Even in the event of her death she made Sirius and the others promise to hide the true reason of her demise, she could not have her father knowing, spoiling her image, spoiling the perfect picture of his daughter. She had spent her life keeping up the appearance of a perfect daughter, always doing well in school, always doing the right thing, she didn't want Alastor to fret over her and her safety, he was at heart a worrier despite his hard exterior.
Harry had left Grimmauld Place to re-join his friends at Hogwarts, but Astrid stayed for a drink, merlin knew she needed one after the few weeks she'd had. She took a long swig of the fire whiskey in her glass, feeling the familiar burn down the back of her throat.
"That went down rather smoothly for such a good girl," Sirius mocked as he too took a gulp from his own glass. Astrid smiled smally, thinking of all the underage drinking her and the girls had got up to at Beauxbatons, the late-night parties, the drinking games, stumbling to the school kitchen at three in the morning and painting the common room walls with vomit. Good times she thought to herself with a chuckle.
"Would it surprise you to find out I'm not as much of an angel as my father thinks?" Astrid asked the man, she took one last long drink, finishing the glass and setting it down on the coffee table.
"No," Sirius admitted, "We all rebel against our parents, I imagine it's harder to get caught when you're schooled in a different country,"
"True," Astrid nodded, thinking off all the Christmases she spent in France because her father deemed it unsafe to come home for the holidays, as much as she loved and respected her father, she felt the sting of his long-distance parenting.
"I have to ask, are you sure about this Astrid?" Sirius asked seriously. Astrid pondered for a second before nodding her head yes.
"I'm sure, do you think me incapable? Be honest," Serious sighed as he thought about his reservations about Astrids mission before finally speaking up.
"I think you very capable practically and knowledgeably, your father has told us time and time again you are well prepared for a fight, and you have more in that little head of yours in twenty-two years than most do in a lifetime, you just seem to absorb knowledge."
"But?" Astrid asked with a slight smile, she knew it was coming.
"But," Serious started with a small supportive smile, "I worry about whether you are ready emotionally,"
"What's that suppose to mean?" Astrid asked, screwing up her nose, wondering whether to take it as an insult or not.
"I mean that you're young and -"
"Naïve?" Astrid asked furrowing her brows.
"Not naïve," Sirius explained, "You're just… not emotionally experienced, romantically that is," Sirius tried to choose his words well, not wanting to cause offence. Astrid studied Sirius' face and decoded his meaning,
"You think I'm going to fall in love," Astrid whispered, "You think I'm going to fall in love with Malfoy," Sirius gave a slight nod at her words.
"He's an incredibly charming individual when he wants to be Astrid, he has a way with words, and a way of manipulating people over to him, that's how he came away with a clean slate from the first wizarding war, he was Voldemort's right-hand man then as he is now, you know that right?" Astrid didn't know, her father only spoke of the ones he caught, and how he caught them, he never spoke of the ones that got away, of which Astrid imagined were many.
"He schmoozed his way out of Azkaban?" Astrid asked.
"Yes, he did exactly that, told everyone he was under the imperius curse, and naturally everyone believed the ever-charming Lucius Malfoy," disgust was evident in Sirius' voice. "You need to stay sharp, as much as Snape ensures us Malfoy has no… evil intentions… you cannot let your guard down, understand?"
"I understand," Astrid gulped.
It was late when Astrid arrived back at Hogwarts, Dumbledores office was vacant, he was probably asleep, she silently snook down passed the stone gargoyle and made her way silently through the school's corridors towards her chambers, her wand lighting the way. She loved yet hated the school at night, it became a maze, every stairwell and corridor blending in each other in the darkness, but it was also so beautiful, the way the stars and moon shone so brightly out the windows, the stunning shadows their light cast through the castle, the way the air was still and peaceful. Astrid rounded a corner that led to an internal grassed courtyard and came across an interesting sight.
Severus and Lucius having what looked like a heated discussion, a heated discussion that ended as soon as they noticed the illumination of her wand.
"Who exactly is out of bed passed curfew?!" Severus bellowed from the grassed courtyard, he readied himself to march over but resisted when he realised the figure was approaching them. Astrid extinguished the light coming from the end of her wand and stuffed it into her skirt pocket.
"I hope I'm not interrupting," Astrid said, crossing her arms firmly over her chest as she reached the two men, the night air was freezing and the breeze that blew through the courtyard chilled her to the bone. She rubbed her bare arms lightly.
"Ah, Miss Moody," Severus acknowledged. Astrid tried her best to keep her eyes from wandering over to Lucius, instead keeping them fixed on the potions master. A sickly feeling built in the pit of her stomach the more she resisted a glance in his direction. She could feel his eyes on her, as if they were burning her skin.
"Professor Moody," Astrid corrected, she was getting really sick of correcting her title by this point.
"Forgive me, with your short stature I believed you to be a student out of bed," Severus mused, earning a smirk from Lucius that she spotted out of the corner of her eye, she wanted to smack it right off his face. Astrid shot the professor a sarcastic smile.
"No harm done," Astrid said sweetly, "Why pray tell are you both meeting out here in the cold night? It's almost like you're both… up to something," She smiled.
"Simply old friends catching up, the castle is beautiful out here at night, much prefer it to the stuffiness inside," Lucius commented with a sly smile. Astrid gave in, glancing at the man as he spoke, she felt even more sick now as an uncomfortable lump grew in the back of her throat.
"As much as I'd love to continue our conversation Lucius, it's time I retired," Severus announced, "Good night, Mr Malfoy, Miss Moody," Snape nodded at each of them, his lips almost curled up into a smile as he brushed passed Astrid in the directions of the dungeons.
"Miss Moody I've-
"Lucius I-" both individuals stopped their sentences mid track as they spoke exactly at the same time, talking over each other, each stopped their words to listen to the other resulting in an awkward silence. Lucius looked at the young professor with mischievous eyes,
"I thought you said we weren't on a first name basis," Lucius smirked smugly. Astrids stomach was in knots, she glanced up at the sparkling stars above them for a moment whilst she composed herself.
"Well, I don't have a habit of kissing strangers back, so I guess we are friends after all," She whispered, still staring at the night sky above them, she rubbed her arms gently, trying to create at least a little heat for them. Goosebumps covered her skin as the breeze gently whipped her blonde waves around her shoulders. Silently Lucius removed his cloak and draped it over the young lady's shoulders, startling her slightly.
"Such a gentleman," Astrid smirked, eyeing up the blonde man suspiciously.
"I'm not going to knowingly let a beautiful young lady like yourself freeze," Lucius snorted, he too suddenly taking an interest in the stars that littered the sky above them.
"Thank you," Astrid eventually whispered, shooting the man a grateful side ways glance, paired with a small smile.
"I wanted to apologise for the other day," Lucius spoke with a regretful sigh, "I should not have acted the way I did, I am truly sorry," There was a pause as Astrid pondered her words, mapping out her plan of attack.
"Why did you act that way?" Astrid asked the man. Lucius didn't know himself why he acted in such a manner, he told himself he was acting the part, but he was truly hurt by the girl's rejection.
"Being who I am, raised the way I am… I'm used to getting everything I want, and when I don't…. Let's just say I don't handle it very well," He spoke honestly, it was probably one of the most honest things he'd said to anyone. Astrid closed her eyes for a moment as a shiver ran down her spine, she knew what she needed to ask, how she needed to play the part, and it took strength for her to say the words. She looked at the man before her, the terrible, evil, man, she looked into his eyes deeply and asked him:
"And what is it you want?" Her voice was barely a whisper. Lucius paused for a moment as he stared into her, and in the light of the moonlight she noticed his gaze soften.
"You, Astrid," He whispered back, "I want you,"
Astrid had never been lucky enough to hear those words from a boy or man, she understood now what Sirius meant by her not being emotionally ready, because as soon as those words left his mouth she felt as if all the air had been knocked out of her, her heart fluttered in her chest, the sickly feeling in her stomach was there still, but it felt different somehow. Astrid suddenly felt like a silly little school girl again, she knew she had to fight that feeling and push it as deep as it would go. Her eyes welled up slightly as she fought her internal battle. Lucius noticed, pulling a monogrammed handkerchief from his trouser pocket and handing it to the girl.
"That's not exactly the response I was hoping for," He joked lightly as Astrid dabbed the handkerchief at her eyes, she could smell his scent on it, a mixture of leather, fire whiskey, wood and peppermint.
"It's just… you're married… you're my father's enemy, we could never be-"
"We can be anything we want to be Astrid," he told her confidently, stepping closer to her. A small smile crept onto her face as she moved to hand the handkerchief back.
"Keep it," Lucius said, pushing her hand away softly. She nodded folding the soft white monogrammed fabric into her skirt pocket with her wand.
"Why me?" She asked, narrowing her eyes on the man playfully. She thanked her winters taking part in the school productions, never had she thought her acting skills would come in useful. Lucius breathed considering his words wisely.
"I don't know," He said honestly, "I feel drawn to you, like a moth to a flame. After that first day when gave Draco detention… I haven't stopped thinking about you, the way you smile, how you have the nerve to stand up to me, your feistiness, the curves of your body, I think about all of you, all of the time," Astrid took in his words, Sirius was right she thought to herself, he had a way with words and knew how to turn the charm on like a tap. Astrid fought hard to stop herself getting flushed down the drain by it all.
"You flatter me Lucius," Astrid whispered, looking away, afraid to get lost in his blue eyes.
"Not flattery, just the truth," Lucius spoke, his voice like velvet. Astrid sighed, rolling her eyes at his words with a smile, she swore she almost heard a chuckle from the man.
"Are you like this with all the ladies?" She teased, her cheeks flushed pink involuntarily, she cursed her girlishness.
"Just one," Lucius schmoozed, closing the distance between him and the young professor, their chests almost touching he reached out to her face, tucking a dancing lock of hair behind her ear, capturing it out of the winds grasp. His hand hovered around her jaw, eventually lifting it with one finger up to face him. Slowly and gently, he leant down and placed a small peck on her lips, a far contrast to their first kiss. Astrid found it worryingly easy to lean into the kiss and deepen it. Placing both hands on his chest she rose up onto her tiptoes and kissed the man back. His hand was in her hair now, feeling it slip through his fingers like silken threads. Eventually Astrid decided it was time to break off the kiss, leaning back she pushed against his chest lightly and bit her lip.
"I should head back to my chambers," she said shyly.
"Allow me to escort you?" Lucius offered his arm gallantly. Astrid took it hesitantly slipping her arm through his and the two of them began walking across the dewy grass. "You never know what strange men could be wandering the castle at night," Astrid held in a snort as she shot him a sideways glance.
"You're right, whatever would I do without you here to protect me," Astrid chuckled, she felt disgusted with herself laughing at his jokes, gripping onto his arm like she did, it sickened her. Well, almost all of her. The two of them made small talk as they walked towards her chambers, his cane tapping along the floor rhythmically, and upon reaching her door she pulled Lucius' cloak from her shoulders and handed it back to him.
"Thank you," She whispered, Lucius took the cloak and looped it over his arm.
"Good night… Astrid," He smirked, leaning down and placing a delicate kiss on her cheek. Astrid reached for her door and just before slipping through it she looked back at the blonde man. His hair was practically glowing in the moonlight. She smiled warmly.
"Good night, Lucius," And just like that she disappeared through the door, closing it firmly behind her. Her hand covered her mouth quickly as an overwhelming feeling of nausea filled her. She hurried to the bathroom, only just making it to the toilet before she spewed what was left of the fire whiskey in her stomach into the toilet bowl. Her knees dug into the cold tiles as she heaved. Lifting her head and wiping at her mouth she flushed the toilet and sat back against the cold tiled wall, pulling her knees up to her chest she rested her head against them, they were still cool from the tiles.
"Why the hell did I agree to this?" She asked herself breathily, closing her eyes.
Unbeknownst to her and Lucius, a figure clad head to toe in pink observed their little interaction outside Astrid's chamber door, and with a huff and a high-pitched squeak of disapproval the figure scurried off.