I think with the way this year has been going, we can all use a bit of a laugh right now. I did say this story would be unique in both its content and its rate of updates. I was actually writing a chapter for UTRD and then said to myself, I need something funny to write first, since URTD is in a serious place right now and I can't really use any humour for a few chapters, or at least not anything substantial, so we get a quick update for RDEOS, which took about six hours broken up into two hour blocks. Not bad overall.
Hope this brightens your day at least a little.
SSJ3 Kyuubi Gohan.
Previously:
I mean I could do a chapter recap… but the story is crack and each chapter can actually just be a stand-alone… I guess for the sake of consistency I owe you this much.
Ravel got to do her thing… if you want more, might as well re-read the previous chapter.
What I will do for this story is keep a strip count though.
Coriana, Rias, Ravel and here comes… Xenovia's turn. Enjoy.
Disclaimer – I don't own anything from the High School DxD anime/manga/light novel. All I own are my original characters and plot twists.
'Talking'
"Thinking"
'Ddraig talking and Sacred Gear sounds'
"Ddraig thinking"
*expression*
"Pailingual and telepathy"
Flashback
Chapter 4 – Deadpan delight
'I never could have imagined you had already received such a high-class show. I'm starting to feel embarrassed that I didn't step my game up.' Commented Coriana, after Issei had finished the story of Ravel's seduction.
'Hmph, of course you could never compare to someone as noble as me.' Said Ravel pompously.
'Or someone who is both literally and figuratively smoking hot.' Added Issei, causing Ravel to blush.
'I guess that means you've been causing a stir amongst the devil community for a while then. I can't imagine something like that went over without a fuss.' Said Sairaorg.
'Funny you say that…' Said Issei.
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Flashback
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'Ahahaha, I can't believe it. Losing to his sister stripping for his opponent. I've never heard of something like this before.' Laughed Sirzechs, as he watched the replay of Rias and Riser's fight.
'While it was intriguing the first six times, surely we're hitting a point of diminishing returns at this stage.' Said Ajuka Beelzebub, sitting in front of Sirzechs, around a round table.
'Are you kidding me? It gets better every time. To think I had contingencies in place for multiple scenarios and this is what did the trick… forget I ever said anything about contingencies.' Said Sirzechs seriously.
'My Sona would have done a better job!' Interjected Serafall from Sirzechs right.
'I just can't believe Falbium actually managed to pull himself out of bed to come here and he is sleeping through it, every time.' Said Ajuka, gesturing to the fourth person in their round table, who had a sleeping cap over his head.
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End Flashback
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'I'm still disappointed by Falbium's poor reaction.' Said Sirzechs.
'Whoa, get off my wavelength, otherwise I'll start thinking of Rias in weird ways.' Said Issei, upon hearing the Satan's words.
Sirzechs was standing outside the door to Rias' team's recovery room.
'Well, considering who is standing next to you, it wasn't too hard to guess what you were talking about and knowing Sairaorg's fixation on upper devil society, it'd be easy to guess where your mind would go.' Explained Sirzechs.
'But how did you know the exact thought I was on?' Asked Issei suspiciously.
'Brain implant.' Said Sirzechs.
'What?' Asked Issei.
'What?' Parroted Sirzechs.
'Issei, there you are!' Explained Rias, slamming the door open and sending her brother flying.
'Oh Rias, it's so good to see you.' Said Issei, quickly hugging Rias and turning her slightly, so he could see over her shoulder and visualise the downed Sirzechs.
'You know, maybe we can see about getting you that second chance at a first impression. You know, stripping wise.' Said Issei, causing Sirzechs to glare.
'Really?' Asked Rias eagerly.
'No, I told you first impressions are final.' Said Issei, causing Irina to start sobbing pitifully.
'Oh don't cry Irina, I told you, it doesn't count if you aren't the one doing it.' Said Issei, patting Irina on the head.
'I still think my opportunity was unfairly rushed.' Commented Xenovia.
'It is what it is Xenovia. Considering what you had to start with, you get a ten-out-of-ten for effort.' Reassured Issei, while he continued to console Irina.
'If I ever see that elf again, I will fix his ears, amen!' Exclaimed Irina suddenly, a fire burning in her eyes.
'There, there, Irina, remember, you were the first angel to do what you did and you will always be remembered for it.' Reassured Issei.
'So is it the childhood friend's turn now?' Asked Coriana.
'Close, the childhood friend's friend.' Said Issei, pointing to Xenovia.
'I still think you should give me a do over. Just look at how much I've improved.' Protested Xenovia.
'I think since your face is still as tight as your bodysuit, it wouldn't make too much of a difference.' Said Issei.
'How about like this *Issei-kun, mou*?' Said Xenovia with a pout, emulating Irina's voice, only for Issei to abruptly point his index finger at her.
'No! No breaking troupes!' Protested Issei, causing Xenovia to sigh.
'Well, at least being myself takes less effort.' Said Xenovia.
'Really, you stripped? Somehow I find it hard to believe you could.' Commented Coriana.
'Yes, what Xenovia lacks in execution and style, she makes up for with attitude.' Said Issei.
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Flashback
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'Kokabiel! You will pay for this crime!' Shouted Issei, seeing Irina's damaged form cradled by Rias' familiar.
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End Flashback
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'Hey! You promised you wouldn't bring it up again!' Cried Irina, hugging Issei's head tightly and pushing his head into her chest.
'I know, I just did it for the reaction.' Said Issei, causing Irina to squeeze his head just a little tighter, before releasing him with a sigh.
'Don't worry, Irina's real strip was excellent, it transcended time and species.' Said Issei.
'Isn't the expression normally time and space?' Asked Sairaorg.
'Yes.' Said Issei.
'Did you mean to say time and space?' Asked Coriana.
'No.' Replied Issei.
'Ok, so since the dumb questions are out of the way, Xenovia, you're up.' Said Issei.
'Why me?' Asked Xenovia.
'The story always sounds better from your point of view.' Said Issei.
'Fine then.' Said Xenovia.
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Flashback and Xenovia POV change
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'I shall defeat you Kokabiel!' Screamed Xenovia from the ground, staring up at the multi-winged fallen angel.
'Hmm, did I hear a worm down there?' Questioned Kokabiel smugly, pretending to search below for the source of the voice.
'That is incorrect! Worms cannot speak!' Screamed Xenovia, causing the others to look at her in confusion.
'Um, Xenovia, Kokabiel was calling you the worm.' Explained Rias.
'That's just absurd, a worm wouldn't have the upper body strength to wield a sword, or the lung capacity to speak so loudly.' Protested Xenovia, causing Kokabiel to laugh.
'What a truly stupid power type you are, although compared to me, you power is stupidly weak.' Commented Kokabiel.
'Whatever, can we just get on with the stabby-stabby part?' Asked Freed eagerly, holding his four swords fused into one.
Xenovia turned her gaze on the white-haired heathen who had turned his back on the principles of the church.
'You are the only one who will be stabbed today.' Said Xenovia strongly, causing the man to cackle.
'I doubt it, even if it isn't with my sword, I'll stab something today for sure.' Retorted Freed.
'Kokabiel!' Shouted Issei suddenly.
The blue-haired church warrior turned to look at the devil in confusion.
'What is that, more worms?' Asked Kokabiel, before actually spotting Issei's gaze.
Xenovia sensed something was off from the devil. He seemed to be glowering at the fallen angel leader with something beyond simple dislike. It seemed like true malice. It was as if Kokabiel had done something to truly violate the devil's principles. Xenovia could understand to some small extent, it made sense he would feel anger at a friend of his being attacked. Xenovia often found herself confused since this mission started, reconciling the stories of the cheerful, heroic boy she had known, with the perverted devil she had come to know over these past few days.
'What's with that look Red Dragon, you look like you are here for a fight to the death?' Asked Kokabiel, genuinely intrigued.
'You have destroyed something sacred to me. The extent of your crimes cannot be described with words alone. I shall carve the message into your body with blood and pain.' Ranted Issei.
"I never could have guessed Irina's friend cared for her this much… especially since when they fought, he spent the whole time trying to get her to disrobe." Thought Xenovia in confusion.
'Is that so? Just what could I have done that was so bad?' Asked Kokabiel mockingly.
'What you did… what you did… to Irina… I can never forgive you.' Mumbled Issei so quietly, if Kokabiel's hearing wasn't enhanced he would have missed it.
'Irina? Is that the name of that pathetic worm I batted aside before? Sorry, I don't remember those I crush underfoot when I am out for a stroll.' Apologised Kokabiel mockingly.
'Not only that… to forget… to… to… to ruin a potential strip-show, that is the highest crime you could ever commit!' Exclaimed Issei, causing the entire group to look at him in disbelief.
'I see, I'm guessing no one has told you about the multiple acts of genocide I've committed then?' Questioned Kokabiel dryly.
'Genocide? You took something which can only be given once. You can repeat genocide.' Retorted Issei in confusion.
'Freed? You didn't do anything with the exorcist when I finished with her, did you?' Asked Kokabiel to his solider.
'No, no, no, I only want to break holy maidens when they are fresh, I don't like leftovers.' Retorted Freed.
'You're the worst.' Glared Koneko.
'I see… Valper?' Asked Kokabiel, turning to his lead scientist.
'Girls? I have research I would rather do.' Said Valper.
'Hmm, I see… what did we do then?' Asked Kokabiel, turning back to Issei.
'You forced an incomplete strip on Irina! An incomplete strip is already bad enough, but a forced one? Unforgivable! A strip show is sacred, it is a sacred act between two people. To not fully appreciate such an intimate act is sacrilegious!' Roared Issei.
'Have you met me? I am all about sacrilege.' Retorted Kokabiel.
'No! Fallen angels are at the very least able to appreciate seduction in all its forms. Even your brain dead and literally dead minions know that much. What kind of a joke are you, a fallen angel who can't even appreciate lust?' Questioned Issei in disgust.
'You know, I feel like you anger is misplaced, but it is also so stupid I don't know what to do about it.' Said Kokabiel, genuinely confused.
Xenovia was also having difficulty following the conversation, so it was with a mild amount of confusion that Xenovia processed Issei's next words.
'Exorcist lady, I need your help to defeat Kokabiel.' Said Issei.
Xenovia didn't really follow how the conversation had suddenly shifted to battle. One minute they had been discussing what it seemed was the attack on Irina, then it had switched to the act of disrobing and had then been followed up by Kokabiel's crimes against Christianity, or at least that is what it had seemed to be about to Xenovia.
'What can I do to assist?' Responded Xenovia.
Ordinarily, Xenovia would have preferred to fight by herself, but even she realised this situation necessitated teamwork.
'I need you to strip for me.' Said Issei so seriously, Xenovia thought she had misheard him.
'Apologies, my mind was distracted, could you repeat what assistance of mine you require?' Asked Xenovia.
'Of course. I need you to strip for me, please.' Requested Issei again.
Xenovia blinked for a second, before looking around at the others, wondering if this was a practical joke of some sort. The redhead seemed to sigh and cradle her forehead with her right hand. The dark-haired sex symbol giggled. The blond swordsman seemed to smile, while the white-haired midget's face went blank and turned around. On the side of her enemies, the white-haired swordsman seemed to cackle, almost as though he was expecting this. The former holy man seemed to be disinterested, staring eagerly at the forged Excalibur and Kokabiel… Kokabiel seemed intrigued.
'I see, this does explain your anger.' Said Kokabiel, grabbing Xenovia's attention.
'How so?' Asked Xenovia, shelfing her distrust of the man for an explanation.
'I had heard whispers of this, but did not believe them to be true. In all honesty, the news of God being dead was less ridiculous to believe. Oops, I meant to save that bombshell for later… *cough* as I was saying, a few scouts of mine, as well as Freed himself, have revealed to me… that it seems Issei Hyoudou can power up through exhibitionism.' Explained Kokabiel.
'Wait, did you say God is dead?' Asked Xenovia.
'Yes, the four original Satans too, whoops, another secret I was waiting to drop. Anyway, it seems that the Red Dragon of this generation can power up through nudity. I suppose this explains the anger at the state of your partner. Partially stripped and off-screen too, that must piss you off, huh Red Dragon?' Taunted Kokabiel.
'Please Xenovia, it has to be you, for Irina's sake.' Pleaded Issei.
'I know I am short of a few… a lot of social cues, but I don't think it is just myself who finds this confusing right now.' Said Xenovia.
'What's that expression you people use, have faith that things will work out, there is a plan for everything?' Said Issei questioningly.
'I don't think that it applies in this situation… but I suppose it is worth a try… there is just one problem though.' Said Xenovia.
'What's wrong?' Asked Issei.
'This is a complete one piece.' Said Xenovia.
A brief gust of wind passed between the group.
'I don't understand. You mean to say that is all you are wearing? Nothing underneath?' Asked Issei quietly.
'Yes. It also comes off altogether. I don't believe I can consider it stripping if it is only one piece of clothing.' Elaborated Xenovia.
'That… that is a truly unique experience! Please do me the honour of witnessing such a rare act!' Exclaimed Issei.
Xenovia paused, taking a moment to study Issei. His expression was extremely elevated, as though he had just successfully completed a difficult mission in record time. His entire body was trembling, and his left hand seemed to be glowing a mix of green and red.
'Okay I guess.' Said Xenovia, before attempting to reach back to her mid-back.
'I can't do it.' Said Xenovia, causing Issei's expression to fall.
'Why not?' Asked Issei.
'I can't reach the zipper.' Explained Xenovia, causing Issei to become distressed.
'What, how did you get it on in the first place?' Asked Issei.
'Isn't it obvious, Irina and I would clothe each other.' Said Xenovia.
A second gust of wind passed between the group.
'Uwwwoaahhh, that's amazing!' Shouted Issei, barely containing himself.
'How is that any different to Akeno helping me get dressed?' Asked Rias.
'This is a completely different scenario! You can put your clothes on by yourself, you just can't be bothered. This is an outfit which can only be donned with assistance, such a piece of apparel is completely useless for day-to-day functioning. What you lose in accessibility, you gain exponentially in appeal.' Explained Issei.
'Could you give me a hand here?' Asked Xenovia.
Issei was again torn, but ultimately decided to assist this one time.
'Okay, but just the one zip.' Said Issei, walking behind Xenovia and helping bring her zipper down to her lower back, so she would be able to reach it herself.
'There we go, now then, the gloves and stockings are also attached to the bodysuit with tiny microfibres and magic, so they will all come off together. Don't blink.' Said Xenovia seriously, to which Issei nodded.
Xenovia slowly reached over her shoulders with her opposite arm and peeled the bodysuit forwards. The dark garment seemed to release itself from the exorcist with agonising slowness. Xenovia then crossed her arms over her chest as she pulled it downwards from the elbow. Issei watched on in rapt attention, knowing that the entire top half of the outfit was technically off Xenovia, but the prize beneath was still hidden from his gaze. Xenovia then uncrossed her arms and Issei finally got his first glance at the prize beneath. Issei gazed at the battle-hardened body which still retained such a degree of suppleness and elegance. The sizeable bust for a warrior seemed to have been sculpted onto the swordswoman, providing both battle suitable proportions and raw sexual appeal.
Xenovia paused in her actions and looked forward. Her chest was bare currently and the top of her bodysuit flapped down from her waist, hanging downwards. Looking up, Xenovia surveyed the battlefield. The devils seemed to be watching in curiosity. Xenovia found it odd, having assumed they would have all seen many acts of debauchery in their society before, but she supposed a holy exorcist doing such an act would have been rare. The littlest one seemed to be looking over her shoulder every now and again and the sound of a pencil scratching on paper could be faintly heard. Freed was watching the Red Dragon, swaying his sword around eagerly, while Valper's gaze followed the sword. Kokabiel's gaze switched between herself and that of Issei. Issei's gaze never wavered, in fact, Xenovia didn't even see him blink. His eyes were frozen open, directing all their attention on her. Xenovia took a small amount of pride in this. True, her knack for seduction was virtually non-existent, but to have enraptured the lust of a devil, a creature who literally survived on sin, it gave her a sense of morbid pride. It was as Xenovia started to reach down to remove the rest of her clothing, that she spotted the pulsing. Not only was the Red Dragon's left-hand pulsing with red and green, the pulses of light were spreading around his body.
Xenovia then bent over, pulling the battle suit down her thighs. The chill of the cold air grazed her bottom, before she felt a heat in front of her begin to overpower the area. Xenovia spared a quick glance up and saw a swirl of red energy around the devil who had requested her show, and it seemed to pulse in time with the removal of her clothing. Now past her knees, Xenovia could feel a comforting warmth around her, which almost seemed to encourage her to finish disrobing. Bringing the battle suit down to her ankles, Xenovia bent down slightly, in order to help extract her right foot from the clump of black material. Her right foot exited the pile and she followed it with her left, coming to stand next to her battle suit. Finally looking up, a completely bare swordswoman stood in front of the Red Dragon.
'So simple, but so, so, so… augh so effective!' Roared Issei, as his armour materialised upon him in one complete piece, much as Xenovia's piece had disappeared.
'Blue-haired battle-suit bare buster blast bomber!' Called Issei.
Almost in an homage to the scatter shot technique of one of Issei's favourite characters from Drag-so Ball, wait, we can break the fourth wall here, Dragon Ball, Issei created a multitude of bright green and red glowing balls of death.
'So this is the famed power I heard of, however, it still pales in comparison to my true strength.' Taunted Kokabiel.
'That's because you made the mistake of assuming I've only got one barrel in the chamber. Blitz!' Said Issei triumphantly, before the glowing balls of energy started mass producing more and more balls of energy, which locked on to Kokabiel like heat-seeking missiles and barraged him continuously for fifteen minutes.
Finally, after the barrage ceased, Kokabiel was revealed, looking dishevelled and bloody from the onslaught. In the commotion, Valper was sliced down by Kiba off-screen and Freed had found a nice spot where he could watch both Kokabiel's beating and Xenovia's still bare form, joyfully eating a bag of popcorn.
'Well, that was fun and all, but I'm off for now, see you next time. I'm sure it will be a truly touching split.' Said Freed, before hopping out of the tree he had perched on and heading off.
'You think this is it for me? I will not be beaten here!' Said Kokabiel.
'Kokabiel, you should watch more anime, the attack isn't finished yet.' Said Issei, causing Kokabiel to glare.
'What?' Hissed Kokabiel, even as two trails of blood leaked out of the sides of his mouth.
'Yeah, Piccolo did this at the end too.' Said Issei, before clenching his fists.
Every single ball which had struck Kokabiel suddenly materialised and converged on him rapidly.
Just before Kokabiel could be defeated though, a single word echoed out from the mass of balls.
'Divide.'
With that, the onslaught that would have turned Kokabiel into the first authentic fallen angel swiss cheese sample, lead to him simply being tenderised like a piece of meat, ripe for a mysterious new arrival to catch him.
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End Flashback
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'Hmm, I think I'm actually a little disappointed with that one.' Commented Coriana, causing Xenovia to frown.
'I think I did okay under the circumstances.' Defended Xenovia.
'More than okay. You see, Coriana, while you scored a ten in seduction, you were already seductive, and your intent was seductive too. There was no variety to the performance, granted, there is nothing wrong with maxing out all your stats in one area, but variety can be helpful. Xenovia did not execute one great aspect, but rather, multiple aspects all done well and uniquely. The first, that she was a holy exorcist to begin with, she receives automatic points for participation due to doing something completely against her natural alignment. Secondly, while there was no finesse to the technique, it was raw, simple, pure. Xenovia did exactly what she was required to do, she stripped, no frills or teasing at all. That in itself satisfies another category, satisfaction. Going from zero to ten in a second might be jarring for some, but it has a devastating impact. Thirdly, the almost blank expression being provided with such an act provides such immense contrast, a disconnect of mind and body. Lastly, the simple way it was done and let us not forget the background, as well as the need for assistance. Interactivity makes any activity fun. If you scored a ten in one category, Xenovia scored a five in five categories. It doesn't sound impressive, but it adds up.' Lectured Issei.
'I never thought about it that way. I suppose I could stand to mix things up a bit.' Commented Coriana.
'Just wait until I get to Irina's, but that's a few away.' Foreshadowed Issei.
'In the meantime, we need to go and have those post-match interviews I've scheduled.' Said Ravel.
'Oh yeah, we should go and do those. Afterwards, you two can come to Kuoh with us and we can tell the stories with a better atmosphere. Besides, you're going to want to be at the school for the next one, it will definitely set the mood right.' Said Issei, before the group headed off to their post-match interviews.
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Next time on RDEOS: Serafall.