Title: Dinner
Universe: Practice Advice
Genre: Romance and Humor
Summary: How could her mother allow her to be driven home by a stranger?

A/n: The second part to this (Itachi's part) is still in a cupboard somewhere…assuming it didn't get deleted when I had to reset my pc to factory condition… Thank you for all of those who have reviewed and please enjoy the second 'chapter' of Practice Advice.

Did he have to stare at her over dinner? It appeared so. The amazing thing was, even though she appeared to be his sole attention, he was able to answer all of her mother's date questions (about his job, morals, family issues), and he was still able to eat his food without looking at it.

She now knew that when Sasuke meant 'Perfect Aniki' he meant 'Psycho Alien.' She paused in her thoughts, and then covered her lips with her napkin as she smiled at her wit.

The man's posture was freakish. Everything he did looked like it was done by an etiquette master. He had an evil grin too that only appeared to grow larger the angrier she got. She learned quickly that her growling at him over the table or saying anything at all made him smile. So she had shut up and just sat there, getting angrier and internally screaming. If there was one thing she hated it was someone watching her eat. Nothing made her more self-conscious. It was like screaming 'Eat pink piggy! Eat!' at her.

The only good thing was she didn't have to talk to him; her mother was taking care of it. His dark eyes gleamed over the table as he stuck his fork in the last piece of his chicken linguine. Oh, it looked just as delicious as her pesto spaghetti and she hated chicken. She was starving. She wanted to eat. But he was still staring at her.

Her mother gave a laugh as if the man just said the funniest thing in the world; and if he had, she had missed it in her stomachs distress.

"I think I'm going to grab a quick drink before we go," her mother announced getting up. Another drink was another way of saying she was going to the bar to find the most expensive liquor. She hoped that whatever her mom bought would hurt the man before her.

"I'm sorry you're not hungry, maybe it's the food; do you want something else?" he asked innocently enough.

"No, having people stare at me tends to make me lose my appetite," she replied. It was really a lie. Mentally she refused to eat; her stomach still wanted her to shove it into her mouth.

"Really?" his hands were now positioned under his chin; he leaned forward as if to intensify his stare.

She didn't, no; she wouldn't give him a vocal answer. She instead settled for rubbing the top of her nose with her middle finger.

His dark eyes narrowed to slits as if challenged.

Sakura could see her mom walking back to her seat, draining a shot glass at the same time. She caught the waitress's attention and motioned for a box. The waitress took off. The hazel eyes of her mom looked angry.

"Well, thank you very much for the night Itachi. It was an absolute pleasure to eat dinner with you," her mom smiled as though nothing was the matter, although the waitress might have given it away with the amount of speed she shoved the black folder at Itachi.

Itachi slid his card in the black folder and handed it back to the waitress and extended the white, take-home box to Sakura as if not noticing the waitress's oddity. "The pleasure was mine. Are you sure you don't want dessert?"

Tsunade bit her lip and looked at Sakura. Her eyes seemed to sear a hole through the rather large forehead. Uh-oh Sakura quickly retracted her middle finger.

"No, I think we're good. Thank you for the offer though," the smile was back as Tsunade turned to Itachi.

"Ma'am, would you mind if I drove Sakura back? Its old fashion, but I would like to walk her to the door," Itachi asked.

Sakura could feel all the blood leave her face. Being stuck in a car with the man before her for twenty-minutes while hungry, one of them would die. She tried to speak, but her voice came out hoarse in horror, "No-"

"It would be an opportune moment for you to evaluate my driving ability," Itachi cut Sakura off, the evil smile was already starting, she could see it!

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Tsunade said, taking the white box from Sakura's hands. "But we live about twenty minutes away…"

"The more time to get to know each other," Itachi said looking at Sakura.

"I trust you are a good driver," Tsunade smiled, she pushed Sakura forward, "I'll head out. Take your time-be home by eleven."

No! Sakura's mind screamed as she watched her mom turn her back. Her feet tried to move and stand and follow, but then her sprained foot touched the floor. Sakura dropped right back into her seat, staring, eyes wide with panic. Not only was her only protector leaving her in the arms of a villain, she had stolen her food too.

Itachi retrieved his card from the waitress and then looked at the dazed girl. Slowly, the pink head turned around. The green eyes looked full of anger and the girl looked ready to spit fire, "You willtake me straight home."

Itachi retrieved the crutches from the wall and extended them to the girl. "Will I now? Is that another order?" Itachi asked leaning in close, his smirk growing. He quickly moved to the side as she jabbed at him with one of the crutches.

Itachi gave a bow and then motioned to the door, "Ready to go?"

Sakura's lips twitched but followed the man till they were outside. He turned left and she turned right. There was no way she was getting into a car with a pervert.

Itachi stopped, "Where are you going?"

"Home," Sakura answered without turning around. She might be able to make it by eleven.

She heard footsteps coming closer; she turned around sending out a jab with her crutch.

He easily avoided her stab and walked beside her, "So you want to walk all the way home with me?" he asked.

Sakura froze. "I'm walking all the way home alone!"

"You are rather demanding," Itachi commented.

Why the heck was he still around then? "Then leave me alone," she barked, moving her crutches with more power.

"Are you really going to walk all the way home?"

She looked at him; his eyes were looking ahead though. "No, I plan to skip some of the way."

He turned to her and gave sigh, his head looking down at her crutches. Then he looked her back in the eyes, a smile spreading across his face.

Fear rippled throughout her body… no, oh dear no, what had she done? She just told herself to not answer him, to not be sarcastic, to not talk at all.

"Hmm, walking alone at night with a pretty girl at my side doesn't sound half bad," he winked.

She was going to die…or he was. She swung at him with her right crutch and he grabbed it, pulling it forward so she fell against him. He yanked the crutch out of her hand and then snatched the other one. He tossed them to the side and then stared her down, the smile looking far more upset than happy. "That is going to have to stop, at some point, do you understand?"

She wobbled, trying her hardest to put space between their close bodies. It didn't matter how inviting he looked, there was no way she was going to let the pervert get the best of her. She tried to slug him, but he caught that too.

His hand held onto her outstretched wrist. "I do like your feisty spirit," he said kissing the top of her knuckles.

She tried to pull back but he grabbed her, and he picked her off the ground like she was a flower. He tossed her over his shoulder, and then, as she kicked (with one leg) and screamed, he picked up her crutches.

"You should stop being so uncivilized, you're drawing attention to yourself," he said as he passed a couple in the parking lot, who then started walking on the other side of the street.

"They are going to report you to the police, and they are going to put you in jail," she hissed as she smacked his spine.

Itachi laughed, although there was the grunt of pain at being hit by the young girl, "You know my entire family basically runs the 'force' in this area, and those that aren't family are close friends of my family. You would know that if you'd been paying attention at all to what I was saying at the table. But I'm glad you enjoy looking at me, it would be upsetting if my future wife found me ugly. "

"Look at you? You were staring at me!" She started squirming again after stopping to hear him speak. "Let me go per-"

A beeping noise cut her off. She raised her body up and looked around; the car in front of her had its lights on.

Itachi opened the door with the hand that had the crutches. He slid the crutches from the driver side to the back seat, and then he set the girl on the ground. He grabbed her knee before it could hit him in the groan (again.)

She growled at having her move blocked, in return he smiled, and then picked her up and pushed her into the seat.

"Better move," he said over her squeals as he pulled himself up and into the SUV. She scooted to the right, allowing him to sit in the driver's seat. She moved to the passenger's seat, and was about to open the door.

"Buckle up," he commanded as he turned on the car and hit the gas while on reverse.

She slammed into the side of the window and quickly grappled for the buckle as Itachi started driving down the street.

"Ever heard of a speed limit!" she cried in alarm. The man was going to kill her!

He gave her his evil smirk and then slowed down, "A couple miles over doesn't hurt anyone."

"A couple?" was the man an idiot or a psychopath?

He didn't answer her and instead put his right arm around the back of her seat. "Where do you live?" he asked.

Sakura noted that they were already going in the wrong direction. She scowled at him. The man was an absolute jerk, but genius. If she gave him directions he would be able to find her anytime he wanted, if she stayed silent she would never get home…unless she could plan her escape.

"Sakura," his tone betrayed his amusement and the smile he was wearing wouldn't get him very far.

"Go to hell."

His smile grew, "That must be an interesting place to live and only twenty-minutes away; I didn't know it was so close."

Suddenly the hand that was around the chair was touching her cheek. He turned his gaze from the road and with a wink said, "We could go to my place instead."

Sakura blinked.

"That was being suggestive."

Sakura shrieked swear words and slapped his hand away while crushing herself against the door of the passenger's side. Her whole face felt as though it had been stuck in an oven. The option of jumping out of a moving vehicle was starting to look appealing.

As though reading her mind, the doors of the car clicked and locked.

Her green eyes looked at the man; the smile was almost to his ears.

"Look you dirty son of a – Gurgle-splash-murgle."

Sakura's and Itachi's eyes went to the young girl's stomach. Sakura could feel her face starting to burn, how could her stomach betray her?

The car turned right and Sakura looked up, they were pulling into a fast food restaurant.

He turned to her and raised his eyebrow, "What do you want to eat?"

Sakura sighed; there was no use in denying the obvious. "A burger, no pickles." She wanted to swipe that smile off of his face.

He rolled down the window with the press of a button and repeated her order in his own twisted way. "A number two with no pickles."

"That will be three twenty-two, please pull up to the next window," the male, teenage voice replied through the black box with a bit of static and the sound of food being munched in the background.

The car pulled forward. Itachi handed him a five and took the bag, passing it to Sakura.

"Sakura?" A chubby face shoved its way through the open window of the building and almost through Itachi's car window.

Sakura would have laughed at Itachi's expression as he pressed himself against the seat of the car to avoid the boy's head, but instead Sakura was far more embarrassed. "Hey Choji." She gave a small wave. It was going to be all over school tomorrow that she was dating a guy way older than her.

The dark eyes of the boy flickered between Sakura and Itachi, "Who's your friend?"

"Itachi," Itachi said for himself as he extended his right hand to the boy. The boy took it and gave it a shake. "Are you a close friend of Sakura's?"

Choji tilted his head to the side, and then pulled himself back into the window. He picked up his chip bag and once again leaned out while eating. "Not best friends, but we're part of the Rookie Nine."

"Rookie Nine?"

Sakura wanted to keel over and die.

"Yup," Choji said shoving another handful of chips in his mouth.

"Would that be a club of some sort?" Itachi asked.

Choji smiled, "That was what we called our club when we were in elementary school. It was really just a recess club, but we were totally the cool kids if you know what I mean."

A recess club. How could Choji talk about it and not be embarrassed. Wait. All Itachi knew –

"We played Pokémon, chess, tag and if you did something wrong the punishment was kissing something… What did you get again Sakura? It was a rock and the sap of a tree right? Oh, yes it was. Boy that was so funny!"

That was it. She was officially dead. The amusement on Itachi's face was enough to strike her head off. No doubt she was red as though drenched in blood. Why her?

"What did she do wrong?" Itachi asked.

Choji opened his mouth to answer, but the horn of a car stopped him.

"Some of us want something to eat!" A man cried from behind them.

"Later Sakura, thanks for the tip Itachi," Choji said pulling himself back in.

Itachi raised an eyebrow and drove through. "Can I safely assume you are not going to tell me what you did?"

"Yes."

He sighed and pulled into the first available parking space.

"What are you stopping for?" Sakura asked.

"So you can eat… You seem to yell a lot when I drive. I thought it might be safer to stop and allow you to swallow than to end up having to do the Heimlich maneuver while driving," Itachi said, looking away and out of his window.

"Thanks," she muttered, it seemed like he was going to give her a break for a while.

"Not a problem," he leaned back into his chair, his eyes still out his window.

Bite, chew, swallow, she chanted in her head as she started on her burger. She kept her eyes on him, as if expecting him to turn around and start staring at her.

She noticed he no longer looked so elegant; it was as if the dinner had been a charade. He looked tired and old by the way his shoulders looked weighted; they never looked slumped though, it was as if they were held up by a metal brace.

He looked strangely human, and she was surprised at the fact she found that appealing.

She saw the side of his mouth turn up; he was smiling, probably from something perverted. "What's so amusing?"

His head leaned back her way and he looked down at her, "I was just thinking how people have odd paranoias and fears, like scoptophobia."

"Scoptophobia?"

"The fear of being stared at, like in the case of eating," His lips twisted up in a smirk.

Sakura puffed out her cheeks, "It's not from paranoia or fear."

"Hmm? Really? You seem like the paranioa-type-of-gal; first you thought I was a kidnapper, a pervert and you don't like people watching you eat."

"You are a pervert, and technically you have kidnapped me, I'm being held against my will," Sakura growled, taking a bite out of her burger as if to say she could eat while someone was staring at her.

"But it was not my first intention," his smirk widened.

"Look you were the one that approached me-" she said swallowing the large chunk.

"In a seducing fashion?" he teased, leaning in closer to Sakura.

Sakura's eyes watched the black, smooth eyelashes close and the perfect angled face lean closer to her. Her heart stopped. She watched his lips separate, and then chomp upon the burger in her hand. With her reaction slowed, he was easily able to escape her flinging hand. "Jerk! Jerk, Jerk!"

Now her burger had been poisoned. She dropped it back into the bag and picked up the fries. "Jerk," she said once more for good measure.

He gave a chuckle, but put the car in reverse and backed up (slower than before), and then began to drive not teasing her further.

"Will you allow me to drop you off at home?" he asked. He glanced at her for a second and their eyes met.

She could feel her body warming; she turned to look out her window, still eating fries, "Sure, why not?" He had bought dinner twice and ignored the 'club' thing, and he truly hadn't hurt her. He was just a tease. He probably just liked to freak her out and wasn't at all interested. Pretty, eye-candy, arrogant jerk. "Take a right," she said as they came up to a lighted street.

He didn't turn the vehicle and she looked back over at him. "Orders, orders, orders. Why is it you give so many orders?"

The thought actually made Sakura pause as she considered the question. Why did she give so many orders? She used to think she was a fairly polite girl. When had she… Oh yes.

"Naruto," she answered looking back at Itachi, "doesn't hear anything beginning with a please or a request. "

"Hmm," his coal eyes glanced at her, "Keep in mind I am not Naruto then."

Her lips twitched. The arrogant jerk. She had actually considered the question and all he could say was, 'I'm not Naruto', she wasn't stupid he had black hair and Naruto was blond. His eyes were on the road so she smiled, and flipped him off with the hand on her lap. Already she was feeling better.

"I guess I should make myself clear," Itachi said.

"Huh?"

Immediately her middle finger, which was resting innocently out on her leg, was snatched by his right hand. "I am not Naruto," His coal eyes left the road for two seconds to look at her and then returned. His lips were smiling again, "So don't think you'll get away with anything."

The guy was seriously an alien. There was no way he could have seen her hand, no way.

He dropped her hand. He asked, "So, your house is?"

Sakura sighed, looking at the clock on the headboard. It was getting late. "Please take the next right."

"That's my sweetheart," Itachi teased. His pale fingers reached out and pinched her cheek.

She bit him.

He pulled away.

And she pressed herself against the window, and started swearing.

…

It was going to be a long night.