Chapter 16: Crunch Time

Things are falling apart for the young couple, and the time has come for someone to do something or risk losing their relationship before it even got started.

Sabine finished pushing the last crate of recently attained proton bombs into the storage area for AP-5 to add to their inventory. She breathed a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat from her brow, her task complete. It'd been a long day for her, adding to what had been seemingly longer days and weeks if she included the ongoing struggles she'd been dealing with concerning what had been a blossoming relationship with Ezra.

After her undercover mission on Skystrike Base to extract defecting pilots such as Wedge, Ezra and she had spent increasingly less and less time together. She hoped that the issue Ezra had with others trying to flirt with her would just go away after some time to cool off, but just like the occasional suitor for her affections, it never stopped. Wedge had at least seemed to take the hint that she wasn't. He'd virtually stopped flirting and just tried to be friends with her, but Ezra just didn't seem to see it that way.

He'd remained angry about the flirting but it was more than just that. He also stopped reporting his grievances about it to her entirely, but there was no denying that he was simply remaining quiet. He'd become just as tired of arguing as she had, but neither one was willing to bend on their stance. So, to keep things from getting worse, there was a sort of silent agreement to keep their distance for the time being. It wasn't a breakup, but it was certainly beginning to feel that way. Something, or rather someone was going to have to give soon. Otherwise, their relationship was doomed.

Sabine had been considering her options ever since that fight. At one point, she even tried upping the ante physically, thinking that offering more that way would show Ezra how serious she was about them, but he knew two things about her denied attempts. Firstly, that she wouldn't be ready under normal circumstances, and secondly, that she was using it as a workaround instead of addressing the issue head-on. That caused him to become angrier with her for throwing herself at him and he stopped talking to her entirely if they were ever alone together.

The rest of the Ghost crew pretty much knowing about them had helped in at least giving her some time to spend with Ezra, and during those times he even acted like things were fine, but it was purely an act. It was a good act though, and she thought they'd managed to fool everyone else, but only until Kanan cornered her the night before.

"Can I have a word with you?" Kanan asked as he stepped in front of Sabine before she could head into her quarters.

"Sure," she responded and followed him into his room.

Once inside, Kanan gestured for Sabine to sit on his bunk as he knelt on the platform chair beside it. Her mind began to race as she waited for him to say whatever was on his mind. Was something going on with Ezra? Was it about their relationship? Was he going to tell her that they needed to follow the old Jedi mandates around attachments, and try forcing her to break things off?

"As you know, Ezra's been struggling with coming back from his slide into the Dark Side," Kanan said. "This isn't to say that he hasn't been making progress, but I'm starting to be concerned with him. Up to this point, he may have done everything I've asked of him, but lately, whenever he tries to let go of his anger, there's just so much more that remains. Then, he comes back to train the next day, and there's even more than the day before. It's felt like we've been taking one step forward and two steps back and if it keeps up, I'm afraid we're going to lose him to the Dark Side."

Sabine's eyes widened at Kanan's words. Yes, Ezra and she had been struggling as a couple, but he always seemed alright otherwise. "Please tell me that you didn't bring me in here to tell me that I'm, that we're about to lose him." She pleaded. She had no idea that things were so bad for Ezra, and she didn't want to lose him if she could help it.

"We can still save him," Kanan replied. "As I said, Ezra's done everything that I've asked of him, and he knows now that the Dark Side isn't the answer. That's actually one valuable lesson he's learned from Maul. He's seen how the path down the Dark Side is a lonely one in the end. He confirmed that to me when he brought up how Maul said that he'd lost everything. Ezra doesn't want to lose us, and you especially."

"So, you're not going to ask me to stop seeing him?" Sabine asked.

"No," Kanan answered with a half-smile. "I'm sure you recall my telling you before about Ezra's fear of losing anyone being a possible path to his falling, and I also told you before that I couldn't ask you to stop seeing him because it would be hypocritical of me. What I brought you here to say now is that it's not just his fear but his anger as well that's becoming an issue. He hasn't told me much about what's going on between you two, just that things have become stressful between the two of you over the last few weeks. So, I was hoping perhaps that you'd be willing to fill in the gaps. If I know what's going on, I'll have a better chance of helping him through it."

What Kanan said made sense and he certainly knew more about Ezra when it came to the Force than anyone else could. If he truly needed information to help, she had to try and do what she could. For Ezra's sake. "He's been angry about my not wanting to share with everyone that we're dating," Sabine said. "He told me that he's tired of all the hiding and that his patience is running out. But I've just never been the type to share about my personal life, Kanan, and if not for Maul's big mouth when he was holding us captive, then you'd still be the only one who knew for sure about us."

Kanan gave her a look and rubbed the back of his neck in a very Ezra-like manner. "Well," he started to say.

"You didn't tell anyone about us, did you?" Sabine jumped interrupting him. She knew Ezra wouldn't tell anyone because he didn't want to risk giving her a reason to end things between them, but Kanan could have blabbed to Hera at the very least.

"I didn't say anything but Hera's more perceptive than you'd think," Kanan explained. "She told me about her belief that there was something brewing between the two of you. But she only brought it up because she was concerned about Ezra and his using the Sith Holocron. If not for that, she'd never talk about someone's personal life, even to me."

"Okay," Sabine said, trying to calm her nerves. Regardless, both Hera and Zeb would have a pretty good idea about them thanks to Maul, so it shouldn't have mattered if Kanan and Hera did talk about them, even though Kanan did have a justification for doing so. And, he didn't have to admit anything because of Maul, but he still did. She figured he was simply being honest with her and she needed to be thankful for that. "So, everyone on the Ghost knows that there's something between Ezra and I, but no one else on base does."

"I believe so, aside from the random rumors that happen with anyone who likes to gossip," Kanan said before he once again pressed for answers. "So, why is Ezra still upset about it then?"

"Well," Sabine said before hesitating a bit. She really didn't want to go over the details, but what choice did she have if she wanted to help Ezra. It would be best to just rip the bandage off because there was no avoiding it. "There have been some guys who've shown interest in me, just like always, but it's different now because of what's going on between Ezra and myself. I still haven't said anything to these random guys to encourage the flirting and I definitely haven't reciprocated, but that hasn't been enough in Ezra's opinion. I told him that I haven't done anything because it might reveal that we're dating, but he doesn't think that matters."

Kanan hummed for a moment as he considered her words. "Do you not think there's a way you could explain to these people that you're not interested without revealing that you're seeing someone?"

"I could but what if they ask why?" She asked. "Besides, thanks to Gavyn and Wini, everyone already jumps right to the conclusion that Ezra and I dating at anything that potentially points in that direction."

"I thought that went away when Gavyn was transferred up to the carrier," Kanan replied.

"Actually, at first it made things worse," Sabine said. "But that was mostly because it was Hera who issued the order. It took about a week after that of no one seeing anything going on between Ezra and I before things finally started to die down. But each time I tried to deter someone from flirting with me like I used to do with Ezra, those karking rumors would flare up again. So, I stopped saying anything at all to any of them and so far everyone has gotten the point that I'm not interested in them."

"But to Ezra, that's not enough," Kanan reiterated.

"No," she confirmed.

"Then you have to ask yourself something, Sabine," Kanan said.

"What's that?"

"Since you know in Ezra's opinion, doing nothing isn't good enough anymore, are you willing to show him how serious you are about the two of you?" Kanan asked rhetorically. "Because if you're not, then I may have to ask that you end things, for Ezra. I won't be able to help him if he keeps getting what he believes are mixed signals from you."

"Mixed signals?" Sabine parroted in disbelief.

"Sometimes inaction can say as much as actions, Sabine," Kanan explained. "Ezra's unhappy, and the two of you as a couple are beginning to crumble as a result. I understand that you don't like the rumors or having to deal with the invasion of privacy, but they're always going to be there, even if it is through no fault of your own. You have to accept that there are things outside of your control. You can't control the rumors spreading unless you're willing to let everyone know that you are with Ezra and not available. If that still isn't an option for you, then you need to ask yourself what you can do to help resolve the conflict that's growing between the two of you. Because if you don't and just allow things to stay the same, I'm not sure how much longer your relationship will survive."

Allowing things to stay the same was not going to be an option. It would surely be the end of them as a couple and Kanan was right. It was going to fall on her to resolve the growing conflict between them.

Sabine knew where Ezra had been spending his time while he wasn't on the Ghost. Over the last few days, he'd set up a sort of isolated area with some crates where he could just sit, meditate, or whatever on his own. She'd spotted him there on a few occasions but made sure to give him the space and privacy she believed he sought. She wanted him to have that space where he could just be and didn't want to push him until he was ready to talk to her. A part of her had hoped that giving him alone time would change his stance on their situation, but his alone time only seemed to solidify his opinion around their situation.

She knew that she needed to do something before it was too late, and on this occasion, she after her impromptu discussion with Kanan, decided that she would interrupt Ezra's personal time so that they could talk. Being officially finished with her assignments for the day, she made her way over to his crated seat. As she reached the point where she could lay eyes on his isolated space, she discovered that he was already there, but he wasn't alone. Wini was there, announcing herself to him as she approached, forcing Sabine to duck behind a separate crate that was still close enough to listen in and watch.

"Hey Wini," he replied, putting on a fake smile. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, it has," she agreed as she stopped in front of him before ultimately moving over to sit next to him. "I've been keeping busy in the piloting program they started up under Commander Sato. It's been interesting, but I haven't heard much about everything else while I've been up on the carrier. How have you been?"

Ezra locked eyes with Wini, fully intending to lie and keep up the façade that all was well with him, but his facial expression had already betrayed him as the smile dropped from his face. She could see it plain as day. "Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"Just an argument with Sabine," Ezra answered, which caused a small sneer to bloom over Wini's face that Ezra instantly noticed. "You really don't like her much, do you?"

"It's not that I don't like her," Wini explained with a sigh as she tried reining in her distaste for who she felt was her only competition. "It's that I don't understand why you like her so much."

"We've been through a lot together," Ezra started, but Wini only shook her head.

"That's not what I meant," she said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "And you know it."

"I know," Ezra conceded, his eyes dropping to the floor in front of him. "Sorry."

"I always hoped that someday you might like me that much, Ezra," Wini admitted. "And for a while there, I thought you might be starting to, but then that undercover mission happened, and after what Gavyn told me happened…"

"What did he tell you?" Ezra asked.

"That you two slept together on the first night at the very least," She explained. "He told me that he knew for sure that happened, but he believed that you and Sabine kept sleeping together afterward too."

"That never happened," Ezra replied. "She wasn't happy about being on the assignment with me and made a bad judgment call. From there, I had to keep an eye on her to make sure she was going to be alright."

"What do you mean?"

"Some Arkanian slaver slipped something into her drink to try and take advantage of her," Ezra answered. "I stopped it from happening, but then had to keep an eye on her until whatever he put into her drink worked through her system."

"Gavyn told me about that but he said you took advantage of the situation," Wini said. "That Sabine left a visible mark on you, and that you left it out for anyone to see."

"That's not what happened," Ezra replied, now becoming angry with Gavyn for blowing things out of proportion. It was bad enough that he'd caused such strain on his own friendship with Sabine, but to also make things difficult between Wini and him as well as Wini and Sabine. That was crossing a line. "Do you think if I had actually taken advantage of Sabine in that situation, that she would still be friends with me after?"

'No," Wini conceded. "I suppose not, but I've also heard rumors from others that there's been something more going on between you and Sabine ever since you returned from that mission too. So, is that just another baseless rumor too?"

This was the moment where he was supposed to deny that anything was going on between himself and Sabine. It was what she'd made him agree to do, but he didn't want to do that anymore. He was even beginning to doubt what was going on between them or if it was going to be worth it. "Things became more complicated with Sabine and I," He eventually concluded.

"And you're not happy," Wini stated.

"I was," was his response. "In the beginning, but now I don't even know where I stand with her."

"Well, if you're not happy, then maybe you should think about making some changes," Wini suggested, her hand sliding down from Ezra's shoulder to grasp his hand.

"Maybe," Ezra replied as he looked back up from the floor to their joined hands.

Sabine's eyes welled up instantly. She almost couldn't believe what she'd heard and seen. It was almost unthinkable to believe that Ezra could be considering ending things with her. After the years of pining for her with the cheesy pickup lines, the terrible attempts at flirting, and other random acts of kindness, it didn't seem right that he could possibly be anything but over the moon for her now that they were actually dating. But now, here he was, doubting what they had, or what they could be, and worse yet, Wini was right there helping to steer him in that direction.

She couldn't listen to it any more as it was tearing her up inside. So, she quietly slipped away without being noticed just as Wini was inviting Ezra to join a gathering with some other pilots. The group was celebrating their last night on Atollon's surface for the cruiser class carrier. She didn't hear any of that, nor did she see Ezra's hesitation before finally accepting the invite with the promise of it being a fun time with no expectations. Sabine was long gone by that point and heading in no specific direction other than away.

She couldn't believe how much she was hurting inside, but she knew that she was at least partly to blame. There was no denying now that she'd pressed Ezra to the brink of losing him, and she was finally brought back to that time when she'd been informed of how highly sought-after Ezra was. But back then, he was unavailable because of his attraction to her. Now though, he'd experienced the drawbacks of being in a relationship with Sabine. So, it wasn't an unknown for him, and he might see that the grass could be greener with someone else.

So wrapped up in her thoughts was Sabine, that she didn't realize Wedge was in front of her until she very nearly ran him over. "Oh, hey Sabine," he said as he stepped back to avoid a collision. Sabine slowed up to look at who had said called her name, and Wedge saw the tears in her eyes. "Is, is something wrong?"

"No," she quickly replied before starting back up on her path to nowhere. "I've gotta go, sorry."

"Well," Wedge said to himself as he scratched his head in confusion while Sabine nearly ran away from him. "That was quick."

"You're wasting your time," Came a voice approaching from a nearby shuttle. Wedge looked over at the person who'd said it. "She's hooked on a Jedi. Been hooked for quite some time now. Trust me."

"And you are?" Wedge asked.

"I'm you," was the cryptic reply. "If you don't give up your pursuit of Sabine, that is."

"I kind of doubt that you're me," Wedge said defiantly.

"Let me guess," The man said as he turned and pointed in the direction of where Sabine had fled. "She's always friendly toward you. Has never given you any indication that flirting with her was unwanted. Never tells you that she isn't interested, but you can see the Jedi is interested in her even though she'll deny that anything is going on between them. She'll tell you that they've only been friends and will only ever be friends."

"We haven't really talked much about any Jedi," Wedge pointed out, but he was beginning to wonder if this guy may have something of a point. "But you still haven't told me your name."

"I'm Gavyn."

Meanwhile, Sabine didn't stop wandering around until she'd found herself aboard one of the command ships that'd come down to deliver a larger number of supplies than their smaller freighters could hold. She didn't know what drove her to where she'd wandered, but she didn't stop until she was inside the brig, and within sight of the only other Mandalorian around.

"What brings you here?" Fenn Rau asked as he stood from his cot to greet his unexpected guest.

"I…I actually don't know," Sabine admitted. "Coming here wasn't intentional."

"Even a traitorous Mandalorian wouldn't go wandering off without good reason," Fenn replied as he studied her. "Something must have left you quite upset to cause such a reaction."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Sabine fired back at him, but she knew by his lack of a reaction that she hadn't convinced him.

"If you don't wish to admit that you are being affected by something, that will likely be the cause of your personal downfall," Fenn said. "A true Mandalorian wouldn't run from their troubles any more than they would an enemy."

"I'm not running," Sabine said, a bit more convincingly. "I'm just formulating a strategy for what I need to do."

"Well then, if being strategic is your goal, perhaps a game of cu'bikad might help get your mindset in the right place," Fenn suggested. "Although, I doubt there are any other Mandalorians in your little Rebellion who might offer a true challenge."

Sabine thought about it for a moment, considering the Protector's suggestion. "What about you?" She asked. "I'm sure you wouldn't mind the company, and it would be better than just staring at blank walls."

"It would help pass the time I suppose," Fenn responded. "I accept your offer."

So, Sabine went off and found a droid with the proper capabilities to project the board and game pieces along with a chair. As was standard procedure, she removed her weapons before entering Fenn's cell and took her seat at the opposite side of the projected game board as Fenn wasted little time in moving his first piece. He kept fairly quiet as they played aside from some occasional small talk about the game's progression. Sabine was thankful for the silence and lack of prying into why she was upset. She enjoyed the bit of time where she could just play cu'bikad and let everything else slip away.

Before she realized it, the day quickly faded away. She didn't win any of the games against Rau, but she did feel much better. She may not have solved anything concerning her dilemma but her confidence level wasn't as shaken anymore. She also was surprised by how much fun she did have and hoped Fenn would accept another chance at playing again. Maybe she could try convincing him to soften his stance on joining the Rebellion. If not, she decided that she wished to continue playing against him.

Sabine didn't really get much of a chance to thank Fenn or anything else before she was basically forced to leave the ship so that it could return to orbit. She knew better than to put up a fight or try to convince anyone to allow her to stay aboard, but as soon as the ship took flight, her thoughts returned to her dilemma. She had yet to devise a plan regarding what to do about her relationship with Ezra. What she did know was that she was done with dancing around the issue. It was past time to face it head-on and let the chips fall where they may.

The first thing she needed to do was find Ezra because she had no idea where he was, but it wasn't too difficult to locate him. All she ended up having to do was head toward the bright light of a fire illuminating an area of the base that the pilots were all sitting around. Ezra was right there with them and of course, Wini was seated right next to him. Sabine's first instinct was to march right over and tell Wini in no uncertain terms that Ezra was spoken for, but she just knew that wouldn't be received well. Not to mention that it would only make her look like the hypocrite she knew she was being.

So, Sabine decided to take a more subtle approach and just ask Ezra if she could have a word with him in private. From there, she'd have to formulate the right words to let Ezra know that she was wrong and wasn't ready to give up on them. She was going to fight for what they had and what they could be. She only hoped she wasn't going to be too late.

Ezra was enjoying the festive nature of the little celebration he was an outside party to. Everyone there except for him would be up, traveling up to the cruiser carrier so that they could begin some more in-depth flight training with dogfighting, evasive maneuvering, and combat situations being the agenda. The goal was for each of them to become a good fighter pilot who would have a better chance at coming out on top against the Empire's forces.

Everyone there seemed to be enjoying themselves, but things had become a little awkward with Wini. She wasn't trying to hide the fact that she was interested in Ezra as more than a friend and that she wanted to pursue that. Ezra found it surprising that he was actually tempted by her offer. He'd never been interested in anyone other than Sabine ever since he'd known her, and Wini's offer had caught him off guard, but after a split second of indecision, he knew that he wasn't quite ready to give up whatever it was that he had with Sabine.

That brought on the awkwardness because Wini wasn't exactly thrilled that Ezra didn't take her up on her offer, but she still liked him and wanted to keep their friendship going. She knew that Ezra was still pining for Sabine, but she saw the cracks forming in his armor. The pedestal that he'd placed Sabine on was beginning to fade, and she calculated that it was only a matter of time before she'd get her chance. She just had to bide her time a little longer, and then she would get her chance to show Ezra how serious she was about dating him.

Her patience, however, took a major blow when she noticed her competition approaching them. "Hey Ezra," Sabine softly said. "Could I get a word with you?"

Ezra gave Sabine a look that made Wini think he might just brush the Mando girl off as he responded. "What is it, Sabine?"

"Um, I was hoping it could be in private." She said as she protectively wrapped herself in her arms.

"Look Sabine," Ezra said with an exhausted huff. "I don't want to fight, so if we could just…"

"I don't want to fight either," Sabine interrupted. "I just want to talk to you for a minute, and if you want, you can come right back here with your friends after hearing what I have to say."

Standing there in front of them, Sabine could see the hesitation in Ezra's features, and while that did hurt, she knew she was mostly the cause for it. He'd never hesitated to follow her anywhere before, even when she'd never shown interest in him, but now that she was interested, Sabine knew that she was the one who had to step up. So, she held her hand out to him. "Please," she pleaded.

Ezra's eyes widened upon hearing her practically begging him to come with her. Still, he did think about telling her that they could talk later. He'd been having a good time regardless of having to tell Wini that he wasn't ready to move on from Sabine yet. He was once again hesitating to answer until he noticed something in Sabine's eyes. She was bordering on desperation, and that was enough to sway him so long as she passed a small test.

Ezra reached for her outstretched hand and took it. Sabine then gave him a gentle tug to help him get to his feet and then surprised him further by interlacing their fingers instead of letting go of his hand like he was anticipating. Faded hope began to return to him that what she had to say might have the same impact as her continuing to hold his hand. And then she offered him a small smile once he willingly started to follow after her, and what had been feeling like a lost cause began to fill with real hope again.

Sabine was nervous but also happy that Ezra was giving her this chance. She just had to make sure that she didn't screw this up and risk losing him. Something about his hesitation was telling her that she was already dangerously close to it, and she had to show him that she didn't want that to happen. Under normal circumstances, she would've remained silent until they were in a secure area where no prying eyes or ears could be luring, but she couldn't wait for that. What she had to say was too important for her to wait.

"Ezra, I…" she started to say as she finally released his hand and stood directly in front of him. This was difficult for her and she did hesitate, but only briefly. "First, I want to apologize to you. I know that what I've asked of you hasn't been fair, and I can see now how watching someone flirt with the person you're dating feels."

"Yeah," Ezra said simply as he crossed his arms over his chest. "But that isn't all."

"I know," Sabine replied before pressing on. "I'm also sorry that I didn't do more to let anyone who flirted with me know that I wasn't available. It was wrong of me to do nothing, and from now on, I'm going to make sure that flirting with me isn't going to be allowed without them knowing right away."

"That's nice and all, Sabine," Ezra said. "But it's not enough. Not anymore."

Sabine wasn't exactly surprised by his response, and she needed him to know that she was willing to sacrifice just like she'd been asking him to do up until this point. "What more needs to happen?"

"I get that we don't want our enemies to know about us so that they can try to exploit it, but I shouldn't have to hide how I feel about you around Chopper base or at least our friends. It's not okay that you just tell guys not to flirt with you. I think I deserve for them to know why you don't want them to flirt."

"Okay." Sabine conceded.

"Okay?" Ezra parroted.

"Yes," Sabine said as she slowly approached Ezra, and wrapped her arms around him. "Let's not be a secret anymore."

Ezra smiled at that and returned the hug. It felt like a large weight had been lifted, but he was still feeling a tad apprehensive. Still, Sabine had offered to change her stance on their relationship, which was what he wanted. And she wasn't quite done yet either.

"So…do you want to go back to the party?" She asked. If he wanted to return on his own or perhaps with her by his side, then she was more than willing to comply with whatever he wanted to do. She would even announce to everyone there that they were officially together if that was what he wanted.

"Actually," he said. "I'd really like to find somewhere more comfortable to spend some time with you."

AN: I always wondered what might cause Sabine to begin visiting Rau in his holding cell, and I hope this explanation offers a decent explanation for what started that. The story is not quite to the point of the Imperial Supercommandos episode, but that will be the next one the story will touch on as we approach Visions and Voices.