Chapter 42

Severus pulled Harry's upper body into the cradle of his lap and held him tight. He pushed the hair from the boy's face, inadvertently smearing the blood on his hands over Harry's forehead.

He was vaguely aware of Minerva and Charlie standing around him. From the little he had heard, he understood that Poppy was on her way and St Mungo's had been called but no-one was moving in to help. They had given up hope.

Severus hadn't given up hope. Harry was his hope. He had seen this boy defy the odds from a young age. Survival was in his DNA. The human body could survive long after all visible signs of life were gone. There was still hope.

He held the boy tightly, fighting off the despair which threatened to close in. Severus became dimly aware of more noise around him than before. He tuned into it and heard music, bird song.

The mournful tune reminded him of Albus' death. He looked into the sky and saw the red streaks of a descending bird. "Fawkes." Severus heard Minerva say.

The phoenix landed softly a little way from them and hopped over to them cautiously. As he came alongside them, the bird looked up at Severus earnestly. The professor nodded in response, giving Fawkes permission to come closer and watching as the fiery bird flapped onto Harry's arm.

Fawkes' eyes were wide and sad. Severus moved his cloak away to reveal the gaping wounds on Harry's chest. It was only when he saw the wet splash on Harry's skin that Severus realised he was crying and then Fawkes' tears were joining his and dripping on to Harry's wounds.

With every splash of Fawkes' tears the cuts sealed, this time remaining closed. The phoenix stepped carefully over Harry's body until every wound was closed and then hopped down next to Harry's head where he nuzzled the Gryffindor's hair with his beak.

Severus waited with bated breath until he saw the almost imperceptible rise and fall of Harry's chest as he took a shallow breath. "Harry." His own breath left him in a rush of relief.

"Oh, thank Merlin." Severus heard Minerva say.

Severus looked at Fawkes, still teary eyed. "Thank you." The bird inclined his head in a slow nod which Severus took for acknowledgement.

"Do you think we can move him to the hospital wing?" Weasley asked.

Severus nodded. Harry's face was still deathly pale, but he was breathing steadily if weakly. He wasn't sure how he managed it but somehow he stood up with Harry still in his arms. Charlie suggested conjuring a stretcher but Severus shook his head. Somehow he was still able to carry the dead weight of the eighteen year old despite his own legs feeling numb.

"Severus, the attackers?" Minerva asked as they began to walk.

"Three off the path to the Shrieking Shack. Six more in the Forest, south west and a kilometre or so beyond the wards. They are all either incarcerated or dead."

"I'll get Kingsley and the Aurors there." Charlie offered, diverging from their group.

Poppy met them at the castle doors and began casting diagnostic charms even as they walked through the corridors.

"What happened?"

"An ancient magical draining spell. Harry cast through it for quite some time." Severus said simply though his voice was thick with emotion. "Then an altered slicing hex. I couldn't heal it." He looked to the red-feathered phoenix who had flown alongside them the whole way. "Fawkes healed the wounds."

Poppy nodded along as though none of this was unusual. She spared Fawkes a grateful glance. "The second time I need to thank you for doing my job for Mr Potter, eh?"

The bird trilled softly in response and flew close to Harry's head where it rested limply on Severus' arm, and brushed the tip of his wing over Harry's hair.

"Yes." Said Poppy as though the bird had spoken. "I quite agree."

They entered the hospital wing and Severus laid Harry gently onto his usual bed.

"I had rather hoped I wouldn't see him in here again this year." Poppy tutted as she went off in search of potions.

Severus pulled a chair close to Harry's bed, sitting in it and leaning forward so he could keep a hand on Harry's arm.

A hand rested on Severus' own shoulder. "You saved him, Severus." Minerva said softly. "You kept him alive until Fawkes got there."

Severus shook his head in denial. "I didn't save him. He saved me."

Harry sensed that he was in the Hospital Wing before he opened his eyes. The smell, the feel of the sheets around him and even the light from behind his eyelids told him that he was once again in his favoured bed of the Hogwarts Infirmary. He should have Pompfrey put up a plaque.

Harry tried to remember how he got there this time. He was in Hogsmeade, he knew. Then there were those guys. The portkey he remembered with a shudder. The duel came flooding back to him and he could picture vividly the forest, Snape coming to his aid, shielding him from Dolohov's curse and then…then he remembered only blinding pain.

Harry winced, his eyes still closed. The sound of soft trilling nearby caused him some confusion. There weren't usually birds in the Hospital Wing. He could open his eyes to find out more, but despite feeling surprisingly pain-free, he was completely exhausted.

"Quiet, you infernal bird, you will wake the boy." A harsh voice spoke nearby.

The bird chirped back indignantly.

"I like you better when you're made of ash." The voice grumbled.

"Sir?" Harry knew that disgruntled voice. He blinked his eyes open and looked wearily at the blurry form of his professor.

"Harry." He heard the relief in the man's voice, which was strange since his body didn't feel like he had been that hurt. Usually when he woke up in the Hospital Wing he was achy and sore, but this time he felt fine, aside from the overwhelming tiredness.

Harry reached out a hand to fumble around on top of the bedside table in search of his glasses. Said glasses were then being slid gently on to his face in a gesture so tender it stopped Harry's breath for a moment.

"Thanks," he said awkwardly. Harry could now see Snape's face more clearly and observed his tired eyes and the evidently concerned lines of his face. "Are you okay?"

The concern instantly turned to a glare of annoyance. "Am I okay? Potter," he growled. "You nearly died."

Harry shrugged. "I feel fine." A noise over his shoulder startled him and he suddenly remembered the bird he had heard when he first awoke. He looked around to the left and saw a phoenix sat regally on the windowsill behind him.

"Fawkes?" Harry was confused by the bird's presence even as the bird flew down to settle on his lap and accept Harry's petting willingly. "What happened?"

"When I couldn't heal you, Fawkes' tears saved you. He hasn't left your side since." Snape explained.

"Oh, that explains why I feel so good."

Snape glared down at him. "You are not leaving this bed young man." He spoke harshly. "The damned bird may have healed your wounds but your magical energy was severely drained."

Fawkes ruffled his feathers indignantly. Harry recalled the rock formation they had trapped him in that had slowly drained his magic from him.

"There was a portkey." He said. "I don't know where it came from, but they activated it and I was moved to the forest."

Severus nodded. "We searched through your things. The bag you were given in Gladrags was a portkey, planted there earlier by a Death Eater."

Harry nodded remembering. "I saw one of them in there."

"What made you suspect them?" Severus asked curiously. "Did you recognise them?"

Harry shook his head. "I don't think I'd ever seen those first three before. I just felt something…off." He cringed, feeling like he couldn't articulate the sensation he had actually felt. "It's hard to explain. Something about their magic just felt odd, dark maybe?" Harry offered the best explanation he could but Snape's expression remained dissatisfied. "Do you think I imagined it?"

"Not at all." The professor assured. "Something obviously tipped you off that they were a threat – an accurate assessment. I'm simply not sure how it could be possible."

Harry didn't say anything more about the strange feeling he'd had, nor that he could still sort of feel it. He still had the sense that it was something familiar to him and yet it tingled subtly, unpleasantly across his skin.

"After that, I suppose there were some things that made me suspicious. I'd noticed one of them going in the opposite direction earlier and then I saw them communicating across Hogsmeade Square."

"Perhaps then this 'feeling' was merely a response to things you had subconsciously noticed earlier in your trip." Snape suggested.

"Maybe." Harry allowed though he remained unconvinced. "Were there any other attacks?"

"Some mild attempts in Hogsmeade." Severus confirmed. "Nothing that couldn't be handled by Mr Weasley and your friends."

Harry shot upright in bed. "Where are they? Are they ok?"

Severus rolled his eyes and flicked his wand at the curtains opposite Harry's bed, pulling them aside to reveal two occupied beds. One was filled with Ron and Hermione holding each other as they slept. In the other, Ginny slept, scrunched up into a ball with one arm over her head, shielding her eyes from the early morning light like a gremlin. Harry thought she looked adorable. They were all fully dressed and resting above the bed covers suggesting they were not there because of any injuries to themselves.

"They refused to leave." Snape confirmed. "Madam Pomfrey drugged their tea with sleeping draught."

"She should have done that to you." Harry observed the professor's tired eyes with some concern.

The tired eyes glared back at him. "I have a mastery in potions, Potter. I think I would spot a sleeping draught in my tea."

"Have you been here all night?"

"I have."

"Why?"

"Did we not already establish that I care about you?" Severus stared him down with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know what that means." Harry admitted vulnerably.

"It means, Harry. That I stay up all night with you when you are hurt. It means," His tone dropped from the gentle tone to one that was mildly dangerous. "That you are expressly forbidden from ever trying to save my life again."

Harry gulped at the intensity of Snape's stare. "I'm not sorry that I saved your life."

Severus dragged a hand down his face in despair. "Potter, I swear to God I will teach you not to sacrifice yourself if it takes you writing lines every night until you leave Hogwarts."

Harry shrugged. "That's only like eight weeks away. Are you sure I will learn your lesson in that time?"

"Hm," the professor stroked his chin thoughtfully. "You have proven yourself to be particularly thick-skulled."

"Hey!" Harry objected but he laughed anyway.

"But you seem to have underestimated my tenacity in this regard. Your graduation will not pervert my attempts to ensure you acquire some self-preservation. I know where you live, Potter and the wards at Grimmauld Place still permit my entry."

Harry grinned. "There's the motivation to move that I was looking for."

Severus rolled his eyes and they fell into comfortable silence. Fawkes chirped occasionally to demand attention and Harry was reminded briefly of how Hedwig would nip his fingers until he petted him.

Severus leaned forward in his chair until his elbows rested on his knees and he addressed him earnestly. "I mean it, Harry. Don't ever scare me like that again."

Harry's heart plummeted down to his stomach. That was the kind of thing Molly said to Ron. It made Harry feel warm and shivery at the same time.

"I'm not sorry that I saved your life, but I am sorry that I worried you."

Harry stayed in the Hospital Wing for the entirety of Sunday, consuming every potion that Madam Pomfrey thrusted at him despite insisting that he felt absolutely fine. Ron, Hermione and Ginny were all pleased to see him well and they spent the morning chatting and playing exploding snap until Hermione suggested they should do some NEWT revision. At Ron and Harry's groans, Ginny had suggested a revision game of sorts which involved testing each other and suffering a forfeit of a Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean if you answered a question wrong. This had occupied them for a good portion of the afternoon until Ron suffered his third earwax flavoured bean and the rest of the group's laughter alerted Madam Pomfrey to their fun. This was considered 'too much excitement' for Harry and the rest of the Gryffindors were promptly shooed from the infirmary.

Harry was able to nap for a few hours and after dinner Snape had returned. They played chess and talked for a bit. Severus told Harry that the Death Eaters had been taken into custody by the Aurors and he had spent the afternoon giving them his statement. Harry would at some point need to give his own account of the events, but Severus had refused to allow them anywhere near Harry while he was still recovering.

The professor had left early, ordering Harry to sleep some more despite Harry's protests that he felt 'absolutely fine'. So, Harry had been left in bed with only Fawkes for company, since the phoenix had still not left his side, and even though he felt 'absolutely fine', Harry had soon drifted into a deep slumber.

He must have needed the rest for he didn't wake up on Monday until after breakfast. A tray of porridge and fruits was waiting on his bedside table under a stasis charm along with another potion but Madam Pomfrey wasn't around and there were no other patients in the infirmary.

Harry ate and petted Fawkes for a while until he decided to take matters into his own hands. If Pomfrey wasn't going to come back to release him, Harry would discharge himself. He told himself with great confidence that since he was eighteen and since he felt absolutely fine, he was perfectly within his rights to decide when he should leave the infirmary, but he still peered carefully into the corridor before he snuck out.

"Come on, Fawkes." He said to his new companion. "Time to take you back."

The halls were entirely empty since most students had gone home for the break and Harry didn't see a single soul between the hospital wing and the headmistress' office. At the gargoyle Harry realised he had no idea what the headmistress' current password was nor if she would be there.

"Can I go up to see the headmistress?" Harry asked the guarding statue.

The gargoyle remained still and stony-faced, so Harry took that as a no.

"Can I just go up to take Fawkes back to his perch?" Harry tried again. Fawkes, who sat on Harry's shoulder, squawked unhappily but Harry's request seemed to work on the gargoyle who moved aside so Harry could ride the staircase.

McGonagall's office was empty which made Harry feel a bit awkward but since the gargoyle had permitted his entry he decided it was okay for him to be in there. He stepped up to the raised level of the room and deposited Fawkes onto his perch. The bird flapped his wings indignantly and turned his beak away from Harry in response.

"What's your problem? I'm sure Professor McGonagall will have some treats in here somewhere. She'll get you some when she comes back." This did not seem to appease the bird. "I'll come and visit you!"

"Ah, Harry, hello my boy." Harry whipped around to see Albus Dumbledore in his portrait. "I'm so pleased to see you."

Harry accepted the uncomfortable feeling of confused emotions as it settled into his stomach. "Hello, Sir. I just came to bring Fawkes back to his perch." The bird squawked again in protest. "Only he doesn't seem too happy about it."

"Hm, yes that is interesting." Dumbledore looked at the pair of them appraisingly. "I understand you had use of Fawkes' healing properties once again."

Harry didn't bother to ask how Dumbledore knew this; news in Hogwarts travelled fast and around the portraits even faster. "Er, Yeah."

"Phoenixes are incredibly interesting creatures. Their emotional intelligence is perhaps second to no other species, including wizards. As I told you in your second year, they are very in tune with human motivations and characteristics which is perhaps why they, like wands, choose their own wizard."

"So, Fawkes chose you, Sir?"

"He did, a very long time ago, and now it seems he has chosen a new wizard."

Briefly, Harry wondered if that was why Fawkes seemed so reluctant to come back to McGonagall's office, until it dawned on him what Dumbledore was suggesting.

"You think I should be Fawkes' new owner?"

"I'm afraid you won't have much say in the matter, my boy, once their decision has been made a phoenix is astoundingly loyal." Dumbledore said fondly. "I can't say I am surprised by Fawkes' choice. Even before your experience in the Chamber of Secrets your connection was forged through the feather that cores your wand."

"But Voldemort's wand was made from one of Fawkes' feathers too. Doesn't that mean he could have had the same connection to him?" Harry wondered.

"Ah, and yet when you were both present in the Chamber of Secrets, it was you who Fawkes assisted and not Tom." Dumbledore explained. "A phoenix is such a good judge of character that its song can be heard by a good soul and it will give them courage, while the same song can be heard by someone with evil intentions and they will be struck with fear. You showed your character that day in the Chamber and have done many times since."

Harry looked at Fawkes thoughtfully, petting the bird's head with grateful appreciation. "Are you sure you want to stay with me, Fawkes?"

The bird bobbed his beak and chirped an affirmative, nuzzling into the palm of Harry's hand.

It felt strange to be talking to the headmaster again. There was so much Harry had wanted to ask the man since he had died but none of it seemed important now.

"Sir," he said instead. "Did you ever feel Hogwarts? Like, could you feel the magic of the castle?"

Dumbledore's head tilted in consideration. "I did. Harry, yes. Once someone becomes the headmaster or headmistress of Hogwarts they become in tune with the castle and can sense certain magics of the castle such as the wards."

"Oh…I can feel that too, I think." Harry sighed softly, keeping his eyes on Fawkes. "I don't know why though."

"I had heard that you were experiencing a bit more power with your magic these days, my boy."

"Yes, Sir."

"Is it just Hogwarts' magic you sense?"

Harry shook his head. "I can feel the magic of some people too, when they're powerful. And in places where there is a lot of magic in the air, like the Ministry."

Dumbledore hummed. "Curious."

"Do you know why, Sir?"

"I'm sure there could be a number of explanations, my boy."

Harry looked at him earnestly. "But what do you think it is?"

"I suspect it may have something to do with the horcrux, Harry."

Harry felt sick. "You think it's Voldemort's magic, something he left behind in me."

"Not at all, my boy." Albus denied quickly. "That magic is all yours. You would not be so in tune with Hogwarts if it were not."

"What's happened to me then?"

"I believe that this power has always been within you, Harry. The horcrux that resided within you acted like a dam, blocking much of your magic and forcing you, unconsciously, to stretch your magic much further in order to create the same effect as others with your spells. Now, that the dam is gone, your magic is able to flow freely and is moving with great force within you."

"I can't fix it then." Harry said with a noticeable air of regret.

"You will learn how to control your magic over time, but there is nothing about you which needs to be 'fixed', Harry."

"I know." Harry looked away, using his new familiar as a distraction. "It just would have been nice to be normal for once."

"Hm, I lived for 115 years and I never did meet anyone who was 'normal'."

Harry smiled. "Thanks, Sir."

"I'm very pleased to have an opportunity to speak with you, Harry." Albus spoke softly in the momentary silence. "I hear you and Severus have been getting on well."

Harry thought idly about the times when Dumbledore would have insisted on Harry calling the Head of Slytherin 'Professor Snape' and now he happily spoke to Harry about 'Severus'. Harry didn't know if it was because he was older now or if it was just another one of the many things he now seemed to be permitted to do since he ended Voldemort's reign of terror.

"Sort of." Harry answered the portrait eventually. "It's complicated."

"I had always hoped that you and Severus would find common ground. You were far more alike than either of you realised."

Harry scratched the back of his neck. "We're beginning to see that in each other, I think."

"Forgive me," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling. "You don't sound sure."

"There's a lot of history." Harry wasn't sure why he was having this conversation with the old headmaster's portrait, but it felt good to say it out loud and there was something oddly comforting about confiding in Dumbledore again.

"Do you believe that people can change, Harry?"

He thought about how pleasant his meeting with Dudley had been and how Draco was now a part of the DA. He even thought about Dumbledore himself and how the man strove to make up for past mistakes. Yes, Harry believed in change.

"I do," Harry answered. "But my past with Snape is so toxic. He used to completely despise me and nothing about me is really different." Harry looked at Dumbledore earnestly. "He says that he cares about me now. I want that so much that it terrifies me. What if I open myself up to the possibility and then it all comes crashing down on me?" He went on with no chance for Dumbledore to comment. "I respect Severus. I consider him a friend. But he talks like we could be more than that – maybe, almost, family? Is it possible for two people who hated each other so much to learn to trust and care for each other completely?"

"It would certainly be a change from your previous relationship," Albus acknowledged. "But that doesn't mean it is impossible." He looked fondly at his familiar who was now pecking gently at Harry's shoulder as he sensed the young wizard's emotional turmoil. "It is believed that phoenixes evolved to possess healing properties in their tears because their loyalty to their master was felt deeply by the phoenix itself. Before that, no-one believed than an animal could develop such love for a human."

Albus peered over the top of his half-moon spectacles, eyes twinkling aggressively within his oil painting. "All things can change and develop. The proof of evolution, Harry, lies in those adaptations that arise from improbable foundations."