AN: Hey everyone. I truly appreciate the favorites and one review (unfortunately). I'm hoping as the story continues, I'll get a little more reader participation in the review section. I will admit that reviews do keep me motivated, and I hope this story is enjoyable as we continue to explore Ezra's brief fall into the Darkside.
Chapter 2: Chinks in the Armor
The Ghost crew is coming to grips that their family is fractured, and in need of some TLC.
"He's getting another mission lead?" Sabine asked, not hiding her discontent at the newly discovered information she received during the most recent meeting.
"Well, Sato has taken notice of the success rate on missions where Ezra's been the lead," Hera responded as she headed further into the kitchen, in search of some precious caf after a long and tedious briefing. "And even you have to admit, he's not wrong."
Sabine snorted a little as she crossed her arms and leaned against the kitchen door frame. "It's not the success rate that I have a problem with." She said. "It's Ezra."
"What about him?" Hera asked.
"Well, ever since… you know." Sabine responded with a bit of hesitation before deciding to just plow through her point. "Ezra's been treating the rest of us like we don't know what we're doing, and you know as well as I do that we can take care of ourselves. He talks down to us and takes too much on by himself instead of fighting along with us as a team. If he doesn't get his head out of his rear end sooner than later, then his luck will run out."
"I understand what you're saying Sabine," Hera said, knowing what Sabine was referring to. "But we can't forget that he believes he's responsible for what happened on Malachor. I'm sure he doesn't mean to come off as talking down to any of you, but now he's afraid to lose someone else that he cares about."
"But he dealt with loss so much better before." Sabine pointed out. "I'd be hard-pressed to find someone who could've handled what happened with his parents better than he did. I would've thought he could've handled this too without changing so much."
"Malachor was different though, Sabine." Hera said. "When his parents were taken away, he was just a small child and he didn't know that he had Jedi powers back then either. There was nothing he could have done to save his parents, but with whatever happened on Malachor, he truly believes that he either didn't do enough or made a bad decision that caused harm to Kanan and Ashoka. You should try to keep that in mind too. It might help to understand where his mind is during future missions."
Zeb groaned in frustration as the mech droid chirped happily, having come yet another move closer to defeating the furry muscle of the group again at dejarik. He may be a large meat bag, but he was a meat bag none the less, and as such not too difficult to defeat.
Fortunately for Zeb, his inevitable loss was interrupted as the two women of the Ghost returned to the lounge area from the galley with their dinners.
"I don't understand why we're still sitting here on the bench." Sabine complained. "There are plenty of other crews heading out, but we've been stuck in a holding pattern for over six months now."
Chopper chose that moment to chime in with his opinion, and that temporarily drew Sabine's attention to him. "And what exactly is wrong with wanting to blow things up when it takes a bite out of the Empire?" She said to the little droid in response.
"You may not think so Sabine, but there has been a noticeable drop in missions all around." Hera explained. "It hasn't just been us. Without Ashoka as Fulcrum, a drop in new information should be expected. We just need to be patient."
"A drop sure," Sabine responded. "But not a single mission for us when other teams have still received some here and there? If I didn't know better, I'd think that our inactivity has more to do with certain absent Jedi than the lack of intel. Besides, we've barely seen either of them during our lay off either."
"That's not fair." Hera said.
"It's been over six months, Hera." Sabine continued. "When are we going to get to know what really happened on Malachor? Nothing's been the same for any of us since, and we deserve to know why things have changed so much."
"Especially the kid," Zeb added. "He's been making changes all over. Have you seen his new look yet?"
"How could I?" Sabine replied. "Haven't really seen him since the day they came back from that planet."
"He was heading to our room when I came in here." Zeb said. "Maybe he's still there.."
"Well, if he is, then maybe I can get some answers out of him." Sabine replied before leaving her untouched meal for the personal quarters.
"Sabine." Hera called out but knowing that any response would only fall on deaf ears. For when the teenage Mando girl had her mind made up, there was nothing that could stop her.
Once she arrived at Ezra's room, she found that he'd locked the door. So, in her short-tempered, Mandalorian way, she began to aggressively pound on the door. At first, there was no response, but she was relentless. She wanted to know what happened that had fractured her team, her family. She wanted them all to get back together and start taking it to the Empire again.
After a few minutes of thumping on the door, finally, it slid open, but she was still in mid-swing when it did. And with no door to halt her momentum, her fist continued forward until a hand snatched her by the wrist.
Sabine's eyes widened when she finally registered what she saw, or rather who. Zeb hadn't been kidding when he mentioned Ezra having a new look. Gone was the long, floppy hair, replaced with a short, buzzed cut almost fitting for a soldier. He had definitely grown too. Now he looked like he could be an inch or so taller than her, but what caught her by surprise the most was that he wasn't as scrawny anymore. Whatever he'd been up to, strength training was clearly an integral part of his regiment.
Eventually, her eyes did make it back to his face, and it was then that she realized she'd been ogling one of her crewmates. In fact, she was pretty sure she'd even licked her lips as if she were anticipating something delicious.
"What is it, Sabine?" Ezra said, getting tired of waiting on her to speak up.
"Uh…" She initially stumbled, trying to regain her composure, but she couldn't seem to get her voice to obey her.
Ezra stood there in silence for another moment or two, but then his patience began to wear thin. He'd been listening and learning from the Sith Holocron in preparation for his next mission, and he wasn't going to lose anyone else like he did with Ashoka. He wouldn't let anyone get hurt again because of him either like with Kanan. With the help of the Sith Holocron, he'd already learned so much and could feel his power had grown exponentially.
It was only a matter of time before he'd be strong enough to protect everyone he cared about, but these interruptions couldn't continue if he wanted to accomplish his goals. Sabine was obviously tongue-tied, and he had more to learn. So he around in his room, his hand moving to shut the door behind him.
Sabine saw what Ezra was about to do, and knew if she didn't say anything, it would be her fault that she didn't get the answers she wanted. "What…what happened?" She blurted out.
Upon hearing her question, Ezra stopped abruptly, allowing the door to remain open. He knew what she was asking, but how would he be able to tell her that it was all his fault? Kanan, Ashoka, all of it. He knew what she would say. It would be the same thing anyone would say. That it wasn't his fault. That there wasn't anything he could've done. Back then that was the case, but now? Now he was stronger, he'd trained harder, and he'd learned more than ever before.
"Still with me, Sabine?' Hera asked, having moved closer to the teenager after Sabine seemed to be stuck in silence.
Sabine snapped back quickly from her thoughts as soon as Hera placed a concerned hand onto one of her shoulders. "I get it Hera," She said. "But I still think someone needs to knock some sense into him, and I'd like to be first in line for that task."
Hera cracked a small smile but knew she shouldn't encourage her teenage Mandalorian. "I…don't think that will be necessary, but you have my word that I'll speak with Ezra, and try to get him to tone it down on the ill-advised maneuvers going forward as soon as we get back from our next mission."
"What kind of mission," Sabine asked. "And shouldn't the mission lead be here to go over the details?"
"It's a supply run," Hera answered simply. "And no, Ezra isn't taking the lead on this one. His mission isn't taking place until after we return. But we still should go over the details when everyone else is here. So why don't you hunt down the boys while I fetch Zeb and Chop."
Sabine exited the Ghost, already having a pretty good idea where to find their two Jedi. Kanan and Ezra were usually in the same place that they'd been going to ever since Malachor. Sabine found Kanan first, exactly where she anticipated. He was just outside the Ghost, meditating with those little dokma creatures. While Ezra was a lot farther away from the ship, training like every day since he'd returned from Malachor.
Fortunately for her, the krykna kept everyone within the base's perimeter, so Ezra could only be out so far. But with Ezra's added training and the fact that he already had a knack for connecting with other creatures from early on, she believed it was only a matter of time before he figured out how to connect with the eight-legged monsters too.
The closer she got to Ezra's training spot, the more she could see of him being fired upon by multiple different training droids. He was jumping around, spinning, evading and deflecting shots with his lightsaber, but just as she reached his training area, the droids suddenly stopped firing. Then they levitated off the ground before being crushed by seemingly nothing, and with a swift move, Sabine was caught off guard when Ezra's laser sword was pointing directly at her throat.
"Sneaking up on me?" He asked as soon as he realized who it was that had interrupted his training session.
Not one second after Ezra powered down his lightsaber did Sabine throw a punch straight for his jaw, snapping his head violently back, and causing him to stumble before eventually regaining his balance. "What the hell, Mir'osik?" She angrily asked.
"You came up to me from behind," Ezra argued in defense. "What did you think would happen?
"I expected you to use your brain." Sabine explained.
Ezra wanted to respond, but it seemed like everything he'd been doing or saying these days seemed to only piss off those he was closest to, and especially so for his fiery Mandalorian friend. "What did you need?" He asked, cutting to the point instead.
Sabine hesitated to answer at first, as she was still angered at having a lightsaber pointed at her throat. A single punch to the face hadn't done much to calm her yet, but, she did have a reason for being there. If she told him now, she could leave, and that suited her just fine. "Hera wants everyone aboard to go over the missions that have been assigned." Sabine answered, and then turned to head back to the Ghost, not caring if Ezra followed or not.
What a jerk, she thought as she made her way back to the Ghost. In fact, she would almost prefer it if he went back to the constant, annoying flirting that he used to resort to whenever he was close by her. Almost anything would be better than this new version of Ezra. It wasn't hard to recognize or even understand how he might feel guilty. What with Kanan's injuries and Ashoka's apparent death, who couldn't. Survivor's guilt could do a great disservice if one allowed it.
But what Ezra was doing, what he was still putting himself through seemed excessive to say the least. He was turning himself into a completely different person, and this new Ezra was someone she found herself not wanting to be around. So, she decided that it would be best to put some distance between him and herself for a bit. If it wasn't mission-related, she was going to start giving him a wide berth.
"Were you able to find Kanan and Ezra?" Came Hera's voice after Sabine entered the Ghost's lounge area.
"Kanan hasn't come in yet?" Sabine answered. "I found him before I went after Ezra. He should've already been here."
Hera grumbled something that Sabine couldn't quite make out, but sounded something like "I wish he'd stop pulling away," before she turned back to Sabine. "And Ezra?"
"Right here." The boy in question answered for her, having just joined the crew.
The mission hadn't been too bad all things considered. There were no complications to deal with, which made it easier for Sabine to avoid Ezra for the most part. She was pleasantly surprised during the mission when she realized that he didn't seem to have any inclination to doing much in the way of making it difficult for her to keep her distance from him. He hadn't even tried approaching her one time to talk or help with carrying some of the heavier crates onto the ship. Still though, even with the physical distance between them, Sabine's thoughts remained somewhat fixated on Ezra and his recent behavior. His silence toward her was just one more item to add to the list of things that troubled her about her friend.
Ever since she'd met him, Ezra would've gone out of his way to strike up some sort of a conversation with her, even at the expense of putting his foot into his own mouth in the process. In the past, she wondered if he simply loved to hear his voice, but eventually she realized that the root of her annoyance with him came as a result of Ezra not really having the luxury of a lot of friends growing up. After all, he'd been on his own for most of his life before he met the Ghost crew, and it was likely that casual conversations were foreign to him.
As soon as the Ghost touched back down at Chopper base, Sabine met Zeb and Ezra in the cargo hold, and when the ramp lowered, they each began the lengthy process of unloading the newly acquired supplies. As they emptied around half of the cargo, Sabine realized that Ezra had stopped assisting the rest of them and disappeared on them.
Zeb didn't take long to notice either as he groaned and stretched his back. "Can't blame the kid for skipping out on unloading the rest of the supplies. Seems like that's all we do anymore. Can't believe I'm saying it, but I'd rather be facing some bucket heads than this."
"The crates aren't too heavy for you, are they big guy?" Sabine teased.
"We'll get back to missions where we have to engage the Empire again before you know it," Hera added as she joined them with yet another crate. "But you can't lose sight that even these supply missions are important to the cause."
"I know, I know Hera." Zeb conceded, not wanting to be lectured on the importance of providing supplies.
"Let's just get the rest of the crates off the ship, and then we can call it a day." Hera said as she headed back for another crate.
Zeb and Sabine trailed after her, and within the hour, they finished unloading all of the supplies. So with their tasks completed, Zeb made his way to the mess in search of food while Sabine went along with Hera to detail the mission report to Sato and the other leaders of their Rebel cell.
Along the way, they happened upon Kanan off to the side of the base, still, in the same kneeling position Sabine had found him in before they left. Hera paused for a moment, as she briefly thought about going over and speaking with Kanan, but he'd been so distant with every member of the Ghost crew for such a long time. She wished that he would believe he could still be useful to the cause, but each time she tried to talk to him about it, he would simply walk away. And she eventually got to the point where she couldn't continue putting herself in that position. She just had to wait until Kanan worked through his own insecurities.
Sabine happened to notice Hera's hesitation, and she instantly knew the cause behind it. Hera had thought about trying to talk to Kanan again, and that notion saddened Sabine. It was more evidence that her family was falling apart before her very eyes. She didn't know what she could do to fix it, but she wasn't about to stand idly by and let it happen.
First, she was going to help with a subtle push to get the parental figures of the crew moving forward again. "Any idea on when Kanan will be coming back on missions again?" She asked.
Hera stopped in her tracks upon hearing Sabine's question. She paused for a moment, and then looked over her shoulder to answer. "I don't know." She said with a sigh. "I wish I did."
"Ever thought about talking some sense into him like a Mandalorian?" Sabine half-joked.
"What, with a blaster?" Hera asked. "I'm not sure that would be a good idea against a Jedi."
"Well, something's got to happen to wake our Jedi crewmates up." Sabine said. "Maybe there's some sort of Jedi intervention we could set up for them?"
Hera actually chuckled at Sabine's suggestion. She couldn't even recall the last time she'd cracked a smile, and it seemed to take a large weight off of her shoulders. The answer as to what to do with Kanan and Ezra was still elusive, but for the first time in a long time, it didn't feel completely hopeless. They'd figure out what to do to make the crew whole again, and they would do it together.
Up next, Sabine works on how to get through to the old Ezra before he's completely gone forever.