Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor will I ever in the foreseeable future. This is purely for my own, and hopefully your, entertainment.
A/N: Hello! I am back with a new fanfic. Due to lack of interest, I am stopping all of my others, and am taking a dive into a new area of fanfictioness: humour!
Kudos to fellow author nonjon whose fic, 'Birth of a Name', kickstarted this plot bunny. DO check out that story, and many of his others. They are very funny, and well worth a read.
Anyway, this chapter is basically a prologue for this story, with the background of the name 'Voldemort'. Next chapter, we'll be getting into the main section, in which various characters from the Potterverse have a bit of fun with their names, creating their own pseudonyms.
Anyway, enjoy the first chapter of 'Fun With Names"!
Edit: Oops, seems I accidently overwrote this with my other new fic. Mentioning that, do check it out.
Chapter 1: Tom Riddle
Tom Marvolo Riddle, fifth year Slytherin, acknowledged genius, diagnosed sociopath and budding Dark Lord, was extremely bored. Yet again, he sat in his History class, listening to the ghostly professor (who had continued teaching despite having died several earlier) drone on about the latest in a long line of near-identical goblin revolutions. As usual, Tom turned to his own, private projects. This time, it was his name.
Tom was such a muggle name. He needed a dark name, a terrible name, a name to strike fear in the hearts of all the filth that plagued the earth. The Dark Lord Tom didn't quite have that effect.
The only problem was that Tom wasn't the most creative person (unless it was to do with torture), and so had had precious little success. The best he had come up with was 'Dark Lord Doom'. Unfortunately, that name was taken by some fictional muggle supervillain.
He was, however, feeling optimistic for today. He had found a spell that could solve all of his problems: Mutardinem, the Anagram Charm. All he had to do was write out his name, and keep going till he got a good name.
Tom Riddle, he wrote. "Mutardinem," he muttered under his breath.
Dildo Term. What? No, that wouldn't do. "Mutardinem"
Melt Droid. Nope, sounded like something from some muggle sci fi. "Mutardinem."
Tired Mold. Anything with tired in it wouldn't do. "Mutardinem."
D' Timelord. Hmm… what was a timelord? "Mutardinem!" "Mutardinem!" "Mutardinem!"
Model Dirt. Tim Roddle. Dermot Lid. Argh! Perhaps he needed to try something different.
Tom Marvolo Riddle, he wrote. "Mutardinem."
Villatorod Red Mom. Tom's head met the table. "Mutardinem."
Did Martello Vroom? Who on earth was Martello? "Mutardinem."
Overlord Tom Maldi. No Tom! "Mutardinem."
Odd Immortal Lover. He was not odd! And he didn't love! But he was immortal… sorta. "Mutardinem."
Dover Mailroom, LTD. He was a person! A person! "Mutardinem."
Morito Morello DVD. What even is a DVD? "Mutardinem." "Mutardinem." "Mutardinem."
Immoral Toodle VDR. Darrel Vomit Doom. Marvell Doom Droit. Argh! Why was this so hard! "Mutardinem."
All Mordor Vomited. No vomit! No Mordor! "Mutardinem." "Mutardinem." "Mutardinem." "Mutardinem."
He kept going for quite some time, with notable inclusions including:
- Marvore Tom Liddlo
- Dollar Vomited, ROM
- LOL, Ramrod Vomited
- Lord, Molar Vomited
- Droll Omar Vomited
- Mall Devito Mordor
- Vollmero, To Madrid!
- I lov Mad I Mood E, tmrr
- Vroom Tello Madrid!
Tom banged his head on the table. "Stupid spell! Mutardinem!"
He stared at the page. He sat up straighter. He grinned. Perfect.
I am Overlord Moldt!
A/N: So, waddya think? Humorous? Not? Leave a review, and let me know!
Also, I will be posting a couple of other stories fairly soon, so keep your eyes peeled!
Next chapter: Albus Dumbledore!