I'm alive! Let me tell you what I've been up to the past few months: play, musical, college applications, scholarship applications, ap homework, and writer's block. Enjoy.

Chapter 8

"You are Cecile, it all makes sense now, the strawberries, the ringtone, the access code. It's you."

Helga looked at him in the eyes, not knowing what to say to him. The secret was finally out, and it was terrible. "Are you mad?"

Arnold's jaw dropped. "Am I mad? Am I mad? What kind of question is that?"

"Okay yeah, whatever I'm faux Cecile."

"Whatever? Helga!"

Helga squinted. "What?"

"You can't just pretend like nothing happened. You just told me you're the girl of my dreams and now you're acting like a royal pain."

"Nice use of words."

Arnold looked at her, without any sort of expression. It was as if he wanted to talk, but couldn't. "I need- I need some time to think." He opened the door then and ran out to the pouring rain.

Helga followed after him, feeling the cold of the raindrops on her face. "Go on, run off to Gerald, or your Grandpa! See if I care! I never cared about you anyway!"

At that, Arnold stopped instantly. He turned to her, squinting in order to see her. "Do you honestly think I don't care about you?"

"You were so excited to find your Cecile, and now that you found her, you run off. Why did you think I never told you? Not because I wanted you to suffer, I just knew I'm not good enough for you."

Arnold came closer to her, bringing his hand to grasp Helga's chin. He slowly brought her lips to his and kissed her gently. Helga felt the cool taste of his mouth and rainwater. Helga adored the feel of Arnold's mouth moving with hers, but this was not the answer she wanted from him. She pulled away from him then, gathering the rest of the dignity she had.

"Do you think you can just kiss me and make everything okay? I'm not your little toy, you can just pick up when ever you want to make out, Arnoldo."

Arnold looked at her. "You don't even understand what this means to me. I've kept your stupid red shoe in a box in my closet for nine years! I've been looking for you like crazy."

"Crazy enough that you settled for Janet Buttermore!"

"Stop it, Helga!"

"No, I won't stop. I've had a crush on you since I was three years old, that is almost my entire life! I've waited for you night and day, begging for you to see me the same way I see you, and now you say you need time to think. What kind of crap is that? You can't just kiss me and run off just because you're disappointed your dream girl is Helga G Pataki!"

"I kissed you way before I knew you were Cecile! You were the one that ran off then. You said you waited so many years, was I not good enough for you?"

Helga looked him up and down in disgust from what he said. She went up to him, kissed him roughly, and stood back. "There's one for the road. Have a nice life." And without going to get her stuff in the store, locked up and ran home.

After about ten minutes, Arnold realized Helga wasn't coming back. He had watched her go, feeling a part of him go with her. He still felt the taste of her lips on his mouth, and treasured every bit of it. He was still confused as to what had happened. He kissed Helga before he knew she was Cecile, and it truly felt addicting. What he wondered was why he had done it. It was as if her lips had a magnetic pull to his, and once they were close enough he was under her spell. Now he knew she was Cecile, the girl he was searching for, but it wasn't cecile he wanted. Sure he thought of her nonstop, but he had a horrible attraction to Helga Pataki even more.

When he arrived home, he went straight to the shower and just stood there. The running water only had him thinking of Helga even more. He wished he could have told her that he didn't want Cecile, he wanted her. Helga would never listen to him, that was just the way she was.

And he loved that about her. And it killed him that he could be attracted to someone that would never open up to him. Maybe it was his fault, maybe it was just the way he said things to her. It was Helga, she didn't really act like other people do. He liked that she was different, but still he wished she could open up to him. Kissing him today was a huge step for her, maybe too big. At this point, Helga couldn't take that back, and couldn't make Arnold believe she didn't mean all that she said. He didn't know what to do now, how it would all go down at school.

Helga walked into school; terrified of what would come. By now, everyone must know about her and Arnold, how she practically threw herself at him. Helga hadn't mentioned any of it to anyone, not even to Phoebe. Now, she didn't know how to avoid Arnold. She thought of skipping, but she couldn't afford to miss school any longer. Instead she walked into her government class with her head held high, and her pride sunken low.

Phoebe was already at her seat, smiling. If only she knew Helga was dead inside. "Why hello, Helga, nice day today."

"What's nice about it," Helga moaned as she sat in her seat.

"Is everything alright?"

Helga shook her head, but said nothing else.

Phoebe looked at her as if waiting for a response, but Helga wouldn't say anything else. She spoke again, "do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she whispered. She really did want to talk to someone about it, but she was so fearful that someone else would hear her. It was so humiliating to think of what she had done. She wished she could take all of that back, but now she had to live with that horrible memory in her head. "I'll talk to you about it later."

Arnold approached Janet's locker that morning, feeling sluggish and terrible. She was smiling, waiting for him. As he looked at her now he felt sick to his stomach, she had lied to him, played him like a violin. And there she was, with a smile on her face as if nothing happened.

"Hello Arnold," Janet said.

"Why did you tell me you were Cecile?" He ordered.

"Because I was."

"No you weren't, stop lying."

Janet stopped, and simply looked at him. Arnold didn't say anything else, he just waited. "Helga got to you didn't she?" Janet closed her locker then and began to walk off to class.

"We're not done yet!" Arnold ran after her. "Why did you lie to me? Did you even like me?"

Janet continued to walk. "Not really, but it was still fun."

"Fun? Playing around with my feeling was fun?"

"Oh cry me a river, Arnold."

They approached Janet's class then. The room was almost full, but Janet stopped right at the door. She smiled, "thanks for walking me to class, Arnold," she said in a louder tone than she had before.

And before Helga could even blink, they were kissing. Janet Buttermore and Arnold were kissing right in front of her. She couldn't handle it, her eyes were heavy with tears and she just couldn't get rid of them. She stood up and walked out of the classroom as quickly as she could. When she reached the door, she began to ran. She could hear Phoebe running behind her, calling her name, but Helga ran even quicker. Janet Buttermore, was kissing the same lips Helga had kissed. She had won.

Once the bell rang, Helga made to the back stairwell she liked to sit in. She found a corner, and began to sob. She always tried to picture Arnold with a girlfriend, when they were freshmen, he almost went out with a girl, but it didn't work out. Now that she witnessed Janet's tongue in his mouth, she wanted to disappear. Helga had loved Arnold since she was a little girl, she always imagined him being with no one but her.

Arnold pulled away form Janet quickly. He wiped his mouth with him sleeve, he was furious. "What is wrong with you?"

Janet smiled bitterly, "just putting on a show."

Arnold was confused, everything Janet said lately was sly. He heard a cry from behind him. He looked and saw Phoebe running down the hallway. He didn't know what was going on with her, what ever it was, she should be fine.

"You are sick."

"You have no idea."

Phoebe eventually found Helga crying in the staircase. Helga's face felt so puffy, and red, that she was embarrassed to have Phoebe see her this way. "Helga, are you okay?"

Helga wiped the tear off, "I'm fine."

"Helga."

Helga began to cry again. "What?"

Phoebe came over to her, sat next to her, and held her close. "It's okay not to be okay."

And with that, Helga burst into tears once more. "He was kissing Janet, Pheebs. It's like...my worst nightmare came true."

"Just let it out."

"He kissed me yesterday, now he just goes off and kisses Janet in front of me."

"He kissed you?"

Helga nodded. "I kissed him at the store, but he kissed me back, and he kissed me again. I told him everything."

"Everything?"

She swallowed. "Everything."

"How did he take it?"

Helga tried to compose herself, it wasn't working very well, but she managed to say, "bad."

"How bad?"

"Well not too bad, disappointed would be a better word to use."

"Why is that?"

"Because I didn't tell him." It was then that Helga's sadness became anger. When she realized that this was all on Arnold. "Can you believe that? He wanted me to just tell him about it. Hello! That's the point of a secret, you don't tell anybody."

"He was probably just surprised. You have to give him a shot. He was confused on the situation."

"It doesn't matter. I'm done."

Helga rose from the floor, and Phoebe followed after her, worried and shocked at the same time. "As in, completely done?"

"Phoebe, I am done with Arnold, for good."