I think we have reached about the mid point of this story. I made up the part about Akizuki Nakuru choosing a career in journalism, because I felt that with her special talent of snooping on people, she would do well in that career. Also, it fits well with her exuberant nature.
I also assumed that the Akiho-Yuna-Momo's arc will be over by the time Sakura and her friends are done with high school, so everyone will know about Momo's identity and her true form; these three have moved to another country but kept in touch with the folks in Japan in this fiction, just like Eriol's group.
For the first time, Tomoyo's eyes actively searched for Yue when she entered the reading area of Tomoeda public library on the following Saturday. Soon, she was able to locate him seated at the corner desk. She went to his desk, politely greeted him and sat down with the book she had just selected from the library's stacks. The only acknowledgement to her greeting was a slight tilt of the silver head of the young man seated across the desk from her. She wanted to tell him everything that she had planned, but hesitated to start a conversation for two reasons; first, they were in a silent zone, and second Yue-san seemed so engrossed in the pages of his volume that it was hard to disturb him without feeling guilty. So, Tomoyo began to read, while waiting for a more suitable opportunity.
About thirty minutes later, Yue rose from his seat, and walked to the stacks section. Tomoyo quietly followed him after a minute. She saw Yue-san walk into the foreign languages section. HIs eyes scanned the shelves and picked a volume. He supported the book on his left forearm and flipped a few pages with his right. It seemed he could move his right arm better than what she had seen last week, although the compression bandage was still in place.
"Ano, Yue-san," Tomoyo spoke as she approached the tall man.
"Is there anything that you need?" Yue said without looking at the young girl.
"Perhaps a little bit of your time," Tomoyo smiled a little.
"Why?" Yue looked up from the pages this time.
"Just to tell you that–," Tomoyo was cut off by another voice.
"Young lady," a stern looking woman who looked to be in her mid fifties approached them, pushing a small cart of books. "The library is no place for idle gossip," she pointed to the sign above them bearing the word silence.
Tomoyo's face was hot with embarrassment. Due to her impatience, she had forgotten to lower her voice while speaking. "Sumimasen, I shall be more careful," she bowed. Tomoyo usually had perfect manners, and it was very rare for her to get called out for bad behavior.
"Young people! Will they ever learn," the strict lady bearing the badge of a librarian muttered, slowly pushing the cart full of books to the next shelf.
Yue found the flustered expression on Tomoyo's face quite amusing, though his facial expression did not change in the slightest. However, on seeing the look of disappointment within her deep violet eyes, he placed the book in his hand back on the shelf with an inward sigh. "Follow me," he said in a voice barely above a whisper as he turned towards the door at the back. Tomoyo did as she was told, and the two of them stepped out into the deserted backyard of the library. The afternoon was not sunny and bright that day, but quite the opposite. Rather, gray clouds lazily drifted around in the murky sky above them, and a feeling of dampness hung in the air.
"Yue-san, about last Saturday,-" Tomoyo started when they had walked some distance away from the large library building.
"You had been reckless on that occasion," Yue said in a dispassionate voice.
There he goes! Tomoyo thought. Yue-san started admonishing her once again even before she had a chance to say anything. It seemed that her fortune on that day was to get reprimanded by more than just one person. However, this time Tomoyo was determined to maintain her composure and dignity. "Well, I was not actually wanting to jump before the train, just to let you know," she protested.
"Was the purse worth risking your life over?" Yue asked rhetorically.
"I had my phone inside it, which contained the recordings of the choir that we rehearsed that day. I was responsible for sharing the audio file with everyone else in the group when I got home. It was important to me, and the whole group," Tomoyo explained.
"I don't care what was inside. Just don't do such a heedless thing ever again," Yue said. You will sing hundreds of such songs if you live, silly girl, he said in his mind. "Those miscreants are armed quite often," he added in a cautionary voice.
Tomoyo smiled as her mind grasped the hidden concern in Yue's words. She realized that if Yue-san chastised someone, it was out of his solicitude for them. She did not know why, but her heart felt a little lighter at the realization, even though she was yet to receive a single kind word from the person who saved her that day. The vague feeling was almost as if a small patch of sunshine or a happy little bird had entered the silent chamber of her heart.
"Yue-san, I owe my life to you for that incident. Please allow me to express my deepest gratitude for protecting me," she bowed before him, and held that posture. .
"There's no need to thank me, Daidouji-san. I was merely acting in the best interests of my master," Yue said. "She would not be able to bear the dreadful thing that was about to happen to her friend," he added.
Tomoyo lifted her head and straightened her backbone. "Is that all Yue-san? Is there nothing that you care about beyond your duty towards Sakura-chan?" she asked. The tiny drop of sunshine in her heart had left almost as soon as it had arrived, leaving it dark and cold once again.
"My duty towards my master is my foremost obligation. I won't deny it," Yue answered passively.
"So, if there was someone else instead of me in that situation who was not Sakura-chan's friend, would you have let them meet their end in such a horrid way?" Tomoyo asked, lifting up her chin to stare straight at the face of her friend's moon guardian.
"I didn't say that," the taciturn man briefly answered.
"Then why don't you just say that you wanted to save me or anyone else who could have been at my place that time without involving Sakura-chan? You are not a heartless person, Yue-san, despite what you try to show. Why do you bring up Sakura-chan to justify your own actions? Why do you try to avoid accountability on your part? She did not even want to be your master, do you remember? She wanted to be friends with you." Tomoyo said in a soft but firm voice.
"I haven't forgotten that part. However, she did not dissolve our contract either. As long as that remains in place, I am bound by my duty. Just calling ourselves friends won't change facts," Yue responded, irritated at this point.
Tomoyo did not expect that the conversation would take such a confrontational turn, but now that it did, there was no backing out of it. "What contract?" she asked.
"It is a bond forged by magic between a magician who uses that magic and the beings who draw their power from the same magic either directly or indirectly. You have no magical powers yourself. Obviously, you won't understand," Yue tried to dismiss the young girl.
"You are right. I am just an ordinary person who is not knowledgeable on such matters.. However, I don't need any magic to understand that Yue-san is just as kind as Tsukishiro-san is. However, you are afraid to admit it," Tomoyo said. Yue turned his face and looked away from her without a word, so she continued. "Afraid of what? Of other people or yourself? You think that people might take advantage of your kindness to hurt you, don't you? You are scared of attachments because you think that they will eventually leave you behind. Isn't that why you shut everyone out and dwell with nothing but your memories of Clow-san?" Tomoyo paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "I may have no powers myself, but I consider myself fortunate enough to know several individuals who are like yourself. Yet, they are so different. Kero-chan and Spinel-san now share their hobbies. Spinel-san has become a gamer, and Kero-chan has become a reader. More importantly, they have each other. Akizuki-san has become a successful journalist. Momo-san loves to visit new places and indulging herself with exotic chocolates. All of them are trying to live the best of their lives despite this so called contract that you speak of. Why is it that only you made assisting Sakura-chan the sole purpose of your life?"
"I was created with a certain objective. My own choices are next to inconsequential," Yue replied in a stony voice. "Besides the existence of all the others whom you mentioned does not exist in a state of duality between their true and false forms," he added.
"I think it was wrong of Clow-san, because you are not a mechanical doll who would only exist to fulfill his whimsical and irrelevant objectives. You are a sentient being who deserves to have a choice regarding your one life. Tsukishiro-san was also created for the very same purpose, but he decided to own his own life and to make his own choices. Why can't you, Yue-san?" Tomoyo said, a little breathlessly.
"Daidouji-san, you might be overstepping your boundaries at this point," Yue said in a steely voice, finally deciding to warn the young lady. In truth, he did not expect the soft spoken Daidouji-san to be so forthright, so her words sort of caught him off guard. Her cousin had said similar things to him in the past. He had simply avoided confrontation at that point by transforming to his other self. However, that was not an option at the present moment, since he had promised to face the world in his true form for at least one day a week. Yue sighed, probably this was part of facing the world. The very name of Clow Reed stirred up the ever familiar pang in his chest.
"You can chide me all you want, but I will still say what I feel is right, because I want the person who saved me to find peace and happiness. Yue-san, please stop living for someone who has passed away years ago. Please try to break the cage of memories that you have created around yourselves. Please, just live for yourself," Tomoyo said earnestly.
Yue turned his face to look at Tomoyo once again. Tomoyo saw that his mysterious blue eyes were fixed on her face. He did not speak for a while. Tomoyo finally looked down, unable to hold his gaze any longer. Finally, he spoke again.
"Were you able to do all of that yourself, Daidouji-san? Were you truly able to let go of the past and break your own cage? Haven't you been living for others throughout your own life? Have you ever allowed yourself the opportunity to live for yourself?" Yue said sharply.
Tomoyo's head shot up, her wide eyes fell on the angelic face of the man before her. "I have been happy with my life, and–,"
"Everyday, you try to convince yourself that you are happy with the happiness of everyone else around you. Yet, when it comes to yourself, you have nothing to look forward to, but you dare not admit it to yourself," Yue cut her off promptly. He took a step towards her, still pinning her with his gaze. Tomoyo tried to look away, but Yue extended his arm and caught her chin between his right thumb and forefinger. "Am I wrong?" he asked.
"I don't know,-" Tomoyo gazed down at their feet suddenly wishing that she would have just stopped at saying thanks and excused herself right after Yue-san said that he had saved her due to his duty towards Sakura-chan. How did this person who had barely interacted with her in the past know of such things which she did not quite understand herself? He spoke as if he was analyzing the character from a book or a movie. Tomoyo felt that perhaps his vicarious experience as his other form gave him an unique perspective of looking at the lives of Tsukishiro-san's close acquaintances
Yue sighed a little at Tomoyo's discomfited reply, and withdrew his fingers from her chin "Unlike me, you are a human, Daidouji-san. Unlike mine, your life was meant to be different from the start; one that is filled with hope for the future, not devoid of it," he said in a gentler tone.
Tomoyo had bravely endured Yue's trenchant words that far, but the sudden softness of his tone snapped something within her. She rushed past him and went to stand before a nearby tree, her back to him. Yue saw that Daidouji-san placed her hand on the bark of the tree. It appeared that she needed to gather her thoughts. It was difficult to tell if she was crying or trying to fight back her tears, but he suspected that she might be, although she was standing very still. The thought of her crying made him feel a bit uneasy. Neither of them said anything for a while.
"At least, I am trying, you know," Tomoyo finally spoke again.. "I have been trying to do all those things you said for years. It's hard, but I will keep trying," she said. From the broken voice of the girl, Yue knew she was indeed in tears. He felt at a loss. Humans were such strange creatures, especially women. His young master had cried in his presence a few times in the past, but she was still a child during those times, and it was easier to console her. Yue had absolutely no idea how to make the tears of a grown person stop. He walked over to the tree where Tomoyo stood.
"I was just being honest with you as you had been with me. It was not my intention to cause you pain," Yue said.
"I know," it was Tomoyo's turn to be succinct this time
"Perhaps it was not my place to say these things. Will you accept my apology?" Yue asked. Tomoyo slowly turned to face the moon guardian, who noticed the streaks of tears running down her pretty face.
"You have said or done nothing wrong, so I cannot accept it. Neither will I apologize for what I have said, because they are true as well. We are not that different after all, Yue-san," Tomoyo leaned her back against the trunk of the tree, and closed her eyes. More tears rolled down her cheeks. At that moment, small raindrops started falling from the sky on the pair.
Yue's blue eyes stared up at the overcast sky. "We should go inside. It's starting to rain," he suggested.
"Please go ahead without me," Tomoyo said. Now that her tears had forced their way out of her eyes, she needed them to fall till the burden on her heart felt lighter. Being the perfect girl who everyone could always count on had taken its toll on her, and she was thoroughly exhausted. For years, she had offered the shoulder to cry on to anyone who needed it. She did it for Sakura-chan, for Meiling-chan, for Akiho-chan, and she was thankful that they found comfort in her quiet company. However, the sorrows she had been quietly absorbing from others gradually accumulated in her own heart. Her classmates saw her as the ever happy elite girl who lived in a huge mansion, enjoying the perfect life that rivaled that of a princess. They had no idea how much the stately silence of the mansion suffocated her at times as she sat there in the company of her books and videos. They could never imagine that the girl who dwelt within those walls often had dreams about living in a small home where voices and laughters echoed from room to room, and the aroma of a delicious dinner being cooked wafted throughout the house. Of course, Tomoyo never voiced such thoughts to anyone. She did not even dare to think them aloud in her own mind. Wanting anything for herself had always felt something akin to ungrateful to her, and Tomoyo was used to putting her own wishes aside to the point that she placed herself aside in most situations. Regardless, Yue-san saw through her life, and described it for what it was, a cage. Yes, the perfect life surrounding her that the average girl could only dream of was nothing more than a golden cage within which she confined her own existence. She did not even have the strength to fight back her tears anymore, and she could not go inside the library crying like this. People would think that she and Yue-san just had a lover's quarrel or something like that. Let the rain come down hard. Tomoyo did not care anymore.
The rain however did not come down hard. Instead it started drizzling at a languid pace. Tomoyo partially opened her misty eyes, expecting to find that Yue-san had gone back inside. Instead, her gaze landed on the sea green hue of his shirt, the outline of the white buttons there appearing distorted due to her hazy vision. How awkward it must be for him to watch her cry like this. She half-expected him to go back to chiding her for being so silly and emotional for no reason. But he did not speak. Instead it seemed that the pale arms crossed on his chest were starting to glow. Is he going to transform back to Tsukishiro-san right now? Tomoyo's mind panicked. He must have grown tired of seeing her shed tears. She would be mortified if Tsukishiro-san saw her crying like that, and being the caring person that he was, he would definitely be very concerned. Having Yue-san see this weak side of her was bad enough, but he was sort of like a disinterested audience, who had no direct part in her life. However, showing such a weakness to someone from her direct social circle would shatter the image of the calm, composed and restrained young lady that they all had of her. She hurriedly lifted her hands to wipe her eyes, thinking hard of a suitable excuse to give Tsukishiro-san for being in such a pitiable state when he appeared before her a moment later.
However, when the silvery-white wings unfurled themselves from the form of the young man they had been enclosing, the color of the eyes that looked at Tomoyo remained pale blue instead of changing to amber. The ethereal form that stood before her was dressed in white silken robes fringed with light blue hems, and tied with the violet sash at the waist. The huge pair of wings stooped lower and formed a dome like shape around her, shielding her body from the drizzle outside.
"It's just you again," Tomoyo smiled, feeling a huge relief wash over her. More tears rolled down her cheeks at the same time. She had not seen Yue-san like this for a very long time.
Yue reached out and gracefully flicked away a drop of tear from the corner of her long eyelashes. "Don't cry," he said, "Your tears would make my master sad. If there is something that makes you unhappy, try to let it go," he added in a neutral tone. Tomoyo permitted herself to shed the last few drops of her tears as she stood under that tree, shielded from the rain by Yue-san's angelic wings on that dreary day. Yue-san had placed his hand on the bark of the tree beside her face. The wind picked up a bit, blowing some of her loose hair on her face and tugged at the ends of the long silken cape that draped his right shoulder.
"I will continue to try as I said," Tomoyo answered. "But you have to try harder, Yue-san. You are not really putting any effort at the moment," she said, slowly composing herself, and finding her way back to the initial topic of their conversation. Once again, Yue had brought up Sakura to explain why he did not want her to cry, so it just made it easy for her to go back there. "Let us both try to break our own cages, Yue-san," Tomoyo said, placing her calm gaze on his face. "And let us support each other in the process as true friends. Let each of us start living our lives for our own selves," Tomoyo extended her right hand to him as she spoke the final sentence. She closed her eyes and waited for him to respond.
Yue stared at the dainty hand held out for him to take. Daidouji-san was extending a hand of friendship to him. After a moment, Tomoyo felt a soft and light touch on her palm. Yue-san had merely brought the tips of his long fingers in contact with her hand. He did not place his hand in hers, as if still hesitating to accept her friendship. Tomoyo opened her eyes and smiled, wrapping her own fingers around his longer ones gently. "See, that's a start. Just take one small step at a time, and one day everything will be fine," she assured.
Please leave a review if the story has been interesting to you so far. Would love to hear what you are expecting to happen next.