After all this time, I was back at the HQ for work.
With my job designation changing to being Asuka's guardian nearly full-time, I wasn't required to be at the HQ when not necessary. However, with the progress the gang's been making with training, it had finally opened up more opportunities for me to be present in the facilities, which was something Dr. Akagi seemed dead set on taking advantage of.
"You don't need to just sit around while you're here." I remembered her saying, just a couple days back. "There's plenty of work to be done, so feel free to come find me to see how you can help out anytime."
"I thought you said my job was to look out for Asuka, not to be here doing work other people could handle?" It sounded pretty bad, the way I had worded it. I didn't mean to question her quite like that, but in any case, she just smiled and went to leave the room.
"The only reason I said that was because you looked like you had far more important things to sort at the time. I'm glad to see I made the right decision in not giving you an easy way out." As she left the observation room I was in, one overlooking the Eva pilots finishing up their routines, I stared at the door Dr. Akagi left through. She had read me like a book, eh? Not that I made it hard to do, at the time...
Today, I sat cross-legged on the cold, paneled floor of one of the Evangelion holding chambers, with a portable terminal resting on the floor in front of me. I sipped absent-mindedly on a coffee, waiting for a diagnostics software to finish bringing itself up to speed, so I could confirm the start-up systems were in working order for Unit-02. It had taken the most damage of the three units during the last battle, and while the outer shell had been repaired, I was tasked with checking to make sure all the internals were green.
Such an empty room; just me, and Asuka's red behemoth, relaxing in its bath of LCL. ...Empty? Chilling, more like. Even if it was just me and this thing, I knew deep down what the Evas were capable of. Unit-01 made that clear to me, many months ago. I had found an inordinate amount of inspiration in watching it during that first fight, yet right this moment, thinking back on it, after everything else I've seen and thought about? I couldn't help feeling unnerved just being in their presence. I glared at it a little from across the amber lake, swirling the last of my coffee around in the bottom of the cup.
What were you?
With a sharp ding, the terminal alerted me of its finished update, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin in the process. I pinched my glabella and sighed. Just what was I getting worked up over, anyway?
With the software doing its thing, I had a little time to kill, so naturally I decided to head up to the cafeteria and grab myself another coffee. It was steadily approaching the afternoon, and I was certain that if I continued waiting for process checking without another cup of joe, I'd be asleep within the hour.
As the boiling drink filled the cup, I wondered when Asuka would be getting here. Misato had mentioned to me that she would drive the trio here sometime before the sync test that had been planned for this evening. She said it was "her treat" given that I had driven them all home just a few nights before. I briefly segued into thinking about how she would probably end up getting me to pay for the gas...
"Ah, I was wondering when I'd see you again!" The cheerful voice of one Mr. Kaji flowed past my ears. I turned to meet his gaze as he strolled across the cafeteria; one hand waving at me, the other resting in his coat pocket. He was wearing a black NERV command uniform, with the collar open casually (as one would expect of him), starkly contrasting the professional way Commander Fuyutsuki wore his. Interestingly, whether because he was forced to, or because he felt he needed to look more presentable at his job, Kaji's iconic stubble had been recently shaved. He gave me a smile with this fresh face of his, grabbing a cup from the stack next to the machine. "Usually I like to grab a can of black coffee from the vending machine on the next floor, but I'm glad I made the choice for the real stuff now." He chuckled softly as I removed my own cup out from under the spout.
Something felt off about him, though. Almost like I couldn't shake his weird reactions from before; I could just be imagining this, but regardless, I felt strange around him right here, right now.
As his cup began to fill, he raised an eyebrow at me. A harmless gesture, expecting a response, even just a follow-up laugh. I didn't really know how to respond though.
"Something… wrong, Hatsuyuki?" He offered another smile, this time with his brow softened, in an act to diffuse my hesitation. "Don't tell me it's your first day back under Dr. Akagi and she already has you run out of steam? Or maybe…" His shoe clacked softly on the floor as he stepped closer to my ear, almost whispering.
"...maybe you're already missing all that alone time you had with... her?"
I stepped away suddenly, feeling my ears go hot. "Kaji, th-that's uncalled for!" His smile curled into a sly grin.
"Oh come now, I meant nothing by it! I was just seeing if that would get a reaction out of you." Removing his now filled cup from under the coffee machine, and giving it a quick sip, his expression fell. His gaze met my own straight on. "So what's on your mind, kid? You seem out of sorts."
Out of sorts was one way to put it. No matter how much I tried to separate the two events in my head, I couldn't stop myself from thinking Kaji may have had something to do with the power loss Tokyo-3 had incurred. Misato being that deep in the facility made sense, given her position, but as far as I knew, Kaji had no reason to be anywhere near there, or even be at the HQ at all that day. Perhaps he was just secretly tagging along with Misato, for fun or whatever reason, but…
"I'm sorry. Just a bit tired is all."
Kaji raised his eyebrow again. "So, Ritsu is working you hard, huh?" I grimaced.
"Not particularly." I didn't want to offend Kaji. This could all be just one big misunderstanding my brain is latching onto. I'm thinking too much. Why would Kaji ever do anything to risk people at NERV coming under harm? Misato, Ritsuko, Asuka, they could've all been injured, or worse. That was something I couldn't believe, that he would actively allow that. I let out a sigh. "I think I just woke up too early this morning."
"Ah, yeah. I've been there kid." He leaned against the countertop, taking another light sip of coffee. "Asuka's doing well, I assume?"
"We're getting along fine these days, so she's doing as well as she can be, I think. "
Kaji let out a chuckle. "That gives me a lot of relief, let me tell you." He smiled softly, as if embracing nostalgia for a moment. "She's a funny girl, ain't she? Wears her heart on her sleeve, but also bottles everything up. It really can be quite a challenge to get those two halves of her to bleed together."
He understood her well. I'm not surprised, at least. Not only was he her guardian for far longer than I was, but she was practically attached to him at the hip during our first meeting. Not to mention, Kaji is a clever guy. I feel like I can't escape his eyes sometimes. He unpeels me like an orange with ease, like it's second nature.
Almost makes me scared of him, yet his friendliness, his attitude, his… aura. They all disarm me. That's why I can't think of him as a traitor, or whatever he would be for making a move on Tokyo-3 like that.
It's impossible.
His gaze met mine again. With his brief remembrance coming to a close, he continued speaking. "Has she spoken about me since her little outburst?"
I gave a soft laugh. "She has. I think she's still sorting out some complicated feelings."
"I'm not surprised. It's a crapshoot whether she gets over something in 20 minutes or 20 years. I came up short this time, I suppose…" He pouted dramatically, shrugging, before laughing it off. "In time, she'll grow up. I can't be the one to look out for her, so..." Kaji's voice trailed off, and for just a moment, his face flashed an expression I couldn't read. "...so I'm glad you're able to. I just have too many of my own engagements to attend to these days, after all."
I gave him the most reassuring look I could give. "I'll continue to take care of her, and I'm sure she'll take care of me too. Leaning on each other for support is how this is all supposed to work, right?"
Kaji nodded softly, before he stood up straight and checked his watch quickly. Patting my shoulder as he passed, he left me with one final line.
"You don't quite have the whole picture yet, so just relax, kid. Enjoy yourself."
With that, he waved over his shoulder back at me, his shoes clacking all the way out of the cafeteria.
I couldn't immediately tell if his words gave me relief, or if they just made me more tense. What did he mean by that? I stood in the open, empty room for a moment, my mind briefly racing through thoughts of his words. Over and over. What was the picture? From the way he spoke, it was something I shouldn't have to worry about, yet, maybe that was the point. Did he want me to think about what he meant more than he wanted me to actually relax? Was that a trap? Am I making a mistake in trusting him? That can't be, Kaji's not a bad guy. He's not. He's not.
...I'm thinking too much. I'll just end up making myself sick again.
Dr. Akagi gave a soft grin towards the readings on the monitor. "These are really incredible. Shinji has come so far in such a short time, this is very impressive!"
Misato and myself stood just back from the observation window, looking down upon the testing site. Three entry plugs, specially made for reading harmonics output, and the LCL lake they were submerged into, so thick with the liquid it appeared almost like a lake of blood instead. Inside these entry plugs were the children, meditating, pushing the limits of their bodies within. The higher the output, the better the synchronized connection they would have to their Evas.
Under the regular circumstances, Rei's tests proved her to be the most well rounded. Her score was never the highest, but it rarely fluctuated as well. Shinji's was consistently the lowest for the longest time, but as the battles progressed, it improved drastically. He now consistently matches with Rei at his highest. Today seemed to be a special occasion, however, as Shinji's score had once again risen, nearly matching Asuka's, albeit at a lower, more dangerous depth rate.
Asuka, of course, would never allow herself to get anything less than the highest scores. It fluctuated quite a bit, but rarely hit below Rei's, and even more rarely stayed down there for long. Her highs were never reached by anyone else either, until now that is. She was, by all accounts, amazing.
...and right now, Shinji was trying to give her a run for her money.
I felt like I knew how she was going to react to that.
As the test was finishing up, Dr. Akagi continued her thoughts. "It's surprising, seeing where he started and where he is now. It takes an impressive amount of talent. Like he was born to pilot the Eva…"
"...but that isn't what he wants." Misato spoke, a somber look across her face as she stared at Shinji's test plug. "It doesn't take much to notice how unhappy he is." Dr. Akagi stared at her for a moment, briefly sharing a similar, gloomy look. Separating her impressions of the results from the reality of the situation must be difficult sometimes, with how deep she is in all this. Even I can't say I wasn't happy every time Asuka's results came out to be the best of the bunch. They're still children who have no choice but to fight.
They must really have it tough, with how close Misato is to Shinji, and with how he continues to push himself despite hating all of this. Watching him reach these scores, that should come to her as a bittersweet feeling. I didn't realize how much of a luxury it was that Asuka enjoyed what she was doing, though I suppose even that should feel bittersweet on its own, shouldn't it?
With that, Dr. Akagi spoke over the PA, alerting the pilots that the test had completed.
"That was very impressive work, everyone. Especially you, Shinji." Dr. Akagi relayed her feelings clearly as the teens entered the room. Shinji stopped for a moment and gave her a funny look.
"Huh? Why me?"
Asuka had grown a look of annoyance very quickly, approaching the monitor with all the results displayed. Should I comfort her? She probably doesn't want that. It'd be like salt on a wound.
"Well, simply put, your results today broke all of your previous records!" The blonde woman smiled sweetly, and Misato also gave a smile beside her, though it paled in comparison.
Shinji still looked a bit confused at this sudden development. "Huh, I… didn't realize I was doing anything different."
Before anyone else had a chance to speak, while still staring at the monitor, Asuka spoke loudly in a mocking tone. "Make sure not to let it go to your head, Third Child. You're still 50 points below mine, even with the extra depth."
Dr. Akagi turned towards Asuka. "Yes, but with the amount Shinji's gained since even his scores a week ago, it's hard to ignore such rapid growth." The redhead bit her lip in disgust.
"Oh, whatever. I don't think it's anything worth writing home about." She turned to glare at Shinji, a brazen smile peeking from the edges of her lips. "Enjoy your simple victory, idiot. You'll be lucky if I ever let you get another." Without even giving me a glance, she stormed out of the room.
The young boy grimaced as he left the room behind her, with Rei following wordlessly. I assume he figured he was in for another earful in the changing room. Nothing I could do to save him there.
As Dr. Akagi talked with the other operators present, I looked towards Misato, whose smile from a moment ago had faded back to her glum expression, like she was having a hard time thinking about something.
"Is everything alright, Misato?"
She looked up quickly, as if broken out of a stupor. "Oh, well…" Brushing her hair back with one hand, she gave me a bit of a weak smile. "I've just gotten caught up with thinking about things lately. I don't think I'm at my best today."
I scratched my chin. "Yeah, I'm in the same boat. A lot on my mind." Was Misato worried about Kaji too? I didn't want to say anything about that here… or at all really, but…
It was then I noticed something I hadn't before, now that her hair had been moved. The badge on the neck of Misato's coat had changed slightly. The addition of a new line meant she had gotten a promotion. Her eyes caught my expression changing. "It's exactly what you think." She said with a small giggle.
I immediately cleared my throat and stood up straighter. "Uh, congratulations on your promotion, Comman- uh, Major Katsuragi!" She motioned with her hand for me to take it easy. I relaxed my shoulders. "Sorry for not noticing before, I had no idea. No one mentioned it to me."
"Well, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. It's not like I'm working here for the purpose of rising up the ranks, you know?" She sighed. "No matter how much I requested it, some of Shinji's friends are making a fuss about it anyway. Those boys, Kensuke and Toji, they're putting together a little party for me for tomorrow night." Her face lit up a little. "You and Asuka should drop by. I was meaning to tell you, but I kinda didn't know how to start the conversation without making it awkward, bringing up my promotion and all."
"Well, if you don't think we'd be too much trouble, we'll happily accept the invitation." I said with a chuckle. She gave me a thumbs up.
We talked for a bit about some different things before Asuka came back into the room in a huff. She expected me to already be out waiting for her to leave, so we said some quick goodbyes, and off we went to the HQ's exit.
The streetlights flicked by rhythmically as we drove back into the main portion of the city. Asuka was leaned up against her door, her cheek squished into her palm, watching the lights go by. I yawned softly. It had been a long day, and it would be a while before I got back into the routine, so this tiredness was to be expected. There was no time for me to run out shopping now either, something I had planned to do after we left, but with the way I was feeling, I was almost glad the test went on a little long to give me an excuse. The plan now was to just pick up some food at a restaurant somewhere, and then head straight to bed.
Something I couldn't ignore, however, was the girl sitting next to me.
"So, Misato got a promotion." I started speaking. It was a bit awkward given the long silence that had pervaded the car since we left. Asuka didn't stir. "She's having a little get-together tomorrow evening, and gave us invites. If you're up for it, I mean."
"What, so I can just be uncomfortable for a couple hours with no reward. I'd rather vomit, thanks."
"I know you're annoyed at Shinji's score, but come on. This doesn't have to be related to that at all. We could have a good time."
She turned towards me violently. "How isn't it related!? I'd be going into HIS home! Why would I want to be there!?"
"Kensuke and Toji should be there too."
Her eyes slyed at me. "You're doing a terrible job convincing me, if that's what you're trying to do…" I just chuckled.
"You really gotta relax, Asuka. If Shinji scores highly, that just means he'll be stronger in battle, meaning…"
She looked at me for a second after my pause. "...meaning?"
"Meaning, he won't slow you down as often, or whatever problem you had with him before, right? It'll make your teamwork better."
Asuka scoffed, crossing her arms. "That's not the point. No matter how high his scores are, he's still an idiot. I'm shocked he knows how to tie his shoes." She bit her lip again, her voice then coming just above a whisper. "Besides, if his scores pass mine, what reason would anyone have to…"
"...Asuka?"
"Den mund halten, dummkopf."
"Huh?"
"I said, shut up! I'll go to the stupid party, but I'm taking Hikari with me! That's the only way, okay?" She was getting flustered now, in her usual Asuka way. It was kinda cute.
"I'll tell Misato that tomorrow then." There was silence for a little while before I spoke again. "...and just so you know, I don't mind what your scores are. As long as you give it your all, I have no reason not to be proud of you."
Her head tilted, like she was about to say something. No words came, though, and eventually, she went back to staring out the window. Her posture, now a little less deflated.
I was running late.
I stayed back at work an extra while to finish some maintenance I was helping with, and the party completely slipped my mind. I had to rush to the grocery store to pick up a few things, including a cheap bottle of wine as a gift, and then rushed again to get back to the apartment complex. I ran inside my apartment to quickly shove my groceries into the fridge, had the quickest shower of my life, and then bolted out the door again to go up a few stories to Misato's place.
Asuka had called my cell phone earlier to let me know she and Hikari would be heading over to Misato's as soon as school was out to help get things ready, so I didn't have to worry about her. The party had started as soon as Misato had gotten off work, I'm sure, so everyone's been settled away for well over an hour at this point.
As I stepped off the elevator, I saw two figures standing just outside the apartment door; one was smoking, and the other was standing to the side, talking with them about something. As I approached, they both turned to greet me.
It was Kaji and Dr. Akagi.
"Hey, kid. I figured you'd already be inside." Kaji smiled, and his eyes glanced over the wine bottle I held by the neck. "Looking to help restock her alcohol cupboard, eh? Not a bad idea." He chuckled heartily while Dr. Akagi just sighed.
I chuckled as well. "I had to finish up a bit of work, is all. Had to go pick this up too, which is why I'm a bit late."
"I'm sure Misato won't mind." Dr. Akagi reassured me, though with a shrug she continued. "Especially not, if you brought booze."
Kaji crudely crushed the edge of his smoke into the railing of the apartment building's balcony, before giving it a flick into the wind, letting the butt dance through the air. "Let's head in, shall we?"
I decided to not think about Kaji in a bad light this evening. I just wanted to enjoy myself, and I really wanted to stop overthinking his actions. He told me to relax, so I will.
We walked up to the door, and as I went to press the bell, Dr. Akagi just opened it and walked in, as did Kaji right behind her. I followed, of course.
The inside of the apartment smelled… surprisingly good. Like fried chicken or something. As we turned the corner into the den, the table in the middle of the room was filled with a number of cans (both soda and beer) and some mostly empty fast food boxes, which explained the smell. Sat on the floor around the table were the usual suspects. Shinji, Toji and Kensuke, all looking to be enjoying themselves, along with Hikari who was talking with Asuka, sitting next to her. Misato was leaning back against the sofa, a beer in her hand, wearing a tank top and shorts, looking very amused. It was a fun scene, and I felt a pang of regret not getting there sooner to enjoy it with everyone.
Asuka was the first to notice us enter, prompting her to stand up and run over. "Ugh, where were you!? I was worried you got hit by a bus or something!" She grabbed ahold of my hand roughly, dragging me over to the spot she had been sitting before I had a chance to catch my breath. I sat quickly, and Asuka handed me a glass of soda. "We've all already toasted, so here, you can too now. Hurry up!"
I turned to Misato and raised my glass, giving a sheepish grin. "Sorry I took so long, I figured it would be rude of me not to get a gift. Congratulations again." Producing the bottle of wine with my other hand, Misato gave a kind smile.
"Thanks, skippy." She then made a weird face and looked towards the other two adults who had entered, as they walked over to take places on the floor. "...but the three of you, coming here together? Should I be concerned?"
"It was just a coincidence, honest." Kaji said, stealing a beer from the pile and popping the tab smoothly. "Maybe the grown-ups will have our own party after the kiddies go to sleep, to make up for being so late."
"Or maybe, you can watch what you're drinking instead, since you have to drive yourself home." Misato grumbled happily, taking a sip of her own drink, as Kaji pouted.
Everyone continued to engage in conversation and merriment for the duration of the evening. A sweet little bout of relaxation for everyone involved. The stress of my thoughts melted away, and I was enjoying myself thoroughly, mostly just listening to the fun of others, although I noticed Asuka seemed a bit pensive. It wasn't long before I found out why.
Suddenly, amidst the bustle of the group, Asuka stood up and faced Misato, holding a glass and hitting it repeatedly with a spoon to get everyone to quiet down.
"Attention, everyone. I have a very important announcement to make towards our beloved Major!" She began, with her face suddenly holding a tinge of self-satisfaction for whatever it was she was about to announce. "I just wanted to say, on top of my congratulations for your promotion, I'd also like to finally add my acceptance of the relationship between Kaji and yourself! That is all!"
…huh?
The entire room stared at her with varying looks of bewilderment, myself included, with Misato's being the clearest cut: her face had practically turned into a beet. Asuka looked around at the occupants, her brow furrowing. "Well, what's the matter? You can all go back to having fun or whatever, I just had to get that off my chest!"
Silence persisted for a few more moments, before Kaji burst out laughing. He then raised his beer. "Well, I guess I'll just thank you for the well wishes, Asuka! I really don't know what else to say!" Asuka's face started to turn red as well, as the embarrassment started to set in.
Toji and Kensuke, on the other hand, looked positively dumbfounded. Toji finally broke the silence altogether, his feelings reaching a sudden boiling point, as he stood up and pointed his finger across the table at Asuka. "GAH! What gives you the right!? Nobody here cares! You upheaved this perfect party setting Kensuke and I crafted for Ms. Misato, just to give such a lowball of an announcement!?"
Asuka stood back up quickly. "Oh, shut up! What'd you think was gonna happen, Misato was gonna slip you a tongue-kiss for setting up a couple streamers and putting her beer on the coffee table!? I knew you two were stupid, but I didn't think it handicapped you that badly!"
The two angrily argued back and forth, with Kensuke and Hikari eventually getting involved. As Shinji, Kaji and Dr. Akagi started having their own talk completely removed from the rowdiness of the others, Misato quietly pushed a can into my view.
"Hey, have a drink with me? Nothing crazy, I know you don't go on this stuff, but…"
I picked up the beer and popped the tab. "Seeing as this is a special occasion, I'll oblige, Major." We clicked our cans together and took a drink. I disliked drinking, but once in a while it wasn't so bad. "Oh, and congratulations yet again, for your new, Asuka-sanctioned relationship!"
Nearly choking on the sip she took, Misato glared at me, before sighing. Seemingly, she resigned herself to accepting the hilarity of the situation, and gave an honest laugh, one I readily shared.
It was a funny little group, but an exciting one nonetheless. With Toji and Asuka's argument lasting until they both went out the door, the party's energy had returned, and I feel like everyone present enjoyed themselves as much as they could.
Author's Note : I don't really have much to add here, honestly. Just wanted to, as always, give thanks to everyone who has taken the time to give the fic a read or leave a review! It really means a lot!
As an aside, if anyone was curious, I do in fact have some headcanon voices for Matsuo. His seiyuu would be Suzumura Kenichi (who actually voiced the protagonist of the Windows/Dreamcast version of Ayanami Raising Project!), and his english voice always struck me as being Sean Chiplock. Maybe I've just played too much Trails of Cold Steel, but Rean's voice fits Matsuo in my head perfectly (when I'm not reading all his lines aloud myself). Just some trivia, I guess haha.
The next chapter shouldn't take too long to write, so hopefully I can have it out relatively soon! Uh... don't hold me too that, of course, but peace! Have yourselves a damn good one!