Chapter 12. Shattered
Lucius left not long after his and Astrid's steamy afternoon in bed, matters at the manor to attend to, which Astrid understood. As Astrid still undressed, wrapped up in crumpled green sheets a pit had grown in her stomach as she thought of the wife that waited for Lucius in their big house. Even though Lucius had assured her that he and his wife were Husband and Wife on paper only it still didn't erase the guilty feeling that sprung up inside her, no matter what she told herself, she was still 'the other woman', a home wrecker. She imagined how he would greet his wife when he got home, was it a nod, a simple hello, an embrace, a kiss? Astrid knew very little of Mrs Malfoy, Draco's mother, she imagined what she could look like, pale perhaps, with white blonde hair like her husband and son.
Astrid was pulled out of her train of thought by a tapping at her window, a white snowy owl perched a ledge by a window at the bottom of the stairs. With a groan Astrid pulled her aching legs from the bed, wrapping the green sheet securely around herself she hobbled down the steps, her legs quivering with each one.
She opened the window, the cold winds pushing their way through and hitting her skin like tiny knives, her skin covered with goosebumps instantly.
"Thank you," She whispered to the owl, giving it a little scratch on the noggin and taking its letter. Without any hesitation she pulled the window shut, fighting against the wind to latch it closed.
Astrid strolled over to her desk as she opened the letter, which only contained a small piece of parchment, it read:
Professor Moody.
Seventh floor, left corridor, opposite the tapestry.
Tomorrow 4pm.
HP.
"That was quickly done, good job Mr Potter," Astrid smiled to herself as she stashed the parchment to the bottom of her desk drawer.
The next day Astrid checked her watch, 3:55pm, she had found the corridor in the note, and the tapestry too, but there was still no sign of anybody. Sundays always seemed to make the castle feel so empty and cold, no students roamed the halls, they were all in their common rooms, the library, or in the grounds.
Astrid took the extra time to study the tapestry before her, it was rather amusing, a depiction of Barnabus the Barny teaching trolls ballet, Astrid wasn't aware of any significance to the piece, it certainly wasn't mentioned in any of her history books, it was amusing to look at though.
"Professor," Harry greeted the young woman, causing her to jolt slightly.
"Mr Potter, I got your message, this is the right place, but I see no… location?" Astrid asked quizzically, looking around.
"It's right there," Harry smiled pointing at a blank stone wall, "Neville found it, it's quite amazing actually, look here," Harry approached the wall, and out of nowhere dust and mortar began to shake and fall from the stonework. An intricate stone pattern began to shape itself into the wall, like vines up and down, followed by iron bars, recreating the swirling vine shapes. Before Astrid knew it a large beautiful door had appeared before her on the castle wall, seemingly out of nowhere.
"It's the Room of Requirement," Hermione chimed in as her and Ron approached from the end of the corridor. "When you have a real need for something, it shows itself, fully equipped with what you need,"
"So, if I was desperate for the toilet, it would become a restroom?" Astrid wondered aloud, bemused by the idea.
"That's what I said!" Ron laughed, pointing at himself goofily. Hermione rolled her eyes at the ginger boy and stepped forward pressing on the door, pushing it open.
"Shall we?" Hermione asked with a cheeky grin.
For an hour Harry and Astrid had taught a lesson on disarming another individual. Some of them were grasping it, the Weasley twins and Hermione had become particularly talented with the Expelliarmus charm, disarming the dummy multiple times. Neville however was struggling.
"I'm hopeless," Neville cried.
"You're just flourishing your wand too much, try it like this, Expelliarmus!" Harry demonstrated for the boy. Neville gave it another go, the dummy's wand shaking in its grasp but not actually removing itself entirely.
"You're getting there Mr Longbottom, it took me a long time to master this one," Astrid smiled as she patted him on the shoulder. Astrid joined Harry watching the higher achieving students practice on each other, taking turns to disarm the others wand.
"You're good at this Harry," Astrid smiled as she watched over the students.
"It's a good job, that charms saved my skin a few times now," Harry said sadly.
"I meant the teaching, but your Expelliarmus is exceptional also," Astrid smirked. "Have you ever thought of becoming a teacher?"
"I hadn't given it much thought to be honest, I want to become an Auror, like your father," Harry said nobly. "Forgive me for prying Professor, but why didn't you follow your father's footsteps?"
"You don't have to call me Professor here Harry, just Astrid will do. I didn't follow my father's path because I saw how it broke apart our family, living in fear and paranoia all the time," Astrid admitted lowly. "Good job Ginny," Astrid called out to the Weasley girl as she disarmed her brother's wand.
"I get your father like that, I worry every day, about You-Know-Who, I don't fear him, but I fear what he will do next,"
"I'm not surprised, you have quite a burden on your shoulders Harry,"
"So, what made you choose teaching, how did you know what's what you wanted to do?" Harry enquired, changing the subject from himself sheepishly.
"I didn't even think about teaching until Dumbledore asked me a few days before term," Astrid laughed. "I wanted to write a book, travel the world, unearth some rare wizarding artifacts, maybe uncover a tomb or two,"
"Like a wizarding Indiana Jones," Harry smiled.
"Exactly, but my father wouldn't have it, he wanted me in sight, protected, at all times, he didn't even want me to come here, thought it wasn't safe," Astrid breathed.
"Nice one Hermione!" Harry praised his friend, "Do you think its safe here?" Harry asked, his voice low, not much louder than a whisper.
"No," Astrid breathed honestly. "I don't."
After Astrid had finished with Dumbledore's Army, the nickname they called themselves, she came across an interesting scene on the way back to her tower. Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape having an intense conversation in a darkened corridor, the winter sun had already set leaving the hallway basked in the golden glow of the fire lit lamps lining it. Astrid peaked around the corner, trying to decipher their words to no avail, it was too dark to lip read. Astrid bit the bullet and rounded the corner as if she didn't know they were there, interrupting them.
"Good evening, Professor, Mr Malfoy," Astrid smiled as she approached the two. Severus whispered something into Draco's ear, it looked to be more of a hiss than a sweet message before sending the boy on his way by the scruff of his neck. Draco shot daggers into the young professor as he passed her, sucking his teeth with contempt.
"What was all that about Severus?" Astrid asked, glancing over her shoulder to the retreating boy.
"Teenage angst, rife in boys of that age," Severus explained, his face twisted as he too watched the back of Draco's head disappear around the corner Astrid had just come from.
"Right, of course, teenage boys," Astrid sighed, rolling her eyes. "Anything I can help with?"
"I think you've done quite enough Miss Moody," Severus' tone was as if he was telling off a child, an accusatory undertone to it, sending a ping of sass up Astrids back instantly.
"What exactly is that suppose to mean?" Astrid's tone was less sweet now, she furrowed her brow and balled her tiny fists.
"When I suggested your… covert operation… it was meant to be exactly that, secret, subtle, incognito," Severus spat, "Perhaps you'd like to borrow a dictionary to find the meaning of those words?"
"Severus! I-"
"That boy saw you and Lucius at Trelawney's outing, all over each other like a pair of teenagers. That boy's world has just shattered around him," Severus burst, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Lucius held my hand, that is all, we were hardly all over each other," Astrid defended, the guilt she had pushed down deep rising up. "I didn't realise Draco was there, I didn't see know or I wouldn't have let Lucius do that." Severus simply scoffed at the girls' words. "He told me he and his wife were separated, only married for show, Draco knew that surely?" Astrid's voice was now a whisper as she her breathing increased rapidly, her heart pounding away in her chest.
"Why does it matter what the state of his marriage is in? He's a mark Astrid, a target, you were meant to extract information out of him for the Order, instead you've been running around falling in love with enemy, you think he loves you? You're his play thing, not his partner, don't fall down that rabbit hole," Severus said lowly. Tears threatened to escape Astrid's eyes as she shook her head.
"No, it's not true, I'm not falling in love with him, I'm still on task, listening to his every word waiting for him to slip up," Astrid couldn't even convince herself of that, never mind Snape.
"You're lying to yourself and me Astrid, you've become too attached, I thought you capable of this kind of mission being your father's daughter but…" Snape narrowed his beady eyes on the girl. The girl stared back at him with her own dazzling blue ones, the flames from the torched danced in the pools of tears that gathered in her shiny orbs.
"But?"
"But I was wrong, you're nothing like Alastor, you're weak. I'm going to the order this week and telling them everything, in the mean-time, you are not to leave the Malfoys alone, both of them, understand me?" Severus hissed. "That boy has enough on his plate without worrying about his professor's affair with his father,"
Snape took his leave, his black cloak swishing down the corridor as he stalked off in the direction of the spiral staircase leading to the dungeons. Astrid leant against the stone castle wall, her hand on her heart, struggling to get her breath. Tears fell down her cheeks now, there was no one to hold them in for. Closing her eyes and feeling the warm salt water coat her lashes, she slipped down the wall, brining her knees to her face as she whispered between sobs:
"What am I to do?"
The next few weeks felt like an eternity yet a whirlwind at the same time, Astrid was numb to everything around her. Severus had spoken to the order, who had told her to cut contact with Malfoy and concentrate on her teaching, if she couldn't do that Albus would remove her from the school. So reluctantly agreed.
Lucius had tried to make contact with her, at first in person he attempted to call on her, but Astrid simply told him to go away, no explanation given. She found him in her chambers one day and she screamed at him to leave until he did so, it ate her up inside for days. He sent owls with letters, presents, he didn't give up easily which only made it harder for Astrid to resist him. And then one day he stopped, there was no more knocks, no owls on her window, parchment notes slipped under her door, he stopped fighting to keep her. That's when Astrid really became numb to all around her. The worst part was she was acutely aware of her miserableness, and it angered her she let a boy, no a man, do this to her, make her feel this way, and only after a few short weeks. She blamed it on her inexperience, she went to an all-girls school she never had a proper boyfriend or teenage romance.
Astrid stepped back bit by bit with Dumbledores Army, she started missed the odd session when she didn't want to get out of the security of her bed, and now she had retired from the group completely. Harry is better at it than you anyway, she thought to herself, they're probably better off without.
Severus had tried to patch things up with the young professor, realising his words had hit her deep he attempted to make small steps to repairing their professional relationship, but Astrid ignored his feeble attempts.
This particular day Albus had asked Astrid to help Severus with preparations for the Yule Ball, she was to meet him in the Great Hall at two o-clock. When she arrived, she was met with the defiant stares of the fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh year Slytherins, who were sat lazily on benches and leant against walls whilst Professor Snape fussed with something in the corner of the room.
"Professor Moody, good of you to join us," Professor Snape announced in his usual nasally voice. Astrid flashed a polite smile and dropped it from her face immediately as she clasped her hands together.
"We are here today Slytherin, to practice the dance for the Yule Ball, I will not be having the great house of Slytherin let down by clumsy feet and wondering hands, Mr Goyle." Snape addressed the cohort of green robed students. Astrid noted how controlled he was of the group, not a single student dared make a peep whilst the professor spoke, he definitely ruled his classes with an iron fist. "Professor Moody has kindly volunteered to help," Snape added, Astrid exchanged a look with the professor as he waved his wand at the gramophone he had been tinkering with in the corner. A slow orchestral song began to play. "Professor Moody if you will?" Snape held out his cold pale hand for the girl to take. She did with an eye roll.
Astrid expected the students to hoot and holler at the sight of the two professors joining hands, however the Slytherins knew better than to test their head of house. Snape pulled the young professor round, her right hand held his left, his cold long fingers wrapping around hers delicately, Astrid's left hand rested lightly on his shoulder, whilst Snape placed his remaining hand on the mid of her back, his fingers spreading over her the silky fabric of her flowing dress.
"Hands will be up here, any lower and you can get yourself a one-way ticket back to your dormitory boys," Snape announced with a sneer as he led the young professor around the make shift dance floor. The potions master was surprisingly light on his feet, she didn't take him a as a dancer. Snape on the other hand was not surprised at Professor Moody's elegance, the way she glided effortlessly, following his direction.
"Boys take note, we do not drag out partners across the dance floor, it is a dance of two that takes trust and teamwork," Snape's voice boomed across the hall, with a final turn he brought the two of them to a halt and released the young woman from his hold. "Now… everyone, partner up and make your way to the floor."
Astrid and Severus stood to the side, shoulder to shoulder as they watched the Slytherins pick pairs and then attempt to dance just as the two professors had moments earlier. Of course, there was the odd student who couldn't refrain from a giggle, and the odd standing on toes, but overall, the Slytherins had taken their instructions well.
"Mr Zambini, if you pull Miss Greengrass's arm any more it might just need reattaching," Snape hissed as he crossed his arm over his chest.
"They're not terrible, with a bit of practice they could be quite good," Astrid observed, crossing her arms over her chest, mirroring Severus' stance.
"Practice is something we don't have time for… since the Yule Ball is tomorrow, Professor Moody," Snape sniped, shaking his head disapprovingly.
"Is it? That's come around fast," Astrid whispered, unsure where the time had gone, her days were slipping away from her. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the familiar stare of Draco Malfoy, he had made a habit of staring her down whenever he saw her, in the dinner hall, in the corridors, in lesson, the boy constantly shot daggers at the young Professor wherever they met.
"Well done on cutting off the senior Malfoy," Snape said suddenly, also spotting the narrowing eyes of Draco Malfoy. "I know it must have been hard for you," Snape said, it was almost as if he cared, yet his voice was devoid of any emotion.
"Not really," Astrid lied, "It's not like I was in love with him,"
"If it eases your pain, you must know that Lucius did not take it easy himself, he was rather enraged by your rejection," Snape told her. It didn't ease her pain, it made it more unbearable.
"Pfft, men like him are enraged whenever they don't get what they want," Astrid scoffed. Snape almost cracked a smile at her words.
"Professor Snape!" Whined a Slytherin girl that Astrid recognised from the back of one of her classes, "Theo is getting too close, my dress is huge he's going to end up standing on it!"
"Miss Bulstrode, I doubt Mr Nott is aware of your particular dress choice, if you have concerns about him standing on it perhaps voice that to him, communicate, or alternatively change your dress, Miss Bulstrode?" The girl huffed as she twisted her face up and retook Theodore Nott's hand, the boy holding her at a greater distance now.
"Do you have your dress sorted Professor?" Snape asked, his voice bored, all he had heard from the girls over the past week was about dresses and shoes.
"No," Astrid admitted, it surprised the potions master, she was always so well put together, he didn't expect her to be so last minute with her outfit plans. "I haven't even thought about it, for some reason I thought it was still ages away, do I have to even go?" she enquired.
"Yes, all staff are required to chaperone the ball, along with the governors and parent volunteers," Snape informed her.
"Just how formal is this ball?"
"Ballgowns and dress robes," Snape informed her with zero enthusiasm.
"Looks like I'll be running out to get a dress tomorrow morning then," Astrid sighed the thought of shopping was exasperating, but once she was actually shopping it was a different story. The young professor clicked her fingers at a sixth-year boy who laughed as he swung his partner around relentlessly.
Astrid decided to use the floo in Dumbledore's office to make a quick visit to a little boutique, 'Robes et Fantaisie' in Paris. Located in a larger, grander version of Diagon Alley, it was a shopping district just for magical beings. The little pink boutique on the corner that looked over the Eiffel Tower is where most the girls she went to school with got their formal wear, Astrid could never afford it but she enjoyed browsing. This time was different, she actually had her wages to spend, a proud milestone moment for her.
"Bonjour," Astrid smiled as she stepped out of the fireplace into the lush boutique. Marble walls, a baby pink fluffy carpet, golden chandeliers, Marie Antoinette inspired seating in all shades of pastel, it was every Beauxbatons girls dream to shop here.
"Bonjour," The lady at the counter greeted the young professor as she approached, swatting away the wrinkled in her dress.
"I need a dress, for a ball, tonight… please help me," Astrid pleaded. The woman nodded curtly and led her over to a room rammed with racks of dresses.
"Try on anything, if it doesn't fit, our seamstress can work wonders, and very quickly too, do not worry Mademoiselle." The woman's thick French accent reminded her of school, of her distanced friends.
"Thank you," Astrid smiled back curtly.
Astrid browsed the racks, running her hands across the luxurious fabric, they had every colour, style, shape, imaginable, and then she it. A particular dress that made her heart jump. Periwinkle blue in colour to match her eyes, it had layers of delicate tulle that gave it a full shape. A beaded belt at the waist accentuated the dress, it tied in a large netted bow at the back. The top of the dress was off the shoulder, embellished neckline full of sequins, crystals and beads. The dress was finished off by two full netted puff sleeves that gathered at the wrist.
Astrid pulled the dress from the rack hooking it over her arm she approached the store clerk.
"This one please," Astrid smiled.
"You only want to try the one?" The woman asked, confused, no one wanted to try just the one dress,
"Yes, it kinda called out to me, ya know?"
The woman guided Astrid to a large changing room where she was helped into the garment, sheepishly removing her clothes and bra she stepped into the dress, with a wave of the woman's wand it was buttoned up at the back, and the belt tied itself into a big bow at the small of her back. Astrid bit her cheek to keep from beaming ear to ear as she stared at herself in the mirror, the neckline sat perfectly against her chest, highlighting her delicate collar bones and her small shoulders. The silhouette of the dress showed off the girl's tiny waist.
"Beautiful, a perfect fit, as if it was made for you," The clerk beamed, "Perhaps a little bit long but we can sort that very quickly, five minutes tops," The woman explained. Astrid nodded to the woman's words.
"I'll take it," Astrid smiled as she swayed around in her new grand purchase, the skirt layers swooshing as she did.
"Brilliant, will you be wearing these heels?" The store clerk asked, pointing to Astrid's simple nude heeled sandals.
"Yes, they're comfy, and won't hardly be seen," Astrid shrugged.
"My kind of girl," The clerk smiled, "We will go take off some of the length, box it up, five minutes and you're good to go, I'll meet you at the front desk when you're ready to pay,"
Astrid sighed happily as she removed the dress, the woman gathering it up in her arms and retreating behind the curtain to go have it seen to. Astrid dressed quickly and found her way back to the main desk, a bounce in her step. Perhaps the magazines were right, retail therapy does help, because Astrid suddenly felt light as a feather, in her heart and in her bank account as she handed over a heft sum.
Astrid waited patiently as they boxed up her dress when the front door the boutique chimed and in stepped a dark figure. Astrid paid them no mind whilst she patiently waited for her dress, she was buzzing with anticipation to put it on again, this was the pick me up she needed. The sound of a man clearing his throat behind her caught her attention.
"Miss Moody," Lucius Malfoy greeted the girl, a slightly surprised look on his face, "Fancy bumping into you here,"
"Lucius," Astrid breathed, instinctively taking a step back. "I'm here to get my dress, for the ball," Astrid explained, she didn't know why she felt the need to, this was France, this was what she classed as her domain, he didn't belong here. "What are you doing here?" She furrowed her brows at him.
"The same reason, to pick up Narcissa's dress for tonight's Yule Ball," His words were like being repeatedly punched in the gut.
"Your wife?" Astrid asked without thinking.
"Yes, Narcissa my wife, she's accompanying me as a parent chaperone, a nice opportunity for the family to reunite," His words stung deep.
"Yes, of course," Astrid nodded, rolling her lips together. The store clerk appeared with perfect timing, dress box in hand.
"Here you are miss, I hope you enjoy your ball," The store clerk smiled handing over the boy with pink ribbon handles.
"Thank you so much," Astrid thanked the clerk,
"Ah Mr Malfoy, I have your wife's dress ready in the back, one second sir," The woman ran off with great urgency, Mr Malfoy didn't like to be kept waiting.
"Have a lovely time tonight, Mr Malfoy," Astrid said politely over her shoulder as she turned on her heels towards the fireplace, her little pouch of floo powder ready.
"You too Miss Moody,"