Thanks to eccogris061010, evil and James Birdsong for reviewing the previous chapter. Happy to hear that you have liked the content so far.
A day later, Tomoyo was sitting on the open terrace adjoining her living room and gazing blankly at the stars that had just appeared in the moonless evening sky, when an attendant walked in to announce the arrival of Tsukishiro-san.
"Konbanwa, Tomoyo chan. Thanks for letting me visit you today," the gray haired young man greeted the girl with a smile. "How's Daidouji-san doing today?" he asked, referring to her mother.
"Konbanwa, Tsukishiro-san. I am happy to let you know that oka-san is recovering fast. She was able to talk more today, and tomorrow she is coming home from the hospital," Tomoyo responded with a smile as she approached her visitor.
"Yokatta, you must be so relieved now," Yukito said. "How are you doing yourself?" he focused his kind amber eyes on her face.
"Hai, genki desu. I am always good," Tomoyo chuckled softly.
"Is that true, Tomoyo-chan?" Yukito lifted his hand and placed it on Tomoyo's head. "You know since the moment I heard of the incident with Daidouji-san, I have been wanting to see you," he said calmly.
"I am so sorry to have worried you," Tomoyo replied quickly. "But I was really lucky that I had so many people to help me. There was Sakura-chan, Touya oni-san and of course Fujitaka-san, and–," Tomoyo stopped.
"And Yue-san, right?" Yukito finished the sentence for her. Tomoyo nodded quietly.
"Someone else has been very concerned about you. So, I will let him see you for a while, all right?" Yukito spoke gently. By the time he finished talking, the hand on Tomoyo's head had already started to glow. Tomoyo stepped back and gazed at the magical sight of his transformation, until her eyes were locked with icy blue eyes once again.
"Daidouji-san," a steely voice sounded in Tomoyo's ears, making her bashfully aware of the fact that she had probably stared into those mesmerizing eyes a bit longer than appropriate.
"Yue-san," she bowed quickly. "Thanks for visiting," she added.
"I am not the one visiting, and neither did I say that I was very concerned," came the airy response from the moon guardian as he made his ethereal wings disappear.
Tomoyo's jawline hardened. "Right. I might have forgotten that you are only mildly concerned because Sakura-chan would be sad if I am unhappy. Thanks for reminding me again," Tomoyo said in an unusually sardonic tone.
"I did not say that either, Daidouji-san," Yue said, taking a step closer to her. "Are you angry with me for some reason?" he asked.
"I don't think I have the privilege of being angry with someone like you," Tomoyo responded, stepping away from the young man before her and proceeding to sit on the couch at the edge of the terrace. She reprimanded herself inwardly for her own foolishness. Yue-san was being his usual aloof and impassive self. It was so unreasonable of her to expect him to be any different for her. Even if he did care, it was not like he would be willing to openly admit it.
Yue huffed. "Look Daidouji-san, it was Yukito's decision to visit you and transform for no reason. As I had mentioned before, I do not interfere in his life, and the choices he makes therein. If you didn't want to see me right now you should have told him so. In any case, I should probably leave," he turned away.
"I am a really ungrateful person, isn't it Yue-san?" Yue heard the girl's voice as he was about to change back. He stopped the process and walked over to where she was sitting, somehow appearing more frail and forlorn than she has ever seemed to him before that evening. He silently observed her for a few seconds, as she kept her head lowered and looked down on her lap.
Tomoyo felt Yue-san touch the top of her head gently. He then started tilting it back slowly with his hand till his sharp blue eyes could scan her unobstructed face. The thin lines of his silver brows furrowed a little bit. "I see," he finally remarked. "You are not angry with me. Rather, you are upset with yourself," he stated.
"I deserve to be," Tomoyo lowered her head again as Yue-san removed his hand from her crown.
"Why?" the moon guardian questioned as he took a seat beside the human girl,
"Because it happened because of me. Yue-san, my mother is suffering now, because I failed to notice it," Tomoyo said in an anguished voice.
"Your taking the phone calls earlier would hardly have made a difference to her condition," Yue said.
"You are right, and that's why it is not that part that bothers me the most," Tomoyo said. "Yue-san, you see I had seen oka-san appearing increasingly exhausted lately. I saw her nearly pass out as we were talking one time. Yet, I thought they were nothing more than the fatigue from her long work hours. If only I had known; if only I had paid more attention and taken her to see a doctor sooner,-" Tomoyo's voice trailed off. She placed her fingers over Yue-san's hand that rested in the space between them.
"That does not make you accountable for what happened. You are majoring in computer science, not medical science," Yue commented.
"Your kindness makes you look past my faults," Tomoyo said, ignoring her friend's attempt at wry humor. "Anyone would have noticed the signs of something seriously wrong with oka-san's health unless they were selfishly self-absorbed like I was. Also part of me refused to see it. My mind did not even want to process the thought that something might happen with mother after what had happened with my father," Tomoyo said.
Yue had no idea about the last part of Tomoyo's sentence that was connected to her past, but he realized it was not the best time to ask her about it, as he felta few warm drops of tears that fell on his hand from Tomoyo's eyes. Not that he was very curious anyway. He moved his hand and held the soft, feminine hand securely between his palm and fingers. "Only a fool would say that," he remarked.
"You speak as if you know everything," Tomoyo said amidst her tears.
"I do, because I was that fool once," Yue responded calmly.
"What are you saying, Yue-san?" Tomoyo was clearly caught by surprise. The proud Yue-san calling himself a fool? She was not sure if she had even heard him correctly. She tried to focus her teary eyes on the beautiful face of the moon guardian who sat beside her.
"When Clow passed away, I had similar thoughts. I thought that maybe there was something that I could I have done to make him stay; that I didn't try enough and –,"
"Yue-san," Tomoyo raised her hand and touched Yue's face for the first time. "Please, you don't have to talk about things that pain you for my sake," she pleaded.
"It is alright now, Daidouji-san. It is alright since I realized that had it not been for Keroberos and I, Clow would have left the world much earlier than he did. I may not know everything, but I feel it might be similar in case of your mother too. You are not the reason that she is suffering now. You are the reason that she has lived a meaningful and productive life so far," Yue said.
"Maybe you are right. Maybe one day, I shall also see the truth in your words. But today, I am still foolish," Tomoyo leaned against him. Yue extended his arms and pulled her closer against his chest. The sobbing girl tucked her face beneath his chin, one side of her face against his collarbone. "Still scared," she mumbled.
"Daidouji-san's doctors are trying their best, isn't it? Just now you told Yukito that your mother is recovering, and you are always great," Yue said softly, touching her hair gently.
"Tsukishiro-san is not a stoic like Yue-san," Tomoyo muttered. "Mother is doing better, yes, but I do not want to overwhelm Tsukishiro-san with my silly fears," she added.
Yue did not reply. He turned his gaze to the sky and allowed Tomoyo to cry on his shoulder yet again. It was getting cooler with nightfall, and a cold gust of wind blew past them, making Tomoyo shiver ever so slightly.
"Daidouji-san, you should go inside where it is warmer," Yue said.
"Not yet, please," Tomoyo said, her voice muffled by the fabric of the silken drape that covered Yue's shoulder. Yue remained silent.
"You are not going to scold me?" Tomoyo asked. It seemed that she did not expect Yue-san to just give in without an argument.
"No, because there is something better than I can do," Yue replied. The large silvery white wings reappeared on either side of Yue's back and extended forward to shroud the girl he held in his arms. Instantly, Tomoyo felt the chill of the evening air being replaced by the warmth of Yue-san's impressive wings. Tomoyo closed her eyes and sighed, allowing the tears to fall freely from her eyes. It felt so comfortable to be held by Yue-san like that. It was almost as if she was asleep in her own warm and comfy bed, dreaming a sad dream; one that would make her smile later, realizing that it was just a dream.
At length, the clock in the adjacent room struck the beginning of the next hour. At the sound, Tomoyo finally raised her head and looked up, to meet the pair of light blue eyes that were watching her cautiously. It was hard to tell what Yue-san was thinking. As she continued to look into his eyes, she felt as if she was falling endlessly through the never ending expanse of the blue sky. It was not an unpleasant feeling, but it made her extremely scared. Tomoyo felt that if she looked into those eyes a moment longer, she would fall till she hit the ground and shatter into a thousand pieces that no one will ever be able to find.
Tomoyo closed her eyes at that moment. Touya onii-san was right. Yue-san's eyes are like the empty skies.
Yue also forced his eyes shut at the same time. Her eyes, deep as the bottomless ocean .
Yue did not want his consciousness to drown in the bottomless depth of those violet eyes that sparkled a little with tears. Daidouji-san is just another human , he had to remind himself. A mortal, like Clow. Only fools make the same mistake again and again, and Yue had convinced himself that he was no longer a fool.
A last few drops of tears slid past Tomoyo's shut eyelids. Yue-san had really awakened things that Tomoyo had carefully coaxed to lie dormant in her heart all these years. The first among these was her sorrow. Yue-san had told her that she should not unnecessarily suppress her grief and lately, it seemed that if she felt sad and he was near, she could not stop her tears, which is something that has never happened earlier. The second thing that her closeness with Yue-san had stirred in her heart were the feelings that Tomoyo thought she had banished for a lifetime, and would never have for anyone. It left her feeling quite helpless and miserable, since she could not understand why she felt so differently about Tsukishiro-san and Yue-san. Tsukishiro-san was like the older brother she never had, and had always been that way. Yet, despite her best attempts, her heart refused to accept Yue-san in the same way. How could she possibly explain why the alter ego of a man who was like a brother to her made her heart feel so restless? It seemed wrong by all means. Yet, at that moment, Tomoyo could feel the strength of the lean arms around her shoulders and the jagged fringes of Yue-san's feathery wings that brushed lightly on her back, making her spine tingle a bit. Despite the many things that tormented her mind, everything felt right about being held in Yue-san's arms like that. It was so nice to be enveloped by the soft warmth of his wings that she wished she did not have to let him go anytime soon. It gave her a sense of protection and comfort that she had never experienced before.
At last, Tomoyo reopened her eyes and pulled herself back a bit to look at Yue's face. "I ended up making you endure my silly sobbing again. Gomen ne," she told the moon guardian.
Yue's eyelids also fluttered open at the sound of her voice. The pale blue orbs framed by long eyelashes looked soft as he gazed at her. "Maybe, I will become accustomed to it if it keeps happening," he said as wiped the tears from the girl's face with his hand. He stood on his feet and Tomoyo followed suit.
"Thanks for staying to console a fool like me," Tomoyo said, looking at the reflection of her face at the blue stone on Yue-san's armor that shone even in the dim light of the terrace. She looked as terrible as someone who had just bawled her eyes out.
Yue placed a light hand on Tomoyo's right shoulder. "Daidouji-san, if you need anything, do not hesitate to reach out to Yukito," he told her.
Tomoyo nodded. It seemed Yue-san wanted his other form to help her, and it was only natural. Tsukishiro-san was compassionate and smart. Yet, the words stung somewhere deep in her heart. Perhaps, he wants to have nothing to do with me after all, but is too kind to tell it directly , she thought.
"Go back inside. I shall depart once you do," Yue said. Tomoyo did not argue further. She bowed politely, bidding him good night and left the terrace. When she turned back from the door, the moon guardian had already spread his large wings in the night sky.
The next day, Tomoyo heard that her mother was back from the hospital once she got home after her classes. She had missed two days of classes, so Sonomi herself insisted that she started attending them again. Tomoyo quickly changed and rushed to her mother's room. She peeked inside to see that her mother was quietly sitting on her bed, holding a photo frame.
"Oka-san, I am so glad to have you back home," Tomoyo entered the room with a smile.
"Ah, Tomoyo-chan okaeri-nasai," Sonomi greeted, quickly putting away the frame that held an old photograph of an younger, livelier version of herself smiling proudly at the dark haired young man beside her, and the baby held lovingly in his arms; her late husband and their daughter.
"Mother, you have to promise that you won't start working until the doctor says it is fine to. Also, when you do, no more later nighters and traveling every other week. Onegai," Tomoyo pleaded, sitting down on the edge of her mothers bed.
"Hai hai. I am sorry to have scared you, Tomoyo-chan. You had to miss your classes too to stay at the hospital for the last two days," Sonomi said.
"That is fine oka-san. And everyone helped me so much so I was fine," Tomoyo said.
"Speaking of which, I heard you were with that strange silver-haired boy that evening," Sonomi said.
"Yes, we were both at the library, and Yue-san offered to accompany me to the hospital when I told him what happened," Tomoyo said. The chief of her mothers personal bodyguards, Akane-san, has been working with their family for many years, and consequently she has developed some sort of a friendship with her mother that extended beyond their professional relationship. She had sort of expected that Akane-san would tell her mother about the strange boy who accompanied the heir of the Daidouji family, and her mother would bring up the topic sooner or later.
"Since the day I saw that boy with you, I knew that he would take you from me someday," Sonomi huffed, biting her lower lip.
Tomoyo did not expect her mother to be so straightforward so soon. She sounded exactly like Touya oni-san when talking about Syaoran-kun. "Oka-san, Yue-san has no such intentions or even feelings for me. You are worrying unnecessarily. He is just a kind friend to me," Tomoyo said firmly.
"Tomoyo-chan, even kind people leave, and when they do, the sadness that they leave behind lasts for a lifetime," Sonomi said quietly, her eyes shifting back to the framed photo resting on the desk by her bedside. "That is what bothers me," she turned her face back to Tomoyo. "I trust your judgment, and if you say that this Yue-san of yours is a kind person, I have no reason to disbelieve it. However, should I not be concerned that my young daughter who never even went on a date with any of the boys from her class or anyone else, has now developed such a weakness for a strange fellow who I know nothing about?" Sonomi continued.
"Oka-san, I just wish Yue-san to be happy, since he deserves to be," Tomoyo told her mother. "That's the extent of what you call as weakness," she added.
"Even at the cost of your own happiness, I presume" Sonomi sighed. "Seriously, Tomoyo-chan do you think you can keep running away from your own feelings forever?" the red haired lady asked.
"I will always do what is best for everyone. For Touya onii-san, Tsukishiro-san and Yue-san. Oka-san, please rest assured that I won't do anything rash. I promised you, remember?" Tomoyo said.
"I believe you Tomoyo-chan," Sonomi lifted her daughter's hand and kissed it softly. "But your selflessness is what makes me worried. Also, I don't understand what this new silver-haired boy has got to do with Touya-kun and Tsukishiro-kun. I hope he is not trying to cause a rift between the two of them," Sonomi looked and sounded displeased, once again not bothering to say Yue's name.
"Yue-san would never do such a thing. But he and Tsukishiro-san are bound by the same strange family issue which they need to resolve before either of them can move on. I am sorry that I cannot tell you more right now. It is kind of personal to them and very complicated," Tomoyo tried her best to explain without divulging anything.
"Family issues, huh?" Sonomi said. "I thought Tsukishiro-kun did not have much of a family. I suppose that explains why he and Touya-kun are not engaged yet despite being together for so long. I hoped it would be smooth for them since Kinomoto sensei is not against it. In fact, he seems to think that Tsukishiro-kun is the only one who would make his son happy," Sonomi reflected.
"Hontou? Fujitaka-san said that? And you knew about Touya onii-san and Tsukishiro-san? " Tomoyo was more pleasantly surprised this time.
"Ah, I have known about them for years. Also, Kinomoto sensei is very supportive. Perhaps not all of us parents are as foolish and old school as you young people seem to think. When our children really like someone, we can tell," Sonomi laughed lightly, ruffling the neatly plaited hair on Tomoyo's head with her hand.
Finally Tomoyo smiled, leaning into her mother's loving touch. "They are both amazing in the way they have always loved and protected each other," she said.
"But now, Tsukishiro-kun's distant and absent family stands in their way. Mattaku, it is just unfortunate that some families are still so orthodox that they create such problems if two people want to be together. I would have understood if they were his parents who raised him and everything, but these distant relatives are nothing but annoying. I am glad that we don't have any," Sonomi remarked.
Tomoyo sighed, realizing it was better to let her mother cling on to that vague notion for now. She put her arms around her mother. "Oka-san, one day, when everything settles down and everyone is happy, I want to tell you everything about why Yue-san is so important to me and why I did what I am doing now. Until then, please pray that I remain strong," Tomoyo said.
"So be it, Tomoyo-chan. And I will also pray that my own daughter also finds her happiness that day," Sonomi said, placing her hand on Tomoyo's head once again.
Two weeks later, Tomoyo opened her tired eyes slowly to find herself on the train. There were few people on board as it was the weekend, and late evening already. The pale skinned, silver haired young man beside her glanced at her through the corner of his eyes, but did not speak. She found that her head was resting on his shoulder with one side of her body leaning against his arm, and her hand was at his elbow. The week of the final examinations that concluded the day before had been stressful and Tomoyo had to study extra hours to make up for missing some classes so close to the exams. She realized that she must have dozed off on Yue-san on their way back from the library due to the lack of sufficient sleep over the past week. Even the night before, she had that weird dream again, which kept her awake for the rest of the night. The moon in her dream has grown smaller again, and the uneasy feeling that it evoked had only grown stronger.
The train slowed down, as a robotic female voice announced the arrival of the next station. Tomoyo looked at Yue-san with wide eyes, realizing that the train had already left his station behind it a while ago. "Why didn't you get off yet?" she asked.
"Since you were asleep and holding me like this," with his sharp eyes, Yue pointed at Tomoyo's hand which was still on his elbow.
"Gomen, Yue-san," Tomoyo immediately withdrew her hand and bowed, her head almost touching her lap. "You should have just called me," she said. Tomoyo knew that if she were sitting next to a stranger, she could not have just dozed off like that no matter how tired she felt. But with Yue-san, she always felt a strange sense of calmness, which had lulled her to sleep on that occasion. "At least you can get off now," she added as the train came to a stop next to a mostly empty platform.
Yue showed no interest in leaving his seat. "I will do that at your station. So, you can relax till we arrive there," Yue said. He had not failed to notice the dark circles beneath Tomoyo's eyes and her weariness in general throughout the day. The poor girl had been having a hard time recently, and even if he had awakened her and got off the train at his station, there was still a chance that she might fall asleep again and miss her own station.
Tomoyo leaned her head back against Yue's shoulder as the train started to move again. "I have been giving you so much trouble lately, Yue-san," she sighed apologetically.
Yue did not speak but lifted his opposite hand to touch Tomoyo's face for a brief moment. It was a simple, reassuring gesture that conveyed the silent message that it was all right, but the impact it had on the young girl was much greater. As soon as Yue's fingers made contact with her face, it seemed to Tomoyo that a spark of electricity flowed through her entire body and made her numb. The scary truth that had been chasing her steadily over the past few months, slowly but patiently reducing the distance between itself and her each time she and Yue-san met, snatched the moment to finally catch up to her and block her path. To Tomoyo, it felt like hitting a wall on which it was written in bold letters that she was deeply in love with Yue-san at that point and there was nowhere to escape. No more running away from her feelings while trying her best to fool herself, no more trying to avoid meeting him in the hope that she could forget. All those strategies were rendered futile before the terrific force of her love that emanated from her heart and became ingrained in her soul and her very existence. Tomoyo's breath hitched and a small sound escaped her throat, causing Yue-san to turn his eyes towards her again. She covered her mouth with her hand and nodded to signal that she was alright.
Once she had composed herself relatively from the initial shock of the realization, Tomoyo carefully analyzed the situation. It was not something totally unexpected. The more she got to know Yue-san, the more sure she was that her heart would fall for him someday. She knew it was not the girly kind of crush that she has witnessed girls around her having. No, that was never a possibility. She had never blushed before Yue-san to this day, and her heart never raced in his presence. In fact, the tranquility she felt by simply being by his side suggested quite the opposite. In fact, a crush would have been a more favorable situation, as they were short-lived by their very nature. Neither was it just an attraction towards his captivating handsomeness, that would dissipate if she did not see him for a few months or few years. It was definitely not the kind of feelings that she had when she thought Sakura was cute in her elementary and middle school. Rather, Tomoyo understood well enough that what she felt was the deepest, warmest, saddest and most hopeless kind of love that was there to last at least a lifetime.
Tomoyo always believed that it was impossible that she would ever fall for a man. She never spared a second glance at the most popular senpai from her school and college and remained indifferent to the movie stars whose charming smiles made girls of her age swoon. Her attitude towards boys was friendly, but aloof, and she had often overheard her classmates gossip about how Daidouji-san would never go out with anyone. She was partly grateful for such gossip, as it discouraged most boys from asking her out, and the few who were foolish enough to ignore the warnings from their classmates were politely turned down. But Yue-san was different, Tomoyo thought as she felt the softness of the peach colored fabric of his shirt against her cheek, and inhaled the vanilla snow cone like scent that characterized Yue-san. Yue-san was a man, but not an ordinary human. He was both beautiful and graceful, delicate and sensitive. He possessed the very traits that Tomoyo admired, and his integrity, his offhanded kindness and his terse but sincere words were enough to make her moonstruck by the man whose powers reflected the pure aura of the moon. The man who sat next to her, gazing out of the window with a placid expression on his face would always be the most important person in her life.
It troubled Tomoyo a bit to consider what Yue-san would think if he found out about her true feelings. He had known her since she was an elementary school kid. Would he consider her having such feelings for him as repulsive and distasteful? Yet Tomoyo knew that there was nothing disgusting about her feelings for him, despite the somewhat strange circumstances of their acquaintance. At the core of her feelings was still the desire to see Yue-san happy, and besides they only started getting to know each other properly a few months ago, not when she was a child. Tomoyo could tell that he did not dislike her company, and even cared for her in a way which did not quite seem to her like the big brother type of concern that his other form held for her. Of course, he never displayed any romantic interest in her either. Had the two of them been the only stakeholders in their relationship, she would have confessed her feelings to him at that very instant she realized them. She would have probably held his hand and told him softly that she loved him endlessly when the train stopped at the previous station and he refused to deboard for her sake. But that was not to be, because there was Tsukishiro-san and Touya onii-san and their selfless love for each other. Even if Yue-san returned her feelings, what were they to do about it? How could she get to be with Yue-san without taking Tsukishiro-san away from Touya onii-san? She knew that neither she nor Yue-san could be that selfish after knowing what the two best friends who loved each other had been through. Rather, her feelings might just open the Pandora's box and jeopardize whatever little peace and stability the other three people in question had in their lives. This is why the truth was scary to her in the first place.
Tomoyo clenched her fists. Why can't I just be like a normal girl and do what everyone else does? Why is my fate so sadistic? I once thought I liked someone only to learn a few months later that she is my cousin! And now I find myself in love with someone who is an alternate form of the man that my other cousin is in love with! Can even kami-sama help me out of this horrible mess? For the first time, Tomoyo felt a certain extent of anger against Clow Reed's cruel plan of fusing the identities of two different persons into one.
Yue kept a watch over Tomoyo out of the corner of his eyes. The girl looked even paler than she did that afternoon, and she winced slightly as if she was in some sort of pain. He had known Tomoyo well enough to understand that the girl wouldn't tell him anything even if he asked what was bothering her. Thankfully, he had decided not to leave her midway. It was better to ensure that she reached home safely since she did not look well. Her hands were clutching the fabric of his shirt sleeve again, and her eyes remained shut while she rested against him, as the train rumbled on towards its destination. It seemed that the young girl was getting quite used to having him around, and the thought did not please him very much. Daidouji-san, you fool! You held me like this today, and I could not leave. But for how long? Will you stop me from leaving tomorrow? Or the day after that? Or the next day? I have to leave within a year, Daidouji-san, so please don't hold onto me like this. I don't want to hurt you Daidouji-san, I don't want you to know the same pain that Clow has left me with, Yue wanted to scream in Tomoyo's ears, but all that came out of his mouth was a soft sigh.
So, TomoYue was confirmed in this chapter. Please review and provide feedback. It really helps in putting new chapters up for a fandom that seems to be largely dead. Thanks.