Love Hina belongs to Akumatsu Ken, while this fic belongs to me.
In the end, Shinobu tells no one.
She doesn't tell Su
She doesn't tell Seta
She doesn't tell Sarah
She doesn't tell Haruka (Though she thinks – no, knows she's aware of it already)
She doesn't tell Mutsumi
She doesn't tell Motoko
(And she definitely doesn't tell Naru.)
Instead, she forces herself to breath, recollects herself, and gets dinner started – pretends that sight of Mitsune walking up the steps to the Inn was all in her head as she buries it under recipes and ingredient adjustments. She buries it further in small talk, in planning for classes tomorrow, in wondering if she added too much salt, in worrying if they have enough soy sauce in the fridge, in realizing she's wasting her time there's only six days left! SIX! Do you think this is still a joke? That he didn't mean it? That he'll show up at Seta's door to save you like before and tell you that he changed his mind and that he Actually loves you and then whisk you off to you little fantasy world where nothing bad happened and you'll live happily ever after-
She leaves the table with her dinner barely bitten into and heads to bed, claiming she wants to get breakfast ready early – they're going to get the scores for their finals from last week back tomorrow and she wants to see the new rankings for her year before the crowds show up.
Then she vanishes up the stairs and into the spare room she and Su were given to share, flops down on the futon, and stares up in the dark.
They don't ask her about skipping dinner or the fact that she overslept passed making breakfast. In the end, they just rewarm whatever's in the fridge that isn't spoiled.
(When did she make so many rotten meals? When did she leave them all there for so long?)
Her final grades aren't bad, but they aren't necessarily outstanding either. Between everything happening with the Hinata and her helping Seta keep house, studying had been the last thing on her mind, and it had reflected deeply in both the final class ranking and the tests she had gotten returned.
All in all, nothing she didn't expect. At the very least, she won't have to worry about needing cram school classes during spring break, so there's that.
"Wow, Shinobu-chan did so well!" Su beams from behind her, and while such praise from her friend would usually make her bashfully tuck in her head like a turtle and deny any talent or prowess, instead she just blankly nods as the crowd around them surges, frustration and pride sweeping her attention away like a careless tide.
("Five days" repeats in her head like an ominous promise)
Announcement are given about an end of term assembly and how those among them who scored poorly should think hard about what they plan on doing over spring break before they return, followed by congratulations to a classmate who managed to rank in the top 50. They're told to enjoy their last three days of classes as it will mostly just be free periods, but also that they still have class duties to do.
Speaking of...
"Maeda-san, Watarui-san." Hamura calls from near the chalkboard "You both are on class cleaning duty today – is that acceptable?"
Any other time, Shinobu would have said no, would have given her chores at the inn or having to shop for food for home as the necessary excuse to head home early.
"O-of course!" she squeaked with a nod, while Watarui gives a rather lazy wave of acknowledgment.
Su looks clearly confused by her action, and hopped up from her seat immediately to yell "Wait, Shinobu has to make dinner!"
Her smile bends, but she manages to correct it again before anyone can notice (or she say something that keeps it bent)
"It's fine, there's still some stuff left in the fridge for you, Seta-san and Sarah to warm up." she says, feeling the leather of her bookbag dig into her palms "You guys should be good, so no need to wait for me, okay?"
Her friend frowns and hops over, leaning in to whisper "But we having a meeting with Naru too."
Shinobu's smile bends again. Oh right, that. She had almost forgotten considering how much had happened yesterday evening.
"I'll meet up with you there later then." she replies, tone low (and growing cracked) "Cleaning shouldn't taken long"
Su still refuses to budge though, concerned about how the others will be worried and how she doesn't want to go alone and Shinobu's been weird since this morning, and before she can stops herself, something harsh and rough overcomes her as she snaps back "Will you back off already! I can miss one stupid meeting. Naru won't even notice I'm not there!"
Su's smile drops, and the classroom goes quiet, and Shinobu immediately realizes what she did.
"I..." comes out of her mouth for a minute before Su backs away, promising to tell Naru she'll be by later and heading back to her desk.
And Shinobu just stands there, stewing in the surprised gazes of their classmates before she finally heads to her desk too, and forcing herself to think about where the cleaning supplies were usually in the classroom.
Naru is angry
Granted, she always is nowadays, but right now its worse than what she's gotten used to in the past 4 weeks.
She's not entirely sure what happened, can only make out "Grades" "Test" and "Bastard" out of the gnashing and stomping the redhead's doing in the rented "party room" she and Mutsumi are having them meet in today. Motoko can't explain because she fell asleep midway through complaining about her teacher pulling her aside and suggesting a tutor, while Mitsumi can't explain because she's desperately trying to keep Naru from damaging any more of the meeting space they rented than she already had.
Su hides behind her as Shinobu flinches hard at the sight of Naru's hand colliding into the wall and the dent it left – and she can't help but imagine what it would look like if that happened to Mitsune's face, who didn't have a steel body like Senpai or could dodge like Motoko.
(She wonders if she could dodge if it was herself)
Cleaning the classroom was a humdrum affair. Everyone usually manages to keep things neat and organized and Hamura runs a tight ship, so there usually doesn't end up being much to clean. On the rare times she agreed to do it, Shinobu would quickly become bored out of her skull from the lack of tasks and become eager to return to the inn, where there was always a scuff to buff out or a spill to mop up.
Except now, where she was more than grateful for the lack of tasks, because now it meant she could finally make her move and hopefully gain some progress in solving her current dilemma.
So she pauses from organizing the cabinets and turns to the other occupant of the room, who looked equally as bored as she would have usually been, half heartily wiping down a desk.
Hime Watarui wasn't necessarily a popular girl, but she wasn't obscure either. She was just that shy of "pretty enough" that it got boys's eyes to linger longer than usual while enough girls took a double take to see if they could get a small glimpse into what gave the girl her natural sparkle.
However, even with all that said – she was not popular. Because while she was "pretty" and her words were carried with a cute lazy lit and a cheery smile, her rather blunt mannerisms were all that was needed to shatter the illusion her looks created. For all her beauty, the girl was just incapable of verbal tact, and it was the sole thing that kept her one step away from holding the title of class diva.
It was for that reason (aside from her natural shyness of course), that Shinobu never really interacted with her in the classroom proper. Today, however, was not a time where she could afford that shield. She only had (six days) so much time left to come up with a solution to being permanently evicted from the Hinata, and with the others at a standstill and Mitsune's apparent betrayal, she had little choice but to explore other means getting the answer she needed.
(After all, isn't it during situations like this that an honest opinion is the most helpful?)
"Um, Watarui-san," Shinobu began, tugging at the edge of her skirt "C-can I, ah, ask you something? You know, as a thing?"
The blonde turned, curled bob swishing with her "Sure! What's on ya mind~?"
Shinobu looked away, kneading the fabric between her fingers "Let's say...complete hypothetical scenario – you and your friends got into a fight with another friend." she began "And even though you didn't do anything, the other friend stopped talking to you or letting you hang out with them, and now the only way to fix things is to apologize."
She waits for a reaction, and Watarui just nods and motions for her to continue "But the thing is, your other friends don't want to apologize, because they feel they haven't done anything wrong, and because of that they don't want you to either." She takes a brief pause to breath out "In fact, if you went to apologize now, you're sure your other friends will hate you forever and see you as a traitor – something one of your other other friend's did and you haven't told anyone but you know they're going to figure it out eventually and you can't imagine what she was thinking – pulling a stunt like that behind everyone's backs when she knows how you all feel, how much it hurts you that you can't apologize to the other friend's face and she just went and...and snuck off (like a little weasel) while you all were worrying about her and you sat there worrying that you had wasted your chance and it's too late and it's sucks so much but-"
The other girl quirks a questioning brow at her, and Shinobu manages to stop her rambling enough to take a few breaths before putting herself back on track "But...but you don't want to lose your friendship with the other person, and, and maybe, once you apologize, they'll calm down and forgive everyone else. After all, you guys always got along best out of everyone, a-and they were always nice to you no matter what!"
She claps her hands in front her herself, squeezing her wrist as she asks - "So...what would you do?"
Watarui hummed, inspecting her nails as she leaned back against the desk and digested Shinobu's story. The casualness in which she does this just makes her already rampant anxiety spike up.
Suddenly she starts rummaging through her skirt pockets
"Well, how important is this person you're fighting with~?" she asks, pulling out what looked to be a sticker sheet (one of those fake jewel ones) before lazily picking at one of blue flower gems
"They…." she bit the inside of her cheek "They're someone who helped me-um, you become who you am right now. You can't even begin imagining where you'd be without them."
After all, it was thanks to Senpai that she gained the courage to stand up to her parents, to start conversing with her classmates (even if she didn't do it much still, it was a vast improvement from back then), to become bolder and more assured of herself.
And now without him (because of him), it felt that first year all over again – retreating into her shell and flinching at every shadow, her heart always feeling like it's moments away from leaping out of her chest and leaving her to bleed out on the floor. Honestly thinking about how quickly she crumbled once he let go of her made her feel rather (no – absolutely) pathetic.
"And how important is not apologizing~?"
She tugs at one of her sleeves "Not very," Shinobu mumbles, thinking back to her notebook, still sitting in her bag while buried under her notes and school supplies "At least, you don't think so..."
Watarui nods, pressing the fake jewel to her index fingernail "Then I'd say apologize." she says bluntly, smiling in satisfaction to herself as she looked over the gem and pink polish reflecting in the setting sun "Seems like the easier option~."
She can't help but briefly choke on the lump forming as she replied "B-but what about your other friends? They're still..."
Watarui's usually upbeat face turned frustrated as she frowned, lower lip jutting out "Look, lets throw out this whole "your" stuff for a moment, okay~? It's getting super~ confusing."
Shinobu opened and closed her mouth for a bit before nodding jerkily, and the other girl sat up
"This friend's, like, major important to you right? So much that not apologizing is just plain sucking for you~?" she asks, and Shinobu nodded again "Then just apologize and then get everyone else to. I mean, it's not worth everyone feeling crummy if the answer's that simple, right~?"
Shinobu changes to tugging on her bangs now. She...had a point. In fact, she had already thought that way in the first place. The only reason no one was moving forward was because they didn't want to have to take the first step, because if they apologized, would be admitting they were wrong, require actually listening to her, putting someone else's feelings first for a change-
"Plus, and don't take this the wrong way or anything~," the blonde suddenly adds, causing Shinobu to remember she was supposed to be paying her attention "You said you didn't do anything to make them mad, but...the way you were talking about it kind of says different. Like, whatever happened is super~ eating you up inside and stuff. If you feel that bad about what you guys did, just say you're sorry~."
The accusation (even if it wasn't meant as one), needles at her sorely "But you-" Watarui's eyes go lidded at her and she stumbles on the recovery "But I...didn't really do anything – I never did anything to him. If anything, I was the only one there who went out of the way to be nice to him!"
Everyone had been so convinced on that first day that he was nothing but trouble, but she had seen different, experienced different! He could have been awful to her, taken advantaged of her at any time that they were alone - but he didn't. Instead, he helped her in ways she didn't know possible. He was the only man she ever felt comfortable to smile at! The only one she was able to be friendly with without forcing it! Out of all the men in her life, he was the first one she could build up the courage to be kind to without fear!
(No matter what happened, no matter how bad things could get between him and the others, she never, ever would do anything to make him speak to her the way he had that day)
At this, rather than responding, Watarui got up to grab the broom, sweeping along the floor despite there being nothing really left to sweep. While she had chosen her specifically for her nonchalantness, it was admittedly starting to get a little irritating.
"If anyone needs to apologize, it's the others!" she continued, annoyance seeping into her words, "All of them are the ones being stubborn and not realizing how badly they hurt his feelings! Always being so awful to him without any reason or because they thought I was-" she near bites her tongue with how fast she tried to stop "I mean if they just...sucked it in a little and agreed to go meet with him, we could finally get something done about all this! But instead, everyone wants to be petty and drag their heels – and now their dragging me with them because they think – no, they've convinced themself it's helping me when it's actually doing the exact opposite, like always!"
Watarui must of noticed this, because she pauses and tilts her head, waiting to see if Shinobu had more to say before she finally asks –
"And?"
Shinbou blinked, staring at her bright brown eyes blankly "...And?"
"And?" Watarui repeats, leaning against the broom "If the rest don't want to apologize that much – why does it matter to you? Just go do it yourself then~." then tilts her head the other way "I mean, you're the only one who wants to apologize, right~?"
Despite the heaters still working at full power, Shinobu feels a chill go right through her "I-i can't," she stuttered, heart stumbling "I...It wouldn't be right to just go behind everyone backs like that. Besides, I don't have anything to apologize for anyways."
"Then why are you complaining then?" her classmate asks, tilting her head again while batting her lashes. They're surprisingly thick, to her astonishment, to the point she almost misses the peach eyeshadow painting her eyelids. While their school isn't too strict on makeup and the like, it's still discouraged, so it's a shock she even managed to get away with all that.
"I-i just don't think there'd be a point!" she decides to insist, feeling sweaty despite the cold filling her "The others are the ones being uncooperative in first place, so they need to apologize first! I shouldn't have to go do it just because they want to be bullheaded."
Watarui bats her eyes again "Are you sure? It kind of just sounds like you just want an excuse not to apologize~."
The comment cuts deep with its casual utterance and causes her to sputter, feeling near offended (she briefly wondered if this was how Naru usually felt all the time when one of them contradicted her)
"O-of course not! If I had something to apologize for, I would!" More than that, she'd prostrate herself before him, hands and knees, if she ever found herself doing something as egregious as hurting her beloved senpai. To cause her first love and dear savior that kind of pain was near blasphemous, not something a simple apology could ever wipe away.
Which made the current situation so hurtful because not once in the 3 years since his arrival had she done anything to warrant being treated like this, let alone apologize for!
"Then don't." Watarui states bluntly with a shrug "If you didn't do anything wrong, then you have nothing to get worked up over~. Besides, someone who's, like, that petty that they'd be a jerk to you for stuff you didn't do isn't worth worrying about. Live your life and forget about'em~."
Shinobu falters a bit at that. Sure, she thought senpai was being unfair what with lumping her in with everyone else, but... "It's...not like that..." she tries to protest, feeling that earlier energizing frustration ebb away. "It...h-he hasn't acted badly enough to do that..."
"But you just said you didn't do anything to make'im mad at you, yet he's still being a dick~? That doesn't sound like someone who's isn't 'bad'~."
She should have focused on the second half of the sentence but all she can think of is that first line, because, because-
("I don't have to do anything for her.")
"Senpai doesn't hate me!"
Watarui blinks slowly "I didn't, like, say that though." then frowns "Do you think he hates you~?"
Her head began to hurt, and she scratched at it "I mean, I don't think they…he never...we haven't…."
Suddenly, Watarui's out of her spot and a few inches away from Shinobu's face, brown eyes boring into her blue ones
"Well which is it then~?" she ask, drawing out the last word "Do you need to, like, apologize or not~?"
She feels herself start to shake, still unable to answer properly. She wasn't wrong, she wasn't, but that didn't mean she was right! She should apologize, yes (but not because she needed to. It was just the right thing to do), but that couldn't happen unless Naru and the others agreed to do so too. But they won't because it's not like they'll be in trouble without the Inn, unlike her, with her temporary lodging at Seta's that'll only last for how much longer. They have money they can fall back on when the going gets tough and parents that don't devolve into screaming infants when the other's name's mentioned – stop, focus! The other girls need to apologize for whatever it is that got Senpai angry enough to kick them out, because they won't, don't you see? You really think it'll be that simple? That those people who have their heads so far up Naru's ass it's a surprise they knows the time of day still, are going to "humble" themselves so you can have a roof over your head again? Do you think they even still care about that – it's all about winning now! About beating Senpai and proving themselves superior!
Oh, but maybe once you're all down to 3 hours till you're all homeless, they'll listen to your suggestions, or that little list you never finished? I mean, they barely listen to you on a good day, but maybe it'll be different when you're all sitting in cardboard boxes praying it won't rain tomorrow?
And why – because you don't want to "hurt" them? That it'll be a "betrayal"? That you don't want to like Mitsune, who clearly saw a sinking ship for what it was and grabbed the nearest life boat?
Because you still think Senpai's going to show up and rescue you again, just like all the other times? A person who doesn't care about us anymore, who ended up being just like mom and dad – using you in their fucking messed up spats because it doesn't matter if you get hurt, because your feeling's don't matter until someone needs to make an insult, or an accusation, or they just want to get one last emotional sucker punch in. What? You thought things changed? That they would get better, will be alright once Senpai realizes how you feel and comes to get you like last time? But he won't, he's never going to! And do you know why – because you haven't done anything except sit there and cry, and that's all you're going to do! You'll just stand there in the corner, waiting for everyone to stop yelling so you can offer the hotpot you made and have them stuff their faces and pretend you're all a nice, happy family while forgetting the broken china and the turned over dresser in the corner. Because that's how it always is – just waiting till someone comes and saves you from whatever mess you stumble in on!
(You keep saying everyone's wasting time – but you're wasting the most.)
Suddenly Shinobu feels unsure, and uncomfortable, and confused and dizzy and angry and cold and and and and and-
"IT'S NOT FAIR!" she snaps, and Watarui is forced back "For years – years, I was always nice to him! Always polite to him! Always stood up for him! Always trying to get the others to forgive him or give him so slack! Even after him and Naru-Senpai got together, I put aside my feelings and congratulated them, even though it hurt so much! When Kanako showed up, I did everything I could to keep her from tearing the two of them apart! I made him food, I helped him with chores, I reminded him to not go overboard studying! I was the perfect girl to him in every way I could be, better than his damned girlfriend even, just for maybe the slight chance that he'd finally look my way! Out of everyone there, I was the only one to actually try and treat him like a human being!"
There's a small part of her that realizes how unhinged she sounds right now, that if Naru and the others heard her they'd likely be just as disgusted with her as she herself felt at the moment – listen to how audacious this little brat is, thinking herself so important. Look at her acting so entitled to the heart of a man already spoken for, like she has the right, acting like she's the tragic heroine of a play when all she is was a 2-bit background character who got lucky enough to cross into the lovers spotlight a few times and thought she might have had a chance once the diva got forced to bow out.
"I did everything I could for him, and then-" a stray sob trips her tongue "And then he just...goes and says 'I don't have to do anything for her'. Just acted and treated me like...like I was a complete stranger, like all those years of everything we've been through together didn't mean anything anymore! And for what?! Because he decides now of all times to be tired of the others not being able to behave like normal human beings for ten minutes? Because he decides now that doesn't want to deal with us anymore! Because Naru would rather we waste time trying to blame everyone else for getting kicked out and waiting for senpai to 'give up' instead of just being an adult for once and admitting she's screwed us! Because no one wants to admit they might have done something wrong and somehow all of that is my fault – and why? Why is it my fault? Why should I be held responsible for the fact that four of my roommates can't act like decent people? Why is it I have to lose my home and the only chance with the one man I'm in love with because of shit other people did, because no one at the Inn can think of anyone but themselves, because my parents are so self-centered that they can't even put aside how much they hate each other to actually be concerned for me – it's not fair!"
And then with her entire heart out in the open, bleeding and mournful, Shinobu cried. She cried and cried and cried. Cried harder than when she heard her parents were divorcing, harder than when she spent her first year away from home at the Hinata, harder than when she realized she left her favorite pencil case behind on the bus she rode leaving and would never get it back, harder than the day she realized her feeling for Keitaro were no long simply just an innocent kohai's admiration. She cried until her voice became horse and her eyes stung and her uniform front was drenched in her own tears.
"It's...it's just not fair..."
She cried and cried and cried until she couldn't anymore.
And then Watarui left, and Shinobu couldn't blame her because she likely didn't feel comfortable with the flood gates she opened and frankly – Shinobu would have done the same in her shoes.
(Disgusting – utterly despicable. Look at you forcing your baggage on a poor third party just because you can't cope. You really are like them aren't you?)
Then suddenly, minutes later, she comes back with her bag and a juice can in hand.
"It's super warm – so, like, sorry~." she says, tossing it to her without further warning. It bouncing in her hands a bit before being captured properly.
(And as warned, it is warm. Disgustingly so to the very last drop.)
"I...don't really know what to say about all that junk from before," she states, twisting a piece of hair around her finger awkwardly "But like I said, it's honestly pretty crappy of this dude or those other jerks to make you feel that way. You should just, like, forget'em~."
"It doesn't matter." she croaks out weakly, weakly wiping her eyes "I can't do anything about it."
"That's not true." Watarui says with a shake of her blonde head, tapping her hands together "There's, like, plenty of stuff you can do to get back at'im – like cut your hair, or dye it~, or get a makeover, or tell him you're dating a hunky foreign model from, like, Switzerland~? Y'know, little stuff."
Shinobu shakes her head, and the girl frowns before she pulls her to one of the desks, tapping it a few times before pointing at the former's hands. Hesitantly, the brunette brings them up to the top as Watarui rummages through her bag again until she pulls out a paper and a vial of mint green nailpolish
"Isn't that against school rules?" Shinobu asks, and Watarui snorts a bit inelegantly as she twists it open
"Yeah. You gonna tattle on me~?" she asks back, and Shinobu just dips her head as the paper is slid under her hand and her fingers are spread out on the table before the blonde goes to work.
"Y'know, I was really~ surprised and everything." Watarui mumbled partway through, "I didn't expect you to be the type to have, like, guy troubles and stuff~."
Shinobu blinks "Really?"
"Yeah. You always seemed like you'd, like, have one of the quiet relationships – the type where you two don't say stuff to each other but, like, still get along really well~."
Unable to really respond to that, she just quietly hums in vague acknowledgment of the comment while the other girl blew on her hands.
By the time she finished, all ten of her fingernails were covered in bright mint green, glowing in the light of the setting sun.
Shinobu can't help but feel like crying again.
"Do you not like color?" Watarui asked, frowning slightly, and Shinobu hiccups a bit before carefully rubbing the tears away from her eyes with the heels of her palm.
"I-it's not that," she sniffled "I just...I-it's really pretty. Thank you so much."
Her classmate beamed slightly before rummaging through her bag "Oh, did you want a sticker too~?" and holds out the sheet she had brought out before, but Shinobu shook her head.
The blonde shrugs and puts all her things away into her bag, and Shinobu decides to follow her lead. Once they make sure that there's nothing left to do in the classroom, the two head out the door.
"Make sure to be careful washing your hands," Watarui warns, adjusting her bag strape "I didn't have sealant, so it'll flake and stuff~."
Shinobu nodded, and with that, the other girl left, her bag trinkets jiggling the entire way until she and they vanished down the hall.
And then, once her heart had settled and her tear stains had dried, Shinobu left too.
Once the chaos had settled, Naru asks if anyone had seen Mitsune, and Shinobu simply shrugs
Shinobu stops briefly, staring at her fingernails. The glow of the street lamps has caused the mint green polish to turn almost milky-looking, but it's still strangely pretty to look at.
("I mean, it's not worth everyone feeling crummy if the answer's that simple, right~?")
"Shinobu, hurry up!" Su calls from ahead "Seta and Sarah are waiting!"
She's snapped out of her trance and hurries over, slowing down once she and Su are now side by side. The other girl seems to have recovered from their latest meeting, which ended like all the others – reaffirmed determination to see Senpai's plan to bring new residents to the dorm fail without any actual realistic means to bring such pursuits to fruition. Without Haruka, there was no one to really act as a voice of reason (Shinobu had tried before, but her presence was too weak to act as any kind of barrier), and Mitsune's absence alongside Motoko's sluggishness had deprived Naru of a proper sounding board. They were coming up on four days now, and after that there would be three. At this rate-
"Hey Su?"
Su turns to her, beaming brightly as her stickler blush glowed under the moonlight "Yeah."
Shinobu can't help but turn her head away babysteps, babysteps "After we get back to Seta's, there's...something I want to talk about with everyone."
The Molmolian girl hums in confusion at her "Can't we talk about it now."
Her throat is threatening to seize up, and she can feel herself wanting to say "Nevermind", to forget about it but she can't, not now! If she doesn't go through with it she'll never escape.
She takes a sharp breath "No, it...it has to be told with everyone present."
Su still doesn't understand, but that doesn't matter, she didn't have to.
(No one had to)
Seta's home comes in sight in the distance and Shinobu already begin fishing for her keys when the front door opens, whiping her head up to see Seta standing there, expression near unreadable.
"You're back late."
Su stiffens and she's halfway to getting ready to apologize when he steps aside "Nevermind, I need to talk to you two for a bit."
She furrows her brows and the two exchange looks before heading inside, carefully toeing off their shoes. They follow Seta into the living room, where Sarah's already seated, looking rather antsy. She doesn't even give Shinobu a hello as she slid into the space next to her, right across from Seta, while Su sit at her left
"What's wrong?" She asks, and Seta seems to tense even more while Su fidgets. She feels she should be more worried about what that look on his face is about, but she just felt...ambivalent really. Maybe that conversation back at school had drained her more than expected.
"I tried talking to Kei…Urashima-san on Friday." he confesses, and only then does the unease in Shinobu's heart decide to reannounce itself – especially when hearing Seta use his family name rather than "partner". "About rescinding the eviction, or at least agreeing to be Sarah's temporary caretaker again."
She and Su exchange glances while Sarah folds in on herself, and Seta seems to sigh when he notices, "When we talked, he said some things that were...concerning." he leans into the table, pulling of his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. "And when I asked Sarah if these things were true, the answers I got were even more worrisome than that."
Sarah refuses to make eye contact with either of them when they turn to face her, and especially doesn't meet Seta's gaze when he sighs again.
"So I'm going to ask you two, and I want absolute honesty..."
He pauses, and suddenly, Shinobu feels that Seta looks too old. He always some kind of youthful charm to him, a face that only matched half his life experience, just like his attitude - but now suddenly he looks like he's aged an entire decade in the single minute he stopped speaking, and it's so chilling that she almost misses his question-
"What exactly happened at the Hinata while Sarah was there?"
Shinobu lays alone in her room, staring at the ceiling
("What do you want to know?")
And then she shuts her eyes.
[4 days left until the end of Winter term of Tokyo U]
Hey, new chapter is finally out!
Super sorry it took so long - but I really just...really wanted Shinobu's break down to be 1)Well-Written, 2)Fitting for the story, and 3)Not come off like I'm insulting/clapping back at the people in the comments sections who complained about Shinobu getting kicked out too. I understand I can't make everyone happy, and I certainly can't/won't expect everyone to like my writing decision. Just how the cookie crumbles I guess. I just really wanted to write Shinobu having a break down and going feral in a way canon never really let her actual do.
But yeah, let's talk Shinobu - out of all the Hinata girls, she's, fandom-wise, the favorite. She treats Keitaro well, doesn't hit/insult him, gets along with him, actually shares some hobbies with him, and is all in all just pleasant to read and talk about. Outside of her age (which I've seen a lot of fics address either via timeskip or just straight up making her older), she's frankly considered the least objectionable in regards to the romance angle next to Mutsumi.
Which is why I went this direction with her, because frankly, when you take away all that, you kind of realize Shinobu...relies so heavily on her relationship with Keitaro for her mental health and overall stability, and that's not really a healthy way to do a relationship. Yeah, he's the guy who always comes to save her, who helped take her away from the terrible situation with her parents, who arranged a party for her when everyone forgot her birthday, who helps her study, who's always there for her no matter what. She relies on him when she feels down, when she's anxious, when she's having problems with her parents, school, whatever - and while that's a good thing to do for someone you care about, when they're constantly coming to you specifically for every little thing that goes wrong in life, it creates a huge imbalance. I mean, it wasn't good when Keitaro and Naru put the entire stock of their personal happiness onto getting into Tokyo U/the childhood promise, and it definitely isn't good for Shinobu to do the same here with Keitaro himself.
There's also the whole "Doesn't stand up for him even when she knows it's a misunderstanding" thing. Shinobu's always kind to him, yes, but not really in the ways that help him with Naru and the other residents being out for his blood because they're convinced he's peeping on them. In the end, she always just waits for the misunderstanding to clear itself or just...doesn't do anything about it. Shinobu, for all the growth she did throughout the manga, remained very passive in the end regarding everything from her feeling for Keitaro to letting herself get roped into the group's schemes. Even in the epilogue, she's still waiting and wanting for her chance to become Keitaro's girlfriend, even though him and Naru got married. She just...waits for things to get better/go her way.
Except now she has to because waiting for things to get cleared up and not doing anything has actually consequences now. A situation like this, where she has to not only deal with Keitaro now longing thinking of her well, but also have to act on it, is her nightmare scenario because she isn't sure she's mentally strong enough to even deal with the idea of either Keitaro disliking her or the idea of being anywhere besides the Hinata. It's basically the inverse of Naru's problem - Shinobu's so deeply, painfully aware of her feelings and the issues at hand that Keitaro just up and cutting her from his life has sent her into a depression spiral and she's only just now floundering back onto land and realizing just how much reliance she put on Keitaro's existence in keeping herself happy. Now it's just a question of where she decides to go with it
Well, thanks for reading, see you next chapter