Chapter 34. Rage
Dumbledore and Severus leaned back in their worn tartan armchairs, each of them sipping on a small goblet of cherry wine. They were seated in Dumbledores office, which had been decorated generously by the house elves, with wreathes and garlands hanging from every wall, as well as candles and baubles hanging from the ceiling. The fire crackled as snow fell upon the forbidden forest out the window, large flakes dancing in the air as they blustered about in the Scottish wind. Christmas music played over a crackly gramophone in the background.
"Merry Christmas Severus," Albus smiled under his glasses, raising his glass.
"And to you, headmaster," Severus' baritone voice spoke as he met Albus' glass with his, the two clinking together musically.
"Since, this is probably my last, we should most definitely finish the bottle." Albus smiled sadly as he sipped at his wine.
"Of course, headmaster, it would be a shame to leave it," Severus sighed.
"I really should have asked Dobby if we could have some sherbet lemons, do you think he'd oblige us at this late hour?" Dumbledore hummed.
"No need, professor," Severus exhaled, leaning down he picked up a small tin of sherbet lemons, a green bow upon the top.
"What a thoughtful gift Severus, one I'm ashamed to say I cannot reciprocate," Dumbledore didn't hesitate to set his cherry wine aside and break into the tin, popping a sherbet lemon in his mouth.
"There's really no need to Albus, it's my pleasure," Severus sipped his wine. The music played light over their silence.
"I really do love this one," Albus mused happily. Severus simply grunted in reply nodding his head. "You seem to have something on your mind Severus" Albus enquired as he sucked upon his sherbet lemon, leaning towards the dark-haired professor.
"Nothing worth your precious time… I'm sure headmaster," Severus took another sip.
"As you wish Severus, I was merely asking as a friend," Dumbledore smiled as he looked into the roaring fire. Severus' ears perked up as he thought he heard something over the music. He froze and turned his head, listening carefully. Dumbledore picked up on it too, turning and tilting his head he listened, before swishing his wand to pause the music. Clear as day in the silence of the winter night was the sound of a whimpering, crying baby.
"Do you hear that?" Snape froze, fear in his veins.
"Downstairs," Albus breathed as he jumped up from his seat, knocking over his goblet of wine.
Severus followed suit, discarding his goblet to the floor wine spilled out across the carpet and the two practically flew down the stairs to Albus' office. Rounding the desk they found a horrific sight: Astrid laid motionless on the wooden floor, laid on her side, her arms and legs scattered. A large patch of scarlet at her hip, the stain growing with every second. Everly was laid nearby, her swaddle had come unravelled, her arms and legs kicked violently as she cried for her mother's attention.
"Astrid!" Severus gasped, dropping to her side he examined the scorched wound on her side. Albus saw to the baby, checking her for injuries and holding her to his purplish-grey robes, hushing her cries.
"Phineas! Call for Madam Pomfrey immediately, I know it's Christmas but it is urgent!" Albus called to one of his paintings, who scrammed immediately through the frames to fetch the matron.
Minutes later Madam Pomfrey arrived in a green flash by floor, dressed in her night clothes she rushed to Astrid's side, practically pushing Severus out of the way.
"Do we know what happened?"
"No, she just appeared via this port key," Dumbledore stated, kicking the old boot lightly with his slippered foot. Pulling up her bloodied, sooty dress to her waist Poppy assessed the wound on Astrid's hip, pulling the strap of her pale pink panties down slightly to get a better look, it was akin to a blast wound, deep and scorched around the edges, it was no wonder she was bleeding so much. Severus looked away, not wishing to destroy the young woman's modesty.
"The infant?" Madam Pomfrey asked, eyeing Dumbledore worriedly.
"Unharmed, thankfully," Dumbledore sighed.
"I'm afraid there's no time to get to the hospital wing," Pomfrey sighed, "Headmaster if you will," Madam Pomfrey nodded at his desk. Dumbledore nodded understanding her request, and with a flick of his wand removed everything from his desktop, levitating them onto various different shelves instead. Pomfrey used her own wand to lift Astrid weightlessly onto the desk. Poppy followed her over and pressed her wand to the wound as lightly as she could.
"Vulnera Sanentur." Madam Pomfrey whispered, she watched as the wound began to knit together, she sighed with relief, but her relief came too early as the wound began to open back up again, undoing the work.
"What?! No, this wound was caused by some dark magic, I will keep trying but this may be beyond my capabilities," Pomfrey sighed as she uttered the words again, watching the wound knit up for a second or two and then come undone.
"Are you saying she could die?!" Severus uttered, his hand trembling slightly.
"Unless we can get this wound under control, then yes, it is a possibility." Poppy said sadly, she cast the spell again, and for a third time Astrid's wound opened back up.
"Can you cast a counter curse Severus?" Dumbledore asked as he watched helplessly from the side, Everly in his hands.
"Not without knowing the exact cause of her injury, using the wrong counter spell could kill her quicker than that wound!" Severus yelled, smacking his hands upon the desk. "Pomfrey what do you suggest?"
"She needs to go to St Mungo's, I can keep her alive possibly if I keep casting the healing spell,"
"Possibly?" Severus sneered. "Besides, St Mungo's is off limits right now, the Dark Lords forces have infiltrated it to its core."
Wrapping his hands across himself, tucking them into his arm pit as he paced back and forth, he thought of every possible curse or magical object that could have caused that kind of wound. Then his mind wondered to possible cures for all of them curse. When he paced passed Albus he looked up at the headmaster, who was pale with worry, and as if a lightbulb had gone off in his head he froze.
"I will be back in a few minutes, keep her alive in the mean time!" Severus shouted as he ran out the door, his long black robe billowing behind him.
"Vulnera Sanentur," Pomfrey cast the spell again, and she would at least fifteen more time before Severus returned, a vial in his hand.
"I hope that's one strong healing potion professor," Pomfrey sighed, she was feeling drained from casting the healing spell over and over again. Dumbledore had offered to take over, but Pomfrey made him keep watch over the child.
"Even better," Severus exhaled as he reached Astrid's side, "Phoenix tears." He pulled the stopper out with his teeth and poured the contents of the vial onto the wound drop by drop, as the tears hit the torn flesh a small amount of smoke rose arose, and eventually the wound began to heal up with a small glow. Madam Pomfrey gasped, raising her hand to her mouth her eyes grew wide.
"Is it working? It's working!"
Astrid awoke in the hospital wing for what felt like the twentieth time, she was sick of laying her eyes on that same old ceiling and being blinded by the sunlight that blazed through the windows.
"Welcome back to the land of the living," Madam Pomfrey tutted as she poured Astrid a glass of water and held it to her lips, she took a little sip, dampening her dry croaky throat.
"Did I die?" Astrid choked.
"Almost, lucky for you, Severus is a quick thinker," Madam Pomfrey sighed.
"Everly? Where is she?" Astrid sat up quickly, her head spinning slightly as she did. Her eyes searched the ward frantically, searching for her daughter. She moved to get out of bed and search for her baby.
"Calm yourself," Madam Pomfrey ordered, pushing the girl back down into the bed, "She's safe, and she was unharmed. Arthur Weasley and Remus Lupin sent word to Dumbledore this morning of what transpired. You're lucky to be alive, the both of you,"
"Where is she?" Astrid asked desperately, she just wanted to hold her in her arms and never let go.
"She's safe, Severus has her, shockingly, it seems he has a knack with infants," Madam Pomfrey's brows furrowed as she pictured the ex-potions master changing nappies.
"No, no I need-"
"Hush up Moody, if you're going to be a regular visitor to my ward, you'll at the very least do as you're told, rest up, after some lunch you can be discharged and fetch your daughter… but only after you've eaten," Madam Pomfrey told Astrid firmly, waggling her finger, from the look in her eyes Astrid knew she was serious.
"Yes Madam," Astrid swallowed.
"Now, let me have a listen to that ticker of yours! With everything you've been through over the last year I'm surprised it still has a tick!"
Astrid knocked upon Severus' chambers. Despite no longer being the potions master he had wished to stay put in the chambers, and not take the ones usually provided for the Defence Against the Dark Arts professors. No longer being able to use the ones attached to his old haunt in the potion's lab, he moved a little bit further along the corridor, closer to the Slytherin Common Room. Astrid sighed as she waited for Severus to answer her knocks. Growing further impatient she knocked harder, practically bashing on the door. Severus eventually opened the door with weary tired eyes.
"Up and about the castle already?" He asked, looking her over.
"I'm here for my daughter," Astrid said firmly, pushing passed the professor to enter his personal chambers. They were exactly how she imagined them to be, what a cliché. Stone walls, floor and ceiling, with a small stained-glass window. A bed was in the centre of the room, black sheets set upon them. Bookcases lined the walls, filled entirely with old scripts, books and manuals. A desk, chair, wardrobe, coffee table and brown leather sofa filled the rest of the space. Astrid located her daughter quickly, she was laid on the bed, fast asleep, a pillow either side of her to keep her from rolling off onto the floor.
"How long has she been asleep?" Astrid asked, sitting beside her little sleeping form.
"Thirty minutes or so," Severus informed her, crossing his arms over his chest. Astrid sighed; it would be a shame to wake her now. "Perhaps a cup of tea?" Asked Severus as he sat on his sofa, crossing his legs.
Astrid agreed with a disgruntled sigh, nodding her head as she stroked her daughter's soft blonde hair before joining Severus on the other end of the sofa. He transfigured a tea set and Astrid poured herself a cup, the liquid was actually a relief, she could still feel the smoke coating the back of her throat.
"I hear I have you to thank… for saving me," Astrid exhaled as she took a sip of tea.
"It was largely a team effort, Madam Pomfrey kept you alive whilst I sought out a cure to your wound," Severus said monotonously, waving off his great thinking as something casual.
"Madam Pomfrey told me Everly was unhurt,"
"Yes, miraculously, just distressed at the situation I imagine, she took a long time to settle," Severus raised his tea cup to his lips and took a sip before questioning the young woman. "Who caused your injury?" Severus asked with a suspicious side eye.
"Bellatrix Lestrange," Astrid spoke her name as if it was a poison, Severus almost seemed to be relieved. "She was trying to kill me,"
"How unimaginable," Severus sighed sarcastically. "She did not succeed at least,"
"No, she didn't,"
"Weasley and Lupin sent word this morning about the attack… they mentioned that Lucius was present," Severus fished.
"Yes, he was," Astrid eyed Severus suspiciously. "What of it?"
Severus said no more, he averted his gaze so Astrid came to her own conclusion.
"You think he'd try to hurt me?" Astrid's face twisted, "He loves me Severus, he would never, you're more likely to be the one to hit me with a killing spell when my backs turned," Her words were like daggers to him, did she really think him capable of that?
"You really think that much of me?" Severus spat, "When I lost saw Lucius, he was filled with rage," Severus explained vaguely.
"Rage for you I'll bet, not me! He knows you kissed me Severus, and he knows I slapped you for it," Astrid huffed, drinking her tea.
"How did he come about that information?" Severus asked, with a slight growl, when the Dark Lord entered his mind that particular moment hadn't even happened yet…
"I showed him," Astrid said simply, shrugging her shoulders, "But only after he got very worked up over you, he thinks you're trying to replace him in my life," Astrid cocked a brow at Severus' silence. "Are you?"
"No," Severus said, in truth he didn't know whether that was a lie or not, he never had any intention of replacing Lucius, he didn't want to step into his role, but if it became available, if Astrid became available, he'd be a fool not to. "I have no intentions of replacing him, how could I? He is my oldest friend, and has been since before you were even conceived, you really do think a lot of yourself, don't you?"
"So… you only wouldn't because he's your friend?" Astrid squinted, narrowing her eyes on Severus as she analysed his words. He scoffed at her flicking his hair out of his face dramatically.
"You really are quite the vain little thing Moody, you're over thinking my words, twisting them."
"Then feel free to explain why you kissed me, without my consent by the way," Astrid cocked a brow, she had him. He was practically squirming under her gaze, unsure what to do or say. Astrid set her empty tea cup down and leaned back crossing her arms, she twisted her body to face the professor and crossed her legs.
"That was a regrettable slip of madness, I've come back to my senses since that day Astrid," Severus mumbled. The two sat in silence for a little longer, an uncomfortable silence that practically had them both wriggling.
"I see I've made things awkward…" Astrid sighed, "Let's change the subject, how about… why didn't you warn Molly and Arthur about the attack? You clearly knew about it," She tapped her foot as Severus articulated a response.
"I couldn't give away the fact there was an attack planned, the Dark Lord already grows suspicious that he has a mole, I could not give him fuel to feed his fire. Instead, I warned the Weasleys to check their protection enchantments… obviously, that wasn't enough,"
"Why warn me then? Why tell me not to go? If you had said 'Astrid don't go, the death eaters are going to blow up the house and try to kill you' I probably would have listened Severus," Astrid huffed.
"I couldn't give away the Dark Lords plan, but I couldn't knowingly let you go, I warned you to the best of my ability, in fact I was quite adamant about it,"
"But why just me? You didn't warn Harry? Besides I didn't believe you, you're always so vague Severus, and I never know which one of you I'm talking to, who is this now? Order Severus, or Death Eater Severus?" Astrid quipped.
"Do you think I enjoy playing both these roles? Do you not think I'm tired of it after all these years?" Severus growled, slamming down his teacup, "I have given everything, and yet I take nothing, but it is still not enough for you and the order, I put myself in peril every day, and for what? To be doubted, taken for granted?"
"Severus I-" Astrid started sadly felt a ping of guilt, it was almost as if she had broken him, revealed his rawness, it was almost as if she'd finally peaked behind his mask. She reached delicately for his arm but he pulled it away like a wounded animal.
"I don't need your pity," He spat, the man stood now and paced back and forth frustratedly. "I just need acknowledgement, for the sacrifices I've had to make, and not just for this war,"
"You're right Severus, and I apologise, I never realised how hard things are on you, I never realised what a toll living two lives took," Astrid sighed, she too stood now, her hands trembling slightly, she wasn't naturally a confrontational person and the arguing took its toll on her nerves.
"You out of all people should know Astrid… but then again you failed at your own attempt at playing both sides, didn't you? You weren't willing to do the hard jobs, the ones that shatter you inside, and yet your friend died anyway," he seethed cruelly. He regretted his words instantly, as soon as they left his lips he regretted them, knowing the hurt they would cause her. Astrid swallowed hard and looked away, her eyes began to shine with fresh tears building up on her water line.
"You're right," She choked, turning back to Severus, "She did…" She sniffled sadly. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to her slumbering baby and carefully lifted her up off the mattress, bring Everly to her chest as delicately as she could with trembling hands. Severus just watched, he was wracked with guilt, he had nothing to say, he knew sorry wouldn't suffice. Astrid made her way over to the door silently and opened it to leave, Everly starting to stir in her arms.
"Maybe when the Dark Lord takes someone you care about, you'll know how much it hurts," She whispered over her shoulder as she left.
"What makes you think he already hasn't?!" Severus yelled, with a flick of his wand the door slammed behind Astrid, making her flinch, and causing Everly to burst into screams and wails.
"It's okay," Astrid sobbed as she headed back to her tower, "Mummy's got you, everything's okay." She told Everly with a forced smile, whilst tears fell down her freckled cheeks. But everything was certainly not okay.