Chapter 14: Okay, Everyone?
A chapter where rocky reunions serve as the foundation for stronger ones.
"… does my pen, only write bitter words for those- for those- ugh, no that's not it either." Monika sighed as she lowered her hands from the keys of the ebony piano and pondered where exactly she was messing up. She didn't know how to write sheet music, and all two of the songs she had written were naturally learned by ear. This meant that whenever she wasn't satisfied with her playing, she would have to sit and experiment key by key until she figured it out. She had been able to play Your Reality perfectly a month ago, so why was she suddenly mixing up her flats when they should be sharps? Were her fingers too tense? Maybe she needed a new song.
It was at that moment that a slow twinkle of movement caught her eye, and she looked up to see a bundle of strawberry blonde hair peeking into the room from the door that now stood ajar. Normally Monika came to the music room to clear her head and have some time away from classmates desperate to climb the social ladder, or trying to get the answers to last week's socioeconomics quiz. Sometimes they came to her for answers to classes she didn't even have, and she would always do her best to oblige until she could retreat to the piano during her final period. But with Sayori, she didn't feel the social pressure that she did with others; being with Sayori was a comfort space of its own.
Monika looked up at Sayori and gave a silent wave, while Sayori smiled sheepishly in return. Seeming to sense that she was intruding, Sayori gave an apologetic look and motioned for Monika to continue while she gazed about the room and stared at the various instruments and panels. Monika smiled at her briefly before turning back to the piano and huffing through her nose. She was getting fixated on one point, trying to make it perfect and instead not making any progress; 'If you keep your pen in the same spot for too long, you'll just get a big dark puddle of ink.' had been her own advice after all. Perhaps if she just started hitting keys that sounded halfway decent together, something would come to mind.
Monika pressed her finger into the C key, and then the E key on a whim. It sounded good, not great, but good. She began to play a short set that was very bouncy, with G and E following after. It reminded her of a song she had heard long before, but couldn't name, though it gave her a melancholy feel. She increased the tempo, a smile spreading softly across her face as she felt a bit of a rhythm coming on, and the faster she played the more upbeat it became. It wasn't much to go on, but it just sounded right to her, and the more she continued the better she felt.
"Oh, oh! Let me see if I can find...!" A moment later a sudden pling noise caught her attention and she glanced up again to see Sayori smiling down at an acoustic guitar that she had taken out of its cage and strummed. Their eyes met and after sitting down in a chair along with a few seconds of tuning and finding the right rhythm, Sayori followed into the melody Monika had laid out. It was short, rough around the edges, and definitely wouldn't win either of them any tips on the street, but there was something very freeing in its loose and bouncy style. Every time Sayori would strum the wrong chord she would let out a quick "Oops!" before picking back up, and Monika would slow down to let her back in. After a minute of playing the melody and experimenting with its direction, Sayori struck a final set of chords and raised a fist into the air as if she had just finished a solo for a cheering crowd. "And good night!" She called out, before falling into a fit of giggles in her chair.
Monika smirked and let her eyes roll, slowing the melody back down to its 4/4 time signature while Sayori packed the school guitar back up and put it away. Her hand couldn't play piano terribly long before becoming sore, and so she allowed her left hand to continue while she rested her right. After a minute Monika felt the bench beneath her shift as Sayori sat beside down and rested her crutches across her lap with a sigh. Her head bobbed absently to the song as she sat and listened, and so Monika decided to finally speak.
"That was really good Say, you kept up pretty well." She said, "I didn't even know you could play the guitar, the only thing I really noticed was that you were a teensy bit flat." Sayori huffed and crossed her arms, giving Monika a fake pout as she turned away.
"Hmph! No fair, I'm still developing!" She teased. Monika squeezed her eyes shut and silently hoped the sound of her playing would drown out any less than pure thoughts that managed to squeeze into her head. Sayori laughed at her own joke, giving Monika a playful tap with the back of her hand; how could laughter be so attractive? Just genuine, unrestrained laughter. "I'm kidding, or at least I hope I am anyway. So, was that your song? Did you come up with it or-" Sayori gave a small gasp and brought her hands up to cover her mouth, an obvious smile hidden underneath. "Could it be, has the great president of the literature club moved on to greater things? Has our Monika finally moved on from poems to musical scores, written in secret beneath a moonlit bridge for a fabled lover?"
"Fabled lover?" Monika snorted. "Not quite. Though I did technically compose this and another piece, I can't actually read sheet music so everything is by ear. It makes it difficult to come up with something new." She had technically written "Your Reality" for them, which was the closest thing to a lover she had ever had, so in a way Sayori was somewhat close to the mark. The tune she was playing wasn't Your Reality, but she wondered how they might compliment each other. With her left hand keeping the melody, Monika readied her right and began feeling out the notes for her original song. The song sounded so familiar, where had she heard it before? Both of her hands stopped playing, and the entire room went silent as she remembered where exactly the song had come from.
You know its name, don't you? Say it. Monika suddenly felt very cold, and very afraid of the room around her. She didn't feel comfortable in her own skin, and feelings she hadn't been allowed to feel came flooding through her like a tidal wave. It's easy! I'll say it with you, ready? Oh how she hated the smell of rot, of decay and death, but how easy it came back to her. There was a voice asking if she was okay, so close and also so far away. What had Sayori and Yuri told her when she had gone through this before? She had no stuffed animal, and she couldn't hug Sayori or the smell would overwhelm her. She tried recounting her senses one by one, would that work? Sayo-nara, Sayo-nara, see? Say it. Sayo-nara.
"Sayo-" Monika kept her eyes shut, unable to hear her own voice over the sound of rope creaking from beside her. So loud. Too loud. "Sayori, um… what kind of music do you like? Like that band shirt you have, the black one with the streetlight, tell me about it. Please." She tried to keep her voice steady, fearful of hyperventilating right there in the music room. She wasn't going to break down again, she couldn't and she wouldn't. She was so tired of succumbing to her own weakness, she just wanted to be normal for once, to fight back in any way she could. Fighting back, without causing harm.
"O-oh, um… they're a ska band from America, I think." Sayori quietly explained from beside her. "I don't understand half of what they say, but I love the fast-paced tempo and loud brass music that ska usually has, cause it gets me active. Oh! I also like the songs that you always hear on the radio and they're usually all earworms, but you never know the names to any of them!" It was such a Sayori response, which is exactly what Monika had been hoping for. She focused on her breathing, listening as Sayori listed off her favorite bands and singers, some familiar and some not so much. After a few moments Monika risked opening her eyes and glanced over to her side where Sayori was still sitting. She saw no blood, no open mouth or pale skin, and instead of hazy dead eyes there was only a pair of sparkling blue ones meeting her own curiously.
Monika let out a small sigh of relief and rested her hand; she hadn't realized she had been clenching the both of them during her episode. See? That wasn't so hard, you got it in the end. Was she taunting herself for remembering the name, or congratulating herself for being able to resist a flashback? Sayori's fingers gently nudged her arm, and Monika could tell by the worried look she had that her little moment hadn't gone completely unrecognized, but Monika managed a weak smile and shook her head.
"I'm okay, just… tired. Tutoring all weekend has me a little out of sorts, that's all." She explained. It wasn't a complete lie, she had spent both the morning and afternoons of her weekend helping various students and children with their studies after filling up her schedule Friday evening. Only returning to the shelter in the evening, Monika had hardly seen Sayori for more than a few hours since Friday, as Yuri had kindly offered to let Sayori stay at her house during the day while the shelter was closed. Sayori didn't look entirely convinced, but she gave a smile that took away the remaining chill and warmed her soul.
Thinking there was no better time than now, Monika leaned down and reached for her bag where a small box lay hidden away in the front pack, tightly wrapped in a red ribbon and containing none other than Sayori's birthday gift. After she and Natsuki had talked to each other behind the bistro and gave each other their apologies in their own way, Monika had managed to buy the gift just before it got too late. In retrospect, it wasn't a very good gift in her opinion; she had probably received grander and more meaningful gifts than what she had bought, but Monika hoped it was the thought that would count. Just as she pulled back the zipper the sound of a door opening caught her attention, and she looked up to see a pair of hawk-like eyes scanning the room before landing on her.
Monika gulped; the look in Ms. Fujita's eyes told her this was not a social call. "Ms. Monika," Ms. Fujita started, "I'm glad to have finally found you, you're wanted by Principal Katagiri in the front office. With me, please." She held the door open and waited, continuing to stare Monika down as she hesitantly lifted her bag onto her shoulder. Even Sayori seemed to be unable to meet the intimidating gaze of Ms. Fujita, instead looking at her hands as she tapped her fingers together anxiously. They both knew what this was about. They swapped mournful glances before Monika forced on a much more hopeful expression as she passed.
"I'll see you in the clubroom, Say." She promised. Sayori said nothing, giving only a little wave of goodbye as Monika left the room with Ms. Fujita. As she glanced back, she could almost swear she saw the glint of something being pulled from Sayori's blazer as the door shut with a gentle click. A small sigh escaped Monika's lips as they walked, and Ms. Fujita glanced over to her. There was a part of her that was glad Ms. Fujita had waited until after her near-episode experience to enter the music room; she didn't want to think about how much explaining that would have led to.
"How is Ms. Moriyama's leg healing?" Ms. Fujita suddenly asked as they headed downstairs. Monika blinked a few times, caught off guard by her homeroom teacher's seemingly mundane question. Ms. Fujita was not a woman suited for small talk, and in fact seemed to go out of her way to stare at whoever attempted to confine her in it with unwavering disinterest and disapproval. Monika was almost convinced that if she answered she'd face a reprimand for wasting her teacher's time; was this her attempt at distracting Monika from the looming meeting?
Knowing better than to keep Ms. Fujita waiting, Monika replied, "O-oh, she's doing okay. I think it'll be a while before she can walk properly, the doctors said about a month or two for the tendons and ligaments to all go back into place. But she's uh, she's doing well." Ms. Fujita nodded, keeping her eyes on the hallway ahead as they approached the principal's office.
"And your Student ID?"
Monika gulped. She had completely forgotten about her non-existent information, one of the many reasons she had been so eager to get a job in the first place. It was by sheer luck nobody had looked deeper into her life, she didn't want to imagine how difficult things would be with school officials or legal officers involved. She gave Ms. Fujita a shaky nod just as they arrived at the main office.
"See to it." Her homeroom teacher unsubtly prompted. Monika nodded, looking at the door with apprehension as she reached out to grab the handle. Whatever happened on the other side was bound to affect her and likely the club for the rest of her school career, whether she was ready for it or not. "Oh, and good luck." Monika turned just in time to see Ms. Fujita swiftly turn back the way they had come, and with a small boost of confidence she knocked on the wooden door that would decide her club's future.
A voice beckoned her inside and she stepped into an ovular office lined with several shelves that showed various awards and photographs. In the center of the room stood a rich mahogany desk that on one side sat a man with dark hair slicked flat, the sides of his head faded to gray along with his beard. His eyes peered behind a pair of thin spectacles, and when he looked up to greet Monika she could see the signs of age peeking out in the form of crow's feet. On the side of the desk closest to Monika sat Natsuki, her head tilted down and her arms firmly crossed. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, her only consolation being that it was only her and Natsuki as opposed to Kanako or any of the other girls. Principal Katagiri motioned for her to take the seat next to Natsuki, and she did so as she silently steeled herself for what would come next.
Principal Katagiri cleared his throat and motioned towards Monika first. "Ahem, now I'm sure you already know why you're here, Monika. I came in today with word that a fellow classmate Ms. Okumura had scheduled a meeting in your stead, only to then hear that you of all people have been involved in a physical altercation." He leaned forward and fixed his glasses, his eyes filled more with curiosity than rebuke. "I have heard several versions of the story on the matter, and I would now like to hear yours. This is, after all, quite unusual for a student such as yourself." Explain herself? How on earth was she supposed to do that? What should she tell, what should she keep secret? She glanced at Natsuki to see if she had any indication, but she refused to meet Monika's eyes. Seeing that she was on her own, Monika sighed and began her story.
She decided to start at the festival, though she revealed only select parts such as the failure of the event and Natsuki's irritability at the debate club for how they acted during their performances. Sayori's suicide attempt and Natsuki's departure were naturally nixed from her telling, and when she explained overhearing Kanako's plan in the bathroom she removed all references to being in the stall with Sayori. By the time she got to the part about finding Natsuki in the forest, Principal Katagiri was intrigued while Natsuki looked downright startled. Monika thought that it was from hearing about everything from Monika's side for the first time, but then she realized the part that she was approaching: her own bruises. She hadn't tried terribly hard to hide them all, as she lacked proper make-up and concealer, and she would have to choose whether to snitch on Natsuki or to cover her tracks.
But what had Natsuki told them? If Natsuki had already fessed up to attacking Monika, then Monika saying the opposite would raise suspicion on both of their stories. But if she hadn't and Monika admitted it, she'd be condemning Natsuki to what was likely expulsion. She desperately flicked her gaze to Natsuki several times and hoped for a sign or an indication, but she remained unmoved and sat with her eyes on the floor. It was likely Kanako and her friends had already given their sides, but that didn't help her case either as it only pushed her to admit to Natsuki's attack.
Principal Katagiri nodded and looked at something on his computer. Notes perhaps? "Hmm, I see. And, who was it that attacked you and gave you the injuries on your face? I see that you're both sporting bruises along your cheeks." There was no doubt about it, he was lining up their stories to catch the inconsistencies. But was it just to find the truth? Monika bit her tongue and gave the most neutral route she could without dumping the blame directly onto Natsuki.
"I don't remember who attacked me." She said firmly. "All I remember is walking into the trees and everything after that is a blur until my friends found me and took me home, I'm afraid." Principal Kataigiri nodded solemnly, before turning his laptop around for the both of them to see, and clicking the spacebar. A shaky and somewhat pixelated video began to play on the screen, and the moment Monika saw it she felt her heart drop into her stomach. Even with the grainy footage and staticky sound quality, there was no mistaking the mud-splattered ponytail of Monika or the bright pink glob of wet hair that was Natsuki's. Natsuki's fingers clenched the arms of the chair tightly and her head remained fixated upon the floor, while Monika couldn't bring herself to look away no matter how she tried.
"Fuck you! Fuck your perfect teeth! Fuck your perfect boobs! Fuck your perfect grades!"
"Should we do something? She's not even holding back, christ. I thought they were like, friends or something?"
"That whole club is fucked in the head, you know how it is."
It was surreal, seeing Natsuki wail on her from a different perspective. The punches, the jabs, the gut-wrenching scream that had come from her own lungs when Natsuki stomped on her hand. Seeing it on the laptop made the skin around her wound tingle, and when the video cut out just before Monika's broken confession, she finally looked away as well. Kanako's plan had worked, which meant Monika and Natsuki's pain had been for nothing. "I take it you do not remember this, then." Principal Katagiri stated, It was not sarcastic or malicious, but his voice was tinged with concern as though he truly believed Natsuki was the aggressor and Monika the victim. It wasn't entirely a lie, but it wasn't the entire truth either.
Before Monika could try and come up with a way to refute what she had been shown, the principal turned the laptop back around and held a hand up to ask for silence. "Hearing your own testimony of events, I believe I have enough evidence to see that there is malicious intent on both sides here. Ms. Kisaragi has been in multiple altercations with other members of the debate club, and it has now escalated to ambuscades outside of school grounds."
"But she didn't- she was tricked into fighting me." Monika sputtered out. "They were going to-"
"Monika, it is admirable that even after being assaulted you would stick up for what you believe is right, but at this rate my hands are tied." Principal Katagiri admitted. "Even if you don't press charges, I still have rightly upset parents of a student who was injured from a skateboard to the back of the head from this fight. There have been warnings, offers of help have been made, and at this point I simply have to think about what is best for the school as opposed to one student. Yakumo High simply cannot offer to support a student who so willingly engages in delinquent behavior without showing even the slightest will to change." Nobody spoke for a moment, the implications of what was being suggested slowly sank in until Monika felt like her very soul was being crushed.
"The way things are going," He continued as he straightened some papers, "I'm afraid this extends beyond that of just one student. The biggest issue is the animosity between your club and the debate club, and I'm sad to say that shutting down both clubs for a few months might be the best start to subsiding the tension." Both Monika and Natsuki launched into frantic jumbles of protest, each one leaning closer to try and have their grievance be heard until finally Principal Katagiri raised his hand again. Both girls went quiet and sat back in their chairs, an uncomfortable silence ringing in their ears.
You'll get praised and lauded like you always want, and who do you think they'll come after? Because it sure as shit won't be you, it'll be me, like it always is. Natsuki had warned her that this would happen, and everything was playing out exactly like she said. She heard a quiet sniffle from beside her and glanced up to see Natsuki wiping her eyes with her sleeve. There was nothing she could say to fix this, now. Their plan had failed, even the hope of talking to Principal Katakiri had only proven to be the final nail in their coffins. She reached out to give Natsuki a comforting pat on the shoulder, only to have it smacked away as Natsuki stood from her chair.
"Like usual I'm just not worth the effort." She grumbled. "But that's fine, I understand where I've messed up. But my- er, the literature club, they've not done anything wrong." Although the principal was staring straight at her, she couldn't seem to meet his eyes and once again looked to the floor, shuffling her feet. "They uh, they've done nothing but try and help keep things peaceful, even when I went behind their backs and caused problems. So, it's not fair for them to get punished when getting rid of me should take care of everyone's problems. I'm the one causing everything." Monika stared at Natsuki with her lips parted in surprise, not sure how to respond to her admission of guilt. It was surprisingly selfless coming from Natsuki, and Monika remembered what Natsuki had told her about not knowing how to properly apologize. Monika's eyes glanced over to Principal Katagiri; would he accept her attempt at making amends?
The principal looked between the two of them, brows furrowed with indecision on his face. Just as he was about to speak a soft knock came from the door behind them, and they all turned around to face it. Principal Katagiri raised his voice slightly and called, "I'm in a meeting right now, please be patient for a few minutes while I finish up." The door opened up to reveal a familiar student with shoulder length blonde hair and taped together bifocals, an unreadable expression on her face as she stepped inside. Himari Ishida kept her eyes focused solely on the principal, ignoring the fearful expression Monika held and the steam that was coming from Natsuki's flushed ears. Principal Katagiri narrowed his eyes, but Himari didn't let him get a question in.
"I'm here regarding the issue of the debate and literature clubs." She stated. "I have new information that I believe deserves to be heard, before any final decision should be made regarding my club." Even Principal Katagiri seemed surprised by this, but Monika couldn't help but feel worried by Himari's arrival. It was like their day only sought to sink deeper and deeper before they could even get their heads above water. A part of Monika wanted to believe that Himari would help, would take the high-road and set them all free from this mess, but she just couldn't see it happening. "I'd like to discuss this information alone, preferably."
Natsuki stood on the tips of her toes, hands clenched into fists while Monika could only silently hope she wasn't about to start a fight in the principal's own office. "Take your high horse and shove it up your skirt, this is about our- uh, it's about the literature club too you damn jerk!" Himari didn't flinch, nor did she pay Natsuki any mind, she simply stood firm while keeping the principal's gaze as the room grew deathly quiet once again. Monika knew she should say something to jump to the defense of her club, but what was there to say? What information did Himari have that was so important, and if it was to the detriment of the literature club, what could Monika possibly say to counter it?
Principal Katagiri continued to stare for a moment before finally relenting, drawing his hands back and motioning for Monika and Natsuki to leave the room. "Very well, Ms. Ishida. I'll give you five minutes. You two, kindly wait outside and once Ms. Ishida has informed me of this new development, I will bring you two back in to decide the consequences." Natsuki looked as though she might lunge across the table and recreate the video they had been shown in real time, but Monika brushed her blazer with the edge of her fingers to get her attention and urged her to listen with a nod towards the door. Natsuki snorted, but after one final glare towards Himari she retreated after Monika and closed the door behind them with a resounding creak.
Monika sat in a waiting chair beside the door, her leg thumping against the tiled floor nervously as they awaited their verdict. Natsuki sat across from her, her arms crossed as she let out a huff and shot daggers towards the principal's door. "Shit dude, shit! Now what? She's probably in there throwing our names under the mud, or whatever the heck it's called!" Monika looked up at Natsuki, but she wasn't quite sure what to say that would calm her down. Figuring it was best to just let her vent, Monika kept her hands crossed as she stared at her feet and tried to think of some plan or deus-ex-machina to throw out, but there simply wasn't any. "They played me like an idiot, having me beat you up just to not keep their word and give the school that video. God, I'm such a fucking moron. I didn't want to destroy the club, I just wanted… I was trying to… you know, I don't even know what I wanted. Papa's gonna kill me..." She finally sighed and buried her head into her hands, the only sound in the entire hall being her breathing and Monika's thumping.
Monika lifted her own head slightly and gazed at Natsuki sitting across from her. The tough and brutish girl she had grown so used to seeing had so quickly been reduced to an anxious quivering mess, and while Monika had always known Natsuki to be full of bluster and bravado, it was still alarming to see her so vulnerable and hopeless. It was enough for Monika to remember they were all just kids, even someone like her who had been eighteen her entire life, they were all just kids doing their best to face the world with what they had. Scared, traumatized, determined kids with nobody else to fall back on but each other. Who could Natsuki fall back on? And so Monika stood from her chair and quietly sat in the one beside Natsuki, who kept her face buried in her arms while Monika slipped her school bag beneath them.
Natsuki glanced up from her hands once it became apparent that Monika intended to stay. "Don't even think about touching me." She grumbled, but Monika kept her hands to herself.
"I won't. I'll just be here for you, if you need."
Natsuki was silent, and though Monika expected a brisk retort of how she would be fine and didn't need Monika, instead all she received was a quiet "Okay." as the two of them sat side by side, and silently awaited their inevitable fate. After a moment Natsuki glanced back at Monika, but when Monika caught her eye she quickly looked away. "How uh, how's your face?" Had the situation not been so dire, Monika might've found Natsuki's choice of words comedic, but instead she raised a hand and gently patted at her cheekbone. It still stung, but only slightly.
"Not too bad." She admitted. "Yuri said that I collapsed more from being undernourished and sleep deprived as opposed to you actually knocking the stuffing out of me. My hand still hurts like hell though." When Monika glanced back, rather than crossing her arms and readying a boast for how she wasn't weak, Natsuki was staring at her strangely, as if Monika had asked her a rather complicated math question. "What about yours?"
Natsuki ignored her question and instead matched it with another. "Why would you of all people be under-" Her question was never answered as the door to the principal's office opened to reveal a still blank-faced Himari, who stepped out into the hall without so much as a glance towards either girl. Without a word, she walked down into the lobby before rounding a corner toward the stairwell and disappeared. It hadn't been terribly long, just what exactly had Himari told Principal Katagiri? Natsuki's glare towards the corner told Monika she wasn't alone in her silent questioning. A moment later, Principal Katagiri stepped out as well and shut the door behind him before turning towards Monika and Natsuki.
"Well, that seems to be the way of things." He murmured briskly before taking off his glasses. "You two, I hope you realize just how rare of an opportunity it is to be so close to having your club revoked for several months only to have a contrivance save you at the last moment." Principal Katagiri wiped his glasses while Monika and Natsuki swapped glances; did that mean their club was safe? "Young Ms. Ishida has given me sufficient evidence to clear your club of liability for Friday's fight as well as several other incidents with Ms. Kisaragi. But, should there be any more incidents I'm afraid we'll have no choice but to return to the original alternative. We'll be keeping an eye on you all."
Monika practically beamed at the principal while Natsuki managed a tired look of relief. The club was safe, for now, but his choice of words made it quite clear to Monika that the literature club wasn't out of the danger zone quite yet. "Please, I ask that you kindly think on the opportunity you have been given here. We'll be keeping an eye on you, so I hope I don't have to tell you not to waste this. Now, off with you both to your club." With that, he gave both girls a final bow before excusing himself and strolling towards the faculty lounge. Monika and Natsuki glanced at each other, this time with significantly more hope as they stood from their chairs and eagerly began strolling towards the stairwell leading to the third floor. For a moment they were silent as their slippers slapped against the tiled floor, but the moment they were on the second floor, and in turn out of earshot, Natsuki turned to Monika as they walked.
"Oh my God, I'm still shaking dude, holy crap I actually thought we were screwed there." She whispered, unable to hide the classic Natsuki smirk that Monika was so used to seeing. "Forget getting into fights, that was a whole different rush altogether and I'm not sure I liked it. What the heck did she say to get us off the hook like that? Even more, why the heck did she do it? The last interaction I had with her was busting her nose up good, so unless you've secretly been buying her off recently…" But Monika wasn't entirely paying attention. She slowed her ascent and gazed off down the hall that Himari had turned down and frowned. She had ignored Himari since the festival, and had only spoken to her in brief intervals when the class demanded they interact. Kanako had mentioned something about someone in their club persuading them not to go through with their plan while she and Sayori were in the bathroom, someone that was almost certainly Himari. But how had she known to show up right then, when their clubs were in danger?
More importantly, just what exactly did she do? Monika silently wondered as she caught back up to Natsuki.
"I'm not sure, if I'm being honest. I was just as surprised as you were." She said, her mind running rampant with similar questions that had no answer. "But honestly? That can wait, for now we're in the clear and clubs are about to start in a few minutes. So to catch you up on a few things, um, we've not really done much since you've been gone except for a bit of poetry, but I'm thinking of starting us up on some booktalks now that you're back. Also there's the issue of Ms. Kusu- Natsuki?" Monika stopped when she realized her clubmate was no longer beside her, and turned around to see that she had stopped several steps prior and was staring at the stairs with her fists clenched tight. Monika gingerly descended down the stairs until she was level with Natsuki and asked, "Hey, you okay?"
Natsuki didn't respond at first, but Monika could see the girl swallow restlessly as she tried to get her words straight. Finally she said, "I can't do it. Monika I- I can't do this, just show up out of the blue. I… I beat the shit out of you and you're not even upset about it, which is really bonkers if I'm being real with you. But how the hell do you expect me to look at Sayori and Yuri and say, 'Oh hey guys! Sorry for beating Monika up and dragging you all into my issues because I'm a feral goblin who doesn't know how to act mature.' Like, what do I even… this isn't a good idea." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as she stomped a step in frustration. "This is why I don't know how to apologize."
Monika sighed quietly; it was a reasonable fear after all. It had taken her nearly a month to learn how to begin to apologize for her own mistakes, and there was still plenty she hadn't apologized for, so she had a decent picture of what Natsuki was going through. She almost placed a hand on her friend's shoulder but she thought better of it, and instead held out a small fist towards her. "Hey, nobody said it was going to be sunshine and rainbows. Yeah, you messed up pretty bad. You said some things, you did some things, but you're trying to better yourself now, which is what's important to me. It doesn't erase what you did, and the scars you left aren't going away anytime soon, physically or emotionally. Just, go in and try to admit what you did wrong. Maybe they won't forgive you immediately, or maybe… maybe they won't at all. And if they don't, it's important to remember what you did, so you can hold yourself to the mark." She let out another breath and gave Natsuki a smile before nodding her head towards the stairs.
"Why aren't you mad at me?"
Monika's smile disappeared, and for a moment she was somewhere else. Somewhere far away, moving files into a recycle bin because it was her choice to do so, not some script telling her to sit back and take it. "I'm not going to pretend that what you did, all of it, didn't hurt. Because it did Nat, in a couple different ways. But I forgave you not because I pitied you, or because I just wanted to ignore what happened. But because…" Deep breaths Monika. "Because I know what it's like to have no control over your life. To be pushed into a corner like a feral animal, and so like any other cornered animal you lash out to try and show you're in control and not someone's puppet or toy. I know how it feels to choose between friends and yourself. That's why."
Natsuki said nothing, she just gave Monika that concerned look on her face that she had worn before, and slowly nodded her head. Putting on another smile, Monika led the two of them up to where the literature club sat bare. They were a good five minutes early, and warm October sunlight shone in through the windows of the club whilst blocking the chilly air. A thought crossed her mind as Natsuki set her books down and gingerly made her way over to the window, and so Monika slid her phone out of her blazer and pulled out the calendar. October 31st, Monday. It had already been over a month since she had arrived in this world. So much had happened, it felt more like several months as opposed to one to Monika, but the passing of time was something else she had spent so long without, so it didn't surprise her.
It also happened to be Halloween. She had nearly forgotten with how busy she had been between tutoring, schoolwork, and keeping up with the others in the club, but sure enough the day of All Hallows Eve was upon them. She wondered if she had ever celebrated Halloween before the game, but like so many other memories they had faded to smoke and fog. She imagined a ten-year-old Sayori jogging down the sidewalk, eagerly approaching the next house on the block while dressed up in some silly costume; knowing her, she had probably just used a onesie. A young, timid Yuri shaking with trepidation in her witch costume as she reached towards a doorbell with an outstretched finger. An impatient Natsuki running across the road to reach the next house, the frills of the skirt from her magical girl costume bouncing with each step. For some reason, the image of them all as beaming children made her eyes water, but she wasn't sure why.
"NATSUKI, HOLY SHI-OOT!" Monika had been too lost in thought to notice the door sliding open, but not nearly enough to miss the near curse slip up Sayori yelled as she barrelled between the desks as fast as her crutches would allow. Monika raised an eyebrow; she had never heard Sayori so much as mutter something close to a curse word, but as she watched Natsuki fearfully brace for impact she realized that it had been almost a month since the two had seen each other. She'd probably say the same if she had been in their shoes. She grimaced as Sayori swiveled on one crutch, her other arm wrapped tightly around Natsuki who was forcing a smile as she gently patted Sayori's back. After a moment though, Natsuki's smile dissipated and her eyes shut tight as she gently leaned into Sayori's shoulder. Monika decided to give the two friends their privacy and turned away to look at her phone again, but she couldn't block out their voices.
"… missed you, you darn goober." Sayori mumbled. Natsuki replied something unintelligible followed by the sound of them breaking apart. "Oops, ehehe. Sorry. My leg may be all busted up but I'm still one tough cookie when it comes to hugs!" Monika casually browsed through her gallery. She hadn't used her phone's camera in forever, and the only things that were in her gallery were memes that Sayori had sent her and old photos from before the game.
She sure is happy to see Natsuki. Happier than she was to see you, even called her 'goober' and everything. Monika shook her head, she wasn't going to let that voice get to her right now, when her club was almost complete again.
"Yeah, I uh… I did a lot of stuff. Dumb stuff." Natsuki whispered. "And uh, judging from your leg I guess you did too, huh? O-oh, shit that sounded bad. I didn't mean- hey, you know let's just forget I said that. How are you, Riri? What about your folks? Does your dad still make that gross lemon pie every Saturday night?" Monika winced; Natsuki was almost as bad at apologizing as she was. She briefly considered whether she should have warned Natsuki about Sayori's living condition, but she decided it was for the best that Sayori told her on her own terms. Even if it did lead to some awkward conversations. As Sayori reminisced about lemon pies that had gone bad, Monika scrolled through some of the older pictures on her phone. Two in particular caught her eye, one of the four of them all smiling up at the camera and another taken moments later with them all making a silly face. That had been such a good day, it was one of the few memories that was still relatively clear to her, the last clear memory before her epiphany.
There was only one person in the picture that was missing, one person to complete their club again. Their awkward, unstable, dysfunctional club that she loved so dearly. Just as she tucked her phone away she looked up to see none other than Yuri stepping through the still open door, taking a pencil out of her pencil-bag. Monika beamed, nodding her head towards Natsuki who was still awkwardly catching up with Sayori. Both Natsuki and Sayori seemed to take notice of Yuri as well, and Sayori quickly hobbled out of the way with a goofy smirk on her face. Yuri seemed stunned, frozen in place as her mouth gaped open slightly and her eyes blinked as if she didn't dare to believe it. Natsuki gave a sort of shrug, as if admitting it was an awkward way to meet again and said, "Yo." with a weak grin to accompany it.
Yuri took a tentative step forward, and then another.. "You… you're…" One hand reached up, and before anyone could react Yuri's arm lunged forward as she flung her pencil directly at Natsuki, bouncing it off of her shoulder. "You utter hellcat, Kisaragi Natsuki! How dare you?!" Natsuki recoiled as another pencil was lobbed at her, only to scramble frantically over a desk as Yuri swung her pencil case at her arm.
"Ow, ow! Yuri stop, what are you- ow!" Natsuki shielded herself with her arms as she took another hit from the pencil case, but if Yuri heard her pleas she paid them no mind.
"How dare you?!" Yuri shrieked as she swung the case again. "I ran after you! Begging, crying and looking like a complete fool in front of everyone! I begged for you to come back and listen to reason, to stop and realize that maybe, just maybe, you spoke in the heat of the moment. And the only response you had to give me was a middle finger?! And now-" She paused, and only then could Monika see that her entire body was shaking. Her hair had lost its sleek form and now had loose strands dangling over her eyes. "Now, you stroll back into our clubroom, and you greet me with a 'Yo'?!"
Sayori had slowly backed away from the ensuing chaos until she stood beside Monika, and the two swapped dumbfounded looks. Monika motioned towards the two, as if to ask if Sayori was going to work her usual peacekeeping magic on them, but not even Sayori looked comfortable getting in the middle of this one. Natsuki ducked as the pencil case soared over her head and tried to speak, but nothing beyond babbled beginnings of sentences came out. Sayori watched in dismay, and seeing that nobody else would be able to step in, Monika raised her voice for everyone to hear.
"That's enough. Yuri, she just tried to save the club from getting axed, maybe we could just-"
"I don't care!" Yuri bellowed, her cheeks flushed with frustration and her eyes boring into Natsuki's. "She insulted us, she left us, she didn't even bother writing a 'Get Well Soon!' card when you two almost died! Because it would seem all dear Natsuki cares about, is Natsuki! You should know Monika, tell Sayori all about how Natsuki sold you out just to try and save her own skin, by beating you into the mud for those awful girls' amusement!" Monika felt a rush of affection for Yuri, hearing the hurt in her voice stemming from what had transpired Friday spoke volumes of how much she and Yuri had grown as friends. Sayori however flinched at her words, slowly turning between Monika and Natsuki as the room went deathly quiet. Monika didn't quite understand why Sayori seemed so surprised by this, it wasn't exactly a revelation. But the more she thought about it she realized she had never openly discussed what had happened between her and Natsuki with Sayori, and from the fact that Yuri had dropped the accusation with such malicious intent it seemed a fair assessment that she hadn't either.
Surely they must've talked about it in the car when they grabbed me? Did she just assume it was the girls who beat us up? She didn't remember the ride back home, but she had assumed from how Sayori and Yuri described it that she and Natsuki had been picked up, and then Natsuki had been dropped off at her house. But then, Sayori had never mentioned Natsuki when they talked in the shower. Yuri had been cut off before Monika could ask, which left Monika to wonder. Had Yuri actually left Natsuki behind in the forest? It would explain why Sayori had been so excited to see her, since this would have been their first meeting since the festival, and in turn her fall.
When Monika didn't respond to Sayori's glance, she turned to a still heaving Natsuki and softly asked, "Natsuki, you didn't actually… hurt Monika, did you?"
"No!" Natsuki replied, her words becoming jumbled and rapid. "I mean- I had to do something, they were going to gang up on us both. But I didn't- I didn't mean to-" Before she could finish Yuri stormed up to her, and what at first Monika had thought was defiant resolution from Natsuki quickly revealed itself to be sheer terror as she stood rooted in place, hands shakily blocking her face. Yuri's hand reached out as if to grab Natsuki's collar, but it stopped short and slowly fell back to her side. After a few tense moments Natsuki lowered her guard and the two locked eyes.
Yuri's breathing had slowed, but Monika could tell by the way her jaw was clenched that she was far from being calmed. "You can't even admit that you did it. I once told you that if anyone were to lay harm to you, that I would rain hell upon them. I meant that, Natsuki. But now," Yuri scowled and turned her head, pushing past Natsuki and towards the open door. "You're just not worth the effort." Without another word, there was a sweep of violet as it rounded the door, and Yuri was gone. Monika stared at the sliding door, mouth agape and her hopes of a happy reunion all but broken as the quiet sniffles of Natsuki began to fill the silence that hung in the aftermath. Everything had gone wrong, just as it always did, and she had done nothing to help but to stand in shock. Just as she always did. Sayori gripped her crutches and hopped between the desks until she was beside Natsuki's crying form with Monika trailing just behind her. They helped Natsuki up into a desk while Sayori wrapped an arm around her friend and began whispering soothing noises in an attempt to calm her misery.
Sayori looked up at Monika with grim determination and mouthed the words "Go get her" while nodding towards the door. Monika nodded, putting her trust in her vice president to handle the situation with Natsuki. The two probably had a lot to talk about regardless, and as things were, Monika had a better chance at dealing with an upset Yuri than Sayori did. Stepping out into the hall, Monika swept the corridors for any sign of her missing clubmate, but even with the halls being empty from everyone being in their clubs, there was simply no sign of her. She checked the connecting hallway, the water fountain, and even took a peek over the stairwell, but each time she was met with vacant halls. Silence. Had she left the school to go home? Monika pulled out her phone and began flipping through her few contacts for Yuri's number as she walked back towards the clubroom, only to stop outside the third floor bathroom. It was the same one she had comforted Sayori in, and Monika had an unpleasant feeling in her gut that told her she was about to have a similar experience.
Why was she not allowed to have one day of peace? One day of bliss between her and her friends, where they were allowed to just be normal teenagers planning trips to the mall or complaining about their school work. There was always an argument, always a problem, or a tragedy that had to befall them. It was bad enough that their club had been a mere hair from death, but the addition of Yuri's outrage at Natsuki (One that Monika admitted was somewhat earned) just seemed to ruin what should have been a day of rejoice and celebration. A little voice in the back of her head slyly warned her it had always been like this, and that always would be. She told it to shut up. The bathroom was just as still as the halls, but Monika didn't let that fool her. She quietly crept deeper into the bathroom until she saw the closed stall at the far end. She didn't hear any audible crying like she had with Sayori, and considered the possibility that the student inside might be someone else entirely until she heard it: a strained hiss followed by a faltered breath, barely audible above the buzz of an air-conditioning unit.
Monika felt her shoulders sag. It didn't take a detective to figure out what was going on here, she had always figured that this Yuri had a self harm problem as well, but she had never been given any concrete proof to be able to justify her suspicions. It wasn't as if she could have just approached Yuri and confronted her about it, and that was without the subject being sensitive already. This was something that required tact and special care, two things that Monika was less than confident in when it came to herself. But she had to at least try, she owed Yuri that much. The real question was how to approach the situation.
Knowing every second she stood there thinking was a second more for Yuri to harm herself, she made sure to step with her heel first, letting her foot roll silently over the bathroom tiles as she slipped across the floor. She silently pushed herself up onto the counter next to the sink, letting her legs dangle over the edge as another whisper of breath came from the stall. It was now or never, she had to remain level-headed and try to get Yuri to disengage her unhealthy habit, at least momentarily. But first, she had to speak.
"Hey, Yuri." Monika said. It was surprisingly hard to get out, perhaps because of the small chance she was wrong and had instead addressed a random student with stomach cramps. She wasn't sure how she would recover from that level of embarrassment, but thankfully her fears were abated when she heard a panicked breath that was quickly silenced, followed by a quivering voice from inside the stall.
"M-Monika, I didn't hear- I uh, I simply need a moment." Yuri called. "I… apologize for my outburst, but if you don't mind I'd like a few moments to try and calm myself down. Perhaps splash some water on my face, you understand-"
"Put the knife down, Yuri." Monika said as she leaned her back against the mirror. Silence. Gone was the plan of tactical wordplay and planning. She wasn't sure what made her say it so bluntly, but she felt tired. Exhausted from having to watch her friends suffer and try to intervene from a distance. She just wanted it to stop, the pain, the heartache, she was just so tired of it. She had tried to stop Sayori from jumping from the bridge, and had failed. She had tried to stop Natsuki from getting assaulted, and she had failed. Her failures would stop here.
Yuri's voice was little more than a whisper when she finally spoke. "I-I don't… why would I have a k-knife, Monika? I-I-" But Monika had had enough. Remembering the game was a curse, it was a nightmare that she never woke up from seeing the faces of her friends dead by her hands, but what if she used her memories for good? What if instead of being haunted by her memories, she used them as a tool to do better?
"I know you have one, and I know what you're doing." Monika said, her voice firm but not unkind. "I'm not going to threaten you with getting the staff, or anything like that. I'm going to ask you to put it down, and come out here so we can wash your arms off." She had no idea what she was doing, she was saying the first thing to come to her mind in the vain hope that it would work. You're not a counselor, or a therapist. You're not going to magically make her stop cutting, this is a longstanding problem that will likely take months or longer to fix. Just do what you can right now. "Just please, put the knife down, or away, or wherever. Come out here, let me help clean your arms off. If you want to talk, we can talk. If not, we can talk about something else." The bathroom stall was quiet for a moment, before a deep sigh echoed from the inside.
"And if I don't?"
"Then I suppose I'll just have to sit here and wait until you're done so we can clean your arms, but I get the feeling this isn't something you like to do with other people around."
Another moment of silence, and then the clicking of a lock could be heard. Yuri had sounded as tired as Monika felt, but when she stepped out with rolled up sleeves the only thing that Monika could find written on her face was shame. Without a word she stepped over to the sink beside Monika, who had scooted over and readied the tap with running water upon seeing the stall open. Monika counted four fresh cuts along Yuri's arms with blood slowly dribbling and a plethora of scars running up and down her forearms, but the sight didn't make her sick or horrified. Perhaps it was because she had seen this before in far more gruesome conditions, but the sight just made her sad, even remorseful. Yuri's cutting was not something that had been directly caused by Monika, much like Sayori's depression, but she still felt responsible for her club members' safety no matter the cause.
A sudden pressure in Monika's chest nearly made her sick, and she clenched her eyes shut. She knew what was happening, she could tell by the nauseating feeling in her chest and by how fast her heart was racing that she was in the midst of breaking down again. Seeing Yuri's bloodied arms had been an all-too familiar scene, and it was taking its toll. Twice in one day? Really? Get a grip on yourself, Monika. If you could stomach it once you can do it again, just push it back down. She could sense the smell of decay like a dog smelling rain, but she would not let it consume her. When she was alone, when she could deal with it instead of roping any of the others into it, then she would break down. Right now, it was not about her. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. No body, no death, just an ordinary school bathroom.
Monika glanced up at Yuri and cautiously asked, "The knife?" to which Yuri gently patted the pocket of her blazer. With the size of their pockets, Monika figured the blade must've been no bigger than a switchblade, and decided to begin aiding with the cleaning process. She moved to grab a paper towel, but then she considered the possibilities of the material flaking off and getting stuck in the wound and decided against it. Would toilet paper work? She would need to wash her hands before touching Yuri, but would she even be comfortable with letting Monika do that? Monika screwed up her face and shuffled uncomfortably; she really wanted to help, but she was very much out of her depth. Reluctantly, she took a wet paper towel and folded it over before wetting it under the sink, but when she raised it towards Yuri the girl took a hesitant step back.
"Um, I… I understand what you are going for, Monika, but I think it would be best if I did this m-myself." Yuri mumbled, taking a box of sterile gauze pads out from her other pocket. "This is… not my first time, as you can no doubt tell. I am well versed in the cleanup and aftercare, so if you don't mind just… waiting outside. Please." Yuri's voice was firm despite its shakiness, but Monika didn't waver. She hadn't fought back a breakdown just to sit outside like a child being told off by their mother after all.
"Yuri, I'd really like to stay to make sure you-"
"No, Monika." The icy tone that she had used on Natsuki crept through her voice again, and Monika reluctantly gave in. With a placating hand wave, Monika backed out of the bathroom and waited with her back to the wall, taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes. Some president she was; not only had she failed to intervene when her clubmates were arguing, but she had failed in assisting Yuri, instead she had been sent out with her tail between her legs with hardly a word of rebuttal against it. Monday clearly did not want to let her go without a fight, and she could feel her exhaustion creeping in as she started to let her thoughts wander while she waited. A sudden buzzing in her pocket startled her out of her stupor and she pulled out her phone to see a text from Sayori.
M. Sayori: hey, can Natsuki hang out with us for halloween? also any luck on your end?
Monika thought about it for a moment, and figuring Sayori was trying to help cheer Natsuki up decided there was no harm in it. It would be a good chance to help integrate her back among them all again, since something told her today's club session probably wasn't going to be a particularly long one.
You: Sure. We'll probably have to stop on our way home and get some stuff for costumes though. Still trying to see where this is going, haven't had a chance to talk to Yuri yet. Be back soon!
Monika smiled and stuffed her phone back in her pocket. Hanging out on Halloween was such a mundane normal thing to do, but it excited her to the point of making her skin tingle. Was it the prospect of being a normal teenager that excited her, or was it the chance of getting to be one with Sayori? She knew she wasn't supposed to give into such frivolities, that her feelings for Sayori were both likely unwarranted and unwanted, but she couldn't help but think about spending time with her best friend. It helped make her smile, if only slightly, after such a tiring day.
The sound of slippers against tile caught Monika's attention, and she turned to see Yuri walking out of the bathroom beside her, her sleeves once again rolled down. Their eyes met for an instant before both quickly turned to the floor, and without a word the both of them began walking down the hallway. Monika wasn't quite sure what to say or where to begin, and so the two walked in uncomfortable silence until she finally found the words she was looking for.
"So," She began, "Would you um, like to talk about it? I know this has probably been pretty unorthodox as far as interactions go between us, so if you'd rather not, I understand." Why did she have to sound so awkward and forced? Yuri shook her head however, her eyes still glued to the floor as they made their way back to the classroom.
"I'd rather not. Please, don't take this the wrong way Monika, while I know your heart is in the right place, I simply am not ready to confide in the how or the why." Yuri said, her tone now much calmer than it had been before. "I will say that it was because of my own actions however in the clubroom, and not Natsuki's. I was simply… overwhelmed." Monika nodded. It had been roughly the answer she was expecting. "But, I must ask… how on earth did you know? I have done my utmost to keep this shameful display a secret. Yet, you knew not only about what I was doing, but to know I used a knife instead of something more discreet such as a razor." Monika felt Yuri's eyes glance up from the floor to look at her, the discreet but powerful feeling of her eyes piercing Monika's skin sending a shiver through her in a way that was unlike Sayori's. Suspicion.
She knew she would have to explain herself eventually, she had just hoped it wouldn't be so soon. She quickly scoured her head for an explanation, and in a rush of desperation she tugged down on her collar, revealing the scars on her neck more clearly. "Call it a hunch." She said, and when Yuri turned to her she gave Monika a sad but understanding smile.
"Ah, yes, I thought those might be self-inflicted. Based on the angle and the freshness of them. I thought perhaps you might have a cat, but well, you don't have those anywhere else." Monika nodded, remembering when Yuri had glossed over them during her post-fight examination on Yuri's divan. Yuri's voice lowered to a more remorseful tone as she said, "I was curious, and yet I know the fear of being cornered for one's vulnerabilities all too well. Perhaps a better friend would have intervened, or said something but… well, as we have seen from the way I greeted Natsuki, I am not the role model of a good friend." She sighed and buried her head in her hand, and Monika stopped to turn to her.
When Yuri looked back up, Monika was surprised by the familiarity in her face. The worried creases beneath the eyes, the unfocused gaze that she held, it was clear there was much going on behind the scenes in Yuri's head. "Did you see the way she froze up, when I yelled? Did you notice the droplets of fear in her eyes when I approached her? I did. I haven't the faintest idea what goes on for someone as belligerent and-and… pugnacious, for lack of a better word, as her to become frightened by signs of aggression. And yet…" Her eyes shut and Monika could hear the sound of her teeth grinding together. "I cannot lie and say if given the opportunity I would not spew worse at her."
"You left her in the woods, didn't you?" Monika asked. Yuri grimaced, it clearly wasn't a fond memory for her, but she nodded all the same.
"Yes, I… perhaps, that is something I would change if given the chance" Yuri admitted. "I- Monika, you were unconscious and I listened to her deal blow after blow into you. Were she not half-starved herself I suspect she could have done some lasting damage. I didn't want her to meet a similar fate, but when I saw your eyes fluttering hazily and the sheer amount of blood pouring from your hand… I told her she would be wise to start running home before the other girls caught up with her. I told Sayori that she had gotten away, and I felt awful for it, I truly do still. But…" Yuri sighed again and shook her head. Monika gently reached over and gave Yuri's hand a gentle squeeze, stepping closer to her to show that she was there for her if needed. She didn't need to say that she would listen if she wanted to vent, or that she would give advice if needed, it was all conveyed in a single hand squeeze that simply said, "I'm here."
For a moment they stood there in silence, and finally Yuri took a deep breath and glanced back at Monika who smiled at her. "Thank you. I do not hate Natsuki per se, but the things she said and did cannot be forgiven overnight. In time, perhaps but… not so soon. I truly do apologize for my outburst Monika, and I think… I think I'm ready to go back to the classroom now. Um, I'm sure this goes without saying, but I would like to keep what you saw in the bathroom between us. I-If that's okay with you." Monika nodded, and nodded towards the clubroom just ahead of them. She had already decided to cut today's session short, but an idea struck her so suddenly that she paused just as soon as they started walking. It was a little crazy, but if it worked out she might just be able to get them all just a little more comfortable with each other again. So it was that as she grabbed the sliding door to the clubroom she looked over to Yuri, a confident smirk on her face as she decided to casually throw the question out there.
"Hey, what are you doing tonight for Halloween?"
Monika hummed softly as she shook the can of colored hair spray and sprayed another coat across Sayori's fringe. The only part of her hair that was still its natural shade of strawberry-blonde was the shaved bar above the back of Sayori's neck, as Monika hadn't wanted to risk any unnatural components or chemicals seeping into the skin or the stitches. The girl in front of her hardly resembled Sayori, with the pale blue hair and dual-tone navy and cream colored dress, Monika hardly recognized her. The bright twinkle in her eyes and the goofy smile gave it away in a heartbeat however, and Sayori looked up at her eagerly while awaiting to see the finished product.
"Keep those peepers closed, missy!" Monika told her. "I don't want this stuff to get in your eyes, they're blue enough as it is. Alright, show me the reference picture again?" Sayori let out a soft "Eek!" before shutting her eyes and feeling around the cot for her phone. Once she grabbed it and held it up, Monika took a look between Sayori and the character on the screen. It certainly wasn't going to win any cosplay contests, but Monika had to applaud her ability to improvise as far as costumes went. "Okay, I think you're good to go! Who's this character again anyway?"
"Um, Rei something." Sayori answered as she grabbed her crutches off of the cot. "It was from an anime Natsuki recommended to me a long time ago, and I don't remember much about it other than that there were these really tall robots and a penguin. It was adorable!" Monika chuckled, it was just like Sayori to like a show because she saw a cute mascot on it. The only reason Sayori had wanted to dress up as the character was because of a scene she had remembered where the character had a bandage wrapped around their head, much like she did. It was silly, but since it was what Sayori had wanted and the materials were within her budget, Monika obliged. The 3000 yen she had been tipped from her first customer had been split among three things: the first had been Sayori's birthday gift which had only cost her a paltry 500 yen, and currently sat in her pocket for when she planned to give it to her later that night. She felt bad for getting her best friend something so cheap, but she hoped it was the sentimentality of the gift that would shine through as opposed to the price.
The second was admittedly more necessary, having panic-bought several cups of instant ramen for both her and Sayori to eat on during the week until her real paycheck came in. They were the cheapest and least difficult in terms of preparation, and Monika had been able to buy enough for the both of them to last. The downside was her school bag crackled with shaking ramen wherever she walked, but it was a small price to pay for to finally have food of their own. The last of her tip money had gone into their costumes, and a quick trip to a thrift store in the city on their way home had provided them with all of the necessary materials. While Sayori had gone with her anime cosplay, Monika had originally not planned on a costume in an effort to conserve funds. Sayori had been insistent however, telling Monika that "it's not Halloween if you don't dress up!" and so after a bit of thought Monika had picked up a quick thing of face paint to put on.
After finishing Sayori's costume, Monika had quickly donned her face paint by drawing matching lines from the edges of her lips down to her chin followed by some sharp blush circles around her cheek, and looked into the hand mirror a fellow vagrant had been kind enough to lend to them. With the makeup and her hair slicked back, she had to admit she almost looked like a puppet if she squinted hard enough, but it would have to do for now. Monika quickly gathered her things and turned to Sayori, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Alright, all ready to go? Sayori looked up at her from her cot and flashed her a smile of confirmation that melted her heart; Sayori in costume was simply too cute to be legal.
Monika held the door open for Sayori as she hobbled out, and glanced out into the night. Her phone told her it was just past seven, and they had agreed to meet with Natsuki and Yuri at the edge of the park at half past, which gave them a little bit of time to walk and talk until then. The cool night air tickled Monika's skin as they followed the streetlamps down the sidewalk, and the sound of excited children passing them by with their parents and siblings was a pleasant mood lifter despite the day they had had.
"Ah gosh, this reminds me of when I was a kid!" Sayori squealed as a boy dressed in overalls walked past her. "I remember one year I got these chili habanero potato rings, and they almost made me puke! My dad was laughing himself silly and my mom was freaking out, thinking I was going to hurl all of my chocolate onto the carpet." She smiled warmly beside Monika and gave her friend a quick nudge. "What about you? Do you have any memories of Halloween, or any holidays with any of your foster families? Any good ones, that is?" She added the last part hurriedly, and Monika had to silently admire her friend's care with making an uncomfortable topic casual.
Monika shook her head. "No, I'm afraid not. Those memories aren't as clear, just a few still frames, like polaroids. But honestly? I'm hoping to make some new ones instead." When she turned to smile at Sayori, she found that her friend was instead looking further down the street where someone was standing on the corner making constant checks on their phone. Even in the dark, the vivid pink hair of Natsuki was evident from a distance along with the pastel skirt and frills that reflected the streetlight's glow. Sayori let out a gleeful gasp and hurried ahead, the sound of her crutches smacking against the pavement fading into the nightly noises of cars and passerby.
Monika shrugged and smiled, so long as Sayori was happy then so was she. Her hand slipped into her pocket where the small gift box lay hidden, and her smile grew just a little longer. She was going to make the night better, even if the day had somewhat crashed and burned, all it required was a clever bit of planning and a bit of luck. Sayori had already caught up with Natsuki and the two were eagerly chattering with one another, but Monika glanced further down and saw that just down the sidewalk on the other end of the street was a tall feminine figure in regal attire looking around anxiously for traffic. Monika took a deep breath, and clapped her hands together.
"Okay, everyone." She whispered. "Let's start from the top, and this time let's have a damn good time." And with that Monika strolled down the sidewalk towards her friends, fingers anxiously fiddling with the gift in her pocket as she began her plan to bring them all back together. And maybe, just maybe, if the stars aligned and there truly was a chance of a happy ending for Monika, to ask her vice president to go out with her as well.
A/N: This chapter is late by a good few hours thanks to some internet shenanigans and my crippling exhaustion, I apologize greatly if the chapter doesn't hit quite as strongly because of it and encourage you to let me know if it fell flat as a result. Thank you for understanding, and as always thank you all for reading.