This is later than I wanted too, and that's frustrating. But, at least I've got this next portion prepared at last!
My small changes and adjustments are not quite ready just yet, since I've had some setbacks and the holidays kind of overwhelmed me. I'm also trying to help a few people through some hard times with what little I can offer, so, a little time consuming. But, I digress!
This chapter was started while I cut off and posted the first part, and now I've stopped before the next section. The next chapter will hopefully conclude this portion, and then I'll hopefully finish splitting the other chapters apart. (They're kind of split now, but the notes are messy, so I need to delete them.)
Anyway, anyway, anyway! Time to see Bowser and Mario cry together some more. Lots of talking coming up. Yay! Enjoy.
...
[Bowser]
I hate him.
I hate how he makes me feel, even after all these years, and even after he hasn't been around for so damn long.
Mostly, though, I hate that I'm wasting time over him. By now, I should be better than this.
No one stopped me as I stormed through the halls. Some of them might have had it on their minds, but if they did, one look at me told them not to bother. Not when I'm like this.
My damn arms kept shaking, from bottling so much in for so long. I never did get enough of it out over that old asshole, after all. If I could just cut loose on him…but he wasn't here, and there was nothing to take it out on.
…Is he still following me?
Making sure, I turned a corner and stole a glance to the right. Of course he was still with me. Why would I even need to check? Why can't I keep it in my head that Mario's followed me this far and will keep doing so? Just because he made me question others for years doesn't mean that Mario would do or be the same. They're antitheses.
Stop. Thinking. About. Him.
…Why can't I stop…?
I wanted to yell. Roar. Scream out to the world. It wasn't going to help, but it would get whatever this was out of me.
Wouldn't it?
Didn't matter in the moment, and I stormed upstairs, blazing past a perplexed Rex and Spike before they could so much as salute me, never mind speaking. Punching the door open, I carried on through the halls for the next staircase, and climbed ahead until I was on the roof.
Dark skies. Stars faint, the more typical sight for me. Nights like this made me question for years if the starlight struggled to reach here because we weren't worth mercy or hope. If I wasn't. Starlight strayed from those beyond salvation. Lately, I'd been around it, but this…
I roared out to the blackened sky. Didn't care how it sounded, just wanted it out. And for a good minute, I just let out a massive bellow for everyone to hear.
My shoulders dropped after the air escaped the wrong way. I coughed and sputtered a bit, and then panted, gasping a bit for breath. What the hell was I doing…?
Pinching my sweaty brow, I squeezed my eyes shut and held myself tight for a moment. Clearing my throat and inhaling, I shook my head and stomped to the end of the roof, gripping the wall below me, letting my claws dig into the stone. It cracked in my grip, and I wanted to break it.
"Smashing it will only remind you of why you did it."
Stars, in a single sentence…!
Releasing my grip, I twisted around to face Mario. Steady posture, neutral stance, worried expression with the frown and eyebrows over the eyes. Why do I keep doing this to him? I'm the strong one; I'm supposed to help him!
…That's a lie though…he's stronger…
Dragging my claw through my hair, I dropped my shoulders and forced up a half-smile for him.
"So…guess it's my turn for sharing hour, huh?"
"It would probably help."
"Really would rather help you more…you're the one that needs it."
"What does it matter between who needs it more, or who's dealing with the worst? We don't need to keep score over who helped his boyfriend better." Firm and gentle at the same time, how did he do that? "You already helped me some. Let me help you too."
His soft smile came slow but easy. I think he's the only one alive, maybe the only one ever, that can get through my walls.
Of course he can. With the way he jumps, how could he not?
A chuckle escaped me for that, and he didn't really expect it. No more putting it off though. He wanted to help, so why should I deny him?
"Truth is, I don't really know where to begin with any of this." I leaned back, with my shell pressed against the wall. "It's almost impossible, since I don't really understand it myself and it's not like anyone could explain why my father hated me." Not even Kamek could make sense of him. "He never liked me from the start, and I don't know what I did to make him that way. Exist. I guess that was enough."
"That's…horrible." Good gracious, Mario was crushed to hear that. I don't think I've ever heard so much joy and energy sucked out of him as I have lately.
"Guess you got along well with your parents, then."
"Well enough."
"Even despite the 'raised by dinosaurs from birth' bit?" I raised an eyebrow as he chuckled at my smirk.
"Yoshis tend to make for good impressions on most people, so I don't think they considered bad habits that I could've gotten there," joked Mario.
"Nothing about riding reptiles stuck them funny?" His face soured at my toothy grin. "What? That's a fair and innocent question."
"Don't make me be mean…"
"Fine, fine." I snorted and glanced away into the night. "Still, must have been nice…"
"Not to be naïve, but there wasn't ever a moment where…?" He didn't have to finish his thoughts. Mario wanted to ask if there was a moment where my old fart actually showed love and compassion to me.
"Can't remember any good times with him." I folded my arms. "If there were any, they've been drowned out by the bad ones for so many years that I wouldn't be able to remember them." My head lowered and I stared at the ground. "As soon as it was possible, he wanted me trained to follow in his footsteps, but it wasn't out of love and devotion; he just wanted someone to keep up his work, his achievements."
"…Conquest."
"Yes." Slowly, I closed my eyes. "From when I was a child until I was an adult, he tried drilling all kinds of conquering exercises in me, and wanted me to be this perfect machine that would fulfill his efforts to maintain control of the Mushroom Kingdom. He wanted my efforts to be flawless, beyond his, and become a greater monster than possible." Bitter laughter escaped me. "I don't think I managed to give him any hope whatsoever."
"What do you mean?"
"My father considered me an absolute failure." I opened my eyes, and looked to Mario's. There was a lot of horror behind those widened eyes. "All of the years he had me tested, trying to get me stronger, make me hold this kingdom on my own, and I never succeeded. He was gone before I even made my first efforts to overthrow Peach's reign, so repulsed by how often I failed."
"But…but you couldn't have been that old when he…" Mario gripped his head while processing how long this lasted.
"Didn't matter, since he didn't care." I shrugged. "It was always something. My fireballs were never as fast or forceful as his. Commanding my army was flimsy and unorganized. Countless times, he told me that I was too sympathetic to my allies and enemies alike." Now I clutched at my head, clamping down on my scalp. "Every time he corrected something, he found something else flawed or broken with me."
"That's disgusting."
"You'd think so, but when I was younger, my warped mind kept trying to tell myself that he was making me tougher, trying to clear out my weaknesses." Lifting my head, I stared up at the dark and smoky sky, as if I could find an answer out there, beyond the smog and under the stars. "For too long, I excused what he did to me, how he abused me, and told myself that I'd be good enough to prove my worth to him. Prove the Emperor wrong, that I would be a worthy king to follow his footsteps."
"…Excused what?" Mario struggled to even get a full response out. His fists tightened and shook.
"Consistent drills to make me work and improve. Punishments that he made me endure for all of my failures. Sending me off with a low ranking subordinate and leaving him responsible for raising me, only bothering to check on my progress monthly, and for less than a week." I rubbed my horn as I recalled it all. "Never more than five days around me, if that, and it dwindled down to barely two by the end." Studying the stone tiles on the ground, I checked how evenly laid they were. "Sometimes when I failed to meet his expectations, he didn't punish me, but those that I cared about, namely that subordinate raising me. Probably thought that by beating us enough times, he'd finally get something new out of me." I bit my lip. "After a few times, he wasn't wrong."
"Manipulative monster," hissed Mario.
"We're not even going over the half of it all," I admitted. "You don't need to hear what he did to us, all of his rigid drills." Not that it was all…well…
"So Kamek suffered his wrath as well…"
"…Yeah." I hated Kojin more for that than anything else. "Hurting me was fine, I could live with my father's hatred dumped on me. But…Kamek really had been raising me, between training me to pass my father's exercises, so…seeing him get hurt, under the pretense that I was 'too soft' for the Koopa Kingdom, that was never fun."
"Stars above…!"
"Oh, speaking of, he's the one that drilled it into my head that I was someone that should be abandoned by Stars, that my dreams and wishes shouldn't matter because I couldn't do what was necessary for my people." I snorted before Mario's mouth fell open. "So, that was something ugly too."
"Bowser, why was he like this?!" Mario's hands were at his head, digging past hair beneath his hat. "I know, you don't know, but what could possibly make him so evil? Why would he torture you?"
"Having a hard time comprehending, huh? It's like I told you about me: he wanted total control over the Mushroom Kingdom, the world, and probably the universe if he could." I sighed and turned around, gazing out to the world. "Take it all, and no one can stop you when you shape everything the way that you want it."
"There are…better ways…"
"He never searched for them." My eyes lowered, as I searched across the distance, pretending I could see Peach's Castle even from here. "Not that I learned to do much better, considering where we are now." I shrugged and returned my attention to Mario. "Then again, with everything that he put me through, trying to have me control the Koopa Kingdom with an iron fist, and the rest of the world after, well, how could he see something less than total control as an answer?"
"Peace was never an option?"
"Ha! No, not even close." There was a loose pebble from the parapet, and my tail smacked it from the roof. "He hated the people from the Mushroom Kingdom, especially because they always seemed like preachy sweethearts to mask their agendas. It's why he wanted me to work as hard as I did to overthrow their family in the grandest manners. And in every aspect, he wanted me to be flawless, to always exceed his unrealistic expectations." Smoke seethed from my nostrils as I looked back out, past my shoulder. "Princess Perfect probably never had to deal with any kind of this garbage."
"You're wrong."
"Huh?" I whirled back around to Mario. There was a flicker of regret as his eyes wavered, telling me that was a response he didn't want me to hear. "What?"
"Look, it's…not my story to tell."
"Are you serious? Even after she did that—?"
"She didn't tell the kingdom about us," pointed out Mario. "That was a specific choice not to."
"Political pleasing," I spat. "She doesn't want the kingdom to be amok from my tainting of you."
"…Maybe that is it…" Damn it, why did I push him like that? He grasped his arm, holding it in place. "Even still, I can't share everything." Mario lifted his eyes and gazed into mine. They're a bit glassy with a subdued sorrow. "But she had a lot of pressure from her parents too."
"Super. Royal messes, we are," I scoffed, stifling laughter. "You should have gotten out years ago."
"I'm glad that I never did," confessed Mario. He smiled a little. "I like to think I've helped, in some ways."
"You gave me entirely new reasons to want control," I offered. "Probably not great for you to hear, but what I wrote about, with those letters? All true. You took over as my main motivation to want it all." Couldn't hold back my laugh anymore. "I went from making one big effort to appeal for my father, who had already left, and wanting to help the Koopas be in a better world, to…" My face burned as I dragged my hands through my hair. "To just wanting to see you more, and to take it all so I could be free to make you mine…"
"Um."
"Yeah, I know, not the most romantic in hindsight," I flatly admitted. "It sounded great in my mind, though. Take over the Mushroom Kingdom, boot the princess, get the handsome hero, and make sure anyone that questions it will never get to again." His eyebrow lifted to my shrug. "You're nice, you're hot, and it was worth it."
"Somehow, I don't feel like I should feel flattered, hearing that."
"Do you?"
"…Uh…"
"Wait, really?" I grinned and perked up to him, as he kicked his feet. "I was expecting you to be annoyed about hearing that more."
"Well…having someone tell you that they wanted to take over land so that they can be yours freely is…it's, uh…" Mario's face reddened as he adjusted his matching cap. "I mean it's still not a good thing to do."
"Ooh, but you do like the idea, that someone would take it all, just for you…" Who wouldn't? But…I also knew he was being sweeter since I wasn't feeling great…
"Even still, there are better ways to express love," insisted Mario.
"True, and I've learned. Am learning." He beamed brightly at that. "Maybe one day, I'll be better than my father."
"One day?" Mario shook his head. "You already are."
"Not really." I sighed. "We're too similar, after all."
"Bowser, you're nothing like him."
"You just don't get it."
He blinked as he looked up at me, this innocent ignorance still caught in his eyes. Time to do as I do and put that out. I twisted away from him and glared at the nearest gargoyle shaped with my face. If only my biggest problem was vanity.
"Sometimes, it's easier to blame him for everything that I've become. After all, a lot of what I am, that came from his influence, after all." My eyes narrowed. "But that's not the truth, not entirely."
"What do you mean?"
Mario started toward me, but I stepped away as I heard him near. Not right now. I don't deserve his pity…or his mercy…
"His efforts may have impacted me, shaped me, but I didn't choose to deviate from that." Lifting my hands, I studied the spiked wristbands. "I rule by fear, and I keep my subjects in line by reminding them of my power and dominance over them. Lust for power and control was pushed onto me, but the continued pursuit of holding the Mushroom Kingdom to myself, that's all on me." Lifting my head a bit, I stared out at the wasted and dark domain around my castle. "Destroying places that defy, oppose, or impede my rule, that gives me joy. Exerting my reign, showing off my prowess in any regard, that excites me."
"But—"
"There isn't a single counterpoint you could make to deny any of who I really am, Mario." I twisted back around to him, searching to see some kind of horrified look on his face, like he didn't already know this. It's a little surprising to see his face not contorted, but maybe it hasn't sunk in yet. "Watching the spirits crushed from the Toads? I enjoy that, and I like seeing them fall apart. Putting Peach through hell, time and again? That's delightful for me, and I love her misery. Making others suffer is just part of who I am. Even with you, I…" Lowering my head, I balled my fists as my shoulders lifted. "I'm still this way. And I won't stop, either, because I like having it all. Taking over, having everything the way that I want it, that's my dream. Getting there by any means necessary is just where I'm comfortable with going." I sighed. "So, that's the real truth of it all. It's not just what I was raised like; it's what I actively choose to do."
Looking to his beautiful face, I placed my hand on my chest.
"I like being evil, Mario."
After all of that, he had to understand and get it now. I watched smoke drift around the edge of the roof, and glanced at the sky around him. Why is he so patient? Doesn't he get what I'm telling him?
"It's who I am, and I'll never change from that. No matter how much you want me to, or how much I want to." My head lowered as I beat myself with the facts. "People can't change that way…"
"What about me then?" He finally spoke up, and I glanced up to him. "I'm working with you. Would you call me evil instead of good now?" Seriously?
"Of course not. You're super good."
"Even if the rest of the kingdom thinks otherwise?"
"They don't get it," I specified. "You're totally good, even when they don't realize it."
"So, would you agree that morality is based more on perspective, and can't be so easily defined?"
"Wait, what?" He opened his mouth, but I shook my head. "No, no, Mario, stop. You can't change who I am, deep down, and you can't deny who I am either."
"I'm not."
"Then what are you getting at?"
"Everything you just prattled out, that's not even based on your perspective," pointed out Mario. "That's based on the public of the Mushroom Kingdom, and seems like something that you're drowning yourself over."
"…Explain."
"Each experience that we go through in life has a side of a story that we're placed in, sometimes favorably, sometimes not, and sometimes we don't even matter in those." He approached and I wanted to move, but… "Did you lie to me, when you told me about the injustices that your people have faced at the hands of those from the Mushroom Kingdom, buried in the pages of history?"
"No, that's all true," I insisted.
"How about standing up for your people? Is that false bravado?"
"Absolutely not!"
"So, why would you stand there and tell me that you rule your people out of fear, and assume they only follow you like that?"
"…Wait a damn minute—"
"Ah, no, I did that already, for several minutes, and I listened to you beat yourself up without interrupting much." Mario folded his arms and stared directly at me. "It's your turn to listen to me, and you don't have to believe in what I tell you, but I want to get my points across, and explain my perspective on this."
"…Fine…"
"Do you know when I think your people responded most favorably to you?" He smiled to me. "It wasn't when you showed strength or brash bravery, nor was it when you wanted to convey your assertive power over them. At large, they were happiest when you openly addressed them about rescuing the Koopalings, your soldiers that you consider your children."
"They're different," I muttered.
"Even so, that doesn't change the delight your troops took in your resolve and efforts to rescue them," countered Mario. "Not counting all of the soldiers that you listed earlier liking me, especially not that bunch of loyalists that Kamek gathered, I noticed that some soldiers were actually favorable when they saw you with me. Unless we were both hallucinating the silliness in the kitchen."
A snort escaped me, while I tried to cover up my grin from the memory.
"That's not even touching on the fact that you literally argued with minions to stop battling with one another, regardless of what their opinions were of you, when you were even out of favor with some."
"Ok, you made a good point, or several—"
"Oh, I'm just getting started."
My eyebrows shot up. How could he go on with everything else?
"Being proud of your power, of yourself, that's not really evil, even if you like to flaunt yourself more than average." My cheeks burned as he chuckled, and picked up my hands into his. "Getting excited when you prove that is natural, because you get to show yourself and your abilities off." He lowered his eyes as he looked up to me. "Claiming that you like destroying what's in your way, well, nobody likes obstinate opposition. Though, you still seem to be infatuated with me in spite of that."
"Hey, hey, that's different too!"
"Why, just because you love me?"
"Yes!"
"Does it change the fact that I've opposed you repeatedly in the past?"
"…No…"
"Did admitting that diminish your feelings for me?"
"No."
"Hm, seems like you can tolerate obstacles, and even might enjoy them existing." Damn it, he can't just—was his smile getting bigger? "But let's pick at those you don't like opposing you, because you want them to suffer, right? Peach, the Toads, and everyone that goes against your reign." He cupped our hands together, still gazing to me. "That completely doesn't have anything to do with your past histories and your families opposing one another or anything, right? Or how the Toads have had an overall nicer life while Koopas have struggled? Because being slighted for generations may have a negative impact on how you view them."
"Yeah, maybe," I relented.
"But let's keep going," carried on Mario. "Maybe you really hate the Toads with every fiber in your being." He lifted an eyebrow to me. "Did I hear you right back when we went to Peach's Castle, about wanting the Toads to work for you? Didn't you tell your troops not to kill them?"
"You know that I did."
"Would you get excited about causing them great pain and tragedy, killing them, or anything else along those lines?"
"What? No!" I took my hands from his. "Mario, you know me better than that."
"Sure I do, but you don't seem to." …Wait… "From what you just described, you made it sound like you actively look for the most lethal solutions, which I can't really see being your preferred goals for the majority of the time. Even when you want to take over the Mushroom Kingdom, the world, or the universe, your goal isn't ever genocide, but control." He tilted his head. "Am I right, or do you have a hidden dark side on that?"
"No, I don't…I don't ever aim to kill," I admitted.
"Didn't your father?"
"…Yes…"
"Huh, that's a pretty drastic difference," noted Mario. "Actually, come to think of it, how often did your father risk his life or reputation to rescue and aid troops?"
"I…I can't think of any moments…"
"Weird, because I brought up some where you did." He placed his hands on his hips. "How about dating enemies? Did your father have any secret trysts like what you've got going with me?"
"Ha, as if." I paused. "…Not that I'd know, but…"
"Huh, really? You didn't know? He didn't make a public relationship with his archnemesis and turn him into his pretty public boyfriend within his own kingdom territories?" Mario rubbed his chin, as I lowered my eyes. "Hmm. How odd, I thought you two were really alike for a minute there. After all, your father made his enemy boyfriend into his personal motivation for following through with his objectives in conquest right?" That stupid, infectious grin on his face broadened. "Guess we should tell your son that you don't love and spoil rotten about how different you might be. Or maybe we'll tell your adoptive wizard dad about how little you cared about him too."
"Ok, you made your point—"
"Really? Did I? Are you sure?"
"That doesn't make me any less evil, you know," I pointed out.
"Maybe not," relented Mario. "Maybe you are the bad guy." His smile faded as he lowered his head. "Or maybe I've been one the entire time. I'm not innocent, and I've fought, killed your soldiers before…"
"Right, because you did that with every intention of doing so, and it was never in self-defense in do-or-die situations," I rallied back at him. Mario gazed up and my shoulders fell. "I…I didn't mean to put you in anything like that, but I can't control everything and everyone, so…" He rubbed behind his neck. "If I think it all through, my hands aren't clean either, even if I try to keep them that way…"
"So maybe we're both bad, or neither of us are really good." Mario shrugged. "In fact, if we did so as a means of survival, does that make us evil?"
"It makes us survivors, but I…I don't know," I admitted.
"Neither of us enjoyed it."
"No."
"Though, maybe you're still a bad guy because you want to take power and control." I nodded, but he didn't really look to agree. "Although, your main motivations for that desire, can you tell me them again? Is it all for yourself?"
"Some of it is—"
"Some."
"…Well…"
"None of it happens to be for Junior's future, or for me, or your people, right?" He waited for a moment, but I had no answer or retort for that. "You know, you may use some harsh methods, but if your goals are to help others, that can't be entirely evil."
"But I still am—"
"Yes, that's possible, based on perspective." Mario reached out and held my arm. "I'm not looking to change who you are, Bowser. If you see yourself in a particular way, and you like that, then that's who you are." He smiled. "But, I want you to understand that there are many ways to look at the world, and at people, yourself included. And even though you're bad guy, you might have a little more depth to yourself than that." A finger came up and lightly touched my nose. "Also, you are very much not your father, no matter how hard he tried to drill that into your head, so you can at least take a little solace in that."
His fingers slipped from my arm as he started to pull away, but I snatched at his hand. Mario looked up to me as tears lined my eyes, and I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Instead, I just reached down and pulled him tightly into me. Stars know that I don't deserve him, but even when I wanted to give up on myself, he just sat there calmly and put every thought I've had against myself into a new light.
I don't ever want to let him go.
And for a little while, I didn't. But, my arms started to slip down his back, and he pulled back to raise an eyebrow, I think. When I didn't meet his gaze, though—
"What's wrong?"
Here I thought I was doing great before with helping him, and now it's flipped around.
"…Am I really a good leader?"
"Why wouldn't you think you are?"
"Because even though you told me all of that, I still haven't gotten all of my troops supporting me again," I reminded him. "And, even if I'm not like my father, I still don't know if I'm the best leader for the Koopa Kingdom…"
"If it weren't for me—"
"Oh, please, don't—"
"No, it's true," persisted Mario, beating my protests. "I know that I'm still not entirely welcomed here, maybe by the majority, but not by everyone." He lowered his eyes and looked away. "So, questioning your relations with your subjects, well, that one would be on me."
"It's not, and that's my final thought on the matter," I argued. "You're not at fault with that, and even if you're going to blame yourself, or others will, I won't." He looked back to me while my hands reached for him. "Maybe I'll just live with potential uprisings for the rest of my reign, but that's because I tried hiding my feelings for you earlier on. So, I'll continue to be honest with them, and keep you at my side." I snorted. "Anyone that can't stand it can whine however they want. Not like I have great publicity anyway."
"Right…I wanted to fix that in the future, but…" Damn it, Mario. Don't break my heart looking down like that.
"That's not on you either," I shouldered. "All we have to do is create another grand charade about you being under my control, and then, I don't know, maybe…turn the tables?" My fingers snapped. "You know what, that's a great idea! We can fix how everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom views you by making you become the one to make me fall under your control instead!"
"Because nothing sends a comforting message like the former hero of the Mushroom Kingdom taking mental or emotional control over his enemy to bend him to his will, leaving the question to hang on everyone's minds for the rest of our days," deadpanned Mario.
"…Look, it sounded good when it buzzed into my head, ok?"
"Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the effort," admitted Mario with a smile. It fell quickly though. "But I know that continuing our little…charades, as you called them, they won't work." He tugged at his cap. "Even if we could sway the masses, my friends know better, and I don't think they'd go along with that."
"Your friends still suck."
"Really not helpful."
"Fine, fine…"
"If I could have just came up with a way to help everyone before this got out," he murmured. "But now, I…I don't know what I could do to win everyone's favor back. Besting you isn't the right way to go."
"It's pretty much the only way to win the most people back to your side," I assessed. "Take me down in some grand, spectacular manner, and then—"
"Then what? We take steps backwards with our relationship and bury it down deeper again?" Mario pushed his cap up and searched my eyes for answers. "Do you realize that your people could slip up enough times, and then people would be wondering how much we've lied to them for so long? Even if they didn't, someone would eventually discover one or both of us pulling our punches, and then we would end up back here anyway."
"But how else can you get everyone to like you again?"
"…I don't know…"
"Then why not just use me for that?" My left hand squeezed his shoulder as my right touched my chest. "I can take a beating, especially if it helps you."
"That's not what I want to do, and even if I did, I don't think it solves everything anymore." Mario clasped his hand over mine. "Lying clearly doesn't work."
"Well…when you do it right—"
"Bowser."
"It's possible!"
"Maybe, but I don't want to explore that." Patting my hand, Mario exhaled slowly. "And maybe it's better to stay out of everyone's good graces."
"Come on, don't be like that."
"Why not?" His hand slipped from mine. "If I just step away, then I can try getting used to…not being liked. And then I can stand beside you without regrets."
"Because you have absolutely none of those already."
"I'm trying."
"Well, stop." My hand went over his head. "You've got too big of a heart to just ignore people, and you're never going to stop trying to help everyone. That's your whole problem, but that's also what makes you who you are." I forced up a bigger smile for him. "I really love that about you too."
"Thank you, but…" He sighed and shook his head. "We're supposed to be working on you."
"This helps me, actually," I admitted. "Sometimes, solving what we can with you makes it easier to think and talk about myself."
"Really?"
"Honestly, yeah."
"All right. But I…" Mario rubbed behind his neck. "I guess I'm stuck? I don't know if regaining everyone's favor would help by this point, and I really don't want you to take the fall for that anymore." He lowered his head. "I'm tired of not being able to be with you; we haven't been sure for years, and stopping after starting just feels wrong."
"It wouldn't be for too long, hopefully…I don't think…"
"Even still, I chose to be with you, and we saw some of this coming."
"A little, but not all of it."
"Still, I made these choices knowing that it could tarnish my relationships with my friends," insisted Mario. "So, I know that the more choices that I make to help you, in any capacity or time, those will put strains on my relationships with my friends. Luigi is still…I don't know if he'll ever fully understand. And Peach, she…she must…I guess you already know some of her feelings." He sighed, yet shook his head. "But I have to live with that, and I'll face them when we get there."
Hearing that, I still feel like I've ruined him.
"None of that is on you, by the way."
Damn it, what gave me away? My face? I didn't think I deflated that much.
"Don't look at me like that." He pushed my cheeks up, lightly patting me. "I wanted to be with you as much as you did with me."
"But that's part of what I'm worried about," I brought up. "Your friends. Even if I don't get along with them, I want you to be happy. But…we're still at war." His hands slid down my face, while I reached to cup them. "I don't…I don't want to keep hurting you, but we're not at a stopping point yet, and I know that even if you're ok with me now, I'm still responsible for putting you on a direct path to conflict. That is my fault."
"…Going through history, that's debatable—"
"Mario, I am the one that actively chose to battle with Peach," I reminded him. "As always. Repeatedly."
"Counterpoint is that you did it before dating me, so that could help us resolve everything later, by us dating," contested Mario.
"Haven't we brought up about that not working?"
"It still goes back and forth in my head," revealed Mario. "Because, maybe by getting there, and maybe if you promise not to go against the Mushroom Kingdom, we have a chance—"
"Ok, hold on, I'm not going to just step aside outright." My hands went on my hips. "I love you relentlessly, but I'm not letting Junior grow up with hatred into his adulthood. Something has to change, and unless Peach is willing to meet me on that, then I'm never going to stop."
"…I'll…need to have a long, long talk with her."
"We both will." I watched as he hesitated before nodding a little. "…You can warm her up for me, though."
"When we're able, I'll try." He glanced up at me. "Just…keep an open mind too; even if she doesn't start cooperatively, she can come around."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, I…I'll find out when I can."
"…Ok." My hands went back around his waist. "You, I trust. Her, I don't."
"Yes, I know."
"Junior deserves better too, a nice place where he isn't judged because his dad and family before us were enemies to the Mushroom Kingdom." I lowered my head. "He deserves so much more than I can ever hope to give him…"
"Bowser, he thinks the world of you."
"Yeah, and…well, that's sweet, but I still should be better for him, and actually deliver on what I rant about." Leaving his sides sucked, but the weight started picking up in my arms. "Junior thinks I'm some kind of amazing and awesome dad, but I didn't even plan on having him, and I don't know if I'm really a good parent. I mean, really, what kind of dad lets his son go to war? That's insane."
"It's not as uncommon as you might think," brought up Mario. "Regardless of that, the fact that you're worried tells me that you're a great dad, because you care enough about your son's concerns and wellbeing. Prioritizing your kid is a big step that I don't think a lot of parents follow through with." He rubbed my arm. "You would know about that, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that you're better than what you had."
"Thanks. That…really means a lot, even if I'm still not sure."
"I am." He smiled. "Didn't you have an excellent teacher?"
"Kamek."
"Right."
"He…I…" Tears lined up, but I refused to let them out yet. Where could I even start…?
"We don't have to talk about him if you'd rather not."
"No, I…he's been the best dad that I could ask for."
"How so?"
"With my father, he gave up on me, but Kamek never did." Stars, why did my body have to tremble like this…? "He helped with whatever ridiculous exercises I was tasked to complete. Whenever we messed up, he'd help me work on how to improve." My voice broke a bit…maybe a little more than a bit. "Every time I cried about my father not really loving me…he comforted me, told me about how families should be about unconditional love, and promised that he would help me make things better one day." Mario's fingers wiped at the tears that fell down my face, and I blinked. Did I really fail at holding them back for that long…? "…Kamek filled the void that my father had given me for years, that my mother never bothered helping with, and I…I have never once thanked him properly enough for that."
"Pretty sure you have," quietly asserted Mario.
"He deserves better than what I give too," I argued. "Half of the time, I still treat him like a servant, because I…I don't even know why. But, he's better than that, and he does so much for me…for the entire Koopa Kingdom." I heaved. "And I repaid him for his vigilant care by arguing with him."
"He didn't take off because of you."
"One way or another, that's wrong. Either he left to fight because he wanted to let out how I was making him feel, or he left because he really believed that was the best way to help keep us safe, to keep…me safe." Damn it all, it was that, wasn't it? He's still protecting me, after all of this blasted time, and I… "How could I just let him go off like that?"
"Bowser, Kamek chose to go because he loves you." Mario kept his hands on my face. I spotted a few tears on his face and gently brushed at them as he did mine. "And you did try to stop him, but he planned for that. He did that because you are family, and he would sacrifice anything to help you. That's true love."
"…Why couldn't I see that…?" I forced a laugh. "I even sent a soldier after him specifically, not long after he left. Why did I…?"
"Because you don't want to lose him." He giggled as he patted my cheeks. "You started this part of our talk wondering if you're a good leader or not. And you know what? Everything you've brought up means that you are."
"…How?" I shook my head. "Just because I'm worried about my family?"
"Sure, that's definitely part of it." His hands slowly left my face, but he laced them into mine. "But, there's more. You're worried about making the future of the kingdom better for your successor and your people. You want to keep your highest sorcerer alive against challenging odds, and sent him back up. All of your efforts are to make the world better for those that you serve, and to do better than your predecessor." He chuckled. "In spite of that, you still want to work with your most persistent rival to quell your enemy in a way that doesn't involve tearing the entire kingdom down. On top of that, you're concerned with how that rival is viewed by the masses as a whole, and yet you'd sacrifice your own standing to help him maintain or better his."
"Kind of helps that I'm dating him."
"Aw, come on, I brought that all up with as few references to personal relationships as possible," complained Mario. "You have to admit I did that much ok, didn't I?"
"Hmm…ok, I can give that to you," I relented with a wink. "So…you really think I'm a great leader, huh? Even if we factor out us dating?"
"You're considering a wider picture than you ever planned on, and yet still manage to keep up with all that you can, while adjusting to ensuing obstacles," pointed out Mario. "And your concerns are foremost for others. So…if that doesn't make a great leader, one who wants to help others, then I'm not sure what does."
"…Ha." I shook my head. "Leave it to you to make me sound so selfless."
"I don't think you realize just how very selfless you really are."
There is no one that can see me in the way that Mario does. And…I love how he can look at me like that, in spite of everything we've been through…
I love him so much.
Looking out to the smog littered sky, I snorted and shrugged. Maybe the Stars will never bless me, or maybe they have already. Doesn't matter, because having this time with my Mario, and being able to talk like this…we made that happen. If we're cursed, fine, whatever. But all of this only made me want to try harder to hold onto him and help make everything work out for both of us.
"That's the big grin that I love," teased Mario, lightly tugging on my cheek. "Looks like it came about easier at last—"
He didn't get to continue his thoughts, as I pressed our lips together. I wished that my kisses could do more for him, but just giving him a clear sign of how much he helped me, how much he meant to me through all of this…I thought that would remind him.
Prying myself from him though, I bounced back a bit and held our hands up together. Mario blinked and tilted his head.
"What is it?"
"We've got more to prepare for," I decided. "You may not need to go to Star Hill just yet, but now that we're sorted with some of our issues, we have a little more to do, maybe practice a few extra spells of our own." My beam broadened. "And, I think I can send at least one last message to Kamek. Something small, just to let him know that I still love him too, and that I still need him."
"What's that?"
"Come on, I'll show you back inside. More importantly, though, we should get ourselves together for our trip to get your cure."
"But—"
"Nope, we're going to be ready. Come on, let's go!"
Kissing at my boyfriend's cheek, I hurried him along inside, and we left the worst of our worries to drift away in the open air. They can try to catch back up, but I think we're going to blaze ahead in spite of them.
...
Phew! They got to air a lot out, huh? ...Get it? Air it out, roof, sky, releasing tension...come on, that was a good one.
Definitely did a deep dive on character studying with Bowser here, maybe a bit too far, since...well, we know nothing going by canon. But, hey, I think this was a fun take on his damages in life, because daddy issues are super plausible and relatable. More over, though, I wanted to push the focus on Bowser's morality, because even though he is still a villain and evil, it's important to point out that he does have some good to him. (Mario was very generous on that, but boyfriends are biased, I guess.) Regardless of canon backing or lacking, it still seemed like a fun approach to the Koopa King.
There were a bunch of lingering issues that I wanted Mario and Bowser to recognize with one another, so that was their back-and-forth over everything. Communication is important with one's partner, and this may have been a bit heavy-handed approaching that, but I still think it's not bad. They gave each other a better understanding of what they're going through and how they want to help each other, so, that's good.
Like I mentioned before, I should have the small changes worked on for the next update, so here's hoping that I can get it together. The next chapter may be a bit shorter and take more time to post, but it'll set up an arc that I'm looking forward to trying out. Also, a little more magical dabbling with Bowser and Mario! ...That is fun, right? I hope you're enjoying them sling spells.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one too. Feedback is my life energy, so if it was good (or not), please let me know. More to come, of course, but until then, we'll check in again later on. We will get there. Thank you for reading! Take care.