Chapter 21. Beautiful Fool
Astrid's eyes opened to a blinding light, a golden glow, at first she thought it was over, her heart had given in and she had passed to the other side. But as her eyes began to adjust to the golden rays that illuminated the room, she realised that she was in fact in the hospital wing. She blinked and furrowed her brows, screwing up her face with a groan.
"We really must stop meeting like this Professor." Madam Pomfrey's face came into view above her, a look of annoyance plastered on it, "One visit was quite enough."
Astrid pushed her head up and leant onto her elbows with a groan.
"It wasn't my intention to be back here so soon." she said as she pushed the covers back from her body and tried to swing her legs out of the hospital cot. Madam Pomfrey had other ideas, a firm hand pushed Astrids shoulder back down into the bed and whipped the duvet back over the girl.
"Just where do you think you're going?" Madam Pomfrey asked.
"To my chambers, I feel fine, I just need to rest," Astrid insisted pushing herself up again, just to have Madam Pomfrey shove her back down.
"Oh no you don't, you're staying here at-least for the night for observation, I won't take any back chat on the subject," Madam Pomfrey ordered the young woman as if she was a student.
"If you would like Madam Pomfrey, I can conjure a charm to keep the professor restrained," The svelte voice of Severus Snape spoke as his black figure slowly stalked onto the ward.
"Not necessary professor," Madam Pomfrey addressed the potions master over her shoulder, "besides I have a bone to pick with you,"
Severus raised his brows in surprise, wondering what he had done to anger the matron, as far as he knew he'd delivered all the potions, ointments, balms and medicines she had listed for the months' supply run.
"Regarding what Madam?" Severus asked, his bored tone only grating on the matron.
"Severus just because you can whip up potions and ointments, doesn't mean you can just hand them out willy-nilly," Madam Pomfrey scolded. Severus feigned ignorance, he knew it was the matron's job to prescribe treatments, he had no authority. Astrid looked from Severus to Poppy as the tension in the air grew.
"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," Snape said nonchalantly.
"Pish!" Madam Pomfrey huffed as she reached into her apron and pulled out a familiar little glass jar. "So, you haven't been providing professor Moody with Bitterroot balm?"
"I may have conjured up something for the professor… it aids her with her malediction," Severus muttered as his eyes flashed to the bed where two blue eyes watched the exchange groggily. Astrid felt incredibly awkward watching the two argue, like parents arguing over a child it made her feel small, like she wasn't even present in the room.
"Astrids malediction has been managed without treatment her entire life, if I thought it appropriate to start a treatment, I would have prescribed it myself professor!" Madam Pomfrey told Snape harshly. "I know you were only trying to help Severus but you should know as the potions master that Bitterroot balm can have severe negative effects on women in her condition!"
"What condition?" Severus and Astrid asked, their words paired up in unison but their delivery couldn't have been further from matching. Severus' tone was snappy and demanding, whereas Astrid words were nerve filled and shaky. Madam Pomfrey looked between the two confused faced before her, her mouth agape.
"My apologies Miss Moody… I thought…" Madam Pomfrey whispered as she sent an apologetic look to the young woman. After a moments hesitation Madam Pomfrey suddenly overcame her soft moment and as if someone had possessed her, she stormed at Snape a firm hand pointing towards the entrance to the hospital wing.
"Out, out, out!" She shouted as she herded him from the room, Snape snarled and willingly left, he knew better than to pick a fight with the matron, she wasn't someone you wanted to be on the bad side of, especially when you were in need of her help.
Madam Pomfrey promptly returned to Astrid's side, the girl was sitting up now, hunched forward she looked terribly muddled. The matron grabbed some pillow off the bed to the right and shoved them behind the young professors back and beckoned her to lean back so that she could sit comfortably.
"There you go, I am so sorry Astrid, I thought you were aware of…" Madam Pomfrey started.
"We've already had a conversation about my blood curse Poppy, I'm well aware of its… implications," Astrid sighed as she pressed her head back into the pillow and closed her eyes as she rubbed at her temples. Her head pounded as if a hippogriff had kicked her in the face.
"I know… Your head will hurt for a bit, you'll feel weak, shaky whilst you withdraw from the bitterroot balm," Madam Pomfrey informed the young woman, she sat on the edge of the bed and took the young lady's free hand in hers comfortingly. "It can be quite addictive stuff, but it's not recommended… during pregnancy…the hormones can cause negative effects,"
"It's a good thing I'm not pregnant then," Astrid said, she was confident in that fact, not even opening her eyes. Madam Pomfrey's silence unnerved her though, the girl peaked through weary eyes to look upon Madam Pomfrey, she looked uncomfortable, nervous.
"I'm not pregnant, right?" Astrid's voice trembled slightly this time, she swallowed hard as Madam Pomfrey squeezed the girl's hand.
"I put you at about eleven- or twelve-weeks Astrid," Madam Pomfrey spoke softly. Astrid squeezed her eyes shut and leant back, the hand that rubbed her temples now slithered down her face covering her eye and nose.
"Shit," Astrid breathed.
"St Mungo's will be able to give you a more accurate time frame, but I counted back and… its likely conception was around the period of the yule ball." Madam Pomfrey looked concerned, Astrid remembered their embarrassing conversation, about the nature of her attack. "I hate to ask you this again, but are you sure-"
"I'm sure Poppy, thank you for your concern, it was a consensual relationship," Astrid choked as she withdrew her hand from the matron's touch, she pulled both her hands under the covers and rested them on her stomach lightly. Tears stung at the edges of her eyes as she felt for evidence of truth as she caressed her abdomen.
"Do you want me to ask Albus to contact the father, so that he may visit you here?" Madam Pomfrey asked with a soft smile, her kind intentions however earnt a sniffle and a slight sob from the young woman, who shook her head no."
"No, thank you, the relationship… it's over, so I just… can I see my dad?" Astrid's eyes pleaded with the Madam, who nodded her head eagerly.
"Yes, of course, I'll ask Albus to get a message to him at once," Madam Pomfrey told the girl as she stood and straightened out her apron. "You must stay here and rest, its unfortunate I can not do anything for the withdrawal you're going through, but rest up here and hopefully I'll return with your father soon,"
Elsewhere in the castle Severus Snape had returned to his dungeons and pulled every medical related potion book, scroll and parchment he could find from his shelves, he flicked through searching for deeper information on Bitterroot balm.
He hunched over his desk by candlelight flicking through pages upon pages until he found the one, he was looking for, he scanned the text quickly, his eyes darting side to side as he skimmed through the words.
Bitterroot balm is a highly effective treatment, but it's use should be prohibited on expecting mothers, the hormones of pregnancy can cause a multitude of negative side effects, which include but are not limited to: weakness, fatigue, abdomen pain, nausea, and in some cases miscarriage.
Severus sighed as he read the words, putting two and two together he construed that Astrids mysterious condition was pregnancy, it explained Madam Pomfrey's demeanor. Severus brought his hand to his chin as he leant back into chair, he thought for a moment. Thought whether he should inform Lucius, once he got confirmation of his theory.
Severus shook his head, deciding against it. Telling Lucius would be a mistake, it would be hard to do, to keep this secret from him. His longest friend had always longed for another child, but Narcissa was unyielding. Severus knew telling him would drive him back to the girl, and the Dark Lord would surely hear the news.
Severus could not predict what the Dark Lord would do, would he allow her to change sides, marry Lucius and bear his children as the new Mrs Malfoy? He'd most likely keep her prisoner in a cell until the child was born and then dispose of her. If the Dark Lord was in a bad mood, he could even have the child ripped from her abdomen and leave her to bleed out on the floor in front of Lucius. None seemed particularly appealing options.
Severus decided to keep the information to himself, for now at-least.
"Silly, foolish girl," Alastor Moody breathed as he sat on the hospital bed and pulled his daughter into a tight embrace. "Clearly my lecture about boys wasn't clear enough," Alastor half joked as he patted down his daughters' blonde waves and rubbed her back comfortingly.
Astrid let out a small chuckle between sniffles. Madam Pomfrey had long gone, leaving the two alone to speak and connect. Astrid broke down when she told her father, he had always been so very strict when it came to boys, still treating her like a teenager. But he didn't react as harshly as she expected, he was actually rather calm and… warm to the idea of having a grandchild.
"So who's arse do I have to crucio for knocking my daughter up and dumping her?" Alastor hissed, she smiled into him, but she knew he was only half joking.
"It doesn't matter, he's long-gone father… and I don't want him to know,"
"You don't want the father in your child's life?" Alastor asked deeply, pushing his daughter away and holding her at arm's length.
"I grew up with one parent just fine, I don't need him," Astrid said confidently, finding some remnants of strength inside her.
"Okay then, I won't push for answers...but it better not be that bloody snape Astrid… I will kill that man," Alastor threatened. Astrids face twisted unfavourably.
"It's not, don't worry father," Astrid smiled softly. Her mind wondered to how her father would react if he found out exactly who fathered his grandchild, she wasn't creative enough to think how exactly how her father would kill him, she just knew it would be slow and painful. She wondered how her father would treat her, would he be forgiving, or would her and her child be cut out of his life for good?
"Are you disappointed in me father?" Astrid asked, her voice trembling.
"Of course not, you're a young woman now Astrid… as much as I hate it, you're grown now, you were always going to find a man, settle down and start a family, you don't need me like you used to anymore," Alastor admitted gruffly albeit sadly.
"I just wish the circumstances and timing were better," Astrid sniffled, as she thought of the struggles her father faced as a single parent in the midst of a wizarding war.
"I do too, but this is the hand we have been dealt, and we will pull together to figure it out, we're Moody's Astrid, we don't wallow or self-pity. I raised you in war, and you turned out just fine, with vigilance we will get through this,"
"So you don't think me a fool?" Astrid smiled weakly, as her eyes sparkled with fresh tears.
"You're definitely a fool Astrid Moody," Alastor barked with a smirk, "but you're my fool, a beautiful fool, just like your mother,"