"Have a nice day Miss Blacks and Mr Blacks," Dumbledore said, assisting two ladies and a boy with webbed legs, plus a tail, on electric scooters. "Your scheduels will be given to you at breakfast at the Great Hall. And take a lemon drop on your way out." Dumbledore held out three lemon drops. Andromeda rolled out of left his office awkwardly, next to her sister Bellatrix and cousin Regalus. Andromeda didn't mind Regalus as much as her older sister, Bella. She awkwardly slithered down the stairs, after getting off the scooter and shrinking it. Bellatrix and Regalus were slithering down the stairs, behind her after doing the same.
The gargoyle statue moved aside and all three of them slithered down the staircase, out of the gargoyle. Sirius black was passing by on his scooter, with James and the other marauders behind him. "Blimey, the whole b'witchering school in Scottland is transferring to Hogwarts!" James cried.
"Dromeda? Reggie? Bella?" he asked.
The three merpeople unshrunk their scooters and got back on. "I decided to transfer to Hogwarts," Andromeda said. "And they joined me to follow me."
"We're 2% of the Teargem School of B'witchery and Wizardly-craft population," Regalus replied. "We're one of the only purebloods there. Less than 2."
"Why did you decide to transfer now?" Sirius asked.
"My bloodtraitor sister has dirt-legged, mudblood b'witcher boyfriend, Edward Tonks," Bellatrix sneered. "She was just disowned!"
"Blimey language!" James said.
"Let's introduce that muggleborn to Lily," Peter suggested.
Bellatrix sneered. "Dear, sweet Meda transferred from the Teargem school to get away from us. And we came to keep an eye on her."
"Why do you want to keep an eye on her if she's disowned?" Sirius demanded.
"Are you questioning your family Sirius?" Bellatrix demanded. "You already disgraced your family. Are you going to be a blood traitor like Meda too? Gonna raise Meda one and get with a dirt-land mudblood?"
"Jeez Bella, stop using foul slurs at us!" James scolded Bellatrix.
She whipped her wand out. "Or what ickle Potty?"
"Or I'll send you to the nile river," James replied.
"We'll also get you kicked out before you even reply," Peter piped up.
Bellatrix rounded on Peter but for his credit he stood his ground. Remus stood in front of Peter. "I will inform the headmaster who is just behind that statue if you don't stop Bellatrix," Remus warned.
Bellatrix glanced at the statue then growled. She seemed to realize it wasn't worth starting something with the greatest warlock of the 20th century behind that gargoyle statue. "You can't escape me," she leaned into Andromeda. "By not subscribing to the Dark Lord you made a huge mistake. You and your dirt mudblood are on my radar, sis."
She stalked off, shoving past Regalus, Andromeda, and Sirius. Everyone let out a breath they didn't now they were holding. "Cissa says she'll calm down once you're never seen like Uncle Alphred, Meda" Regalus said. "You will come around, then they'll un-disown you. Cissa says the only reason Uncle Alphred isn't disowned is because we're waiting for him to come around. Then everything will be back to how it was before."
Andromeda gave her a tight smile. Sirius wasn't so sure Narcissa's optimism was right. Uncle Alphred didn't give three flying pigs about the Blacks. The only reason he wasn't disowned was because he didn't marry a muggleborn or merperson or water troll. And Sirius' uncle was too proud to admit his own brother shamed the family.
Regalus wasn't really assured by Narcissa' optimism either by his face. "How long have you been here?" Sirius asked his brother and cousins, changing the topic.
"We were just sorted in the Headmaster's office," Regalus said, looking anxious.
"What house did you get?" Sirius asked.
"Bella got Slytherin, Meda got Ravenclaw and I'm... I'm," Regalus replied.
"What house were you put in, Reggie," Sirius coaxed.
"I'm... I'm Gryffindor," Regalus whispered.
Sirius choked on the drink he was sipping on, that he nicked from the kitchen. "What?"
"Mum and dad are going to be so mad," Regalus whispered.
"With their golden boy? Not even possible! We'll just say I was a bad influence," Sirius replied, throwing an arm around him. "They'll forbid you from joining me during vacations and order Bellatrix to spy on you. Nothing new. She's already been told to stalk all of us."
Regalus relaxed. "You're right, I just hope they're not too angry."
"I'm surprised none of you know you can hear howlers better in pumpkin juice," James said.
"Pardon?" Regalus asked.
"So you've never lived in pumpkin juice before?" James asked.
"Don't mind James, he was living in a pumpkin for the first five years," Remus replied.
"Pardon?" Regalus asked.
"I'll explain," Sirius threw an arm around James and Regalus, giving a lopsided grin, leading them to the Great Hall.
No one noticed a wizardess hidden in a suit of armor, eavesdropping with concentration.
The first few weeks after the other Blacks joined were uneventful. An owl swooped down on the side of the table, where the mauraders and the Black brothers sat. "Blimey mate why is that owl is wet?" James gasped.
The other boys looked up. "Oh shit," Sirius said. "That's the owl my mum borrows. Her pet Dabberblimp meets the owl at the surface to take or give the mail."
The owl bomb angrily dived into Sirius' oatmeal while clutching the red envelope. The owl stepped out of Sirius' oatmeal the shook its wet feathers. Wet oatmeal sprayed on all the boys. The owl dropped the red, smocking envelope in Sirius' porriage.
"That owl has god taste, oatmeal or oatmilk is a good choice of liquid to listen to some howler music in," James mused. The owl hungrily nibbled on the french toast Regalus offered, not sparing his fingers, before flying off.
The mauraders decided dunking Sirius or Regalus' heads in oatmilk at the great hall would lose them points taken away. Simply for being too gross early in the morning.
They grabbed the howler and ran off, with Regalus following them. Once they were outside they conjured a kiddie pool of oatmilk. They pushed Regalus in. "The fck," Regalus exclaimed as he fell face first into the oatmilk liquid.
"Dunk your head under the oatmilk with the howler," Sirius said as the other boys climbed into the pool.
Regalus reluctantly laid face down on the kiddie pool with the howler in his hand. The other boys also laid face down in the pool. The howler started smoking under water.
Then a booming voice could be heard along the noises under oatmilk liquid. "Bad influence on Reggie. I could never trust you to guide him, since the day he was born!"
"Merlin knows what what will happen him being stuck with you and your hooligan friends. Thank Merlin Bellatrix is there make sure he becomes a proper young b'witcher!"
"It really does sound more clear under oatmilk juice," Regalus spoke with his head under the oatmilk. He had to sit up to breathe every now and then, like the wizards. Then he sat up as the howler turned to ashes.
"Dear mum always remembers me even when you displease her," Sirius said. "Dear, senile mum forgot we're not the same people, we only have one relationship even though her husband is her cousin."
"Your parents are cousins mate? How do you really look mate?" James asked.
"Like a simp, just like everyone else," Sirius replied.
"Yea really simpish," Regalus nodded.
"Have you ever tried living in a lake of juice?" James asked. "It's definitely than your parents' marriage."
"The same reason you don't in helium or air with humidity from kiwis?" Regalus replied, drily. "there isn't enough dissolved oxygen in liquid besides water."
"Mate, he doesn't need helium," Sirius said. "He's already annoying enough."
"Might make him sound tolerable," Severus snarked, walking up to Regalus.
"Might make you look tolerable," James replied, Sirius nodding behind him.
"Might make you stop losing your house points everytime you're not in class," Snape retorted.
James and Sirius were about to hex him but Remus stopped them..
Severus rolled his eyes but turned to Regalus. "Do you have your potion notes?"
"Yeah, is Rab joining us?" Regalus asked.
"I don't see why you seek out Bella's brother-in-law," Sirius said. "Don't you see Bella enough?"
She had no idea Bella's daughter was always around them.
"He's the only other b'witcher here," Regalus replied. "Even if he is a the Slytherin boys club president."
"Are you aware he transferred here to keep an eye on us for Dolph and Bella," Sirius asked. "Bella is graduating next year and she doesn't trust you to stay in line or spy on us."
"I know," Regalus replied. "But he's a simp and so easy to fool. If Cissa wasn't still at Teargem simping after Malfoy, she'd solve the Rab problem by batting her eyelashes."
"Why don't you find him a girlfriend?" Severus asked.
"Rab told me most of witches and wizardesses aren't like Cissa," Regalus said. "Viola Bulstrode and Crystal Parkison are too loud and violent for him. He also says they harass him."
"He hasn't seen Cissa fight Meda for the bewitchering wireless network," Sirius muttered.
Sirius went to his transfiguration class with James for the afternoon. James was whispering to him when Sirius suddenly couldn't reply. Luckily Daphine thought it was a good idea to keep Elphy in his satchel after giving Elphy shrinking potion. Sirius pulled out the book.
"What's that mate?" James tried to peer closer at the book.
Sirius started tracing the page, frantically. "Nothing it's just a Black heirloom, useless," a slightly high pitch voice answered.
"Mate what happened to your voice? And why do you have that with you?" James asked.
Sirius traced the page again. "Just trying to put the crappy Black heirloom to good use."
"Why do you keep tracing it?" Peter asked.
"It increases my concentration, the book remembers my surface thoughts," Elphy replied.
"Sounds dangerous mate," James said. "You shouldn't use that thing if it has its own mind. Especially if it's your family heirloom."
"Mate I know, but it's kind of safe I've grown up with it. I can throw it in fiendyfire if it tries to kill me in my sleep or something," Elphy replied. "It's tried less than Bella and mum."
"As long as you know what you're using mate," James turned to his notes.
Sirius was able get through his classes by using the book. Elphy turned the book invisible for him so the teachers wouldn't ask him any questions. Sirius made sure to stay quiet in the other classes so the teacher didn't call him out. This way he could use the book to tell Elphy to cast the spell with his wand, and no one payed close attention to him. Most of the time Elphy would know to cast the spell without being asked.
The mauraders asked him why he was quiet during classes but he just told them he was keeping a low profile in classes so Bella didn't have any excuse to hound him. They bought the answer. After Potions Sirius ran off himself to the library to escape the mauraders.