'Shots fired at the police…shit…officer down, 10-1, officer down.'

How many days ago was that? Was it a week? Two weeks? She didn't know, in fact she didn't know much at this point and it was terrifying.

She reached around in the dark and found her cellphone, she had nearly a dozen missed calls, a few unopened text messages.

She couldn't deal with any of that yet.

It was just after two in the morning, on what was possibly day four, or maybe it was day five.

She rubbed the back of her neck in hopes of working out the kinks, but it was pointless and she stood up carefully, her joints protesting as she moved. She glanced at the figure in the hospital bed, he was bathed in a soft light and if she didn't know better she'd think he was just sleeping.

He had finally graduated from the ventilator to supplemental oxygen and then finally to room air, for that she was thankful.

She'd take small victories.

Anything to show that things were trending in the right direction.

She went to his bedside and gently caressed his cheek with the back of her hand the stubble of his beard rough against her smooth skin. She pushed the hair from his eyes, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead.

"Take all the time you need Adam, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." Kim whispered, she had heard from Kevin and Trudy that Adam rarely left her side when she was last in the hospital and she was bound and determined to do the same.

Kim went into the small bathroom and splashed some water on her face, she was exhausted. She wasn't sleeping well at all, if she did manage to fall asleep she was either awoken by the hospital staff as they checked on Adam or by a nightmare.

She hadn't been on scene with Adam when he had been shot, she was chasing down a lead with Voight when the call came over the radio.

"Chicago PD, stop!" Adam called out as he chased the subject down the alley, he hoped to god Kevin was on his way, "Stop or I will…" he didn't know what hit him, he was hit in the side and his entire torso exploded with an intense pain unlike anything he had felt before. His knees buckled and he fell down, he managed to stay on all fours and it was then he heard footsteps approaching.

"Kev?" Adam struggled to speak, his right hand pressed tightly against his side blood seeping between his fingers. He was able to sit up a bit and it didn't take him long to realize his mistake, not long at all.

"Nah, man." He sneered before firing off another shot, this one hitting Adam in the chest.

The bullet piercing his vest.

"Shots fired at the police" Adam screamed, his energy waning with each word, "shit.." he groaned, "officer down…10-1, officer down" he repeated, "I'm Adam Ruzek…" he fell against the brick building. "I'm hi.." he gasped! "…hit…I'm hit…it's bad…blood…"

Kim felt as if the air was being ripped from her lungs as Adam's plea for help filled Voight's car, she gripped the console and listened intently as Adam somehow managed to keep talking, "offender….run…." He gasped, "…tall…white…"

Adam was struggling, he got to his feet, "…in…pursuit…." He took a step maybe two before everything started to dull, his vision became soft and hazy, he had a ringing in his ears and buckets of sweat seemed to seep from his pores. "I'm…." Adam mumbled, "…bad…" he crumpled in half before falling to the ground, the side of his head hitting the curb with a violent thud.

"Adam!" Kim called out.

Kevin rounded the corner just as Adam's head struck the curb. He would never be described as a fast runner, he was a big dude and big dudes didn't run well, but he had managed to get to Adam's side within mere seconds.

He was on his knees and took Adam into his lab, "C'mon Ruz…don't do this." He grabbed his radio, "Roll an ambo…" he glanced up at the street sign a few feet away and gave their location to dispatch, "Hurry!" Kevin ripped open Adam's vest, "Bullet penetrated the vest, on GSW to the chest.." he moved him slightly, "one to the side and trauma to the head.." he was fighting tears, "Hurry the fuck up!"

Kim would never forget the feeling of helplessness that washed over her the second she heard Adam was in distress, nor would she forget the sight of him covered in blood, pale, and unresponsive and being cradled in Kevin's arms as Kevin sat on the sidewalk holding him in his lap.

She didn't remember her legs giving out on her, she just remembered being held up by Voight and then Kevin. She didn't know when Kevin had gone from holding Adam to holding her, nor did she remember arriving at the hospital.

Adam was instantly rushed into surgery and it had been a very long night, he was in surgery for close to ten hours, the doctors had been upfront with them and how serious Adam's injuries were. They fell short of completely giving up on Adam but they had made it clear that it was an extremely dire situation and that the next twelve hours or so would be critical.

"We will have a clearer picture then"

Kim stilled cringed at that statement, it felt so hopeless and it was almost as if they were already writing Adam off for dead.

In hindsight Kim knew they weren't giving up on Adam, they were just providing all of them with the honest truth.

Adam had suffered extensive blood loss, broken ribs, a collapsed lung, his spleen had been obliterated, and a fractured hip. Unfortunately for Adam his gunshot wounds ended up being the easier injuries to treat and while they were extensive they had a more straightforward treatment plan was available.

When Adam fell to the ground he had suffered a skull fracture which resulted in a brain bleed and it had them in a 'wait and see' game.

Kim returned to the sofa that had become her bed over the last few days, she grabbed her cellphone and went through her text messages. She read them all but only replied to a select few, Kevin and Trudy had formed a bit of a tag team when it came to caring for Makayla. They'd alternate days, one of them would stay the night at Kim's apartment so Mack would be in her own home and they hoped that one tiny slice of normalcy would bring her some comfort.

They were intentionally vague with Makayla when it came to Adam's injuries, she knew he had been injured at work and that as of now, she couldn't visit him as the doctors wanted Adam to sleep.

She seemed to take it in stride but by the third day she was a mess, she began to act out and shut down, she refused to speak and wouldn't leave her bedroom. They ended up calling Kim and she agreed to come home for a bit provided someone would sit with Adam, he would not wake up alone. She was adamant and refused to live Adam's side until Kevin arrived and then he was given strict orders that he was not to leave the room and if Adam were to wake up, Kevin was to call Kim and she would return.

Adam didn't wake up in Kim's absence and that had been a few days ago.

Kim checked the calendar app on her phone and counted the days, they were now at day 10 of Adam being in the hospital. In all that time Kim had only left his side once or twice and never for very long.

They were now bringing Makayla to the hospital to visit Kim, she still wasn't allowed in Adam's room but they would have a quick meal in the cafeteria, they'd spend some time outside in the gardens or at the playground off the pediatric wing. Occasionally Kim would allow Mack to look in the window of Adam's room, though she only allowed that once Adam was off the ventilator.

As she scrolled through the texts she came across one from Bob Ruzek who had yet another excuse for why he still hadn't flown up from Florida to see Adam and it made her blood boil. She tossed the phone on her make shift bed and buried her face in her hands, she took a few deep breaths before grabbing her phone again and sending a reply.

"Don't bother coming, Bob. Adam doesn't need you. I see it now, I see it all. It all makes sense now. My heart breaks for Adam, that he didn't have the father he deserved. Thankfully my daughter does, Adam is the daddy that our daughter needed, he's the daddy that Adam needed as a little boy. You could never be the man that Adam is, Adam is the man he is in spite of you. He's a good man, he's one of the best people I know, that I love."

She was tempted to turn her phone off but decided against it, she wasn't shocked at all when just a few minutes later she received a text from Bob.

"Let me know if he wakes up"

Not when, but if and that only added to Kim's anger, she wasn't about to reply. She knew that if she replied to him now, he would keep it going, and she didn't have the energy or the desire to do so.

She managed to fall back to sleep and got in a few hours of halfway decent sleep, she woke up to Kevin tapping her shoulder, "Good sleep?" Kevin asked, "It's good to see." He pulled her up into his arms and hugged her, he was a bit surprised when she burst into tears. "Hey…hey….what's wrong? Did something change?" Kevin asked her.

Adam had seemingly turned the corner and was doing well but they had been here before, it was in the early days of this nightmare but it had knocked them all on their asses. Adam had been healing nicely from surgery and while they were still concerned about his head injury everything else was healing as expected.

Until it wasn't.

Out of nowhere Adam spiked a fever and it caused his heart rate to become erratic and his blood pressure plummeted, he ended up with double pneumonia and it was very touch and go. Thankfully the antibiotics worked and after a few days of hard core antibiotics things stabilized.

Needless to say it set Kevin on edge, "Burgess, you're scaring me girl."

Kim finally composed herself, "Adam's okay, nothing like that. It's just everything. All of it." She moved away from Kevin and went to the window and looked down on the city that she had nearly lost her life protecting, the city Adam nearly died for, "Everything is wrong. I did it all wrong, I was so dumb. So easily influenced. I always do that, I don't know why either. I didn't trust my gut, I didn't trust what I knew, what I've always known. What is still true to this day." Kim went to Adam's bed and took hold of his hand, "Why couldn't I see what was always right here?"

Kevin was lost, "Forgive me Kim, but what the hell are you talking about?"

It was as if she didn't hear Kevin's question, "No matter what, it's always been here. No matter the ask, it was always here. I don't know what I was…am, what I am afraid of, why I keep pushing it away."

Kevin sat down in the chair and let her go, he was slowly putting the pieces together and he knew she didn't need him to offer his two cents. Not now anyway.

"He loves me. Adam loves me. The kind of love that every little girl dreams of, the kind of love I dreamed of…" Kim wiped her eyes, "I had it Kevin, I had it all and I threw it away and for what?"

Kevin knew it was a rhetorical question and continued to just listen.

"One failed relationship after the other, an 'I love you probably' mumbled in a bar" Kim laughed lightly, "I'm an idiot."

"Burgess…" Kevin couldn't listen to her berate herself, "It wasn't that simple…"

Kim turned to face him, "No, Kevin it was. It wasn't Adam, it was never him. I was the reason our engagement ended, it was because I let someone else in my head, someone that wasn't looking out for me, someone that was out for himself, someone that wanted to see Adam hurt. It wasn't about me, not really it was always about Adam."

"Roman?"

"Yes." Kim shuddered at the mention of his name, "I didn't trust him. From day one my gut screamed that he wasn't what he seemed, that something was off and I didn't listen."

"It's in the past, you've got to know Adam is over that bastard." Kevin offered.

"Adam never turned his back on " Kim explained, "I treated him like shit but it didn't matter, if I needed something or if I was in trouble, who was always there for me, no questions asked?"

"Adam."

"Yes. He has always been there for me, Kevin. Even when I didn't deserve it. Though it all, Adam has been the one constant in my life, the person I could turn to. He's never turned his back on me. No matter how many times I've pushed him away. He keeps coming back."

"He loves you. That simple. He loves you."

Kim started to cry, "I know, I love him too, Kevin. I love him so much, so much so that it scares me."

"I get it. Love is scary. It's so powerful and all consuming that it's terrifying." Kevin offered, "but that's what makes it special, makes it worth all the heartache. Ruz knows that, that's why he's never been able to shake you, he tried." Kevin grimaced, "it was painful and a bit ugly but he was trying to shake you..he couldn't though. It didn't take him long to figure out that he couldn't get you out of his heart, you're it for him and what you two have now…" he paused to collect his thoughts a bit, "this pseudo family you've got going on with Mack, he will settle claim it's enough for him, but he wants more with you. Right now he is taking whatever he can get, that's how much he loves you, and your daughter. You're it for him."

"He's that for me. I'm just so afraid of it failing…"

"I get that, I do, but is the fear of it failing reason enough to to not even try?" Kevin asked her, "Adam is a mess, Kim. He's loud, he's a hot head, he can annoy the fool out of you with his constant jumping around and his need to break into song or the level of energy he possess, bit he's a loyal as they come. If you need him, he is there. He will always have your back, he will do whatever it takes to support you. He does all of those things for me, and he's my best friend. He was lost when you were missing and I was too busy following the book and protocol while he was crossing line after line to find you, he had one goal and that was finding you and I'm ashamed to say I called him out on it. We got into a bit of dust up over it..but at the end of the day it didn't matter because Adam Ruzek is my brother. I am damn lucky to have Adam in my corner."

Kim wasn't sure what to say.

"Don't get me wrong Adam messed up too, he didn't do the right thing when you guys were engaged, he wasn't ready. He's not that guy anymore and you're not that girl."

"I love him." Kim kissed Adam's hand, "I have always loved him, I was so afraid of losing him that I pushed him away, he couldn't leave me if I left him…" she paused, "…hearing him over the radio..seeing him in your lap, he was lifeless. I thought he was already gone…" she fought a sob as it rose in her throat, "I won't lose him..I can't. I love him and I want him at my side."

Kevin smiled. "You best tell him that. Soon as those eyes open, you need to tell him that."

"I will." Kim smiled, "I will tell him that everyday for the rest of my life."

"I gotta be honest for a minute."

"Okay." Kim eyed him suspiciously.

"I should've spoken up, when all that was going down I should've set Ruz straight and I should have spoken to you. I should've popped that little shit Roman in the mouth, I should've slapped him…" he pointed to Adam, "upside the head when he hooked up with Upton."

Kim waved him off, "Stop. It's all water under the bridge now. No point in rehashing it" She put Adam's hand down and stepped away from him, "I can't change the past, I can make sure we don't make the same mistakes going forward."

Kevin cleared his throat, "So Makayla is itching for a visit. She's with Platt right now, they're going to the zoo. That's lifted her spirits a bit but she is really struggling, she misses Adam and she is scared, she asked me if he was going to die like her first mommy."

He could see that it was a bit of a gut punch for Kim, "I tried to assure her that he wouldn't die, that he was getting stronger every day but I don't think she gets it." He knew Kim was trying to shelter Mack from the worst of it but he was starting to think keeping her away was doing more harm than good, "perhaps it's time she gets to come in and see him, she can talk to him and see that he is doing better and maybe his lazy ass will decide to wake up."

Kim laughed, "I think you're right. He's stable and his doctors are very optimistic and they say it's just a waiting game at this point." They had run another ct scan and things looked good and they didn't foresee any major complications from the head injury.

"Can I tell Platt to bring Queenie here after the zoo?" Kevin asked.

"Please.