Scar Tissue

by deathbringer374

After Third Impact fic. The world goes to some semblance of normality. Shinji Ikari lays in bed, unmoving, tubes and wires all over, machines beeping away. Asuka stares, horrified, at the result of her violence. Maybe revenge tasted...bitter. AXS. Revised version has been uploaded! R&R

14. Chapter 14

AN: No, NO! Can it be?! Is it possible?! Another chapter of Scar Tissue!? It's impossible! Has the world stopped spinning?! What the hell?! No, really, here's the new chappy, folks.

Warning: Angst and fluff ahead.

You have been warned. Enjoy.

Scar Tissue

Chapter Fourteen. Act Thirteen: These Walls

NERV Medical Ward. Tenth day of recovery. 12:48am.

Asuka's body lay prone against his, her soft breaths tickling his right ear constantly while her head rested against his shoulders and her breasts caressed his chest. Naked limbs made contact with one another under the haven of the sheets; the sweat from before now felt chilling to Shinji, who had once again forgotten to close the small window of his room. He was forgetting that lately, along with his dinner. Sometimes even lunch went by and he didn't remember to eat. He never forgot to cook, though; no, that was the only moment he was free. Free of it all, free of the voices and regret and the crushing guilt, free of the visions, of the accusations of those who saw him on the street and pointed with their finger. He was even free of Asuka for a while; she gave him his miserable escape time to cook, thankfully.

The scent of her was all around him, her body warm and perfect against his flesh, but he felt no peace. Mindless pleasure was a double-edged sword, perhaps a triple-edged sword for Ikari Shinji, it seemed. After five months with her, and two months of sharing his bed with her, the sword had bled him out cut by cut, double-edged or not. He felt empty.

Another night, another nightmare, and yet another weird encounter between him and the volatile young woman he so loved, so hated and was so afraid of. His uselessness knew no limits, apparently. The burning need to help her, to be with her, to touch her ate away at him with every passing day. But he could not bring himself to touch her, could not even lay a finger on her while she moved above him, panting and covered in sweat. He was always afraid, always scared to move forward in the tiniest of ways, afraid to make himself more vulnerable than what he already was. Asuka didn't care though, she did as she pleased and acted as if they'd just finished fighting the Twelfth Angel, as if everything was suddenly back to normal. It infuriated him, her indifference.

The thought of it ignited the black pit of hatred deep within Shinji's stomach, but he forced himself to swallow it down like bile. Such thoughts never drove him to good places, but then again, neither did good thoughts or good intentions. What was his life to Asuka? Just a punching bag, nothing more, something to be used and put away in the closet. To Asuka he was probably a breathing floor mat, there for her to wipe her shoes, dry away her tears and keep on going. Shinji sighed and did the exact same thing he had been doing all his life: he swallowed down the anger once again. Hollow eyes, glazed with endless torment and horrors beyond imagining, stared at the dark, unfamiliar ceiling above him. No answers that night either, no magical enlightenment, not even his damn SDAT.

There was nothing more to do now; he had given his word and would see it through, no matter how painful, how shameful his duty was. It didn't matter if it cost him his health, it didn't matter if it cost his sanity, what little of it still remaining belonged to her now.

Shinji choked out a laugh, strained and false and careful, so as not to disturb Asuka and bring about more of her ire. His fingers still hurt a bit when he flexed his hand too hard, but she'd been kind enough to only break one of them. His side was still hurting from where she'd hit him earlier that day. One single, solid kick straight to his rib cage had been enough to drive him to the floor, trying not to vomit up his wretched lunch.

She'd been doing that as of late, adding the kicks to the mix. Her fists he could take -she didn't punch nearly as hard as Toji did- but her legs were a different story altogether. She had a way of aiming perfectly in a few seconds and just slamming with her whole body's momentum. He'd received one of those to his leg the other day for asking her to leave him alone while he was cleaning; it had been enough to provoke an ugly bruise on his thigh. What was it that he had done this time? Had he not listened to her while she was insulting him? Had he not cleaned her room correctly, or did he offend her with laughter, God forbid a smile? Did it even matter anymore? How long before he just disappeared, before the hallucinations turned realistic again? How long now, before he lost his mind?

Beside him, Asuka shifted, moving closer to his body heat, unconsciously rubbing her thigh around his groin. Shinji grunted quietly and turned to look at the ceiling in utter defeat. Once more he had been made to stay still while Asuka did as she wanted with him, taking full advantage of his inability to resist her, or so much as contradict her for that matter. It felt good, indeed, but it all amounted to nothing for him in the end. It was so unfair that he couldn't just move along with her, become one with her, and make love like a regular fucking couple. But hey were anything but a couple; maybe she would finally see it through and kill him, should he suggest such nonsense. He choked back another bitter laugh; he had yet again been reduced to staring at eyes looking exactly as empty as his while Asuka rubbed against him. How pathetic.

Dark thoughts circled his semi-conscious mind, hazed by sleep deprivation, exhaustion and bitterness. Sometimes he wandered if he should have just let Asuka float away into the LCL. Why had she suddenly been laying there beside him? Why couldn't he remember? He'd been walking back from somewhere, where was it? Had it been the Geofront? The crater? He couldn't recall what it was, or how he'd ended up beside his pathetic little wooden graveyard. Had he been talking to Misato's tomb that day?

Shinji huffed, it made no difference. How the hell had he even managed to see her hair in that ocean of blood, anyway? No memories came to greet him, just the vague image of him catching a glimpse of a golden glow on the ocean, out there in that sea of blood which disgusted him so, and then… waking up. Next to her, next to Asuka. Everything after finding himself next to her he recalled with clarity; the anger descended upon him, the memories of her constant insults came back fresh as morning dew, her bitchy attitude towards him, her constant pushing him away ignited his endless rage. 'Shinji, do this, Shinji do that, Shinji you idiot, Shinji you coward, Shinji you monster'.

He turned to glare at the mass of red hair sprawled next to his head, and for a wild moment felt his fingers twitch for her throat. Enough, he had thought on the day he found her. Fuck it all. Die. It'd be so easy, too. Now that she was sated, all he needed to do was wrap his hands around that soft, elegantly long, slender neck of hers and just squeeze.

Just squeeze. Squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and not stop this time around if she reached for his face. Squeeze until she stopped breathing, until her heart stopped beating and her neck snapped, until it turned purple, until her eyes bulged and her windpipe burst in his hands. Yes. Just squeeze. Just make her quiet, make her stop hurting him, make her his. Then he wouldn't have to hear her stupid reasons for why he couldn't touch her; he'd just do what he wanted, take what he wanted. Yes. Then he'd escape. Escape into her, pay her back with the same coin, make Asuka his. All he needed to do was squeeze. Choke her, exactly as he'd done in Third Impact, on the beach, on that day she kept on nagging. Killing the likes of her would be so simple, too. He had her routine measured to the tiniest details; it was all a matter of waiting for the right moment, just like this, and squeeze.

'Why was I trying to kill you?' he mimicked her in his mind. 'Why shouldn't I kill you? All you do is hurt me. You'd be so easy to kill, too. Just press my fingers on your throat, shut you up for once.' A few moments of desperate struggle, a few moments of letting his anger out and it'd all be over. Then he could go ahead and slice his veins open once and for all. He'd be able to rest, to roast in Hell with some semblance of peace at long last. Yes, all he needed was to squeeze, just like he'd done with Unit 03, when he'd dismembered his friend. Just let it out, just squeeze.

The thought drove a cold shudder down Shinji's back. Yes, he had done just that with Toji, just squeezed until he snapped his neck and then punched and punched until nothing remained. He wasn't smart enough to understand how the Dummy System worked, but he wasn't stupid enough not to recognize himself. His EVA had simply copied what he did when he lost control.

With that final, terrible thought Shinji came to, realizing his left hand was clutching the sheets with enough force to feel his nails digging into the skin of his palm through the sheets. His meager muscles were rippling around his forearms, veins bulging with the force of his hold. He released the blankets slowly, taking deep breaths to calm his speeding heart. He turned to look over at Asuka and released a sigh of relief upon confirming she was still asleep. The last thing he needed in a moment like this was for her to wake up and anger him. The tension of his body didn't disappear when he let go of the sheets; if anything, his hand continued to clench and unclench without him realizing it. Little by little, gulp by gulp, he swallowed down the bitter pill of his resentment.

Soon after the anger left his body, Shinji was once again consumed by the never-ending misery, shame and guilt he had gotten so used to. Here he was, thinking of killing off the one reason he was still able to discern between his mind and reality, simply because he resented the tasks he was forced to perform for her. But he never really did anything, did he?

Sure, he cleaned the house. Scavenged in every place he could to find suitable ingredients for a half-decent lunch or dinner, sometimes going into the rubble all day long. Sure, he cleaned her clothes, washed them with whatever water he could afford to waste while she worked on some kind of water distiller. He cooked and cleaned and pretended nothing was amiss when Misato sat with them at the old, worn-out dinner table to devour the scraps he'd been able to procure. He was there as a punching bag and a maid, and now a comfort toy as well, but it was nothing; it accounted to nothing, just like everything he had ever done.

Beside him, Asuka shifted again, making Shinji panic for a second. She didn't wake, however, only moved even closer to him, nudged his groin even more with her knee and smacked her lips while asleep, only to keep breathing deeply a second afterwards. Shinji felt the arousal heat up the base of his stomach at her close proximity, forcing the shame even deeper into his blackened soul. Had he not been thinking about ending her life just now? It just took a smile, a nudge, or a caress from her and Shinji was reduced to putty in her hands. The torture of having her so close to him, and yet so far away, seemed oddly fitting for the boy who had refused to save the world, only because he didn't know what it was like to share human warmth.

The more Asuka neared him, the more his arousal got the better of him. For a wild moment he felt unable to control himself, ready to jerk off with her unconscious and sprawled against him, but the moment his left hand started going down his stomach Shinji felt revulsion jump at his throat. Had something like that not been the reason she was so disgusted with the very notion of him touching her? He curled his hand into a fist, opened it and slapped himself over the head for good measure, always careful not to upset the sleeping redhead. With his hand covering the left side of his face, Shinji blinked slowly.

"God," he whispered to himself. "I'm so fucked up…"

"You are," came the response from everywhere in the room. The ever-familiar sensation of utter fear went down Shinji's spine as wide eyes searched in desperation for the owner of his own voice. Fear quickly turned to panic, panic to horror, and horror to despair. There it was, the monster that so often haunted his dreams.

Red eyes shone with malice from the open door of his closet. Shinji felt himself go weak when the stench of rotting flesh, ever familiar, made its way to his nostrils. The crimson eyes narrowed at him while the cold shudder turned his blood into ice.

"Coward," it whispered to him from the closet. "Thought you could run away from me, hmm? Thought Asuka was going to keep me at bay, huh, Shinji?"

Out of nowhere, everything in his small room with the exception of himself and the owner of the red eyes was engulfed in flames. Asuka's body burned away from him, her warmth disappeared along with his bed, his window, the walls of his room. Soon enough there was nothing but himself standing naked in the Void, and the beast who comfortably sat in a steel chair, watching him with twisted amusement.

"You truly are a coward, aren't you Shinji? Aside from being a monster, that is. Hiding behind a girl, how pathetic."

Shinji blinked at the Beast. For once, he could not see blood seeping from its open wounds; there was no gash in its chest for blood to pour out. One of the monster's eyes was almost swollen shut, a small dribble of crimson froth escaped its opened lips, there were scratched all along its arms, but there was no gore about it anymore.

"I told you," it said, rising from the chair and dusting its school pants. "You can't win. You can't run. I'll find you if you run from me, and I'll make you remember just how much of a monster you are."

The beast made its way around him, circling Shinji like a lion would its helpless prey, knowing full well he was all but paralyzed. "You were starting to think everything was going back to normal, huh? No, no, no, my dear boy. Do you remember that night?" it said, rancid breath ever so close to him.

"Of course you do," continued the monster, not letting him speak for the time being. "I was noticing just how much you were deluding yourself, thinking it was something else that pushed you to do those horrible, horrible things. But we know better than that." It smirked sadistically at him with the same expression he had worn when choking Asuka. "Don't we?

"Why, you were deceiving everyone around you with the good boy act, weren't you?" The beast's stance continued to grow more and more aggressive as it noticed Shinji had not even flinched yet, still facing it with his eyes downcast and brown hair obscuring half his face. Red eyes blazed with the color of blood when the Beast leaped in front of him, the horror of its eyes burning straight into his.

"You don't fool me, Shinji. I'm you, I know you. You're a monster, a murderer, a coward. How many nights did you think about killing her, hm? How many days, how many times did you want to wrap your hands on that neck and squeeze?" The beast's tattered arm rose and took him by the neck. "You may fool everyone around you, but you can't lie to yourself. I know why you just sat there and did nothing while she beat you. I know why you just let her do as she pleased. You knew, you know…" It pressed against his neck, choking and not choking him. "You know that if you snap, you won't stop this time. Besides the guilt, there's the fear, isn't there, Shinji?"

It smirked at him, showing bloodied teeth."The fear of not controlling yourself, the fear of killing her all over again with those innocent-looking hands of yours. They're already dripping blood, aren't they? What's one more person to add to your list? What's a little more red on the hands of a murderer like you? Are you still afraid to let me out, Shinji?"

It pressed hard against his throat, red froth falling from its mouth. "I'll be gentle with her, don't worry. I'll just choke her like you wanted to, just make her quiet. It'll be quick, over before you can even jerk off, how does that sound? What's one more, eh?"

Something scalding surged through Shinji's stomach. How dare this beast, how dare it threaten Asuka? His left hand started clenching and unclenching, making the monster smile all the wider. "I wonder," it whispered to him. "It is her neck you're thinking of wringing with that hand?"

All around him the screams of the victims of Third Impact began to build up, slowly turning deafening. "I can do it for you. I'd hate to kill my muse, but I'd do it. Do you want me to? Don't you want me to rid you of her, like I rid you of the Third? Or maybe you'd prefer if I just bite down into her neck and tear out her windpipe, like I did with the Fourteenth?"

The more the beast spoke, the more Shinji felt himself fall into a haze of pure, raw, pulsating anger. Ever since he had returned from Third Impact, the mere notion of anyone daring to even badmouth Asuka in his presence managed to make him lose control. He had been more than useless to her before Third Impact; during the event he had pathetically cowered under the disappointing gaze of Unit 01 while she was torn to pieces, and afterwards he'd been so afraid to do anything but what she ordered, that he'd simply sat back and allowed her to hurt even more.

Not again. Not ever.

"What about taking what we want, hm?" The monster demanded, clutching his throat even tighter. Curiously enough, Shinji felt no pressure on his lungs. "How about we just choke her to death and then fuck her? You've thought about it for years now, haven't you? How long has it been since last time? Two months? I can do it, if you don't want to get your dirty hands even dirtier. All you have to do is let me out…"

The beast's rancid breath did not provoke disgust in him any longer. The smell of it angered him, every word it said angered him. What more could it do to him, anyhow? Now it was demanding to be let out, unleashed in front of Asuka of all things. His fist clenched with brutal force.

"She's right next to us, isn't she?" it asked, amused. "Just a few steps away from our bed. Your body's stronger now, you can take it. You can do it, all you need to do, Shinji, is set me loose. We'll choke her, we'll fuck her, we'll do as we please. Let yourself become what you are, Shinji, let yourself become the monster and fuck her already, why don't y-"

The beast's words were abruptly cut off when Shinji's left hand wrapped around its throat. He squeezed, squeezed as hard as he could, and allowed the anger to flow through him. For once, the anger felt right. There was no shame, no guilt about displaying it, only one single fact remained in his mind.

This beast had just threatened Asuka's life.

"God damn you," Shinji growled, glaring with vehemence into the monster's surprised face. For once, it was its arm that began to loosen its hold on his throat. "How dare you!?"

'Attack your opponent,' whispered his instructor's voice from out of nowhere.

"How dare you threaten my Asuka?!" Shinji slammed his foot against the beast's chest, forcing it to drop its grip on his throat and step back.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" it screamed back at him, eyes full or surprised rage. "I'm you, you fucking idiot; it's you who wants to kill her!" Shinji's right fist clenched as well. He turned to the beast and starting walking towards his inner fears and demons for the first time in his life.

"I did," he admitted. "I did want to kill her. I wanted to make her hurt, use her in a way that couldn't hurt me back. But that's the past now." With every step he took, the Void recoiled; the darkness began to crack around him while the beast looked around with fearful eyes.

"The past?!" it spat, taking another step back. It looked nervous for once, making Shinji clench his fists even tighter. "You exist only in the past, you dimwit! That's why I'm here, because you keep running away from it! I'll show you, I'll show you just how much-"

"Your act is getting old," Shinji coldly interrupted. The anger had somehow cleared his mind instead of making it hazy; he felt completely in control of his actions, completely in control of himself. "You've shown me everything already, time and time again, for nine months. Go ahead, do it."

Shinji stood in front of his inner demon, glaring down at it with vehemence. "I'm not running anywhere. You don't need to hunt me down, I'm right here." The beast recoiled even further as it glared with eyes full of hatred.

"You dare?!" it screamed, enraged. "I'll make you lose your mind, I'll make you kill her for your disrespect, I'll mess you up so bad you'll be begging for death, do you hear me?! You can't win, I'll make you destroy Misato! I'll make you hurt your sister, I'll force to hurt your precious little Asuk-"

His fist collided with the beast's face, interrupting it yet again. He kicked it in the ribs for good measure, feeling an immense pleasure sprout from his chest with every attack. He had lost his family once already, lost Rei, lost Misato, lost Asuka. Let this thing try to take them away. The beast reared back, stunned, and turned its disbelieving gaze to him. He scoffed and threw out his left fist again, managing to make the beast fall on its ass.

"Say it again," he challenged. "Threaten Misato again. Threaten my sister again. Threaten Asuka again."

The beast showed him its teeth, making the Void rumble with its own rage. "Who the fuck do you think you are?! I'll do as I please! I'll fuck your little girlfriend until she blee-"

This time, Shinji's foot came crashing down onto the beast's face and broke its nose with a sickening crunch. He kicked its face again and again, forcing it deeper into the ground. "Say it again," he bit through clenched teeth as he kicked. "Say how you'll touch my sister. Say how you'll touch my Asuka." He knelt down and straddled the beast with his legs, as it had done with him for so long.

"Say it," he said, throwing a punch. "Say it, go ahead." Two more punches collided with the beast. Blood sprinkled on Shinji's face. "Say it again." Punch.

"Say it; tell me you'll touch my family."

Punch.

"Tell me how you'll rip Asuka's out throat with my teeth."

Punch.

"Tell me how you'll rape her."

Punch. Punch.

"Tell me how you'll torture me."

Punch.

"How you'll make me snap."

"Why you little, I'll ki-"

Punch.

"Tell me how you'll make me guilty, how you'll make me run away."

Punch.

"Tell me." Punch. "Tell me." Punch. "Tell me!"

The beast glared at him with its one useful eye and transformed into the butchered version of Asuka which had for so long haunted him. Shinji's next punch stopped cold in mid air, his eyes wide.

"Shinji-kun… is this what you'll do to me?" it said, daring to use Asuka's voice. The hole on its eye was red and bleeding, its arm torn in half, but instead of making him afraid the beast's desperate antic only fueled the fires of his anger. "Is this how you'll kill me, how you'll finish disgracing me?" it smiled crookedly at him, licking its lips. "Is this the real Ikari Shinji?"

"SHUT UP!" Shinji clenched his fist and drove it straight into the monster's head. The half-rotted skull exploded in a shower of blood and gore, bathing half his arm in blackened liquid. "I'll own up to it. To everything, no matter how much it hurts. I won't run away. I'll stay right here. I'll do better." He clenched his bloodied fists at his side and screamed. "No running away!"

The carcass under him dissolved in blood. Above him, Shinji could hear the ocean building up, could see the tidal wave crashing through the Void. The mass of red condensed in front of him, twisting into a tornado containing all the blood he'd ever spilled, every time he had run away, every action result of his cowardice, every memory he had blocked, every single sin on his soul. The tornado exploded into the grime-covered form of Unit 01, its armor mostly gone, horrible teeth blared and eyes shining red. It roared at his face, big enough to squash him like a bug.

Fear gripped at his throat, but Shinji stood his ground. He had made promises, vowed not to run away again. If he couldn't keep a promise to himself, how could he ever hope to fulfill his word to Asuka, to anyone? No, no more running. No escaping.

"I'm not afraid of you!" Shinji screamed back, silencing Unit 01's roar. "Come at me, you piece of trash! I'll kill you! I'll send you to the darkest pit of my mind and lock you there permanently if I have to!"

"HA!" The beast boomed while it picked him from the ground with a blood-drenched hand. "I don't care if you're pretending to be tough or not, but it doesn't matter. I'll hunt you when you're awake! You think you can win?! Asuka's in that hospital bed right now because of you!" The beast spoke without speaking, the jaws of Unit 01 stayed open, letting him gaze at the whirlpool of torture inside of it. All his hatred, his fear and anger coiled in a tornado of black and red within the beast's body. The voice came from everywhere, from the Void itself.

"I know that!" Shinji screamed back. "But crying about it doesn't help at all, either! I'll do what I have to so I can protect her, so I can protect my family! Even if it means I have to die!" The beast roared yet again, tightening its grip around his body. The familiar sound reverberated in the Void, making Shinji cringe, but he did not back down.

"Do you want to die?!" demanded the beast at last. "You can't do anything, you murderer! You coward! You idiot! You spineless little worm! Do you want to die?! Do You want to Die?!"

"NO!" he screamed back with equal force. "I want to live, I want to be happy! I want my friends to be happy, I want to see Misato try to hide her white hair, I want to see Rei have her first boyfriend, I want to see Toji get married, I want to make Asuka happy!"

"And how will you do that, you pathetic worm?! You can't do anything! You won't do anything! You won't even help yourself! How can someone like you be happy!?" The beast roared one last time, and upon noticing Shinji had lowered his head, dragged him closer to its open maw. "Ran out of smart answers, tough guy?" the beast mocked him, salivating with anticipation.

Its hand froze in mid-air when he spoke. "I don't know," the former pilot whispered. "I don't know how to be happy. I don't know if someone like me even deserves it, but that won't stop me from trying." He turned to stare at the crazed, hate-filled eyes of the beast. "I've always been afraid. I've always been scared of what would happen if I ever committed myself to anything. Afraid to fail. To get hurt, to disobey. What did being afraid ever do for me? What did it ever do for you?"

The beast held him even farther away from its eyes, in a similar way he had held onto Kaworu the day he'd killed his last friend. "There's no point in it, anymore. There's no point in hiding away from you. There's no point in being afraid of you. There's no point in not trying, no point at all in wondering if I deserve to be happy. I'll only hurt myself, and the ones who care about me. So I'll just start trying. I'll just do better, I'll try my best."

For once, Shinji offered his beast a sincere, untroubled smile. "I'll try my best."

The beast's jaws snapped shut. The Void cracked like crystal around them, letting light filter through.

"Well then," it growled. "Congratulations, Shinji."

The Void broke at last. The beast disappeared. He was suddenly standing in the center of a group of people; standing around everyone was he had ever known, and they were clapping. They were clapping... for him? There was Misato, smiling proudly at him. To his right was Rei with a serene smile on her face. Asuka looked on with the smirk that made his knees weak. Father, Mother, even his old sensei. Ritsuko was there, and Maya, and Makoto and Shigeru, everyone was there. And they were clapping, clapping for him. Shinji's eyes widened; it felt so familiar. Had this happened before?

Even the beast was standing among them. It looked human at last, exactly the same as him, aside from the blood-crimson eyes and a few scratches and bumps on his face. It smirked at him. "Congratulations, Shinji."

"Huh?"

Blue eyes opened in a flash, alert and frightened as if woken by a shock. Shinji's eyes moved left and right, recognizing the darkness of the hospital room around him. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief, feeling strangely subdued, strangely well rested. What…had he been dreaming about? Something about the beast, the monster inside his mind. Something about trying harder, something about Asuka, and Rei and Misato. It was happening more often now; he normally recalled his nightmares with agonizing detail, the images crowding his mind day and night without respite. Lately, however, the defining details of his dreams were lost in a haze after the first seconds of awareness, leaving him with unfinished lines and half-cut images.

Shinji rubbed his face with his left hand, surprised not to feel the moisture of the usual cold sweat that accompanied most of his mornings. The first details of the dream solidified a bit in his brain, making Shinji freeze as he remembered the night and thoughts he'd been relieving. He turned his head in the direction of Asuka's bed, eyes widening when he saw her sitting up, looking at him.

Even when she was trying to hide it, Shinji saw the shadow of concern on her expression under the dim light that filtered through the window. He smiled awkwardly, but the female pilot only raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Who were you kicking so much?" she asked, yawning.

Shinji blinked, turning on his side to seat himself as well. "W-what do you mean?" he asked back.

"You were moving around a lot. Did you hurt your ribs?" Her eyes turned steely, making him gulp. He felt around the loose bandages on his side, and upon discovering no troublesome ache, shook his head. Asuka huffed, sticking out her lower lip.

"You woke me up, Baka," she said. "I was having a good dream, for once."

Shinji gave her an apologetic smile and scratched his head in embarrassment. "S-Sorry!" he said with a blush.

Asuka crossed her arms and turned away, but he could discern the slight flush on her cheek. "Ba-Ka," she groaned, sticking out her tongue. "Who the hell were you kicking so much, anyway?" she asked once more, raising her chin. "You even kicked your blanket off the bed."

Shinji gazed at the floor and noticed Asuka was right; his blankets lay on the ground beside his bed and the cover of his mattress had all but been removed by his constant moving as well. How the hell had he managed not to hurt himself?

"Um, well," Shinji said as he scratched his head. "...Myself, really."

Asuka blinked at him. "Hm? How come you were kicking yourself, Baka?"

Shinji dropped his arm and shrugged. "I was being an ass," he offered. "So I kicked some sense into me." Asuka snickered at him, swinging her legs out of bed. "H-Asuka! You shouldn't be getting-"

"Oh, shut up already, will you?" she interrupted, walking towards his bed and dismissing his concern with a motion of her hand. "It's been ten days, relax." Shinji sat perplexed as she bent over to pick his fallen blanket, hissing a bit as she came back up. He was about to voice out his concern for her wound again, but was shocked to silence when she covered his body with the blanket, grabbed his head between her soft hands and planted a delicate kiss on his forehead.

"Congratulations, then," she said, ruffling his hair.

Shinji, for his part, had successfully acquired the color of a tomato on his face. "W-what for?" he wondered aloud as he stared disbelievingly at Asuka. She gave him a smile, turning back to her own bed.

"For kicking your own ass, Baka-Shinji." She winked at him once she was under the covers, and turned on her left side side so as to face him. Shinji, for his part, sat petrified for a few more seconds before he managed to regain some mobility in his limbs and force himself into a stiff supine position, staring at the ceiling.

After a few heartbeats of silence, Shinji heard Asuka shuffle and clear her throat. "So, um... In what way, exactly, were you going to try your best, Shinji?"

"Eh?!" Shinji, scandalized, turned his head to stare at her open-mouthed, a crimson blush around his nose.

"You talk in your sleep, idiot," Asuka provided, giving him a sly smile. "Sometimes, at least."

"W-Well, uhm!" Shinji's brain tried to articulate a proper response, but his system crashed with embarrassment. How much had she heard, anyway? "Y-You sleepwalk!" he accused back.

Asuka rolled her eyes at him. "So you've told me before, idiot. Really now, what was all that 'I'll try my best' stuff just now, hm?"

Shinji blushed even more, turning to look at the ceiling again, lip scrunched up. "U-Um, … no-nothing in particular just…um… giving it my best… and…and damn everything else, you know?" He took another deep breath and tried to bring down his pulse. "I've done enough half-assing for a lifetime, I guess," he admitted, giving Asuka a sheepish smile.

"You and me, both, Baka." She smiled back and turned to her other side, blocking her face from view. "I'll do my best, too. Try to keep up, okay?"

"H-Hai!" Shinji answered as he got comfortable on his stiff mattress. "Good night, Asuka." He felt strangely at peace in the sterile environment of the hospital. It didn't matter at all when he had his family so close to him, none of it did.

"G'night, Shinji," she answered, hiding her proud smile from him. Just now, when he was asleep, she thought. He sounded so sure of himself, so determined. A heated blush crept on her cheeks. So hot! Asuka gave herself a smack on the head. Stupid brain, shut up! But... he did, I'll give you that much.

Another night went by, another nightmare dulled by their mutual company.

---

NERV Medical Ward. Eleventh day of recovery. Third 'voluntary' therapy session.

"I guess it started… a couple of weeks after we came back," said Asuka, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. She despised opening up to anyone, but between Misato and a psychiatrist, she certainly preferred her legal guardian. These little therapy sessions with Misato had gotten more and more intimate, which in turn made Asuka feel more vulnerable and thus, more aggressive.

"I told myself it was because he… you know… let me die and-" she swallowed the lump in her throat, "because he… masturbated when I was unconscious. And, tried to kill me." Misato gave no clear sign of surprise to the news, she barely reacted at all, making Asuka feel even more uncomfortable. "Um… twice.

"I even left at one point; I think that's when things really went sour for us…" She remembered the paranoia, the anger and the phantom pain traveling all the way up her arm. "Can you imagine? After all we'd been through; after all I'd seen I still couldn't let myself be vulnerable around him. I was so sickened with him… with me… that I just needed to know… needed to know…"

Words failed her. She didn't want to admit it, didn't want to say it. Shinji would be coming back from therapy soon; if she stayed quiet she could postpone saying out loud one of the sickest parts of her behavior. Even when she knew Misato would not break her trust, opening up so much was igniting the fires of her anger. Misato's calculating look was not helping manners, so Asuka looked away and frowned.

"What?" Misato asked after a pregnant silence. "What did you need to know, Asuka?" Seeing her young charge shake her head and look away, the Sub-Commander decided to be ruthless. "You can tell me, or we arrange a round of sessions with our psychiatrist, and we can put you in a different room."

Asuka's hands curled into fists, choking the non-existent life out of the bed sheets. Sure, Misato didn't like to threaten Asuka or blackmail her where she knew it hurt, but as a legal guardian she had to make sure Shinji was safe in Asuka's presence.

Asuka glared vehemently at Misato when she threatened to transfer her to another room. It was funny, in a sad, twisted way. Nine months of pure psychological hell and Armageddon had to pass for Asuka to admit she was actually fond of Shinji's company. "I really hate you right now," she whispered, glaring from beneath her crimson bangs.

Misato smirked. "No, you don't," she answered easily. "Now spill the beans, kid."

Her frustrations quickly gaining on her, Asuka exploded. "I needed to know I could still hurt him, okay?!" she screamed right in Misato's face. She felt a kind of dark satisfaction in watching her guardian's eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. Yeah, you wanted to know?! she thought viciously, You wanted to see inside my head?! There! "I wanted to know he still reacted to me, he still noticed I existed!"

In a second Misato's dumbfounded expression turned to anger as well. "And you needed to kick his ribs in to do that?! He fed you, clothed and protected you in those shacks and for what?! Wasn't that enough? Why did you have to hurt him to make him notice you?! He lives for you!"

A nurse paused on her way past doorway to the room when she heard the shouts and screams, but then continued on her way as if nothing was amiss. After two weeks of sheltering the volatile Second Child in the Medical Wing, every nurse and doctor had gotten used to the noise.

Inside the room, Asuka was just about ready to rip Misato's head off. "He left me to die, okay?! Then he tried to kill me! Twice! I was scared, and all I've ever been good at is hurting him! I was fucking confused, and traumatized, and just fucking unstable! Then he comes along and starts taking care of me like nothing happened, and he started… started… g-goddammit!" Asuka shouted, hissing when the sudden movement of smashing her fists against the mattress produced a strong bolt of pain in her midsection.

Misato's gaze turned worried for a second but, seeing no immediate damage, she continued. "What, Asuka? What else did he start doing?" she asked, concerned. The Sub-Commander could feel it, they were so close to hitting a crucial point in analyzing Asuka's behavior.

Asuka exhaled slowly, trying to ease the pain in her stomach, and stared at Misato with a resigned and guilty expression. "Going away, fading," she whispered. "He started to fade, don't you remember?" She did, she absolutely did, and it scared her. When Shinji would fade away into his mind, when his eyes turned glassy, deranged, she felt scared. Misato obviously remembered as well; she nodded and urged Asuka to continue.

"It kept getting harder to reach him, to make him react to me. I wanted… I wanted to show him the absolute worst parts of me, just so he'd wake up but… but also… to reassure myself he wouldn't leave."

Misato gave another big sigh. There it was; a breakthrough at last. It had taken them three days, but Asuka was finally lowering her guard enough to let Misato in. "You wanted to make sure he wouldn't abandon you like everyone else, didn't you?" she asked in clarification.

Asuka did not answer, but she scowled deeply and nodded nonetheless. Misato understood well; there were few things the Second Child hated more than looking weak in front of anyone but Shinji, and even with him she was guarded to a point. Believing she had made sufficient progress in the particular point of the redhead's fixation with being noticed by Shinji, Misato changed the subject.

"So," she asked. "Why do you think he let you beat him up?" At that, she received a strange look from Asuka, something nearing bewilderment mixed slightly with anger.

"He didn't let me, he just didn't stop me," said Asuka. Some of the anger faded, but something else took its place, something quite unseemly in the strong girl's stare. If Misato didn't know better, she would have thought it was fear.

"What do you mean?" asked Misato.

"Have you seen Shinji angry?" Asuka asked her, almost urgently. "Like, really angry?"

The Sub-Commander was shocked still by the question for a second, but then she remembered the Fourth, and the Twelfth, and the Fourteenth, and she understood. Misato nodded grimly to her young charge. "Yes," she whispered, taking Asuka's hand. "Yes I have."

Asuka barely noticed; she stared dead ahead, her eyes slightly unfocused, her molars softly gnawing the inside of her left cheek, as if unwilling to admit something. After a few heartbeats she sighed, and her fingers flexed slightly against Misato's.

"He's…" Asuka started, biting her lower lip. "He's scary when… when he's really angry."

At that moment Asuka sounded every bit her age, and it broke Misato's heart in two. Of course Asuka knew; she'd seen into his mind, had seen the pent up confusion, the fear, the hate and longing and the trauma. And she had seen the anger, all that anger, in someone like Shinji, someone she thought weak, and she had seen herself. Weak. Weak.

Misato stood and, as slowly as she could as if approaching an injured wolf, she closed the gap between them and pulled her into a tight hug, embracing her as tight as she could without upsetting her charge's injury. For once, Asuka didn't resist.

"I guess I… was scared of him, because he reminded of myself, partly at least." Asuka sniffed, making Misato hug her tighter. "I needed to know I didn't need to fear him, I needed to own him, shame him, so he couldn't scare me anymore…" Something between a snort and a sob escaped Asuka's throat, making Misato's broken heart bleed out all the more. "But it was so stupid, I was so stupid! He's always been stronger, better," she said bitterly, as if admitting her greatest shame.

Maybe she is, thought Misato miserably. And she's telling it to this drunken failure, I guess it fits. "Not always…" she whispered, but Asuka shook her head. Her left hand clutched the fabric of her bed with deadly force, turning her knuckles white.

"He's always been stronger! Even with all my training, he could snap my neck in two if he really wanted to, I know it!" She sounded so angry, so utterly convinced, that it was impossible not to agree with her on that particular subject. There was something about Shinji, something bestial, primal inside him, and when it came out it was quite frightening.

Misato had no answer to that, so she simply stroked Asuka's hair and let her vent her anger and her shame without fear of mockery or retaliation.

"He could've killed me all along, all this time, he could've stopped me! He's stronger, he could've raped me if he wanted!" Asuka balled her fists and struck Misato with no real force behind the blows until her wound made her wince. but Misato didn't let go. After a few seconds, Asuka was hissing from pain and swallowing down sobs.

"But he didn't," she whispered into Asuka's hair when she quieted down.

"Why?!" Asuka yelled into the fabric of Misato's jacket. "Why didn't he?! It's not like I did anything to deserve better! Why?!" Her tirade didn't last long, they rarely did these days, and by the end she wasn't crying, or hugging Misato back, but she allowed the older woman to keep holding her and stroke her hair.

Because he loves you, stupid, Misato thought, but bit her tongue. It wasn't for her to say it, anyhow. "I don't know," she said instead. "Maybe you should ask him."

Trying to lighten the mood after a few minutes of comforting silence, Misato gave Asuka some good news for once. "I'm getting some of your stuff brought in a few days," she whispered to the mass of red hair resting on her shoulder. "We'll move you guys to a more comfortable room, a bigger one. Oh and guess what? I even brought Pen-Pen!" She nudged the younger girl with her shoulder affectionately.

"No way… you found him?!" Asuka exclaimed, surprised, momentarily forgetting the earlier, harsh therapy session she'd just survived.

"Yup! Well, not really. He kind of… found me, I guess. It's a long story, look! What matters is that he's coming to live with us in our own little section of the Med Bay, all right?" Asuka snickered at her comment, shaking her head against Misato's jacket.

"You're gonna have to stay here for a while," she continued quietly, stroking Asuka's hair; now she understood why Shinji liked it so much; it was soft as silk to the touch. "It's still dangerous out there. I'll keep you guys safe; I'll tell you everything I know, but not now. Right now we have to stick together, but we'll have to be here until everything's over."

"What are you guys doing now?" Asuka asked, muffled by the fabric of her shirt. "You're planning something nasty?"

"Just for the people who dared to hurt my little family," she answered and kissed Asuka's temple. The memory of Project X flashed through her mind, and the gravity of the fate that awaited the members of SEELE weighed heavily on her conscience. But fuck it, they deserved it. "Just you wait and see, Asuka-chan. Soon the world will understand Katsuragi Misato is not to be fucked with."

---

NERV Medical Ward. Eleventh day of recovery.

The salad wasn't particularly large, nor was any of the other foul-looking dishes he had been given as lunch, but Shinji resigned himself to eat the gruel for once. Helpful for my metabolism, my ass, he thought sourly while limping to the large table where Rei was already sitting. God, everything hurts so much…

Physical therapy was a complete drag, but mandatory nowadays. He'd just come from a particularly gruesome session of stretching and breathing, stretching and breathing to the point where his arms and legs were quivering, his chest and stomach were exploding with unbearable pain, his healing ribs creating a cacophony of agony with every deep breath, and his diaphragm felt like it was on fire.

"I swear, yoga is a type of torture," he commented, sitting down facing his newly found sister. The concept still confused him to no end, he truly had no idea if he was speaking with the Rei he'd known since arriving to Tokyo 3, the Rei who had merged with Lilith and kicked some sense into him, or a completely different, new individual altogether. Still, he tried his best.

"The assigned training is essential if you wish to achieve a full recovery," Rei replied as she typed on a small laptop and took demure bites of her salad every now and then. "Your muscle mass was severely deteriorated. You are required to eat as much protein as possible, as well as complete your scheduled sessions, for you to achieve your ideal weight and height. Furthermore, to correct the… damage… to your diaphragm and lungs, you must continue to engage in challenging physical exercise."

Shinji made an annoyed face and turned his attention to his plate. Some things don't really change I guess, he mused, feeling the familiarity of Rei's articulate way of speaking. He dropped his gaze to the tray once again; before him lay a salad, if the green mass on the plate could be called such, a dark type of gruel supposed to be pig stew, a bar of tofu with what looked like instant soy sauce, dehydrated fruit and a small miso soup with a poorly cooked mass of noodles. One whiff of the soup was enough to make the young pilot realize his meal would be as tasteless as it looked.

"I really should've just gone and cooked," he remarked while sipping on the bland miso. If only he was not so sore and tired from his training schedule, he would at the very least have been able to make sure the noodles were properly boiled. "This is terribly cooked."

The left side of Rei's lips twitched lightly at his argument. "I've heard the cooking staff is quite annoyed with you," she remarked, turning her crimson eyes to him momentarily. "As it would seem, they are not at all pleased with the Second's opinion on the dining area's cuisine, and do not appreciate your constant visits to further educate them in their craft."

Shinji pouted; the glare the head cook had thrown his way that morning had not gone unnoticed. He shrugged, feeling more displeased with the food by the second. "It's not my fault they have no idea how to use a spice, or how to cook noodles, geez. These are jelly on one side and rock-raw on the other, how do you even do that? At least Misato leaves it all like jelly."

The comment earned him another smile from Rei, which in turn made him feel awkward and blush for no particular reason. If his relationship with Asuka was a puzzle, Rei's was like a labyrinth with endless doors. Conversations with her were mostly banal, regarding everyday things and social customs Rei found hard to decipher, which by itself was a broad topic; furthermore, banal subjects helped him beat around the bush with his nervousness most of the time.

"I have read some interesting articles regarding brother-sister dynamics. Apparently, in some cultures the older brother takes the role of father, provider and protector when a younger sister reaches the age of sexual maturity. What do you think, Shinji-kun?" Rei asked in her quiet tone, smiling placidly at him.

The statement almost made him choke on his stew; he turned to look over at her with a dumbfounded expression, struggling for words. "I… I, um, I think I can't… afford… that, yet?" he tried desperately, searching for the right answer. Only afterwards did he notice Rei blinking at him with a serene smile, and it dawned on him.

"Wait, did you… did you just make a joke, Rei?" Her silent smile was his only answer, making Shinji smile widely at her. "Wow! That's gotta be a first!" He gave a few nervous barks of laughter until the sting iin his side made him remember he was still not fully healed.

Such details were never unnoticed by Rei, yet she chose to let it slide for the time being. Retribution would have to wait. "I was told attempts at humor are good ice breakers in a stressed environment."

The statement made Shinji at her. "Stressed? What do you mean, Rei?" he asked, noticing how she redirected her attention to the computer.

"I've noticed you are rather on edge when in my presence. I apologize if my efforts to ease your tension were not fruitful."

Shinji blinked again, surprised. Rei certainly knew how to read him like an open book, that or he was simply terrible at hiding his nervousness. He considered the latter.

"No, it's not that. It's just…" Shinji trailed off, not feeling particularly inclined to tell Rei why he was so edgy around her. The old sensation of fear and desire to withdraw snaked across his spine; once again he felt scared of causing a bad impression on someone by speaking his mind. Lately, however, he had been doing more and more things he was not normally comfortable with. Out with it. Don't run away, come on Shinji.

"It's just, I don't really know who you are, Rei. So it's… hard for me, I guess. I mean, are you the Rei I met when I got here, or are you the Rei from… from after the Sixteenth, or someone I've never met before? It's been eating at me for a while now, and I know it's not an excuse; I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful for… for everything, really but, um… I guess that's why I'm, you know, nervous…"

Rei looked pensive for a moment, making Shinji feel even more uncomfortable. From what he could see on her face, she did not appear upset or angered by his question, merely thoughtful. He waited patiently for her answer as he forced himself to swallow the bland stew in an effort to not appear as nervous as he was. Something was eating away at the back of his mind, something terrible, and he was trying his best to throw it back into the dark pit of his subconscious where all the other nameless horrors lived.

"I see," said Rei, cutting of his spiraling fall into oblivion. It had been happening less with every passing month, but Shinji was still unable to fully stop the memories, the hallucinations and the horror which consumed him. "You are correct. I have neglected to tell you, perhaps because I do not know myself, who I am."

She stared at him with detached calmness, not the usual cold stare but a sort of caring gaze, filled with endless patience and warmth to him. So inviting. So terrifying.

"I possess the memories of both my… predecessors, and the feelings of the Ayanami Rei who sacrificed herself during the Sixteenth's attack are alive within me," she admitted, feeling the burning sensation of her flushed cheeks. She had never admitted her feeling for him, after all. "But… I am not her, nor am I… the Rei who merged with Lilith. If I were to put it into words I'd simply say I am… Rei, your sister."

She smiled awkwardly at him, clearly uncomfortable herself with her declaration. Shinji would have blushed as well, had it not been for the force of the flashback that shook his entire being when Rei tentatively reached for his hand.

The moment her fingers made contact with his skin, Shinji was sent back to the Entry Plug, right after he had seen the remains of Unit 02 being devoured in front of him. There they were, the white monsters, staring at him without any eyes, covered in bluish blood and smiling. One blink and he was back at the dining room with Rei, her face growing increasingly concerned, while his grew pale. Another blink and he saw the monsters' maws open and reveal Rei's face. Butchered, half her brains spilling out, one eye dangling, they all stared at him with cold, deranged smiles. As Rei stood to run to his side, he saw Lilith rise from the clouds and glance at him with cold, mad crimson eyes.

The sheer clarity of the flashback made Shinji stumble and fall from his seat, disoriented as he was. They were all grinning at him, grinning with bloodied teeth and Asuka's blood and weapons stuck in their heads. Rei was beside him in a second, trying vainly to calm him down; so far gone was Shinji that he barely noticed her presence at all. He was immersed in the endless void of his mind, where the laughter of the monster that tormented him rang clear.

With fear gripping at his sanity and horrid images bleeding into his eyes, it took the pain in his abdomen to bring Shinji back to a semblance of reality. He blinked, eyes heavy, and upon recognizing Rei's face so close to his own, reclined backwards in pure shock. Yet another flashback pushed him against the rough material of the stool behind him. Amidst the confusing, and potentially sanity-consuming memories, the pain was the only reminder he was not in the Entry Plug, about to turn humanity into yellowish mush.

Get a hold of yourself, Asuka's voice sprung out of nowhere. Wake up, idiot. You're useless like this. Wake up. Wake up, Shinji. In between blinks, he managed to discern Rei's face fall into something akin to despair. Wake up. Wake up, Shinji!

SLAP.

Rei's saddened expression quickly melted into surprise at the sound. Did Shinji... did he just slap himself in the face? She stared wide-eyed at him, unsure of exactly how to assist him. She had been told of the strange episodes in which his eyes would get glassy and far away, but had not seen one with her own eyes since returning from Instrumentality. What was worse, she felt responsible for his pain, for he had been watching her when his eyes had turned cold and detached. Then, all of a sudden, he had hit himself with enough force to make the slap ring out across the nearly deserted dining area.

Shinji was breathing hard, as if he had just run a mile, and the red mark on his face seemed to only widen with every second and every slow, measured breath he took. He gulped and cleared his throat, shaking his head a bit. "They… they had your face…" he uttered, staring at his sister with dreadful, widened eyes. "The EVA Series, they… after they… killed Asuka… They had your face…" Again, the mocking glares flashed across Shinji's mind, forcing him to grip the left side of his head in order to clear it. "They were using your face…" The recollection was hazy, formerly locked deep within his psyche, but something about the way Rei had been staring at him made Shinji relive it.

Rei's hand hovered in the air for a moment, unsure whether to touch him or leave him be. It was, after all, her mere presence what had caused him to fall from his seat. Her hand twitched. I cannot do anything. Slowly, her fingers curled into a loose fist and dropped to her thigh. I cannot help him. How could I, if it my face that torments him so?

Resigned to her uselessness, Rei rose to leave and seek a nurse who could help Shinji without upsetting him further, but before she could her arm was caught in a steel grip. She suddenly felt her body being dragged over to Shinji's with remarkable force.

He hugged her before she could even realize what was happening; his right arm encircled her waist and made her stumble and fall almost heavily on his chest. Soon after, his left hand glided to the back of her head and pressed it hard against him. Rei lay sprawled against him; her head resting on his shoulder, her limbs paralyzed against his chest. His wound, she thought desperately, noticing her hand was pressed on his chest. She squirmed, trying to detach herself from Shinji, but he only dragged her closer to him.

"Um…" he whispered. His breath was warm against her ear, making her blush. "I'm so sorry, Rei." He held her tighter, hands curling into fists on her shirt. "It was my fault. I made you carry all the weight, everything. I didn't save the world; you did, when you saved me. I never thanked you for that, not either time, and not the way I should have."

Suddenly, Rei remembered the moment when they were just about to merge together in Third Impact. She remembered his handshake, his honest words of gratitude, and realized this was the first time she'd ever been hugged. Tears stung her eyes once again, for reasons she could not hope to fathom. In contrast to her inner turmoil, Shinji's presence was warm and comforting, making her forget everything.

"I'm sorry," he said again, gripping her forcefully as he tried not to break down. "I'm so sorry, Rei. For everything I made you go through, for everything you had to sacrifice to help me. I'm sorry I was such a wimp. I'll do better now, I promise."

Her brother's words made Rei realize that among the dark emotions that circled her stomach, most prominent when in the Second's presence, there was a bit of resentment towards Shinji himself. He had, after all, always looked at the Second. But he always talked to me, she realized, unconsciously hugging him back. He was always there for me, speaking with me, telling me to smile. Maybe it was because she reminded him of his mother, but the fact remained that Shinji seemed more at ease with her than with Asuka.

"I…" she stammered, tears falling hotly down her cheeks. "I… forgive you, Shinji. Nii-Nii-san."

The NERV employees here and there were not bothered by the strange scene unfolding before them, already accustomed to hearing screams, cries and sappy speeches on a daily basis. Maya, who had been wolfing down her stew, simply smiled at both teenagers and felt a weight lessen in her heart when she watched Shinji pick himself up from the ground, a hot blush of embarrassment on his cheeks, and help Rei back to her feet. If anything, it would be a good piece of gossip.

Shinji scratched the back of his head, gazing at Rei apologetically. "Um, sorry about that," he said, sitting back down. "I… um… sorry."

Rei dried her tears, smiling despite herself, and continued to type on her computer as if nothing had happened. "You apologize too much," she noted, turning to give him a small smile. He chuckled at her comment; the familiarity of it made him smirk all the more when he noticed just how often he heard that particular line.

"I get that a lot."

They continued with their lunch as if nothing had happened, yet both felt the strained atmosphere between them disappear, giving birth to a new aura of mutual acceptance.

---

NERV Medical Ward. Fourteenth day of recovery. 2:03am.

Pain exploded in her forehead the moment the Lance managed to pierce her AT-Field. She could feel the material of the blade digging into her flesh, piercing her eye socket with what felt like a boiling metal fork as it sunk beyond her skull. Before she realized it, her EVA's battery ran out and all her synch ratios, all her bravado and teamwork with Mama became nothing but despair, pure and unbidden. Blood soon dribbled down her face while she helplessly pulled on the control joints and clicked and clicked and clicked in utter terror.

The white vultures descended upon her and tore her belly open with their hands and teeth. The twelve thousand layers of armor accounted for nothing when the beasts' maws chewed on her flesh. God, why did it feel so painful? The battery was dead, why was she still feeling the pain as they devoured her, defiled her in every single way? Why was it so painful? Why now? It wasn't fair! Not any of it! Why was she being eaten?! Had she not suffered enough through her entire life, just to be ripped away from her one truly happy moment?! She was top pilot at last, the fate of the world depended on her strength, and she was being eaten alive!

Rage.

It consumed every sense she still had, cut through the pain and the anguish. It was so exquisite, to fall into the pit of utter black oblivion where nothing existed but her desire to kill and tear apart everything that hurt her. Her mind was able to connect to a deeper part of her EVA, beyond Mama, right down to the core of the monstrosity she piloted.

"I'll… kill you…"

She would, she would murder them, murder anyone who made her hurt, even Misato, even Shinji. She would kill these white fuckers with her bare hands if she had to, but her rage would not be sated. Mama urged her to stand down, to fall back, but she would have none of it, she would win.

"I'll… kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill you!"

The Lance cut through her arm with astounding precision, dividing her limb into two pieces with no difficulty in a single second. It was almost beautiful; for a moment, before blood exploded on her face and the pain of being impaled with seven more Lances rendered her senseless, she saw the sky glowing through her bisected arm. The firmament was gorgeous that day, it made her think of the many times she walked home with Shinji after school, those little moments where she was herself. She saw his face, and then the pain overwhelmed her.

This was the point where she usually woke up screaming and thrashing her bedding, but her nightmare had been turning into something else these past few days. Slowly, in the darkness of the Entry Plug, a heartbeat rumbled. She felt the pain dissipate again under the unrestrained rage, and before she knew it the blood permeating the LCL became LCL. Her EVA reactivated, impaled and dismembered as it was, and regenerated the damage with ease as her tormentors had done before. Mere seconds was all it needed to be fully operational. There was no battery now, just her and the endless possibilities of her EVA's power.

She leaped, no longer being able to differentiate between herself and the Evangelion, and bit down on one of the Eva Series' wings, taking them both to the ground. She made quick work of it, tore its limbs apart and smashed the core before the thing could even think of regenerating. She felt the blood soak her hands and liked it.

"More… Let me kill you some more… Give me more blood…"

Soon the other monsters landed upon her, Lances ready to strike, but she was too fast, too strong, too unstoppable. The power to smash the world into pieces was within her reach; these ugly tormentors would no longer cause her anguish, for she was the best, the strongest, she was unique, an elite pilot. One after the other she dismembered them, losing count of how many were left, losing focus of what she was using to destroy them. She was eating them, devouring them and consuming their cores, tearing their necks open with her teeth and jabbing her fingers into their faces. They squirmed and cried out in pain, but she only reveled in their agony.

"More. I'll kill you. I'll kill you some more… kill you all!"

Guts and organs flew about when she opened the third's belly with a snarling bite; blood gushed from the fourth's bloodied stump when she broke its arm and removed it from its socket with no more effort than it would take to open a door.

Soon she was down to the last one, the poor beast already lay on the ground, beaten half to death, missing both its wings and dragging its bloodied carcass along the ground on all fours. She kicked it, once, twice, thrice on the ribs, jabbing with the sole of her foot like she'd been taught and feeling as the ribs gave under her assault. One, two, three, four ribs broke and thrust into the EVA's lung. She straddled the helpless prey, salivating for the meal to come, and pressed her hand against its snout. The metal and flesh gave out and shredded under her palm with ease, it felt just like scrunching up a sheet of paper. The power was making her dizzy, almost drunk. She ripped the EVA's face off with a roar, but there was no skeleton under it. No gore welcomed the triumphant Second Child, only mind-numbing horror. There was no bloodied brain, no flesh; it wasn't even the EVA's body anymore.

It was Shinji's face.

She blinked and realized she was in a dark room illuminated by what appeared to be lamps hanging from the darkness. The EVA Series' bodies weren't their bodies anymore. Misato lay torn in pieces, her innards spilled out and an arm torn off. Ritsuko, Rei, her father, the Commander, Hikari, Kaji, Mama, all of them butchered. All those who had ever hurt her in any way lay shredded to pieces before her, and underneath her, Shinji was dying, barely breathing from the brutal beating he had received.

She wanted to scream in fear and repulsion but before she could, the floor opened and Unit 02's hand grabbed her while its jaws opened and devoured the corpses of the people she had known. She watched in dread and helplessness as Shinji's limp form was crushed and swallowed. The Beast ogled at her with four deranged eyes and opened its jaws again. Terror overpowered her mind as the fangs came down on her flesh-

At last, the ability to scream and move returned to her, and the world came back into focus in a painful flash. Asuka screamed, trying to tear off whatever it was that was holding her arm, oblivious to the pain on her side. Pure adrenaline blocked out everything but the basic need to fight or flight.

"-uka, It's okay! You're okay, listen to me! Calm down, you'll tear your stitches open!"

Shinji's voice somehow severed her state of utter anxiety, making her realize her side really did hurt. Her nails were digging into his flesh with brutal force, but she could not yet relax her hold or even any other part of her body. The nightmare was still vivid in her eyes, the images not yet dissipated from her consciousness.

"Deep breaths, deep breaths. Try to relax, it's wasn't real. You're here with me, you're alive, I'm alive, it was just another nightmare…"

This had been the new pattern they had fallen into; given both their nightmares were so life-like and horrible. The pair had their good nights, their bad nights, and their awful nights. Since the former pilots were not allowed to share a bed to stifle the screams and anchor themselves to the warmth of another human being, they settled for waking each other up by whatever means they could. Shinji's nightmares were particularly deep and painful, but lately she'd been experiencing a worsening in her own night terrors. As if reliving her worst battles and Shinji's torment by her hand weren't enough, now her mixed feelings towards piloting Unit 02 were leaking an extra component to her subconscious.

"Deep breaths, slow, deep, remember?"

She did as instructed for once, and took lungful after slow lungful of air until she was able to feel her body again, to discern between the foot of her hospital bed and the pulsing of Shinji's heart caught in her hand. Asuka finally came to, and before she could help it a strangled sob escaped her throat.

She did not cry, though. Shinji's hand was warm and comfortable on her back, but being closer to him would have helped her relax even more. It was still strange to her, to admit the Great Sohryu Asuka Langley needed someone, especially someone like him. Regardless, it did make her feel better to open up, even if she would never admit it, or thank the idiot for that matter.

Thinking about him made Asuka notice she still hadn't released Shinji's arm from her tight hold; her fingers were still digging deeply into his skin. It filled her with dread and disgust, forcing her to relieve that horrible moment of her nightmare, so she dropped his arm as if it burned. The idiot looked surprised, even puzzled, but the only thing she could think of was the reddened area around his wrists, where her nails had dug in the deepest and a dribble of blood was coming out.

"Crap," she whispered. "Wonder Girl is gonna bitch at me for that tomorrow…"

The idiot blinked at her again, then smiled awkwardly and sat at the edge of her bed. Secretly, her heart beat just a bit faster when he was so close. It was nice to see him take the initiative for once. "It's okay," he said with a lopsided smile. "It wasn't your fault. I was the one shaking you."

He was so lucky; his stitches had already been removed once more, and his bones were mending quite nicely according to both the Bitch Doctor and the Bitch Nurse. He could get up and train, stretch his muscles and sweat and just feel alive. She, on the other hand, still had about two days to go before she could get up and stretch like a normal fucking person, and about an extra three days of being injected with the serum before she could even think of exercise.

Asuka sighed resignedly, lost in the feeling of Shinji's presence near her. Even the way he smelled was stuck in her brain now. Two months ago he wouldn't have had the courage to wake me up, she thought to herself, and now here he is, sitting on my bed and stroking my back. He was purposely putting himself in harm's way for her sake; this particular hedgehog had a keen love for pain it seemed, that or its skin had become impervious to her spikes. Whatever the case, Asuka could not be happier for it.

The silence between them had long since become comfortable. Shinji understood that when she needed to talk, or share something, she would; not a moment before she was ready. He respected her space, didn't push except when needed. He had somehow grown so much these past few days that it surprised her. Or perhaps it was her not raising her walls as highly anymore. Not for him.

Shinji himself was a bit tired; he'd been dozing off into a deep dream the moment he heard Asuka begin to mutter. Before their strange rekindling a while before, the only time he had tried to help during her nightmares they had ended up having sex for the first time. It had not been particularly unpleasant, yet it had been far from an escape for him. After that, she would usually come to him, not the other way around. No running away, he mused to himself. No running away from her.

His muscles were still sore from his new 'voluntary' training plan. Apparently, his body had been in such a deplorable state when Asuka had broken his ribs that the blunt trauma alone had collapsed his entire metabolism. He hadn't been taking proper care of himself, making his body weak and his bones more vulnerable. The sleepless nights and stress of her psychological abuse was just the cherry on top of the disaster ice-cream he had been. Now, however, he had a training schedule which included daily exercise at least once a day, hand-to-hand combat and self defense -courtesy of Asuka, strangely enough- and yoga.

Yoga, he had realized, was by far the worst of it. He had zero flexibility in his muscles, but according to his instructor it was the only way to ensure his diaphragm, lungs and abdomen healed properly. It was still torture, though.

"I saw my mother dangling from a rope when I was seven years old."

The statement was uttered in such a flat tone that it shook Shinji out of his own internal musing like an earthquake. The meaning sunk in a second afterwards; Shinji's hand stopped its circling motion around Asuka's back and almost balled into a fist.

"She was always looking at that doll after the 'incident' with Unit 02. Always stuck in that hospital room, talking to it, looking at it. I hate dolls. And I fucking hate hospitals." She too had clenched her hands, but her tone remained stoic, almost monotone. "The day she killed herself, I was told I was going to be a pilot."

Slowly, Shinji managed to relax his hand. He felt utterly useless somehow, as if Asuka, who was right there beside him, was miles away from him in a faraway land he could not hope to reach. He didn't know what to say, how to react to what she was saying, so he simply sat where he was, waiting for her to continue.

"I was so happy about it, too. I don't really remember her being there with me that much. She was always busy with Unit 02, and after she-" Asuka paused, and sighed dejectedly, "-after she went crazy she never saw me anymore, never held me. But I remembered, I remembered she was the best person in my world, the sweetest woman I can think of."

Asuka's last words sent a jolt down the young man's spine. He remembered having described his mother before with almost the exact same words. Even then, he could recall his mother's smile, so warm and filled with love. So deceitful. Still, he did not know how to comfort her, how to relate to her.

"But…" she said quietly. "If she was such a sweet woman, why did she only reach out to me at the very end? Why didn't she protect me, absorb me or something?" Silent, bitter tears betrayed her; they fell down her cheeks and dripped down her chin.

"It sounds kinda crazy, but I can't help but feel it was all…planned. I know the specifics now, what happened to her mind and her soul and body, but why did she kill herself on that day? Isn't it weird that she would traumatize me to only relate to EVA? Isn't it weird she just made me feel warm inside the Entry Plug, but never revealed herself to me?" Her voice broke, finally betraying her. How humiliating, to be crying in front of Shinji of all people on almost a daily basis. She told herself this, yet felt no shame or revulsion whatsoever. His hand was still on her back, though, holding her steady. Back then, he was so used to her snapping and biting at him that he'd just left her alone.

"I guess… she left me to die on purpose, just so SEELE's little plan could come through. But… but in the end she… she saved me… I don't get it…" Suddenly she felt as if Shinji was absent, he stood almost petrified on his perch by her bedside, his arm paralyzed on her back. Maybe he was still a wimp, after all. Maybe you're just too stupid to see trusting people is useless, she thought bitterly. I'm better off on my own.

"Ugh," she grunted. "Why am I saying this to you anyways? It's not like you'll do anything."

Suddenly another memory slashed through Shinji's train of thought. It was something he'd seen in Asuka's mind, in her memory. "Why are you even here!? You won't do anything!" Somehow he managed to shake himself out of the sudden shock which had overtaken him. "You won't help me! You won't even hold me!"

Move, he ordered his body. Move, help her you idiot.

"I don't even know why I bothe-"

Before she could finish her sentence, she felt her body being pulled close to Shinji's, felt his arm drag her into a comfortable embrace without warning. He was careful to not upset her injured side, and yet he had managed to catch her off guard. Whatever she was saying died in her throat when he placed his chin on top of her hair. She breathed into his shirt and swallowed down a sob and an angry retort.

"I saw my mom die," Shinji said after a few heartbeats, almost too low for her to hear. "I saw it. I was there that day, when Unit 01 swallowed her up." He held her a bit tighter, not really controlling what came out of his mouth anymore. "Before Third Impact, all I could remember of her was her smile, not even her face. I was told she took me to NERV that day because she wanted me to see the future of mankind. Instead I saw when her image blurred and that thing ate her whole. I thought for so long she was the only person in the world who could understand me, or care for me. In the end she was worse than father, even manipulating him to get what she wanted."

Asuka shifted in his grip, slightly taken aback. "What did she want?" she asked.

Shinji shrugged. "To show me a world filled with snow. Or to be god. Or to let me be god. Who knows? She was working with SEELE way before Father did; so she knew what they were planning all along, she was part of it. I thought she was planning against it at first; I tried to convince myself that she did it for me, to protect me. Maybe she believed Instrumentality was the only way and then changed her mind, or maybe she just wanted to protect me however she could, even if that meant being inside the EVA, I don't know…"

Asuka shifted under his embrace, slowly melting into him and letting her head rest on his chest. Her hand unconsciously went to his ribs, where the bandages were located, while her other snaked around his waist and brought him closer. He still twitched when she touched him, especially around his scar, but it didn't bother her as much as it had before. One of these days he'd get used to it, too.

She felt him swallow the lump in his throat; the idiot probably had his brain in the gutter again, thinking perverted thoughts. It made little difference to her, though. Igniting those kind of emotions in him had long since stopped being disgusting; if anything, she reveled in the fact that he still found her attractive, even after all she'd put him through. Him talking about his mother so openly with her was also a sign that his walls were all but destroyed when she was concerned.

"I… I never really remembered what she told me the day before she disappeared, not until Instrumentality, but that day we went to the zoo…" He gave a big, defeated sigh and held her just a bit tighter. "It was really hot, I was sweating so much, even with her umbrella it was so hot, and she promised me something. She promised I'd see a world with snow, a world with happiness. She told me to be happy."

Asuka's heart felt heavy in her chest as Shinji continued. "Instrumentality was her way of giving that world to me, I guess. Maybe it doesn't really matter anymore, though. She's gone, forever, and being mad at a dead person can be so exhausting… I think it's better if I just keep remembering her like I do, as my mother."

Strangely enough, it was sound advice, coming from him. "You know," she replied, slightly amazed. "I never realized you stopped being a wimp some time ago." His words lately, his actions, were particularly mature, making Asuka reconsider her own behavior half the time. If they were going to stick together, after all, she could not just sit and be given everything while not changing at all.

"Wha-" he started, surprised. That could honestly be the first sincere compliment she had given him, aside from telling him about his cooking. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged as casually as she possibly could, given her current situation, and brought him a bit closer. "It's just… back then you wouldn't have done this, or known what to say. I guess I can't call you a wimp anymore…" She felt a slight chuckle rumble in his chest and for an instant worried, and then felt guilty for it all over again. Shinji, though, took no notice of it.

"I think you beat the wimp out of me, Asuka," he answered, amused. She pinched him on his side with her left hand for his smartassery, but didn't move from their comfortable position. Guilt weighted heavily on her mind, which in turn made her feel ridiculous considering Shinji held no grudge against her whatsoever.

"You forgive people too easily," she whispered. "But it's still nice to see you're not a scrawny little boy anymore." Thank you, she thought to herself. The shame and guilt fell in comparison to being able to share such closeness with another human being. With him. Thanks for putting up with me.

"Um… thanks… I-umm…" Shinji muttered. He was blushing like mad, his face felt so hot he thought he'd have a nosebleed soon enough. It was taking all of his self-control not to overload on the fact that he had not only been able to share a deep trauma with Asuka and successfully address one of their darkest secrets, but he was closer to her than he'd been in days, and his hormones were acting up. "You… you're…" he swallowed, trying to keep his shaking under control. "You're really beautiful, you know…"

He felt Asuka's hand tense at his side, and for a wild moment thought she would revert back to their old arrangement and re-set the bones of his thoracic box with a few punches. Instead, her hand relaxed against him, but her body slackened somehow, as if a great deal of stress had just left her shoulders. "Smooth, idiot, real smooth," she replied sarcastically. "Like I'll believe that. Remember the scars?"

Clear frustration won over his nervousness in a second. At times like these Shinji truly felt like kicking himself. Insecurity from her, really? As if she hadn't just gotten a bit taller and fuller on these past few months, whereas he had been shrinking like a dried up prune. She was truly beautiful, with her long legs and creamy skin that was soft as velvet to the touch, those angry blue eyes of hers, so captivating and just so alive with emotion, soft, pink lips, and delicate but strong hands. Then there was the hair, that weird blend of auburn and red that shined almost golden under the summer sun, supple to the touch and always with a fruity scent. Asuka was irresistible.

"Are you kidding me?" he said with an annoyed edge in his voice. "Nothing could make you stop being beautiful. Especially not those."

He flushed fiercely as soon as the words left his mouth. It was rare when he spoke without thinking, and when he did he truly sounded as idiotic as Asuka accused him of being. Maybe she'll kick some more sense into me, he thought dispassionately. Her arms, however, never left his body.

He really believes that, Asuka mused. He's a true idiot, liking someone like me. But I guess I'm a bit of an idiot myself. She would never openly request for someone to reaffirm her self-confidence, but with Shinji she didn't have to. He understood her, somehow, or at least tried to, even when he got hurt in the process.

"What are you, stupid?" she whispered, biting back another urge to cry. "Like you know anything about that."

Her stubbornness never ceased to amaze Shinji, but he had long since gotten used to it. Nowadays, it entertained him of all things. "I know what I like," he said a bit firmly, as firmly as his nerves allowed him to. "And I know you're, um… really beautiful."

Asuka said nothing else, but remained close, breathing in deeply and letting the strain of her nightmare wash away. They stayed like that for a while, shifting only to get more comfortable. Before any of them realized it, Shinji was lying on his back, having reclaimed half of her bed, and most of her body was now sandwiched between him and the mattress. Her wound felt less painful with his body heat soaking into it, even the stitches didn't sting as much. Her right arm had somehow snaked its way under his shirt, her left lay on the mattress while his arm was loosely holding her underneath her hip. This was the closest they'd been in a long time, and the first time he held her just as tightly as she held him.

Usually, after they were intimate Asuka would hold him just like this, but never allowed him to touch her until she fell asleep. The one time he'd dared she had hospitalized him, and yet a month afterwards they were cuddling together, and he had saved her life in more ways than one. She would sometimes cry on his bare chest after he had nodded off, she remembered, out of the pure shame of having used Shinji in the lowest of ways imaginable. But now was completely different and, she had to admit, infinitely better.

She was almost dozing off, her hand lying comfortably on Shinji's chest, when she heard him gulp and shift about nervously. He seemed keen on removing at least the lower half of his body from her reach, but Asuka was having none of it. She crawled a bit closer to him, to the point where she was almost snaked around both his legs. Then she discovered the source of Shinji's discomfort. His erection bulged again her leg, making her blush deep crimson, which could only mean he was probably redder than her hair.

"So, um…" she started, feeling the familiar heat deep within her navel. "I guess you're having perverted thoughts, huh?" She tried to use her teasing tone, yet her voice betrayed her as it quivered in the end.

Shinji gulped yet again; his heart was hammering against his chest and for once he didn't even feel the pain in his chest. "Ah, well… I, it's because… um, you know… you…" Say it, he commanded himself. What's the worst she could do, hit you? She did plenty of that already. The dark whisper of the monster in his mind almost made him forget where he was. But what if she hurts you some more? It spoke with his childish voice, a tiny shrill containing all his fear of being vulnerable. He frowned at himself and thought; say it, say it you wimp.

Asuka waited for his answer more out of embarrassment than patience. She was sure he could feel her nervousness, for her hand quivered lightly against his chest. He always did that, he thought of what he would say to each person, always trying not to say the wrong thing.

Shinji took a deep breath, holding onto Asuka and hoping she would not combust against him, and dove into the void. "I just find you really attractive, and being like this after so long, I… um, I guess it expands when you're this close."

Asuka tried hard not to laugh, but a few giggles did escape her lips. Boy, his choice of words was something else, truly.

"Hey!" Shinji half-pouted, pinching her lightly on her lower back. "It's the truth, okay?" He huffed, trying to squirm away from her, but was stopped cold when she gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

"It's fine," she said while readjusting on his chest. "I guess it can't be helped. I don't…really mind it, Ba-ka."

He relaxed a bit after that, yet Asuka remained nervous and more than a little uncomfortable. In all honesty, she had scarcely bothered to make sure he got his pleasure during their sexual encounters, she'd cared only about herself, running away from pain with the bliss he provided.

"I…" she said slowly. Her hand lowered bit by bit, beyond the rough material of his bandages, almost to his navel. "I could, you know… um," Her fingers twitched against the light ridges of his abdomen. He was developing his muscle mass quite nicely since he had started attending physical therapy. The thought of it turned her cheeks even redder but she could not deny it; he made her have perverted thoughts too.

It felt like it was too soon though, too soon for that, and it made Asuka nervous. Shinji was still quiet against her, breathing shallowly, with his heart almost jumping out of his chest. Stop being a sissy, she reprimanded herself. Do it, tell him. Even if the idiot refused, she had to somehow let him know it was possible, that she didn't want the sick arrangement from before.

It's his, all of it, the voice said to her. The young pilot never listened to that particular area of her brain; she presumed due to it being her common sense. All of it, Asuka. All of you. All of me.

"I…" It was Asuka's turn to gulp; she forced her trembling hand a bit lower. Why was she so damn nervous? What the hell was wrong with her? "I could, um, help with that if, if you want…" Almost her whole body twitched in fear. God, she was not ready, not yet. She kept thinking of that scene in the hospital before Third Impact for whatever reason, and the guilt made her even more afraid he would just reject her or act disgusted, as she had so many times before.

But Shinji didn't do any of those things; he took a gentle hold of her hand and guided it back to his chest. She felt his whole body relax against her, felt his erection nudge against her belly. Goosebumps traveled all the way through her skin, making her feel light-headed. In all honesty, no amount of synch ratios would provide her half as much comfort as being where she was. No Unit 02 could possibly offer her this.

Shinji's hand squeezed her own through his shirt. "Thanks, I'd… like that. Maybe later on, though. Is that okay?" Is this okay? Shinji thought, almost reaching his ultimate level of inner nervousness. He forced himself to lower his heartbeat and tried not to dwell on the feeling of her breasts resting against him, or the warm hand snuggled on his chest. "Please don't take it the wrong way, I could feel you shaking, you know."

Even more surprising to Shinji was feeling her nod against him. "I don't want you to think it's like, um… before…" Asuka finished lamely, tugging lightly against the fabric of his shirt. Soon after, she felt his arm tighten around her waist. The idiot was always so careful with her wound, the same way she had been when she jumped into bed with him that time of the horrible nightmare. She felt his lips come in contact with her hair as his hand threaded between her auburn locks.

"Trust me," he whispered back. "I know it's not." He breathed into her hair and sunk deeper in the embrace, no longer caring about nightmares, SEELE, Third Impact or anything that didn't smell like fresh strawberries and home.

Both soon started to nod off, not before Asuka chuckled one last time for that night. "He... he… Ritsuko's not gonna like this…" she told Shinji, who had already begun to breathe deep and rhythmically.

"I don't care," he answered, drifting off. "I don't care one bit."

---

Misato and Ritsuko gazed at the security camera feed coming from the hospital room, one with a slight smile and the other with an uninterested frown.

"I don't like this," Ritsuko said tersely while typing on her laptop. Rei was indisposed at the moment, leaving her with almost twice the work to complete before her lunch. "I specifically told them they were not to share bedding space for two more days," she elaborated, turning her attention back to the screen and ignoring both her friend and the video feed.

Misato, for her part, could barely contain the grin that threatened to split her face in half. There they were, her two young charges, locked in the cutest cuddle she'd seen in too long. For once in eight months, perhaps more, she saw very little of the dark rings which generally formed around Asuka and Shinji's eyes. They looked content, almost like a normal teenage couple starting to fall into its rhythm. A part of Misato continued to feel unease at the concept of Asuka and Shinji entering a serious relationship, and she wasn't about to go and ruin their happy morning for a fear which faded almost daily nowadays.

"Whatever," said the Commander. "I'll arrange a king-sized bed for the brats."

"What?!" Misato's head finally snapped back to her, purplish locks flying everywhere, and her wide, surprised eyes locked onto Ritsuko's bored gaze.

That's how you get a strained neck, mused Ritsuko. And here it comes... Misato's concern for Shinji's physical integrity when in the presence of the volatile Second Child made itself known.

"Are you crazy?! What if they…! Ah, what if they-"

"Have sex?" The Commander cut her off mid-sentence, making the other woman flinch. "You didn't seem to care all this time; suddenly you have a problem with it? Given their physical condition, that would be close to impossible for the next week. Afterwards, as long as they don't bang at your rhythm they should be fine."

Misato's jaw slackened by simply hearing how casual the doctor sounded; she made it seem like it was nothing to worry about. "But-but, you know what happened before!" The Sub-commander's voice thundered in the office, making Ritsuko cringe.

"Yes. Sure, I know what happened," said Ritsuko. "I can dissect it with big psychological words and pretend that I'm entitled to have a saying, let alone an opinion, about the relationship of two of the three most traumatized human beings on the planet. Asuka had terrible nightmares, the likes of which you and I can't even begin to understand, and used him for comfort, dominated him and demeaned him by projecting her inner turmoil onto him, as she'd done since they met, period. He let her do it, and escaped into the routine of forgetting everything but her abuse, period. It escalated, it turned sicker, as you would expect from kids like them, and now-"

Her laptop beeped, making her lose focus and interest in the conversation. She typed away and left the Sub-commander with a growing vein pulsing on her forehead and the unfinished sentence gnawing at her mind.

After half a minute, Misato exploded. "What?!" she screamed, losing her patience. "'And now' what?!"

Ritsuko blinked. "Now what, what?" The vein pulsing in the Sub-commander's head seemed just about ready to burst, she noted idly. It took her brilliant brain a second to remember their conversation. "Oh. Yes. The brats. "Well," she began, feeling Misato's glare on the side of her head. "Look at these."

She handed Misato a handful of neatly-organized documents. Rei was surprisingly gifted at sorting out things in an orderly manner. The girl was painstakingly meticulous as far as work went, which in turn eased Ritsuko's load of responsibilities.

The doctor-turned-commander continued to type as Misato went through the pages as quickly as her eyes could read. "Those are Shinji's test results the day he was admitted to the hospital, the day he left, and the last one is yesterday's physical." Ritsuko pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to discern between the many mathematical variables on her screen. She gave it a rest and occupied the remaining part of her brain in explaining the situation to her old friend.

"When Asuka broke his ribs he was severely dehydrated and seven kilograms under his ideal weight. The stress had already begun to affect his basic motor functions and most of his muscles were atrophied, which only worsened considering he was barely eating." Misato's eyes widened exponentially as she both read the data and listened to her friend. "Asuka didn't even have to use that much force to break his bones, since he was already starting to develop a considerable calcium deficiency. His whole body was at the brink of collapsing, beating or no beating. Another month or so like that and his heart would've probably given out."

Misato gulped as she turned the pages and read on. These numbers, they were terrible!

Ritsuko continued, her voice dispassionate. "Shinji's leukocyte count was on the ground, literally. The flu would've turned into pneumonia in a day or two, had he gotten sick. He was bottling up so much stress he ended up with an ulcer in his stomach some time ago; that's why he was vomiting blood, well... that and the punctured lung. His body was technically eating itself, since he barely ate anything, another reason why his muscles were so reduced. To this day I still can't understand how he survived for eight months with the level of stress his mind and body. Now, since the… ah… incident with Asuka, he's only a couple kilograms away from his ideal weight, he's gained muscle mass, we got the calcium deficiency under control, and he should make a full recovery if he doesn't skip yoga every time he can. The serum is incredible, true, but the serum can't force him to eat, or train, or take better care of himself."

Numbers rarely lied, and the numbers on the following page only proved Ritsuko right. The boy's immune system was almost back to normal, his bones were mending with surprising speed, the lesion on his lung had all but closed with no infections or complications, the ulcer had disappeared, his heart was at a hundred percent, and his diaphragm was healing faster than they'd anticipated. Plus, his metabolism seemed keen on catching up with the months of starvation, which could only mean Shinji was not only eating; he was eating with an appetite for once.

There was still information for Ritsuko to summarize. "Asuka might've looked healthy, but her liver had been deteriorating long before the bullet even hit her; I'm assuming the inflammation was due to stress. Two knuckles of her right hand were fractured a long time ago, and did not heal correctly. Had it not been for Shinji, assuming he was the one who reset her bones, she wouldn't be able to move those fingers at all. She was also severely paranoid; her teeth were starting to fissure from her clenching her jaw so much. Just to name a few of her issues-"

"So what you're saying," interrupted the former Major. "Is that they're good for each other? I wish I could believe that, I really do Ritsu, but Asuka almost killed Shinji with her bare hands for touching her. She broke his fingers that time, too, I guarantee it."

"Dislocated," interjected the Commander. "She dislocated one of his fingers, she didn't break both."

"It doesn't matter! If they're so good for each other's health, how come this happened!?" Misato retorted, holding out the Children's health charts. "How come they've both been wasting away all this time?!"

"How should I know?" answered Ritsuko calmly, unaffected by Misato's anger. She stared at her friend and colleague square in the eye. "I'm not their guardian, I'm their doctor."

Misato's eyes widened again; her anger dissipated as soon as it'd come, leaving her once more with the heavy guilt of incompetence on her shoulders. She looked at the ground, at the screen, at anything that wasn't Ritsuko's cold stare, where the cold truth waited patiently. Her friend was right, after all.

"So you're telling it's a good thing they're spooning now?" Misato snapped back at last.

Once again, Ritsuko shrugged and refocused her attention on the laptop's screen. "I don't think it's a good or bad thing. I don't really care either way, as long as they're not tearing open their wounds. Look, these kids are public figures, public targets. We're the ones that put them through hell and left them to deal with our pile of shit. If they want to spoon, cuddle, kiss or fuck I think we owe it to them to let them be as happy as they can be. At the very least. They look pretty damn happy to me right now, don't they?"

The Commander didn't bother to look, but Misato did turn again to watch both teens snuggle comfortably in the rather small bed. "I suppose so..." She had to admit it; both Asuka and Shinji's health were improving by simply solving the issues with each other. The evidence was right there for her to see.

"Then that's all that matters right now. Asuka and Shinji held it in, all of it, Third Impact and the war against the Angels, for this whole time, just trying to survive what happened to the world. What we did to the world. It's only logical the dam broke at some point, that's why they're crying and making up on a daily basis, Misato."

Ritsuko sighed once more when she remembered the disturbing information her contact had provided a few days back. The complexity of the scenario to ensure the Children's survival breached the suicidal, but SEELE's moves as of late were equally as dangerous either way. There was nothing to lose, nothing she hadn't already lost or given up, but keeping information from her friend was becoming increasingly torturous to her. In an effort to ease her aching head, Ritsuko decided to at least inform Misato of everything she could.

"Anyway, we've got bigger things to worry about." After finishing her sentence, Ritsuko pressed Enter on her laptop and the office's screen turned to Unit 02.

The Evangelions had always been fearsome, indeed, but now Unit 01 paled in comparison to the bestial visage of Asuka's EVA. Chunks of reddish armor were still fused into its muscles, which bulged in a way they never had before, ripped and powerful. The core was exposed and pulsing, beating ever so slowly, giving the monstrous Evangelion an even more lively appearance. The new armor barely fit some areas around the shoulders, legs and chest; here and there scars were visible in the regenerated tissue, and circular patches that showed where the Lances had pierced stood out clearly on its leathery skin.

The surviving armor covering its left arm had somehow merged with the new flesh in some areas, making the skin around the EVA appear thicker and more resistant. The right arm stood out with a gruesome diagonal scar which traveled all the way down to its shoulder, where the armor had all but been absorbed into the new limb. It was difficult to see places around the body without deep scratches and healed lacerations, but the marks kept shrinking and fizzing right before the Sub-Commander's unbelieving gaze as the Beast continued to regenerate.

The new Entry Plug had arrived the day before and the tech crews were pulling double shifts to install it as soon as possible, along with the power restraints. Each and every one of them carried a fearful or worried expression whenever they were forced to get too close to one of Unit 02's teeth or eyes. From time to time, the visible pupils moved lazily from one person to the other, never lingering anywhere too long. The face, if it could be called such, showed a large scar on its forehead, glaring in blazing red between two of its four opened eyes.

Upon a closer look, Misato felt her lunch try to escape her stomach when she noticed chunks of flesh still trapped between the EVA's fangs, sticking out of its closed jaws. There were no lips, just gums and long, razor-sharp teeth, most of which were hidden away beneath the hideous mouth. It looks like it's smiling, Misato thought with disgust. More than face, it looked like an animal's snout, a satisfied animal if the Sub-Commander didn't know better.

She frowned at the screen. "I never did like EVAs, but this one looks like something from a horror movie." Four gleaming, greenish eyes glared straight at her with animalistic intelligence, the grotesque grin on the EVA's jaws seemed to widen when the crew finished installing the lower half of the facial mask. "I don't remember it having a mouth, Ritsu."

Ritsuko snorted at Misato's comment. "That's what you're worried about? How it looks, or if it has a mouth? Here I was thinking the fact that this thing regenerated itself and ate nine petrified Evangelions after being torn to pieces would be more concerning. Or the fact that it's letting us cover it with armor again, or the fact that it devoured whatever was left of Lilith. But you're right, it does look fucking disgusting."

Misato rolled her eyes, but her frown seemed to only deepen with every second she spent looking at the EVA. "You know what I'm talking about. We can't possibly put anyone in there; that thing, it's aware, isn't it?"

"It is," Ritsuko agreed. "And we don't really have a choice. The way I see it, if Unit 02 were ever to decide we're a nuisance, there isn't a weapon at our disposal to stop it or so much as slow it down. Maybe if we nuked the Geo-front we'd buy humanity a month, tops. Simply put, this EVA has enough power to make a small Fourth Impact by itself, should it want to, but that's the thing."

"What is?" Misato asked, concerned. She sometimes hated how Ritsuko was almost always right.

"Evangelions have no will, no desires nor goals, no true consciousness. They're clones, incomplete beings, that's why they need a human will to function and this… thing… knows exactly whose will it wants."

The doctor produced another handful of sheets. As far as Misato could see, they contained nothing but big, bald printed words. "This came though yesterday at about two in the morning, when we were installing the interface with the EVA's core."

The shock that overcame the Sub-commander upon reading the words, printed in black ink through the entire page, rendered her speechless and froze the blood flowing through her veins.

.ASUKA. GIVE ME ASUKA.

.ASUKA.

.ASUKA. I AM ASUKA.

.ASUKA. GIVE ME ASUKA.

"It came straight from the core; that thing managed to access the MAGI's basic operative system and printed out those words through every printer in the Geo-Front. Those exact words, over and over again." Ritsuko's voice managed to detach the former Major from her momentary paralysis enough to process what she was listening.

"We can't let it have Asuka," Misato concluded, but didn't sound convinced even to her own ears.

"Quite the contrary," retorted Ritsuko. "I don't think it's asking our opinion on the matter, or if it even cares we exist. Kyoko's not in there anymore, I can assure you, but something else is. My hypothesis is that the EVA's core evolved during Third Impact, the massive amounts of LCL must've reactivated its basic survival instinct on some level. It transformed into an S2 engine, and grew some type of consciousness with Asuka's memories. It doesn't need Asuka's soul or her body, it wants her will; it wants her to pilot it."

"That sounds ridiculous," commented Misato, feeling increasingly anxious. "I'm not letting Asuka near that thing, or anyone else for that matter. We should blow it up while we can."

Ritsuko gave a dry chuckle. "Really? With what, exactly? The twenty N2 bombs we've got left?" she asked sarcastically. "And how do you propose we fight this?" Another click and the feed showed the image of a black humanoid figure, large as a battleship, standing in the midst of a crater and a desolated land, red eyes gleaming. "Or these?" Another click. Ships, thirty of them at the very least, two jet-carriers as far as she could see, armored battleships, several armored helicarriers, followed by at about a dozen jets.

"War is coming. We can't ask Asuka to kill people for us; but the way I see it we might not have another choice. If SEELE gets its hand on Unit 02, the way it's evolved; they could recreate Instrumentality in a few years, should they wish to, or produce two or three copies and basically rule the world with them. The possibilities are endless."

Misato crumpled the papers in her hand, frowning deeply at the ground. "Can't they get a break? For once, can't they just be left alone?" she asked her friend.

Ritsuko sighed and closed her laptop. "I wish I could tell you we can handle this without their help. I wish I could tell you the Dummy System might work on Unit 02, but I'd be lying. I've done enough of that already, Misato." She rose from her chair, placing a comforting hand on the other woman's shoulder while her left held onto the small computer. "This is the last time they'll have to go through something like this. And if they don't want to pilot, we'll try to destroy it, I swear. I won't force them." She squeezed Misato's shoulder one last time and left the spacious office.

Before she reached the door, the doctor heard Misato sigh loudly. "I'll talk to them," she said, defeated. "I hope they choose not to fight. They deserve to be happy."

"They do," Ritsuko agreed from the door. "But life doesn't care; you have to fight for the things that make you happy."

---

NERV Medical Ward. Third Week of Recovery. Visitation Day.

The smell of antiseptic and utter cleanliness always managed to make Toji uncomfortable. He detested hospitals, having been stuck in one for his last days before Third Impact, along with having his younger sister admitted to one long before he was recruited as cannon fodder for NERV. Kensuke fidgeted about on his left; the spectacled boy pressed the buttons of his newest electric device, some sort of miniature camera, while he looked about the hospital walls with a worried expression on face.

Hikari, seated beside him, carried a packed bento box wrapped in a flowery handkerchief to keep it warm. Who the food was for, he did not know yet, but he did know it smelled invitingly delicious, and the scent comforted him in the otherwise sterile environment.

Getting a visit had been surprisingly difficult this time around. Not only were the Commander and Sub-Commander too busy to help them, the entire base was on high alert, so aside from the bureaucracy and paperwork they'd had to present -surprisingly low, thanks to the depleted population- they had been forced to wait a week for some sort of investigation to be over, and had been frisked down to the bento box upon arriving at the headquarters.

In retrospect, Toji and the others were lucky to be even allowed in so soon after an assassination attempt on their friends' lives, but the waiting had been gnawing at him for days. It was becoming more frequent nowadays; he would call Shinji's house in an attempt to remove him from what he believed to be an unhealthy place for his friend, and more often than not Shinji was in the hospital, being treated for this or that.

In Toji's recollection, this was the first time they were visiting because Asuka was hospitalized, not Shinji. True, the boy's physical therapy was more easily handled within the confines of the Geo-Front, but his condition was not by any means critical. The young jock had heard from one of the nurses how Shinji had been the one to carry the injured Second Child out of danger, how he'd gotten up in the middle of the shooting with her in his arms and ran down to the ambulance while the shooter was still trying to splatter their brains out.

The thought of it made Toji huff and frown, which in turn alerted Hikari. Instead of her usual pig-tails, she had chosen to wear her hair loose that day, since there was a comfortable cool breeze around the city, for once.

Hikari took Toji's clenched hand in hers. "Is everything okay?" she asked, concerned.

He blinked, staring at her in surprise, but with the shadow of the frown on his brow. "Yeah, yeah," he answered, taking hold of her hand. "I was just thinking about Shin-man. He's something else, going down all those steps by himself." He huffed, turning to look at his friend. "Isn't that right, Kensuke?"

The other boy, completely deaf to their conversation, blinked and turned to look at Toji. "Eh?" he uttered, confused. "What was that?"

"Geez, you're really out of it today, man. I thought you loved coming to the Geofront, specially with your new camera."

Hikari blinked, noticing for the first time how strangely pale Kensuke looked. "Is everything okay, Kensuke-kun?" she asked him. "You look distracted."

Kensuke blinked at the both of them for a second before he raised his hands apologetically. "No, I'm fine, really, it's just…" he looked at the camera in his hand, the one he'd been able to salvage without so much as a scratch from an electronics store crushed by a large boulder.

He sighed. "It's just, all my life I wanted to be a pilot, to fight in an EVA and be a soldier. Looking back on it, not being a pilot was probably the best thing of my youth." He turned to look at his friends with defeated eyes. "Does thinking like that make me an asshole? To Shinji, to you?" he asked sincerely.

Toji smiled at his old friend with sadness overflowing his orbs. "Nah, man it's f-"

"Hokari, Aida and Suzuhara?" interrupted a petite-looking nurse. Three sets of eyes addressed her curiously. "You'll be admitted now. " She motioned for them to follow her dismissively with her hand while reading on a clipboard. The three youths hurried behind; Toji stood quickly to offer Hikari a hand, making her blush, while Kensuke rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the wall.

The nurse walked at an alarmingly speedy pace and seemed reluctant to let them catch up to her, see her face or even contradict her in anything. "You are not to upset any of the patients in any way. Should patients Sohryu or Ikari even begin to get irritated by your presence, you are to be escorted off the premises at once," she recited, as if reading from a script. Toji frowned and mimicked her behind her back, making both Hikari and Kensuke giggle at his antics.

"You are to remain within the premises until 5pm. I understand you have gone through the necessary cleaning procedures?" asked the nurse without looking back.

"You mean the three baths we were forced to take?" Toji answered sarcastically. "Yeah, you can cross those out." The nurse turned to address a cold glare his way, making the three youngsters gulp. She grunted and continued her way.

"You are not to comment on the Children's accommodation within this hospital, nor will you discuss it with others outside, is that understood?" After the bored replies of 'Yes ma'am', she continued. "After your visitation, depending on how today works out; you may or may not be allowed to visit in two day's time. Now, patient Ikari is about to finish his exercise session, I will escort you to the gymnasium where you can socialize with him for a few minutes. He will leave to wash, change his bandages and cook soon after, and you will then be escorted to their sleeping quarters."

"But I brought enough food for the both of them," said Hikari between breaths. "He doesn't need to cook today!" She received nothing but a bemused huff and a knowing smirk from the nurse.

"Yeah, good luck with that. Keeping Shinji out of the kitchen on tempura day, hah! Like that's gonna happen."

Hikari puffed her cheeks in anger, ready to give the nurse a piece of her mind, but Toji stopped her with the typical 'Abort Mission!' signal. Hikari had a temper to her as well, and it could very well mean being escorted outside by security.

The sign marked 'Physical Therapy' lightened the hearts of the bored teenagers. Soon enough, they'd be rid of the pestilent presence of the annoying nurse. "You may remain with them for the reminder of the afternoon, granted you do not upset my patients." With her final warning, the young nurse opened the door to the gym, where shouting could be heard from the mat. People trained here and there, some doctors exercised on the machines while patients managed their exercises. The sight of the area gave Toji chills, forcing him to relive his brief dismemberment.

"-aster. No, lower your elbow, protect the rib cage. Good. Move forward." (SLAP). "Ow!" "Told you to lower your elbow. Again. Good. Left cross, good. Again. Good! Now give me a jab, cross, elbow, leg. Nice, go for the base, go for the core. Don't stop, attack your opponent. Good."

Kensuke blinked, noticing the worn-looking figure of their friend facing a rather imposing man dressed in a black training suit, thick as a bull in the chest area and holding a bamboo stick, with which he would slap corrections in Shinji's fight stance. "He-y, Shin-ma-" he tried, but was silenced by the nurse's penetrating glare.

"You are not to interrupt Sensei Ishikawa's session under any circumstance," the nurse reprimanded, glaring at the three with eyes that resembled Asuka's fierce look to disturbing levels. "Watch," she ordered.

The man whacked Shinji on the side, the leg, and mostly the injured area around his rib cage whenever he lowered his guard. Shinji's stance looked solid to Toji, hands raised, right leg forward, left fist defending his chin, but apparently it was not good enough for the larger man. He was merciless in the face of Shinji's tired expression or his hisses of pain when he was hit around the ribs or the leg. Ishikawa wore a rectangular pad on his left hand, and some sort of body pad around his body, where Shinji connected his gloved fists from time to time.

"Wrong. I can kick you over the head without even trying. Wrong again, mind my reach. Always know your opponent's reach. Better, better. Come; let me see that left hook again. Good. Backwards. Break! How's the kicking?" asked the man, motioning for Shinji to recover his breath.

"Still hurts," admitted Shinji, clearly exhausted. He took deep breaths but occasionally closed his eyes and hissed when the healing ribs complained of the strain he was putting them through.

"That's because your core is still weak. Your kicking power comes from the core, the lower back, the legs and gluteus. Right now your form is shit, but it's improving quickly. By the time I'm done with you, you'll not only be able to knock a gun out of an attacker's hand, you'll hand him his jaw for his trouble. Come, last four minutes. Try the push kick. Slow, come at me. Slow, good."

The teens watched, astonished, as Shinji recovered whatever air he could and moved into a fighting stance while the man walked him through the steps of a powerful push-kick with surprising efficiency. "Grab your opponent by the shoulders. Opposite shoulder, good. Now pull from the core. Go easy on this one; you're not fully healed yet. Let's go. Good kick. Throw me some combos. Finish strong, attack your opponent."

Even some doctors sat and observed the exchange with interest, Toji noted.

"Ishikawa-san was the head trainer of the Special Forces Group, and Captain of the 2nd Airborne Brigade of the JSSDF," muttered the nurse in a quiet tone; she wore a smile for once, her face seemed to lighten ever since laying eyes on Shinji, Hikari noticed with unease.

"Ironic, isn't it?" she asked. "The JSSDF was the one who assaulted NERV, who cleared the way for the EVA Series. Ishikawa was the only one in his unit who refused to attack, he told his pilots not to display that day. He thought NERV, the Children and the Evangelions were protecting us from our real enemy, from SEELE. He was executed for treason on the day of the attack, of course." The young woman's tone grew increasingly friendlier, to the teens' surprise, along with her smile.

"Since he was killed so close to Third Impact, he was able to come back. The JSSDF reinstated him with full honors, but he abandoned his post immediately when he heard Ikari Shinji was looking for a trainer to help him defend himself and his family." The woman's eyes never left Shinji's sweaty form; she observed him with a strange adoration in her eyes.

"I heard he beat up the five Section Two agents in charge of Shinji's protection, sent for his twenty best and most trusted soldiers, and swore Misato-sama on his life that he would not only teach Shinji to defend himself; he would protect both him, Asuka and Rei until such time he considered them able to fend for themselves," she commented with a gossipy tone in her voice.

Kensuke, who had been nodding at the information provided, shook his head and turned to stare wide-eyed at the nurse. "Hold up a sec, you mean Rei is alive?" he asked, jaw slackening.

The nurse blinked, and for once tore her eyes away from Shinji. "You mean you didn't know? Rei came back from the LCL about three and half weeks ago. That's her sitting right there, look."

To the teens' utter shock, on the opposite side where they were standing sat the ever-mysterious Ayanami Rei, for once not dressed in her school uniform or bathing suit. She wore a rather form-fitting blue exercise shirt, with snug yoga pants and a head band on her forehead. Upon noticing them standing on the other side of the room, she waved and smiled warmly at the group from her spot on the grades near the pool. The teens, open-mouthed and shocked to silence, tried to wave back as naturally as possible.

"Break!"

The sound of the sensei's booming voice brought the group's attention to the center of the mat, where Shinji was standing with his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. "Good session, Ikari. You need to lower those elbows, don't leave the core open. How's the wound?" asked Ishikawa, putting a hand on Shinji's shoulder.

"Getting... better, Sensei… Still hurts… when I kick," Shinji gasped between breaths.

Rei had long risen from her perch, choosing to stand next to Ishikawa with a bottle of water in her hand. "Nice work, Shinji-kun. Water?"

Shinji took the bottle eagerly, smiling at her. "Thanks, Rei!" he said, slowly recovering his breath.

"It still hurts because you're getting stronger. Pain is good, boy, means your body's getting the right treatment. You can breathe better now, can't you?"

"H-Hai!" said Shinji, smiling.

"Good, good," commented Ishikawa. "How's the girl? I miss her already. Girl really has a set of lungs for Christ's sake; she was correcting your form more than me! Ha! Yesterday was good, eh? She getting better?"

"Hai!" answered Shinji between gulps of water. "Yesterday they took out the stitches! She's starting therapy in two days, Sensei! Today we had our stuff brought in, so she spent the morning putting the room in place and getting some things; I think she's sleeping now."

Ishikawa smiled at Shinji, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "Good to hear. Rei," he boomed, turning to the girl. "Excellent form, but you lack stamina. Too basic, as well. Tomorrow we'll work on some locks, Ikari," Shinji turned to stare at him. "Yoga tomorrow," he said, grinning.

"Aw, man!" Shinji grunted audibly, clearly not thrilled. "Can't I just have one week without yoga?"

"No can do, kid," answered Ishikawa as he turned to leave. "Cheer up, friends are here!"

With that, Hikari, Toji and Kensuke remembered where they were and turned to look at Shinji's drenched, but smiling face. "You guys!" he said excitedly. "You came! I can't believe it!"

Toji finally managed to shake his head and smile back. "Shin-man! Looking good out there! I didn't know you were going all ninja on us!" He hugged his friend encouragingly with not a single thought about the sweat, careful around his ribs and receiving a heated glare from the nurse.

"Hey, Shin-man! You certainly look better, dude!" said Kensuke, exited. "Finally gave up on being on the scrawny side, eh?"

Shinji smiled back at Kensuke and shook the boy's hand with his free arm. "Good to see you, Kensuke! How have you been? Um, is that a new camera?" Shinji pointed at his device, which Kensuke then began to talk about in excruciating detail, being of course ignored as Shinji greeted Hikari and Toji elbowed him.

"Hikari, is that a bento? Wow, it smells great!" he commented, staying back so as not to get her smelly with his sweat.

"Yeah!" she said, smiling back. "I brought enough for you and Asuka, so you don't have to… Rei!" The Class Representative trailed off, noticing when she noticed the other girl approach the group with a small smile.

After the group greeted Rei with shocked smiles on their faces, they talked for a bit with Shinji; Hikari explained the different dishes she had brought and how she'd cooked them, Toji kept commenting on his fighting stance and his 'killer left', and Kensuke joked around the fact that he looked 'less like a shrimp' with his gloves on, and Rei smiled to herself when he looked on, embarrassed. They conversed amiably until the nurse cleared her throat loud enough for half the gym to hear.

"Shinji-kun," she said with a smile. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but we have to get those bandages changed and get you washed up. Tempura day, remember?"

Shinji's face lightened a bit more, surprising his friends and making Rei giggle to herself. "Oh, don't tell me Kazumi-san, the wheat flour arrived!? And the oil? Aw man, with Hikari's bento we'll have enough for dinner, too!"

The nurse smiled as she helped him up. "Mmhm, a gift from Russia! We just got some fresh fish from them, too, and some…"

The group watched, slacked-jawed for the third time that day, as Shinji took Hikari's bento from her hands, walked to the locker rooms and began talking excitedly about one recipe or another with the nurse. They were left looking back at each other and at Rei's puzzled face.

"Shinji Nii-san will take about an hour and fifteen minutes washing and cooking. I assume you've come to see Sohryu as well?" she asked after an awkward period of silence.

"Eh?" said Toji, lifting an eyebrow. "Nii-san? What's all that about?"

Rei blushed at the question, motioning for them to follow her. They did, reluctantly, after the fact that Shinji had just left to cook of all things finished sinking in.

"It is… a long story, perhaps best saved for another occasion," Rei admitted while they circled the hallways of the Medical Ward. Apparently Shinji and Asuka shared a large bedroom in a private wing not far from the gymnasium, for the number of patients reduced with every step they took.

"Wait, is that about the whole mother-clone thingy?" Kensuke asked while he continued to tap the buttons and screen of his new camera, which was why he did not see Toji's hand reach back and hit him over the head.

"Yeah, nice. Great way to start a conversation, doofus," Toji said. Rei, however, just smiled lightly back at them. They had never seen Rei so much as smirk; seeing her so good-natured didn't cease to shock any of them.

"It is quite alright, Suzuhara-kun. Yes, Aida-kun, it is related to my sharing genetic material with Shinji's mother, but it is also much more." Rei's eyes lit up just a bit when she spoke, earning a warm smile from Hikari.

As they walked, Hikari put a hand on Rei's shoulders, smiling back at her. "Tell us all about it whenever you like, Rei-chan."

They walked a bit more comfortably after that, speaking of how much of a good mood Shinji was, how nice it was for him to have a secure location to recover, and how lovely it was to have Rei back with them. The group spoke with the former First Child in more friendly terms for the first time in their lives, and found themselves enjoying it quite a bit. Not only was Rei very intelligent, she was quick to understand and had very uniquely light sense of humor. The laughter and fun quickly converted into a strange silence, however, when they arrived at the room shared by the former Second and Third Children, which had a crudely made 'Shin-chan and Asuka-chan's Lovely Suit' sign engraved on its door.

"This is where I leave you. It has been pleasant to see you all again. Please, visit Shinji Nii-san more often," Rei bowed formally in front of them and turned to the door. The group was once again surprised when they saw how quickly Rei's aura changed from relaxed to absolutely monotonic, as she'd been before. "Sohryu," she said coldly. "You have visitors; Shinji-kun will be arriving with lunch in an hour."

With a parting bow, she turned and left for her own room in a flash, leaving the three of them standing awkwardly outside the large bedroom with the door open. They looked just as uncomfortable as they felt, fidgeting and looking about except at the insides of the area that held the dreaded Red Devil.

"Well?" came the grumble from inside the room. "Are you stooges coming in or what? Don't just stand there like idiots, the door's gonna close at some point, you know."

Unsurprisingly, it was Toji who frowned and entered first, turning to nod at the redhead who sat with her arms crossed on the larger-than-average hospital bed. He seated himself in one of the three available chairs in the room, crossing his arms as well, and looked around the temporary living quarters while Hikari and Kensuke entered behind him.

The room was not only spacious; it now had a small desk Toji and Kensuke recognized from Shinji's room; a nightstand Hikari knew belonged to Asuka, a large TV, a pair of small laptops, a poof sat on the ground, a cello case rested on the wall to their right, and there was even a small three-person table. A window on the left side of the bed gave a view of the growing field outside the Geo-Front. The bed was large enough to fit two adults comfortably, it had two sets of pillows along with two smaller comforters, and aside from the typical white hospital sheets, it was covered with two blue blankets Hikari knew came from the Katsuragi household, since she'd helped Shinji pick them out.

Sitting on the bed with her legs under said blankets and one of Shinji's school-shirts over her own yellow top was Asuka, hair devoid of her neural connectors for once. The auburn locks cascaded down her shoulders, obscuring most of her eyes. From what was visible from her expression, Asuka was pouting.

"So?" she asked in an annoyed tone. "What do you guys want?" Hikari, who had turned to look at the ground from her standing spot beside Toji, nudged him with her foot.

"Good to know you're not dead, Sohryu," said Toji dispassionately. "Would've been a shame not to have you around to bad-mouth behind your back."

Asuka smirked at him, glaring back. "Still haven't developed any discernible intelligence or learned better insults, I see, monkey Stooge." Toji huffed, but smirked back at her.

Hikari took a deep breath and turned to look at her friend. "Asuka," she started. "I'm…sorry about how I acted last time, we shouldn't have upset Shinji like that, nor… nor you." She bowed to Asuka, closing her eyes forcefully. "Please excuse my rude behavior!"

Asuka blinked back at her, looking puzzled and exchanging glances with the other two stooges; who simply shrugged their shoulders and offered no context whatsoever. "Um… sure, Hikari. Whatever. I, um… forgive you."

Hikari nodded and stood back straight, looking back at her with a small smile. "it's good to see you, Asuka. How are you feeling?" she asked respectfully. She had to behave according to plan, after all. What was more, she was starting to feel much more optimistic, even happy, upon finding Asuka so relaxed for once. Her old friend, despite her wound, looked much better than months before.

"Sleepy," remarked Asuka. "Stupid serum gets me tired." She turned to look over at Kensuke. "What about you, Four-eyes? Got nothing to say today?" Kensuke, who had seated himself opposite to Toji, shrugged at her question while he continued to familiarize himself with his new device.

"Meh," he said. "My dad says that if you don't have anything good to say, you should just stay quiet, so…"

Asuka smirked at the retort, laying her arms on the blankets. "I'll take it over the alternative of you talking," she said. "So, what's up?"

Toji took a deep breath, feigning not being at all affected by the heavy atmosphere of the bedroom. "Shinji looks good. Better than I've seen in a long time, too long really." He eyed the pilot with cold eyes. "I guess we have you to thank for that, huh."

Asuka raised an eyebrow at him, but otherwise remained subdued. "What are you trying to say, Stooge?" she asked, frowning.

"Last time I talked to the Shin-man, he told me all about the little incident in the hospital," he said, frown deepening.

Asuka's eyes widened; her hands gripped the sheets with force while she recovered. "What?" she demanded while the numbness of the serum disappeared under the familiar sting of her anger.

"Don't get your panties in a twist just yet, listen; if you let me talk, I'll let you have a swing at my jaw when you get healed, deal?" Toji answered, still frowning, still cold.

Asuka huffed again, but nodded nonetheless. "Fine, deal." Toji readjusted himself on his seat, cleared his throat and continued.

"He told me about Third Impact too, how he didn't help you. He said he just sat there and did nothing." Asuka broke eye contact with him, taken aback, and frowned at the sheets. She looked just about ready to burst until Toji spoke again, surprising both her and his friends with his next statement.

"I wanted to sock him in the jaw so much it hurt," he admitted, glaring at the ground. Hikari looked over worriedly at Toji, and turned to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "A man should offer protection, not take what is not freely given to him," he told Asuka with hardened sincerity, turning his glare to her. "But you've done your share of taking too, haven't you?"

"Out with it," Asuka bit back, barely holding onto her temper. "Before I snap your neck." His previous statement had caught her off guard, true, but the jock's attitude was already starting to put her on edge.

Toji continued, unaffected by her threat. "You might want everyone else to think you suddenly turned ballistic on Shinji after Third Impact because of what he did or didn't do, but that's a load of bullshit, and we all know it." Hikari and Kensuke nodded grimly as they turned their eyes to the former pilot.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" asked Asuka, enraged. She was glaring at them so deeply from beneath her bangs that Hikari feared she would just explode at any second. By a miracle, however, Asuka managed to keep her anger in check and allowed Toji to finish.

"It's simple, really," Toji continued, narrowing his eyes at her. "This isn't new, any of it. You've treated Shinji like he was beneath you from the day you two met. Hell, the first thing you did the day we met was slap him across the face, even when he was the only one with enough decency to not look at your prissy little panties."

The temperature of the room seemed to grow increasingly colder with every word Toji spoke. Asuka dug her nails deep within her palms so as to not burst in rage; in turn she only glared vehemently at Shinji's friend, trying to remind herself he would not take the murder of Toji lightly.

"You've always put him down, messed with him, teased him, demeaned him. I don't know if it was a way to get his attention in that twisted mind of yours, or if you probably were just too damn proud to own up to the fact that you actually like him, but I don't really care either way. The fact is that your shit kept getting worse, kept escalating and he never stopped you." Asuka bit back a harsh reply, shocked that his analysis was not that far away from reality.

Toji narrowed his eyes even further. "My guess is that something really fucked up went on between you two during Third Impact, and Shinji snapped at you, didn't he? I bet he went as far as trying to kill you." Asuka looked down once again, breaking eye contact with Toji and curling her fingers even tighter. "Didn't he?" He prodded further.

"He did," she bit back as she stared at the scar that began on her right knuckles. Her hand unconsciously traveled to her neck when she remembered his fingers digging into her windpipe. "He did…"

"He's pretty fucking terrifying for someone so quiet, isn't he? When he gets mad, he gets mad. It's a whole different level, right?" He received a glare from Hikari for his harsh language, but got the nod he expected from the redhead. "Good," he said with a nod. "I don't know what you said or did to make him snap, but I do know you had it coming. Whatever he did, you deserved it." Once again, Asuka's furious eyes turned to him, hatred evident in her gaze. "That doesn't mean what he did was right, but I think breaking his bones more than once a month for the last eight months is retribution enough, don't you?"

"Whatever," Asuka said, turning to stare at the cello case in the room's corner. "It's not like I don't feel like shit every day for what I did."

"Good," said Toji again, in a louder tone. This time, they all turned to look at him in shock. "If you feel like shit it means you finally owned up to it, just like I felt when I hit him that day." He sighed, losing some of the stress which corroded his shoulders. "Shinji's a very weird guy, considering how his life's been it's not really surprising. He's hooked on you for whatever reason, and he doesn't resent you for what you've done, so I'm not one to focus on a grudge that doesn't exist. I'll ask you this one thing, though. Did you get it out of your system?"

Asuka blinked at him, frowning in confusion. "What? Got what out of my system?"

"The bitch. The bitch that treated my friend like a god-damned doormat, the bitch who hospitalized my friend for no particular reason, the bitch who demeaned Shinji for the fuck of it; is she gone?" Toji's expression turned into an ugly scowl. "If not, I might have a few more words for her, and a few fists too."

Asuka's eyebrow twitched, making Hikari hold her breath. They had planned it all week long; so far, the plan was working out. It all depended on how Asuka answered Toji at that right moment. Kensuke gulped, feeling sweat roll down his temple when he made eye-contact with Hikari.

Asuka lowered her head, obscuring her eyes while she recollected herself. "You… you're something else, Stooge…" she whispered coldly. Her hands gripped the sheets with vehemence before she remembered they were Shinji's. Is she gone? Asuka asked herself. Am I going to hurt Shinji like that again? The memory of him lying on the floor, blood seeping out if nose and mouth, eyes glassy, barely breathing with the horrible purplish tinge on his chest washed through her, making Asuka cringe. I made a promise, she thought. I'll show them, all of them. I'll be worthy of him, just you watch.

"Yeah," she bit through gritted teeth, turning to glare at them all. "That bitch is dead. Shinji killed her, not two months ago." Her eyes narrowed, turning to look at Toji. "I can't promise I'll never hurt him, that'd be bullshit. But that bitch is gone, only this bitch remains. And this bitch finally got it through her thick little skull, you hear me?!" Asuka's temper finally flared, making her eyes looked crazed with anger. "This bitch will stay with him, every fucking moment of every day if needed, just to try to make up for what she did, do you understand me?!"

Red hair flicked here and there when she turned to glare at each of them. "I don't care if it takes me my whole life, I'll make it up to him, even if he thinks there's nothing to make up for, I do! I don't care if he hurts me, or leaves, or gets tired of me, I will never be that bitch again! I'll help him, I'll take the step forward as many times as I have to, and let him help me too, just like he's done all this time!"

She closed her eyes and screamed. "You got that, you bastards?!"

"Yeah," rang Kensuke's voice, surprising her. He flashed her a sunny grin and showed the redhead his camera, which had a conspicuous red light blinking back at her. "Got it all on tape, Toji."

Asuka's eyes widened as she felt the blood drain from her limbs and relocate entirely to her face. Embarrassment was short-lived, however, as anger quickly mingled with it. "Why you, I'll shove that camera straight up yo-"

"Cool it down, Sohryu," interrupted Toji, who seemed somehow interested in the dirt beneath his fingernails. "It's not like we'll upload it on the Internet or anything, we just need documented proof."

"Proof?" Asuka urged, enraged. "Proof of what?!"

"Of your little declaration just now. You see, I've been over your shit for so long, ever since I first saw Shinji with a black eye." His eyes narrowed once more. "Your declaration isn't enough for me. I want your word, your word as pilot, as Sohryu Asuka Langley. I want you to swear to me, to us, right here and now, that you'll never seriously harm Shinji again, so long as you live. I want you to swear us on your life that you won't ever go psycho on him again."

"And why the fuck should I swear anything to you? To any of you?!" Asuka snarled back.

Toji shrugged, unmoved. "Because if you don't, I swear to you that I'll do whatever I can to split you guys apart and make him forget all about you. I swear to you, the next time you hit him, I'll hit you back, even if he kills me afterwards. We'll do anything, anything, you hear me?"

"I would just love to see that, Stooge," Asuka shot back, glaring at him and secretly hoping he would stand down. She was once again surprised, nonetheless, when he clenched his fists and coldly glared back.

"Try me."

The next several tense moments transpired in sepulchral silence, neither party wishing to give in. Hikari felt more nervous than anything, while Kensuke tried to hide his discomfort behind the lens of his camera. Toji though, kept on glaring straight at the volatile Red Devil, with not a single thought of standing down.

The nerve of these bastards, thought Asuka, gnawing at her molars. They think I'm lying, they think I'll back down?! They think they'll intimidate me? With every passing thought she lowered her head even further, gripping the sheets with more and more force. First Wonder Girl gets all bossy around the Baka, and now the League of Stupid comes to try and bitch and me some more. But I don't care. I'll show them.

"Fine!" Asuka yelled at last, making the three teens jump and stared at her in shock. Even Toji's persona was broken under the intensity of Asuka's scream. "Turn on your stupid camera, Stooge. You want proof? I'll give you proof, I'll show you all!"

Kensuke almost dropped the camera when he tried to set it to record once again, being as nervous as he was. In truth, he was astonished at how well the plan was going, but still, Asuka seemed more than a little dangerous when she was so angry. "Um…" he muttered, trying as fast as he could to set the video and audio feeds correctly. "O-kay! We're rolling, whenever you wish, Miss Sohryu."

Asuka took a deep breath, feeling the comfort of Shinji's shirt on her. Compared to everything else she had gone through, the little charade the group had organized was close to nothing; it didn't even account to a pebble on the road. It didn't matter that she had not yet said those words to Shinji; it didn't matter if anyone else understood, because he did, he knew. She had died a horrible death, been killed all over again and had survived in a post-apocalyptic environment with nothing but Shinji. They could have their silly little video, they could sell it or give it away to the press for all she cared; she didn't care anymore.

Let them all know. Let them eat their hearts out in envy. He's mine, all mine.

Asuka smirked, placed her right hand -her scarred hand- on top of her heart, forcefully pushed aside the hair obscuring her eyes, and stared at the camera with a look of total and absolute determination.

Yeah, and I'm all his.

"Ich, Asuka Langley Sohryu, verspreche heute bei meiner Ehre, Shinji Ikari nicht zu schlagen und ihn niemals mehr anzugreifen, damit ich bei ihm bleiben kann. Ich verspreche auch, dass ich Shinji Ikari schützen und achten werde soweit ich es kann. Bei meiner Ehre als Asuka Langley Sohryu, Bei meinem Leben!"

The teens stood open-mouthed, naked shock evident on their faces and camera still beeping a blazing red. Toji blinked several times and shook his head; the mere fact that the Red Devil had agreed to their plan was scandalous enough, and now she had spewed some gibberish in a strange accent that made no sense at all in Toji's head.

"Wait, what? What the hell was that, Sohryu?"

Asuka scoffed at him, crossing her arms and scrunching up her nose. "It's German, dummkopf! My mother language, remember? If I'm gonna swear something, I'll do it in my mother tongue."

Hikari and Kensuke kept on staring wide-eyed at her, oblivious to everything but the fact that Sohryu Asuka Langley had just agreed to, partly at the very least, admit her feelings for Ikari Shinji, on tape.

"B-But how do we know you didn't just say a bunch of stuff with your name on it?" Toji complained, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"Are you kidding me? Do you doubt my word, monkey?!"

The jock's face went red. "Hey!" he exclaimed.

Asuka rolled her eyes and turned to the bespectacled boy. "Hey, four eyes, that still recording?" Upon receiving a stiff nod from Kensuke, she turned to smirk at the Toji, humor blossoming in her gaze. "I'll give you this much in your precious Japanese. If I ever hit Shinji again, especially around his chest, I'll let you punch me, Toji. Once. In the face. Without any retribution afterwards."

This time, even Toji's eyes widened as he stared at her in shock.

"There. Are you done with your little game now?" Three pairs of eyes continued to stare at her in utter astonishment, even a bit of respect. Honestly, did she have to almost die for her friends to give her a second chance? It was completely ridiculous, what they had just put her through, but none of it mattered anymore. She had Shinji, and she had Misato, and now even Unit 02; she didn't need anything else.

The sound of a small clap made Asuka stare at Kensuke in bewilderment; he pocketed his small camera and clapped, nodding his approval and staring straight at her for the first time in the day. Hikari soon followed suit, smiling warmly at her and looking almost at the verge of tears. Lastly, even Toji relented and started a slow, but strong clap.

"Hey!" Asuka said, embarrassed. Of all the things the three teens could have done to shame her, Asuka was expecting clapping to be the last. A blush quickly crept its way to her face as they grew louder and louder. "Stop that!" They clapped harder. "Stop being so fucking dramatic, geez! You can stop now!" They continued, going so far as to laugh happily at her while she continued to voice out her complains.

"I said stop, damn you! Ugh!" Asuka relented at last, turning to cross her arms and pout, much like the expression she'd worn when the group had first arrived.

"Miss Sohryu, is everything in order?" The stoic voice of the nurse came from out of nowhere. "We're hearing reports of more shouting than usual, should I call security?"

Asuka rolled her eyes at the very sound of the nurse's voice. "It's all good, Kazumi, we're just joking around," she said with a bored tone. "How long before Shinji gets here with lunch?"

"About ten minutes, give or take a few," answered the nurse, clearly annoyed.

"Okay then, thanks," Asuka said with as much sarcasm as humanly possible. After a few seconds, she huffed. "God, I just can't stand that nurse! She's always so anal about everything!"

The boys snickered good-naturedly while Hikari looked scandalized, yet soon after she recovered and smiled at her friend, finally mustering up the courage to approach her.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Toji agreed. "She gave us a full-on speech on what we were not supposed to do and how she wouldn't let us in again."

Asuka rolled her eyes at the mention of the nurse's habitual dry tone. "Ugh, I know, right?!" She conceded, for once without malice. "She has this little tone to her voice where she just gets all medical. And the way she looks at Shinji!"

"I know!" Hikari agreed, taking a hold of Asuka's hand. "She just stares at him like he's a piece of meat," she commented, growling when she remembered how Kazumi would sometimes run her fingers along Shinji's chest.

"I could just hit her over the head with a pipe, I swear…"

The aura around the group relaxed somewhat, they conversed and otherwise complained about the nurses of the Medical Ward until the door opened once more, and a smiling Shinji walked in with a cart filled with various different dishes. The smell alone had been enough to make some nurses turn their heads as he had passed, and made more than a few doctors jealous; there was rarely such delicious food coming from the dining area.

Shinji smiled nervously upon discovering the group's attention had centered on him. "Um," he mumbled, looking around for any signs of violence and finding himself pleasantly surprised to find none. "Anyone hungry?"

"About time you got here, Baka!" said Asuka, eyes shining when she caught a glimpse of the main course. "Oh, is that tempura?" she asked.

Hikari giggled when she noticed the look on Asuka's face when Shinji confirmed the recipe was indeed tempura chicken, fish and vegetables. She looked just like a child who had just been presented with candy. The change in her energy did not go unnoticed by Hikari either; she seemed more at ease now that Shinji had arrived, with tons of food to boot. He gave each of them a small tray, placed the cart beside the bed and started handing out portions, minding to serve Asuka first. She looked about ready to tackle the cart and devour everything on it, after all.

"Hikari, did you make this?" Asuka asked after receiving one of her homemade dumplings with her first plate. Hikari smiled and nodded at her. "They're amazing! Here, Shinji, try some."

The group tried hard not to gawk when Asuka fed him a piece of the dumpling with her fingers, as if they were not even in the room. It was almost unbelievable, how differently both youngsters behaved around one another, but instead of spoiling the moment with wondering what exactly had happened, the group just exchanged knowing smiles among one another and dug in for the food. If they didn't move fast enough Asuka would finish all the tempura by herself.

"Hey, Sohryu, I thought you hated Japanese food," said Toji between bites of his own procured dumpling.

"There's Japanese food, Stooge, and there's Shinji's food," Asuka retorted while serving herself a healthy bowl of rice with the delicious beef stew Hikari had prepared. On a separate plate, she dropped about three or four varieties of the main course. "And then there's Shinji's tempura."

The last surprise of the day for the visiting youngsters came when Rei entered the room without even bothering to knock, hair still damp from her shower and wearing a pair of jeans with a blue shirt, brought a chair from the small dining table and started serving herself small amounts of almost every plate. Rei seated herself to Shinji's left, who sat comfortably on the left side of the bed and ate from his own tray with a healthy appetite.

"There are some tempura vegetables for you on the plate, Rei," said Shinji while he spooned the stew with gusto. "I made some vegetable stew for you, too." Three sets of eyes turned to observe Asuka's unmeasured, possibly explosive reaction, but the girl simply continued to wolf down the stew and bite off pieces of her tempura, stopping only to get a drink of water or gesture for a refill of her plate.

For the first time since they had known each other, Asuka, Shinji, Rei, Toji, Kensuke and Hikari all shared a meal together, talked happily with each other and behaved like normal teenagers. No talk about Angels, Evangelions, or Third Impact, just regular laughter and jokes between friends; it was a tasteful afternoon, indeed.

The tempura was delicious, too.

---

NERV Headquarters. Floor 3. Storage Facility. Second week of recovery.

The banging on Gendou's door raised him from an already troubled sleep, making the man blink and blindly search for his glasses in the dark. The precise, soft knocking stopped when he muttered a tired "What?" at whomever was stupid enough to bother him in the middle of the night; his tired brain registered '2:07am' blinking on the clock by his miniature nightstand. He massaged his aching temple for a second before making himself more or less presentable.

Pushing the door's button on his right, Gendou was unsurprised upon seeing Ritsuko standing before him in her lab coat, dark greenish eyes gazing coldly at him. Behind her stood her two bodyguards and the two men assigned to follow him wherever he went, inside and outside the compounds of the Geofront. With an equally indifferent stare, the elder Ikari cleared his throat.

"May I ask why you bother to knock? As Commander, you have access to every room within this facility," he said, voice scratchy with sleep. The woman on the other side of the sliding door clicked her tongue, motioning dismissively with her hand for him to move. He relented and made way for her to enter his small customized cell. While it was true he had everything he required, the size of the room was laughable at best; he knew of closets in the Geofront with more room. Regardless, he'd take it over the alternative.

"To knock is the social convention, I'm simply trying to be civil, Gendou."

The comment managed to raise the former Commander's interest. So we're using names now, are we? "I see. Well, I thank you, How may I help you at this time of the night? Do you wish to have sex?"

The bolt of electricity that traveled from his foot to his entire body managed to make the man twitch before he regained his balance, forcing him to once again feel the ache of his mid-section.

Ritsuko, for her part, secured the small remote control in her coat pocket and chuckled quietly at his display. "Don't flatter yourself, stud. It's about your son. You do have one of those, remember?"

She handed him a sheet containing the boy's harmonics graphs, which he read through rapidly now that his glasses were in place. Some areas showed remarkable activity during his angered state, while other simply broke the scale. The last few notes attached to the sheet were recent; they registered abnormal chemical activity in Shinji's body during the assassination attempt.

"What is the meaning of this?" Gendou asked. "What are these graphs here, the ones that jump out of scale?"

Ritsuko looked the papers over quickly, before sitting on his one available chair. "Those are Shinji's adrenaline, dopamine and testosterone levels during periods of extreme stress. Here are the readings of an individual of his same age, when subjected to life-or-death situations."

Gendou read through the readings of the second individual and felt his frown deepen further without his consent.

"As you can see," Ritsuko continued. "Shinji's body produces just about twice as much adrenaline in situations of extreme stress that a normal teenager would. Hell, he even produces more than an adult. Those little episodes, with the Third, the Twelfth, with Zeruel, those were not entirely isolated events planned to perfection by you. Whether you want it or not, that wasn't just the EVA's instinct and Yui, Gendou." The doctor pointed at the last graph. "It was him too. His EVA didn't go berserk. Shinji went berserk, and the EVA reacted to it. When Asuka was brought in a few days ago, I was told Shinji was the one who carried her down the stairs. It should be impossible for someone with his injuries to run down the stairs of a building carrying another person, and yet he did exactly that."

"What is your theory?" he asked the doctor, handing her the papers.

"It's quite simple, really," said Ritsuko, inspecting her nails. "It's the by-product of your carefully crafted scenario for him, the by-product of your long distance conditioning. Shinji doesn't process anger; he suppresses it, just like he suppressed the memory of his mother dying in front of him, or the memory of his father crying like a little girl. He explodes from time to time, but never too much, or for too long. It builds and builds inside him, until he's pushed to his literal limits and snaps. That's why he doesn't remember when he devoured Zeruel, or when he bit Misato's arm when she tried to help him get Asuka to the ambulance. That's why he didn't feel the bullet shard in his leg, or any pain for that matter. He's beyond pain when he's like that, beyond everything that is not crushing whatever's trying to hurt him."

"If this is correct," said Gendou flatly. "How come he did not react like this during Third Impact?" Ritsuko gave him a cold smile, and refocused her attention on her nails.

"Because we broke him so much he had no will to live anymore. There was no anger in him, no nothing. He was just… destroyed. If there's nothing to fight for, there's no will to fight. Even a tiger gives up eventually when it sees no escape, when it realizes it's defeated and its been bled out."

"And your point?" Gendou demanded. "How is this relevant in any way?" Once again, Ritsuko's cold smile was his answer.

"I asked some doctors I know about these readings, we all came to the same conclusion. We've seen behavior like this in introverted individuals such as your son, but never to this extent. It's always the quiet ones who are the scariest when they snap."

The doctor turned Commander produced a small disk and placed it on Gendou's miniature night-stand. The tape attached to the disk's box read 'Third Child: Berserk'.

"That's why Asuka's so afraid of him. She's seen it; she's seen the look in his eyes when he snaps, seen right into the eyes of Shinji's monster. Sort of the Mr. Hyde to his Doctor Jekyll, if you will. This factor, while on its own it represents a deep psychological imbalance, could be decisive if we want to survive what's coming."

She rose from his chair, producing a pack of gum from her coat's pocket. Green eyes stared at him once again with forced coldness and bitter anger. "We need this. Asuka might be strong with Unit 02, but she's too volatile, if her personal history proves anything. It could very well back-fire on us all. We need the berserker, just once more. We need him to fight." With that, Ritsuko made her way to the door, already figuring out the next five things she needed to get done before sleeping.

"And he will," said Gendou, sitting back on his small bed. The doctor raised an eyebrow at him, stopping by the door to stare at him with her arms crossed. "When he fights, he will win."

"What makes you so sure?" she asked her former lover, intrigued.

"We are more alike than either of us would care to admit, he and I. Back then, I was ready to cast aside everything and everyone on this Earth to be reunited with Yui, including him if necessary. The boy might not think much of himself, but I take pity on the next poor soul who tries to lay a hand on those he holds dear."

Gendou turned his cold stare at her, blue eyes penetrating her green ones with ease. "Once one has lost everything, one dies. Whatever rises again, will be stronger, and much more dangerous." He smiled at her before she retreated from his doorstep. Once he was alone in the darkness of his small room again, a small laugh escaped the former Commander's throat.

"Aside from that, he does have a murderous left hook."

---

NERV Medical Ward. Third Week of recovery. Visitation day. 9:13pm.

Shinji busied himself with putting the used dishes beneath the cart, minding to place all the scraps on a single plate for the stray dogs that now circled the area of the Geofront. Strangely enough, Asuka had noticed most of the dirty, half-starved mutts would follow Shinji around with gusto when he went to deliver their meager meals, instead of the growling and barking they offered everyone else. He had a way with animals, that much was certain.

Misato had long since departed to her own spacious room; the Sub-Commander was probably sprawled on her large bed, snoozing contently with Pen-Pen on her chest. How the box containing the smart avian bird had found its way to Misato's car was still a mystery, but the small, unconventional family chose not to dwell on it too much. Good thing he remembered to put aside food for Misato, she mused while watching him work. I swear, that woman eats like a barrack of soldiers.

All things considered, it had been one of the best days of Asuka's life in Japan, perhaps even her whole existence. In college or in the German Headquarters, people either idolized her and listened disinterestedly to the tales of her greatness or simply sat with someone closer to their age. She'd never had a group of peers, never mind a group of close friends, and found herself satisfied that for once that she could relax and talk to people her age without the constant, burning need to prove how great she was. Asuka smiled from her place on her bed, turning to once again look at the busily working Shinji.

She had him for all that, anyway. She didn't need to prove anything to him, he already knew.

Some of the things she had discussed with their social group, however, still weighted heavily on her mind. The ever-present insecurity and fear of abandonment was making her uncomfortable, now that everyone but she and Shinji remained in their room. Toji was right, after all. Her abuse hadn't miraculously occurred from one day to the other after Third Impact; she'd simply allowed it to escalate while providing herself with ridiculous excuses as to why she behaved so violently.

"Hey, Baka-Shinji," she said, distracting him. He glanced her way as he pushed the small cart beside the door, so as to take it to the kitchens in the morning. Asuka motioned for him to sit on the chair next to her. "Come sit here for a sec."

Shinji gave her a puzzled look, but relented nonetheless and left the last dish on the cart. He brought a chair next to Asuka's bed and sat by her side, still gazing at her with curious blue eyes. She was tired; the serum was making her groggy again, but she also felt a bit downcast. She had made a promise, given her word, but what if Shinji didn't need her anymore? What if she was just holding him back, reminding him of his former failures?

When she averted her eyes from the blankets and looked at him, she saw the serene expression that so seldom drew on his face when he was calm, or when he was cooking. He waited patiently for her to speak her mind, as he usually did these days.

She cast a glance at Shinji's hand, which rested innocently on the mattress. She took hold of it before he could even react, closely examining his right knuckles and fingers. A slight, almost imperceptible bump stood out in the joint of his ring finger, where she had broken it. His middle finger had no such deformation, she had been careful enough to only dislocate that one. The sting of regret churned in her stomach and mind, making Asuka feel all the more tired.

Shinji, for his part, was lost in the sensation of Asuka's warm hands covering and inspecting his own, lost in the shining colors of her hair. He was brought out of his reverie when Asuka sighed and tightened her hold.

"I broke that finger," she uttered quietly, looking down at the sheets. "I dislocated this one," Shinji felt a slight pressure on his middle finger. "I broke your arm. I dislocated your shoulder, broke your radius." Shinji's eyes grew increasingly wider as she continued, never relinquishing her hold on his hand. "I broke your ribs, cracked your skull, I almost killed you, Shinji, for something stupid." She sighed again and lowered her head in defeat. The fear of asking the question was making Asuka second-guess herself, something that rarely, if ever, occurred.

Once again, nevertheless, she was shocked by Shinji's response. He squeezed both her hands, and smiled sadly at the ground. "Yeah, and the first thing you did after that was run to get help, Asuka."

She focused her attention on him, stunned. "Huh?"

Shinji gave her hand another squeeze. "I tried to kill you," he admitted. "More than once, and yet here you are, still putting up with wimpy little Shinji." His gaze softened as he stared at the white floor beneath his feet. "I thought we'd both agreed on having done some stupid things."

Asuka's lips turned into a sad smile as well. "Yeah, I guess we did."

"Where's all this coming from, anyway?" Shinji asked, a bit apprehensive. "Did something happen with the guys? With Hikari-chan?"

Asuka shook her head, still feeling unsure to look at him. "No, no… it's just," she took a deep breath. Here goes nothing, she thought. "Why do you do all this?" She felt the roughened skin around Shinji's palm, where he had been crucified during Third Impact. "Why do you put up with my shit? Why do you put up with me? Is it because you promised? Because I don't… I don't want to have you near me if you're doing it just because you gave your word." Her heart felt as if it was about to break inside her chest. Get it out. Get it all out.

"Why do you put up with me?" She closed her eyes, ready to hear the retort which would break her little bubble of momentary happiness and tried to memorize the sensation of his hand on her own.

Shinji sighed, wracking his brain once again for a proper answer. How is it that I always sound like an idiot when I talk about this kind of stuff? he wondered, looking up at the ceiling. Nope, no answers there either. After a few seconds of silence, and feeling Asuka begin to loosen her hold on his hand, Shinji took a deep breath and allowed the words of the past flow through him once more.

"Maybe I didn't sound at all convincing when I said this." Shinji gripped their joined hands with his left, prodding Asuka to look at him. Her saddened electric blue eyes addressed him curiously. "But I meant it, what I said before. I still do."

Shinji gave her a warm smile. "I want to help you somehow," he whispered. "And be with you forever."

Asuka's lips twitched into a smile without her realizing it. She looked down at their joined hands, remembering with clarity when he'd last uttered those particular words. "Then don't do anything…" she whispered back, hiding her teary eyes from Shinji. "Just hold me."

Without further need for an invitation, Shinji rose from his seat and climbed into bed with her, covering her in his embrace. Asuka sighed contently when they snuggled together on the mattress and turned on the television to watch silly shows and boring news until sleep claimed them both. Maybe the world was inhospitable; maybe it was horrible, filled with horrible people who wanted nothing more than hurt those around them. Maybe they lived in a post-apocalyptic society, where meat and clean water were more of a luxury than money, but it didn't matter one bit, so long as Shinji stood there beside her. However inhospitable, the world also offered beautiful things.

They laid together under the covers, safe and happy in their small cocoon of warmth, speaking quietly to one another about this person or the antics of another, not speaking of past traumas or painful memories. It was a strange feeling, a new one for both former pilots, yet they embraced it fully, for once not afraid of the possibility of getting hurt. Life was pain, after all.

Yes, but life was also happiness, and for the first time in their lives, Asuka and Shinji felt at home.

---

Japan. Undisclosed Location. Third week of recovery.

The sound of rock music penetrated the hazed mind of Ryoji Kaji as he walked over to the abandoned warehouse with a cigarette on his mouth. When he had first heard their little club of rogue soldiers and spies had apprehended one of the members of SEELE, alive of all things, he had refused to believe it. How could it be possible, after all? These men had somehow managed to maintain their position of power even after the world had ended and restarted, and yet the brat had managed to catch one of them alive.

Thinking of the deranged boy-soldier who waited for them inside the rubble-covered and decayed building made Kaji want to bite off the filter of his cigarette. Asuka was in the hospital, recovering quite rapidly from a bullet wound the brat had been so very kind to provide. This was not, under any circumstance, included in their scenario nor had it been previously discussed. The pony-tailed agent huffed a breath filled with smoke, observing as men and women materialized seemingly out of thin air around the crooked doors of the warehouse.

Formerly made to be some sort of military cellar, the grand yet empty building was infested by the sheer loudness of the music that blazed from every corner. Kaji recognized the former CIA agent -Walter if he remembered correctly- frown upon gazing at the scene before them. The Russian sat on one of the only two wooden chairs inside the warehouse, head bobbing merrily to the song's tune while a hooded figure lay prone on the chair facing him. The other person's limbs were tied to the chair with barbed wire, Kaji noticed with distaste, and dark stains of blood were visible on the man's expensive-looking suit. Dmitri, for his part, wore his usual military pants and black sleeveless shirt, letting them all gawk at the different knots of scars that traveled from his shoulders all the way down to his wrists. On the boy's left stood a simple laptop with its screen blazing blue, and nothing but the letter S. standing out.

"Tear down these walls for me, stop me from going under… you're not the only one who knows I'm holding back!"

Dmitri jumped from his seat when he first glimpsed at them, turning to move his body to the music while a rusted kitchen knife glistened on his right hand. He kicked the hooded figure with the sole of his foot, making the man jump and scream through what Kaji supposed was a gag.

"It's not too late for me," he sang with sarcasm. "To keep from sinking further, I'm… trying to find my way out… tear down these walls for me no-"

Kaji finally lost his patience and kicked the brat in the head with every bit of momentum he could muster, satisfied when he saw Dmitri step away and rear his head back from the force. His satisfaction was short-lived, however, as the young soldier snapped his head to face him and smiled at the Japanese agent with open, demented eyes. Kaji frowned, spat out his cigarette and threw a right fist that collided with Dmitri's cheek quite audibly. Again,he simply reared his head back once more, his smile widened as blood dribbled from a cut on his forehead, courtesy of Kaji's knuckles.

"Been waiting two weeks to do that," Kaji admitted, massaging his hand. The former CIA agent chortled behind him, but otherwise did not move to stop the assault.

Kaji was about to kick the brat one last time for good measure, hopefully even snap his neck with the next attack, but a retired member of the FSV grabbed him by the arm and shook his head. "Dmitri," the man boomed dryly. "Mother Russia sends its regards."

The boy's deranged look intensified while he saluted with perfect form, staring at them all with a dark sort of excitement. "Well, isn't that the greatest news I've had all morning, comrade Azarov? Hey, pony tail," he said, addressing Kaji while he licked the blood around his lip. "Got the anger out of your system? It's not healthy to hold it in, you know. Your redhead can attest to that."

Kaji's temper flared and he reached for his gun. "You weren't supposed to hurt either of them! Why did you shoot them, you freak?!" Upon further search for his side-arm, Kaji noticed it was being held innocently in Dmitri's left hand.

"Looking for this?" he asked, amused, as he walked closer and closer to the hooded figure. He dropped the gun on the floor, choosing to play with the small knife in his hand instead. "Oh, I know. Poor Asuka, poor thing. Wounds to the liver tend to be so painful, too. But she's lucky, considering it wasn't even one of my best shots. Hmm... compared to what I usually do to my targets, she got away with a flea bite, I guarantee you. Besides, it was necessary."

Dmitri shrugged and turned to unmask the man being held hostage, removing the dirty bag that covered his face with a savage yank. A shocked black eye traveled from one former agent to the other; the man had a reddened cloth in his mouth, his right eye was all but swollen shut and his large, pointed nose looked crooked, as if it had just been broken and reset. The man looked skinny and feeble, just short of fifty years old if Kaji had to guess. White, shoulder-length hair covered half of the man's head, and a pair of damaged glasses hung from his broken nose.

Dmitri smirked, turning to address the few men and women around him. "May I present Hugo Steinberg, otherwise known as SEELE 04. He's not only the former Israeli Ambassador, he's also a grand oil entrepreneur, and principal benefactor of the construction of Unit 03, Unit 04, and the EVA Series. Quite an impressive curriculum if you ask me." He planted another kick in the man's sternum.

"I caught him in an old Japanese castle on the abandoned site of Satoyama. You see-" Dmitri kicked them man in the face, breaking his nose all over again and making some of the attendants cringe at the raw violence he displayed, "-this gentleman knew where the Children were living, which was no big secret by the way, and he chose to act... on... his… own."

Two more kicks were delivered to the man's face with brutal momentum, forcing the broken shards of the glasses deep within Steinberg's cheeks. "He was so depressed over his failed little experiment that he decided to benefit mankind by murdering two innocent little children." Kaji noticed with just how much bitterness the young assassin said the word 'innocent', as if it were poison on his tongue.

"There I was, making my weekly check on the brats, and here I find this guy with a rifle too good to be his, and too much money in his pocket." The young assassin smirked at Kaji, eyes shining with malice. "When I was sinking my knife into the fucker's stomach I noticed he had a little distress signal, so to follow it I did what he was supposed to do: I shot the brats and pretended it was a success!" He gave the wretched figure one more kick. "I pretended to be the killer, you see; it was all too simple. Why would SEELE ever doubt their most loyal Russian dog? Turns out SEELE didn't even know! This bastard arranged that little incident two weeks ago all by himself!"

Nakamura looked on the torture session without interest, choosing to observe Dmitri closely. "You followed the distress signal, you say? You were not authorized to work just yet, Krupnov."

Dmitri directed a cold smile at the prosecutor. "Does it really matter at all, now that we've got our hands on one of them, Nakamura-san? Besides, had I not done what I did, we'd be burying the brats as we speak. I had to arrange for them to be taken to a more secure location." He turned to remove the gag from the man's mouth, forcing the member of SEELE to cough violently. "You thought you were impregnable in your little castle of money, didn't you?" Dmitri asked sadistically, sinking the knife in his victim's right hand and twisting.

The scream forced Kaji to cringe and reevaluated the dangers of hitting the boy. "Aren't we supposed to interrogate him?" he asked of the former CIA agent in English. The older man huffed, turning to look at him with cold, cynical eyes.

"What for? The brat's already got everything we could possibly extract from him. Just sit back and enjoy the show." Hatred was pure and putrid in the man's gaze, surprising Kaji. "My son worked as an engineer for NERV's branch in the US," he admitted as Dmitri continued the relentless assault on the older man. "He was swallowed up by Unit 04, and never came back from the Ocean." Walter spat, making the other Russian in the room smile knowingly. "I've been waiting too long for this."

"So?!" Kick, kick, punch. The sound of facial bones breaking reverberated in the cold warehouse. "You thought you could just act on your own?!" Another kick. Dmitri grabbed the man's head by his hair and delivered a devastating knee to the side of Steinberg's skull. "Thought you'd rid me of my fun? Thought you could touch Ikari Shinji?!" An ax kick to the skull, forcing the man's scalp to gash open. "Thought you were invincible, huh?!" Two strikes to the face and stomach, forcing the man deeper into the barbed wire that tied him down to the chair.

"What else were you expecting?" asked the CIA agent when he noticed Kaji's increasingly surprised and disgusted look. "A trial? Life in prison? No… no that's too good for the likes of these." Kick, kick. Blood sprinkled on Dmitri's smiling face, boots and fists, making him look all the more deranged. "Jail would be a gift for these rats. They deserve what they're getting, every bit of it; the death of your common street dog, beaten to death by a sick fuck in the middle of a dump."

Dmitri sat on Steinberg's lap and continued to rain punch after hard punch on the man's face. "Think you could run away forever, eh?" Punch. "Thought you were untouchable, didn't you, you little squggly worm?" Punch, punch, elbow. "I love killing people like you." Two more vicious punches fell in the man's cheek and temple. "You think you're so smart, so beyond us, don't you?!" Punch, punch, elbow, elbow. " I love opening up your heads." Punch, punch. "Making you bleed." Punch. "Ripping out your guts." Punch. "Squishing out your brains!" Punch, Punch. "You are my absolute favorite people to kill!"

"You…" the old man wheezed out, bleeding freely from his mouth, nose and skull. There was little on Steinberg's face that was recognizable anymore. "You dare… betray us?" The man coughed up blood, sprinkling it on the boy's cheek. Dmitri smiled even wider; the sick smirk threatening to split his mouth in two. He grabbed Steinberg's mangled head with both his hands and pressed his forehead against the man's face.

"What's that, boss?" he asked. "I can't hear you over the sound of your bones breaking." The man's one visible eye looked glassy, almost ready to fall into unconsciousness.

"You… we bred you… trained you… we made you what you are. Is this… is this… how you repay our generosity?!" Dmitri squeezed the man's skull between his hands, his eyes quickly turning fearsome with insanity. "You can't win. We have your little toy locked up, we have your little brother's soul… re-remember?" The man coughed, drifting in and out of consciousness. "What… what could they possibly offer… to someone like you… who has nothing… how did they buy you off…?" Steinberg tried to smirk, but in that moment Dmitri's forehead collided with his mouth, knocking out two of the man's front teeth.

Steinberg spat out a glob of blood on Dmitri's face. "What did… they offer… huh? Jus…justice?"

The boy slapped Steinberg over the head, finally rising from his body and turning to glare at the people around him. "Justice?" he asked, sweat rolling off his insanity-consumed face. "Do you think this is some soap opera?" the young assassin exclaimed, raising his arms to the skies. "Do you even know what that word means?" His insanity quickly turned to rage as he delivered one final, devastating roundhouse kick to the man's head.

He knelt before Steinberg, taking his head once again between bloodied fingers. "Do you know what they say in my country, boss? Forgiveness is the pillar of justice. We're way past forgiveness. And so, I'm afraid we're a little bit past justice," he spat hatefully. "No. Most certainly not, boss. They offered me the one thing you could not."

Kaji tried not to cringe when the boy removed Steinberg's eyeball from its socket in a single, fluid motion. "I couldn't give two shits about justice, boss. I want revenge."

Kaji saw three or four heads nod at Dmitri's statement, surprising him once more as the boy removed the rusted knife from Steinberg's impaled limb and pressed the dull edge of the blade to the man's throat. Maybe I'm biting off more than I can chew again, Kaji thought dispassionately. From the ten people around him, about seven or eight seemed to be enjoying Dmitri's sickening antics just as much as the young soldier, including Walter himself.

"I want revenge, old man. That's how they bought me off. Your heads, your beating hearts, served to me on a silver platter. My father's head, still attached to his body, that's my payment. Can you promise me these things? Can you buy me off with your life?" The sadistic smile widened. "I want revenge for my mother, my brother, my comrades and my country. I want to see everything you've ever done burn. I want to see everything go up in flames. But for the time being…" Dmitri pushed the rusted blade deep within the man's throat. "I'll settle for watching you die!"

The dreadful sound of a man drowning in his own blood soon permeated the warehouse. Heads that had been nodding contentedly turned at last, faces scrunched up in disgust as Dmitri slowly severed Steinberg's neck with the rusted knife. He was slow and cautious about it, Kaji noticed, making sure not to cut the jugular or the windpipe too quickly, extending the man's agony to the end. The gurgles soon turned to a mind-curling wheeze while blood splattered and stained the boy's smiling face.

"Does anyone else hear a pig? A pig dying like a pig, huh?" Dmitri asked, pushing the blade further into Steinberg's neck. "Where's all your precious money, now? Look at me, look at me!" He grabbed the old man's face with his left hand as his right continued to sever his flesh. "I want to see it when you step into Hell. How does it feel, oh great untouchable one percent, to be killed by a lowlife child-soldier? How does it feel?!"

Kaji once again turned to Walter, watching the man grin sadistically. "Isn't it fitting?" he asked the pony-tailed agent. "That they should die at the hands of one of their experiments?"

"I thought you wanted to kill them yourself, along with the boy," the FSV man muttered under his breath. Walter huffed and turned to him.

"He killed some agents, true. But my men got cocky; they thought he was just a kid, and died for their mistake. Everyone in this room, hell, everyone in this world deserves a go at SEELE."

The sickening sound of the slow beheading continued to distract Kaji. "But who deserves it more?" Walter asked, redirecting his glare to the gruesome scene before him. "Aside from the Langley kid and Ikari Shinji, aside from Ayanami Rei... who has more right to stain their hands with SEELE's blood more than this brat?"

Kaji's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Who do you think gave him all those scars? Us?" retorted the CIA agent. "Who do you think trained him until his bones broke, used him like a guinea pig, forced him to kill since he was able to hold a gun, forced him to obey, to slaughter innocents? Who do you think forced him into the Entry plug, again and again, to be slowly torn apart for study purposes? Who do you think unmade him?"

A loud crack interrupted them when Dmitri gave the severed head a final brutal twist and separated it from the spinal column, raising the bloodied mass of flesh to the ceiling where it dripped crimson liquid onto his face. The boy was breathing heavily; his hand curled against the head when he presented it to the screen, bloodied and unrecognizable. Kaji suddenly feared for Asuka and Shinji; if the scenario went according to plan, one of them would have to face Dmitri. He gulped as quietly as he could, for he knew Asuka was unlikely to survive if faced against him.

"There's your grim reaper, Kaji," muttered Walter, strangely amused. "The perfect child soldier. The perfect pilot. Look at him, he's insane. Only people like them can understand, only people like Ikari or Sohryu could relate. Only someone like Ayanami could understand what it's like; to be forced onto a gruesome path your entire life, to be made a weapon without any humanity, a killing machine set to be unleashed whenever your creators feel like it."

The head fell to ground with a wet sound and rolled all the way to Nakamura's feet. Dmitri bowed deeply, as if he had just performed in a concert, and turned to look at them all with a serene smile plastered on his blood-spattered face. "They're Doctor Frankenstein, Kaji, and I'm the monster," the assassin said calmly. "I've waited for this chance for twelve years." He kicked the head in the direction of the small computer. "This is a first step. My mission's true objective. Are you satisfied, boss?" The boy's red hands picked up the head once again and presented it to the screen. "Is this what you want for them? Are you sure you want me to go through with this?"

YES. The words blinked on the otherwise empty mainframe.

HUNT THEM DOWN. KILL THEM ALL. ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THE CHILDREN.

DESTROY THE EVANGELIONS AT ALL COSTS.

"You have your orders, ladies and gentlemen," boomed the Russian. "Enclosed with the drive you received yesterday are the encoded files of each and every one of your targets. Bring them to me, and I'll do the rest. Oh, and Kaji..." The pony-tailed man, who had already turned to leave, addressed Dmitri with cold eyes. "Good kick. You need more momentum, though. Try pivoting on your other foot. Open your chest, swing your arm more, it'll pay off."

One by one, the members of their small organization left the warehouse, down to the point where only the Russian and the laptop remained. The beheaded corpse had long since stopped bleeding, but Dmitri kicked it to the ground for good measure, and collected a towel from his duffle bag along with a gallon of gasoline. After pouring the liquid over the corpse and cleaning his face, he took out the golden lighter he'd stolen from Steinberg's nightstand, engraved with the dead man's name, and lit it.

"Why do you hate your kid so much? I'm just wondering. You came up with this stupid plan, after all." He spat next to the decapitated body. "You know damn well what it means when you tell me to do my worst," Dmitri remarked as he threw the lighter, and watched the body be engulfed in flames. "What the fuck were you even thinking?" He laughed loud enough to scare the pigeons above him. "Do you think they'll forgive you, after it's all done? Welcome you back after so long; after they've had to suffer so much to break the walls you built?"

The computer beeped. NO.

"Then why do all this?"

BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD. DOES IT NOT?

The young assassin barked another harsh laugh. "It does," he agreed, picking up the severed head. He threw it into the pyre along with the stained rag and watched as it was engulfed in flames. "It really does."

To Be Continued …

---

Inspirational Music: Systematic Chaos (Album), Black Clouds and Silver Lighting (Album), Octavarium (Album) - Dream Theater. Burn – Papa Roach. Mer de Noms (Album) – A Perfect Circle.

Asuka's Oath (Yeah, I speak German too, who knew, right?): "I, Asuka Langley Sohryu, hereby swear on my honor that I will never again hit Shinji Ikari, never again abuse him, so that I can stay by his side. I also swear that to the best of my abilities, I will protect and care for Shinji Ikari. I swear it on my honor! I swear it on my life!" (Shout out to my friend birthofthecool for correcting the German part).

AN: Alrighty, then! To all those who thought a juicy little lemon was on its way….yeah,no. Get your mind out of the gutter, it's not my style. Feel free to imagine it, though!

Now, Warning, long ramble ahead! Feel free to jump down to the last lines!

Once again, sorry for the long, long wait. I'm not gonna make excuses, I know my fanbase is loyal (you all know who you are) and understands that I have to work, study and basically be a productive member of fucking society on a daily basis. I'm not a school kid anymore, and doesn't that just suck? Still revising!

Now, to more pressing subjects. One, to those who think I'm portraying Shinji as more of a wimp that he was, I advice you watch the series, read the manga and go over EoE once again, maybe you'll find some enlightenment and try to understand trauma changes you.

Two, my made-up character. Yeah, I know most of you hate the dude, but that's exactly the point! We need an antagonist, someone to hate, someone who's not entirely bad or entirely good so the story flows with more finesse, someone who's just there to do crazy shit, because fuck it I made him up and now he exists. Cope. Kinda like my own Mari Makinami, sort of! Scratch that. Motherfuckers, my OC rocks way harder than that bitch. I honestly felt bad for creating him after chapter 8, which in turn gave me a shitty case of writer's block, but whatever. After watching Rebuild, I honestly felt like one little crazy Russian child-soldier wasn't as bad as rewriting the entire fucking plot of the series. The latest movies just proved my point. Why Russian? I was raised very close to former Soviet generals, and child soldiers of both Russian nationality and my own. Russian culture is therefore very dear to my heart.

Finally, the whole deal with the sub-plot (hunting SEELE). I'd love to think humanity would learn from a cataclysmic event like Third Impact, but come on, let's be a bit manga realistic here, hehe. I need to tie that loose end, 'cause if you think about it Shinji, Asuka or anyone at NERV wouldn't really survive for long if SEELE returned. So. There you go.

That's it for now, folks. Signing off, until next time! Which, depending on my work load might be a few months from today. I thank you so very much for your patience. I thank you for your advice and support. I especially thank you for taking the time to read what I write, comment on it and stay with me through this journey.

A special mention and a big, big hug to my mofockoer MisterHalt for helping me make this chapter so much more disgestible and caring for the typos!

PEACE.