Chapter 8 - Marceline (Originally Published: 25 September 2015)
Marceline did not want to get out of bed today. There was no logical reasoning behind it, it was just this intuitive feeling that she couldn't shake. Had she not been so excited to see Bonnibel, she probably would have stayed in. She'd made the decision to allow herself to open up after realising how sad Bonnibel was about the distance Marceline had set between them, and then how elated she was when they'd put that aside. Marceline just wanted her to be happy, and if she suffered at a cost, she could learn to live with that.
Wrapping her covers around her shoulders, she got out of bed and wandered into the kitchen. Simon had already left for work, but he left her a kebab in the refrigerator. Regarding it with a wary eye, she wished that either Bongo or Bea could be there to whip her up something tasty for breakfast. Simon's cooking was questionable at best, sometimes even less edible than the food they served at school. Closing the door, she rummaged through the cupboards for something to eat and settled for a box of biscuits.
As she sat curled up inside her blanket on the floor, she stared straight ahead. At this height, she only just now noticed a spot on the wall, probably left by the previous tenants. It was such an inconsequential detail, but she focused on it nevertheless. For some reason, even in that mindless space she'd set herself in, she still couldn't shake the feeling that something was not right about today.
Tossing the empty biscuit box into the bin, she shuffled back into her room to figure out what she was going to wear for the day. Most of her clothes lay strewn about, with no indication of whether or not they were clean or dirty. She dropped her blanket on the floor, wincing at the gust of cool air, and grabbed a grey t-shirt from atop her guitar amp. Sniffing it, she determined that it was suitable. From her dresser, she gathered a pair of jeans and clean knickers to go with her shirt and flung them on the shelf in the shower room for when she got out. Marceline turned on the tap and adjusted the temperature to her liking.
As she lathered her hair, she watched the suds glide off of her and into the drain. The hot water cascading down her body made her grateful for a respite from the cold morning temperature. When she was finished cleaning, she shut off the tap, and reached for her towel hanging on the rack nearby. The freezing air that engulfed her as she got out was enough to jolt her awake. Marceline towelled off and dressed as quickly as she could, trying to ward off the cold with brisk movement. After washing her teeth, she grabbed a brush and her hairdryer to set about fixing her thick black mane. The love bites that Phoebe had left in their wild romp showed no sign of relenting. Marceline scowled, fixing her hair so that it covered them, more or less.
Shutting off all the lights in the house, Marceline began mentally preparing herself for the run out to her truck. She grabbed her keys and her phone, shivering as the thin, needle-like air pricked her arms. Ash had promised to look for her jacket, but so far he'd turned up nothing. He hadn't even remembered her wearing it, but she was sure she had it. The problem wasn't that she didn't have other warm clothes, it was just that her leather jacket made her look badass and - well, that was all the reason she needed to find it.
Her pickup, which she'd bought for only four hundred quid, was finally starting to give out on her. Marceline was surprised it lasted as long as it did, but judging from the noises that came from the engine when she turned the ignition, she was going to have to find another ride home today.
Cursing under her breath, she parked at the service station two miles from her house where she experienced her first interaction with Finn. She left the engine running as she ran in to get a coffee, worried that if she turned it off she wouldn't be able to get it started again. With a cup of coffee and a pack of jelly doughnuts in hand, she was ready for the tediously long drive into town.
At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary about the day aside from the nagging feeling that she should have stayed home. Although, once the sun crested over the horizon and the sky gave off a reddish glow, she was overcome with a sense of foreboding. Red sky at night, sailors' delight. Red sky at morning, sailors take warning. Marceline was no seafarer, but the rhyme she'd learned in nursery school had stayed with her - if only just to serve as a warning that there was abundant precipitation in the air.
Rain was all right, if not mildly inconvenient, but storms were another thing. The sound of thunder made her shake to the very core, sometimes rendering her completely immobilised by fear. She could still turn back and go home, crawl into her bed, and sleep all day… but there was Bonnibel. It was worth braving the day just to see her again. Maybe that was the reason she had found it impossible to let go. Or maybe it was just the guilt.
Arriving at school, Marceline parked the truck next to Bongo's shiny, white performance car. It was a gift from his father for his seventeenth, which the two of them had argued adamantly over. The previous summer, Bongo worked a loading job at a warehouse to save enough money for a motorbike, which his father refused to let him ride because it was "below their stature." So, he gave it to Guy. Glaring at the white smoke coming from her engine, she secretly envied both of them.
"Hey Marce," Bongo said through the window, barely audible due to his soft spoken voice.
"Hey Bongo." She grabbed her bag off the floorboards and hopped out, shutting the door behind her. More often than not, she just left her keys in the ignition. No one was going to run off with her heap of rubbish. "Are Guy and Keila not here yet?"
He shook his head. "They're probably running late getting the kids ready for school." It wasn't often that the two of them spent the night at Keila's house, but it was amusing to hear stories about how good Guy was with her younger siblings.
"Have you seen Bonnibel?"
Bongo leaned against his car. "Not yet. Are things okay between the two of you now?"
Dropping her bag on the ground, she reclined against the vehicle next to him. "I don't know." Marceline sighed. "Do you ever feel like no matter what way you handle something - it's the wrong decision?"
"I don't think I've ever had that much of a grey area in my life."
"Didn't think so." Marceline rest her head on his shoulder, feeling crappy about herself and just needing some kind of physical comfort. "I feel like I'm going to get hurt no matter what I do."
Bongo wrapped his arm around her, always happy to provide the reassuring support of a teddy bear. "Sometimes it takes a while before the right path becomes clear, but you'll be okay. I'll always be here for you, Marce."
"Good. I need you and Keila to hold me together."
Bongo chuckled. "As long as you and Guy exist, Keila and I are going to have to stick around." He shook his bangs out of his eyes. "Is this about Phoebe?"
Marceline wanted nothing more than to forget about Bongo walking in on them, and… what happened afterwards. Fate had other plans for her, it seemed. "About that night-"
"It's okay, Marce. I kind of always had a feeling that you were... I don't see anything wrong with it, just so you know."
She hoped that it wasn't so obvious. "How'd you guess?"
He shrugged. "I've seen you checking out girls before."
Marceline laughed. "Like when?" It was a relief that he was handling it so well, and she didn't even have to tell him herself.
"That girl selling tickets at the cinema for one." He grinned. "You have great taste in women. Phoebe's pretty hot too."
"Guten tag, Marceline."
The sound of Bonnie's voice made her jump out of her skin. Did she hear all that?!
"Hey Bonnie," Bongo said with a wave.
Bonnie greeted him, smiling like a Cheshire cat. It made Marceline uneasy.
"I think I just saw Guy and Keila pull in. I'm going to go say hi," Bongo said as he left the two of them there alone.
"Bonnie, I can explain," Marceline said. Now she wished she'd stayed home.
"You don't have to. I get it."
What? "You do?"
"If your friends knew about you and Bongo it'd be really awkward, I bet."
Marceline's brain flatlined. It hadn't occurred to her that their simple means of sibling-like affection could come across as anything more than platonic. She just stared at Bonnie, unsure of how to respond or even if she had the mental capacity to say anything at all right now.
"Don't worry. I'll keep your secret," Bonnie said. "I'm going inside. Are you coming?"
Marceline followed Bonnie up to the school. Bea, Aeryn, and the Mertens brothers were waiting outside on the front steps.
"Marcy!" Bea jumped to her feet, surprisingly agile even with her giant backpack still on, and ran to give her a hug.
"It's good of you to join us," Aeryn said, smiling. At least she was always nice. Marceline felt kind of bad that she had never really held a conversation with Aeryn.
Sitting next to Finn, Marceline tried to ignore the negative energy she could feel coming from his brother. Without looking, she knew Jake was glaring at her from Finn's other side. He wouldn't say anything while Bonnie was there, she hoped. Marceline wondered if Finn knew what had transpired between them. Likely not, considering he didn't hate her.
Aeryn groaned. "Ugh. Why are they looking over here?"
"Who?" Bonnie asked, trying to be inconspicuous as she scanned the area outside the school.
"Over by that group."
They followed Aeryn's line of sight to the body of people sitting at one of the tables on the lawn. The Drama Club. Of course. Of-fucking-course. Marceline had caught Phoebe's furtive glances several times since they'd been back to school. Neither girl had spoken a word to the other since the party, but she could tell that Phoebe had been hoping for some kind of interaction.
Marceline felt bad, of course. She actually really liked Phoebe, despite what everyone else thought of her - they had similar music tastes, and the other girl was cool, not to mention a great shag. Marceline just could not allow herself to be close to other people, and maybe it was unfair that she let Bonnibel in and not Phoebe, but Bonnie was the name etched between the lines in every song she wrote. No matter how many times Marceline ripped the pages out, her name had been scribbled so fervently that it embedded itself into the next page, and the page after, and the one after that - and it always would be. Because as much as she hated it - Bonnie was the spine of Marceline's bent, misshapen book… but Phoebe. Phoebe was a match, an innocent spark - that if left unattended - could spread, and burn, and start wildfires in this forest of walls that Marceline had created around herself.
If there was one thing that Marceline knew - it was that fires always burned out, leaving nothing but destruction in their path.
Bonnibel sat next to her, leaning in to whisper, "Don't let them bother you. They're just trying to get under your skin."
The problem, Marceline thought, was not that they wanted to get under hers - it was that she had gotten under Phoebe's. Big time. Of course, this wasn't something she was going to voice to Bonnibel.
"What are you doing after school today?" Bonnie asked.
Marceline shrugged. "I didn't have anything planned. Did you want to hang out?"
"We were planning on taking the train into the city. To go to The Dungeon." Bonnie bit her lip to hold back a smile.
"That's such a touristy thing to do, Bonnibel. You live here."
"Well, I know. But Aeryn's never been." She stuck out her bottom lip, that stupid pouty face that always made Marceline feel bad. "Come on. Please? It'll be fun."
Marceline didn't care much for the place. There were a million other things they could do in the city that were more fun. Besides, The Dungeon was a horror attraction. It would make more sense to go closer to Halloween.
"What am I going to do if I get scared?" Bonnie reached a hand for Marceline's upper arm, probably intended as a playful gesture, but Marceline pulled away just in time - running her fingers through her hair so as not to hurt Bonnibel's feelings.
"Fine. I'll go." She laughed awkwardly.
At 8:15 the first bell of the day rang. After helping her up, Marceline walked with Bonnie to her first class. Even though it was only a few days ago, Marceline almost couldn't even remember why she wanted to distance herself in the first place.
"Be good today," Bonnie said, smiling. Her eyes drifted to where Marceline's bra strap had slipped down her shoulder. Shaking her head, Bonnie picked up the strap, her gentle fingers trailing along Marceline's skin as she slid it back into place. Bonnie's hand lingered for a moment, but then she and Marceline both moved away.
Almost.
"See you in science. Bye, Bonnibel."
Marceline made it to music class miraculously before the late bell. Not that it would matter, Andrews never gave her a hard time over anything. Well, nothing more than pestering her to join the school's jazz band. They needed a good bassist, and Andrews was certain that she was the best. Taking her seat next to Keila, she stretched out and let her arms dangle at her sides. Their agenda for the day was scribbled on the chalkboard at the front of the room, but she couldn't quite see what it said. Jake's big head was in the way, and she couldn't be bothered to sit up straight.
"Psst." Marceline lifted her foot and tapped the back of Jake's seat. "Pssssst."
"What?" He asked, turning to face her.
"Can you move just a little bit to the right?"
"No." Jake turned back around, sitting up straighter so she couldn't see anything besides his stupid head.
"Wanker," Marceline muttered under her breath.
Jake spun around. "What did you say?"
"I said you're a fucki-"
"Marceline!" Andrews looked up from his desk. "None of that language in here."
Growling, she sat back in her chair. They had a free day, it turned out, so she and Keila took to a corner to jam out together. From the other side of the room, Jake played one of the school band's violas. Marceline didn't want to admit that he was good with it. She didn't even want to hear him play.
There was a simple solution for that. Marceline turned up the volume on the bass amp. They weren't allowed to go past a certain level, but as long as she couldn't hear Jake she didn't care. Andrews didn't seem bothered by it either. He liked Marceline's music. She and Keila played a few variations of chords, trying to find one they liked enough to work with.
Something annoyingly similar to what she was playing penetrated her wall of noise, only it was a chord progression that she quite liked. Glancing up, Marceline saw Jake sawing back and forth on his instrument. She turned the bass amp up to the next number and played the progression right back at him. By this point, Keila caught on and played it on the guitar she'd commandeered from another student, so Marceline switched to improvising on some blues licks to what Keila was playing.
Jake shook his head, playing a mocking counterpart of arpeggio inversions. She was sick of this game. He was trying to throw her off, and it wasn't going to work. The difference between them was that she had the advantage of an amp, so she cranked it up to the highest volume and played an intense slap bass solo. Moving as fast as her hands would allow, she closed her eyes and let the music flow through her. It came out so loud that she could feel it in the pit of her stomach, and she knew that the rest of the fine arts hall had to have heard it as well.
Suffice to say, Andrews was not pleased.
Neither were O'Neill or Hannigan, who were at the music room door in seconds to complain.
It was not unusual for Bonnibel to be late coming to lunch; her gym class was just before and she would sometimes take longer in the showers than Finn or Jake ever did. However, when Marceline arrived at the usual lunch table, she discovered that - in addition to Bonnibel - Jake and Aeryn had also gone missing. Bea and Finn were unaware of her arrival, their attentions focused on a video displayed from Finn's cellphone.
"Where's everybody at?" Marceline asked, taking the seat next to Bea.
"They're planning my surprise party," Finn said nonchalantly.
Marceline remembered Finn mentioning that his birthday was coming up, but she was not aware that it was imminent. "When is your birthday?"
"This weekend." He finally looked up from his phone at her. "I wish you guys could come, but my brother doesn't like Guy or Bongo."
Yeah, I know. And he hates me the most. Marceline nodded. "What are they doing for your birthday?"
Finn shrugged. "Boring stuff. They're like to get a gateau and pizza and we'll probably hang out in the basement while our parents complain about the economy."
"Seems rather naff for a party," Marceline said. She tongued her cheek, deep in thought. "You know, I could probably throw together something small if you think you'd be able to get out of the house that night."
Finn's eyes lit up. "Really? That'd be awesome. I could just tell everyone I'm going to bed early and sneak out the window or something. Meet you down by the petrol station. Will there be bevvies?"
"If you promise not to get carried away again, I'll see about getting some good stuff." Marceline mussed up Bea's hair. "Are you coming?"
Bea shook her head, flapping the excessively long sleeves of her shirt. "No, thank you. I don't really see the appeal in drinking."
Marceline shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that. We'll just have to find something we can all do together sometime."
Across the cafeteria, she could see Guy and Bongo strolling towards them. Bonnibel was still nowhere to be found, and Marceline didn't want to leave without seeing her.
"What's this?" Guy sat down across from her. "You run everyone else off, Marce?" Bongo sat quietly next to him.
"They're off somewhere talking about Finn's super secret surprise party. We're not invited though." Marceline leaned in, lowering her voice. "I think that means we should throw him a party of our own."
Naturally, that made Guy grin. "Smashing. Where are we going to have it though? Dad doesn't know Finn well enough to let him drink at our house and you know we can't do it at Keila's or Bongbro's."
Marceline shrugged. "I was thinking we could do it at Ash's." The looks that she got from the two boys across from her were vastly different - Guy appeared rather excited that she was talking to Ash again, because it meant that he could as well without feeling guilty, and Bongo had never appeared more conflicted in his life.
"You're Keila's boyfriend, aren't you?" Bea asked randomly.
Guy stared at Bea, unsure if he knew her outside of class. "Yeah?"
"I used to have gym with her. Um… She was the only person who was nice to me."
"Oh! You're that Bea. Fine name - Bea. Keila mentioned you a few times." Marceline could not recall a single time that Keila had brought Bea up. Nor had she ever known Guy to be so gentle around another person, but he spoke in such a sensitive way that Marceline was sure he was channelling Bongo's voice at that moment.
"She did?" Bea asked.
Guy smiled warmly at her. "Says you're brilliant. Also mentioned your bully problem."
There was a flash of panic in Bea's eyes, her breathing escalated.
"We ran into that bitch what used to pick on you. What was that girl's name, mate? The one at Phoebe's party?"
Marceline could only remember one girl that they had collectively seen. "You mean Leslie?"
"That's the one. If I had known who she was when I saw her, I would have kicked her-"
"Language," Bongo interrupted.
"Right. I wouldn't have been very nice to her." Guy shrugged. "As far as I'm concerned, you're one of ours. If she picks on you again, you tell me or Marce and we'll take care of her. Right, Marce?"
She wasn't sure what bullying problem he was talking about, but Marceline could feel the blood boiling in her veins. Nobody messed with her Bea. "Right."
Finn didn't seem to know what was going on either, but he looked just as perturbed as Marceline felt.
"Are we switching now? I just saw everybody else in the gym," Keila said, walking over to their table.
"Finn's birthday is this weekend," Bongo said.
Keila sat down on Guy's lap, wrapping her arm around his shoulders to help keep her from sliding off. "Oh really? How old are you going to be?"
"Sixteen on Saturday."
"We're having a party for him at Ash's," Guy said.
"No." Keila looked at Marceline. "No. No. No. Marce, please tell me you're not talking to him again. I thought you weren't going to go over there after the last time?"
"I never said that."
"After what happened? You're just going to forgive him?"
"It's been two years, babe," Guy said.
"Shut up." Keila slapped him lightly on the face. "Marceline. You've done some stupid shit in the time I've known you, but forgiving Ash is probably the worst."
"Is he that bad?" Finn asked, naturally concerned about where he would be spending his birthday.
"Ash is the man. They just don't like him for Marce." Guy was always the only one who approved of their relationship. Keila and Bongo both thought that he treated Marceline poorly, and hated him because of that. No doubt Keila blamed him for the way that Guy sometimes acted, as well. There was nothing in the world she hated more than Ash Williams.
"Nothing good can come from this, Marceline." Keila stared at her in the same way that her mother stared at Keila's siblings when they were bad.
"It's just for the party. Ash and I aren't even dating anymore. You guys liked him when we were just friends."
"That was before we knew him," Bongo said.
"What do you think, Finn? Do you want a choice birthday party?" If it meant hanging out with Ash, Guy was willing to do whatever it took to get them to go.
"Yeah. It's my birthday. I wanna go."
Keila and Bongo shared a look, but they both stood down. Marceline couldn't see why they were so against it, it wasn't like she was going to let Finn out of her sight.
She almost shrieked when two long arms slid around her midsection in a hug. "Surprise! Did you miss me?" Bonnie asked, resting her chin on Marceline's shoulder.
"You scared the ever living shite out of me!" Of course I missed you.
Bonnibel slid into the seat next to her. "Sorry. Aeryn and Jake needed me for something." Glancing over at Marceline's friends, she greeted them politely.
"You're not going to have any time to eat lunch."
"I'll survive. Maybe you and I could get something to eat in town after school?" Bonnie said, smiling.
"Aren't we taking the train?"
"Well, yes. But Aeryn's going home first to get money from her parents. So we'll have some time."
The rest of lunch passed by fairly quickly. When it ended, she said goodbye to Bonnibel and Bea. Literature class was her slowest class of the day. She had absolutely no intention of going. It would just take longer for her to see Bonnibel again.
The younger Mertens boy was throwing his trash away when she reached the cafeteria exit. Marceline slung her arm around Finn's shoulders. "Where do you go after lunch?"
He looked up at her. "Music class, why?"
"You wanna skip with me?"
"Yeah!" She knew he would be excited to go along with her, but she didn't expect the amount of enthusiasm he would have. It was written all over his face.
"Okay. Stay close to me. If we hurry, O'Neill won't be around yet." Hopefully no one else will be either.
"What do we do if he is?"
"Then just pretend we were sent by the office to find someone."
The auditorium was empty. Confident in their backup plan, they didn't bother to hide themselves. They exited through the door to the student car park. No one seemed to be guarding the outside of the school, so they headed for Marceline's truck.
Tossing her backpack over first, Marceline then pulled herself into the bed of the truck. She laid down, using her backpack as a shoddy pillow. Judging by the wetness that seeped into her shirt, it had apparently rained during the school day. The skies no longer showed any symptoms of a forthcoming storm, and the ground was already mostly dry. Never could she be more happy to lay in a puddle. If given the choice between discontent due to a light rain, or anxiety because of a storm - she would take a wet shirt any day.
Finn clambered in behind her. Following her example, he laid his head on his backpack. He kept fidgeting, unable to get comfortable no matter how many times he repositioned his bag.
Marceline patted her stomach. "Here."
"What?"
"Put your head on my stomach."
Finn stared at her like she'd just asked him to commit a crime. Then, he carefully laid his head on her stomach - probably worried that she was joking.
Marceline draped her arm over his chest. "Just don't get turned on or anything. I'll punch you in the bollocks if you do."
Finn audibly swallowed. "Duly noted." He wasn't quiet for long before he had more to say. With anyone else, it might have been exhausting, but Finn was delightful in a weird way. "Why'd you want to skip class anyways? I thought you weren't going to do that anymore."
"I don't want to go to literature today."
"You don't like literature class?"
"Shh. No talking. Look at the clouds with me."
Finn stared at the sky for a minute. "That one looks like a dog."
"Which one?"
He pointed. "The one right there. By the two really big clouds on the right."
Marceline turned her head to try to see from his perspective. "Oh, I see it. The one next to it kind of looks like a flower."
"Yeah, it does." Finn laughed. "The dog looks like he's going to ride the tulip."
Marceline cringed. "Ugh. Don't say that. It sounds so sexual."
Finn turned his head to look at her. "How?"
"It sounds like the tulip is… It's like… You know, like a double entendre." Marceline was so uncomfortable.
Finn's face scrunched up as he thought about it. "Oh. Gross!"
"You said it, kid."
Finn stared back up at the sky. "Can I ask you a weird, kind of personal question?"
"Go for it."
"Have you had sex?"
The question took her by surprise. "Yeah. A few times."
"Is it… scary?"
Marceline chewed the inside of her cheek. There were some memories that she wished could stay buried. "The first time it was."
Finn didn't seem too thrilled to hear that. The poor kid probably didn't have anyone else he could talk to. She couldn't imagine Jake talking about sex, and the rest of his friends had probably never had it. Marceline suddenly felt lightheaded. Has Bonnibel...?
Clenching her jaw, she shoved the thought out of her mind. Finn was staring straight ahead of him, at nothing in particular, probably even more nervous about the topic thanks to her answer. "It's natural to be scared your first time. But it isn't always like that."
He looked at her. "It's not?"
She shrugged. "I can't speak for everyone. But... Sometimes you find someone that you have a real connection with and it's... You just get each other. And you think it'd be great to have that for a long time."
"I thought you didn't believe in love?"
"I don't," Marceline lied. "That doesn't mean I can't have sex with the same person more than once."
"That sounds like love though. If you're with someone forever."
Marceline flicked him in the nose. "I didn't say forever. I just said a long time."
"Ow!" He rubbed his face.
"Why are you asking me anyways? Aren't you and Jake really close?"
"Yeah, but you're easy to talk to. I don't get nervous when I ask you questions."
"You seemed pretty nervous the first few times we talked."
Finn laughed. "Because you're very straightforward. But now that I know you it's kind of nice."
Marceline had never heard it phrased that way before. Normally, people just told her she was rude and inconsiderate. It wasn't a far cry from saying that she was crass, but hearing it phrased in a much nicer way made her smile.
From her truck, they could hear the school bell. "Come on," she said. "Let's get to class."
Marceline changed into her gym clothes. On any other day, she wouldn't even set foot into the ladies' locker room - even though she always had running shorts with her. It seemed pointless since she would just go straight home and shower there, but today was different. Today, she was going to be hanging out with Bonnibel and her friends. The two of them were starting over, it felt like, and she wanted to enjoy every moment she could get.
Feeling good about herself, she jogged out of the locker room and onto the court. Half of her school's track and field team were in her class, so she never did well as far as class averages went - but she was competitive by nature, so she always tried to outdo the other girls. One time she was certain she ran the most laps, but it was hard to keep track of nine other people as well as herself.
In her peripheral vision a red blur zoomed past, drawing her attention. Phoebe passed her, and was gaining speed. Geez. Why is everyone out to get me today? Not wanting to look bad, Marceline sped up. She wasn't going to let Phoebe outrun her.
She caught up, her legs moving so fast that she didn't think she could stop if she wanted to. If Phoebe noticed her, she didn't pretend to care. Marceline put all of her energy into her legs, trying to at least stay one step ahead of the other girl, but for every step she took - Phoebe was ahead of her by two.
Marceline's lungs burned. With every step, she thought she could feel the muscles in her legs and thighs contracting. It felt like her brain had disposed of everything else except running. All she knew was that she had to get in front of Phoebe.
After what felt like hours, a whistle blew and her brain registered that as a stopping point. All at once, her body quit. Marceline lay wheezing and coughing in the floor of the gymnasium; her entire body felt like death. She just wanted to rest for a minute. Or forever.
Looking up, Marceline found the other girl standing over her. Phoebe cocked a brow at her. There was no joy over the victory on Phoebe's face. There wasn't anything even remotely discernible. Marceline watched her go, still incapable of catching her breath.
Bongo came into view, holding out his hand to help her up. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Marceline thought she was going to throw up when she stood, but she managed.
"Dude. You. Got. Wrecked." Guy was standing there, grinning. If she had any energy left in her body, she would have knocked that smirk off his face.
"You saw?"
"Everyone saw." Marceline glanced around the gymnasium. Guy wasn't joking. Apparently she and Phoebe had caused quite the stir among their classmates. And Marceline lost. In front of everyone. She didn't think there was ever a time that she felt more humiliated.
She hobbled to the showers, sore all over. The water was soothing to her aching muscles. Languidly dressing herself, Marceline hoped that Bonnibel was still hanging around the school. Thankfully, the student car park wasn't far from the gym. She was set on meeting Bonnie outside, but surprisingly - her friend was already waiting for her, just outside of the gymnasium. "I was just about to look for you."
"You found me." Bonnie looked like there was something troubling her. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" Without waiting for a response, Bonnie pulled Marceline into the nearby bathroom. She checked under the cubicle doors to make sure no one was in there and then turned back to her. "I overheard Guy and Finn talking about some party."
Marceline was going to tell her about it anyways, but Guy's big mouth beat her to it. She didn't want Bonnie to get the wrong idea. "It's just a small party. I'll keep an eye on the kid."
"I know, Marceline. I trust you. It's just that Finn's really impressionable. Please promise me you won't let him get into any trouble. That's all I ask."
"Yeah. Of course. Just don't tell his brother about it. He'll just have another reason to hate me and I don't want to drag Finn into the middle of this stupid thing that's been going on between Jake and I."
"Okay, I seriously need some answers," Bonnie said, crossing her arms. "Can you please tell me what thing you're talking about? How do you two even know each other?"
"We met at a party a couple of years ago."
Something flickered in Bonnie's eyes. "In Whitewater?"
"Yeah. It was this dumb p-"
"You were in Whitewater two years ago." It wasn't a question.
She hadn't realised what she'd said until she saw the tears welling in Bonnie's eyes. There was nothing she could ever say to remedy this situation.
"I can't believe this," Bonnie's voice shook. "You were here two years ago and you didn't call me, or visit, or anything. How many other times have you been back, Marceline?! I thought we were supposed to be friends." The way Bonnie looked at her made her feel so small. "What am I to you?"
The question was a paradox in its own right. There were no words, no combination of fragments, to answer; yet, there were a million things that could be said by just uttering one simple sentence. Marceline couldn't do it. If she told Bonnie the truth, told her everything, then she would lose her for sure - but telling her nothing would push her away just as much. Her mouth formed the words, but they just wouldn't come.
"Forget it. Goodbye Marceline." Bonnie stormed out of the bathroom.
She felt so bitter about herself. Part of her wanted to cry, and part of her wanted to scream, but all of her wanted to forget this day ever happened. Walking out to the car park, she pulled out her phone and dialed a number.
"Marceline! What's up?" Ash slurred the question; he was already smashed.
"I'm coming over."
Marceline parked her truck in front of Ash's house. His flatmates' cars were gone, so it would just be the two of them hanging out. Shutting the door behind her, she walked up the drive to the front door and tried the handle. It was unlocked, so she let herself in. She tossed her keys on the kitchen table, scattering papers with a thunk.
"Marce?"
"Yeah, it's me." Marceline checked the refrigerator for a lager. She found a bottle of cider and grabbed that instead, curious to try it cold. Looking around, she found dirty dishes towering in stacks on the countertop and in the sink, coated with food and questionable crust. There were probably rats and if Marceline remembered correctly, the ceiling above Ash's bed leaked a putrid brown liquid whenever it rained, but it would do for Finn's party. As revolting as it was, Ash's house was locally regarded as the party house for the broken and the damned, and Ash was the ferryman to this grimy hellhole.
Marceline found her ex-boyfriend lying sprawled out on the floor in the lounge. "Cider's rubbish kept cold," she noted as she sipped hers.
"It's Pat's."
"Not surprised." Marceline set it on the table and crawled into the floor next to Ash, wrapping her arm around him and resting her head on his chest. Almost immediately, his hand slid down her side, running along the hem of her shirt. "Stop. I just want you to hold me."
Ash obediently moved his hand away. She shouldn't have made out with him the other night. It had meant nothing to her, but she had desperately wanted to get Phoebe out of her head.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
"I hurt all over and I'm sad."
"What's wrong?"
Marceline didn't want to answer. It was perhaps because of her reticence that he understood.
"Oh. Right. Her."
"I don't want to hear it."
"I'm sorry, babe."
It made her skin crawl when he called her that. Sitting up, she used nursing her cider as an excuse to move away from him. "Guy and I want to throw a party Saturday. Is it okay if we do it here?"
"Carson? I miss that dude. Yeah, you're welcome to. As long as I get to invite a couple of blokes."
Marceline couldn't really protest that. It was his house after all. "Try not to invite too many people. We're sort of doing it for our friend's birthday."
"Sounds good and all, but I got some spliffs and a few lagers that need taking care of right now. I don't suppose you're interested?"
She was.
Marceline wasn't sure what time it was when Ash finally fell asleep. The telly was playing some program that she didn't care enough to pay any attention to, and none of Ash's flatmates had turned up all evening. Not wanting to sleep at his house again, Marceline found her way to the bathroom to splash water on her face. Then, she downed two glasses of water and grabbed her keys.
There were no businesses open late at night in Whitewater. No streetlamps illuminated the long stretch of road outside of the downtown area. There was nothing to keep her company on the ride home. It didn't help at all that she could barely keep her eyes open. Marceline turned on the radio, thankful even just for the white noise that blared through her speakers. It was something to keep her mind active.
The headlights appeared more dim than usual to her. Unsure of whether it was the truck or herself, she rubbed her eyes. It wasn't her. Marceline pulled off of the carriageway, shifting the truck into park in the grass. As soon as the gear clicked into its slot, her truck sputtered a final whirring goodbye, and died. Marceline just stared into the pitch black abyss all around her for a long time. Then she screamed. Frustrated and angry with the entire day, she screamed unintelligible swears into the empty night sky. Then when she thought she'd finally gotten it all out, she cried.
It would be mid-morning before she could call the AA to take care of her vehicle, but that was the least of her worries. It was three o'clock, on a school night, and she was about an hour away from home - completely trashed.
The only stroke of sheer dumb luck in this entire horrible day was that for once she actually remembered to charge her cellphone. In searching for a ride, Ash was her first choice. Scrolling to the bottom of her surname sorted contact list, she touched his name. He was the closest to her in terms of location, but when she rang him there was no answer. He was still asleep, probably. She scrolled up - Bongo was the next most likely candidate. No answer. Then Keila. Her friend did not drive, but she was probably with Guy, and if she wasn't - she could just wake her mum. However, Keila too, was unavailable. Marceline was beginning to lose hope.
At the top of her contact list, two names glared back at her. She couldn't call Bonnibel - she was still miffed at Marceline, and more likely than not she'd probably already asked Jake about what happened between the two of them. If Bonnibel knew, she would never talk to her again.
That left Phoebe.
Marceline clicked the contact name and waited. By the fourth ring, she was already resigning herself to sleeping in her truck with no blanket, or pillow, or-
"Hello?"
Marceline never did plan what she was going to say if somebody actually picked up her call. She usually just blurted out the first thing that came to mind, but when she heard Phoebe's voice come over the receiver she could not seem to formulate a coherent compilation of words. There were a million things running through her head right now, and she couldn't seem to compartmentalise her thoughts.
The line was dead silent for over a minute. Marceline checked to see if the other girl hung up, but the display told her that Phoebe was still there.
"Sorry for waking you." It was the only thing that Marceline could think to say.
"I was already up."
"Oh. Good." She mentally kicked herself for saying that. She was far too monged to be dealing with this right now.
"What do you want, Marceline?"
She rubbed her temples. "Are you busy right now?"
"That depends." From the tone in Phoebe's voice, she was none too pleased to be talking to her, but that probably had more to do with what happened than it did with receiving a phone call in the middle of the night.
Marceline paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. It should not be this hard to ask someone for a ride. "Do you think you could get one of your friends to come get me? My truck broke down in the middle of fucking nowhere and I can't get a hold of anyone else."
"It would help if I knew where 'the middle of fucking nowhere' was, Marceline."
"About ten minutes past Tesco. On the road going into Duncaster."
"See you soon," Phoebe said, and she hung up.
Marceline tossed her phone onto the dashboard and tucked her legs into her chest. She didn't want Phoebe to be there. At least, she hoped that someone other than Leslie would be driving. If there was someone else there with them, she could maybe avoid any conversation. If Phoebe's best friend was there though, there was no way that she wouldn't make the ride home a living hell. Sleeping in her car was beginning to sound more appealing than atoning for the way she'd treated Phoebe all week. Marceline cursed herself for not listening to instinct. If she stayed home in the first place - none of this would have happened.
The forty-five minutes that passed were agonising. Whitewater had not seen an Autumn this cold in years, and it only meant that winter would be even colder. Marceline loved the cold months though - not so much the cold itself - just the way they made her feel. However, as she shivered violently, curled up in her seat of this cold, metal death trap, all she could think about was how utterly despairing the season change was. She was beginning to think that she might even freeze to death when a set of bright headlights pulled up. The beacon of hope was rejuvenating. Grabbing her bag, phone, and keys, Marceline ran to the waiting car. Opening the passenger side door she found Phoebe in the driver seat. They would be alone.
Marceline sat in the leather seat, setting her bag between her feet on the floor. "Thanks for coming all this way to get me."
Phoebe nodded, her mouth set grimly.
"I didn't realise you had your license," Marceline said, hoping to alleviate the heavy tension in the air.
"I don't."
"Oh. This is your dad's car then?"
"Indeed. He doesn't know I'm out, so I would like to hurry home."
"I live on the total opposite end of town. You can drop me off at Keila's if it's too much of an inconvenience."
"I don't mind."
Marceline sighed. The cherry on top to this shitty day was having to be alone for an hour with someone who hated her guts. Fucking wonderful.
At least there was heat in the car. Marceline dozed off several times, she thought, but every time she opened her eyes it was as if they hadn't moved at all. The only noise was the quiet, deep hum of the heater blowing.
"An explanation would have been nice. Or even just not treating me as if I never existed," Phoebe finally said.
Marceline stared at her hands. She knew it was wrong of her to just avoid Phoebe, but she felt worse now that it'd been brought up.
"It's not you. I swear." Marceline had faced enough conflict for the day. She just wanted to go home and sleep.
"Then what is it?"
"I just can't do relationships right now. Maybe not ever. I'm too fucked in the head to deal with any of that."
"Well enough. And friendships?" Phoebe asked.
"You want to be my friend?"
"Is that a problem?"
"No. I'd like that." Marceline chewed her lip, unsure whether or not she should bring up what had plagued her mind since Monday. "Since we're talking about stuff…"
"Yes?"
"Can I just ask why you told Leslie that we… You know."
"That we fucked?" She spit the word like venom, a clear indicator of how badly she'd been hurt. "I didn't."
"How did she know though?"
"Back seat."
Somewhat startled, Marceline turned to look. A familiar leather garment was folded neatly on the seat. "My jacket?"
"You left it in my room. I don't kiss and tell, Marceline. Especially not to someone with such loose lips."
"I didn't think that you-"
"Yes, you did," Phoebe said coolly.
The comment gave way to another hostile break in the conversation. There wasn't much Marceline could do about it. Phoebe was going to be cross with her either way. Pulling her jacket on, she leaned her head against the window, watching the streetlamps that passed overhead as they drove into town.
The mixture of the cold glass on her face and the heat of the car lulled her to sleep, until an abrupt earthshaking boom erupted, startling Marceline awake again. Shutting her eyes tight, she curled into a ball and covered her head with her arms - desperate for some sense of security. It was to no avail. Every time the thunder struck she could feel the breath being knocked out of her.
"Marceline?"
With the scary noise being the first thing she'd woken up to, she almost forgot she was in Phoebe's car. Marceline tried to collect herself, but the air in her chest felt like lead.
Phoebe reached over and took Marceline's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers together. "We're almost there. It's okay. I'm right here," she said, and it made Marceline feel a little more secure, a little less panicked.
Phoebe held their interlocked hands in her lap for the rest of the ride, not seeming to mind when Marceline whimpered at the loud noises, and never complaining when she squeezed the circulation out of Phoebe's hand.
It was still storming when they pulled into the drive, and Marceline wished she didn't have to get out yet, but Phoebe was risking a lot for her as it was.
Phoebe shut off the car. "Get your keys ready."
Marceline didn't stop to ask questions, she just did as she was told. Phoebe counted to three and they threw open the car doors simultaneously, running up to the front door in the pouring rain. Marceline fumbled to unlock it, her hands shaking uncontrollably. The sky behind them lit up, followed by a bone rattling crack. She dropped the keys, her body suddenly freezing in fear. Phoebe grabbed them up from the ground and turned the key in the doorknob. In a rush of adrenaline, Marceline shoved the door open with the force of her whole body and collapsed into the floor, thankful to finally be out of the rain.
Closing the door behind them, Phoebe helped her up from the floor and into her room. If Marceline hadn't felt so anxious from the storm, she probably would have been embarrassed about how messy she was, but Phoebe didn't seem to care.
"Where do you keep your towels?"
"Bath's in the hall. We keep them on a shelf," Marceline said.
Phoebe was gone for less than a minute, returning with a towel for both of them. Wordlessly, she dried Marceline's hair, then folded the towel and placed in neatly on the floor. "You'll catch ill if you don't change out of those wet clothes," Phoebe said, turning her back to Marceline to dry her own hair.
Marceline changed into her pyjamas and looked for a spare clean shirt. "Here," she said, holding it out. "You can wear it if you want. It's dry."
Phoebe unbuttoned her blouse, letting it slide down her shoulders to reveal the smooth porcelain skin underneath. Maybe it was because Marceline had seen her completely naked, even delicately caressed the same body she was looking at now, but it made her mouth dry and her face feel flushed.
Glancing over her shoulder, Phoebe caught her staring. She winked as she took the shirt from Marceline and pulled it over her head. "Thank you," she whispered, a vain smirk playing at the corners of her lips.
The thunder boomed again, and Marceline shut her eyes, covering her ears with her hands. She hated the sound. It always brought her back to the loss of her father. She hated this whole day. She just hated everything right now.
Phoebe pulled her hands away, prompting Marceline to open her eyes. "It's okay. I'm here," she said, smiling for the first time that didn't seem to mask any ulterior motives.
"Don't you have to get home before your dad finds out you're gone?"
Phoebe shook her head, a lock of hair falling in her eyes. "I'll figure something out. I don't mind staying with you until you feel safe."
Marceline tucked the lock of hair behind Phoebe's ear. In that moment, she wanted to kiss her - she wanted to cry, and thank her, and tell her how beautiful she was with her damp hair standing there in Marceline's t-shirt, but she couldn't, because that held an underlying promise that she couldn't commit to.
So she didn't.
Phoebe made her lay down and covered her with the big blanket that Marceline left in a pile on the floor that morning, tucking it under her body like a cocoon. Then, laying in bed next to her, Phoebe ran a finger down the bridge of her nose. No one had ever done that, and it seemed like such a silly thing to do, but it was surprisingly relaxing. Marceline's eyes fluttered shut. Phoebe tried to take her mind off the storm by singing softly. And it worked.
Eventually, Marceline seemed to forget all about the rain beating against her window, and the rumbling of the sky, and instead all she could hear was Phoebe's voice. Which too faded, as she fell asleep with a smile on her face.