Chapter 22: Home Life
A chapter where a simple life is never allowed to be just that.
"Forty all!" The cry of the score urged Monika onward, despite the heavy amount of sweat beginning to build along her skin. The strain she felt in her legs was definitely new to her, and limbering up beforehand hadn't compensated nearly as much for her lack of physical activity for the better part of her existence. Still, she was determined to prove that she wasn't some lazy straggler who wasn't willing to earn her place after all. If nothing else, she wanted to show she could put in the effort.
Monika dashed to the right side of the makeshift court, giving her racket a quick swing that ended up clipping the ball and letting it loftily bounce out of the line. Monika sighed and let out a breath, grabbing the ball before it could roll too far and chucking it to her opponent on the other side of the net.
"Game point!"
This was it, time for a recovery. Monika readied herself, bending her knees and keeping a firm grip on her racket, but the ball was already headed in her direction. One bounce. She rushed forward and swung, relishing in the satisfying thwock of the ball as it soared over the net. One bounce. Thwock! Monika kept her eye on the ball, dashing like a mad woman to get within reach. Thwock! One bounce. This was torture on her quads, but dear god did she love the rush and focus that came from it. Thwock! One bounce. She ran, racket gripped tightly as she reared back and lined up her shot. Two bounces.
"Game set! Well done girls!" Monika looked up to the brightly lit fluorescent lamps shining overhead and let out a sigh that was one part disappointment, one part relief. She had been excited to try and prove her worth to her new clubmates, her damned inner perfectionist really couldn't give her a break – especially when it came to any kind of hobby or project. Though as she rubbed the more tender area of her thigh she had to admit that she had probably reached her limit two games prior, and anything further was likely to lead to a strain. The sound of shoes smacking against the gymnasium floor brought her to her senses, and she saw her opponent crossing over to her.
"You know, for someone who has never played tennis, you've definitely got some potential." The girl said, and Monika couldn't help but notice that there was a distinct lack of sweat on her new clubmate's brow. "I think if we worked on getting you out of the mindset of solely relying on a short backswing, we could probably make a decent player out of you, Monika."
Monika smirked. "Yeah, but you were going easy on me, weren't you, Yamazaki?" She walked with her clubmate over to the locker room where her belongings had been stored, handing off their rackets to the club's vice-president. Monika reached for a bottle of water that was tucked in her school bag and took several long swigs as soon as they reached the locker. Her opponent, Yamazaki, gave a sheepish grin as she leaned against her own.
"Ah, so you noticed? Well, I hope you don't take any offense to it. Everyone else has been in here since the festival or earlier, and frankly, I don't trust them not to try and show off by going all out on the new girl." Yamazaki shrugged and clicked her own locker open, pulling out her gym clothes. "I've been here since I transferred in my first year, so I like to think I have a bit more restraint. But like I said, you did good!"
Monika pulled her own clothes out, slipping her school uniform over the athletic wear she was in. "Well, it was a bit obvious since one of us is drenched." They shared a small laugh while Monika switched to her outside shoes and slipped her backpack on, only to feel a small vibration from with inside of it. She reached in and pulled out her phone, seeing a notification at the top that informed her of an awaiting text and gave it a tap with her thumb. Sayori's smiling face popped up on her screen.
Sunshine: Hey, mind coming straight home after you get off of clubs? I think there's something you need to see.
Monika frowned, barely typing out a response before a new message popped up in its place.
Sunshine: Nothing is wrong! I know you'll probably panic but don't. I'm having to use voice to text cause I'm in the shower so I can't send my emotes or hearts, and I have to speak real slow so it doesn't misunderstand me. Did you know you have to physically say! To get it to show up? Wait no you darn phone I don't want you to do it now I want the actual word! Exclamation. Point. I had to separate that with a. Just to get it oh my god it did it with those too? How do I backspace on this delete delete no stop I'll just type it my shelf oh it fell son of a gun
Monika couldn't hold back her laughter, much as she tried. Several of her new clubmates raised an eyebrow at her in curiosity, but she gave them a dismissive wave before throwing her backpack on and stepping out into the gym. She gave a wave to their referee, which was their club president, as well as her opponent Yamazaki who was only just leaving the lockers.
"Good form today, Monika."
"Yeah, let's work on your swing next session, sound good?"
"That's fine, see you later everyone! Thanks for a good session!" And with that Monika stepped out of the gym doors into the frigid winds of winter. The sweat that still clung to her body did an excellent job of cooling her, too good in fact, as the lower temperature chilled her to the bone almost immediately. She flapped the hem of her blazer to help circulate some of the air before quickly setting off down the street, but she didn't take the road to the right any more. Instead, Monika circled around and took the left road, clinging to the sidewalk before taking another left that stretched down into a much hillier, and much longer, road.
Living somewhat closer to the school but farther from the city had its perks, such as the walk being cut in half which allowed her a bit more time in the mornings and afternoons. The downside was that the road that turned behind the school was not nearly as flat as the one before, and therefore put far more strain on walking. Whereas she had usually been full of energy after a session at the Literature Club, being a part of the Tennis Club usually left her rather worn out and sluggish. She hoped of course that in time, as her athleticism increased, the wear on her body would decrease.
The Tennis Club had accepted Monika with open arms despite how late into the school year it was, something that she was grateful for since she hadn't been able to find any other clubs that interested her in the wake of the Literature Club's demise. While Yuri and Natsuki had ventured off to other clubs, Sayori had decided to simply go home after school rather than take up a new hobby. ("If I can't be with you all, and I can't do literature, I don't think there's a lot for me to choose, you know?") She would have been more than happy to try out a new hobby with one of her friends, but as the Principal had given explicit orders for none of them to share a club again, and rules were rules, most of their interactions over the past couple days had been brief at best.
I used to be so good at breaking and bending the rules to fit me, and now I'm the one following them. Monika gave a small chuckle, kicking a clump of dead leaves off of the sidewalk as she did so. She had been concerned at first, when the club had been disbanded, about what would happen to each of them in turn. Aside from her friends, the club had been the source of so many of her memories and past experiences, but what if it had been a prison for them too? Would her friends regain their memories without the club? Would they realize the limit of the world they lived in, like she had? This one held much more possibility than the game ever had of course, but the fear remained regardless.
Yet nothing had gone wrong as far as Monika could tell. None of her friends gave her weird glances or knowing glares, none of them became distant and withdrawn like she had when she had been given her cursed insight. Unless Sayori's message had been an indication of something? Monika scoffed at that however, knowing that even Sayori – especially Sayori, would have a harsher reaction to something so dark. Perhaps the death of the club had meant that there would never be a possibility of them understanding. Or maybe, and this was her personal hope, the club had only ever been just that: a club. Ms. Fujita had kept her after class the next day to make sure that Monika was okay, and she was quite surprised to find that she truly was doing just fine. Disappointed, but excited at the new possibilities that lay before her.
The only one Monika hadn't seen since the disbanding of the club was Kusumoto. Whether this was due to the fact that her job of snooping in her and her friends' business was complete, or simply because she wanted to avoid the confrontation, Monika didn't know. It was decidedly in the best as while Monika had come to accept the loss of her club, she still had several harsh words, veiled insults, and a plethora of rude gestures she had picked up from Natsuki that she planned to convey for the part Kusumoto had played.
If Kusumoto was the last person she wanted to see, Sayori was undoubtedly the first. She had missed their walks home dearly the past few days, and while the girls in the Tennis Club were nice, they couldn't compare to the bond she had with her former club members. Naturally that went double for her girlfriend. Her curiosity towards Sayori's question and growing desire to take a shower was such a tantalizing prospect that she found herself skipping along the sidewalk in an effort to get home just a little bit faster.
The cedars soon gave way to the houses on either side of the street, the glow of the convenience store sitting on the corner being the sign that she was finally home. She crossed to the other side of the street, passed by one of their new neighbors, and bounded up to the door that read '1-E' before taking her key out. Her key, for her apartment. She held back the grin that surfaced at the reminder that the apartment truly was hers, and slipped the key into the lock with a satisfying click.
"Sayori, I got your messages. You didn't fall out of the shower too, right?" She called as she stepped inside. Their living room still didn't have any furniture yet aside from the television, but their kitchen had quickly been stocked with food during their first night after a quick run to the convenience store across the way. It wasn't exactly healthy food, but there was something satisfying about eating microwavable oden or noodles together with the light of the television flickering off of their faces. Sayori stood in their tiny kitchen, the straw of a juicebox between her lips as she glanced up from where she had been playing music from her phone against the counter. She smiled, but didn't speak.
Monika raised an eyebrow at her curiously, recognizing that all-too familiar mischievous look Sayori had long since mastered. Her hair was still wet from her shower, and she had changed from her school uniform into a long-sleeved pink shirt Monika had seen her wear before, as well as a pair of baggy cow-print sweats that she had certainly not seen her wear before. When she still hadn't figured it out, Sayori rolled her eyes and stuck her hips out a bit further, and Monika's first assumption was one that made her stomach do cartwheels. That didn't seem to be it either, however.
"Monika so help me if you don't guess what's different, I'm going to use the last of my money to go buy us a couch so I can put you on it." She said, still keeping her playful smile. Monika dropped her schoolbag by the door and took another look; the black and gold hair bow that she had given Sayori was absent, but she chalked that up to the fact that her hair was still wet. Sayori huffed and began to walk over to her, and that was when Monika realized it. Sayori was walking. Her leg was free of a cast for the first time in months, and her crutches were entirely absent. Sayori grinned.
"Oh my God, Sayori!" Monika lunged forward and met her girlfriend halfway, sweeping her up in a hug as they both let loose gleeful laughter and exchanged a plethora of kisses. "Holy shit, you're walking! You're actually- when did you even get it taken off?!"
"About an hour ago, I went straight to the hospital after school. Didn't I tell you my leg would probably be healed up by December?" Sayori grinned and gently stepped away to showcase her leg, proudly doing a little twirl that ended up with her stumbling right back into Monika's arms. "Oomph, sorry! It uh, I still need to get used to walking on it. That's why I was in the shower, that thing stunk so bad, oh my God it was like really old eggs and farts- Oh! Actually no, it was more like when there's nasty liquids at the bottom of a garbage can, that's what it smelled like!"
Monika gagged and stuck her tongue out, pushing Sayori away. "For someone so proficient in wordplay and subtle description, you're really making me never want to kiss you again." At Sayori's imminent pout she pecked her girlfriend on the cheek and began digging through her bag for her extra set of clothes. "Speaking of gross things, I'm still sweaty from tennis and really need a shower before you go hugging on me. So if you don't mind, I'm going to go wash- Sayori, let go." But Sayori had wrapped her arms around Monika's neck loosely from behind, laying her head in the crook of Monika's shoulder and swaying back and forth slowly.
"Nooooo, I have a leg now. Let me hug you and kiss you since I can do it without having to balance on one foot." She groaned. Monika rolled her eyes and trudged over to the kitchen, reaching for the bathroom door through Sayori's weight.
"You can do all of that in a few minutes, I'm gross and nasty and cold."
"But letting me hug you will warm you up, and you don't even have to get wet for it!" Sayori pouted, but in the end she relinquished Monika from her grasp and allowed her to take a well deserved shower. It wasn't without its difficulties however, since the smell of stale and heavy air still lingered in the bathroom making it a little hard to breathe, as well as the fact that Monika had barely turned the water on before she heard somber music from just outside the door. She crossed her arms despite the fact Sayori couldn't see her, shaking her head back and forth as she realized how silly her girlfriend truly was.
Eager to leave the confines of the small and unpleasantly filtered room, Monika flew through her shower as fast as she could without sacrificing her hygiene and tried her best to drag a cheap brush the two had brought with them through her hair. Monika decided that making a list of all the things they would need was going to be important, since now they had a place to store all of their personal belongings, amenities and toiletries were almost certainly going to become a priority. She kept her orange ribbon around her wrist, letting her hair flow freely as she embraced the warmth of the blue sweater Sayori had originally given her before stepping out into the kitchen.
Sayori's phone sat on the little table pressed against the wall outside the bathroom door, sorrowful violins still emanating from it, and Monika glanced around curiously just in time to see her girlfriend's face mere inches from her own behind the corner.
"Boo!"
"Jesus- Sayori!" Monika gave her a gentle shove, but Sayori just giggled and wrapped arms around her again. Not that Monika minded, of course. "You sure are active today, did you miss me that much? Or is it the fact that I was around a bunch of girls in shorts playing tennis?" Sayori didn't say anything at that, and Monika barely had time to turn to look at her before she felt a pair of lips press against her own. Hard. "Sayori, what-" But Sayori didn't let her finish the question, turning Monika to face her and wrapping her hands through Monika's hair and gliding them along her back. There was an onslaught of kisses from Monika's lips to her cheeks, all the way down to her neck that sent a familiar tingle down her spine.
It was all very passionate, but very forced, Monika could tell. She didn't like it, and slowly brought her hands up to separate Sayori from her. Sayori looked disappointed, but more than that she looked ashamed, and Monika gave her a look of concern. "Sayori, why are you trying so hard?" She kept her voice low and soothing, trying to find her answer in those big blue eyes she loved getting lost in. Sayori frowned and slumped backwards, sighing and shaking her head as she stepped away.
"Ugh, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I just- I don't think- why is this so hard?" Sayori sighed and shook her head as if to shake away her uncertainty and physically clear her mind. Monika sat down in one of the two kitchen chairs and crossed her fingers to show that she was listening while Sayori tried to gather her thoughts. "I uh… I thought if I was like, really good at kissing you and making you feel good that I… this is really dumb, I just… don't want you to like your new clubmates more than uh… more than me." She winced as if expecting some kind of backlash, but Monika just leaned forward to cup their hands together.
"Sayori," She began softly, "You don't think I'm going to fall for a girl I barely know just because I share a club with them, right?" She frowned as her mind clicked two thoughts together. "Oh Sunflower, did my joke about suggesting you were jealous hurt your feelings? I was just teasing Say, I hope you know I would never-" But Sayori shook her hand and gave Monika's hand a warm squeeze.
"No no, it's not like that. I know it's stupid. I mean first off I wouldn't blame you because I'd have trouble not glancing around even if I didn't like girls too, because 'Hello!', a whole room full of cute girls!" She chuckled, but the mirth quickly left it and her eyes glanced up to meet Monika's before going back down to the floor. "I just… I guess I worry that you'll be around girls who are like, a lot better than me. Smart, athletic, no mental disorders, no amnesia, no problems. That dream you had, at Yuri's house that one day? I have those same kinds of thoughts a lot, not that I think you would ever cheat or leave me suddenly! I… I don't feel good enough to be taking up so much of your time, that's all."
Monika gave her a small but sad smile, and rubbed Sayori's hand with her thumb. When Sayori returned it, Monika gently pulled Sayori into her arms and on her lap, running her hands through the still damp clumps of strawberry blonde hair and gently scratching her girlfriend's scalp. Sayori hummed in contentment, her arms around Monika's neck as she leaned into her shoulder and closed her eyes for a brief moment. Monika smiled, and planted a small kiss on her forehead.
"I don't mind if you're affectionate, I really like being with someone who enjoys physical touch just as much as I do. But I don't want you to force yourself." Sayori's eyes opened up slowly, and Monika peered down into them like a sailor would the sea over a ship's railing. "I could meet the smartest, curviest, most prettiest girl out on the street right now, and if they somehow grabbed my attention they sure wouldn't keep it. I don't need a straight-A student or someone popular, I need someone who understands, someone who cares. We both know nobody can do that better than you." Sayori blinked at her as she spoke, but still looked unsure.
"But I'm-"
"Broken, right? Insecure, scared, mentally ill, traumatized. I'm not calling you out." She added after Sayori looked away from her. "I'm listing them because those are the problems I have too. We're both a little messed up, and that's okay. You're worth more than any time and compassion I can give you, even if you don't think so." She kissed Sayori's forehead again, and then her nose, and when she leaned forward to reach her lips, Sayori responded in kind with a gentle kiss that left them both smiling in its wake. "You can kiss me as many times as you want, but do it because you want to, not because you feel like you have to to keep me with you, okay?"
They were both quiet for a moment, until Monika's eyes lit up and she gently helped Sayori stand up out of habit before unclasping her bag and digging through it for a moment. She turned around with a big grin and held up a stack of note cards, each one containing several written questions on the front. "Look what I made during my free period! Dr. Sano mentioned some tactics we could use to help keep your memory active, so I whipped up a few problems based on your homework!" Sayori glanced at Monika hesitantly before staring forlornly at the window beside their front door, streams of light peeking through the blinds.
"Do we have to?" She asked. "Right now, I mean? You just got out of school and I was really looking forward to doing something active since I have my leg working again." Her fingers tapped together absently as she looked away, a strained sort of smile taking residence on her face. "Then again, you did just take a shower so I understand if you'd rather stay inside. Plus you went through all the effort of making cards just to help me. I'm sorry, I must sound super ungrateful."
Monika thought about it for a moment; it was true making the cards had taken the better part of her free period and she had been excited to show them to Sayori, but she also understood the desire to go out and finally do all the things that Sayori hadn't been able to do for the past few months.
"Tell you what," Monika started, "This set won't take more than ten to fifteen minutes. Once you get through them all perfectly, we can go swing by the convenience store, grab some drinks, and explore the neighborhood a bit. We can do another set when we get back before dinner. Deal?" Sayori seemed to like this idea, her face breaking out into a big grin at the prospect of taking a walk together through the new neighborhood. In mere moments they were sitting across from each other at the table, with Monika reading out the various questions and Sayori doing her best to memorize the answers in turn.
After a few mistakes and mix-ups, Sayori had managed to get through the entire set of english translations ("Having the word 'There' mean three different things depending on how it's spelled is so unfair!") and true to her word, Monika set the cards aside and slipped her shoes on while Sayori practically danced around the room in excitement. She had slipped her father's coat on and was practically dragging Monika out the door. The temperature had already dropped considerably in the hour Monika had been home, and she had a strong urge to include winter clothes in their house to-do list.
They made their way over to the convenience store where they each bought themselves a hot chocolate before stepping out once more into the frigid air. The overcast above had darkened, but no rain came down as they had a peaceful walk around their new neighborhood. It was mostly multiple storied apartments like their own, but here and there they spotted other services like gas stations and the local library. Monika was watching Sayori balance on a stone barrier beside them when she heard rumblings from afar and saw a train departing from a station not too far to their right, and it made her smile. Little mundane things that were just background aspects to other people were always wonders in her eyes, it helped cement her place in the world even if she knew it wasn't real.
She thought back to the notebook sitting in her backpack in their apartment, and the notes she had made for herself when she had first arrived. Discovering how this world worked, what the intentions behind it were, she had never had a single one answered, and it wasn't as if she could just google her queries online. As much as she liked to put that little nugget of doubt in the back of her mind, she could never deny that this was not reality. She could pretend, and sometimes she would get so caught up in conflict and life that it wouldn't be in the forefront of her mind, but it was always there like a sickening reminder. Sometimes she awoke in the middle of the night and would glance at Sayori and wonder, just wonder the thoughts she was too scared to ever ask aloud:
Just how real are you?
Sayori hopped down off of the stone wall and landed with her arms still stuck out to balance. Unfortunately it seemed that a mere few hours of walking wasn't enough for her to fully master stabilization as her leg buckled beneath her, and Monika quickly leaned over to catch her from fully tumbling to the pavement.
"Ow, ow ow. I don't think I'm ready for jumps like that yet." Sayori muttered with eyes clenched tight. Monika shook her head and helped her back, wrapping an arm underneath Sayori's shoulder to help keep her up. "Thanks, that wasn't very smart of me, ehehe. Oh! Moni, you're shivering! You goofball, you could've said something if you were cold. Come on, let's get you home."
"I thought I was supposed to take care of you? But you are right, you really don't need to take any risks with that leg just because the cast is off." Monika had hardly even noticed until Sayori had said something, too lost in thought, but the cold was indeed getting to her. Sayori slid off one side of her father's coat and slipped it around Monika's shoulder, and though it wasn't nearly big enough to cover them both effectively, it did give them an excuse to walk shoulder to shoulder on their way home. She didn't think anyone would say anything if they held hands or walked closely together outside, but she liked the assurance of coverage all the same.
The apartment unfortunately wasn't much warmer when they hurried inside and Sayori flapped her arms in a flustered manner before skipping to the air-conditioning unit. "Uwaa! I forgot to turn the heat on before we left, nooooo! Shoot, it's like ice in here!" Monika suppressed a giggle and stood behind Sayori as she tinkered with the unit, wrapping her arms around her stomach and lowering her head into its rightful place atop of Sayori's shoulder. There was a sudden smell of dust burning as the heat whirred to life, and Sayori wrinkled her nose as she straightened her back. "Hey, you." Sayori smirked as she turned and gave Monika's cheek a big kiss.
Monika sighed and buried herself deeper into Sayori, her scent, her warmth, she just wanted it all to envelop her. This was safe. This was home. Sayori seemed to notice Monika's extra affection and leaned back, giving her girlfriend a curious look.
"Hey, you okay?" She asked gently. Monika nodded, not quite sure to word how she felt out loud.
"I just like knowing you're here. That you're real and tangible, and not anything else."
"Pfft, what else would I be?" But Monika's only response was to pull Sayori closer. Sayori seemed to realize that this was something personal, as she didn't push the subject any further, and instead just followed Monika's lead in enjoying one another's touch and closeness. After a few minutes she asked, "Hey, you want to finish my flashcards? You took me for a walk, so the least I can do is finish my end of the deal." But to her surprise, Monika shook her head.
"We don't have to. We have all weekend after all, and I'd kinda just like to spend the rest of the night with you." Monika didn't miss the grin Sayori failed to hold back when she said that, and so the two of them soon set to work in getting ready to just relax with each other for the rest of the evening. Monika got to work prepping their dinners while Sayori half rolled, half pushed their blowup mattress into the living room so that they could be closer to the heater, and so that they could watch the television together. Getting it past the tiny kitchen was the hardest part, with Monika having to sit on the sink just so there was enough room.
After their bed was situated in front of the television, Monika brought over a bowl of deep fried squid takoyaki for Sayori and her own thin crust pizza before sitting on the edge of the mattress where Sayori promptly wrapped them both up in the blanket they shared. They swapped doubtful glances at their own meals; Monika's thin crust lived up to its name by having the consistency of cardboard while the cheese was reminiscent of hardened glue, and Sayori's takoyaki had been given quite an uneven ratio of seaweed flakes and takoyaki sauce.
Sayori gave one of the takoyaki balls a poke with her chopsticks. "Huh, it's a good thing I usually add a lot of seaweed to my takoyaki anyway. Can you believe they have the nerve to call it 'deep-fried' when it's a microwavable meal?"
"I wish they'd given me some of that excess seaweed. Still better than that boiled cabbage we were eating at the shelter." Monika muttered as she glanced at her rather empty looking pizza. They glanced at each other again and smiled, soft chuckles escaping their lips as they inspected the other's meals for inconsistencies between what was advertised on the wrapper and what sat before them.
"Grocery trip tomorrow?"
"Yes Ma'am!"
The rest of their evening was spent in mindless enjoyment, watching everything from old movies to whatever anime they stumbled across while channel surfing. The microwavable meals had ended up surprising them, for what they lacked in visual appearance they had at least made up for in a cheap but satisfying taste as they huddled together in front of the television screen. They had ended up watching a marathon of a game show that featured a comedian attempting to play older video games from decades past as fast as possible, with both girls either commenting on the difficulty of older games or frantically cheering for the comedian to do his best, only to fail miserably.
This, Monika knew, was what utter bliss must feel like. To just be at peace, relaxing at home with the person she cared for so very deeply that she would give her heart and soul just to see her smile. Cheap food, cheesy television, and less than lavish living quarters combined into an experience that was undeniably cozy to Moinika. She had dreamt of living in a nice modern city apartment with sleek furniture and an outstanding view before, but there was something enjoyable to be found in the face of such humble and meager living. When she asked Sayori if she felt the same way, she was surprised to find such a bitter and resentful look on her face.
"Hey, what's up? Did I do something wrong?" Monika prodded gently. Sayori shook her head, her animosity quickly fading to a mournful expression as she glanced at their barren walls and blow-up mattress with two pillows and a single thin blanket for the two of them.
"I just miss my old room. That's all. Wanted to experience getting to sit down and hang out with you in it." She refused to delve any further into the subject, and as Monika didn't want to risk their night, pushed no harder. Instead they continued to watch silly television shows and eat unhealthy food well past their regular bed time, when the stars outside had all come out and the only light in the room was the glare of the television screen.
Monika hadn't realized how late it was until she felt Sayori's gentle snores against her, and after nudging her girlfriend awake they both trudged to the bathroom which hadn't been fortunate enough to receive the heat from the air conditioning unit. Both girls quickly brushed their teeth and practically leapt back to the warmth of their blanket where they quickly huddled together until their shivering ceased. As they finished settling in for the night, Monika tossed and turned in discomfort before finally discarding her sweater and bra on the grounds that she'd be warm beneath the blanket and preferred a little less coverage as opposed to being itchy during the night.
She noticed Sayori purposefully staring in the opposite direction as she did so, and smirked. Whether it was out of politeness, embarrassment, or simply habit, Monika didn't know, and she could feel her own chest flutter at the implications of sleeping topless beside Sayori of all people. But she wasn't going to have Sayori feeling uncomfortable or as though she had to be careful in her own bed. She reached over and wrapped her arms around Sayori, pulling her close so that she had to face her and laid down against the pillows. Monika had to give her credit for trying not to look, but at this point she might've had better luck trying to avoid gravity itself for what it was worth.
"I thought you were self conscious about um, this level of intimacy." Sayori whispered. "You got really embarrassed when we bathed together that one time, so I thought you might not want to be this close." Monika giggled and shook her head.
"That was different, love. I wasn't expecting to have the girl I was secretly crushing on press her chest against my own bare back. But here, in our own apartment, with you being my girlfriend?" She leaned down and planted a soft kiss against Sayori's head. "If anyone is allowed to see me like this, it's you, silly." Monika could tell that Sayori was nervous from the stutter in her breath that she felt, and she found that she couldn't blame her hesitance. It was new for them, both of them, to be so close to someone and be willing to expose a part of themselves that they had never revealed before. The incident in their former club room seemed to have put a damper on any forms of intimacy beyond just kissing, but here in the safety of their home, and in each other's arms, vulnerability was welcomed.
Sayori certainly didn't need any more convincing, as she wrapped her arms around Monika and pulled herself closer so that she could nuzzle Monika's chest. She smiled warmly, closed her eyes, and let out a content sigh that was warm against Monika's skin. Monika wrapped an arm around Sayori as well, the other hand gently rubbing through her girlfriend's hair as they both began to drift off into an easy slumber. The sound of the heater mixed with the quiet pattering of a beginning rainfall outside were their lullabies, and the gentle glow of their charging phones were their nightlights.
"G'night, Moni…"
"Goodnight, Sayori."
The morning brought with it new pleasures, and new challenges for both girls to face. Sayori was awake when Monika began to stir, and she could tell that something was bothering her by the confused and almost frightened look she had, as though she had woken up lost and in an unfamiliar location. When Monika looked over at her however it seemed to bring her back to earth and Sayori insisted on hugs before they anything else, and Monika was more than happy to bequeath any kind of affection.
During a light breakfast of eggs and bread, as they had no toaster, Monika put her plan from the day prior for a to-do list into motion. Together with occasional interjections of ideas from Sayori, Monika wrote a list of all the things they might need for the apartment in order of priority from greatest to least, starting with groceries and ending with more trivial things such as makeup and extra pillows. Not even the steady trickle of rain could dampen Monika's excitement as she threw on the toffee-colored shirt she had bought for their date, but the same didn't seem to apply for Sayori.
Whereas yesterday her mood had been affable and bouncy, today's Sayori was quiet and distant, as if reflecting the weather outside. As they piled into a taxi together, Monika watched her girlfriend sit with her head against the window, eyes half-lulled into a thoughtful trance as she mindlessly looked at her phone. Monika had figured that with her leg usable again, she would've been itching to go out and put it to use. She didn't want to seem overly worried, as she knew Sayori wasn't fond of others' concern even on her better days, so without a word she slipped her hand into Sayori's and rubbed her thumb across the top as a silent sign. Sayori looked up at Monika and gave the briefest of smiles that did little to convince either of them.
"I'm okay, just… winter." She said, lazily waving a hand as though swatting at a fly. "My dep- my illness has never really mixed well with winter time, which is a shame because I really love the holiday lights and snow and events and all that. My head just doesn't let me enjoy it like I want to, I guess." She went silent for a moment, leaving Monika in thought at her words before suddenly asking, "Hey, is it okay if Yuri knows where we live? I told her we were off to buy household stuff and she took a guess that we moved."
Not seeing a reason otherwise, Monika nodded. She hadn't had the chance to speak to any of her other former club members since the club's dispersion between getting settled into her new home, new club, as well as the mounting schoolwork everyone in her year was facing, Sayori included. She lamented not inviting Yuri and Natsuki to come out with them, but figured that grocery shopping wasn't the most thrilling way for her friends to spend a Saturday anyway.
Two hours later, Monika strolled out of a store with two heavy-laden bags of clothes in tow. A small part of her felt a pang of disappointment that their limited financing and budgeting left them with little to spend for clothing, but with the temperature only lowering as time went on, the fact of the matter was that they were in desperate need of warmer clothes. Though they didn't own a dresser yet, the fact that they now lived somewhere they could store personal belongings such as clothes was such a relief to Monika.
She looked back to see Sayori a few steps behind, a single bag in her hands and her head ducked low as she stepped out of the store, looking around as though worried someone might yank the bag out of her hands. Monika raised an eyebrow back at her.
"Thought you weren't getting anything?" Sayori had been oddly insistent in saying she didn't need any more clothes despite Monika knowing exactly how few outfits Sayori had stored in her duffel-bag. Monika had reasoned that Sayori was merely trying to spare their budget as much as possible.
"O-oh, just a hat!" Sayori explained quickly. Monika gave her a look before chuckling and shaking her head, nodding towards the taxi that sat waiting to take them back to their apartment. They hadn't managed to grab everything on the list, not even close, but it was a step in the right direction in Monika's books. As much as she wanted to stay out, the rain mixed with Sayori's already dampened mood were indications that their Saturday was best suited indoors beside one another enjoying the satisfaction of their new purchases. Scampering through the rain to the taxi, the girls quickly filtered inside where the heat welcomed them with open arms.
The ride home was quiet and uneventful, with a hint of gloom as Monika cast occasional anxious glances towards Sayori until they arrived back at home. She noticed Sayori conveniently hid the 'hat' she had bought away while sorting the meats and noodles into their freezer, and she gave a small shake of the head. She knew Sayori well enough to know it was either the most ridiculous looking hat in the world, or wasn't a hat at all. There was no possibility for an inbetween with her, and she secretly loved that. It was after half an hour of sorting groceries and dispensing toiletries, when she was neatly folding their brand new clothes to stack beside the bed that she heard the sound of car doors shutting outside.
There were two gentle knocks upon their door followed by a rapid beating, as though a passerby had suddenly discovered their passion for rhythm and couldn't stop themselves from practicing upon their door. Monika sniffed in indignation, crossing over to the door where she threw it open to reveal two smiling figures waiting outside, each carrying a bag.
"Hello, Monika. I apologize for the intrusion-"
"I don't, it's colder than a witch's tit out here, let us in!" Natsuki practically barged past Monika and immediately stood in front of the window where the heating unit sat blasting and let out a content sigh. Monika stepped aside, allowing for Yuri to enter who mouthed a quick "Sorry" and gave Natsuki a reproachful look that went unnoticed, as she lifted the hem of her fluffy coat to encapsulate all of the heat. Sayori came out of the bathroom with wide eyes as she saw Yuri and Natsuki, and quickly bounded over to greet the both of them while Monika kicked the door shut.
"Yuri, Natsuki! What are you doing here? Ah, it's so good to see you both! Holy cow I missed getting to just see you guys every day during the club!" Sayori's hands tittered back and forth anxiously, as though begging to pull both of their friends into a warm hug, but Natsuki held her hands up to keep her at bay.
"Easy, 'Riri. I'm still sick and I don't want you catching my cold. Sorry for stealing your heat by the way, the AC in Yuri's hatchback died, apparently, and it was straight up freezing out there! I- holy shit, are you walking?!" Everyone turned to Sayori's cast free leg, a whooping cheer from Natsuki following an 'I knew you could do it' smile from Yuri. As Natsuki gave Sayori a high-five she peered out around her, raising a single eyebrow at the near-barren apartment. She opened her mouth, but then stopped as if reconsidering before giving a very serious look and swapping looks with Yuri. Monika realized just how pitiful they must've looked, and suddenly felt a wave of shame at having their friends show up to see nothing but a mattress and a television.
Natsuki coughed into her hand, though whether it was from being under the weather or the tension, Monika couldn't tell. "I uh, I know it's not nice to not have stuff that you… that you should have. So we, Yuri and I, gathered some stuff we don't really need and thought it might help you guys. Yeah." She scratched her head and looked away, presenting her plastic bag to Monika. She opened it to reveal several canning jars, candles, garbage bags, and a long draft stopper that was made to look like a bright pink cat. Monika was surprised, both in the utter selflessness in Natsuki giving them things when she had so little to give, and the fact that they were all things they hadn't thought to write on their shopping list.
Yuri stepped in to save Natsuki who clearly wasn't sure what to say next. "Sayori told me you were buying household necessities, and I asked her what all you were getting so that we might be able to lend a hand. Here." She handed her bag to Sayori, who carefully took it and peeked inside with excited eyes. "They're all second-hand I'm afraid, as my parents had many that they had bought and simply never used more than a few times, I figured they should be satisfactory for your needs."
"Oh, so that's why you wanted our address. Moni, look! We didn't think to get any plates or bowls at the store, Yuri you smartypants! Oh man, dinner would've been the worst tonight without this!" Sure enough, sets of plates, bowls, teacups, and a kettle sat neatly stacked within the bag, with Monika and Sayori both setting them out along the kitchen in their new rightful places before glancing back at their guests.
"Honestly Yuri, Natsuki, thank you both so much." Monika said, bowing her head low in thanks. Yuri smiled brightly while Natsuki gave a dismissive wave, turning back to the heater. "I know it isn't much of anything, but please, make yourselves at home. We just got back ourselves and were still putting groceries away when you guys showed up, but I can start dinner if you'd like to stay for that? It's the least we can do since you went to all the trouble."
Natsuki's head turned at the mere mention of food and she cast a hopeful glance at Yuri, who was looking hesitantly between the other three. Yuri sighed and glanced at Monika, almost apologetically. "Are you sure? I really wouldn't want to intrude, and I know since you just moved feeding four when not expecting company might be, er, well… strainful." Monika saw the realization sinking in on Natsuki's face out of the corner of her eye, and watched as she shifted to turn back to the heater in a veiled attempt at hiding any disappointment.
Monika smiled, shaking her head. "I wouldn't have offered it if I hadn't meant it. Go on and take your coats off, get comfy wherever you can. We can move the table and chairs in here as well- Say, can you get that while I start on the eggs for the oyakodon?" Sayori gave her a salute before stepping into the kitchen while Monika gave Yuri a friendly clap on the shoulder. "You've done enough for us. Let me and Sayori do something for you guys for once." As she stepped away to begin cooking, she heard Natsuki's muffled voice from behind her.
"Ah, yes, finally. Proper payment for beating my friend's ass and being a jerk." Natsuki's voice had an undertone to it, but Monika had still heard it well enough. Judging by the slight twitch from Sayori, so had she.
"Don't think I've forgotten you dragging me off of that Hasegawa kid." Monika, insistent on keeping spirits high instead of bitter over past mistakes, began cracking the eggs without looking towards the living room. "That would've landed me a suspension, or worse. You're a valued friend and have made mistakes like the rest of us, now shut up and put something good on TV." She shot a grin towards Natsuki, happy to see a toothy one being returned to her as their guests gave in and began to get comfortable. Yuri took a seat from Sayori, and Natsuki the corner of the blow-up mattress.
Natsuki flicked through the channels for a moment before sitting up as though she had sat in something and looked between her in the kitchen with a skeptical glare.
"You guys haven't screwed on this thing, have you?"
"Natsuki!"
"What? No, come on, that was a legitimate question!"
The afternoon descended into evening as the four of them settled down to discuss what they had been up to over the week while putting Yuri's old bowls to use. Monika was by no means a cook, but felt she had done pretty well in making a delicious dinner for them all. It was this that prompted Natsuki to actually compliment Monika's cooking, admitting she had ended up taking the Baking Club to fill her spot for after school since she at least had some familiarity with it.
"But there's always some know-it-all being a jackass, trying to give instructions to the rest of us as if they were Masaharu Morimoto. Like, calm down Satoshi, everyone knows to use room temperature ingredients."
Yuri had originally been interested in the tabletop club, but couldn't gather the confidence to join a game already in progress and had instead decided to join the Future Doctors of Japan Club. She told the others of how most of their duties ended up just being cleaning after the school nurse and assisting her in after school duties or filling in for her during their free period if they desired. Monika had little to say about the tennis club aside from enjoying being active for once, and Sayori felt much the same about getting to come home early.
All in all, everyone seemed to agree that while their respective activities were nice, none of them came close to replacing the club. With dinner finished they soon found themselves sitting back and watching a movie they had found on the television about a school for magical children that Yuri seemed particularly fond of. Monika was sitting on the edge of the mattress with Sayori's head in her lap, playing with tufts of strawberry-blonde hair between her fingertips. Natsuki and Yuri had both retreated to the pair of chairs, with Yuri sitting crossed legged and completely absorbed in the film. Natsuki sat with her empty bowl in her lap after her second helping, her head lolled back over the top of the chair and a groan on her lips.
Monika saw her raise her head up, looking between the empty bedroom and the living room as if searching for something, and when she couldn't seem to find it she looked down at Sayori.
"Hey Riri, how come none of your stuff is here? Surprised you're not hugging up on Mr. Cow right now." She asked. Sayori frowned and gave a shrug, dodging Natsuki's eyes as she stared into the television.
"Well, I couldn't take my whole room with me. I had to pack the essentials."
"But it's still your house technically, right? So nothing's stopping you from just hopping over there and grabbing it." She thought about it for a second before grimacing, as if recalling a familiar but bitter taste. "Well, aside from dealing with your parents. That uh, that could be awkward. Sorry, dumb question." She nestled back into the chair but her words seemed to have caught Sayori's attention because she sat up suddenly, a conflicting look on her face as she too glanced around the barren room.
"I miss my things…" She muttered. "I miss my laptop, my stuffed animals, my books too, even if I didn't read all of them. I miss all of my pillows and blankets and posters. It probably seems silly, but I didn't realize how important they were until I didn't have them anymore. Is that weird?" She turned to look at Monika beside her with a look of genuine distraught on her face. "Am I just making a big deal out of nothing? I mean, you seemed fine without your things. I'm just kinda being a big baby over some stuffed animals, aren't I?"
Monika froze, because the first thought that had gone through her head was indeed "They're just stuffed animals" and she felt ashamed for even thinking that way. It was true that Monika had nothing, but she had lived a life of nothing. Sayori had grown up with warm blankets and toys that kept her entertained in her darker hours, posters and objects that were hers and cemented her stable lifestyle. Monika had never had to experience losing that, because she had never had it in the first place. But Sayori undoubtedly had, and the look on her face alone was enough to argue back the point about them just being toys.
They're not to her.
Monika shook her head and planted a kiss on Sayori's forehead, warm and welcoming. "If it's important to you, then I don't think anyone here has any right to call you a baby. The apartment could definitely do with some decorations, but if you don't want to risk a confrontation with your mom, I'll understand." She put her thumb and index finger on her chin, speculating on the possible ways to go about their plan. "Although, we'd need a way to carry all of the stuff from one place to the other. Any ideas?"
It was like someone had whispered the idea into all their heads in unison, as each girl slowly turned at Monika's words to look at one member in-particular. Yuri quickly became aware of their penetrating stares and raised her hands with a terrified expression plastered across her face. No longer able to hide behind flowing strands of hair, Yuri's face went from flushed to pale in a matter of seconds as she raised her arms in a failed attempt at fending off their assumptions.
"I-I don't- you can't honestly expect me to- oh dear…"
Fifteen minutes later they were all piled into Yuri's hatchback, bundled tightly against the evening chill as Yuri flashed sporadic affronted looks at her friends every now and again. "Honestly," She'd mumble, "I don't mind giving rides, but breaking into someone else's house is a bit much to ask, isn't it?"
"We're not breaking into anything, Yuri, since Sayori still- still-" A high-pitched muffled sneeze echoed throughout the car, and Natsuki shook her head. "Ugh, headache. Sayori legally lives here so even if her mom wants to be a total bitch and call the cops, there ain't jack they can do except make us leave." Natsuki sat bundled up tightly in the backseat, a glazed look in Natsuki's eyes that told Monika she certainly wasn't at peak performance, meanwhile Sayori who sat beside her held a sort of anxiousness in her eyes as they furthered along. Monika had taken the passenger seat beside Yuri, her new winter coat keeping her content as they slid down the darkened road past the school.
Monika smirked and took a sip of the coffee she had brought with her, glancing over at Yuri who looked rather tense as she focused on the shadowy road ahead. "She's got a point, you know. Besides, we're dealing with an expert. Natsuki's already broken into your house, so she's got practice."
"Yeah, I- heeey!" Natsuki pouted as short bursts of laughter bounced throughout the car. For a secret stealth mission in the night, the mood was surprisingly jubilant. Monika suspected they were all using laughter as a cover for their own anxiousness at the coming task. "I do have experience though, I have to sneak in and out of my house constantly. It's easier when you're small and light like me, but pulling yourself up can be a real pain if you're on the second story. It's important to know what floorboards squeak and which ones don't, door creaking, weight placement, it's all a factor."
As they came to a stoplight, Yuri lightly hit her head against a steering wheel with a slight thwump. "Fantastic. I am nothing short of thrilled to learn the specifications and details of crime commitment while driving you all to participate in what is arguably one in itself." There was another round of quiet laughter, but it faded to silence as Yuri began to drive forward again, and turned onto the next road over. Though quiet and empty at this time of night, the streetlamps guided them to the familiar street that Monika knew even in the dark now. Rows of mirrored houses lining either side of the street, except for a single desolate building at the end of the street.
Yuri's car pulled to a stop outside of the Moriyama residence, a white picket fence separating them from their destination. Sayori peered anxiously over the shoulder of Natsuki, whose face was pressed up against the glass with narrowed eyes. Monika too leaned forward to get a better look at the house, and all at once they seemed to notice the same thing.
"Lights are out." Monika murmured. Like several houses along the road, the inside was pitch black without even a porchlight to illuminate the front yard. A single white sedan sat in the driveway, gently reflecting the glow of a nearby streetlamp like a diluted night-light. The digital clock on Yuri's center console showed that it wasn't even 8:00 yet, causing most of them to turn to Sayori for an explanation. She gave a feeble smile and shrugged.
"Mom always did go to bed early." Sayori muttered, but the look she had did little to reassure. Natsuki clapped her hands together and looked between the others mischievously, startling them all as she began designating their individual tasks.
"Right, so I think Sayori and I should be the ones to go in." She whispered as though they were already at risk of being caught. "Sayori has to because she knows where to go, and what to get. I'm nimble and light on my feet, so it makes sense that I go in with her. Three's a crowd, so you two should probably stay out here." At this she pointed at Yuri and Monika, both girls raising an eyebrow in unison at her. "Just in case someone comes by and you have to explain, also in case something goes wrong and we need to run for it. Got it?"
Yuri frowned. "Natuski, surely this could wait until the morning? Even if Sayori has no desire to see her mother, we could all at least be by her side while she gathers her things to support her, rather than sneaking in? What if you get caught? Don't you think a confrontation is likely to go better in a more consensual and appropriate setting? It isn't too late to back out." But before Natsuki could speak up, Sayori answered in her stead.
"No." She said simply. "If I don't do it now, I don't think I'm going to have the courage to come back and try again. Because this is actually kind of scary, ehehe." Monika turned back to look at Sayori, but she was still focused on the house. Her fingers were jittery and tapping together at a rapid pace in her lap, and as much as Monika suddenly felt that Yuri might have a point, she knew from the look on her girlfriend's face that just being in front of the house was eating at her nerves. She reached back to grab Sayori's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. Sayori didn't look at her, but she did squeeze her hand back: a good sign.
Monika turned back to Yuri. "We're already here, the longer we hold them up, the longer it'll take for them to get back. Be safe and be quick, we'll be right here if anything happens, alright?" She gave Natsuki and Sayori an encouraging nod, watching as they opened their doors and slid out into the night towards the house. As soon as the doors closed, Monika slid back into her seat and sighed, running a hand through her hair and muttering, "Oh my God, this is such a terrible idea."
Yuri turned on Monika, her mouth agape and a slight twitch in the corner of her lips as she raised her hands as if in a desperate plea. "Where was that uncertainty when I was trying to dissuade them, Monika?!" She hissed, throwing herself back into her own seat as well as mimicking Monika's defeated posture. They were both quiet for a time until Yuri peeked out of the window, shaking her head. "Honestly, I do not understand why they're so headstrong in this! Why is she risking so much on.. on decorations?! Why did you agree to this if you think it's a bad idea?"
Monika shook her head, turning to face out the window as well. "It's important to her. She grew up in that room, and all of those things, her books and laptop, her personal belongings, to her I imagine they're like parts of her identity. What little stuff we have in the apartment is all new to her, things that came after her parents divorce and her suicide attempt. I wouldn't call them reminders or anything so serious, but I imagine having things that came before she ran away will sort of act as an anchor." She jumbled her hands together to try and give a visual example, but nothing seemed to fit her meaning quite right. "At least she'll have something familiar to mix with the new, you know?"
"Honestly, not really." Yuri admitted with a small shake of the head. "I have been quite fond of disposing of things from my past, things that do naught but remind me of what I'd rather forget. But if things were reversed, then perhaps.." She sighed and turned the key, turning off the car as the gentle rumbling ceased into an eerie silence. "I'm just worried for them both. Sayori's leg has only just been rendered fit for use, and Natsuki… Natsuki can barely run a lap in Gym without risking a syncope from her low blood sugar. You know how she is, constantly putting up a 'cool' front to try and seem all superior because she's terrified of being lesser than everyone."
Monika nodded knowingly, taking a long drawn out sip of her coffee. "Wonder who gave her that complex." She muttered, and Yuri nodded absently.
"I believe, and I truly mean this, that if someone would make an effort to understand her wholly instead of assuming they understand her based on misconceptions and presumptions as I have done, they might have a chance at seeing a completely different person. Someone a little more unburdened by social pressure and appearances." Yuri was still looking outside, but Monika could see her reflection smile in the glass. "Someone who is passionate about her interests, someone who can smile for herself, genuinely, instead of wearing a cocky grin like a shield. The real Natsuki, if that makes sense." She turned to glance back at Monika. "D-does that make sense?"
Monika was smirking so widely she was sure she was crossing into 'shit-eating-grin' territory. Yuri blinked at her, clearly waiting to be let in on whatever joke Monika was making. And then she understood, her befuddlement transforming into a dark look as she bristled at Monika.
"That is not what I-"
"It's easier to recognize when you see it on your own face, in the mirror, in your head for days at a time." Monika said in a lofty impression of her friend. "This might be hard to believe, but I was once rather soft on someone." Yuri looked positively furious, and for a split second Monika understood how Natsuki had felt when she had been assaulted with a pencil case. Even without her long hair, there was a rather intimidating presence Yuri managed to hold, but it was quickly taken over by a quivering look of terror. Before she could say anything, Monika continued. "I also might've seen you in the stairwell with her on the day the club got axed. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop or anything, I just happened to see her asleep on your shoulder and you leaning over to kiss-"
"K-kissing is not explicitly romantic, M-Monika!" Yuri said hurriedly, her voice suddenly taking an unnaturally high tone. "There have been many cases of p-platonic affection in literature, erm, that is to say, both in literature and real life! W-why Tolkien himself was an avid user of expressing platonic affection in his works, as a kiss to the forehead in quite commonly an expression of deep friendship and-" But Monika held her hand up to stop Yuri from descending into a full on explanation on the fineries of affection in a non-romantic manner.
"Yuri, relax, it's just me here. With all that I've confided in you, do you really think I'm going to tell anyone about your crush?" She tried to sound lighthearted in the matter, but Yuri had begun shaking at that point and looked as though she greatly desired nothing more than to hide behind her now nonexistent bangs. Monika laid a hand on her shoulder reassuringly, but Yuri grabbed hers in turn and gave Monika a very fearful look.
"Monika, you do not understand." She breathed. "This is not something that was supposed to happen. Natsuki's sexuality is entirely unknown, and I do not think it is entirely unreasonable to assume that she hasn't been raised with the highest tolerance for such things." Monika narrowed her eyes at that and raised a brow at Yuri.
"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying she has something against-"
"Not intrinsically!" Yuri cut her across. "I-I do not think she legitimately has anything against anyone who is queer, b-but I… I think that sometimes she can accidentally mimic things she has likely heard growing up. Preconceptions and misinformation, that kind of thing. From what she tells me, her father doesn't have very high opinions of people like us." Yuri looked closer at Monika with a very serious look in her eyes. "So you can imagine how problematic it would be for her if… if one of her friends liked her? It is one thing to see your friends, erm, 'hook up', you could say. But can you imagine what it might be like if she found out one of them l-l… l-likes her?"
The sound of the trunk opening startled both girls and sent them up against their respective doors in a panic. Natsuki was straining under the weight of a massive garbage bag that seemed to have been filled with various possessions judging by the odd lumps and bulges protruding from its cover. With a heave and a groan she rolled the bag into the trunk, turning to pick up a similarly sized lump from beside her.
"Can you… believe… this girl had the nerve to throw a bean-bag chair- shit, it won't- okay, got it." She gave a small sigh and leaned against the hull of the trunk. "Holy hell. So, we had the great idea of having her go up to her room and put stuff in bags, and then dropping it in the bushes for me to lug back here. That way we wouldn't have to go up and down the stairs twenty freaking times. Too bad her aim is trash- sorry, Monika, because she hit me instead of the giant bush ten feet below the window." She wiped her brow and then gave both girls a thumbs up before dashing back off to the fence.
"W-wait, close the trunk! Oh, never mind. It's not as though I have working heat anyway." Yuri muttered as she shook her head and watched Natsuki's silhouette vanish through the gate. Monika waited a few moments to make sure Natsuki wasn't immediately coming back, and then returned to their conversation.
"Look," She began, "Why don't you just talk to her about it? Not directly, maybe ask her if there's anyone cute in her baking club she's noticed? Ease into it, you know how hard it can be after all, especially since we aren't sure if she likes the same sex." She wanted to help Yuri, much like Yuri had helped her when she had been terrified of her feelings towards Sayori. She knew the fear of rejection, of ruining a friendship and making things awkward, and she wanted to do all she could to ensure that each of her friends were happy. Yuri however returned to her previously frustrated expression and shook her head.
"You do not understand. This is not a simple matter of fearing rejection, though that does indeed terrify me." Yuri took a deep breath, looking back through her window to see if the coast was clear. "I would lament the horrifying and awkward tension that would sprout from her not feeling the same, much as I predict it. What I fear more however is for her to say 'Yes'. Think about it, Monika!" Monika had just opened her mouth to interject but Yuri was not having it. "If she opens up and admits to liking me, or God forbid, discovers that she likes girls because of me, how do you think that will impact her life at home? With a parent who is already mistreating her without adding homosexuality as a reason to do so!"
Monika was taken aback, not just by her tone but by the fact that she was absolutely right. "I mean, I suppose, yes. So what, you just plan on sitting by and not doing anything? Admiring her from a distance?" She felt a bite in her words though she wasn't quite sure why she was feeling so strongly about the subject. Yuri closed her eyes and nodded.
"It is something I am well accustomed to. Until she is in a living situation where my feelings do not pose a risk of endangering her, I will be satisfied with simply appreciating the friendship that I have with her." When she opened her eyes, there was a distinct discomfort in them that refused to let her meet Monika's own, as though she was greatly contesting something inside of her. "And… And I think that perhaps, you erm- well, you may want to consider the same. With… with Sayori." Her face scrunched up in a wince as though she expected Monika to bite at her.
Not an unreasonable expectation, given how I'm feeling, Monika thought to herself as her eyebrows furrowed.
"What does that mean?" Monika snapped. Yuri let out a small groan and motioned to the darkened house behind them as though this explained everything. It did not. "Yuri, what? Sayori is living with me now, this is just a one time thing to get her stuff back so she doesn't have to come back- Will you stop making that face and just explain, please?!"
"She doesn't live with you, Monika!" Yuri finally hissed. Monika opened her mouth to ask if she really had the audacity to accuse Sayori of living with someone else, but Yuri was a step ahead of her. "Legally, I mean! Like Natsuki said, Sayori is still a resident of this household even if she has not been there for the past two and a half months! Because she is still a minor under the age of twenty, she is designated as being under her parent's care whether they are actively looking after her or not! Do you understand what that means?" Monika glared, but shook her head. "Because she is classified as a runaway, you could under the terms of the law be considered Aiding and Abetting."
"But her dad's completely fine with it! Why would he bother trying to charge me over harboring Sayori?" Monika asked, and yet she seemed to answer her own question as soon as she spoke aloud. The revelation dawned on it like a lightbulb blowing out, and she suddenly felt an icy pit take form in her stomach. Yuri nodded as Monika's mouth gaped open and she sat back in her seat, the winter air seeming much more chilled than it had mere minutes ago. Sayori's father would never, but what of Sayori's mother, Ms. Moriyama? If Sayori's mother won custody and did not approve of Sayori's living arrangements, what would happen then? Would she call the police? Would she try and have Monika arrested? What would happen to Sayori?
Sayori's father had expressed a distinct lack of confidence on whether he'd win the custody of Sayori or not. Monika hadn't really considered the ramifications on what would happen if this came to fruition, but now she felt absolutely terrified. Hisoka Moriyama at least had come to understand his mistakes and the ramifications of his actions, and had tried to mend his relationship with his daughter. Sayori's mother on the other hand had done little to nothing to try and repair relations with her, in fact as far as Monika knew she had only made things worse by having Ms. Kusumoto snoop on them and take the money from Sayori's savings account. She felt slightly sick, and found that she suddenly wanted to be at home on her blow-up mattress with Sayori.
"Why do you know so much about this anyway?" Monika asked, trying to keep up her frustrated front up, but the concern and fear was chipping away at it. Yuri too looked as though she was struggling to stay upset at Monika, and her eyes flicked towards the window for just a moment, just long enough for Monika to put two and two together from it. "Oh, oh Yuri, surely you didn't-"
"She is being heavily neglected at the very least, and downright mistreated or abused at the worst, Monika." Yuri said without a trace of regret.
"Yuri-"
"Unfortunately the laws in this country are very explicit when it comes to these things, but before you say anything I did it all under the pretense of making sure my friend isn't being mistreated at home. I was not trying to look for a way to move her into my house or anything like that, just for a way to get her somewhere healthier for her sake."
"Yuri, there's-"
"And why shouldn't I? You would do the same for Sayori whether you were dating her or not, I have no doubt. In fact, I suspect after what I've told you that you'll go home and try to find a loophole yourself, so do not sit there and act as though I am doing something nefarious or that there is something wrong with me looking out for Natsuki when you know-"
"Yuri, there's a light on in the house." Monika was looking through the window behind Yuri, a single glowing square visible on the left side of the house. Monika knew that Sayori's room was on the far right side of the house, which could only mean one thing. They swapped terrified looks, all concerns and agitation against one another forgotten as the both found themselves frantically scrambling through the car to try and open their doors. Monika got out first, clambering over the car to try and peer over the fence for any sign of Sayori and Natsuki.
There was no way to alert them without making noise, whether she ran to warn them or tried to call them. She looked to Yuri who was still inside the car, and then back to the gate before making her decision. She stuck her heels out, muffling her steps across the pavement as she pushed the gate aside and looked around, trying to make out the shapes of her friends in the darkness. Her heart was beating a mile a minute from the sudden very real risk of them all getting caught, which seemed much more threatening with the realization of what Yuri had told her. Natsuki had mentioned being outside Sayori's window, which meant the right side…
Natsuki had two more bags with her, one in each hand as she turned to look at Monika who was sweating bullets. Natsuki saw her expression and seemed to understand immediately, her face breaking into a similar expression before motioning up towards the house.
"Sayori's still up there!" She whispered before making a dash towards the car. There was no telling how long Sayori had until she was discovered, or if she already had been. All Monika could do was wait until she poked her head out the window, calling her name in sharp whispers in the vague hope of grabbing her attention before it was too late. They had to hurry. They had to get out of there. Why was she taking so long? Had something gone wrong? Monika hissed out another call. Nothing. There was no way Sayori hadn't been caught by now, it had to have happened, and Monika was standing there being useless.
Finally she saw the familiar round face of Sayori peeking out the window with a single small bag and a wide smile. "Hey, this is the last- where's Nat?" Her voice and smile dropped upon seeing Monika, clearly sensing that something was wrong by her jumpy movement and frantic expression.
"Your mom is awake, there's a light on! Get down here now, we need to leave! See if you can- Sayori, no!" It was a split second decision from both of them, with Sayori crawling through the window and Monika racing forward through the bushes to catch her before she could hit the hedge line. The less than perfect catch buckled Monika's knees and sent her to ground in an instant, feeling a dull thump against her lip as Sayori's head collided with it. There was a distinct coppery taste in her mouth, but she didn't care about that right now. She tried to check and see if Sayori was alright, but her girlfriend was already standing up and pulling Monika with her towards the driveway.
More lights were on as they passed through the gate and into the street, the hatchback giving a gentle rumble as both girls got in. Natsuki held the back door open for Sayori to dive into, and Monika threw the trunk door down as she reared around the back and jumped into the passenger seat. They were off before Monika had even closed the door, speeding at a somewhat reasonable pace down the street and veering around the corner, out of sight. Monika felt her chest heaving, suddenly grateful for the cool air as she leaned back in her seat and let out a sigh of relief.
Natsuki raised her arms and let out a weak celebratory cheer, but she was the only one. "Hell yeah man! Oh God, you gave me a heart attack when you came over there. I think we got everything though, right Riri? You were taking forever on that last bag, but hoooly shit, I don't care where we go but please let it be somewhere with water because I feel like I'm about to pass out." She collapsed limply in her seat, and though nobody responded she seemed more than satisfied with their escape.
Yuri was looking panic-stricken, eyes darting around the road as though she expected something to jump out at her. Sayori sat behind Monika, silent, while Monika held a finger up to her gums to assess the damage. Seeing only a little bit of blood, she wiped her hand off and tried to turn to talk to her girlfriend, but Sayori was staring into the floorboard where two of her smaller bags sat. Was it that she had almost been caught that was causing her silence? Monika wasn't sure. There was so much on her mind that she didn't know how to ask about what was eating Sayori, and she was sure Sayori felt the same way.
Instead of speaking, she slipped her hand down between the seat and the door, holding it out in front of Sayori and giving it a wiggle to grab her attention. She knew Sayori saw it wiggling in front of her, just barely poking out from between the seats, but no matter how she motioned or beckoned, she did not feel the warmth of Sayori's hand in hers for the rest of the ride home.