It took Remus nearly half an hour and several glasses of water for his headache to abate to a dull throb. He kept up a rhythm of steady breaths- in through his nose, out through his mouth- throughout his miserable trudge to the Hospital Wing.
"Remus!" Poppy greeted him, a little too loudly. "What a pleasant surprise!"
"Do you have any pain potions available, Poppy?" Remus asked. "Just for a headache but make it a strong one."
Poppy tutted over him but hurried away, bustling back a moment later with a vial of blessed relief in hand. Remus downed it in one and hung his head, gasping a little when the pain finally ebbed.
"Thanks," he said. "Sorry for the rude greeting."
"Oh, not at all," she replied. "It was a rough night, between the stress and the sleep deprivation and all."
Was it only last night that Sirius Black had broken into Gryffindor tower? Remus felt for the nearest bed and collapsed wearily onto its edge.
"You are looking exceptionally rough, though, I must say," Poppy said disapprovingly.
"Ta, Poppy."
Poppy tutted again. "Did you eat breakfast this morning?"
Remus stared guiltily at his hands.
"Now that just won't do. Matty!"
A house elf appeared before them with a crack. Remus only jumped a little.
"Can you bring up a breakfast tray for Remus, please? Extra protein."
"Oh, Poppy, I can't, I'm really not hungry-"
But Matty had already re-appeared with a tray laden with potatoes, eggs, sausages, and tea. Remus only acquiesced to accept it for the tea, but forced himself to shovel some of the eggs and potatoes into his mouth under Poppy's stern eye. By the time she seemed satisfied enough to turn her attention to inventorying a nearby shelf, Remus admittedly did feel better. He placed the tray on the bedside table and turned to his old matron.
"Poppy, can I talk to you about, well, about Harry Potter?"
Poppy shot him a pitying glance and returned to her parchment. "You can talk to me all you want, Remus, but you know there are some things I'm not allowed to tell you."
"Ah. Because I'm not his guardian."
"I'm sure he feels something like a son to you, being James Potter's boy, but technically-"
"No, no, I understand. But you don't talk to his muggle aunt and uncle about him, do you?"
Poppy peered at him suspiciously over the top of her bifocals. "His Head of House acts in loco parentis while he's at school, you should know that."
"Ah, well, yes, I was actually planning to talk to Minerva anyway. I think I'll, er-"
"She should be coming up soon for Sunday tea, you know. I'm sure you're welcome to join us."
Remus gave her the most gracious look he could muster with the first signs of a headache already making their triumphant return. "Maybe I'll come back with her. Excuse me. Thanks again for the potion."
"You're quite welcome. Don't be a stranger, Remus."
Remus did his best not to run all the way to Minerva's office, a goal that had less to do with upsetting the students he passed in the halls and more to do with the leftover soreness he'd brought upon himself by pacing all night, not to mention the blood rushing painfully through the arteries in his brain. Despite his best efforts, his thighs and head were aching by the time he reached her office, and he paused after his knock more to compose himself than to allow her the courtesy of responding.
"Come in," she called.
Remus pushed open the door and froze on the threshold.
"Lupin," Severus sneered from a pair of wingback chairs by the hearth. "How odd, we were just talking about you."
"Now, Severus-" Minerva began.
"You wouldn't happen to know how Black entered the castle, would you?"
Remus closed his eyes and prayed to any entity at all for the strength to get through this interaction. Minerva must have seen some of this on his face because she conjured him a seat. Remus sank wearily into an armchair and pinched his nose.
"Severus, I swear to you I have not had contact with Sirius Black since 1981 and I have not been helping him into the castle. Now would you please allow me to speak with Minerva, privately?" He raised his eyes to Minerva. "It's rather important."
Severus, infuriatingly, sneered but did not budge from his own seat. "Come to confess your sins, have you?"
"Severus!" Minerva interjected. Remus' temple throbbed.
"If you must know, I have concerns about Harry Potter's guardians," Remus ground out, cradling his forehead in his hands. "I doubt you care about Harry's wellbeing, Severus, so I trust you can see yourself out."
"You don't mean-" started Minerva.
"Harry Potter is an arrogant, entitled child just like his father-"
"Well, I have reason to believe his father would be furious about his treatment at home, so. If you don't mind, Severus, I would like to speak to Minerva about it alone."
Severus' eyes flickered between Remus and Minerva. Remus managed to glare at him for three whole seconds before his head throbbed in protest. Minerva finally spoke up.
"If you could give us a moment, Severus."
Severus sneered half-heartedly at Remus and swooped out of the office, robes billowing officiously behind him.
The door slammed closed. Remus looked at Minerva. Minerva looked at him. Neither seemed to want to speak first, and Remus basked in the sweet silence for just a moment longer before he spoke.
"What do you know about Harry's aunt and uncle?"
"Well, I spent a day observing them before we left Harry with them," said Minerva after a beat. "They seemed, in my opinion, an especially horrid sort of muggle, but they doted on their son- Harry's cousin, I suppose- and they seemed to provide a constant enough home life: steady income, never wanting for food, room enough for two children, the like."
"Did you observe them the day that Harry arrived?"
"Not much; I couldn't take another day off of classes. But Dumbledore assured me he was sending an old Order member to set up nearby and watch over him."
"Who?"
"Arabella Figg, I believe."
"Have you spoken to her at all?"
"No, she's always reported straight to Dumbledore. Remus, what is this about? What do you know?"
Remus' brain felt like it was scraping against his skull. "Know? Very little, honestly. I know Harry's not being treated well, and that he doesn't want to talk about it. I know Lily used to cry over letters from her sister. Did you know that?"
Minerva shook her head.
"Petunia hated magic and she hated Lily for being a witch. Called her awful things. They had a huge row at their parents' wake; I had to physically restrain Sirius from hexing her husband to pieces. He would have deserved it, mind you, he was horrid: quick to anger and even quicker to judge. As far as I know, that was the last time Lily saw or talked to them. They would've been Lily's absolute last choice for guardians, that's what I know."
Minerva sighed. "Forgive my bluntness, Remus, but there were barely any potential guardians left, by the time the war ended. And his godfather in Azkaban!"
Remus winced heartily. "I know, I know. I just… I know, they might have seemed the best idea at the time, but I know they're not good for him."
"How, exactly, do you know, Remus?"
Remus stared for Minerva for two long seconds and then dropped his face into his hands. How do I know? I had a very interesting conversation with Harry's Patronus, which just so happens to be a literal magical incarnation of his unregistered animagus father, who told me through a series of stag charades that he's unhappy with Harry's placement there, which was frankly the least shocking piece of news he imparted to me today. Right. That's a no.
Maybe a more believable lie? James came to me in a dream and told me to get Harry the hell out of Surrey by any means necessary. Better, in terms of credibility, but not exactly cold hard reality on which to build a case.
The answer filtered up through Remus' spine and settled into his brain with the cold tingle of necessity. A warm wave of guilt swelled up from his chest and followed close behind, but he pushed it back down.
"I know the signs of child abuse and neglect, Minerva; I lived with Sirius Black for ten years."
Minerva coughed and sputtered on a sip of tea.
"I know James brought up his concerns to you too. I know nobody was able to intervene and-" I'm sorry, Padfoot- "look where it got him. He never managed to escape his horrid family's influence. I can't let the same thing happen to Harry."
When Remus finally looked up from his hands, Minerva looked like she had aged twelve years in an instant. "I failed him, didn't I?" she whispered.
Remus just barely resisted the urge to groan loudly into his palms. He did not have the energy to talk his old professor down from a guilt trip she probably did deserve over an outcome that apparently did not actually happen, and that he could not explain away nearly as easily.
"Let's focus on Harry," he managed.
Minerva nodded. "What have you noticed?"
Remus stared at her blankly.
"The signs of abuse and neglect; what have you noticed?"
Remus racked his brain for something to bring up to maintain his credibility and realized, to his horror, that he didn't have to search very hard.
"Harry's top of his class in Defense, did you know? My third year curriculum is all dangerous creatures- boggarts, kappas, grindylows, that sort. I managed to bring in some red caps for a practical demonstration; I'd taught them some spells to fend them off, of course, but for younger kids the first trick is just to dodge them. Identify, dodge, outrun, defend. You know the only third-year student who's never once had to use a spell against a red cap? Harry's a natural. A natural at dodging and fleeing."
Minerva hummed. "He's rather agile on a broom, though, too; are you sure it's not just natural athleticism? His father, if you recall-"
"He's rather small for his age, isn't he?" Remus continued. "And skinny, too, though it's hard to tell under those bulky old clothes he wears- strange, isn't it, that he wears ratty overlarge cast-offs if his aunt and uncle have, as you say, a steady income? And I'll admit I watched him a little more than was probably proper at the welcome feast, but I have to say, nobody else at that table- none of the other growing adolescents with healthy appetites- was eating as desperately as Harry was."
Oh Merlin, how had he not put it together earlier? Remus felt his head pound again and told himself the wetness in his eyes was tears of pain. I'm so sorry, Prongs.
Minerva pursed her lips but didn't speak.
"Does he go home for the holidays?" Remus asked. "Christmas, Easter?"
"Not even once."
"Have you seen his home at all? You must be in charge of delivering acceptance letters to muggleborns, aren't you, as Deputy Headmistress?"
"I am, but I believe it was Hagrid who delivered Harry's letter; I vaguely recall that Harry was particularly hard to reach."
Remus bit down a nasty retort. "Did they try to reject his acceptance?"
Minerva frowned. "I don't quite remember. Maybe they just ignored the letter; that would explain the unprecedented amount of owls we sent."
Remus snorted. "I'll bet they loved that."
Minerva pushed back her chair suddenly and stood. "Come with me."
Remus rubbed one last regretful circle into his temples and stood to follow her out of her office. Minerva opened her door to find- Severus, standing right outside, staring at them in shock.
"Severus, I swear to Merlin-" Remus began, but Severus had already turned heel and fled.
Minerva sniffed. "I'll talk to him later. Come with me."
Remus followed. "Where are we going?"
"The Deputy Head office. I don't use it much, as the Transfiguration office is much more conveniently located, but all the official Hogwarts student records are kept in the Deputy Head office."
Remus flitted through several follow-up questions in his mind before he decided that walking and talking at the same time were too taxing on his headache. Finally, they arrived at a small nondescript door at the end of a little-used fourth floor corridor. Minerva opened it with a tap of her wand and ushered Remus inside. Unlike the Headmaster's office, the Deputy Head office was exceedingly dull, as if all the twinkling and clicking instruments had been swapped out for heavy dust-covered tomes and rows of filing cabinets.
Minerva pulled a nondescript leather book from one of the shelves and gestured Remus to a table with two chairs. She sat down beside him and Remus got a glimpse of a faded gold title reading, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry | Book of Admission | Class of 1998 before Minerva opened it and began paging rapidly through it.
Remus watched blocks of information flick by, one, two, three pages at a time. Bones, Hannah. Finch-Fletchley, Justin. Longbottom, Neville. Nott, Theodore. Patil, Padma. Potter, Harry.
Minerva paused on a page titled Potter, Harry. Unlike the other entries before him, Harry seemed to have multiple pages. Minerva hummed in disapproval.
"What is this?" Remus asked, as Minerva flicked through page after page of Potter, Harry.
"It's coming back to me now. We sent him over two hundred Hogwarts acceptance letters, and his aunt and uncle never sent back a response. Eventually we had to send Hagrid himself to- ah, yes, here we are."
Minerva shifted the book to give Remus a better view of the last page of Potter, Harry.
Admitted: 30 October, 1980
Father: James Fleamont Potter, pureblood, deceased
Mother: Lily Evans Potter, muggleborn, deceased
Guardians: Vernon and Petunia Dursley, muggle
Address:
Mr. H. Potter
The Floor
Hut-on-the-Rock
The Sea
Delivered: 31 July, 1991 by R. Hagrid Accepted: 31 July 1991
Remus made a strange sound in the back of his throat. "The floor, hut on the rock, the sea?"
"Ah, yes, well, I always imagined Hagrid was exaggerating slightly in the retelling, to be honest. But it is well documented that the family quite literally fled from his acceptance letters." Minerva started flicking back through the pages of Potter, Harry; the one directly previous to hut-on-the-rock listed the Railview Hotel, Cokeworth. Minerva started turning over several pages at a time, all addressed to room 17 at the Railview Hotel. "It was Dumbledore's idea to send them a couple dozen letters at once; don't ask me why."
Finally, the address changed again- The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. And, was that- something about eggs? Minerva kept shuffling through the pages too quickly for Remus to verify.
"Merlin, how far back does this go?" Remus breathed.
"We did send an exceedingly large amount of letters, yes," Minerva commented drily. She turned a few more pages and suddenly they were looking at a new entry for Perks, Sally-Anne. Minerva flipped the page idly back to the first entry for Potter, Harry, and froze.
Admitted: 30 October, 1980
Father: James Fleamont Potter, pureblood, deceased
Mother: Lily Evans Potter, muggleborn, deceased
Guardians: Vernon and Petunia Dursley, muggle
Address:
Mr. H. Potter
The Cupboard under the Stairs
4 Privet Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey
Delivered: 24 July, 1991 via owl post Accepted:
Remus stared at the entry in horror. "The cupboard under the stairs?" he rasped.
Minerva opened her mouth, floundered, and closed it again.
"Did you know?" Remus asked.
Minerva shook her head furiously.
"You must have. You addressed the letters, didn't you?"
"I must have, but I don't remember, I must have missed it somehow. It's just a simple charm and I send out so many letters every year-"
"You personally addressed a Hogwarts acceptance letter to Harry James Potter, The Boy Who Lived, most famous infant in the entire wizarding world, all grown up and ready for school, and didn't realize you were doing so? He just blended right in with everyone else? It didn't strike you as odd that he was living in the cupboard under the stairs?"
"No, no, it was just a mistake, look," Minerva gestured to the adjacent page with the second entry for Potter, Harry: The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. "They had him in the smallest bedroom, that's not so bad."
"Or they moved him to their spare bedroom after the first letter was addressed to the cupboard under the stairs."
"No." Minerva's denial was soft and entirely unconvincing.
Remus leaped out of his seat in a rage, but his brain gave an almighty throb in protest and he sat right back down. "I'm going to kill them," he growled.
"Oh, Remus, I'm sorry."
"I very much don't believe it's me you should be apologizing to."
"I'm sorry to you too."
"I'm going to kill them," Remus repeated.
Minerva sighed. "Let's go talk to Albus."
Remus snapped his head up out of his hands. "NO!"
"He's the one who placed Harry with his aunt and uncle; he'll be in charge of finding him alternative guardians. I daresay Arthur and Molly Weasley would be the first of many who would be thrilled to take him in."
"No, you can't talk to Dumbledore. Not yet." Remus' head pounded.
"Why not?"
Remus was so tired he really almost let James told me not to slip out. "Ja- just, give me a couple of days, okay? I might… I might know someone who could take him, who would love him, and may even have a legal claim to him. I just need some time."
"I thought the only legal guardian he had left was-"
"Sirius Black, I know, Minerva. But just- please, give me some time?"
"Who-"
"I just need some time, please. My brain feels like it's about to pound out of my skull. I can't handle a conversation with Dumbledore in this condition and I think we both benefit from cooling down a bit. Please, give me some time. Harry's not going anywhere until June, anyway, is he?"
"Well, no, but magical child guardianship takes some time-"
"I daresay if we need the ministry to expedite some paperwork for the bloody Boy Who Lived, I'm sure we can. All I'm asking for is a few weeks. I only just realized this morning."
Minerva's lips pursed so thin and pale they practically vanished into her face, but she nodded. "Of course, Remus. Take your time. Merlin knows I certainly took my time realizing it."
"You must be due for tea with Poppy soon anyway, aren't you?"
Minerva started and cast a hurried tempus. "Bother. I'm never late to these things." She stood up and swiftly returned the Book of Admission to the shelf. As she strode toward the door, Remus held out a hand to still her.
"See what Poppy thinks, will you?"
"About Harry's muggle relatives?"
"About his health."
Minerva's eyes darkened. "I swear to Merlin, Remus, if they beat him-"
"I know."
"I'm sure you do."
With that, Minerva left. Remus sat alone in silence and willed his headache away. Cruelly, the longer he sat still and let the adrenaline wear off, the more he registered the aches along the rest of his body. He debated following Minerva back to the infirmary for another dose of pain potion, acknowledged he would not be able to turn away from the conversation he would be interrupting, and decided he was better off just going to bed.
He made his way back to his quarters, trying to dodge the whispers that still hung around the student body like cloaks- surely it was at least a week ago that Sirius had broken into Gryffindor tower? But he made it, hips creaking, calves protesting, head throbbing, back to his rooms, into his softest pyjamas, and sank into blessed, blissful sleep.
He should have known it wouldn't last.
He was woken much too soon, if the pounding in his head had anything to say about it, by a synchronous pounding on his door. Remus had only time to sit up and reach for a dressing gown before Severus swooped into his chambers uninvited. Remus' sleep-addled mind took a moment to be amused that Severus tried so hard to act like some great vampire bat, but he obviously couldn't be a vampire if he just barged into people's rooms like that. Although maybe all the rooms in the castle just counted as Hogwarts, and he'd already been invited into Hogwarts-
"Lupin."
Right.
"Listen, Severus, if you want to interrogate me about Sirius Black, I promise I will let you do so as long as you like, tomorrow, once I've caught up on my sleep. You can call me all the horrid names you want-"
"Shut up Lupin, if you know what's good for you. I'm not here for that."
"Oh."
"Are you or are you not currently building a case for child abuse against Petunia Evans Dursley and her husband?"
Remus sighed and dropped his aching head into weary hands. "If you've come here to cast more aspersions about Harry because he looks too much like James-"
"I am not."
Remus lifted his head just enough to lift an inquisitive eyebrow at Severus.
"You may or may not be aware that I had the displeasure, in my youth, of being. . . acquainted with Petunia Evans."
"Oh."
"Minerva informed me she intended to pay Petunia a visit to. . . follow up on documentation about a…" Severus' lip twitched. "Cupboard under the stairs. I only came to inform you that I intend to do so myself."
Remus' eyebrows rose before he could school his features into placidity. He took a moment to study Severus' face; he was always better at hiding his emotions but Remus knew that expression of loathing all too well. It was strange, though, to see it directed at somebody else.
"You want to be the one to talk to Petunia about Harry?"
"Talk, in a way, yes. Minerva figured she may prefer a visit from an old acquaintance." Severus' lips twisted into a cold smile.
Remus' temples throbbed. "Somehow I get the feeling you don't believe that."
"Frankly," said Severus, drawing out the two syllables with maximum disdain, "I couldn't care less what Petunia may prefer."
"Severus," said Remus, pinching the bridge of his nose, "The Wizengamot will not take well to extrajudicial punishment of muggles nor unlawful kidnapping of Harry Potter. And they will take even worse to it if it is orchestrated, in part, by a werewolf and an ex-Death Eater." Severus snorted but Remus plowed on. "And they will not accept evidence that has been obtained by practicing any kind of mind magic on muggles without their consent. And I doubt that any of them would give consent to legilimency. Are you listening to me?"
Severus rolled his eyes- were they fourteen again?- and crossed his arms, but said nothing.
"I'm sure Minerva said the same thing when you offered your services to her."
Severus sighed heavily, turned on his heel, and left the room. Remus listened to his sharp footsteps traversing his office and then his door slamming shut.
Remus buried his face in his hands. His head still ached. He told himself Severus was not, indeed, fourteen again, that he was capable of behaving like a responsible adult. He laid back down on his bed, closed his eyes, and surrendered once again to sleep.