Some present, some past, and some in between. Hope you like this rather odd writing - with me jumping from deferent times in her life and story. I'm not creating too much tension regarding the fact the Rhett is indeed the father of all her children, as far as she's concerned.

"Scarlett? Have you regretted your choices after we came home?"

"Marrying Frank?"

"Not having an abortion."

"I never regretted Ella."

"A few years ago Sue blurted something about Frank not being able to pull it up for her while being as virile as can be for your sake. One night in the sack with you, were her words to be precise. But I knew you couldn't have been with him even that one night."

"Poor Frank."

"If you don't feel compassion for yourself how can you be so compassionate to others? I've often wondered about that, with you."

Her mother was dead. Her father had sank to severe depression. Most of the time he suffered from hallucinations. She began working in medical equipment distribution.

She had no choice. She had a toddler, she had her father and two sisters and at that time she had also had a pregnant and bed ridden Melanie since the Wilkes's had lost their fortune and Ashley's army salary was too tight.

She was happy to see Frank that day, after a long day on the rode, feeling her lower back and inflated feet. The weather was unbearable.

-Are you leaving so soon Frank?

-I'm afraid I am.

Something in the man's eyes made her shake off her own thoughts for the first time in weeks.

-Are you all right? Would you like me to fix you some coffee before you go?

He sat with her half the night telling her of his coming mission, of his injury and its' results and of her sister's reluctance to adjust to his disability.

-She wants to break up with you because of your impotency?

He became red as beet.

-I'm sorry, Frank, for my bluntness. But why should she mind that? You can still have fertilization and there are other ways to please her, and you too…

Now it was her turn to become red

But her embarrassment flew off the window and she cursed quietly when a wave of nausea threatened to overcome her.

-Are you all right?

She looked at him and began laughing hysterically "You became impotent on account of the Taliban and I became pregnant, do you grasp the irony? Together we make perfection."

She told him. It was the only time she talked of Rhett and of the rape that followed.

"So, you're not going to abort?"

"No."

"Because of your religious belief?"

"Is it silly? I made a pact with God." Her eyes were cast down,

"That soldier you made love to? Won't you tell me who it was?"

"It was the same Captain Butler you brought to the last party at Twelve Oaks."

He turned serious.

"Scarlett, it isn't for me to ask, but after that party I had the impression you had something with him. Then you eloped with Charlie, so I figured I was wrong."

She was done crying, she lifted her ever so green eyes and gave him a piercing look.

"Never doubt your instincts, Frank, Wade came out with my mother's eyes, so we told everyone it was Charlie's. Charlie was gay and he never wanted to handle his family. He was three years older than me and already had his fair share of male lovers . We were so close since we were kids. He wanted Wade, no less than me. He knew that coming to the army married will also ease his path and cause less suspicions regarding his sexual preferences"

"So Wade is Rhett's? And you met him when you volunteered with the red cross ?"

"You can imagine my surprise two years later to have him as the Captain of the regiment the red cross lent me to. He remembered. At first it was some sort of game. But he'd come and we'd talk. Not being his subordinate it was Okay, I think. But we weren't lovers, well, not until nearly the end when-"

Frank wiped the treacherous tears that began flowing again down her cheeks "So you made a pact with God to keep the father of your child safe, and he might be the father of your other child, and it never occured to you that he might want to know that he has a son?"

"Frank- he would have wanted me to abort. Instead, I got my son and Charlie got his son and cover story. We made a deal that whomever of us meets his or her soulmate we should part amicably. He wanted to be Wade's dad. I think he was more maternal than me."

He had a sad look again.

"Is it because of Sue? Would you like me to talk some sense to her?"

"No. It's what it is. I think she has someone. She was talking about the hardship of waiting for months while all her friends were dating in college."

"As if someone would date her…"

"I dated her."

"You're blind to her nastiness. Always were"

"She took my heart."

"Frank, there'll be others. You are smart and kind-" again she became green with nausea "Shit! I forgot to eat and now I'm paying for it."

"That's insane. Who forgets to eat? Come, you put my troubles into proportion. Let's go eat something."

During the meal - he asked her "How old did Rhett think you were at the barbeque?"

"Twenty two."

"Scarlett! you're not 22 now!"

"I know that. But he didn't, and as far as I know he still doesn't."

"So you're going to have this child as well?" A thought formed in his head.

12 hours later in the depot she was holding his hand -

"Must you go?"

"I agreed to go back up after my conversation with Sue. They don't have enough men of my kind" - A man with the Persian look of his mother and ability to blend to invisibility.

"Can't you -"

" After this mission there will be another, and I don't intend to stop unless they make me. Send me a picture when the child arrives and give her my mother's name Elaheh." She never managed to say the name right, but it didn't matter.

"Her?"

He smiled and boarded the train.

She yelled "What does the name mean?"

"Like a goddess".

"He gave me his name for Ella's sake."

"She looks like your father, but after Sue's words I was sure she was Rhett's. I thought you too."

-Ella is Frank's. For all eternity she is Frank's. Rhett is the only father she knows. Yet, he never offered to adopt her. I think he was jealous.

"And Wade?"

"Wade what?"

"I came running to Charlie in the morning after that first time with Rhett. He made me feel good about it. He asked for details regarding the size of his dick!" she began laughing "He could be so gruesome! He analysed the tearing of my virginity and said that in other places it hurts more! He made me feel good about it, for some odd reason I wasn't ashamed. And when I found I was pregnant he started kissing my belly, knowing fully well I wouldn't abort, saying it was a gift from heaven for otherwise I'd never marry him. He was such a ray of light"

Charlie was her real BFF. He found her in some picnic away from the girls and ignored by the boys who were her playmates forever till they all became too macho for little girls. He took pity on her at first and agreed to play with her, letting her win the tree climbing contest. It became a regular thing. She went as his date for his prom, making all the nasty boys jealous with her flirty fashion.

"After his prom Tony asked me if you and Charlie actually slept together. Since you were always sleeping over I said you were. I thought you were. You fooled everyone."

"He never slept over at my place. My mom thought I was coming to you, and when he said he was sleeping at my place he was actually with his lovers. There was a time when I was 15 that he had someone rather old for us - 22 years old. He seemed ancient. We would go out as a threesome and they'd drop me home."

"It's a shame he never told me. I could have told him that I love both genders."

"I'm not sure he would have wanted to know of your many diviances, Mell"

The pale woman laughed.

"During these past 15 years I've had more than twenty but less than sixty men and women all together."

"You counted them?!" she asked incredulously.

"During radiations I had to keep still so it amused me to think of that. And to think of all the fire that you took when in fact you had been with one man."

Scarlett shrugged "It's just as well. I'm not such a good fuck, Mell."

"Have you gone to that retreat I sent you for a weekend?"

"I hated it! Women I don't know massaging my organs and all those smelly candles for ambience"

"Did you at least try to masterbate?"

Scarlett blushed "It's boring to touch myself, Mell. Before the incident I was fine, and after - there was that one time with Rhett that was crazy, and I had an orgasm with Rhett the last time, so I'm not sure I need this."

Melanie roared laughing "One orgasm and you're satisfied? It can come in multiplication, like a train on a chain of many orgasmes. Please use the little wandI gave you. At least that."

She blushed.

"You're using it!" She smiled and relaxed. "Why didn't you tell Rhett he's the father?"

"How could I. He'd hate me even more." Scarlett swallowed "When we married and he was so good with Wade and Ella, after I got pregnant with Bonny I was going to offer that he adopt both my children and if he'd agree I was going to tell him. I did tell him something vague about Wade, that he wasn't Charlie's and that Charlie recognized him for my sake. He knew we had that sex. He knew the dates. I couldn't figure why he wouldn't add two and two, and in our case it was two and two to the day. Than, I heard him talk to his sister about how being pregnant with his child was exhilarating, that he loved my children but they weren't his, no matter how much he loved them. They went on and on about blood and I realized that if he knew I deprived him of his fatherhood he'd hate me, probably leave me, sue me and God knows what else. When things got complicated I was scared he'd take them away from me, declare me an unfit mother."

"Honey you were 16 and 19, and you did what you could for the kids. With Ella it was your pact with God, wasn't it?"

"That and the hope that she was his."

When Rhett returned she was gone without a note or a trace. He wondered if it was his leaving her that made her go without living a note.

Eighteen months later he arrived at the Grand Hotel that was in fact rather shabby to give the special lieutenant Kennedy his mission, he found him dining with her and the beautiful red haired baby. They made a lovely family

"Rhett! How'd you know I was here?"

The way she jumped from the chair and held his hands made him wonder. The jealousy hit him like a huge wave. He didn't know this was the wife Kennedy hardly spoke of. He knew she was the sister of his actual sweetheart, but nothing more. When Kennedy returned about a year before he seemed mournful. He realized he had married only through the documents Kennedy gave regarding changes in his last will. He smiled at the man -

"Finally married? I told you she wouldn't mind the injury."

"She minded. I married her sister." turned his head and left.

From that day hence he kept volunteering to the worse missions. Being married it was not questioned as it would have, had he been single.

It was a short encounter. Rather awkward. Frank seemed amused.

"How old is your baby, Kennedy?"

"Ella is 9 months, Cap'"

Frank took the papers and gave Scarlett a peck on her cheek. She smiled at him adoringly "You'll see us before we head back?"

"Sure. Keep my room for me. Cap' Scar' is sure as hell happy to see you. Be nice if you kept her company with me having to scoot in such short notice"

Frank never spoke in such slang. "Frank?!" she raised her eyes questioning but he winked and left light stepped.

"My dear Mrs. Kennedy. It's been a while."

"Oh, Rhett, do sit down and don't you go Mrs. Kennedy on me. How have you been. I wondered-" she became quiet "I never heard from you but I knew you came back safely."

"You disappeared off the face of the earth. Again."

"Hardly. I left you a note and phoned a couple of times leaving you messages. Were your secretaries remiss in giving it to you? Told you she had a thing for you. This still doesn't explain why you never phoned or looked for me."

His face grew dark and serious, but she ignored it -

"My mom died so I had to catch the first flight. Melly was half dead and Brent-" she choked "My baby sister's sweetheart".

"So you married your other sister's sweetheart? I wonder if it's a serial matter with you, loving your sibling's men?"

She looked at him with tired eyes. All the light that radiated from her disappeared.

"With Ashley it was a misunderstanding, I can't tell you the whole thing, I was a child Rhett, and if you weren't so nasty I'd tell you about Brent and Frank too. It's not what it seems. You ought to know by now that it never is with me. "

She stood and took the baby.

She began leaving but she turned and gave him a piercing gaze "Was the last conversation we had so scary? Don't ask questions if you can't handle the answers, Rhett."

He noticed her back shiver before she disappeared at the corner of the room, and he realized he had made her cry.

He couldn't remember their last conversation. What did she mean?

The next 48 hours he was mainly marching in the headquarters like a caged lion. Smoking chains of local cheap cigarettes. Cursing himself.

He cherished the moments with her. When he first saw her in the base more than a year before, she was like a dream come-true. He never could forget the young fierce woman he had made love to right before his leave. He had never felt this way before. He was surprised to learn that she was widowed two years before.

But there was something innocent about her. Even there, in the midst of hell, he sometimes couldn't figure how she had gotten to be sent here with her obvious lack of experience. Nevertheless she was GOOD. She was calm, efficient and could do the work of ten with a grumpy resilience that made all the military doctors fight for her and it made him appreciate and admire her greatly.

He was surprised when she ignored his obvious physical interest, and yet seemed to want to spend time with him after a few weeks of obvious attempts to avoid him. He'd rail her and bait her constantly. Enjoying the fire that came out of her so easily. She couldn't really avoid him since he made her his target.

But once again she had gone after a short intimate encounter, and he couldn't decipher if it had meant so little to her or maybe not? He had thought that after 18 months he'd be over her. But the green eyes haunted him. Even the little baby who had received most of her mother's features except the red headedness. It must be her side or Frank's father's side. Why did that baby bother him so much? In some odd way she reminded him of his baby-sister when she was born. One of the few times he was able to meet his mom in secret with the baby. She had had a child with her first husband too.

She was everything he wasn't. He had thought. Yet, she was so like him.

48 hours later she came rushing down to the lobby with Ella in her arms. The small disc with Frank's ID was dangling from the chain in his hand and she noticed.

The pang he felt was unexplained to himself when she broke down in front of him crying for another man. She kept crying for hours. Despite the sedatives. He stayed - he couldn't leave her side.

As soon as she woke she broke again "just like poor Charlie." her sobs were uncontrollable. It didn't make any sense. "What will I tel nana-Elhala?"

"Whom?" he woke from his reverie

"Frank's mom. Ella is named both after her and my mom - Ellen. Where is my baby?" she jumped "How long have I been like this? I need to take her home."

But she had to stay. For two long weeks she waited till they found his body. Mutilated as only the worst of the worse would be.

She was about to leave again. He couldn't help but look for her and in a moment of pure insanity, or so he thought, he had asked her to marry him. She wanted to tell him things. To explain. He didn't want to hear. He kissed her to oblivion, and she held to him for dear life. He wasn't the marrying kind.

Was Kennedy?

A.N. - The poem I referred to in the previous chapter is Such, Such is Death

BY CHARLES HAMILTON SORLEY

Such, such is Death: no triumph: no defeat:

Only an empty pail, a slate rubbed clean,

A merciful putting away of what has been.

And this we know: Death is not Life, effete,

Life crushed, the broken pail. We who have seen

So marvellous things know well the end not yet.

Victor and vanquished are a-one in death:

Coward and brave: friend, foe. Ghosts do not say,

"Come, what was your record when you drew breath?"

But a big blot has hid each yesterday

So poor, so manifestly incomplete.

And your bright Promise, withered long and sped,

Is touched, stirs, rises, opens and grows sweet

And blossoms and is you, when you are dead.