Chapter 15 - Keila (Originally Published: 13 November 2015)
Sharp, cold air hit her face in a barrage of pins as the motorcycle cut across town. The school was only a few blocks away from Keila's house, and she was glad for that; her face was already growing numb. Keila buried her face in Guy's shoulder, happy to welcome his comforting scent - something mossy and leathery. She held on tighter to her boyfriend, her heart racing when they drove over a speed bump - as much as she trusted him, the sudden jolt scared her every time.
The motorcycle slowed down as it passed through the gates to the student car park. The weather had been getting colder with each passing day, and the less comfortable it was outside, the less crowded the car park was with students talking. They had likely all retreated to the interior of the school to stand by their lockers or sit in the cafeteria. Still, a few familiar faces could be spotted here and there; couples huddling together, or teenagers untouched by the cold. Among them, Keila was surprised to find her own friends.
Guy parked his bike next to Bongo's car, taking his helmet off to look at them. "You know it's about eleven degrees out, yeah? What are you still doing here?"
"Waiting for you," Bongo said, shifting uneasily.
Leslie was standing incredibly close to him, practically under his arm, jabbering on about the temperature. The big oaf of a boy appeared rather uncomfortable that she was invading his personal space, but likely didn't move because he knew he provided some kind of shield against the elements.
"Did you guys get the text from Bea the other day?" Marceline asked. She and Phoebe were standing close together as well; they each had one hand hidden away behind them.
Are they... holding hands?
Phoebe caught her staring and played with the collar of the jacket she wore with her free hand, making sure she noticed whose it was.
Guy helped Keila down from the bike and fastened both their helmets to the handle. "Yeah, we did. I wonder why she wants to meet with us though."
"Probably shouldn't keep her waiting." Marceline broke away from Phoebe. "I don't know how long this will take. You don't have to wait for me."
Bongo looked relieved to finally be able to move away from Leslie, guilt free. He followed Marceline towards the school. Guy and Leslie followed behind them, talking about something that Keila could no longer make out.
She looked at Phoebe still wearing Marceline's jacket and snorted derisively. "Having fun playing girlfriend?"
The other girl lifted an eyebrow. "Excuse you?"
"Tell me, Pheebs, what is it you want from her? Are you doing it to be in the spotlight? Does 'Daddy' not give you enough attention?" That struck a chord. Keila could see fire swirling in pools of blue, like orange koi dancing in a pond. Phoebe's eyes narrowed, her jaw clamping shut like a bear trap. Keila continued taunting her, sick of the way she toyed with Marceline. "Or is it method acting? Needed to learn your part, so you seduced the one girl who would even look at you?" Keila leaned in, enunciating each word with perfect clarity. "You are so fake, and I can see right through you."
Keila turned and walked away, not sparing a glance to see the other girl's reaction.
She found her friends waiting just outside the gym. Thankfully, Leslie had already split off from the group and gone on to her own devices.
Guy welcomed her with a peck on the cheek. "What took you so long? I thought you were right behind us."
"Had to take care of something."
"Are we ready then?" Marceline asked, opening the door.
They followed her into the gymnasium, and Keila was glad that for once the drama bitches weren't allowed to tag along. Whatever this was, it was for Bea.
Keila had been with Guy Friday afternoon when they both received the text message asking them to meet her in the gym. It was rather odd, because Bea had never requested to see any of them outside of class, except perhaps Marceline.
She'd been trying to mull over what this encounter could possibly mean all weekend, but when she saw Bea's other group of friends already waiting in the gym with her, she realised two things - the first being that this was probably some kind of intervention, and the second being that this was not going to go very well at all.
Finn stood when he saw them, crossing his arms over his chest. "You guys are going to have to find somewhere else to hang out. We need this spot. So, go on. Clear off."
"Actually Finn-" Bea started to say, but she was interrupted by a much louder voice.
"Bea messaged us too. We've got every right to be here," Guy said, defensively.
"That's shit. She doesn't even know you," the younger boy spat back.
Bea wrung her hands together nervously. "Guys-"
"Stop it. Both of you." Marceline stepped between the two of them before they could reach each other. "Please calm down. We're not here to fight. We're here for Bea."
Everything after that happened so fast.
Finn shoved her away from him, forcefully. "Piss off, you crazy bitch."
There was a startled shriek and everyone was yelling, either at each other or to try to calm one another.
Guy, fully enraged, knocked Finn completely off his feet. "Fuck you, man! If you fuck with one of me mates, you fuck with me!"
The older Mertens boy cut in, getting in Guy's face. "Don't you dare touch my brother ever again, Carson!"
Keila backed away, trying to assess the situation. She was so cool when people needed her, but not under pressure. There was just too much going on. She froze, watching the chaos play out in some kind of hyperactive slow motion.
Aeryn and Bea were trying to pull the boys away from each other, shouting for some kind of order, and Finn was just getting to his feet - teeth bared like he was ready to kill.
Marceline had torn the cut on her hand from breaking her fall, and a deep red stain was beginning to seep through the thin bandage.
The boys were still holding back, for the sake of Bea, but their argument was getting louder, more heated. Keila thought they were going to really fight, but Bongo stepped in, grabbing Guy in a headlock and sweeping Jake up over his shoulder so he couldn't do anything but dangle awkwardly.
Both boys struggled, but Bongo was massive compared to the two of them. "Both of you stop right now." They stopped trying to fight back, realising that resistance was futile. "We're supposed to be here for Bea. I know tensions are high, but can we please just stay civilised for five minutes?"
Jake and Guy both muttered a defeated, "Yeah," so Bongo set them both free.
Everything seemed to fizzle out, and for a moment it seemed like they might actually be able to get through this in one piece - until Finn stepped forward, jabbing a finger in Bonnie's direction. "I can't believe you're still friends with her. After everything she's done to Jake."
Bonnie was kneeling on the ground next to Marceline, tending to her busted hand. She looked up at him. "It's called forgiveness, Finn. Marceline's a changed person now."
"That's bollocks and you know it!"
"Finn." Jake put a hand on his brother's shoulder, a sort of calm resignation in his voice. "The sooner you let Bea talk, the sooner we'll all be out of this mess."
Bea looked so hurt that they'd been such children. All they had to do was put their differences aside for one moment and hear her out, and they couldn't even manage that. Now that everyone's attention was on her, it became apparent how selfish they'd all been.
Bea's eyes were wet with tears as she looked at all of them - all of the people she cherished. "No. Never mind. This is so wrong. I can't do this anymore." She turned to leave, but Keila cut through the group to get to her.
Gently, she took Bea by the hand. "Hold on, sweetie." She glanced over at the group; everyone was more or less absorbed in their own miasma - tending to physical wounds and damaged egos. Keila exhaled slowly. "I know everyone's got their heads stuck up their arses, but you can do this. I'm right here for you. Did you ask us to come because of all the bickering?" Bea shook her head, to Keila's surprise. She thought for a moment, and then asked, "Is it about what Leslie picks on you for?"
Bea nodded slowly. "I was finally ready to come out about it. I just wanted to tell all my friends. I didn't mean for this to happen. And… I'm scared. I've been worrying about whether or not they're going to still be my friends afterwards or if they'll think I'm weird like Leslie does. I'm just-" Bea hiccupped, covering her face with a sleeved hand. "I'm just so sick of hiding who I really am from them."
Keila held her face, running her thumbs over Bea's cheeks, uncaring of the audience she no doubt had begun to gather. "If anyone ever thinks you're weird for being who you really are, then they can fuck on off. You're wonderful, and an amazing friend." She smiled, hoping to provide some sort of reassurance. "I know Bonnie's friends aren't going to treat you any differently. Bonnie only surrounds herself with brilliant people, just like you, so I know they're not going to care one way or the other who you are - just that you're you. And my crew? We've all had Marce to teach us a thing or two about being open-minded. I know they're not going to judge you either. You got this, Bea… or whatever you want to be called."
Bea smiled up at her. "I love you, Keila. You make me really happy. And I know you make Guy happy too."
Keila realised suddenly that she'd just indirectly exposed one of their group's secrets, not that she didn't think she could trust Bea, but… "You don't seem at all surprised to hear about Marceline."
A knowing smile crossed Bea's lips. She wrinkled her nose, trying to hide it. "I've known since I first met her."
"Really now?" Keila asked, surprised.
Bea just shrugged, her sleeves flapping when she threw her hands up. "I see the way she looks at Bonnie… Like Bonnie put the stars in the sky. I think she's the only thing in this whole world that really matters to Marceline, and she doesn't even realise it." Bea frowned suddenly, looking over at the group - at Bonnie and Marceline. "But I see the way everyone else acts as well. They're all heading in the wrong direction and there's nothing I can do to stop them."
Keila mussed up Bea's hair. "I know. It's sad, but we don't have much time before the bell rings. So get out there, slugger."
Keila walked back towards the group, whistling loudly to get everybody's attention. They all turned to Bea, their differences momentarily forgotten as they waited patiently for her to finally tell them why they'd all been brought together today.
Bea crossed her arms over her chest, looking down and away from everybody. Her voice was loud enough to be heard, but shaky and unsure. "I know no one really likes each other right now, but I…" Tears began to well up in her eyes again, but she wiped them away with her sleeve. Keila gave her a thumbs up. Bea kept her focus on her, and her alone, likely tuning out that everybody else was there in order to make it easier for her to get through this.
Bea continued, "I've been trying to come to terms with who I am. Or… what I am. I've never been entirely comfortable in my own body, and sometimes it gets really bad, but I've never been able to talk to anyone about how I'm feeling. I'm surrounded by all these wonderful friends and I just feel trapped. You guys are the only friends I've ever really had and that scares me. I'm so-" she gave a gasping sob, covering her face with her hands until she could regain her composure. "I'm so terrified of losing any of you. And no matter how happy I am when I'm with you, I'm always scared that one day you'll see me the way I see myself and you'll just… just leave…"
She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. "I don't feel like gender applies to me in the same way it does most people. I feel so insecure about myself. About my body. I don't feel like a girl. But I don't feel like a boy either… and sometimes I feel like I'm both at the same time. I don't know how to define it. I've tried looking it up online, but everything is just so confusing and I don't even know who I am anymore. I just know that I don't really feel comfortable with female pronouns. So, if you could just call me something more… I don't know, neutral? Like 'they' instead of 'she', that would be really great." Bea paused, finally looking at them as a whole. "I know it's going to take some time getting used to, so if you mess up a few times I understand… and if you don't want to be my friend anymore… Well, I guess I can understand that too."
Keila already knew all of this, and had already dealt with the mental processing required in understanding Bea's differences. She looked around at everybody else, ready to step in just in case there was a bad reaction.
They all just looked dumbfounded, unsure of what to say - except for Bonnie who rushed towards Bea and swept her-... them up in a big hug. "I am so proud of you. You did so well!"
Marceline followed Bonnie, rubbing the back of her neck. "I honestly had no idea… but you're awesome, Bea. You've got more courage than I'd ever have." She hugged both Bea and Bonnie at the same time.
Aeryn was next to step up, proclaiming how proud she was of Bea for telling them, and how happy she was that Bea trusted them enough to divulge this information. Soon, everyone had joined in on the big group hug, smothering Bea in nothing but supportive affection - except for Finn.
He looked as if the news had knocked any sort of sense out of him, but finally he stepped forward and squeezed into the circle, squishing himself under everyone else to hug Bea directly. "I love you, man," Keila heard him say, muffled by all the other bodies.
When the bell rang for them to go to their first class of the day, everyone reluctantly broke off from the hug. As they filed out, each person stopped to tell Bea how proud they were of them. It warmed Keila's heart, that even through everything that had happened, they could unite - even momentarily - for the one person who needed it the most.
She said goodbye to Bea, telling them to have a good day, and caught up with her boyfriend and Bongo. Marceline had stayed behind with Bonnie, still talking to Bea. When Keila exited the gymnasium, she found a certain redhead waiting by the door.
"Hey, Phoebe," Bongo said, cheerily. "Marceline's going to be a while, I should think."
"I can wait." Phoebe glared at Keila when their glances briefly met.
She rolled her eyes, ignoring the angry redhead, and took Guy's hand as they walked to the science room.
"I'll see you later, love," he said, when they were outside the door. Guy kissed her softly, and went in to take his seat.
Bongo was still standing there.
"Don't tell me you want one too?" Keila joked.
"Heavens, no." Bongo rubbed his arm. "I uh… I don't think I'm going to be able to hang out for Halloween." He looked away from her, suddenly interested in the wall.
"Why? What's up?"
"Bonnie invited me to do something with her. I'm sorry."
Keila's stomach sank. "You're… Bonnie?" She felt light-headed. "Do you… like her, Bongo?"
A faint smile brushed his lips. "Yeah. A whole lot. We hung out over the weekend."
Her eyes went wide. "You didn't tell Marce did you?!" He looked at her with a confused expression, so she added, "Of course you haven't. I would have heard about it already. Listen, Bongo." She grabbed his arms, looking him in the eyes. "You. Cannot. Tell. Marce." She punctuated each sentence by shaking him.
Bongo's eyebrows knitted together. "I don't understand. Why can't I tell Marceline?"
Because it'll destroy her. Keila combed a hand through her hair, trying to think of what she could tell him. "Look, Marce is just… overprotective of Bonnie. Especially after Ash tried to come onto her."
His mouth twitched, and he buried his hands in his pockets. "Marce knows I would never hurt anyone though." His voice was so sad.
She thought about trying to keep them apart, about driving a wedge between Bonnie and Bongo to keep Marceline safe… but Keila knew she would be tearing herself to pieces if she did. It was something she was incredibly conflicted about. This whole thing was one big fucked up mess - both of her best friends were interested in being with the same girl. Who was she to decide which of them deserved Bonnie more? Keila reached her arms under his jacket and pulled him in for a tight hug. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I don't know what to tell you. Just… do what you gotta do. And if you and Bonnie decide to start seeing each other, well I can't stop you, but please tell me first. I want to be the one to break it to Marce. Okay?"
Bongo hugged her back. "Okay, Keila… I just don't understand why Marce wouldn't be okay with it."
He still thought that Marceline and Phoebe were a couple, she realised, even though Keila had explicitly told him that nothing else was ever going to happen between those two. She could understand his confusion though, they certainly appeared more than friendly.
On the other hand, he'd known Marceline for all of his life and he still couldn't figure out who she really wanted to be with.
Keila parted from Bongo's company and started off towards her own class. She wasn't sure how she was going to face Marceline now. There was a part of Keila that wanted to tell her, to warn her so that she could possibly be emotionally prepared in case things didn't turn out the way she wanted them to… but it would only cause problems between Marceline and Bongo. It wouldn't be easy for her to stay out of it either, because if Marceline found out that she knew, well it would hurt their relationship with each other.
Keila tried to tell herself it would be okay. Besides, Bonnie probably didn't fancy Bongo…
Did she?
Keila tapped her pencil against the desk, waiting for Bonnie to sit down. She'd been standing outside of the history room talking to Marceline for the past five minutes. It was cute, but Keila's stomach was not in the mood for cute. It was hungry for cold, hard truth. She'd been impatiently waiting to talk to Bonnie all day.
The only sort of solace she'd found in this moment - so close to what she'd been waiting for, and yet so far - was Phoebe.
It disturbed the popular girl quite a bit not to be the centre of everyone's attention. Not only had she come into class earlier than usual - not wanting to stand with Marceline as she talked to Bonnie - but she couldn't stop glancing out the door to the two childhood friends barely visible outside. If she was trying to hide it, she was doing a shit job.
Finally, after an unbearable amount of waiting, Bonnie came in and took her seat in front of Keila.
"Hey sweetheart," Keila said, smiling. Her leg wouldn't stop shaking, unable to restrain the impatient anticipation she'd been feeling all day.
Bonnie smiled, turning around in her seat to face Keila better. "How has your day been coming along? Do you have any plans for after school?"
"S'fine. I think I'm just going to stay home with Guy today." Keila could not have hated small talk more at that point, but she politely asked, "And you?"
"Marceline and I are going to take the train into the city. Just to hang out and get a change of scenery. Also, there's a record shop she really wants to go to." The way Bonnie glowed when she talked about her after-school plans made Keila feel a little bit better, but the question that had been burning through her thoughts all day still needed to be asked, at least for her own peace of mind.
"That sounds like a lot of fun." Keila set her pencil down to keep herself from fidgeting with it. "By the way, I talked to Bongo earlier. He says you're taking him away from us for Halloween. That's… not a date, or anything, is it?"
Bonnie covered her reddening face with her hands. "Ohh, I'm so sorry. No, it's not a date. We're going to be at Jake's house. We just thought it would be nice to do something together."
"It's okay, Bonnie. I don't mind you stealing him away, just this once." Keila tried to sound cheerful and supportive, but she suddenly had a bad feeling about the question she was going to ask, and it projected in her monotone voice. "I'm guessing you're quite keen on him then, yeah?"
Bonnie's face only seemed to redden more, and she couldn't stop herself from smiling. "I don't think I've ever met anyone like him."
The admission made Keila feel as if someone had buried a knife in her gut and twisted it. She didn't dare imagine how much worse her best friend would feel. "When were you planning on telling Marce?"
"How do you know I haven't?" Bonnie said, in a cheerfully challenging voice.
Keila rubbed her eyes. "Because then I wouldn't have had to hear about all this from Bongo."
"Okay, you're right." Bonnie worried her lip, looking away nervously. "I don't exactly know how to tell Marceline. I'm not sure how she's going to react."
She watched Bonnie for a long time. It's like she knows, but she doesn't know that she knows. "Well," Keila began, "my advice is don't. Let me tell her instead. I know how she's going to react to this, and I know that it's going to be best for everyone if I'm the one to handle it."
Bonnie frowned, splaying her hands out in front of her. "I don't think that's very fair to Marceline. I should be the one to tell her."
Filled with remorse, Keila put a friendly hand on Bonnie's shoulder. "Trust me. You really shouldn't."
Keila had forced herself to take slow, shaky breaths, trying her hardest to stay quiet. Guy was doing that thing that made her melt every single time, and even though she didn't think it would be a good idea, she was considering letting him have what he wanted. It wasn't like they'd never fooled around at her house. She just didn't like having to worry about being quiet. At least Guy's dad was a heavy sleeper. Keila's five younger siblings? Not so much.
There was a rustling outside of her room, something prowling through the bushes. She could feel her boyfriend tense up as he detached himself from the sensitive spot on her neck.
Keila groaned. "Not right now."
"What is it?" Guy rolled onto his side to look at the window, just as it swung open. A tall, clumsy figure crawled through it, crashing noisily onto the floor.
So much for being quiet.
"Oi! Think you coulda come at a worse time, mate?" Guy looked just as annoyed as he sounded. He pulled the covers up to his stomach.
Marceline completely ignored him. She grabbed the chair from Keila's desk and dragged it closer to the bed, sitting backwards on it. "You're never going to believe what happened," she said, excited.
Keila sat up, reaching for her shirt that had been discarded in the floor. She pulled it over her head and leaned back, propping herself up on her elbows. "Okay, fine. Tell me, Marce. What happened?"
"Well, Bonnibel and I went to the city today, and it was like… No matter what we were doing, she just wanted to hold my hand. She kept saying that she just didn't like not feeling close to me, but I think that maybe she was just saying that, you know? When we went for pizza, she wouldn't stop staring at me with this… this look on her face. I think you may have been right, Keila. I think Bonnibel might actually have feelings for me." Marceline smiled so big, and it did nothing but leave a painful hole in Keila's chest.
She and Guy shared a look, and it said everything. From his eyes she could tell that he knew Bongo and Bonnie were getting closer as well. Her boyfriend reached over and grabbed his phone from the bedside, not wanting to be a part of this conversation any more than she did. However, Guy had a choice on whether or not he had to be involved, and instead of dealing with it, he immersed himself in some game he'd been playing in his free time.
Keila pressed her lips together in a slight frown. "I know what I said, babes. That isn't proof enough though. Hasn't Bonnie just always been very forward with her affections?"
Marceline sat up a little straighter, her catlike intuition sensing something amiss before she likely realised it herself. "Yeah, but that was before she knew that I like girls. You wouldn't be super affectionate with Bongo would you?"
That grabbed Guy's attention. He looked up from his cell phone. "Who's being super affectionate with Bongo?"
"No one," Keila and Marceline seemed to say at the same time.
Keila wished that she didn't have to be involved in this situation at all. "I still don't think it's enough evidence. Maybe you should wait a little while before you get your hopes up. Just test the waters out a bit more."
Guy snorted. "I think you should go after Phoebe anyways. She's at least without a doubt in love with you."
Marceline looked at Keila with wide eyes. "You told him?!"
"Told me what?"
"Calm down. I didn't." Keila looked at him. "How do you know that?"
"It's fucking obvious. Phoebe looks at Marce like how she looks at Bonnie. Or like how Bongo looks at-" He froze.
Marceline tilted her head, her eyes narrowing. "Like how Bongo looks at what?" she snapped.
"Food," Keila finished for him, pinching his thigh under the covers. "Like how Bongo looks at food."
Chuckling, Marceline agreed with that.
"Anyway," Guy continued, rubbing the small welt that Keila had no doubt left him with. "Bonnie's nice and all, but I've never really liked her much. Phoebe's at least got money. 'Sides, she's fucking hot."
Keila spun her head around, glowering at him. "And you're sleeping on the couch tonight."
"What?"
"Go." Keila said, whipping him with his own rolled up t-shirt when he stood. She waited until he was out the door before patting the spot where he'd just been for Marceline to sit.
When she joined her, Keila turned onto her side so that she could look at Marceline. "I'm not saying that Bonnie doesn't have feelings for you. Maybe she does. I just… I don't want you to get hurt, Marcy."
Marceline laid back, putting her head on the pillow next to Keila's. "I know."
"So, if it doesn't happen like you want it to? You're just going to be okay with it?"
Marceline laughed through her nose. "When we were at the record shop today, I was looking at a sleeve and I think Bonnie was curious about what I was doing. She came over to me and wrapped an arm around my waist and just stood close to me so she could read it too. I looked over at her and she was just looking at me and I- I almost kissed her. I honestly think that for once… everything's going to be okay."
"Come here." Keila lay on her back and patted her stomach, waiting for Marceline to rest her head there. She played with her friend's hair, humming quietly until she fell asleep.
Next to her, Keila's phone vibrated from its spot on the floor. Keila reached down and grabbed it, looking at the text she'd received.
Bongo Roland - now: I just asked Bonnie to go on an actual date with me for bonfire night. She said yes! c:
Keila deleted the message and tossed her phone carelessly back into the floor. "This is certainly turning out to be a fantastic last year of school," she whispered sarcastically, to herself.