Come alone and the others will be spared. You know where to find me.

The blood was drained from her face. For one moment, Haibara stood perfectly still, hands griping the note like her life depended on it. Then blind terror swept in and she couldn't breathe.

She could recognize his handwriting anywhere.

The note was slipped into her backpack, likely when she and the kids where passing through that crowded street on their way home. Haibara didn't know how they had located her or who had done this, but she knew one thing - she had to protect them.

Agasa. Kudo. The kids. She would die before she let the Black Organization get their hands on those people.

Not this time, not her family again.

You bastard, she thought, clenching her fist. Haibara knew where he would be - it was so obvious it almost made her laugh. But he was like that, his greatest downfall and also his most dangerous characteristic. Gin loved toying with his prey.

She knew it was a trap, but she didn't care. She was sick and tired of him haunting her every move, of living her life in fear of that man. One way or another, this would end.

It was easy to make up some excuses to leave the house. The professor was busy with the kids and Kudo was talking with Ran on the phone. No one would think twice when she said she was going out to get some extra groceries. They were missing some drinks, after all.

Kudo would be furious with her, but by the time that he realized, she would be long gone.

Or long dead, most likely.

On the day that she was discharged from the hospital, Agasa picked her up with his old Beetle. Kudo, who had been released a week before her, sat in the back seat. Shiho spared him from hoping out to get her, taking pity on his leg.

They had made up a few days after that fight. Shiho had apologized for yelling at him about Akai, while Kudo had said he regretted keeping it a secret from her.

"It's alright. It wasn't your secret to tell, I get that."

"About what I said about you and that drug…."

"You were right about it. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have gotten involved like this," she said evenly.

Kudo sighed. "I shouldn't have said that. It wasn't your fault."

Shiho lifted an eyebrow, "Are you sure about that?"

"You weren't the one using it on me."

"Big difference. I created it. If I hadn't-"

"By that logic, then the one who created guns should be responsible for all the shooting crime in the world. Or the car manufacturer should be responsible for every person that is killed by a car," he fired back, and there was that familiar smug look in his eyes when he knew that she couldn't argue with what he said.

"Smart-ass," she mumbled, and the topic was closed.

But she wasn't Kudo Shinichi. She couldn't so easily wash off her involvement as something that was out of her control. He could give her all the logic and evidence in the world, but it wouldn't change the one thing she knew was the truth - Shiho had blood on her hand. Quite a lot of it.

"Oi, are you getting in the car or what?" he asked, snapping her out of her thought.

"Fine, fine. Stop nagging me."

How strange, to be sitting in the backseat of the professor's car, not as a small child, but as a fully grown young woman. The world seemed to have shrunken and folded in on itself, though she knew perfectly well that was not the case. It was only that she was now seeing things from a different vantage point.

Shiho reckoned this would be a familiar feeling for the next couple of weeks - this feeling of bewilderment as she reacquainted herself with living her life as an eighteen-year-old. Not that she had much of a life in the first place. All of the friends that she had was during her time as Haibara Ai. Though fundamentally the same, she was a different person now and not all of those people could stay.

The kids could no longer be a part of her life, at least not as her closet friends. Being stuck in a hospital with nothing better to do, Shiho had been given a lot of time to think - and one conclusion she had reached was that she couldn't tell them the truth. Their lives had only just begun and she didn't want to burden them with the knowledge of what had happened to her. Shiho wasn't even sure if they could handle it at their age.

They deserved to grow up believing in goodness and kindness, not stained by the darkness that Shiho had unwittingly brought upon them. That innocence, those pure eyes…she wanted to preserve them for as long as she could.

Shiho knew they would be heart-broken now, but children forgot easily. They were only six and in a few years, she would be nothing but a passing memory in a short period of their lives.

Lying to protect those she loved was no easy thing, it seemed.

"It's just one more things that you have to live with for the rest of your life," Kudo had told her when she discussed about it with him, "But I agree with you. We can't tell them the truth. We can't do that to them."

"How do we explain Haibara and Conan's disappearance, then?"

"Ah, when you were still comatose, the doctor called the school. He said your parents had returned to take you back to England. As for me, I'm apparently living in China now."

"How did they react? The kids?"

"What do you think?" Kudo asked softly, and Shiho knew he would miss them just as much as she did.

In a way, they had created their own little family from a less-than-ideal situation. It was the first family she had had since Akemi died, and now it was time to say goodbye.

"Do you swear that you will speak the truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I swear."

That had been the easy part - swearing that oath. It went down-hill from there.

The room she was in closely resembled that of an interrogation room (funnily enough, she had been acquainted with such a place only after she had become Ai, not during her time working in the organization). The lights were brighter, though, and Shiho was pretty sure that the officers sitting across from her weren't about to break out the screws and nails should she say something wrong.

Pretty sure.

She knew the three people in this room, Takora Hanami included, weren't the only one listening to what she had to say. Behind that mirror was probably an army of PSB agents, maybe even the double-agent playing the role of Bourbon.

(Another secret that Kudo had kept from her. She had learned not to be surprised by now)

"What's your name?"

"Miyano Shiho. My codename in the Black Organization was Sherry."

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

They had started with the general questions first, things that she could easily answer without any hesitation. It was all for the sake of recording it on tape, for they had already knew those information.

"How long have you been in the organization?" Takora asked.

"All of my life. My parents were members." A humorless smile graced her lips. "I was born into it, you can say."

Not joining by choice, but by birth. Why was she trying to justify her past to them? They had already promised not to try her, hadn't they? Shiho didn't need to seek approval or understanding from these people.

Then came reliving her past eighteen years. A lifetime of secrets. No wonder Gin and the others had been so intent on killing her - she knew too much. Not everything, but more than she wanted. Many of those secrets had to do with her and what she had done, things she was not proud of. Now, they were all coming to light.

"And you created the poison known as APTX 4869?"

"My parents started the research. They created the poison. I carried on their work, refined it," she paused, wondering if she should continue, "The APTX 4869 wasn't meant to be a poison."

One of the officers snorted, but Shiho paid him no mind. She hadn't expected them to believe her.

The session went on for hours. As they dived deeper into her past, Shiho found it harder and harder to talk. She didn't want to protect the organization; it was just that many things were too close to heart. She told them of the first time she held a gun - thirteen years old, all lanky limbs and shaking like a leaf. Gin had insisted on training her with firearms and a part of the exercise had been to kill one of the low-rank members.

She kept quiet about the beating that ensured when she missed and he killed the member himself. To this day, Shiho could still recall the blood squirting from the hole in the man's forehead. She had never been squeamish about blood, but there was just something about that image that made her stomach churn.

She told them of the many drugs she created and detailed what each of them did. Creating hallucination, rendering parts of the body useless, heightening the victims' sense of pain - to name a few. Shiho was all too aware that she sounded like a mad, evil scientist. The PSB agents behind the glass were probably scrambling to call in their best psychologists to ensure she wouldn't snap in the future.

And then at one point, Bourbon entered the room and she knew things were about to get a lot worse.

He started asking her about her relationship with Gin.

"He seemed to have a strange fascination with you. Why is that?" the dark-skinned man questioned.

Shiho was silent for a long time, face blank. Then, she asked, "How would this information help with the investigation in any ways? Gin is already dead."

"You promise to cooperate with us and provide all the information we need."

"Why do you need to know about me and him?" she retorted, an edge of defensiveness in her voice.

Calm down, Shiho, no use getting worked up over this, she reminded herself, though it was hard to do when they were all looking at her like that, demanding her to give up her deepest, darkest secrets.

"Are you protecting him?" Bourbon asked with a raised eyebrow, eyes dark. The expression on his face reminded her too much of a predator for her liking.

No wonder he could maintain his identity for so long, she thought spitefully, He fits just right in with the rest of them.

"Don't you dare put words into my mouth!" she snarled, "Don't forget that I am here as a witness, not a criminal. Until you provide me with an adequate excuse as to why you need those information, I'm not saying anything.

"Of course," Shiho smirked, "You can always break out the torture equipment. Though I'm sure that wouldn't go so well with your superiors. You law enforcements cannot run wild with your methods, after all."

There goes any hope of making nice.

But she couldn't bring herself to care. Bourbon had crossed a line, and Shiho wasn't about to let him or anyone coerce her into doing something that she didn't want, never again. They had no rights to demand those information out of her - they were personal and Gin was already dead.

Not to mention, saying them aloud…it was too much like reliving those moments and admitting just how weak and pathetic she had been. Shiho had no intention of doing that in front of anyone, let alone these PSB agents.

The door creaked open and someone walked in. The man approached Bourbon and whispered something into his ear. A mutinous look crossed Bourbon's face, though it passed quickly. He signaled Takora and the woman turned to look at Shiho.

"We are done for today. You can leave. We'll contact you again before the next session."

Shiho was not looking forward to it.

"You were behind the glass, weren't you?" Shiho asked flatly once she saw Akai leaning against the wall in the hallway, right outside of her 'interrogation room'.

"The FBI and the PSB are working together," he explained, pushing himself up to a standing position.

"I'm sure Bourbon liked that."

Akai smirked. "You have no idea."

Shiho walked towards the elevator and she wasn't surprised when Akai fell into steps next to her. How long he planned on continuing being her self-appointed bodyguard, she didn't know. Didn't he have anything better to do than shadowing the eighteen-year-old sister of his old girlfriend?

She ought to be grateful for him, she knew. He had saved her life far too many times for her to count, and that only included the attempts that she knew of. Shiho owed this man a great deal.

Perhaps, that was precisely why she was unhappy with him. She hated knowing that she was indebted to anyone, especially Akai Shuuichi.

"So, are you going to ask me about Gin?" she quipped casually once they were in the elevator, "I'm sure you are just as curious as the rest of them."

"It's none of my business. You are entitled to your own secrets, and I'm not about to make you divulge them. Would you have answered, even if I had asked?"

"Definitely not."

He grinned slightly. "Exactly. Besides," the grin slid of his face just as fast as it appeared, replaced by a hard look, "I don't know if I could keep calm if I knew what he had done to you."

Shiho didn't know what to say to that. To hear something like that from Akai was strange, to say the least. The only people who had ever gotten angry on her behalf were her sister and, later on, the doctor, Kudo and the kids. All of those people were her friends and family, but Akai…

Well, she wasn't sure what he was, to be honest. She was aware that he was convinced he had some sort of obligations towards her, but surely those obligations didn't extend to being concerned about the past actions of a man who was long dead? He couldn't change the past any more than she did, so why waste energy on useless indignation? Akai didn't strike her as someone who did unnecessary things.

At least, she could somewhat see why her sister had been so attracted to this man in the first place. Akemi had always had a preference for the mystery. And Akai - he was practically mystery personified.

"What are you planning to do now?" Shiho asked, once the silence had become uncomfortable, "The organization's no longer a threat. You won't be needed as much as before in this stage. And don't say you're gonna stick around to watch over me like some sort of guardian angel or some other bullshit."

"How unappreciative of you," he remarked dryly, "I'll probably head back to the US, take care of some business. I still have a lot of loose ends to tie up. Of course, the investigation and the trials take precedence."

"Ah."

It made sense that he would return to the US. His assignment was over and he would now return to his normal life (as normal as that could be for someone like him). It seemed that everyone around her was slowing easing back into their own lives - a life without the organization.

Where would that leave her, then? She had known no other life beyond that in the organization. Even as Haibara Ai, she was constantly hiding, running from those people. Now that they were out of the picture and she was free to do whatever she wanted, she felt…dare she said it, lost.

Every moment of every day of her life, up until now, had been with a purpose. Shiho knew what her objectives and her goals were, and how to achieve them. She was never without work, which was an aspect that she missed. Not the organization, not the deeds that she had carried out - just a sense of purpose.

Even if it was a wrong one.

"…you then?"

Shiho blinked. "Beg your pardon?"

"What about your own plans? What are you going to do now?"

"You know, another person asked me that same question a month ago," she said, recalling her conversation with Ran. "Unfortunately, I still haven't made any progress."

Akai appeared to muse over this. Then he said, "If you want, I can offer you some advice."

"What, are you playing the big brother role now?" she teased, a smirk on her face. Akai Shuuichi was probably the last person she would ever think of as a big brother. Still, she added for good effect, "Shuuichi-niisan?"

Akai made a face. "Do you want to hear it or not?"

"Alright, alright."

"Well, I think that right now, you don't have to make any big, life-changing decisions. You are only eighteen, and in a way, you have just started to live your life for real without anyone telling you what you have to do or who you have to be. Just do what you want."

"That's easy to say, but what if I do something wrong?" What was left unsaid, was that she had done enough wrong for a few lifetimes.

"It's a fear we all have, especially with the kind of life we led," he nodded, "But trust that from now on, no one is going to hurt you or try to kill you for every mistake that you make. Unless you attempt murder, in which case we'll need to have a very serious discussion."

"And here I thought you didn't have a sense of humor."

"I try," Akai replied dryly, "But keep what I said in mind. You are free now. Enjoy that freedom and make decisions for yourself, not for anyone else, Shiho-san."

It was the first time that he used her name - her real name.

Shiho wasn't prepared for when Kudo barged into her room, a face-splitting grin on his face that usually suggested he was about to say something she wouldn't like.

Usually.

"Doors are invented for a reason, you know," she commented sarcastically, "To prevent idiots like you from bothering other people."

"You are hilarious," he retorted, sitting down on her bed.

Shiho swiveled around from her table, eyebrows raising. "Well, what are you here for? Aside from wasting my time, that is."

"I'll let that slide for now, because I have an offer for you. How would you like attending high school with me and Ran?"

"Eh?"

"Just hear me out," Kudo said, holding up his hands. "I know that you intended to stay as Haibara and live a new life. But well, that's not possible now. The antidote's a success and we can't risk you taking the APTX again on the off-chance that you might be shrunk a second time. Like it or not, Haibara Ai's gone.

"But, I figure that that doesn't mean you can't have something of a normal experience. You deserve it, after all you have been through. Going to high school is as normal as it can get. Many people can be idiots and I'm sure none will be as smart as you, but it's fun. It's something you have never experienced before, right?"

"Have you forgotten the fact that I have graduated university already?"

Kudo shrugged. "No one needs to know that. We can always say you are a transfer student and you attend school late, so you are a little older than the rest of us. You don't even look older, anyway. If anything," he smirked smugly, "you're shorter than me now."

Shiho narrowed her eyes. "I don't need to be tall to poison your food."

"Pretend I never said that," he replied hastily. "Anyway, what do you think? My parents can help you prepare the paperwork."

"This is really sudden."

"I know."

"It might not work out."

"The chances are small."

"I need time to think about this."

Kudo didn't look the least bit surprised at that. He stood up, informed her that the new semester would start in three weeks, so she still had some time to consider her option. When he left, her brain was still trying to process what he had just said.

Attending high school with him and Ran. A chance, that was what he was offering her. A chance to live a normal life, where her biggest worry would be tomorrow's homework and exams. Hadn't she always wondered what it would be like to be a high school student like anyone else, and not a grade-skipping preteen girl who was too smart for her own good?

This was her chance.

But what if it was a wrong decision?

No one is going to hurt you or try to kill you for every mistake that you make.

It figured that Akai would appear at a time like this. But he was right, wasn't he? There was no Gin or Vermouth lurking around the corner, waiting to persecute her for every misstep. Shiho could truly do what she wanted.

Enjoy that freedom and make decisions for yourself, not for anyone else.

When was the last time she had made a decision for herself? She couldn't remember. This might just be the first.

So when she called Kudo, a few days later, saying the one word "yes", she finally understood why so many people fought for independence. It was liberating, the freedom of doing what she wanted.

For the first time in her life, Shiho had hope for her future.

Tbc.