Chapter 30

Harry descended the spiral staircase between the 8th Year dorms and Snape's office with a nervousness that left him feeling cold. It was early for a Saturday morning, but a glance at his map had confirmed that Snape was already working in his office. Harry hadn't really spoke to the man since McGonagall had delivered the court summons and Snape had delivered his subsequent scolding. Harry should have approached the Professor after yesterday's lesson but had flaked instead, and now he was running out of time. It was a Teddy weekend and he needed to get this sorted before he left the castle.

He knocked on the door and took a deep breath, stilling his fidgeting and listening to the movement on the other side. Snape, when he opened the door, looked no less formal than he did during the week, with a black cloak over his classic black frock coat.

"Harry? Are you alright?"

"Yes, Sir. Sorry for interrupting, Sir. Have you got a minute?"

Snape looked at him curiously but opened the door wide to let him in. "Of course, sit down."

Harry sat as Snape filled a mug for him, this time with steaming coffee instead of their usual mint tea.

"What exactly can I help you with?" Severus prompted when Harry remained quiet.

"I, er, I've been writing my application for Auror training."

"Ah, and how is that going?"

"Fine," Harry shrugged. "But I, erm, need a reference and I was hoping you wouldn't mind….?"

It wasn't what Severus had expected him to say, but before he could respond Harry had already jumped in once more. "You don't have to. It's fine if you say no. I know you don't want me to join the Aurors so I get it if you won't." Severus raised a hand to hush the boy's ramblings.

"Of course I will write you a damn reference." The Professor rolled his eyes. "I am, however, surprised that you would ask me. Students generally ask their head of house."

"Yeah, but Charlie, I mean, Professor Weasley, hasn't really been our teacher for very long."

"You could have asked Professor McGonagall; she was your professor and your head of house for six years."

"But she taught me Transfiguration, they'll be more interested in Defence, won't they?" Harry looked at Snape nervously, feeling more and more like the professor would refuse to write him a reference.

"Perhaps," Severus sighed. "But, Harry, I'm not sure it's a smart decision to use me as your referee. I am not popular in the Auror Department. There are many there who believe that I should be rotting in Azkaban instead of teaching at Hogwarts. A reference from me may not be received well there."

The nervousness dropped from the Gryffindor's face as he frowned. "You're innocent."

Severus knew better than to waste his time arguing that point with the boy. "There are not many people who see things the way you do, Harry, and there is a lot of bad history between the Aurors and I. Are you sure you wouldn't rather ask the Headmistress? I am sure Minerva would be only too happy to be your referee."

Harry shrugged, "I'm sure she's really busy, I wouldn't want to bother her." There was something, briefly, in the boy's look that Severus couldn't quite put a finger on. "Besides, if they don't like my reference coming from you, then I don't want to work for them anyway."

Severus sighed at Potter's obstinance. The boy's loyalty was touching but foolish. In his chosen profession, Potter was going to come across a great number of people who considered Severus to be nothing more than a Death Eater.

"Very well, if you are sure, I would be happy to provide a reference."

"Thank you, Sir. You can send it straight to the Ministry."

Severus nodded. "Is that all you wanted to talk about? You're up very early this morning."

"Yeah, I'm visiting Teddy and Andromeda this weekend. I'll be leaving soon."

"Of course. I trust you will behave yourself over the weekend?"

Harry looked mildly sheepish but smiled softly at the gentle teasing. "Of course, Sir. Good as gold, me." He said with false innocence.

Severus gave the boy an unimpressed look. "Eight years of experience tells me otherwise. Now get out, Potter, you've taken up far too much of my Saturday already; as if I don't see enough of you during the week."

Harry outright grinned at that. "Yes, Sir, Professor." He said, rising form his seat. "Thanks, Professor. Bye Professor."

Severus had a particularly productive day. He'd had no detentions to supervise, no meetings to attend and no staff duties to complete, and had, therefore, managed to spend the day holed up in his office without any disturbances. He'd managed to mark all the 3rd Year essays, complete his lesson plans for the next fortnight and even do some reading for a personal research project. Severus therefore felt entirely justified in rewarding himself with a good drink in the Headmistress' office that evening.

Severus savoured the sip of his drink. "This is good scotch." He complimented. "Where did you get it?"

"A Christmas gift from Miss Granger."

Severus quirked an eyebrow. "She has surprisingly good taste in liquor."

Minerva smiled, "I can only hope that she asked someone for advice and hasn't become a connoisseur of dark spirits since the end of the war."

"Hm," Severus pondered that. "My bet would be Aberforth. The 8th Years are far too chummy with that old landlord."

Minerva frowned. "Yes, that is rather concerning."

Severus shrugged and tool another sip of scotch. "Speaking of our young war heroes, what have you done to Potter?"

The Scottish witch gave him a bewildered look. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Why is he avoiding you?"

"He isn't." Minerva denied. "In fact, the last I saw, you were the one in a tiff with him."

"You haven't had words with him? A scolding or a disagreement?"

"No, nothing. Why do you ask?"

Severus spared a moment to consider how to broach the subject sensitively. "I just don't recall seeing him in your office recently. I merely wondered if something had happened to cause that."

"Nothing that I can think of."

Severus remained relaxed though the headmistress was now sitting up straight in her seat. "He didn't come when you had the court summons for him this week."

"He didn't know what it was about at the time." Minerva defended. "And he said he hadn't had the time."

"He lied." Severus said simply. "He had a free period that day, and I specifically instructed him to go and see you at lunch."

The headmistress frowned but couldn't argue Severus' point. "It's a bit of a jump to say that Harry is actively avoiding me. He's an eighteen-year-old boy, I'm not expecting him to pop round for to my office for tea, but we have always got on well."

"He asked me for a reference for the Auror Department this morning."

"Oh." Severus didn't miss the disappointment that flashed upon Minerva's face before she composed herself. "Well, you are his Defence teacher, so it's not surprising."

"Which is what Potter said." Severus acknowledged.

"But you are still convinced that something has happened between us; that Harry is upset or angry with me for some reason?"

"I am." Severus answered confidently. "I can tell when Potter is lying, and he has definitely been avoiding you. If you say nothing has happened recently then it must be something residual from before the war."

Minerva put her glass down and looked at Severus intently. "You're wrong."

"What makes you so sure?"

The Headmistress rose from her seat in silence, walking away until she reached the window which overlooked the Black Lake. It was dark but floating lanterns lit the path which meandered from the castle to the water's edge and the full moon was reflected in the still surface of the lake.

"Have you ever seen Harry cast a Cruciatus?" She asked softly.

"Potter?" Severus clarified needlessly. "I doubt he's capable of producing the level of hate required."

"Well you would be mistaken." Minerva turned away from the window to pin her Deputy with a sharp look. "I take it Harry never told you about what happened in Ravenclaw Tower that night of the final battle."

Severus pursed his lips. "I thought he had; but clearly I wasn't told everything."

Minerva walked back to the armchairs, picking up the bottle of scotch and refilling both of their glasses as she spoke. "I was alerted to a disturbance in the Ravenclaw common rooms and went to see what was happening. Amycus Carrow was trying to get in, causing a ruckus because he couldn't solve the riddle and his cow of a sister was apparently inside. I let him in and we saw Alecto stunned on the floor with half of Ravenclaw looking on." Minerva sat down, trembling slightly from the memory. "Amycus was panicking, rambling about how the 'Dark lord' would punish them; how his sister had summoned him, but Potter wasn't there. He wanted to blame the children. He was going to tell Voldemort that they had attacked Alecto and forced her to touch her mark." Minerva's voice shook as she recalled her ager. "I told them that I wouldn't let him do that and he spat in my face."

Severus grimaced, disgusted by those people he had allowed to enter his school, but said nothing as Minerva continued.

"Potter appeared out of nowhere; I'm assuming he was under that cloak of his. And then he crucioed Carrow."

Severus never looked surprised. He was a spy, he couldn't afford to let his emotions show on his face. If anyone looked closely though, they might have seen the slightest tightening of the Professor's jaw as he was caught surprised. "Are you sure?" He asked quietly.

The headmistress gave him a severe look. "Of course I am sure, Severus. I was there."

"How?"

"When I asked Harry why he had done it; why he had taken the risk, he told me it was because he spat at me. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world that he should have cast an unforgivable to defend the honour of his old Professor." The witch dabbed at the corner of her eye as they became glassy with emotion. "That's how I know that Harry doesn't have an issue with me." Minerva drained her glass. "If there's something wrong with Harry, it's not because of me."

Severus clinked the ice cubes around in his glass. Perhaps then, Minerva was right and the young Gryffindor wasn't trying to avoid the Headmistress. Except that something had stopped Potter from going to her when he was told to and something had stopped him from asking McGonagall for a reference. He might be wrong about the cause of Potter's odd behaviour, but he wasn't imagining the problem.

Harry wandered sleepily down the 7th floor corridor, only half awake in the early hours of the morning and not particularly rested after his weekend away. He approached the blank space of wall to the Room of Requirement subconsciously, idly thinking of what he needed until the door appeared and he traipsed through.

"Expecto patronum!" Harry froze in the entrance as he realised the room was not set up the way he usually had it. The space was a similar size, but the dueling dummy was gone, as was the muggle style fitness equipment. The biggest different, however, was that Harry was not the only person there.

"Malfoy?"

The blond startled and turned his drawn wand towards Harry.

"Potter?" He relaxed, lowering his wand. "What are you doing here?"

"Same as you, I guess." Harry walked further into the room and slumped himself down into an armchair which was pushed up against the wall.

"I didn't think anyone could get the door if it was already being used."

Harry shrugged. "They can if they both ask for the same thing. It's how the DA used this room all of 5th year."

"Right." Draco fell elegantly into a chair nearby, crossing his long legs with an air of importance which he could never quite shake. "So what magic are you here to practice?"

"Oh, anything really." Harry answered evasively. "I woke up early and figured I might as well do something. You?"

A gentle blush appeared on Draco's porcelain cheeks and he looked away. "Defence."

"I thought your Defence grades were pretty good." Harry frowned. "I thought all your grades were good."

"They are." Draco confirmed. "It's just one spell."

Harry remembered then the spell he had heard as he entered the room. "The Patronus Charm?"

Draco grimaced, brandishing his wand again. "Expecto Patronum!"

The wand trembled with the force of Malfoy's exertion, but nothing came out of it. Not the faintest mist appeared and the magic died away without materializing.

"Ah." Harry said in understanding. "It's a tricky charm." He sympathized.

"So tricky that 60% of our class can do it." Malfoy responded bitterly. "You could do it when you were thirteen."

Harry rubbed across the back of his neck. "It's not like any of us learnt over night. I was tutored by Lupin for half the year before I was able to do it. The others learnt during our 5th year, but it still took time and a hell of a lot of practice."

"You taught them?"

Harry cringed. "Sort of."

"Could you…" Draco stopped himself.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter. It's stupid."

"For God's sake, Malfoy, what?"

Draco looked at him for a long time, a quick internal calculation of his motives.

"Would you teach me?"

Harry's mouth dropped open. "Er, I can try."

"Really?" Harry wasn't sure if Draco was more surprised that Harry had agreed to help or that he had asked for his help in the first place.

"Sure, why not?" Harry stood up and moved into the open space of the room, drawing his wand from its holster. Malfoy followed giving Harry a funny look before getting his own wand ready. "I take it it's not the mechanics of the spell that you're struggling with?"

Draco put on the haughtiest of his expressions. "I believe I have the gist of it. Of course, if you wish to demonstrate, I won't object."

Harry grinned. He flicked his wand and enchanted casually, "Expecto patronum."

His brilliant stag, blinding in the enclosed space, materialized at a cantor, galloped around the room and then returned to nuzzle into the palm of Harry's hand.

"Show off." Malfoy muttered.

"Takes one to know one." Harry smirked back, cancelling the spell. "Right, let's see what you've got."

Draco's mouth set and he lifted his wand determinedly. "Expecto patronum... expecto patronum… EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

Nothing happened.

Frustrated, Malfoy threw a blasting curse against the wall, which did little but echo around the room.

"So," Harry observed, perching on the arm of the sofa. "Not a problem with mechanics then, and I doubt it's an issue with power."

"What then?"

"It's got to be the memory. What is it you're thinking about when you cast?"

Draco looked down at the wand in his hand and said nothing.

"Fair enough." Harry answered his own question. "I get that stuff is personal, you don't have to say.

"Look, it's fine if you're having trouble coming up with a good memory. That's the reason I couldn't cast a Patronus to start with."

"Really?"

"Yeah, my life was pretty shit most of the time. It might have escaped your notice, but I didn't exactly have the greatest of childhoods." Harry said bluntly. "Dementors affect you worse if you've been through a lot of trauma and it's harder to harness a powerful memory if you're not feeling particularly happy. You've been through a lot lately, it only makes sense that you wouldn't be in the mood to cast a Patronus."

"You have been through a load of shit too, probably worse than me, how come you can still cast it?"

"It's all relative." Harry shrugged. "I've learned to look for the fun in life, savour the happy moments, however hard that sometimes seems." He explained honestly.

Draco focused his gaze on his own hands as he picked at some fluff on his school robes and spoke quietly. "I thought, maybe, that I can't cast it because…. because of the mark."

"I don't think that's true." Harry answered seriously. "Snape can cast it and he has the mark too. I think you just need to relax, lighten up a bit."

"Lighten up?" Draco asked incredulously.

Harry grinned back. "Yeah, chill out a bit." He laughed at the slight look of horror on Malfoy's face before a brief glance at his watch made him startle. "God, it's breakfast time already." He looked back at Malfoy. "I've got to go meet Ron and Hermione but I can help you some more another time if you like?"

"Sure." Draco agreed. "Perhaps at a more reasonable hour of the day next time?"

"Agreed." Harry laughed moving towards the door.

Draco paused before they left. "Why are you doing this, Potter?"

"Doing what?"

"Helping me."

"Um, because you asked me to." Harry said the slowness of an obvious answer.

"But why are you being nice at all?" Draco asked suspiciously.

"Um, I dunno." Harry frowned. "Because it's the right thing to do?"

Draco sighed. "It's not a mentality I'm used to." He admitted. "I was raised to only do something for others if it meant getting something in return."

"I get it." Harry shrugged. "I was basically raised by wolves."

Draco looked horrified for a moment before he realised Harry was joking. "Well at least we've got some good material for our school mandated therapy sessions with 'Healer Snape'."

Harry groaned. "Don't remind me. I'm pretty sure I'm still kind of in trouble with Snape."

Draco scoffed. "Merlin, Potter, when aren't you?"

"And you've had no further incidents in the dorms?" Severus checked once they had talked through Draco's plans to spend time in Versailles after Hogwarts.

"No, Severus." Draco drawled. "It's all fine."

"You will tell me if there are any problems." Snape ordered.

"And you'll do what exactly? Give them all detention until they're nice to me?"

Severus looked unimpressed. "Steps can be taken to ensure your safety, Draco. This is not a matter I take lightly."

"Relax, Severus, nothing's happened and it's not likely to. They pretty much just leave me alone."

Severus looked at him closely and seem to see truth there. "I suppose your new comradery with Potter has helped with that?"

"Are all Gryffindors so…nice?" Draco's nose scrunched up in distaste.

"There is a different standard of behaviour from our own house, that is certain." Severus said thoughtfully. "There is less expectation that help is a favour which should be returned. Potter, I believe, however, is a particularly unique case."

"Yeah," Malfoy thought of Potter's help with the Patronus charm this week. He observed the grandfather clock in the corner of Snape's office. "Time for me to go then?"

Snape looked for himself and nodded. "We'll meet again in a fortnight, but you're welcome to come and see me whenever you should need."

"Yes, I know." Draco pushed his chair back. "Night, Sir."

Severus watched his young Slytherin open the door and pause as he was met with Potter, just arriving, on the other side of the frame.

"Alright, Scarhead?" Severus heard Draco greet Harry warmly.

"Ferret." Potter nodded back and Draco returned to the dorms without another word said between them.

"Come in, Mr Potter."

"Hi, Professor." Harry gratefully accepted his usual drink from Snape.

"You and Mr Malfoy have an unusual friendship." The Professor commented.

Harry laughed, carefree for once. "He's been learning to lighten-up."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Has he now?" He paused to drink his tea. "And how are you, Mr Potter? Anything you wish to talk about this evening?"

"Um," Harry looked like he was genuinely thinking about it. "Oh, I sent off my Auror application this week!"

"Congratulations."

"I haven't got in yet." Harry countered.

"Very well, I shall save my congratulations for when you do."

"Thanks." Harry looked around the office during the awkward silence. "Er, was there anything you wanted to talk about, Sir?"

"Yes, actually. Tell me why you're avoiding the Headmistress."

Potter's eyes widened quickly. "Wha- I'm not!" Severus gave him a skeptical look. "I like Professor McGonagall." Harry insisted.

"That's what she tells me too."

"Then why are you asking about her?"

"Don't insult my intelligence Potter. You avoided her summons last week, you wouldn't go to her for a reference, she tells me you have never once accepted an invitation to take tea with her. Hell, that time the Death Eaters attacked, you wouldn't even go up to her off-" Severus stopped suddenly, the realization dawning quickly and intensely. "Of course." The Professor nodded to himself, no doubt in his mind that he had solved the puzzle.

"What?" Harry looked disconcerted.

"It is not the current incumbent of that office whom you wish to avoid."

Harry looked away, only confirming Severus' suspicions.

"You're avoiding Albus?"

Harry said nothing, had still turned away, but he gave the slightest nod of confirmation.

"It's just a portrait, Harry." Severus said gently. "It's not real."

"Seems pretty real." Harry muttered, still avoiding eye contact.

Severus sighed. "Why don't you wish to see him? You and Professor Dumbledore always had a close relationship."

"I thought we did." Harry said quietly. At Severus' questioning look, he added, "It's complicated."

"It always is." Snape responded, not allowing the Gryffindor to get away with that.

"There was a lot I never knew about him." Harry tried to explain. "Things I only found out after his death." He ran his hand through his hair, disheveling it further; a habit he took to when he was particularly stressed, Severus had observed. "He wasn't the man I thought he was. He kept so much secret and ultimately, nothing was more important to him than the greater good."

"Albus was very fond of you, Harry. He thought of you like his own grandson."

"But he thought I would have to be sacrificed and he was prepared for that eventuality."

"He would have done anything to avoid that if he believed it possible."

"I know." Harry rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. "I get it. I understood why and I don't even disagree, but that doesn't mean it feels good. Like I said, it's complicated."