Chapter 15. Vigilant
Early morning, a pink sky rose above the castle, cascading warm light across the hospital wing. Astrid was curled up in her bed, knees pulled up tight to her chest, the blankets had been pulled back over her head, revealing only some blonde hair poking out above the covers.
"Professor Moody?" Madam Pomfrey whispered, unsure if the girl was awake or asleep. She had regained consciousness not long after everyone had left, but had immediately wanted to go straight back to sleep. She told the matron that she was in too much pain to be awake, and would prefer to sleep it off.
"Astrid?" Madam Pomfrey whispered, crouching low next to the ball shaped figure. Astrid peaked one eye open and pulled down the covers just a smidge, revealing her pale, sallow face.
"Do you know where you are?" Madam Pomfrey asked, Astrid nodded slowly, her eyes heavy.
"Do you remember how you came to be here?"
Astrid remembered, everything. She remembered dancing with Severus, overhearing Lucius and his conversation. She remembered the encounter with Lucius in the corridor, she remembered every word he said to her. She remembered going to the girl's bathroom, and the twisted face of Draco Malfoy, his wand aimed directly at her.
Astrid shook her head no smally, and pulled the covers back over her face, hiding away a tear that slipped down her cheek.
"I need to change your bandages, may I?" Madam Pomfrey asked, pulling back the blankets, Astrid pawed at the tear that rolled down her ashen skin and nodded her head yes hesitantly.
Madam Pomfrey saw to the girl's head, exchanging the bloodied bandages that wrapped around her noggin, for fresh new white ones.
"Do you want to talk about what happened, about your injuries?" Madam Pomfrey asked. There was something she saw in the girls' eyes that made her want to back off and give her some peace, her expressionless face was somewhat haunting, and the look in her eye made something stab at the matron's heart. Astrid shook her head no at the question.
"I just need to give your heart a listen,"
Madam Pomfrey pulled out a handy muggle tool, a stethoscope, and listened to the girl's elevated heartbeat.
"Rest, I'll be back to check on you later, if you need anything just ring this bell," Madam Pomfrey frowned, placing a small brass bell on the bedside cabinet. Astrid didn't respond, instead buried her head back beneath the covers, hugging her body to herself.
"She is not ready for visitors Severus," Madam Pomfrey's voice was firm, and strong enough to wake Astrid from her slumber. What time was it? It was dark outside; the entire day had passed.
"Ready or not, I need to speak with the girl, it is a matter of urgency Madam… there could be an attacker wandering the castle this second," Severus said snootily, pushing passed the matron. Self-assured footsteps led to the foot of Astrids bed, she could sense his eyes staring into her.
"Miss Moody." Severus addressed the curled-up form under the blanket. He got no response. "Miss Moody." He said again, this time with a streak of impatience. Astrid let out a small sigh and pulled down the blanket just enough to reveal her reddened eyes. Severus rounded the bed, coming to her side he clasped his hands in front and gazed down at the girl.
"I must know what happened Miss Moody," Severus was straight to the point. Astrid let out a small sigh and turned over showing her back to him, holding in a groan as her body rocked with pain.
"Astrid, I understand you are in no state to conversate, but I must know what happened," Severus pressed. After a long silence Astrid heard the shuffling of fabric as Severus dropped to one knee, crouching close behind her ear.
"Your attacker," Severus spoke lowly, "Was it Draco?"
A shiver ran down Astrid's back upon hearing that name, his twisted face popping up in her mind.
"Well, was it?" Severus pressed. Astrid squeezed her eyes shut and nodded slowly.
"As I thought," Severus commented, disappointment rung in his voice. "Have you informed anyone else of your attackers' identity?"
Astrid gently shook her head no.
"Good," The potions master stated. "You cannot tell this truth to anyone else; you understand? You must spin a story that you do not remember your attacker," Astrid swallowed hard and buried her face into the lumpy pillow, nodding her head obediently.
"I'm… regretful this happened, hopefully we will have you back in the classroom before long," Severus said as he stood. Astrid thought he almost sounded genuine.
Snape made his dramatic exit, his deliberate steps fading out as he vanished. All she could hear now was the sound of quill against parchment as Madam Pomfrey scratched worried words into a letter. Astrid fell back into a slumber rapidly.
"Where is she?! Where is my daughter!"
The booming voice of her father shook the girl awake, opening her eyes groggily. Looking around she regarded her surroundings; it couldn't have been more than an hour or so after she had drifted off.
"Alastor she is resting!" The unmistakeable yell of McGonagall echoed down the corridor and into the hospital wing.
"Let me through Minerva or I will blast my way in there! Astrid!" Alastor Moody's gruff voice shouted down the corridor.
"This is a hospital wing Alastor, have respect! Your daughter is resting, have patience!" Madam Pomfrey said sternly. Astrid sat up in her hospital cot and pulled her knees up to her anxiously, her eyes were plastered on the entrance to the wing. She could hear a commotion advancing on her, shouts, growls, the odd curse word, and eventually her father came into view. Limping along on his crutch he quickly hobbled over to his daughter, McGonagall and Pomfrey followed close behind with exasperated sighs
"You bloody stupid girl." Alastor growled with a heart full of love. He took in his daughter's appearance, never had he seen her so unkept. Usually proud of her appearance, the girl looked a state. Her hair was matted and knotty, only made worse by the thick bandages that enveloped her head.
The man plonked himself down on the cot, causing the metal frame to squeak. "Are you okay?" He asked, his tone now entirely differently. Astrid did not answer, instead she threw herself forward at her father, embracing the man tightly. She nodded into his old worn trench-coat.
"She hasn't spoken a word since the attack," Pomfrey spoke up. That word 'attack' made Alastor's blood run with rage, seeing his daughter, holding her, had almost made him forget the circumstance of her hospitalisation.
"Leave us," Alastor barked at the two older women who stood by idly, both women hesitated before removing themselves from the room. Alastor wrapped one arm around the girl tightly, and stroked down her matted locks with the other. She cried into her father's chest as if she was five years old again. She felt foolish, weak. Her father had taught her better, prepared her, made her strong, but here she was in a hospital wing after being done over by a teenager, crying into her fathers embrace. She almost begged for him to take her with him, away from Hogwarts. But her pride stopped her. She knew if she went with her father now, he would never let her out his sight until he was in the grave.
"Did you get a look 'em?" Moody growled as he held his daughters embrace, hesitantly she shook her head no against his chest, remembering what Severus had said. Moody pushed the girl away to an arm's length, holding her arms he looked deep in her blue eyes. "You better not be lying to me Astrid Emmeline Moody."
Astrid shook her head no, tears now slipping down her cheeks.
"Are you sure? Are you sure it wasn't that piece of rat intestine Snape that got you?" Alastor's lip curled in disgust as he interrogated his daughter.
"I-I'm s-s-sure," Astrid choked on her words, at least she could say it with truth behind her words. They were the first words she had spoken in days; her voice came out as barely a whisper. Hoarse and gruff, she sounded exactly how she felt inside.
"How did you let someone get the drop on you like that? I taught you better," Alastor chastised as he rubbed his daughters' upper arms comfortingly.
"I.. w-was distracted, I'm sorry," Astrid cried, she left out the nature of her distraction entirely. Alastor sighed deeply.
"Perhaps I was wrong," He spoke as if he was speaking to himself, "I raised you in fear, I thought it would make you vigilant, strong but…," He trailed off with a grumble.
"But what?" Astrid furrowed her brows, her bottom lip quivering.
"It doesn't matter" Alastor muttered, he took his trusty flask out of his coat pocket and gulped from it before popping it away. "Albus told me your heart was playing up, how does it feel?"
"Better," Astrid whispered, drawing her knees up to herself.
"Good, have you thought about what you want to do?" Alastor asked. Astrid had been hoping to avoid this question. She would be a fool to ignore the fact she was terrified, terrified of walking the corridors again knowing Draco also stalked them. Terrified of facing him in her classroom. Terrified that next time he just might kill her. But she didn't want to go with her father either, she had a taste of independence, of freedom, her first since being at school, and she wasn't willing to give it up.
"I want to stay," Astrid's hoarse voice didn't sound confident in her answer, but her lack of hesitation told Alastor it was what she wanted.
"I won't lie and pretend I'm happy hearing that," Alastor mumbled, "But I can hardly stop you… Albus tells me you're well respected here, the students like you, learn from you, said you're a valued asset to the school," Alastor's rough voice had a hint of pride hidden beneath the surface.
"He said that?" The girl croaked.
"Something along those lines," Alastor earned a sad small smile from Astrid with those words.
Astrids father didn't stay much longer, he updated her on his new safe house, told her of a new booby trap he had come up with, asked her about Snape. He was disappointed to hear she hadn't come across anything incriminating, just something about Trelawney and the department of mysteries. He took his leave before the students came down for breakfast, disappearing as quickly as he had appeared.
The next morning Madam Pomfrey entered the hospital wing with a determined gate to her walk.
"Professor Moody?" She called. There was no answer from the girl who was buried under the blankets, attempting to block out the bright light that had woken her so rudely.
"I- I'm awake," A soft groan could be heard from under the blankets.
"Ah, she speaks," Pomfrey said sarcastically with a small smile. She had yet to hear the girl say a word, she only answered questions with a head nod or shake, thus far. She had a feeling she may have spoken to her father; Alastor was not very forthcoming and refused to speak to either Madam Pomfrey or Minerva on his way out.
"I need to check your head," Madam Pomfrey informed the girl. Hesitantly she peaked out of the blankets. Pomfrey unwrapped the bandages with delicate hands and inspected her work.
"It seems to be healing nicely, should barely even be a scar when I'm done with it," Madam Pomfrey said proudly as she unwrapped the bandages, checking in on her work. "You lost a lot of blood; do you remember what happened?"
"No," Astrid whispered a lie, swallowing hard, she heading Severus' words. "I don't remember anything,"
"Astrid, you were hit with a stunning spell. Not usually one to leave lasting damage, but the force of it caused you to hit your head, you lost a significant amount of blood… and your heart, when Severus found you… he said you had no pulse, he thought you quite dead," Madam Pomfrey informed the girl. "If Severus had not thought quickly and done muggle CPR on you, you just might've been,"
"Severus was the one who found me?" Astrid asked, blinking a few times as if it would clear her confusion.
"Yes, in the girls' toilets,"
"If had no pulse… I died?" Astrid squinted.
"For a moment, technically, yes." Madam Pomfrey said as she re-wrapped Astrid's head.
"I guess that explains why it feels like I've been mowed down by a hippogriff," Astrid grumbled as she cradled her broken body.
"Now I need to give that ticker of yours another listen," Madam Pomfrey said, pulling out a stethoscope and pushing it into her ears. She pushed Astrid's medical gown a little lower and pressed the cold metal to the girl's chest.
"It tends to beat a little on the fast side, due to-" Astrid began to inform the matron gruffly, her voice sounded as if she'd had rocks for breakfast.
"Your condition. I know," Madam Pomfrey nodded.
"How?" Astrid asked with a furrowed brow.
"Your father told me back in September. He said it was genetic but the characteristics lean-"
"It's a blood curse," A lump formed in her throat as she told the matron, she hadn't said it aloud like that before. It was easier for her to think of it as a genetic condition, which couldn't be helped, rather than a curse that was cruelly placed on her mother.
"Ah, yes. That is what I suspected, are you aware of its-"
"I'm aware of everything, thank you," Astrid coughed.
"Well, it sounds fine, nothing to worry about," Pomfrey smiled encouragingly. There was an awkward silence as the matron stared down at the girl, she looked as if she needed to say something, but couldn't. "The cuts on your arm healed well with the herbal paste I applied, not even a scar,"
"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," Astrid croaked, she pushed herself to give a soft sad smile. "I'm really tired, and I just hurt everywhere, can I rest some more?"
"Of course, rest all you need, I can't give you anymore potions for the pain for another four hours I'm afraid. I need to keep you under observation for at least the day so don't be expecting to run off anywhere… there is one more thing before I leave you…" Madam Pomfrey trailed off with a sigh.
"I'm so sorry to have to ask you this Astrid, and I know you say you don't remember, but your… body, hinted to a… sexual motive for the attack," Madam Pomfrey spoke lowly. Astrid's eyes furrowed, her lips falling open with slight shock.
"No, no, no no," Astrid choked, "I know what you're referring to, and no that was completely consensual, before the attack," It was a good job Astrid's voice was so hoarse, for her regular voice would have cracked in shame and embarrassment.
"I see, I'm sorry for asking, I just had to check, you understand?" Madam Pomfrey was obviously equally embarrassed.
"No, it's fine, thank you for taking such good care of me, and thank you for letting my father visit, I know he's… a character," Astrid coughed as she cozied down into the covers, the blankets rest just under her eyes, burying the rest of her beneath their fuzzy warmth. Madam Pomfrey smiled and nodded.
"It's fine, I owe Alastor Moody a lot, helping his daughter was the least I could do, rest up," The matron ordered before turning on her heels and leaving the younger woman to doze off back to sleep.
Three days before the end of the term Albus Dumbledore ordered Astrid to be discharged from the Hospital wing under one condition: that she go straight to Grimmauld Place where she would be spending the festive period, finishing her recovery there with the order. Astrid had agreed, she would only have spent Christmas in the castle alone otherwise, her father didn't really believe in Christmas, he said it 'wasn't worth letting your guard down for one day' and 'the best thing he was ever given was strength and preparedness, and it wasn't put under a tree,'.
Sirius greeted Astrid warmly as she hesitantly stepped out of the fireplace at Grimmauld Place, her legs felt like jelly, threatening to buckle under even her slight weight.
"Let me help you with that," Sirius smiled kindly, taking her trunk.
"Thank you," Astrid smiled politely, but there was a sad undertone to the gesture.
"I'm afraid your room isn't much, I apologise in advance," The man smiled as he led her into the house and up the stairs.
"Don't worry, I'm sure it's fine, thank you" Astrid was grateful to her host, he didn't have to let her stay, he barely knew her yet offered her room and board for the next few weeks. "I bet I've stayed in worse," Astrid smirked slightly thinking back to some of the dives she had stayed in with her father.
"I bet you have," Sirius chuckled as he turned a corner down a long slim corridor. Coming to the second door on the left he opened it to reveal a simple guest room. Double bed, chest of drawers, wardrobe. The room looked as if it was once of an opulent design, but had fallen into disrepair, the ornate black and silver wallpaper peeled back from the walls whilst cracks sat in the ceiling above the bed.
"It's perfect, thank you," Astrid hummed, stepping into the space. Sirius smirked at the girls polite, gracious nature as he set down the girl's trunk.
"So unlike your father, just where did you come from?" Sirius blinked looking at the young woman before him, she was less shiny than the first time he had met her, but that was to be expected after her ordeal.
"I wonder that myself sometimes," Astrid admitted. Sirius looked as if he wanted to say something, parting his mouth slightly, but he shut it quickly and turned on his heel out of the door.
"I will be downstairs if you need anything… Harry and the others will be arriving in a few days when the term is over… you might find Remus or Kingsley haunting the place now and then, don't be alarmed, I'm practically an inn at this point," Sirius smiled softly.
"Thank you again," Astrid returned his smile.
"Oh, dinner is usually at around six-thirty, but don't worry about coming down… I can have Kreacher bring it up to you, you probably don't want to spend the evening dining with an old man," Sirius winked. He retreated from the room, his movements slow and gentle, before he pulled the door to a soft close Astrid called after the slightly dishevelled man:
"I'll see you at six-thirty,"
Astrid unpacked the few things Minerva had grabbed from her chambers, and then spent the rest of the afternoon crawled up in bed reading Pride & Prejudice, she had almost finished the novel now. Checking her watch as she came to the end of a chapter, she let out a small gasp at the time: 6:35. Closing the book with a clap she tossed the novel onto the sheets and scurried out into the hallway and down the stairs, retracing her earlier steps. Eventually coming to the dining room with the long table, she found Sirius there at the head of it, an untouched plate of food in front of him. He had both elbows on the table, his fingers intertwined with his chin resting steadily on his knuckles. He looked deep in thought about something. Astrid noticed another plate of food dished up in front of an empty chair to his left.
"Sorry I lost track of time," said the girl as she slid into the wooden chair, breaking Sirius from his thoughts.
"Ah, I thought perhaps you'd reconsidered," Sirius said, Astrid looked at the man, his eyes distant. She noted how lonely and sad he seemed, she wondered what he experienced in Azkaban, she'd heard stories from her father about that place.
"Not at all, I'm just a terrible time keeper," Astrid smiled, folding her napkin into her lap. The food smelt good, it was some kind of pasta with chicken, cheese was sprinkled on top.
"So, Astrid, tell me how are you finding Hogwarts?" Sirius asked as he picked up his fork. Astrid followed suit, picking up her cutlery. "Other than being attacked of course," Sirius added with a slight cringe.
"I'm actually enjoying teacher more than I thought I would… I would like it a whole lot more without Umbridge though, she is a menace," Astrid said between bites of pasta. She hadn't realised how ravenous she was, surviving on water and the odd spoonful of chocolate pudding in the hospital wing had left her with quite the appetite.
"She still thinks Albus is assembling a wizard army to take on the ministry, deluded woman," Sirius rolled his eyes as he took a bite. "How are you feeling? I heard you took quite the hit,"
"I'm… okay. They only stunned me, but I hit my head apparently rather badly, and my heart… well that old thing's not the best on a good day," Astrid half-smiled as she tried to uplift the conversation.
"Good, your father was in quite a state, he loves you very much," Sirius eyed the girl as he took another bite of his pasta. Astrid simply smiled in response, prioritising her dinner.
"And how are things going with your… task? Has Lucius Malfoy fallen madly in love with you yet? Revealed any secrets?" Sirius smirked. Astrid's brows furrowed in confusion. Severus had told the order she was no longer on task, hadn't he?
"Did Severus not tell you?" Astrid asked, her lips puckered with puzzlement.
"Did Severus tell me what?" Sirius asked, equally confused. Astrid licked her lips as she thought quickly on the spot.
"That, erm… yes, Lucius is quite smitten," She coughed, lowering her head.
"Of course," Sirius smirked, shaking his head lightly.
"He hasn't told me anything of importance though…. He does seem quite close with Severus though… and Severus with him," Astrid added.
"Yes, Lucius and Severus go way back." Sirius stated, his tone made his feelings quite obvious for the potion's professor, he hated him, and had done longer than Astrid had even been alive.
"Do you trust Severus?" Astrid asked, she thought back to what she had heard that night of the yule ball. It was honestly hard to tell exactly which side Snape was on. He was meant to be a spy in Voldemort's inner circle, but Astrid couldn't help but feel his 'act' felt too real. She knew her father was fully convinced Snape was a double agent, spying on the order for Voldemort whilst pretending to spy on Voldemort for the order. Astrid could believe it.
Sirius hesitated as he raised a piece of pasta to his lips.
"No," he sighed as he bit the pasta off his fork.
"Dumbledore seems to,"
"That's where Dumbledore and I have our disagreements," Sirius said with a dark sigh.
"I didn't realise there was so much internal turmoil at the order," the young professor commented, of course she didn't think it was all rainbows and sprinkles, but she expected at-least a degree of trust and respect.
"You have no idea, and things have only got more tense since the disappearances started," Sirius sighed.
"Disappearances?" Astrid queried. Sirius suddenly looked regretful of his choice of words.
"I've said too much, I don't wish to worry you, Astrid. Perhaps a change of subject, yes? I hear you've been helping Harry with his little club?" Sirius jumped topic.
"Er, yes, I well not really, I helped out a couple of times, but I kind of fell away from it once they got on their feet a little, Harry is far better at teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts than I am, my thing is history, not spells,"
"For some reason I don't believe that's true." Sirius smiled over to the girl as he took one last bite of pasta, placing his fork down on his plate he continued. "I've heard you've been taught well by your father,"
"Yes, but learning and teaching are completely different things. And I wasn't even very good at the learning part, if it wasn't in a book, I struggled to grasp it, took my father nearly a year to teach me to cast a Patronus charm," Astrid admitted, slightly embarrassed by her lack of natural spell flicking talent.
"What is your patronus?" Sirius enquired as Astrid took her last bite and placed her cutlery down on her plate neatly. She folded her hands in her lap.
"Yours first?" She countered.
"A dog," He shrugged with a grin, ah of course it was Astrid thought.
"Right, padfoot," Astrid nodded.
"Yours?" Sirius pushed.
"It's embarrassing,"
"All the better," Sirius chuckled.
"Elephant," Astrid cringed as she rubbed her palm over her forehead, trying to wipe away the humiliation, she thought it to be the least cool patronus ever.
"That's nothing to be embarrassed about, I can see it… you're loyal, gentle, caring, full of knowledge, that's why it's your patronus," Astrid couldn't help but blush at Sirius' words.
"You flatter me sir, I'll live off that compliment for the year," Astrid laughed, a genuine laugh. It made her feel lighter, her worries and anxieties disappearing for just a second. Sirius stood up from his place and made his way to a sideboard, pulling two glasses from the cupboard and pouring an unidentified drink into them both. He returned with the two glasses, offering one out to the young woman.
"Firewhiskey?" He offered.
"I can hardly say no now, can I?" Astrid smiled, taking the glass from his calloused hand. Sirius sat and took a gulp from his own glass, letting out a soft 'ah' as he felt the liquid burn down his windpipe.
"Tell me, what was it like being raised by your father?" Asked the man before her.
"Stressful." Astrid smirked as she took a swig of her own drink, "But… I wouldn't change it for the world,"
"I imagine it was, the question is… were you constantly vigilant?" Sirius chuckled as he took another drink.
"More like permanently vigilant," Astrid chuckled as she poked fun at her father's favourite phrase, she took another swig of her firewhiskey.
"Ah, he's a good one your old man, always full of surprises," Sirius smiled warmly. "Like when he just brought you in one day, just a small girl you were, we never even knew he was with somebody, never told us he'd had a child, very good at secrets and surprises your pa."
"He sure is one of a kind," Astrid smiled, she tried to stifle back a yawn but suddenly found herself covering her mouth as she let one out. "My apologies, the past few months have taken their toll on me clearly, I've never been more tired, even when I was pulling all-nighters, cramming for my exams," She fondly remembered as she finished her whiskey.
"Don't let me keep you if you want an early night, your rest is important," Sirius smiled as he ran his finger around the rim of his glass.
"Thank you for dinner," Astrid sighed happily, "And thanks for pulling me out of my rut a little, it's been nice just chatting to someone," She admitted.
"My pleasure, I'm always here to listen if you need to chat, I mean it's not like I can go anywhere," Sirius winked again. Astrid pushed herself out of the chair and made her way towards the staircase.
"Goodnight," She called over her shoulder.