The 13th chapter is here. I am expecting that there would be 4-5 more chapters till the end of this story.
Thanks for the reviews.
Andrena Bui - I am glad that you find TomoYue cute. I suppose gender is the last thing that the characters in cardcaptor sakura care about, and Ruby Moon is genderless, canonically. You are so right about Yue being lonely. I disliked it that they made him sort of useless in the Clear Card arc. There is some drama in this chapter, so hope it is somewhat close to what you expected.
Wonderbabe: it is very nice to know that you are enjoying my writing so much. Honestly, I don't expect many earnest readers, especially from this fandom, so it feels really good to have an exception. Let me try to address some of your comments.
1. Meiling is my favorite girl too, I think her development from being an annoying brat to a loving and dependable friend was the most wholesome thing in the series. I wanted her to have a small, but key role in this story.
2. I think that there is not much awkwardness between Tomoyo and Yue, despite their feelings, since Tomoyo is mature and handles her feelings responsibly, and Yue also understands that, so he is not on the edge all the time he is with her. I want to write Tomoyo and Yue as two people who feel perfectly comfortable being with each other. Hopefully, next chapters would be able to illustrate more of that.
3. I would have loved to include more of Kaito and Akiho in the story, but honestly, I don't know how to write them at all, due to so many unknown factors, as their arc is not complete yet. I don't feel comfortable deviating from canon too much in terms of the character portrayals. I doubt Kaito-san is a bad guy, but we still don't know what he will eventually do. I hope he does not realize that he has any romantic feelings for Akiho anytime soon, haha. I am not against age gap relationships (as my other stories would prove), and think they can be endearing if done properly (i.e. both characters being mature despite age gap). However, it is rarely done properly in animes (especially Clamp), which makes me upset. Anyway, I do like Momo-Akiho-Kaito more than Eriol's group, so hope they all get a satisfying arc.
4. Regarding your premonitions about Yue potentially disappearing, it is something which he intends to do himself, since he believes that he is in the way of Touya and Yukito's relationship, and he has no other purpose to exist, since Sakura does not need his support much anymore. Honestly, Clear Card made both the guardians kind of useless, which I could not appreciate. Yukito gets to retain his consciousness even when Yue manifests himself, and Yukito can even use magic on his own. So, the poor moon guardian really has nothing to do, and to be truthful, Sakura always cared about Yukito way more than Yue. So, obviously Yue would undergo some existential crisis at some point. Yue's line of thought in this direction is already elaborated in Chapter 3 (the deal between Touya-Yuki and Yue) and also in Chapter 8.
5. Regarding what will happen eventually, if I was the reader, I would have trusted Touya's word and judgement at this point, that it will be all right. That guy knows what he is doing, and generally manages to save everyone.
Please keep reading and sharing your thoughts, but expect more sadness in the subsequent chapters. Thanks for your in-depth reviews.
The lyrics of the song in this chapter are not mine, but translated by me.
Touya closed the door of his room softly as he entered, taking in the cozy ambience of the space. A heater emitted a warm glow in a corner, and next to it, a futon was laid out. His best friend and true love was curled up beneath the blankets on the futon. His sister had baked a cake, and his father had cooked a hearty dinner to celebrate Yukito's birthday and Christmas. The sound of things being moved around was coming from the opposite room that belonged to his sister, along with the sounds of whispered voices. The monster and her stuffed beast were probably turning the wardrobe upside down trying to pack her bags for her upcoming trip to Hong Kong. Touya smiled softly to himself.
"Oye, Yuki, got you a slice of cake," Touya said. When the only other person in the room did not answer, he went and sat beside him. He stabbed a small piece of cake with a fork and pushed it past Yukito's lips. The young man opened his lovely hazel brown eyes as the sweetness invaded his taste buds.
"Not enthusiastic about cake? That's odd. You love them even if they are made by a monster like Sakura," Touya observed.
"I guess I am full with Fujitaka-san's cooking. You have some," he sat up slowly, cut a piece with the fork and brought it to Touya's mouth. Touya grimaced in a pretense of dislike for his sister's baking skills, but accepted the piece nonetheless. "Oye silly bunny, are you planning to ruin the last few hours of your birthday, by not telling me what is going on here?" Touya placed a strong arm around Yukito's neck, and ruffled his gray hair.
"I was not born Touya, I do not have any birthday. It is just a silly date fabricated to get me into school and stuff. Fake, like the rest of my identity. It feels so wrong to fool Fujitaka-san year after year. His enthusiasm in trying to make it a happy day for me every year makes me feel so selfish," he said slowly.
"Sakura and dad find happiness in doing these things for you, why don't you just let them have it?" Touya said, looking up at the ceiling. "Though you are not wrong. Eventually, we should tell dad the truth," Touya said.
"I hope I can be forgiven on that day," Yukito said.
"You will be as much loved as you are today. Do you think dad would judge you for something that was beyond your control?" Touya patted his friend's shoulder. Yukito smiled a bit, but it disappeared again.
"Toya, it has been six months since Yue-san agreed to our plan," Yukito said.
"So?" Touya raised an eyebrow.
"Sometimes I think that things have improved, as I don't feel that pain as often anymore. But it also makes me somewhat scared," he said. "What if we cause him even greater pain through all these?" he questioned thoughtfully.
"Whether he receives pain or comfort will be dependent on his own decision. Yue is not a kid, and we are not forcing him to pick anything at this point," Touya tried to reason with the more emotional man.
"Is he free to decide anything for his own happiness though, when I have practically hijacked his life?" Yukito said. "What if he still decides to disappear after another six months?" he added
"So, what do you want to do about it? Give up on attending university, and throw away years of hard work? Would Yue be happier with that?" Touya questioned.
The words made Yukito reconsider. He scrunched his brows. "He won't be. He should have hated me, and yet he cares for me," he said sadly. "I want to meet this strange person Toya," he added longingly.
"I would help you fulfill that wish," Touya said.
"Kero-chan said that it is impossible without the power of Clow, which has disappeared from the earth. Sometimes, I feel it might have been better had you just accepted that our stars are jinxed, and let us both disappear all those years ago. At least fewer people's feelings would have been involved back then as compared to now," Yukito said in a dull voice.
"I don't regret saving you both even for a moment. The fact that there are more people whose happiness are tied to the two of you now, simply means that there is even more reason to fight. I don't care how misaligned our stars are. I will change their paths if I have to, and put an end to this silly game of the madman called Clow Reed," Touya balled his fists in determination. "I won't give up, Yuki, so please stay with me a while longer. We are getting close," Touya said.
Yukito reached for Touya's hand, interlocking their fingers. "Always," he said, lifting their hands, placing his lips on the tan skin of Touya's knuckles lightly. "I think I am starting to sense what you are planning to do," he said softly, leaning against the man next to him. The man who had been the only light and hope he had known in his life.
At that moment, there was a loud thud in the opposite room, followed by Sakura's angry voice. She seemed to be scolding the sun guardian. "Oye Yuki, finish this up, while I go and ask the kaiju to keep it down," Touya said, handing the plate with the cake slice to his friend. He then left the room, muttering about the difficulty of sleeping and studying while sharing the house with monsters.
On New Year's day, Sonomi took her young daughter to the shrine as per their annual ritual, which also involved meeting her late cousin's family at the shrine. Fujitaka showed up soon with the two young men that usually accompanied him on such occasions. Sakura was visiting Hong Kong, so it was just the three of them that year. Yukito muffled a yawn softly against the scarf wrapped around his neck as they exchanged new year's greetings. His tired expression caught Tomoyo's attention.
"Is Tsukishiro-san alright?" Tomoyo asked, concealing the apprehension in her voice to the best of her ability. If she learned that he was hungry and exhausted all the time all over again, then it could not be good news for anyone.
"Yeah, he was up all night doing some obscure calculus that gives an approximate solution for the eccentricity of some obscure planet's orbit I suppose," Touya muttered.
"That's how you spent the first night of the year?" Tomoyo relaxed a bit, smiling. Although they were on a semester break, research never stopped for the ones pursuing advanced degrees, and she knew that.
"Yeah, it can't be helped when you are in grad school," Yukito lifted an arm to scratch the back of his head. "Touya works really hard on his research too," he added.
"At least my research is on practically useful compounds, not stuff that we cannot even see from this earth," Touya grumbled.
"At least my hands do not reek of lab chemicals all day," Yukito followed up with a friendly retort. "Fujitaka-san and I are on the same team when it comes to studying obscure things," he turned to the older man for support.
The professor nodded kindly. "Come on now, you both are doing well in research. Keep those academic battles for another day, for today is the first day of the year" he lightly placed his hands over the shoulders of both the young men. "Find something more fun to do today, all right?" he said pleasantly.
"Toya, let's go and check out the fukubukuro stalls," Yukito tugged his friend's sweater sleeves with a childlike excitement. "Tomoyo-chan will love them. We will get one for Sakura too," he added. His eyes sparkled, looking at the cute stands that lined the street that led up to the shrine. Many shop owners had set up their temporary stalls in an attempt to sell the new year's tradition to the shrine goers. (See A/N #1 at the end)
"You are such a kid," Touya huffed, but followed the direction of his friend's gaze regardless
"Let's go Tomoyo-chan," Yukito waved at the young girl with a friendly smile.
"Go, Tomoyo-chan," Sonomi smiled, sensing a slight hesitation from her daughter. "May you all hit your luck with the fukubukuro. Kinomoto sensei and I shall wait here," she added.
"Kinomoto sensei," Sonomi said as she took the seat next to her former high school teacher in a relatively quieter part of the shrine's front yard, once the younger people had left in their hunt for the new year's surprise purchase. "There's something that I wanted to talk to you about," she elaborated.
"Mochiron," Fujitaka said in an encouraging tone.
"Who is Yue, might I ask?" Sonomi went straight to the point.
"Yue?" Fujitaka simply repeated the question, adjusting the frame of his glasses on the bridge of his nose.
"You don't know either?" The disappointment was evident on Sonomi's friends. "And yet Tomoyo told me that he is a dear friend of Sakura and Touya," she added.
"Is it so?" the professor seemed to be thinking. "Yue, hmm! I seem to have heard that name a few times around the house, when Touya-kun, Tsukishiro-kun and Sakura-chan talk among themselves. "Oh wait, I heard his name directly recently. If only I can remember," he ran his fingers through his brown hair, which showed streaks of gray.
"You are getting old, Kinomoto-sensei. And that head of yours is always full of thoughts about ancient relics to notice anything happening in the real world around you," Sonomi huffed at the guileless man her dear cousin had loved.
"You are not wrong, but at least I am still going strong in health unlike someone else," Fujitaka chuckled, not paying attention to the jab. "Oh, that makes me remember. Touya said Yue-kun was the one who took Tomoyo-chan to the hospital that time when you –,"
"Say something that I don't know already," Sonomi interrupted. She was disappointed again at the lack of new information.
"Sonomi-san, what's wrong?" This time Fujitaka seemed a bit more serious.
"That strange boy is most likely involved with my girl. No, I am quite sure of it," Sonomi said in a dark voice.
"I don't see the problem. Tomoyo-chan is not a child anymore. She is a wise and intelligent young lady. Sonomi-san, you shouldn't worry so much. It is not good for your health," Fujitaka said cautiously. The memory of Sonomi's recent medical condition was still fresh in everyone's mind.
"It is very easy for you to say," Sonomi snapped again. "Kinomoto-sensei, it is not that I would stop her from seeing him, so why doesn't Tomoyo tell me anything about this boy's background if nothing is odd? Why make him seem so mysterious?" she said.
"If my children and Tsukishiro-kun trust Yue, then he has my trust too, Sonomi-san," Fujitaka replied seriously, "You should also believe your daughter if she trusts him," he added.
"I never said that this Yue is an untrustworthy person. Rather, I have received enough information to believe that he did help Tomoyo at the hospital on that occasion. But there is something strange going on, which I don't quite understand. And it makes me restless," Sonomi clasped her face with her hands. "Kinomoto-sensei, Tomoyo has got her father's selflessness. His heart too. The older she gets, the more clearly I can see it, and that's what scares me. I don't want her to end up like that fool. If he trusted people less, he would perhaps be alive today," Sonomi said in a muffled voice.
Fujitaka contemplated for a moment. Sonomi had vaguely mentioned that her husband had died in a staged accident. However, it was something that he knew her to actively avoid talking about, so he did not press her on the topic. Her worry over her young daughter was not entirely unjustified, considering that she was likely to have business rivals, who might desire to harm her family. However, it could be something else entirely. Fujitaka had an inkling of the fact that everything in his household was not normal. Both Sakura and Touya were special, as was their mother. This Yue might be related to the stuff that Fujitaka never quite understood. "Sonomi-san, I will try to see if I can find out more about this person called Yue," he offered gently.
"Don't go about asking the kids directly, you will not get any answer," Sonomi said.
"I know that already," the man laughed softly.
"Meiling-chan asked this boy to accompany Tomoyo-chan to the music festival next week. Can you believe it? I wish I was not traveling that week, but I have to. I just don't get why the kids trust him so much, but wouldn't tell us anything about him," she stopped talking as she noticed that her daughter was walking back towards them with Touya and Yukito, all three of them carrying some cutely wrapped bags in their hands.
On the day of the music festival, Tomoyo and Yue met at the station. "Sorry that you had to come so early," Tomoyo tried to smile.
"My decision to accompany you was not made in a state of ignorance of the time or any other factors," Yue said in his characteristic manner.
There was not much conversation on the way, even though it took over an hour to get to their destination in the heart of Tokyo city. On the way, Tomoyo thought about the gift she had given Yue. Maybe he did not even open it , she pondered with a sigh. She would be lying if she told herself that she was not even a bit disappointed, but more than that, she was relieved that Yue-san had elected to not bring up the topic. If he suspected the purpose of the gift and confronted her about it, Tomoyo knew that she would have no choice but to confess her feelings.
"It is fine to feel the way that you do, Tomoyo-chan. Don't ever allow yourself to think that it is selfish of you to want Yue-san to return your feelings. If all you think about is other people, you stop caring about yourself. That's what you have always been doing. Always giving up your own share of happiness for others. It is perfectly fair to want something for yourself for once, so please tell him on that day, all right?" Meiling had whispered those words, away from Sakura and Syaoran's ears as she had hugged Tomoyo in the airport before boarding her return flight with the other two. Tomoyo knew that Meiling was not wrong, but she did not feel ready yet. It was not shyness, but the fear of overstepping his boundaries which kept her silent about her true feelings. (See A/N #2 at the end)
Tomoyo's first performance at the event was with her choir group. The composition went off perfectly, just as they had practiced it, much to the relief of the sensei who was in charge of their music club activities, and the president of the music club. After the performance, amidst the cheerful optimism of the club members on the prospect of winning an award for the performance, Tomoyo slipped away from the rest of the group. She found Yue sitting at the back of the auditorium. Fortunately, there was an empty seat beside him, and Tomoyo quietly occupied it. The next performance from the music club of another college had already started, so they sat in silence till it ended, Yue's eyes fixed on his phone screen, he appeared to be reading something.
"This sort of event is not to your liking after all," Tomoyo said softly as the applause died down after the performance.
"What makes you infer as such?" Yue responded without looking up.
"You were looking at the phone the whole time," she replied.
"I don't mind listening to your voice. The rest are not worth my time," Yue said.
If another man had said something similar to her, Tomoyo would have dismissed it instantly as a poor attempt at trying to get her attention through flattery. However, she knew Yue-san was being bluntly honest, as his nature was. The prospect of him trying to flirt with her was out of the question since his eyes never even made contact with hers as he said it. However, that knowledge did not prevent the tiny flutter she felt around her heart. Tomoyo took a moment to process it. What was it? Happiness? The feeling of being acknowledged by the one she cared for the most? "You are mean, Yue-san," she finally turned her face away with a smile. "Sometimes," she added in a quieter voice.
"Perhaps," Yue replied in his usual monosyllabic fashion.
After several other group performances, there was a break for lunch. When Tomoyo walked out of the auditorium she was approached by the president of the music club. The good looking young man wore a bright smile on his face.
"Daidouji-san, you were wonderful back there. I mean, your voice that is," he cleared his throat. "Thanks to you, it looks like we will secure the first place award. It is an honor to be the president of the club that you are in," he tried to put on his best smile.
"I am glad that everyone did well, Katsuo senpai," Tomoyo replied politely. From the eyes of the young man before her, she could plainly see that he was eager to become a part of the list of the few unfortunate fellows who got turned down by her. A repressed irritation bubbled up inside her. Different faces, but the same flattering words, same smiles, same naïveté. It was tiresome.
"As a token of my appreciation, let me buy you lunch today. There is a nice cafeteria in the building. Let's go there –,"
"I am sorry, but I can't," Tomoyo said firmly.
"Wh- Why not?" Katsuo, the president of the music club stuttered.
"I intend to have the lunch that I have brought for myself," Tomoyo said, realizing her words were not polite like her usual self, but incisive, and to her own ears, she almost sounded like someone else. Someone who was with her till a few moments ago. She glanced around helplessly, and found that Yue-san had quietly slipped away while her senpai was talking to her.
"I see," Katsuo was disappointed. But he did not give up. "We can still go to the cafeteria. It will be a good opportunity to discuss your upcoming solo performance over lunch. I can help if you have any last moment anxieties or concerns, and share a few tips too," he smiled generously.
"I am sure that I will be fine. Please excuse me," Tomoyo gave a short bow and walked past the guy. Honestly, he was talking too much for her liking. She realized something at that moment. The old Tomoyo would have politely listened to this person prattle on, in his vain attempt to impress her. Probably, she would have agreed to sit with him for lunch, and endured the discomfort for the sake of politeness. Not anymore, and she felt that the unnecessary burden of being the perfect girl for everyone else all the time had been gradually getting lighter and lighter. It felt nice, and she wanted to find the person who was responsible for such an amazing change.
Yue was leaning against a tree in the outer compound of the building. His eyes were shut and his face was tilted a little upwards towards the branches. "Daidouji-san, why are you outside despite the cold?" he asked without opening his eyes.
"Because you are," Tomoyo answered as she stood before him, eyes fixed on the pale face of the man dressed in a powder blue trench coat worn over a white shirt with gray trousers. His hands were tucked inside the pockets of his coat. He finally opened his eyes.
"I thought that you would like to get food from the cafeteria," Yue mentioned, not particularly looking at her.
"I figured it would be uncomfortable for you, since people would notice that you were not eating anything at the cafeteria. So, I brought lunch for myself so that I could be with you," she said, showing him the bag she carried which contained her bento box. At that moment Yue straightened his posture and looked at her. Tomoyo instantly recognized the soft expression in Yue-san's mysterious blue eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared to be replaced by his usual glacial stare. "I mean during the lunch hour that is," Tomoyo tried to modify the last part of the previous sentence as she looked away from his eyes.
"Eat quickly," Yue said as he sat down near Tomoyo. There were a few tables and chairs in the compound. People definitely would have preferred to eat outside if the weather had been more pleasant, but no one was occupying them at that time, except the two of them.
"Why?" Tomoyo asked as she took the first bite of her food. "There is plenty of time for the solo performances to begin. They will announce the awards for the group performances first," she told him.
"The cold might affect your voice and consequently your performance if you stay out for too long," Yue reasoned. Tomoyo nodded and resumed eating. A cold wind was blowing intermittently, and she did feel a bit chilly, but it was also comforting to have Yue-san so close.
"Daidouji-san," Tomoyo turned her head at the sound of someone's voice. Three girls from her music club approached her. Great, now they will bother Yue-san, she thought ruefully. "It is a crime on your part to not introduce such a dashing boyfriend to us, even though we are in the same class and same club," one of them said jokingly. She had a reputation for being nosy.
Tomoyo placed her chopsticks down, and straightened her shoulder. "Yue-san is my friend. Your perception is not right," she said confidently. She observed that Yue-san's expression continued to remain neutral.
"Yeah right! That's why the two of you are eating alone, sharing the same lunchbox, and not with everyone else at the cafeteria. Katsuo senpai was so upset," the second girl said. All three of them seemed incredulous of Tomoyo's claim. This time, Tomoyo did not have an explanation ready. The girls were not wrong. From an outsider's perspective, it would appear just as they said.
"Is Yue senpai eating anything though?" The last of the three girls was more observant, as she remarked. Tomoyo looked towards Yue helplessly. The moon guardian calmly extended his hand and picked up a small apple from Tomoyo's lunchbox. To Tomoyo's amazement, he brought the fruit up to his lips and took a bite.
"Ne, Yue senpai, which college do you attend?" the first girl said. Her burning curiosity about the handsome young man was not satisfied yet.
"I don't," Yue answered.
"Cool, so you have graduated already. Must be going to university then. How long have you known Daidouji-san?" she asked again.
"Since she was in elementary school," Yue calmly responded, taking a second bite of the apple held between his fingers.
"Aww, childhood crush turned into boyfriend, so cute," the person who had asked the question and the one next to her cooed.
"It is not. Please don't just assume things," Tomoyo stood up from her chair, and placed her hands on the table decidedly. "I hardly ever met him back then," she said, not sure why she had to explain that part.
Fortunately, the third of the girls who had not spoken much, sensed Tomoyo's discomfort. "Let's go you two, I am hungry too," she tugged the arms of her two friends trying to get their attention. "Pleased to have made your acquaintance, Yue-san," she gave a small bow, as she pulled her reluctant friends away. Yue gave a brief nod, and Tomoyo sat down with a sigh of relief. He raised his hand to bring the apple to his lips again. Tomoyo grasped his wrist with both of her hands at that point.
"Please stop, Yue-san," she said. "You do not have to eat sand for my sake," she said, her eyes fixed on his hand and the partially eaten fruit held by it.
"Sand?" One of Yue's silver eyebrows went up marginally.
"You are not supposed to eat right? Kero-chan had once said that food will probably taste like sand to you if you tried. Who knows what else might go wrong," Tomoyo explained.
"Nothing much. Except that I might lose my wings and be cast away to the depths of hell for the sin of eating an apple," Yue responded.
Tomoyo's hand tightened around Yue's wrist. She could feel his pulse underneath his pale skin with her thumb. "That's not funny," she said, but a small smile crept to her lips.
"I have not eaten anything, Daidouji-san," Yue said. "The pieces that I bit off just disappeared. There would have been further interrogations otherwise from your fellow students," he explained.
"You used magic," Tomoyo said.
"Finish your food," Yue said, not bothering to affirm the obvious, as Tomoyo watched the apple in his hand steadily becoming translucent. Finally, there was nothing left of it. It was then that Tomoyo realized that she was still holding his wrist awkwardly.
"Right," Tomoyo pulled her hands back and picked up her chopsticks. "I am very sorry," she bowed. "That my classmates think that we,-" she trailed off. "That we are -," she tried to continue.
"In a relationship," Yue completed the sentence, sensing his companion's hesitancy. Tomoyo nodded silently. "It doesn't matter to me what humans think or say," he added.
"But you didn't have to say that you knew me since I was in elementary school though. You didn't even refute their assumption. They thought that I was just being coy," Tomoyo said. Yue noticed a very light shade of pink on her cheeks which could as well be attributed to the cold.
"I am not accustomed to lying, Daidouji-san," Yue said. Tomoyo did not respond immediately but chewed her food quietly. It seemed that the answer was not satisfactory to her. "If their impression of us bothers you so much, I don't mind leaving this instant," he offered. He wondered for a moment if he was mistaken in his interpretation of the gift he received from Tomoyo. The gift he had put out of his sight in a dark corner of his drawer. It did not mean that he was able to cast it out of his mind though.
Tomoyo stopped eating again. "Yue-san, is that all you can say? As if your leaving is the solution to everything. Earlier also, you left my side without even telling, and just came here. I had to look everywhere to find you. It hurts," she lowered her head. It seemed that she was upset.
"I thought I might be in the way," Yue said calmly.
"In the way of what? Of that senpai who was trying to flirt with me?" Tomoyo raised her head defiantly, her voice raising above her normal level. "You do not enjoy such attention yourself, what makes you think that I would?" she continued in an agitated voice.
"Daidouji-san, calm down," Yue said. He was somewhat surprised by the emotional response from the normally composed girl, and also scared of her fragile state of mind.
"Forgive me," Tomoyo took a deep breath. "I am a human, Yue-san. Unlike you, it is not easy for me to completely dismiss the words and impressions of other people. But it would bother me much more if you distanced yourself from me because you thought that I would be affected by what other people might say or think," she said, relatively calmly.
"I see," Yue said.
After having a few mouthfuls of food, Tomoyo spoke again. "Yue-san, I wanted to ask something. When you used magic to make the apple disappear, what actually happened to it?" she asked. "According to physical laws, matter cannot be destroyed," she added.
"But it can be converted to energy. It simply returned to its constituent elements," Yue answered. His eyes were watching the gray sky above their heads.
"The constituent elements?" Tomoyo sought an elaboration.
"Earth, water, fire, wind and void," Yue explained.
"Earthy, Watery, Firy, Windy and Nothing," Tomoyo slowly uttered the name of the corresponding cards. She appeared to be thinking deeply about something.
After lunch, the program commenced again. First, the results of the group performance category were announced by the judges. Tomoyo's music club came in the second place. The president of the club accepted the award on the stage with a big grin on behalf of everyone else, while Tomoyo sat quietly beside Yue at the back of the auditorium. The individual performances were to start next. After the first few participants had performed, Tomoyo got up from her seat. "I shall be back soon," she said softly, and proceeded to the designated area for the participants once Yue had acknowledged her statement with a brief nod of his silver head.
"There you are, Daidouji-san," the club president walked up to her. "We did not win the group performance category, but you have to win the individual category. I know you will," he said with a smile, but it seemed that the young man's lively spirit from the morning was considerably dampened.
"Let's just hope it goes well," Tomoyo replied.
"Of course it will, you have practiced it so much. Ganbatte kudasai," Katsuo said throwing an energetic punch to the air, trying to channel his remaining enthusiasm into the participant he had selected to represent the club and the institution at the event.
When Tomoyo walked on the stage a while later, she was dazzled by the bright lights momentarily. She walked to the microphone and stood before it. On such an occasion, usually, her mind would buzz aloud with the lines that she would deliver. But at that moment, all that she could feel was an urgent need to tell something to Yue-san before the waning moon from her dreams disappeared completely. Something that she hoped was just enough to make him stay forever. There was a small sound signaling her that it was time to begin her composition. However, to her horror, Tomoyo found that she could not recall a single line of the song she had carefully practiced and prepared. Instead, a different song was swirling through her heart, and taking over her mind, begging her voice to set its words free. The clock was ticking, and the judges as well as the audience were wondering why she was still silent. Yue-san was sitting there, somewhere at the back. She could not see his face from the stage but hoped that he could see hers. The clock was still ticking. Tomoyo raised her hand to the microphone. A melodious voice flooded the auditorium in the next moment.
A song visited me last night, when you were not by my side
Yearning to tell you something, my days passed amidst silent tears
I found my words, as the music flared up in a blaze that lit the darkness.
But you were not by my side.
Yue watched, unable to move his eyes away from the young girl on the stage, dressed in a jet black skirt and a violet top with flared elbow length sleeves. Her dark hair fell over her right shoulder in a single neatly done plait, and a blue flower pendant adorned her neck. As had happened before, her beautiful singing voice made him momentarily forget his pain, his memories of Clow Reed, his agreement with his other form and the man who loved his other form. How he adored this voice which stirred his soul every time it entered his ears. Her singing voice was the only thing that made him feel like it was actually worth living another day, if only to listen to her sing again. The song continued after the brief interlude.
When the day came, I wanted to gift you that song
The fragrance of the blossoms drift aimlessly, birdsong fills the sky
Yet, my words don't keep tune with my melody, however hard I try
When you are right here by my side.
As the song ended, its meaning settled over Yue slowly and heavily. In another world, perhaps he could acknowledge its meaning. Perhaps he could even pay a tribute to the voice that sung the song, by expressing how much he adored the voice as well as the owner of that voice. That could have been possible in a world, where he could claim ownership of his own life. Daidouji-san was truly a blessing in his life, a blessing that he did not ask for, and did not deserve. The feelings he now knew for sure that she had unexpectedly developed for him were too precious for him to claim. At that moment, Yue felt that he was that hapless fellow who had to turn down the most priceless treasure, because he was too poor to afford a place to keep it safe.
As the echoing applause after the song died down, Yue's ears picked up an angry voice that came from the exit near the side of the stage. He had lost track of Tomoyo while he was brooding over his fate. He got up and proceeded towards the exit.
"Daidouji-san, what the hell was that? You just threw away our great chance at winning. Sensei is upset. We all are," Katsuo said in an accusatory tone.
Yue saw that Tomoyo leaning against the wall in the hall outside the auditorium. Her hands were clasped behind her.
"I forgot the lyrics of the song that I had practiced. I am sorry," Tomoyo kept her head straight and her chin up.
"You forgot? Why? Had too much fun with your pretty boyfriend during lunch or something?" Katsuo was livid. The rumor about Tomoyo's mysterious boyfriend who looked like someone from the pages of a fairy tale book had reached the club president's ears, and the man was not happy to learn that his chances at getting the attention of the girl he fancied was even lesser than he had estimated. Tomoyo's unexpected performance snapped his restraint, and gave him an outlet to vent his frustration. "I told you that we could go over any issues with the song that you might have over lunch, but you ignored my help. Damn, all you rich people are so irresponsible. Just because your family is rich and powerful, you think that you can do as you please," he fumed in a loud voice.
Yue had heard enough. If it was a civil conversation he would have allowed Tomoyo to deal with it on her own. It was her own life after all, and a magical being such as himself should not have a part to play in it, as he reminded himself again and again lately. However, he could not stand back and let someone berate and humiliate her unjustly. He stepped forward and stood beside Tomoyo.
"I will not allow you to speak to Daidouji-san in such a disparaging manner," Yue pierced the man with his steely blue gaze.
"Well, I am sorry, but I have a right to be upset since your precious girl ruined our chances here. Forget about getting the first position, we would not even make it to the top five. I won't be surprised if we get disqualified from the contest," the young man took a step back, but did not lower his voice.
"Have the results of the contest been announced?" Yue asked in a frosty voice, ignoring the young man's attempt to bait him into having a heated confrontation.
"Only a fool would wait for it after such a fiasco," Katsuo said arrogantly.
"Since the event is not over yet, your criticism of Daidouji-san's performance is both untimely and unjust. Further, half of your comments are crude and unrelated to her performance. If she wins the contest, you will apologize to her for your insolence," Yue said with another deadly glare.
"If she wins?" Katsuo let out a sarcastic laugh. "After freezing before the microphone for over a minute? Sounds fine to me," he crossed his arms on his chest. "And if she doesn't win, she will be the one to apologize, which she should have done anyway, but haven't," he added.
A small crowd had gathered around them, mainly consisting of the students from Tomoyo's music club. "Demo, Katsuo senpai, we should really wait for the result. I liked the song very much. Most of the audience did too, you could tell by the applause," the girl who had drawn her friends away from Yue and Tomoyo during lunch said.
"They applauded because her voice just sounds good to the ears. But the judges cannot be fooled so easily," the young man balled his fists. "They look for technical perfection, which cannot be achieved on a momentary whim, but through rigorous practice," he emphasized.
"Katsuo senpai, if what you are saying turns out to be true, you will get your apology by the end of the day. I will also withdraw myself from your club, that's all," Tomoyo said firmly, and turned away from the small group of people.
A few of the other members of the music club objected. Tomoyo was the best singer in the group by a mile, and everyone knew it. "I never said anything about you having to leave. Geez!" Katsuo seemed to finally start realizing that he had overreacted on the matter.
Tomoyo turned the corner, and proceeded to stand before a window with closed glass panes. Yue followed her there. He felt somewhat guilty since he knew that he was indirectly responsible that Tomoyo's performance did not go as planned, and she had to face harsh criticism and unkind words.
"As long as things go as per their expectation, they keep calling me the perfect girl. A single mistake, and I am the selfish, privileged, rich girl," she suppressed a small laugh as she sat down on the ledge of the window. "Yue-san, humans are just like that. I am so happy that you are not one of them," she added.
"You are upset," Yue placed a hand on her head, His fingers lightly sliding over the smooth dark hair.
"No. it feels nice. Yue-san. This is the first time in my life that I have done something that I wanted to do, despite knowing others wouldn't like or understand it. It was perhaps selfish, but still it feels nice to be able to reach out for myself," Tomoyo said.
"So you didn't forget the planned lyrics?" Yue questioned.
"Actually, I did," Tomoyo sounded a bit embarrassed. "Everyone would have been less displeased if I just excused myself, and politely requested another chance. But at that moment, I did not want to be the perfect girl. It just felt right to sing what I wanted to," she explained. Yue silently withdrew his hand from her head.
At that moment, Katsuo stormed past them, clutching his backpack and not bothering to glance back. The rest of the music club members followed. Another guy from the senior class approached Tomoyo. "Katsuo insists that there is no point in waiting till the end. We would have still waited but he would be more upset if we did. He is really silly," he said apologetically.
"It is quite alright," Tomoyo said brusquely.
"Well, Daidouji-san, see you at the college after the break. And I also think your song was very nice," the young man told her, and a few girls behind him waved as they walked past.
"Well, Yue-san, I suppose we should leave too. We can return home earlier than expected," Tomoyo suggested after the group had disappeared into the elevator at the end of the hall.
"I think you should wait for the results," Yue said calmly.
"Although Katsuo senpai was angry, he does have a point. I don't think that they will even consider me for the awards," Tomoyo said.
"I think you still have a fair chance," Yue said.
"Nani? Do you have the power to see the future or something?" Tomoyo said, not taking the words seriously.
Yue shook his head to deny the idea. He proceeded to lean on the opposite edge of the window so that he was facing her. His arms were crossed on his chest. "Daidouji-san, do you remember which cards were under my jurisdiction?" he asked calmly.
"I think so. Why?" Tomoyo raised her eyes on her friend's young face.
"The Song, The Voice and The Silence, these three cards were placed under me, which means that I have the power to judge those qualities. A musical rendition relies on the perfect balance of these three aspects, and I could not find a flaw in yours," Yue explained.
"Hontou?" there was a fresh spark of hope in Tomoyo's eyes as she reached for Yue's hand. Yue took it in both of his hands, feeling the coldness of her skin.
"You did freeze for over a minute initially, and you changed your composition at the last moment. I do not know how such things might affect your points, nor do I have the ability to see the future. But I am willing to wait for it," he tugged on her hand a bit, to encourage her to get up. Tomoyo complied silently, allowing Yue to lead her back to the auditorium.
When they were back at their seats, Tomoyo sat silently beside the moon guardian. By her nature, she was not a confrontational person, and felt somewhat drained of her energy by the unpleasant interaction she was forced to have with her club president a while ago. She gave a sideways glance to the quiet man beside her. Yue-san, did you open my gift? Did my feelings reach you? Was my song powerful enough to break into your cold heart? If you keep staying silent, perhaps I shall never know, she thought as she leaned her head back into her seat and closed her eyes .
She opened her eyes again at the sound of a deep voice and the feel of a hand nudging her shoulder gently. "Daidouji-san, you are being called on the stage," Yue-san was telling her. She walked up to the stage in a daze.
"Omedetou gozaimasu," a lady on the stage extended her hand to her, smiling. She recognized her as a popular singer, invited to act as one of the judges in the event. She had not heard her name being called, and hence she was not sure which award she was receiving. She extended her hand and received the award trophy.
"You were wonderful Daidouji-san. Your soulful singing has charmed everyone's hearts," the lady said encouragingly.
I had only hoped that it would find its way into just one person's heart, Tomoyo thought, as she returned the smile politely.
"It is an honor to present you the first place award for the solo composition category," the judge stated. "I am sure that you will do exceptionally well if you want to consider a career in music," she continued.
Yue-san was actually right! Tomoyo realized. "Arigatou," she bowed first to the judges and then to the audience. "I am thankful that it was well received,," she said.
After the photos were taken and the congratulations were said, Tomoyo got off the stage amidst a resounding applause from the audience. Her eyes searched for Yue-san. Yue had risen from his seat, and was putting his coat on. "Yue-san," Tomoyo walked up to him in hasty steps, glancing up at the taller man. She wanted to hug him at that moment, but settled for a bow. "Your conjecture was right," she said with her head lowered, so that she was looking at the polished surface of his shoes.
"You did well," soft, warm fingers touched Tomoyo's cheek momentarily. "Like a little songbird," he muttered softly.
"What?" Tomoyo raised her head. There was another round of applause as the second place winner was being called on stage. The last part of Yue's remark was drowned out by that sound.
"It's nothing," Yue's hands were back inside his pockets. "Let's go before it gets too late," he said.
A/Ns:
1. Fukubukuro is a Japanese new year tradition where people buy gift bags filled with unknown random objects, if anyone is wondering. I guess it is a fun way to test your luck for that year.
2. "But if all you think about is other people, you stop caring about yourself" - Meiling said this to Sakura in episode 16 of clear card.
Next chapter will have some more plot progress. Please review and let me know what you think. Until next time.