April made Splinter tea, went to his room and knocked on the door, but not getting a reply, she opened the door and entered the bedroom.

"No!" she screamed when she saw his prone body. "No, no, Sensei. Wake up. Please, please. Wake up. You can't be gone. I need you."

She knelt down and checked his pulse. Barely there, but It was something and he was just unconscious. Thank hell, but what if he died?

April knew what she had to do if that happened and she didn't like the thought of it at all.

The topic of burial had come up a few times in the two years she'd known the Hamato family. Splinter had said he wished to be buried in an unmarked grave at the farmhouse, but when she'd spoken to the brothers, their wishes had been different. Leo and Raphael had said they wished to be buried with their dad, but Donnie and Mikey wanted to be cremated and have their ashes scattered in the ocean they'd always desired to visit and never done. Her amazing friends. It was heartrending thinking she would never see any of them again. They'd been the brothers she'd always wanted and Splinter had been the loving dad she'd so badly needed when her own dad had passed when she'd been nine, guiding, loving her and treating her like one of his own. She had no memories of her mom, who'd died giving birth to her.

April carried Splinter to the infirmary.

XXXX

April placed Splinter onto a stretcher, hooked him up to an IV, pulled up a chair by the bed and waited. That was all she could do. He'd either make it or not and if he didn't….She didn't want to think about it.

She thought about how much he meant to her. Her wedding was a week away and she'd hoped he'd walk her down the aisle at the farmhouse. She and Casey had wanted a civil service at the court house first. Raphael had been Casey's best man and the others had helped her with planning the reception. Mikey had been in his element, as he helped her decide on the menu and test various cakes he'd baked.

The Turtles' faces flashed before her. Leo's kind and patient smile, Raphael's smirk, especially when he bested Leo, which wasn't that often, Mikey's huge grin and Donnie's angelic smile, which never wavered. Leo had often been her confidante and she'd trusted him implicitly. She hadn't spent much time with Raphael, because she'd always been a bit scared of his temper, but she loved him all the same and knew he'd do anything for her, even if it meant sacrificing his life to save hers. She'd loved discussing science with Donnie and building gadgets and she'd spent endless hours cooking and baking with Mikey, whose cheery nature never failed to make her smile, even when she'd had a crappy day.

Then then there was her adored Casey, who'd also gone searching for Raphael. He was probably also dead, so she was alone. Alone with her thoughts and memories. Casey had been her rock and her anchor through many times. How she'd loved him and she knew he'd loved her. Now he was probably rotting in the middle of nowhere, his corpse unlikely to be found.

She was two months along with their first child, a fact she and Casey hadn't wanted to tell anyone yet until she'd passed her first trimester, but she had no doubt they'd have all been elated with the news. Mikey would have immediately started rambling about building a nursery at the lair for when they visited with the baby and about baby names. Leo would have beamed and quietly congratulated them. Raphael would have thumped Casey on the back, congratulated them and probably suggested a cigar to celebrate, which would have annoyed Leo, because he was anti-stimulants. Donnie would have been over the moon too. There'd have been a huge celebration and the brothers would have been doubly excited when they learned they were the godfathers of the new little being. There would also have been a tinge of sadness, because the brothers knew that this was the closest that they would ever get to fatherhood. None of them would ever have families of their own.

April had no doubt they'd all have been excellent dads, even gruff Raphael, because he was really just a sweetheart underneath his tough exterior. She'd seen how loving he was with his brothers. It was so unfair that Fate denied them that and now Fate had caused them to die.

She would teach her baby about their dad and about their heroic godfathers and she would try to be as good a parent as Splinter and her own dad had been.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, as she studied Splinter. He had to make it, because she needed him more than ever. She needed his strength, his wisdom, his love. How was she supposed to cope on her own?

Her mind drifted to when Casey had popped the question.

FLASHBACK: AUGUST 16

It was late summer and she and Casey had gone for a stroll along the beach that afternoon. Now they were making their way back to their car.

Casey suddenly pulled out a small box from his jacket, dropped to his knees, opened the box, which contained a blue sapphire ring and said, "April, I've never been good with words and I'm struggling now, so don't expect the best proposal in the world. All I know is that you bring out the best in me, I love you more than anything, we're good for one another and I can't and don't want to imagine a life without you. Will you marry me? I promise to love and cherish you all my life. Just say yes, because my knees are killing me!"
April fell to her knees, tears in her eyes and said, "I will, baby. I love you too."
Casey slipped the ring onto her ring finger, beamed and said, "It suits you. My grandmother would have been so proud to see you wear her ring. I'm the happiest guy ever! Yahoo. I can't believe we're engaged!"
"Let's seal it with a kiss," April said and kissed him tenderly. "I'm so happy I could burst. Dad would have loved you, Case. You're the most fantastic guy and I'm glad you're mine. I promise to love you and honor you my whole life."

They kissed again and stood up.

"I have to call Raph," Casey said. "He'll be over the moon! He's been bitching at me for months to pop the question. I think he was more excited than me when I told him I was going to take the plunge. He'll be best man of course at the wedding. Is Leo going to be matron of honor? He acts like a mother hen."
"Very funny, Case," April said and laughed. "Come on. Let's get some ice cream and call the guys."

XXXX

The brothers had been thrilled when they'd learned about the engagement, Mikey keen to throw the best engagement party ever, which would include a macaron tower, but April couldn't help hearing a tint of sadness in Raphael's voice, although he was trying hard to disguise it.

Casey and April visited the brothers the next day and were talking to Raphael, while everyone else was preparing snacks for their pals in the kitchen.

"Raph, are you okay?" April had asked. "You sounded miserable last night."
"I'm fine. Really stoked for ya guys. Gonna be the best engagement party and weddin' ever."
"You sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. Hey. Do ya think everyone's got a soulmate?"

"Yeah," Casey said. "I didn't buy that shit before, but then I met Ape and she's definitely mine. Have faith, bud. Hey. Maybe Leo's yours. Ever think about that? You guys fight like no tomorrow, but you have immense love and respect for one another. Plus, all that sexual tension you guys have. I wish you guys would jump one another already!"
"AIN'T TRUE!" Raphael snarled, his green eyes flashing, as he clenched his fists. "Take that back, Case. He's just my brother. Gross and he's so up his own ass. Why would I want him? Can ya imagine us as a couple? It'd be hell. Neither of us backin' down and constant fightin'."
"I'm just messing. Easy, Raph, but would Leo be such a bad choice? You aren't bio brothers and you fight now. It wouldn't be anything new and you could have makeup sex," Casey said, his eyes glinting mischievously.
"Watch yer fuckin' mouth," Raphael growled. "Unless ya want my fists in it. He's just my brother and I ain't fuckin' gay! I like chicks. I watch porn of chicks. Honestly, how could ya even think I'd want Leo?"
"Whoa, man. I'm sorry. I was just playing around."
"Don't. I'm goin' out! Ya know better than ta fuck with me 'bout stuff like that. I mean, Leo. Seriously, man, he's the last guy I would want. Perhaps I would want ya, huh, if I was gay? Why not? We get on extremely well and got tons in common."
"That's not funny, Raph!" Casey said heatedly.
"Neither is the 'joke' 'bout Leo."

Raphael stormed out of the lair.

"Nice going, Case," April said and sighed. "You're lucky the others didn't hear you. Leo wouldn't have been amused either."
"But you have to admit he and Leo do have chemistry. I see it. They'd be good for one another. I don't think it would be a bad thing if they hooked up."
"Me either, but others wouldn't be so accepting. Drop it. Here are the others."

XXXX

FLASHBACK: SEPTEMBER 20

"Hon, I haven't been well for some time," April said, as she and Casey tucked into a takeaway Chinese in the living room. "I know why. I'm pregnant."
Casey swallowed hard, blinked and said, "W-what?"
"Yeah. I got a pregnancy test from the drugstore. I know we said we'd wait a few years, but life doesn't always happen that way. Anyway, it was blue, Case. I understand if you don't want it. Life is crazy right now. My college, your job and….."
"This is the most amazing news ever," Casey said, his eyes shining with happiness, a huge grin spreading across his face, as he pumped the air in jubilation. "I'm going to be a dad. Yahoo. Oh, babe," he said and reached over and planted a kiss on her lips. "I can't wait to tell Raph."
"So you're on board?" April asked, her heart swelling with love for her fiancé. She'd wondered how to broach the subject and though he was an amazing partner, she'd been a bit worried he wouldn't be receptive to the news. They were engaged yes, but their life was pretty hectic at the moment and a little one would only complicate things more.
"Hell yeah! When are you due? What gender is it? When can I start buying him things?"
"Him? Casey, I don't even know how far along I am," April said, amused by his eagerness. "We won't know the gender until I'm at least four months along and as for Raph, I'd prefer if you waited until I'm past the first trimester. Please."
"Fine. Whatever you want," Casey said and beamed. "Oh, Ape. I'm so thrilled. I just hope I'll be a great dad. You know I didn't exactly have the best role model."
"You'll be more than fine. The mold stops with you, babe. I know you'll be an amazing dad."
"I hope so. The guys will be delighted. They'll be the kid's godfathers. I have no doubt the baby will be thoroughly spoiled by them. This calls for a celebration. Let's go out tomorrow to a really fancy restaurant. That French one you've pestered me for months to go to."
"You hate dressing up."
"Yeah, but it's worth it seeing how happy you are and truthfully, I don't care what gender we have. All I want is for them to be healthy and happy. I'm so ecstatic I could burst and I want to scream it from the rooftop."
"Better not. Our neighbors will complain."
"I don't give a shit," Casey said and kissed her deeply. "I'm on cloud nine. Thank you, babe," he added and kissed her again.

XXXXXX

BACK IN THE PRESENT: NOVEMBER 25

April shed tears again and thought, Casey was so looking forward to be a dad. It's so damn unfair he'll never get that chance.

A recent memory of her trying on her wedding dress on October 10 flashed in her mind. Naturally, Casey was forbidden from seeing it, but she'd allowed the others to see it.

"Wow," Donnie had said in awe. "April, you're stunning. I love the dress."
"You're so gorgeous," Mikey had said approvingly. "Man, Casey's such a lucky guy."

"Ya clean up good," Raphael said and smiled, though she could have sworn she saw a tear in the corner of his eyes. Why? Was he thinking about never having a soulmate again?
"You're breathtaking," Leo said. "Hey, Raph, let's go and shoot some basketball."
"Yer on, Fearless. Loser does the other's chores."

April had changed into her street clothes a while later and left the lair, when she neared the basketball court. She froze, not wishing to disturb Leo and Raphael.

"It's so damn unfair, Leo," Raphael said, as he dribbled the ball. "I got so much love. Why do I gotta be alone forever?"
"I know how you feel, Raph."
"Sometimes I think it'd have been better if we'd never mutated. At least we'd have been normal and maybe had mates, instead of havin' ta live in the shadows. We're freaks and outcasts, Leo. We don't belong nowhere and all we got is one another. I love ya guys, but I yearn for a deeper level of companionship."
"I feel the same way, but if we'd stayed regular turtles we'd never have been able to help so many people. Think of all the good we've done."
"I don't care. I want someone ta love. Maybe Donnie could make ooze and we could become humans. That would solve our problems. Think of all the opportunities we could have, Leo. A life outta the sewers."
"And leave Dad? You know he wouldn't take the ooze and he's getting older, Raph. He probably hasn't many years left."
"Leo, I'm drownin' in the sewers and I'm tired of hidin' in the shadows and of bein' called a freak."
The leader sighed and said, "If Dad has passed by the time you're eighteen, you're free to do as you wish, but until then remain here."
"And if he ain't passed by then?"
"Then you wait until he has. I don't like it, Raph, and I don't want to lose you, but if being human is so important to you, then do it. I won't stand in your way."
"And yer gonna do it, right? We do everythin' together."
"No. I like who I am."
"But who am I gonna turn ta for advice?"
"You can visit me."
"It ain't the same."
"No. Nothing in life ever is, Raph. Are you going to be okay?"
"Leo, havin' a family of my own means so much, but it ain't worth losin' ya."
"You won't lose me."
"But only seein' ya sometimes just ain't worth it. I think I'm gonna stay here and remain a Turtle," Raphael said, even as his heart sank.
"You can always change your mind."
"I won't. I love ya and our family too much for us ta ever be parted, especially ya, Leo. Yer my best friend and I can't and don't wanna imagine bein' without ya."

That is so Raphael, April had thought. He wants so much, but he won't have it if it means losing his brothers, because they're everything to him and it's vice versa.

She'd waited for a couple of minutes, then turned the corner, said her goodbyes and gone home.

Another memory of a recent trip to the farmhouse surfaced in her mind. They'd all had so much fun, but Raphael had acted weird and come to think of it, so had Leo. They'd seemed a bit nervous around one another, which was odd, because they'd been around one another their whole lives, but maybe they'd finally had the fight that had severed bonds for good. Could that be it? Or was it her overactive imagination? Was Casey right and Raphael and Leo were soulmates and they'd had some sort of connection and were ashamed about it? Like maybe a kiss or something more?

It wouldn't have bothered her at all if that was the case. All that mattered was that her friends had someone to love, but she knew that Splinter would never feel that way, so maybe something had happened and Leo had got cold feet, because he was worried Splinter would find out. It made sense, because the thing that Leo craved most was his dad's acceptance and praise.

She'd wanted to ask Leo about it, but now she would never get the chance.

April bowed her head in prayer, more tears spilling down her cheeks and said, "Sensei, please make it. I need you and love you so much. You're all I have. Me and the baby can't afford to lose you too."

She was so lost in thought, she never heard anyone speak, but she did feel a tap on her shoulder.

April nearly jumped out of her skin and said in amazement, "I'm dreaming, right? You can't be here."

A/N Will Splinter make it? Are Donnie, Mikey and Casey really gone for good?

Exciting news. My friend, Jerry is drawing art of Tyler, the mutant Komodo Dragon. He's coming along amazingly. I hope to

post him later this weekend on Archive of Our own. He's exactly how I envisioned in my head.

The next chapter is all fluff and romantic. Can you guess what?

Thanks for the reviews and follows :)