She found the place horrible. The contrast between the beautiful scenery and the danger lurking from every corner made her feel constant tense. The view was beautiful. Mountains in the distance had snowy caps. She was admiring the trees and flowers all around the base when all hell broke for the first time. A group of soldiers encountered fire – if you can call it that. The following hours were intense, and she found she had detached herself of sorts from where she was and what she was doing. There was no other way to tackle this. Like when Charlie died – she knew couldn't think of it now.
In truth – she was shocked and too numb to realize it. The gaze from the wounded's faces. The horror of the pain gave their faces an ethereal look she was unable to take in, and she felt something stiffen inside her. Charles's face came to mind – she so hoped that for him it was different, but she couldn't shake the thought of her beloved soulmate in pain.
One of the paramedics she was assigned with fainted once. At that she snapped and reproached the lot, becoming instantly the manager of the group "There is no time for him, leave him be and help me with the wounded" she muttered "When he comes through tell him not to return if he is not fit for it. I'm not gonna' waste my time on Lilly livered paramedics." The word spread – she was 'a green-eyed monster' for the paramedics and the answer to the prayers of the groups coming back from the field. The head doctor of the camp gave her more authority than any other paramedic. She hated the place but as she was, she couldn't avoid becoming all work. It was stronger than her. And, of course, she was avoiding him.
Weeks after the first encounter she gave him a cold cheek if she bumped into him, trying to avoid him at all cost. Even when he had come to gather details regarding his own soldiers, she'd referred him almost rudely to the doctor – "I don't have time for you. Dr. Mead and his assistance will do that." He, who was used to getting all he wanted, whether on account of his rank or his charm, should have found her irritating but for some odd reason her grumpiness was endearing.
He kept coming. His subordinates admired him. The women too. Only she would not give him the time of day. He had heard of them quite often in the passing weeks. The charming widow and her smiling sister-in-law became the talk of the camp. Melanie became famous for her kindness and patience and Scarlett for her efficiency. The girls hated Scarlett. A regular flirt and tease, as Belle huffed when he asked her. He'd tease her and she'd fume, with little sarcastic remarks. Small barbs to make the woman who haunted his mind and soul three years become anything but indifferent. He loved the fire he stirred in her eyes.
She was in the common room with Melanie on a rare evening they had off. Scarlett was gazing aimlessly ahead, and Melanie who saw it couldn't help but wonder where her friend's thoughts were-
"A penny for your thoughts?" she asked smiling and pulled on Scarlett's long braid.
"Ouch! Stop it!" Scarlett huffed "Nothing in particular. I'm counting the days. I hate it here. Thank Heathen it's only for three months. I'm going crazy."
"What would you do if we were home right now?" she knew better than to play 'make believe' with Scarlett, but she was tempted.
"After showering Wade?" the other one answered dryly.
"Make believe I'm home and I showered him and even put him to bed. What would you be doing?"
Scarlett closed her eyes and smiled a rare smile "I'd dance. I'd put on music from the radio and just dance to whatever tune there was."
"There's a red-cross dance today. Let's go!" Melanie didn't wait for approval and grabbed Scarlett's hand, "There's a girl named Sophia I'd like to meet, and she said she'd be there."
Indeed, Sophia and bunch of other women Melanie seemed to have associated with were there, but there was also music, and she found herself moving to the bit. Melanie observed her from the side and decided to challenge her "I can dance like Charlie, you know?"
Scarlett wrinkled her nose "I don't dance with girls, but since we're here, I'll make an exception."
"You don't need to be so gracious about it" Melanie laughed lightly, and indeed she took the lead. For someone so small as she was, taking the male lead wasn't trivial, nevertheless she did it with grace, and Scarlett forgot herself for a short while. When the music broke, she noticed they were stared at, she moved quickly to the bar and whispered to Melanie to go to her friends.
He arrived late and saw her from his corner. After sending her sister-in-law aside she sat at the bar on a stool, her eyes were following the couples on the floor with Yet when men approached her and tried to sway her to the dancefloor she refused.
"Don't you like dancing, Scarlett?"
She was startled at his voice and moved with unease - "Oh, you're here."
"Why do I get the feeling that you aren't happy to see me?" he chuckled.
"Because evidently you are not terribly stupid."
"What's the matter, Scarlett? Has that one encounter left such a bad taste? I thought you knew what you were doing."
She tried to move but he caught her arm "Let me go."
"Please answer me" his tone was earnest.
She breathed deeply and scowled "You've been acting like a four year old whenever you were next to me, and suddenly you're asking?"
"Have I really?"
She couldn't help herself but smile. He had a special presence and she had to really work hard to remain aloof and unpleasant in his company. She decided to push him off with a part of the truth saying "If I said it was Catholic guilt, you'd understand?" Her heart was pounding really fast. She couldn't explain it to him. What would she say?
His brows came up comically "You aren't kidding, are you? No. By the looks of it you aren't. You must have done it before though-"
The music changed 'Twisting by the pool' She breathed deeply again "Haven't heard this one since high-school" she smiled and her hands sort of clicked to the bit thus avoiding his question.
He took hold of her hand "Dance with me."
"Are you up to this?" she laughed nervously.
After a few dances she was laughing "Haven't danced this much since ever so long"
"You're amazing. Most women get confused on the first twirl."
"Don't flatter yourself. Charlie and I won several national dance contests since I was 14 and he was 17."
"Charlie?"
"My late husband. Melanie's older brother."
"You knew him from childhood."
She blinked and smiled forcefully "You could say that."
"When did he pass away?"
"A bit over two years ago. We were married only two months."
"So the scene I was witness to, was?"
"Hard to explain. I wasn't with Charles at the time. You could say we were on and off at times."
"So the Catholic guilt was because of that?"
"No. But please-" he realized that she was in real despair.
"I'm sorry. I was being insensitive about your husband."
"He was my BFF since I was seven or eight years old." After a pause she added "What's with the DJ and this music, it's taking me back to school-" Romeo and Juliet was playing.
He took her in his arms without talking. After a while he said quietly "I don't often make love to stranger young women either. Religion has nothing to do with this, but I tried to find you three months after, when I was home again. You disappeared."
She raised her head to him disbelieving "I tried to find you. I left you messages a few times. I have a friend who was with you at the time - Frank Kennedy - and he swore he left my messages with your secretary but- Doesn't matter."
"Belle-" He sighed "I'm sorry. She's a friend who tends to get overly possessive."
"Don't you have a child with her?"
He looked at her from above with a displeased look "So the tongues travel?"
"I don't gossip" she turned to leave him but he stopped her –
"I don't have children. He's Belle's." He had a distant look on his face.
Suddenly she wanted to cry, but she couldn't let him see. She turned abruptly and left for the restrooms. She took her time to gather herself, and expected he'd be gone when she returned, or she'd slip out unnoticed, but he was there, watching the door like a hawk. With a swiftness in contrast to his huge body he approached her again with a cherry coke in his hand.
She couldn't help herself but smile "How I missed this".
He smiled - "How come you had a child so fast?"
"Wade wasn't planned. Charlie was very happy about him, but I was supposed to go to med-school. We both wanted him. He's a great kid. I don't like babies so much but I miss him terribly. Sometimes I think this whole adventure is one huge mistake."
She stumbled and became quiet.
"Would you like to come with me to my quarters?" he asked quietly "We are not in a subordination relationship."
She looked at him cautiously "I don't think it's a good idea. I know that 3 years ago I left a different impression, but I don't do that. You were - an exception of sorts."
"I admire such few inhibitions. You say you aren't that way?"
"I don't know" she muttered. It embarrassed her to think of herself in such a way. What could she tell him?
He gave her a long look. She turned to leave, but he held her for a millisecond and that was enough. She kissed him, or was it he who kissed her? He was holding her gently.
"Oh, God, what am I doing?" she mumbled.
He shrugged, his hand went up to his hair, "I kept thinking of you"
In his quarters she became shy again, but he didn't seem to notice. He had cans of Coke, and she smiled "Have you cherry-coke?"
"Yuck, no!"
She laughed "I love it. Well, at least you found me one from the bar."
He smiled and his hand played with her hair, releasing it from its' ponytail.
"You look like a schoolgirl"
"Not anymore" she mumbled, moving her face from him. Suddenly she panicked "Listen, I don't use any pills, maybe I should…"
"Are you against condoms?" he asked quietly.
"No, I'm not that religious, only you didn't-"
He smiled "Is that your way of retreat? I have condoms, but if you're having second thoughts, it's fine."
"Hum, no, I-"
"Would you like to see some satellite TV?"
All thoughts flew out of her head - "Wow! you have one!" Once again she looked like a child "I miss television like crazy."
"What do you like?"
"Oh, you'd laugh."
"Do tell"
"Promise not to laugh? Beverly hills 90210, and Seinfeld."
"Wow, talk about diversity!"
She found herself in his arms a few hours later - a sleep - the television had gone blank.
He had a special smell. A bit like her father's. She liked it. She reached to him. He was in his underwear, she was with her clothes on. He'd let her sleep as she was. She squirmed a bit and he spoke sleepily "I didn't want to undress you, but feel free, or I can dress up in a minute and escort you back to your quarters."
She didn't want to leave. She was silent but it woke him up, he touched her gently
- Do you want to sleep?
She was still.
He got up and went to the small kettle he had in the corner of the room - "I'll fix us something."
She was behind him and touched his arm hesitantly. He turned around and saw her hesitance. His face showed his chronic lack of sleep. Her presence had something magnetic –
"Could we just talk? I mean, I don't know, I mean, you must think me —" she stuttered.
She was married, but he had to know "Have you been with men since your husband's demise?"
She shook her head and shut her eyes. She heard him breath, "and it's been two years?"
She felt her nerve leave her "I suppose it's silly, and you probably want to sleep, and –"
He stopped her by raising her chin to him "Will you answer honestly if I ask you a question?"
"Maybe?"
She was about to answer yes, but then she decided to be a bit more truthful than her usual self.
"If it's just a maybe, I'll pass. Tell me, how'd you win this reputation you acquired in less than a month? All the girls but your relative hate you, men surround you, and yet you're toying with them all."
She sat on the bed and raised her legs up, and took a shot of what he handed her. She didn't bother asking what was in the small glass. She reconned it was Tequila or Vodka "It's how things always were for me. Girls don't like me and I don't like them, except for Melly, but she's my chosen sister, and men – I usually just played. Most of the time I was Charlie's cover, for his other lovers."
She yawned.
"Other lovers?" he puzzled.
"Yes." But she would not elaborate.
" Yet, you married?"
"I was pregnant. So he married me. I was supposed to go to med school after he was born, but Charlie died after two months. He didn't even get to see Wade. Let's not talk of me, tell me something about yourself. How'd you get to become a captain."
He sat back and smiled "By chance? I suppose that's the answer for your story and for mine as well."
"Did you wanna leave home? I wanted to, Ma was dead against me studying medicine, she is old-school. She wanted me to marry money and raise a family."
"How come you got here?"
"I went to nursing school instead, with Melanie and it was her idea. She wanted me to sign up for eight months, but we settled for three. I have a boy."
He couldn't explain to himself how he had passed that night and every night afterwards night after night with Scarlett, without actual intercourse, nonetheless with her snuggled to him at the end of each evening.