Prompt: Age Difference ItaSaku – given by Hushnelle approximately a year ago.
Title: Perception
Genre: Romance/Humor
Summary: Prompt: Age Difference. As much as he wanted to confess to the girl on Valentine's Day, she probably thought he was some creepy, old man. And to make matters worse he actually has a creepy, blue man meddling in his affairs. ItaSaku Obvious AU and Fluff.
A/N: I hope everyone has a good Valentine's Day and those, who like me have no 'special someone', have my full permission to gorge on self-bought chocolate. ;) A thank you to Husnelle for the prompt, and for all of those who have been kind enough to leave review.
Please enjoy this Valentine's Day special. - Z.z
He was so upset he was sick. Today was Valentine's Day and there was no doubt in his mind that the girl he'd been crushing on would be approached by the majority of the male population of her school. He wanted her to himself, but he could do nothing.
She was several years his younger, five to be exact, and that wasn't so bad, truly it wasn't. The fact that he looked five plus years his age and she looked younger by three was the problem. This made it difficult for him to approach her, because for all she knew he looked his age. He wasn't ugly, but he didn't look like a college student, and while those his age were entering their senior years at universities, he was also two years into his graduate study. It only added another reason for her to assume he was much older.
He heaved a heavy sigh as he relaxed in his driver's seat. He took his hands off the steering wheel to keep himself from being tense. His eyes looked over at his passenger seat where a thick book full of information for his next test stared back at him. He usually took the time to read, but today he couldn't concentrate. He was too impatient; he had to know what had happened to her at school.
He wanted to ask casually; but he felt if he even spoke, the words would reveal his true intentions. She was perceptive enough to know something was wrong though, just by him not reading when she tapped on the passenger window. He gave another sigh. Why he couldn't he just be normal… or at least look the part? But of course not.
Some of his instructors and most of his fellow colleagues respected him as their equal or elder and he'd long ago given up correcting them. He was twenty-one and yet he'd been invited to drinking functions as early as sixteen by men in their thirties. They'd been businessmen, people whom he'd met when he'd worked for his great uncle. The men had assumed he'd been one of them, not an unpaid intern who was only trying to get sponsorship and a letter of recommendation. When he was eighteen, he tried to buy alcohol as a personal test. The aluminum can and bottle of cheap scotch were then given to his older cousin. Shisui had been curious and had leaned in to sniff his breath, but then the man had simply taken the two containers of alcohol and that had been it. In this world it all came down to perception, not reality. So what did she perceive him as?
If he approached her, there would be no doubt on her course of action. His best friend had pretty much given him the exact words that would come from her mouth. He'd asked Kisame to help him earlier in the day with how to go about asking her out and the man had said to practice… so he did.
"Get away pedophile!" the man in his late thirties had cried in falsetto, yanking his blue, large and gruff hand away as if a disgusting creature stood before him.
He slammed his hand down in frustration, why hadn't he done something earlier? He should have been clear on both his intentions towards her and his age. He should have at least invited her to his birthday party. He hadn't though, and he wouldn't have wanted her around his friends and their poor attempts at trying to get him drunk. He could wait till his next birthday, but he was afraid to.
She was beautiful and he had a feeling that any day she'd bounce on his car, scream "shotgun!" to his younger brother and her other friend, sit beside him and tell him she'd finally met the man of her dreams and that the next day they would marry. Of course, he knew realistically it wouldn't happen like that, but she was more than beautiful; she was intelligent, passionate, caring, industrious, and no sane man would let her go once they had her. They would chain her heart with a ring and she'd be forever theirs. Forever out of his reach. He would be nothing more except her friend's older brother—not even a friend. He cursed himself and rested his head against the steering wheel of the car. Why couldn't he have been born younger… or at least look younger. He didn't though and the stress lines carved on his skin were more pronounced with his new worry about her.
A loud thump made him jerk up his head and turn. Green eyes watched with child interest and he unlocked the doors, hoping the owner of the eyes wouldn't ask what he'd been thinking about. Above all he hated lying, but he'd do anything to be beside her. To just see her, talk to her. She was the type of person who made him feel like a better one than he was.
She didn't say anything though; she hadn't even cried out to get the front seat. She carefully set down her bag in the back and picked up his book with ease, sat down and put the book in her lap. Her eyes looked directly in front of her and she gave no acknowledgement of his presence. She began fidgeting but no noise left her lips, which was beyond abnormal for the chattering girl he'd been watching for far too long without doing anything. Perhaps she was daydreaming about whatever man had confessed his love. He thought she'd be happier though. Maybe she hadn't seen it coming. She was a bit oblivious when it came to herself.
He turned his head and looked out the front window. His brother and the blond headed one were still not in sight. Several moments of silence passed before he looked back over at her, she was still looking out the window as if he didn't exist.
"Are you alright?" he asked, wondering if maybe his brother had said something to upset her. Sasuke was still a no show and he was known to go into hiding if a woman was mad at him. He called it "letting crazy b****es cool off" but it was fairly obvious that the kid was a coward. Maybe she had confessed and had been turned down. But then he almost scoffed at the notion. Who would turn her down?
Her lower lip trembled before she bit it and turned to look at him. She smiled; her lips too tight. Something was definitely wrong. His eyes scanned his peripheral, there was no black or blond. Where was his brother?
"I'm fine. What about you? Did you have a good Valentine's day? I see you got some chocolates and a bear… Did you receive or are you going to give them?" She asked.
"Chocolates?" he heard himself repeating like a dumbfounded cockatoo learning a new word. He hadn't gotten her chocolates. Why hadn't he gotten her chocolates? It was natural for a man to give chocolates to any female on Valentine's Day right? Why hadn't he even thought to do so? How could he be such an idiot? Surely the I.Q. tests were wrong in saying he was genius.
"In the back…" The girl murmured quietly, her eyes looking behind his seat.
He turned and tried to reach for what he couldn't see. Finally his hand gripped something firm and plastic. He pulled it back around, and yes, it was a box of chocolates. He looked at the tag and almost choked on the emotion of surprise. To: The Most Beautiful Woman in Existence, Sakura Haruno. From: Your Soon To Be Husband, Itachi Uchiha.
Nothing rational came to mind. The world suddenly stopped making any sense at all. The possibility of multiple universes became tangible, as another him had finally gotten the guts to do something about the girl before him. He opened the box, as if to somehow see what more the wormhole had in store. He picked up the piece of note paper inside and opened it.
There was no such thing as multiple universes. There was just a Shakespeare quoting Kisame… a soon to be dead Shakespeare quoting Kisame. He pressed his head against the steering wheel. She had almost read this; she could have reached into the back and read it. He would have lost all of his dignity and all chances of even being allowed to drive her home.
"Is she pretty?"
The sound of Sakura's quiet voice made him remember she was still in the car. The question though, caught him off guard.
"Who?" Had he missed something important?
"Is the person who gave you the chocolates pretty?"
"Kisame…pretty?" He raised an eyebrow at the thought and then shivered at the imagery that came from it. The sound of coughing sob stopped him though. He turned, only to see her grabbing for the handle of his car. His left hand hit the lock button immediately and her door wouldn't open. He grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to the center of the car to stop her from further escapes. "What's going on?" He was alarmed now. The girl was always so cheerful; this wasn't her.
She sobbed harder and started talking, but it was impossible to understand anything coming from her mouth. Seeing her like this was making him sick. He didn't know what to do. Was she in pain? Did someone hurt her? Perhaps she hadn't been able to deliver the chocolates to the one she'd been aiming for. While the thought wanted to make him happy, he couldn't bare the look of distress upon her face.
Trying to think of something to help her, he tried giving her a piece of chocolate. Woman liked chocolate, right? His mother popped M&M's when she was stressed. It seemed probable that Sakura would like it too. "Here."
His hand was slapped away, and her green eyes glared from behind puffy lids. "I don't want some other girl's chocolate!"
"Kisame isn't some girl."
"I don't care what her name is!" She pulled away from him, trying get as far away as possible.
He held tighter. If she wasn't crying, he'd be laughing at the misunderstanding. As it was, he was too petrified to make such a joke. "No," he explained, "I mean Kisame really isn't some girl. He's a thirty-five year old man who hasn't stopped playing pranks."
"Man?" The girl froze as if he'd just told her Sasuke was pregnant. "You got chocolates from a man?"
Itachi sighed, not quite sure how to go about explaining Kisame. He obviously couldn't give her the lid to the box or the note, both were incriminating against him.
"You're gay," Sakura's mouth popped open and formed a rather large 'o' as she came to her own conclusion.
He choked on air at the blunt statement and then fear gripped his heart. Not only was he probably a thirty year-old guy in her eyes, but now he was going to be a gay thirty year-old guy… What did he do to deserve this? Had he killed his entire family in a past life? Why would she assume something like that? Moreover, why was Kisame his best-friend?
"No, no, no, no," He quickly emphasized after recovering from choking. "I'm not gay." Was it because he kept his hair long? A lot of people had asked him such in the past. Why hadn't he thought of it before? Not only should he have invited her to his birthday, he should have cut his hair too.
"It was a prank," he tried to clarify.
Her right, beautiful pink eyebrow raised, and the rock in his gut told him that she didn't believe him. Her hand reached out and touched his shoulder, "We're friends; you can tell me…"
They were friends? He immediately felt himself relax at the word. It was one step closer to what he'd been before; it meant he meant something to her. But then the last part of her sentence hit him. The context...
"I am not gay." He was utterly in love with the girl he was trying to make believe that. Why was all of this so frustrating!
She blinked realizing he was being serious. She sighed in relief and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Thank goodness. That would have been a waste."
"Waste?" what would have been a waste?
Her green eyes widened as she knew her tongue had slipped up on something. "Nothing," she smiled too widely, her hand retracting (to his displeasure) to scratch the back of her head. "I meant it would have been a waste to the female population."
That… What was that supposed to mean? "I'm not sure I understand…"
"So is it ok if I have one?" The girl pointed to the box, trying to distract the man from asking about clarification.
"They're yours; Kisame got them for you..." Itachi told her, his voice trailing off as he tried to decipher her cryptic words.
Her head tilted to the side. "Really?" She sounded doubtful.
"Yes," he gave her the bottom of the container, keeping the lid and note. He tried to go over the words in her mind as he didn't quite understand the intention. A genetic waste of procreation, perhaps? Why would she worry about such a thing? His thoughts were cut short though when both of his back doors opened. His brother and the blond-headed one had arrived.
There was the sound of a rustling bag and Itachi turned to look. His brother was holding a grocery tote full of chocolates; they were extended away from him though, as if he couldn't stand the thought of them being near him. Itachi gave a reassuring smile to his scowling brother; he remembered getting that many when he was in school. But now that he thought on it… had his brother received half from men like him, or all from females? He thought his masculinity was well defined, how long he had been so oblivious to how other perceived him.
"Oh, did your girlfriend get you a stuffed bear, Itachi?" Naruto asked, reaching down and picking up the object.
Immediate horror filled Itachi, if it was anything like the chocolates then he was going to die, literally. He tried to snatch the toy, but the kid had already huddled in the back out of his reach.
"To:, " Naruto began to read, thinking it incriminating evidence of 'lovey-dovey' talk; then his smile dropped, "the kid I always complain about to my friends for being too loud, Naruto Who's last name has never been mentioned due to lack of importance. From: the person who wishes it was legal to stuff people in the trunk and duct tape their mouths shut, Itachi Uchiha."
It was the first time Itachi had ever seen Naruto at a loss for words. The boy's mouth hung open, then it shut, then it hung open again. He was going to kill Kisame, slowly and painfully by carving his skin off with a plastic spork.
Sasuke was the first to start chuckling, which then turned to full out laughter. He dropped his bag of goods and took the bear from Naruto. He stilled his laughter to read it again, and then he started snorting and smirking.
Itachi turned to face forward, to drive off while trying to think of a way to fix it, but his eyes looked into glaring green.
"What does mine say?" Sakura looked peeved, a bit more than peeved and Itachi once more wondered why in the world Kisame was his best friend.
"It doesn't matter, they were pranks written by a friend of mine," Itachi slid the carton and message under the seat with his foot, making sure it didn't go too far back.
"Sakura got one too!" Naruto cried, immediately sticking his head in the open middle, "Come on; let us see it!"
Sasuke looked up, almost delighted at the thought of another one of his friends being insulted. "Can we see the box?"
Itachi pulled out, ignoring the three that were now making enough noise to blow out his ears.
"Please!" they chimed in unison as if that would somehow change his mind.
"No."
More noise followed, as they began trying to guess what the message said. By the time they had arrived at his mother's house they were yanking at his hair, begging, complaining. Itachi truly wished he did have rope and duct tape in the back of his car; he also wished he had enough trunk space to fit two (there was no way he'd ever be so rude to Sakura even if she was being just as loud and obnoxious as the boys.)
"Out," He snarled, giving the two in the back a glare that finally got them both to shut up. Slowly, they gathered their things and began to leave.
"Please, can I know?" Sakura asked, fluttering her eye lids and biting her lip.
He thought about it for a moment, he could play it off… maybe. In fact, if she reacted well to it, he could tell her the truth. But then again… What if she didn't? He shook his head; he couldn't let things between them become awkward. He liked her far too much. "No."
She gave a dejected sigh, and her lower lip trembled slightly.
A guilty pit entered Itachi's stomach and he couldn't help but want to reassure her someway. He couldn't hug her, or tell her anything about the note. If he said it wasn't as bad as Naruto's, she'd still wonder why he wouldn't let her read it. Then he'd just get hassled again by the four ears still perked in the back, listening to Sakura and his conversation. Instead he settled for poking her forehead. "Don't worry about it Sakura." He gave a gentle smile, hoping that it came off normal. After all, he had killing intent leaking from his pores and if Kisame had any form of precognition ability he'd be running for the hills.
All three highschoolers gave sighs in unison while getting out of the car. And with a wave goodbye Itachi headed off, forgetting everything except his plan in which to end his so called 'best friend.' Itachi took his time driving, in no rush to get there. A smirk made its way to his lips as he began to scheme. After walking to the door it took tremendous effort to knock like usual, it wouldn't do to give away the game.
"I figured you'd be here sooner or later."
Itachi quickly looked up, staring into black beady eyes that were watching safely behind the screen of a window on the second story.
"Good afterno—,"Itachi began only to notice that the man was staring at him with a knowing smile. The blue skinned man was already aware of what he knew. Itachi's attitude shifted dramatically.
"I am going to torture you to death," Itachi said, his teeth showing and his eyes almost glowing red. "If she had read that note…" Itachi's hand tightened into a fist, and his body trembled as he was unable to go about explaining his worst nightmares and fears.
Kisame then chuckled, "Ah, I figured you'd catch the box before she had a chance to see the lid. I hope you at least offered her the chocolates, poor girl."
Itachi narrowed his eyes and gave his best glare, "I don't find it funny."
Kisame howled with laughter then, looking at Itachi it took him several moments to finally gain control over his laughter. Finally he wiped at his eyes. "You didn't break down my door."
Itachi tried to smile but it felt more like a grimace, "And what anger do I hold against your door?"
Kisame laughed again, more thoroughly than before. "You didn't read the message at the bottom of the box, did you?"
The smile dropped. His fists loosened. The anger died away. The world became blackened. There had been a message at the bottom of the box, the box which was currently in the possession of the only girl in the world that mattered to him. His heart skipped several beats. How long did it take a girl to eat chocolate?
Fire burned through his entire system as his brain tried to function. "What did you write?"
The blue man just laughed.
"Kisame, what did you write!"
Said man shut the window.
Itachi then snapped, slamming the door with his right fist. He thought about breaking down the door, but then there was the thought that maybe he would be able to get the box back from Sakura. He took off, running this time, down the patio and to his car on the side of the street. He fumbled with the keys, and put his car in reverse instead of drive. He felt as if his car couldn't go fast enough and he was hitting every stop light. What had Kisame done?
When he pulled up to his parent's house, he was a mess. He couldn't catch his breath, his hands were literally shaking. He slammed the door of his car with a lot more force than necessary and made his way up to the house.
The door burst open and Sakura stepped out, empty box in hand.
Itachi froze. His black eyes widened as she rushed forward. She looked flushed with anger and by the time she got to him, he thought she was going to hit him and tell him she never wanted to see him again. Instead though, she jumped him, practically leaping into his arms. Her own arms looped around his neck and she clung to him. Then she kissed his cheek and lips. And he kissed back.
When they broke apart, he blurted out the only thought that had been echoing in his mind since he'd left Kisame's house. "What did Kisame write?"
She smiled, her green eyes glimmering with a devilish light. "He said you wanted to ask me to go on a date with you to the movies this Saturday."
His eyes widened; Kisame had asked Sakura to date him? Itachi blushed, trying to form the words to ask the question himself.
He didn't have to though as she reached up and kissed him once again on the lips. "My answer is yes," she told him and then her smile grew wicked, "Mr. Pedophile."
Kisame would die. Die a painful death.