I entered the command center in the middle of pulling on my work coat. I hadn't gotten any sleep at all last night, but once more we were called into the HQ before my alarm had even gone off.

An unidentified object had appeared above the streets in the heart of Tokyo-3. MAGI was withholding judgment on its status, but Misato knew better than to leave it to chance.

The pilots were already in their Evas, prepping for the launch as I finished making myself look presentable. Misato noticed me approaching, looking almost as disheveled as I did.

"So, you got a rude awakening too, did you?" Before I had a chance to answer, she turned back towards Dr. Akagi. "Get the Evas to launch the moment they're ready. If MAGI's not going to tell us what's out there, we have to at least get into an attacking position. As far as I'm concerned, there's no way this isn't Angel related."

As I walked up to Misato's shoulder, I finally had the chance to get a clear look at the creature on the monitor.

It was an orb; a hovering marble, coated in a black and white pattern, similar to that of a zebra. Yet, all it did was float. Maybe that's why MAGI was unsure, it didn't seem hostile. Every other Angel had made their intentions clear through attacking the city, or trying to enter the Geofront, but this one almost seemed… serene. In a way, it was mesmerizing, to watch it shimmer against the glare of the sun.

A few moments later, all three Evangelion units had reached the surface, and all three were momentarily put on standby.

"I've sent the target data to each of you. That's all we can tell you about it so far. Just approach and observe, there's no need to force a combat scenario with it in the city by rushing in guns blazing." The Major relayed everything we currently had, as limited as it was, to the pilots. "If possible, we'll see if we can get it to move, and if that strategy works, you can try to lead it out of the city safely."

There was silence amongst the trio as they went over the collected data.

"What a strange creature." I call it a creature, but I suppose there's no way to even tell if it's organic yet. "Puzzling how it isn't attacking though, don't you think?"

Misato's expression tensed up. "I'm hoping it won't do anything stupid. Tokyo-3's been through enough lately, the last thing we need is something leveling the city again at this time of year."

"Yeah, no kidding…" I trailed off. Something about it kept catching my eye. Like, a familiarity of some kind. I couldn't quite place my finger on it.

"Hey Misato, I have an idea!" Asuka's voice sweetly echoed from the comms system. "Why don't we let Shinji take the vanguard position this time around?" Misato's tense expression grew even more strained as the younger girl's voice morphed into a teasing tone.

"Asuka, that's not the intention of this mission. All I need is for the three of you to get as close as you can without alerting it!"

Asuka's voice responded, now sounding even more obnoxious. What was she getting at by doing this? "Oh, but that's not fair, Misato! Surely the great Shinji deserves to have his overwhelmingly good performance put on full display! What better target than a stationary one! It's practically BEGGING to be snuffed out… unless he doesn't have the guts!"

I gritted my teeth. What the hell, Asuka? "Is now really the time for this?" I called out, but all I heard was Shinji scoff.

"If she wants me to put on a show, then I'll do it."

"Shinji! Stick to the plan, we don't need t–" Misato yelled at the young boy, but he cut her off.

"It's fine, Misato, Lieutenant. I've got the experience and you both said it yourself: I'm number one." At that moment, Unit-01 began moving up closer to the target, armed with a semi-automatic handgun. "Fighting is a man's job, and it's up to me to prove it by taking the lead!"

"That's… That's…" The Major clenched her fists as Shinji continued moving up, his sudden shift in personality making quite the stir amongst the command center. Asuka and Rei both began moving as per the outlined formation, albeit now those spots as well seemed to be moving far closer to the target than Misato had envisioned. "Why is this falling apart so quickly? Why are they just ignoring me!?"

"...this was bothering Asuka all night, I'm certain of it now." Damn that girl. How can she be so obvious with her emotions one moment and so clandestine with them the next? I should've talked with her more about it instead of leaving it in the parking lot like I did. Damn me as well!

"If they get through this, and they better, we'll give them the harshest talking to of their lives!" It was obvious Misato was trying to play to her job as the commander in this situation, even moreso right now with Gendo absent, but looking at the way her arms were crossed and how her eyes didn't break with the screen, it was just as clear that her worry was growing rapidly. She wasn't the only one.

As Unit-02 moved throughout the maze-like streets of the city, its umbilical cable snagged on a building. "Ugh, scheiße." As Asuka cursed under her breath, she unlatched the cable from the Eva's back, quickly scanning the area for another charging station.

"Are you two in position yet?" Shinji questioned with an unusual amount of annoyance in his voice. It was quite jarring to see him get such a confidence boost from his scores, but I suppose his frequent squabbling with Asuka might be making this performance far more cathartic for him than it really should be, given the situation. I understand you're itching to get a one-up on her, Shinji, but this isn't a game…

Asuka barked back at him in a mocking tone. "No one said you had to wait up, asshole! By all means, start anytime you want! I'm sure we'll get by, even if we're nowhere near as strong as you!"

"Asuka, that's enough! Concentrate!" I yelled, earning a few looks from the operators around us. Misato didn't seem like she had even heard me, her eyes still locked to Shinji's position.

"Wha– Lieutenant, but I was only…" The redhead growled instead of finishing her sentence, finding the charging port she had been looking for. Removing the plug from its holster, she inserted it into the Eva's back, ending the backup power's countdown.

"We don't even know what that thing's capable of! Stop fooling around and follow your orders, dammit!" It was too early and I was too tired to keep my cool right now. My headache was starting to flare up again as well. I clenched my jaw as I began to feel ill.

"...Y-Yeah, I know. You don't need to remind me!" Asuka responded, moving her Eva ahead once more.

I let out a sigh. "Sorry, Major. I didn't mean to make a scene."

Misato shook her head. "She's your responsibility, so you're in charge of keeping her reined in. Don't worry about it." Her eyes were still locked on Shinji's location, making it obvious my outbursts were the least of her concerns.

Without warning, before the other two Evas were even positioned properly, Unit-01 raised its pistol and fired multiple shots at the object.

As soon as the shots left the barrel, the object disappeared.

For just a moment, everyone in the command center stared at the screen in disbelief, collectively unsure of what we had just witnessed. Why did Shinji just attack like that?

"It… just disappeared?" Dr. Akagi asked the room, the shock ringing true in her voice, yet the only thing that dared to answer her was the blaring of the MAGI's alarm.

Pattern Blue. This was indeed an Angel.

My entire world slowed to a crawl. I heard people around me begin calling out, Misato yelled for Shinji, Shinji screamed, but what I was seeing nearly tuned out everything else around me.

A black shadow stretched underneath Unit-01, enveloping its legs as well as every building in the area around it. The Eva lowered its pistol to ground level and fired the remaining shots of its magazine into the darkness; an action that didn't so much as make a ripple in its surface. I could feel my stomach churning, Shinji's screams for help echoing through the command center making it grow exponentially worse.

This was it. This was the shadow in my dreams. It had to be, and now… and now…

Slowly, Unit-01 was pulled underneath the surface. The Angel had now reappeared in the sky above where the Eva was sinking, just floating as it had been, unbothered by the boy writhing in fear below it.

"What are you doing, idiot! Pull yourself out!"

"Eject the entry plug, get Shinji out of there!"

"It's no use! None of the signals are reaching it!"

Unit-01 disappeared beneath the shadow's mire, and with it, Shinji's screams ceased as well. The silent air was chilling before Misato called out her orders.

"Damn it all! Asuka, Rei, hurry and get into position to mount a rescue!"

"Brainless fool! Just how cocky did he get from those test scores!?"

Unit-00's rifle firing temporarily snapped me back, nearly causing me to lose my balance. The shots passed through the space where the Angel had just been, causing it to vanish again.

"Asuka! The ground!" I yelled instinctively. The shadow now stretching to Unit-02's position, Asuka cursed and had her Eva jump into the air, narrowly escaping joining Shinji in the shadow's embrace by grabbing a nearby building. This would prove to be only a momentary solution, as the shadow began devouring all the buildings above it.

My stomach felt like it was on fire as a cold sweat began breaking out all over my body. This was too much. Why did this have to become a reality!?

Unit-02 moved further up the slowly descending building by using its progressive knife as a grip. The whole area before Asuka was becoming a black wasteland now. "This is insane, what the hell…" She whispered. "Is this all because he jumped the gun!? What kind of arrogant–"

"Unit-00 and Unit-02, I order you both to retreat." The Major's despondent voice cut Asuka's irritated musings off.

Asuka sounded like she was about to respond before Rei spoke over her. "Shinji's still inside. There has to be…"

"I said retreat!" Misato's voice was more stern now, but still clearly in pain from what had occurred mere moments ago to her housemate. This was an impossible decision, but she was prioritizing the safest choice. "That's an order, both of you. Be careful when making your way back to the ground…"

The monitor still produced the image of the shadow lining the streets. As the two Evas retreated to a safe area, the buildings still left inside the shadow's reach sank until they disappeared. I watched as each fell out of sight.

I couldn't handle this.
So familiar, so haunting.
The exact same scene I had been witnessing, experiencing for weeks.

And now Shinji was a part of it too. So quickly he disappeared, silenced in an instant. All that was left was the umbilical cable still being sucked down into the darkness, but no one knew right now if anything on the other end of the cable still existed.

I almost lost Asuka too.

I couldn't take it.

I collapsed onto my knees, vomiting into my hand.

Knowing damn well everyone was staring at me, I remained in that position; kneeling in my stomach's meager contents, refusing to move… lest my eyes come across that view of that shadow again.

"Damn it all, don't I have enough to worry about already? Didn't I tell you to take care of yourself?" Misato was scolding me. It's not that I didn't deserve it, but I could tell she was mostly just trying to keep her mind off of what might be happening to Shinji beneath the surface. She was certainly right about me not taking care of myself though. My head was still pounding.

Unit-01's umbilical cable was able to be retracted from the shadowy field intact, though unfortunately the other end had disconnected from the Evangelion. This gave us one extremely important piece of information though: the things within the shadow were simply removed from our dimension, not destroyed outright. This didn't make the situation any less difficult to solve, but it meant Shinji was probably still alive.

Or at least he would be for the next few hours, until the Evangelion's life support functions ceased.

I sipped on a bottle of water as we were transported to the makeshift command center that was set atop a building next to the shadow. Misato had been out with the recovery forces earlier while I was getting examined for my sudden sickness, but she returned to collect me as soon as they ascertained what was happening with the umbilical cable. The Angel also hadn't moved in hours, and MAGI was back to reading it as non-hostile. As long as it wasn't threatened, the shadow seemed like it would stay where it was.

The UN forces had gotten involved now, setting up a perimeter around where the shadow's edges were, effectively wrenching control of the situation from NERV's hands.

"...Sorry, it's just–"

"Save it." Misato just stared off into the distance, towards the Angel. "It doesn't matter. The check-up you did showed you're just experiencing exhaustion. There's bigger problems here that can't just be solved by a good night's rest, you understand?"

I nodded. "Of course." I hesitated to bring up the dream still, even if the awful feelings had passed for now. Misato was right, I couldn't dwell on that. Shinji was in trouble and he was on a timer. I'm not that much help, especially as I am right now, but I need to be here for support, at the very least.

That's all I can do. That's all I've ever been able to do.

There were also Asuka's actions that needed to be addressed, but I would come to that bridge as soon as I met up with her.

As soon as I exited the transport helicopter, I walked around the rooftop to look for Asuka. Unit-00 and Unit-02 had been on standby since they were given the order to retreat, but were just now given clearance to disembark and enter our makeshift base for R&R while a plan of attack was crafted.

Making a beeline to the corner of the building the Evas had stopped next to, I caught her stretching just off of the entry plug's ejection platform. She noticed me approaching and smiled, or rather, she smiled for just a moment before noticing the scowl on my face.

"Asuka. Come down here." She looked perplexed at the serious tone of my voice.

"What's with the face? I've had to just sit in my Eva, twiddling my thumbs for hours because of this, and you're gonna give me attitude the moment I get to take a water break?" The redhead descended the steps of the platform as I finished my approach.

"I'm sorry, but…" I brought my face just inches away from her to keep my voice as contained as possible. "What in the hell were you thinking? What was your plan?" Asuka's face screwed up.

"What are you talking about!? What did I do wrong? I followed orders, didn't I? Unlike some pe–"

My voice raised slightly as I struggled to keep calm. "Don't you dare! You were the one who kicked up a fuss with Shinji's score, not all the blame is on him here! If you had a problem with all that, then you could've talked to me last night instead of pulling… whatever the hell that stunt was! Now Shinji might be–"

"I didn't tell him to go shooting off like a fucking idiot before we were even in place! It's not my fault he got impatient!"

"Only because you kept goading him into taking point! The plan was for everyone to stick together and observe, Asuka! We had no idea what that thing was going to do!" Our voices were becoming quite loud now, prompting Rei to begin walking over from where she was standing a few meters away.

"Well we know now, don't we!?" Asuka's refusal to accept any blame for this was boiling my blood. I was exhausted, not in my right mind, so I was feeling ill again thanks to this. I bit my lip in frustration. "Shinji was the one who rushed in. Shinji was the one who ignored all the orders. There's no way this is my fault, Lieutenant, so I don't get your angle! You even yelled at me in the middle of an operation! Super unprofessional!"

"I yelled at you because you were stepping out of line! It's my job to reel you back in!"

"Oh, so now I'm just part of your job!?" Asuka stuck her nose up as I gritted my teeth. She knew damn well that wasn't the point I was trying to make here. "Shinji was far more out of line than I was anyway, and Misato barely raised her voice against him. You didn't see me call out 'look at what I can do, fighting is a man's job' just to mess up and start screaming 'oh no, Misato, save me! Save me!' like a baby! If he wasn't certain he had what it takes to shoot down an Angel by himself, then MAYBE he should've just sucked it up and waited! But nooo, not big Shinji! One taste of stepping over my head and he couldn't help hims–"

The sound of Rei's palm suddenly cracking across Asuka's cheek echoed throughout the rooftop base, silencing any conversations that had been occurring around us. Asuka staggered back a step.

"Is the only thing that matters to you being praised? You would sooner let an ally perish than face criticism for your actions?" Rei's placid, cold voice struck a chord in the redhead, who was now holding her cheek in shock.

"...you bitch." She forced out through clasped teeth. "Stupid doll doesn't know how to converse properly, so her first action is to strike me!? Stop putting this all on me! I didn't–"

"...I didn't do anything to warrant being hit." I held an icepack to Asuka's cheek as we sat away from the rest of NERV's operation on a couple of boxes. "I really didn't. I really, really didn't. I hope the first child gets court martialed for this." Rei held nothing back, leaving a noticeable welt on Asuka's cheek. Misato and a few others had seen the commotion, helping me break the two up before Asuka really lost it.

"Misato's having a talk with her right now." I had calmed down, but Asuka was still in high tension, as she had been for the last half hour since it occurred. "She really did a number on you though."

"Shut up."

I don't think she's looked at me in the eyes since either.

"You know I can't do that. Just let me pry a little, I mean, what else are we going to do just sitting here?" I chucked, but Asuka was not having any of it.

"...why did you pull me away, anyway? Wasn't Rei the one who hit me?" In my defense, that was more a precaution than anything. I had no idea how she was going to react to being struck, and I wasn't too keen on letting the two of them kill each other over this. "What, did you think I was going to try and get revenge? Do you think I'm that petty?"

"Okay, that's a few too many questions for me at once. I thought I was going to be the one prying." Again I laughed, trying to lighten the mood a little bit. Asuka didn't budge. "...I guess I just figured you'd appreciate not being in that situation anymore."

"You were the one who made it that situation, though!"

The sudden raising of her voice startled me in the close proximity.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry. I'm not feeling too hot today. I know that's no excuse, but…" Her head was still adamantly turned away from me. "...I was worried, and angry, and I came at you with all that at the front of my mind. We could've talked it out properly, yet all I did was accuse. You didn't deserve that. I'm really glad you're safe, and I just wish we could say the same for Shinji."

She took a few moments before responding, seemingly playing things over in her head and letting the tension in the air slack off a bit.

"...I'm not completely safe with that blue-haired psycho running around off her leash, apparently." She answered under her breath.

"Well, I don't agree with Rei's method, but you were just running your mouth."

Asuka whipped her head around to face me finally, glaring at me. I expected as much, so I made a wry smile.

"So what, you're saying that's enough to let me get slapped?"

"Didn't I just say I didn't agree with how she did it? Besides, it's not like Rei's going unpunished here." I lifted the ice pack from her cheek to check how bad it was. Still red, but it probably wasn't going to bruise thankfully. That would've set her off even worse for sure. "Thing is… you'll likely still be punished as well."

She opened her mouth to say something, but just turned away again. I placed the ice pack back on her cheek. Her arms crossed after a little while, and then her foot began tapping on the ground.

"Maybe…" She spoke softly at first. "So, what if I did mess up? What do I do about that? Do I go to Misato and say 'it won't happen again, boss!' or…" As she trailed off, she could tell I was going to laugh again. "And don't laugh, idiot! I'm serious! I'm… not really sure of how to deal with this…"

"Well, you could always apologize. I think that's what most people would do."

"Apologize!? For what, I didn't tell Shinji to go ballistic."

Asuka slouched backwards, letting the ice pack clatter to the ground. It was mostly water now anyway, and her cheek was going to be fine from what I could tell, so I just left it there.

"I don't really want to get into all that again, Asuka. Just know that admitting you made a mistake could go a long way." I sighed. "Not that you can really apologize to Shinji right now though."

I sat back further on the box next to her, and we both looked out towards the side of Tokyo-3 the Angel hadn't touched.

"...do you think he's dead?"

"I hope not." I thought about how it felt in my dreams to be lost in the confusing mire of the shadows. "No one should have to go out like that. No one."

She pulled her knees up to her chin. "...who do I apologize to if he does die?" I appreciated that she was at least giving the idea a little thought, albeit in a macabre fashion.

"...that's tricky." It was weird to consider that as a possibility, I didn't want to touch that topic at all, but… it wasn't impossible. Briefly passing my mind was the thought of my sister. When I called her to apologize, what would I've done if she had passed? How would I've dealt with those feelings? Maybe I wouldn't have been able to do anything. Maybe that's because it's just too difficult, too heavy a thing to think about until someone arrives at that situation themselves. Until they're faced with that reality. "You'd probably just have to live with that. Everyone would find their own ways to get through those feelings eventually, but without a proper outlet… Without someone to physically forgive you, or to at least hear your apology, you'd have no choice but to hold that feeling of guilt."

That's what I did, and it ate me from the inside out for years. Asuka tightened her grip around her legs.

"Well, if that's the case, then that idiot better not die."

As things stood, Dr. Akagi was able to determine that the floating orb we had been focusing on wasn't the Angel's real body. The Angel itself was the shadow that was so thin it moved along the ground's surface, using an inverted AT Field to retain its seemingly impenetrable form. That inverted AT Field was creating a Dirac Sea between the Angel and the ground, a vacuum space that was not limited to the confines of our dimension's properties. The space was razor thin, yet it fit buildings, vehicles… and Unit-01, without any signs of them on the outside.

Then how were we to kill it?

Apparently Dr. Akagi had also brought up the plan of forcing the shadow open with the remaining Eva's AT Fields, creating a negative space within its core for a split second, long enough to drop hundreds of N2 mines within it. It wasn't a surefire plan, and despite the lengths that we'd be going to in order to pull it off, the result would only be the salvaging of Unit-01. Shinji's life would most likely be lost in the process. Dr. Akagi had brought this up to Misato during my time away with Asuka, and from the sounds of it, the two had a falling out because of it.

That didn't surprise me to hear. Dr. Akagi's aloofness towards the pilots had been annoying me as well, and now she wasn't even being subtle about it. All that mattered here were results, and the Eva's recovery was the only route that was necessary in this scenario.

Afterwards, Dr. Akagi took control of the situation, and began setting things up for her plan, despite Misato's condemnation. It was going to take a few hours, nothing would be ready until dawn.

During that time, we managed to find Misato, leaning against the railing of the rooftop. She was just staring out towards the Angel. I couldn't imagine the kind of things going through her head right now.

"Major?" My voice snapped her out of the trance-like state she was in. She turned quickly towards me.

"Oh, Matsuo. You shouldn't sneak up on people like that." Her eyes glanced towards Asuka. "How's your cheek?" Misato spoke to her with surprising curtness. Asuka just clenched her teeth before answering, obviously picking up on the same feeling I was.

"It won't slow me down. The ice helped."

Misato sighed. "Listen I… I'm really not trying to make this situation worse. You know how things are right now." She turned to look at the city again over her shoulder. "...you heard about Ritsuko's plan, right? It's… callous. What does it matter if we get the Evangelion back if Shinji's…"

"I can't accept it either, but the chain of command here has been disrupted." Misato bit her lip at my words. "There's not much we can do, right? We can't get close to it without getting sucked in, and we don't have the time to experiment with different approaches. I'm sorry to say, but it seems like the only thing left we can offer is praying Shinji does survive…" It didn't really seem like anything I was saying comforted her much, but I really didn't know what else to say. There was no way to reassure her, no way to ensure Shinji's survival. That was just what we were being faced with.

"I…" Asuka spoke up, causing both Misato and I to look towards her. She hesitated for a moment before continuing with her statement. "I'm not trying to make this situation worse either. I get it, I messed up. We can't keep standing around here feeling like trash, that's not helping anything! The doctor's plan might be a shot in the dark, but at least we can actually do something, right? If we just leave things like they are until we figure something else out, that idiot's certainly going to die in there!"

Both Misato and myself just stared at Asuka for a few seconds.

"...Asuka." The Major's voice had lost the layer of harshness that she spoke with before.

"What? I'm doing this for me. If he wants to run off and get himself killed, then he can go right ahead, but he is not doing so while I'm left in a position to be blamed! That's all!" In a huff, seemingly trying to mask her own worries, Asuka spun on her heel and walked away.

"I don't know enough about all these things." Misato spoke suddenly as soon as Asuka was out of earshot. "There's too much not being made clear. The Evangelions, the Second Impact, and… There's just far too many secrets. Ritsuko won't tell me anything."

I looked at her puzzled. "...why are you saying all that to me?"

"Because I know I can trust you. You're being kept in the dark too, right?"

My eyes narrowed as the sun began peaking over the horizon. "It is annoying, but I've tried to put those thoughts to rest." It did still irk me, in the back of my mind. "Dr. Akagi has shot me down a couple times now when I tried poking around." I couldn't figure out what all the secrecy could possibly be benefitting.

"...I'm worried that sooner or later, something bad's going to happen, and when it does we're going to be cast adrift at sea while all the people in the know get to rise above. Every single one of us will be expendable."

That made my body cold despite the sun rays now hitting us.

It's because I knew she was right. I could see it as well, all too clearly.

Begrudgingly, we had to accept the situation as it was.

Dr. Akagi's plan was the only solution we had, regardless of how risky it was. Luckily, it did seem like Asuka's words gave Misato a little bit more hope than she had before, which surprised me. I didn't think she had it in her.

It did seem like Dr. Akagi was at least trying to go as fast as she could with the preparation. No one here wanted Shinji's death on their hands, of course.

There was only going to be one shot at this, and the operation was nearing its start time. I watched Rei wordlessly walk towards Unit-00's entry plug, and while she did so, I noticed Asuka eying her.

"...you could always apologize to her too."

"I'd rather puke."

The Evangelions were in position. The N2 mines were being deployed. Everything was in place to start Dr. Akagi's operation. However, just before she was able to order the AT Fields to increase, the ground began rumbling.

"What the hell, we haven't even done anything yet!" Asuka yelled over the comms.

Before our eyes, the shadows across the ground began cracking like glass. The more they shattered, the more ground began rising up. The Angel's AT Field was splitting at the seams, the dimension inside was being viciously spit back into our reality.

"Status report!" Misato called out, taking the moment to put herself back in command.

"It's hard to say, but every scale we have is going haywire!" Maya responded.

Misato's face grew worried. "Is it… Shinji? Is he doing something?"

"That's impossible!" Dr. Akagi was quick to try and cut that thought process off. "Unit-01 has been on a drained battery for hours! There's no way it could be–"

As if the cosmos had heard her dismissal of the possibility, the Angel's orb began shifting violently, like it was an egg about to hatch. We all watched the monitor in horror as it quickly began losing its luster.

Whatever was inside wanted out, and it was coming.

Towards the western edge of its form, a noticeable lump was forming. It pushed out, further and further, until the flesh gave way. A spray of scarlet ichor painted the area beneath it, replacing the blackened streets with its deep color.

An arm had broken its way outside. Then two. The arms retracted slightly to grab ahold of the opening it had made. With a mighty push, the orb deflated, splitting straight down the middle. Like a birth, Unit-01's body exited the giant wound, covered in the same gore that was flooding Tokyo-3's street level.

It let out a horrendous shriek.

What…

Its jaw was wide open, the sounds coming from it were like an animal. It forced its way out of the sphere, shredding the remnants of its body as it did so. Unit-01 crashed into the ground, its weight crushing the road it landed on.

As it stood, the sun gleaming off of its crimson-soaked body, I couldn't figure out how to feel. There was no eruption of a blazing will to fight from deep in my chest like the first time I witnessed Unit-01 like this. There was no fanfare, no applause. Just everyone in the command center staring at it in horrified silence.

What the hell is an Evangelion? That question re-entered my mind, and yet, I still had no answers. Just more and more questions.

Shinji was alive.

Barely, but he was alive.

Misato chose not to punish him after all. Same with Asuka, and same with Rei. The situation was too complex, tangled with emotions, to divvy out proper punishments. In a way, the consequences of everyone's actions had proven to be sufficient enough on their own anyway.

So, I sat outside Shinji's hospital room with Asuka. He was still unconscious, but I had decided we would come down here anyway.

She still had to apologize, after all.

"You haven't spoken much since we got here." I noted softly, laying my head against the wall.

"...yeah, I guess there's not really much to talk about." I could tell Asuka wanted to say something else, but she seemed intent on keeping it in. I had noticed her acting like that since the fight ended, as little of a fight as it ended up being.

"You know, I've gotten pretty good at picking up when you're lying to me." Such a casually spoken accusal caused her head to turn at me, an angry look on her face, but it faded quickly as she realized she just proved my point. "So, what's on your mind? We got nothing but time here.

"You're going to think it's stupid. I mean, who cares anyway."

"I'd like to think I care." I gave her a smile, but she returned a pout.

"...no, it's dumb."

"We won't know for sure unless you tell me."

Asuka began wringing her hands together. "...do you know what an Evangelion is?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Not quite, I guess. They're… something." I'd love to know the answer myself. The real answer.

"Certainly not a robot."

"I think that's fair to say, yeah."

"So… if they aren't a robot, then that would mean they're…" I could see where she was going with this.

"...biological."

"Yeah, but… how? What Unit-01 did to that Angel, the screech it made. It didn't look normal, like anything I've ever seen an Eva do. Is my Eva going to do that?"

Was Asuka scared by that? Is that the feeling she's contending with here? As for if her Eva was capable of something like that, I thought back to the Angel a couple months ago, the one that descended from the atmosphere. At the end of that fight, Unit-02 reactivated with an empty battery to deal the final blow. That would lead me to assume every Evangelion unit is capable of that sort of performance… meaning they're all…

The door in front of us opened up, and Rei exited, cutting our conversation off. The girl looked at me, expressionless, and spoke flatly, as she always does. "He's awake." Just as soon as she appeared, she left, walking down the hallway towards the elevators.

The door to Shinji's room closed. Asuka didn't budge from glaring at Rei's form walking away.

"We're not leaving until you go in."

She stood up abruptly. "Okay. Okay, fine." Now her eyes were fixed on the door in front of her, her legs still not moving. "What do you want me to even say!?"

I scratched the back of my head. "Just… start by apologizing for stepping out of line. You do know how to apologize, don't you?" Her cheeks turned red at my teasing.

"Of course I know! Geez." Asuka quickly approached the door with a single step, taking in a deep breath. "He better be grateful for this or he'll wish he died." She quickly added under her breath. Her hand balled itself into a fist instead of reaching for the control panel.

"Asuka. Apology. Now."

She kept telling me for the rest of the afternoon how embarrassing it was. Apparently, Shinji apologized as well, and then she got mad at him for trying to make the situation about him, and then he got angry that she was berating him in a sickbed, and… Well, you get the picture.

If there's anything else to take away from today, it's these things.

I need to take better care of myself. Nightmares or no, I can't just let my health lie. That doesn't serve anyone well, and only makes me a liability.
Dr. Akagi is only an ally as far as the Evangelions are concerned. Past that, I can't trust her. I certainly can't rely on her to make a decision of human preservation if Unit-01 is compromised, and that may apply to the other two as well. I'm not sure yet.
And finally, I know nothing. Actually, if Misato knows nothing, and I know less than her, then I know less than nothing. Worse still, I don't know how to learn. There's no way for me to get more information. It's frustrating.

At least it was soon Christmastime.

Author's Note : Hey all! Hope you're still enjoying the story! These were a tricky two chapters to write back-to-back, but I think I managed to cover everything I wanted to. More departures from canon are occurring, how exciting! Though, it does seem like every step forward with Asuka ends up resulting in an equal step back, doesn't it? Like, her outer shell and her inner feelings repel one another. While one part of her becomes positively influenced by her surroundings, another part drags itself back to baseline. A tricky girl indeed haha

What is an Evangelion? What's still plaguing Asuka deep down? Was Matsuo's nightmare a coincidence, or a premonition he failed to pick up on? Ah, so many questions; some will get answers, some you'll be left to ponder on your own.

The next few chapters will be devoid of any Angel fights, just as a forewarning. We're going to take some time and let the characters enjoy their holidays. It should be a lot of fun. Stay tuned, and have yourselves a good one!