Lord of the Rings 2003 DVD extras

by Erin Wood

Per request, all of the parts left out of the LOTR 2003 trilogy! What can I say? We couldn't help ourselves! A new part is finally here!

50. The Birth of Amowiel and Dominic

AN- Is it weird I like to torture my self insert Mary Sue so much? Yes. Yes it is. Will I keep doing it anyway? Yes. Yes I will.

The Birth of Amowiel & Dominic

Erin knew that there was something wrong when Niori wasn't there waiting for them. The other girl had known that they were coming (the ravens Niori had gotten to send messages back and forth were quick), and it was the first time they were all going to see each other in four months. Instead of Niori, or even Legolas, Aldor was the one who found Jane, Erin, and their husbands on the path that lead to the halls.

"Hello…" Frodo began to give a cheerful greeting, but something about Aldor's face made his words trail off.

"Where's Niori?" Erin asked, her voice worried.

Aldor's face fell, and Erin's stomach clenched painfully. Jane sent her a panicked look.

"She couldn't come. She's…she's not doing well."

Oh my God the pregnancy, Erin panicked, …something was going wrong with her pregnancy.

"What's wrong!" Jane cried.

"Legolas can describe it better than I," Aldor replied, gesturing for them to continue.

The only thing that stopped Erin and Jane from taking off was that didn't remember the way. Thankfully, Aldor led them at an almost jogging pace, knowing that the girls were near having heart attacks. They finally arrived at the halls, and then Jane and Erin did bolt. They did remember where Niori's room was. They flew through the halls, and anyone they passed just moved out of their way. When they finally arrived, they found Legolas sitting on the floor outside his door, his head in his hands.

If Erin had been scared before, now she was terrified.

"Legolas?" Jane's voice was high pitched with worry.

Legolas looked up at them, but it took a moment for his eyes to actually focus on them. To say he looked terrible would be an understatement, Everything about him looked haggard, right down to the look in his eyes. The only time he had ever looked this bad was when Niori had gone missing during the last war and those horrible months that came after…and this was worse. It looked like he tried to give them a smile, but it only came out as a grimace.

"Oh my God," Erin fell down on her knees beside the Elf, "what's wrong with her?"

"What's not wrong with her," Legolas replied, his voice cracked and desperate.

Erin waited for Legolas to continue, and Jane latched onto her arm painfully.

"It started last month…her seventh month," his voice was barely above a whisper, "she was getting so tired. We both thought it was worry about what month it was. She had been doing so well…she was so healthy! One day she just collapsed, and since then she's barely been out of bed because she's so weak. She can't really eat, because everything comes right back up. The only thing she can keep down is water. She's bled half a dozen times in the past two weeks…"

"What about the babies?" Jane asked in a horrified whisper.

It would kill Niori if she lost the babies. God, it would kill Legolas too.

"She hasn't lost them, and she can still feel them kick. The midwife tells us they're fine…" Legolas looked pained and now there were tears in his eyes, "and after giving Niori and I that news, she pulled me aside to tell me that if the babies survive, then the chances of Niori surviving their birth is slim."

"Oh my God…" Erin whispered in complete horror. This couldn't be happening! When Jane and Erin had left her, Niori had been so healthy, so happy. How could it go so wrong so fast?

"I can't lose her," Legolas moaned, "…but I can't lose them either. If she gives live birth to them she'll probably die…but for her to survive, the twins would die. Even if she were able to survive that, a part of her would die anyway. If she loses our twins like she did our son, she'll never forgive herself…never be the same. I don't think she'd let herself live after that."

Now Erin and Jane were crying too. Erin hugged him tightly, attempting to give him comfort. At first Legolas stayed slack, then he returned the hug, seeming to cling to her. Erin's mind was whirling and she thought she was going to be sick. This couldn't be happening, not to Niori. Niori couldn't die getting something she desired so much.

"Does she…does she know?" Jane managed to ask, hugging Legolas when Erin let go.

Legolas shook his head, "The midwife has only told me, but do you really think it would matter?"

It wouldn't. More than once Niori had shown she would die for those she loved. She wouldn't hesitate to give her life so that her children could live.

"Can we see her?" Erin asked, desperately needing to rush in and throw her arms around her friend, "Is she up for visitors?"

"Erin," this time Legolas did manage a small half smile, "she's still angry that she couldn't get up to greet you."

The minute Legolas gave that yes, Erin and Jane both were on their feet and ripping open the door. They passed through the front part of the apartment without stopping. When they came to the bedroom proper, they froze. Niori was sitting propped up in her bed, and if it wasn't for the size of her stomach, she looked more a woman with anorexia than one that was pregnant. Her face was gaunt, with her cheek bones protruding and her eyes shrunken and surrounded with black rings. Her skin was ashy grey and it looked like she had lost drastic muscle mass from every other part of her body. Just like her cheek bones, her collar bone looked like it was trying to burst out of her skin. They both figured that they'd be able to count her ribs if they saw them. Niori really did look like she was dying.

"Hey guys!" her smile was genuine, but it looked ghastly on her face. Erin and Jane were still unable to talk. "Oh come on," Niori rolled her eyes, "I know that I look straight out of Dawn of the Dead, but you don't have to stand there gawking like idiots. I've looked just this wretched before you know." Even if she looked like death, Niori was still the same old Niori.

"Well," Erin finally managed, "you certainly have looked better."

"Really, really better," Jane said under her breath.

"Give the girl a prize," Niori spoke again, shaking her head, "and you know, I'm not contagious, so you can take a seat."

Niori gestured to the very comfy looking chairs. Erin and Jane automatically did as they were told, almost fearing to irritate her anymore. Getting pissed off probably wasn't good for Niori's already fragile health.

"Okay," Niori said after a few more moments of silence, "give me news from the outside world. I'm starting to wonder if it even exists anymore."

"Well…" Jane began to tell Niori everything about the past four months, from their journey to the Shire and then back. Erin added details frequently and Niori was totally enthusiastic about what she was being told. That struck Erin as odd. Niori could listen with excitement when it was a topic she actually cared about, but Erin couldn't remember a time when she had been this animate about it someone's travelling.

"You know," Niori cut Jane off for a moment and looked up to where Legolas stood in the doorway, "you can go eat, or sleep, or some other normal daily function. I mean, the girls are here to baby sit me," Legolas looked reluctant, and Niori pointed to the door, "Out. I love you Legolas, but a full hour or so of not seeing you might be a healthy thing for our relationship."

Legolas finally did concede with her wishes with a nod of his head. The minute Legolas was gone and the door closed Niori visibly sagged. A shaky breath escaped from her and she leaned her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes. Erin and Jane were both shocked. In an instant, Niori had gone from bouncy excitement to looking completely drained. A minute ago she had looked horrible in a way that was fine, now she just looked terrible.

After a few moments and five ragged breaths, Niori opened her eyes, which had now lost almost all of their light, and looked at them. "I can't let him see me like this," she whispered, "the worry is killing him already. I have to make it seem like it's not as bad as it really is, for him…but it's getting so much harder…"

Erin understood. She would do the same, because Frodo suffering over her suffering would only make her feel worse. Not only that, but Erin had seen it. The Legolas she had tried to comfort in the hall wouldn't be able to take it if he found out that even Niori's buoyant spirit was an act.

"It's that bad…" Jane whispered in horror.

"Oh Jane," Niori moaned, "…it's so much worse."

Then Niori did something she hadn't done in a long time. She burst into tears. "I'm so scared!" she cried, nearly sobbing, "I'm terrified…I'm not going to survive this. How can I survive this? And…and how can they survive? I'm a mess. I can't even eat for Christ's sake, and if I'm not getting any nutrition then neither are they. Carla promised me…SHE PROMISED ME! They're supposed to be fine, but how can they be? I'm going to lose them….just like I lost him-" When she mentioned her first baby, Niori broke down completely and couldn't talk anymore.

Erin got onto the bed and hugged her friend, careful not to squeeze too tight in case she could break her. Jane was rubbing Niori's back and whispering soothing words. Legolas was so right to be terrified.

"Carla wouldn't lie," Jane soothed, "if she said you were going to have two beautiful, healthy children then you're going to."

But, Erin thought, Carla never promised that Niori would live to see those two beautiful children. Could Carla have told Niori about the twins not only to make Niori feel less guilty about surviving when Carla didn't, but to make sure that Niori knew why she was going to die? Did she tell Niori that so she wouldn't regret it dying for them?

"God, Lillianna was right…" Niori whispered, "I'm not strong enough. She said that, and she was actually right…"

"You will say no such thing!" Erin snapped, releasing Niori, "If I hear you agree with anything that bitch said, I'll slap you no matter how awful you look."

"But-"

"No! Damnit Niori! You're probably the strongest person I know! You came from the most dysfunctional family of all time, managed to get through one stillborn child without going insane, and I've seen you survive rape and torture, fight your way through alcoholism, live through multiple near death experiences, and it is also worth mentioning that you managed to be around the abovementioned Elf bitch for an extended period of time without killing her. Even after all that, you're trying to tell me you're not strong enough to do something? That's bullshit Niori, and you know it!" Erin didn't mean to yell at her, but she couldn't help it. If Niori was going through normal self pity she would have been fine with it, but this was not going to happen. That would bring Niori to an all new low, and Erin wasn't going to let her fall anymore.

"I'm glad you're here," Niori whispered, "I knew the two of you would get here and not baby me, would slap me upside the head when I needed it."

"That's what we're here for," Jane said, "to hold your hand and tell you that it's going to be alright, and then snap at you when you go and say stupid things like that."

"You know I don't believe you about the alright part," Niori told Jane point blank, "because this is not alright."

For the first time Erin felt guilty about how easy her pregnancy with Elijah had been. She had been trudging around Middle Earth and it hadn't gotten anywhere near as bad as Niori was right now. Even the birth itself had been over in under an hour.

"And he blames himself," Niori whispered, "I've over heard him talking to Aldor, no matter how much he tries to make sure I don't. When he found out about last time, he overheard someone's theory about the baby dying because we're different races and my body can't handle the difference…because he's an Elf."

Jane's face completely drained of colour. "Oh my God," she whispered in horror, "it was Carla and I. We were trying to put a reason to it, trying to figure out a way that didn't mean you just couldn't have children. I can't believe Legolas overheard…"

Worrying over Legolas was only making everything harder on Niori, but there was no way she could stop.

"Niori, I am so sorry…"

"And he won't listen to me," Niori continued in misery, "I keep telling him that it's something wrong with me, but he just doesn't hear it. I don't understand why. I'm the one who lost the child…and it's not like I have fully human kids to compare with! If the race thing is the reason, it's as much my fault for being a stupid human."

Erin wanted desperately to tell Niori that there was nothing wrong with her, but Erin thought that would be a lie, and knew Niori would see it as one. There was probably some medical reason that her friend was going through all of this.

"And the thing that kills me most? Because of your stupid theory," Jane winced at Niori's words, "he wishes the twins weren't his. He thinks that him being an Elf is what's killing me, so he would rather them be someone else's. He knows how much I want kids, and if it meant that I could have them without suffering, he'd rather they were my rapist's, because Aras was human."

Erin's mouth dropped open in shock. Never in a million years would she have ever believed that possible, yet when she really thought about it, she could see it. Legolas had almost lost Niori before, far too many times, so now he would do anything to keep her. Not only that, but after all of her suffering, do anything to see her happy. Becoming a mother was what Niori wanted. Erin couldn't honestly say if Frodo would feel the same way if it was her. Until that moment, Erin hadn't truly realized just how much Legolas loved Niori.

Jane looked like she was going to be sick.

"Legolas tries so hard to hide it all from me, but I know him. Sometimes I think I can almost read his mind. God knows he knows me just as much, so he can probably see right through my act, but I have to try to make this easier on him…just like he's trying for me." Niori paused, listening. Erin did the same and could hear footsteps approaching. Niori quickly wiped the tears off of her face and did her best to make it look like she hadn't been crying. "Say a word to him and I'll get out of this bed and kick your ass," she warned them, and Erin knew she meant it.

Just as Legolas appeared in the doorway, Niori picked up their original question where it had left off. "Okay, the Shire sounds like it's probably the most boring place in the world, but I totally can't wait to visit!" she looked up to Legolas in the doorway, "That's going to be our first family vacation." Just like that Niori was bouncy again. She showed absolutely no sign of the turmoil she had been in only seconds before.

"I look forward to being able to see the Shire for the first time," Legolas replied, giving Niori a soft, genuine smile.

Though Erin knew that they were all wondering, Niori included, if she'd even be alive to make that visit.

l.l.l.

Erin returned to her room in a state of shock. She barely noticed anything that went on around her as a sense of numbness settled within her. If she was numb, then she couldn't feel the painful dread and fearful panic that was threatening to claw its way out. She couldn't give into the hysteria that wanted to envelope her. She couldn't begin to imagine what her life would be like without Niori in it. She honestly couldn't.

What would it be like? Knowing that that spark of mischievous wit was no longer in the world? That she'd never hear that amused voice make an inappropriate comment ever again? Knowing that Niori, in all her flawed and sometimes unbalanced glory, was gone?

It didn't matter that they lived so far away. The distance was nothing. Knowing that Niori was happy kept away most of the missing and home sickness. If Niori was dead, it would be so much different. How could Erin live with that? She still wasn't over losing Carla. She couldn't deal with Niori's death, not so close to the other girl's. Niori couldn't die. She just couldn't.

When she opened the door to her room, Frodo was instantly there, "What's happened? What's wrong?"

The worry in her husband's voice made her snap out of her daze. She focused on him and saw the worry also reflected on his face. "It's bad Frodo. It's so bad."

Then Erin began to cry. Awkward height difference aside, Frodo still managed to pull her into his arms and held onto her. Erin clung to him, grabbing onto him like he was the lifesaver that was the only thing keeping her afloat. Frodo didn't ask any more questions, just held her and let her cry. Erin could feel his worry, could tell that he had so many questions he wanted to ask. He cared about Niori too, was terrified for her safety as much as Erin was. Niori had been his friend for a long time, and he could tell by seeing Erin's reaction that something was very wrong. He wanted to ask, wanted to demand answers, but he knew he'd get nothing from Erin for now. More than that, Frodo saw the pain his wife was in and didn't want to cause anymore for as long as he could.

Finally, Erin's tears tempered off, even as her body kept shaking in silent sobs. He simply tightened his grip on her. Frodo didn't know how long they stood there, but when Erin was no longer trembling violently, Frodo led her towards the bed and sat her down on the edge of it. He sat down beside her and took her hand, and then just waited for her to say something.

"She's dying Frodo! I think she's dying!"

Frodo didn't ask questions, but just held his wife tightly as she started to weep again. She didn't try to talk after making that initial statement because coherent thoughts were barely making it through her mind. Frodo had known that something was wrong with Niori, but even as his wife and Jane had rushed off to see her, he hadn't imagined it being that bad. How could it be that horrible? A few short months again she had been the picture of health! From Erin's reaction at the moment, it was very bad. Frodo whispered soothing words into her ear as he stroked her hair.

"She…" Erin stammered, "Oh God. How can this be happening? She can't die Frodo…she just can't! She…she looks like death! It's so…so bad!" She continued to babble and cry, and Frodo just continued to hold her, "Why is it her?" Erin was close to hysterics, "Why is it always her?" She couldn't talk after that, since she was crying too hard.

What could he say to make her feel better? What could he do to keep her calm? With a grimace, Frodo realized that unless he could bring Niori's health back, there was nothing. The only thing he could do now was let Erin scream and cry and pray nothing got worse.

l.l.l.l

Niori was a mess, and she knew that she wasn't going to get any better. Even if she survived giving birth, she knew that afterwards it was going to be a long time before she was up for full parenthood. There were already signs of that, and one of those signs was despite how far along she was, she was barely producing any milk. It wouldn't be enough to feed one baby, let alone two. Niori knew for a fact she wouldn't be able to breastfeed. She wasn't one of those people who got in arms about babies drinking from a bottle -whatever worked- but she also knew that nursemaids were a thing in Middle Earth as well. So she was about to ask a huge favour from a friend.

"My Lady Niori," one of her attendants came into her sitting room, as far as she had been able to get from bed before she felt too dizzy to go on (and with Jane's help at that), "The Lady Mila is here."

"Bring her here, please and thank you."

Months ago, just two weeks after Mila and her family had first left, one of Mirkwood's sentries had come to inform Niori they were at the boarders again, asking for her. She had rushed out to meet them, happy but confused. When she asked what had brought them back, both husband and wife looked uncomfortable.

"We received word from family we were traveling to that their village was destroyed as well," Mila explained, and Niori understood.

"You need a place to stay."

"Only until we've settled on another plan!" Mila's husband assured her, and the tone told Niori it stung his pride to ask this, even of Mila's friend.

"Then you shall be our honoured guests," Legolas said, coming up behind Niori, "for as long as you need."

Mila and her family were given a room close to theirs, and kept to themselves and Niori and Legolas for the most part. It was clear they were less comfortable in Mirkwood, now that the other non-Elf refugees had left, even if the Elves were polite to them. The two boys were different. They loved to explore and Legolas indulged them by taking them through the halls and forest. It was the first time she had ever seen Legolas acting so attentive to young children, and it made Niori's heart jump, just a little. Niori spent a lot of her time with Mila and her husband, until he finally relaxed around her, and a great deal of time cuddling Bella. After a week, when Mila and her husband finally decided they would see if they could make a life for themselves in Dale, Niori squealed in excitement.

"You'll be so close!" She hugged Mila once she told her the news. Close enough that they could see each other all the time, that Niori could watch Bella grow up.

"It's one of the reasons," Mila had admitted, "neither of us had really left our village before the war broke out. Having friends close by makes such a change less terrifying."

Niori thought about her new place in Mirkwood and understood, "You know we'll help in whatever way we can," at least in whatever way the family would accept, "I'm not above using my or my fiancé's privilege to get what I want. Or just bribery. We'll be soccer moms together! PTA meetings and everything," Niori laughed at the confused look on Mila's face, "Sorry. It's a my world thing. But we'll be mommy friends. We'll organize playdates and sleepovers while we sip tea and complain," another look, another laugh, "Again, my world. Basically, we'll be friends and raise our kids closely together."

Mila was delighted by the idea, and they made plans for a visit after they were settled. Niori had gotten to Dale once before things started to go wrong. Mila hadn't gotten back since they left, not until Niori sent a message calling her back to ask for a favour of her own.

When Mila walked into the room, she stopped speechless when she saw Niori sitting there. By now, it was the most common reaction.

"Oh Niori," the other woman gasped, hand covering her mouth in shock.

"Surprise," Niori, attempting humour even though she felt anything but, used weak jazz hands.

Mila took a seat across from her and leaned forward to clasp both her hands in hers. They didn't talk for a long time, and Niori was grateful she didn't have to explain again. One look at her and Mila knew all there was to know, and didn't need the danger explained to her.

"How's everything going with you?" Niori finally asked, breaking the silence.

"We're getting along. The boys love Dale and my husband has been able to find enough odd jobs and work to support our stay at the end. I've taken in mending. Soon enough, we'll be able to save for a small place of our own."

They were starting a life there, and a good one. It wasn't on solid ground yet, but the foundations were being built. And now here was Niori, about to ask them to disrupt it again.

"Mila, I'm about to ask you the most invasive question I probably ever will- are you still breastfeeding Bella?" And for all the wild comments that came out of Niori's mouth, that was the one that made her blush.

Mila's mouth fell open at the questions, but she managed to answer, "Yes, but I plan to start to wean her within a month or two."

Niori knew what she wanted to ask, but couldn't find the words. She was tongue tied for once, and couldn't move forward. Mila, however, was intelligent enough to understand.

"You'll need a nursemaid and you'd ask it to be me."

"Yeah, but I'm not going to try and guilt you into it. I know it's a lot, being willing to use your body for another woman's children. And it'd just mess up your new life- it's too much work for a daily commute, so you'd either have to separate from your family or all of you would have to move back here. I promise it won't hurt the future you're building if you all come. There are tutors here so the boys can still be schooled. Your husband can have a job running messages back and forth between Mirkwood and Dale and Lake Town. I already asked. I'd offer to pay you for your services to me, but I think you'd take that as an insult. If you still want to do sewing repairs, things get ripped here all the time, but you won't have to. Room and food are free, so all your money could be saved for a house. I know-"

"Niori!" Mila cut off Niori's frantic rambling, voice firm, "Calm down!"

Niori nodded, swallowing roughly and putting her mind back in order, "Sorry. I'm just really anxious."

"I'm honoured by your request Niori, and it would not be some great sacrifice, but you do ask a lot."

"I know, and there will be no hard feelings if you say no, from me or Legolas. We'll figure something else out. We've managed to deal with things so far."

"I can't decide now. Even if I wanted to agree right away, this is something I have to decide with my husband."

"Of course! I won't need an answer right away. It doesn't matter, not for about a month. There's plenty of time for your family to figure things out. Legolas and I too, if you can't."

The topic dropped from there and they moved onto other things. Mila spoke of her children and their welfare. She talked about all three, but spent extra time talking about Bella for Niori's sake. Before she left, Mila promised to bring Bella for a visit no matter what decision she made. They hugged before Mila left to be escorted back to Dale.

A week later, a message arrived in Mila's handwriting. It was three simple words and it made Niori burst into relieved tears.

'I'll do it.'

l.l.l.l.l

Both she and Arien had known that something was wrong. It was just a feeling that Silmarwen had, a sense of dread that had coiled in the lower regions of her stomach. She was not ill and yet felt her stomach turning. It was a feeling that would not go away. When Arien had told her that the same feeling had been bothering her, Sil knew that there was something truly wrong. There were only two people who were so closely bonded to the two of them that the sixth sense could connect them. Their brother and Niori.

Since they were both in Minas Tirith they knew that it wasn't Eldarion. That left only Niori. When Silmarwen had realized what month Niori's pregnancy had just passed, dread turned into near panic. The two of them had left the next morning. They went by themselves in order to travel as fast as they could. They rode hard, instinctively knowing that they were needed. When they had arrived and discovered just how correct their sense of wrong was, they had both thanked whatever being had decided to send them the ominous feeling.

When they had first entered Niori's room, both had frozen in shock. They had seen Niori in her worse physical condition, and when they saw her now it was a throw back to that. Flashbacks had flown through Sil's mind and they made her shiver. She had closed her eyes to will them away, until Niori's surprised voice forced her to open them again.

"Sil? Arien? What are you guys doing here? You're not supposed to come for another couple weeks."

"We had a feeling that you needed us," was Arien's shaky answer.

It was in that instant that Silmarwen went from sister and friend to healer. She marched to Niori's bed and begun to inspect her. "Are you eating?" she asked, the first thing that worried her was the thinness of the other girl. In her mind Sil was going through a list of things that could help with that problem. Out loud she was firing off another question. "Sleeping?"

"Some days it's the only thing I can do," Niori admitted.

"Any cramps or bleeding?"

"A few times," was her next answer.

Silmarwen went through all this, her thoughts all business as the healer in her came up with ways to help her friend.

"Sil," Niori interrupted her line of thought, "sit down. I do have healers looking after me."

"None of them will look after you the way I do," Sil had replied matter of factly.

That made Niori laugh. The sound was harsh and raspy, and it took will power for Sil not to wince at it. "I believe that," Niori was smiling, "and thanks Hon, but right now the way you can help me best is by distracting me."

Arien then launched into recounting things that were going on in her life, Sil's life, and their brother's life. There was a forced cheerfulness in her tone, but either Niori didn't hear it or chose to ignore it. Silmarwen joined in whenever a question was thrown her way or she was needed to fill in details, but her mind was still elsewhere.

Now, three days later, she was still carefully monitoring Niori's health and that of her babies. She was doing all that she could to help, and even more important, the healers here were letting her. Back in Minas Tirith she had seen the petals of a certain flower used to help calm morning sickness. It didn't stop the sickness for Niori, but it did allow her to eat more. It was only a little broth over a few hours, but at least she could keep it down. It was helping, but not enough to make a real difference. Silmarwen had realized very quickly that though her physical state was in terrible condition, it was Niori's mental state that was worse off.

Sil was on her way to Niori's room, a tray with broth and water in her hands. She planned to sit with Niori for a few hours, not only to look after her but to talk with her. That was what Niori needed most at the moment. She needed friends who would stay with her and keep her mind away from all that was going wrong. Of course, if Niori was sleeping she'd have to come back later, but Sil didn't mind.

When she reached the room Silmarwen knocked gently on the door, hoping that if Niori was asleep the sound wouldn't wake her up. When Sil opened the door she was stunned to see that Niori wasn't in her bed. Instead the other girl was standing, both hands flat on her vanity to support herself. Her entire body was shaking, her clothes were soaked through with sweat, and she was crying. It was obvious that she was in pain.

Without a thought Silmarwen dropped the tray she was holding and dashed across the room to her friend. "What's wrong!"

"I can't do this Sil!" Niori was almost sobbing, "for the past hour I've been battling with myself about getting someone who doesn't know to bring me a drink! I'm pregnant and I know it'll hurt them…but the sane part of my mind is losing! I know it'll make me forget how much it hurt to lose him…and imagine how much it'll hurt again. I just want it to stop Sil…I just want to be numb, and that's the only way I know how…"

Sil wrapped her arms around Niori's shoulders and held her tightly, both to steady and to giver her comfort. "It's okay," she murmured soothingly, "it's okay."

She led Niori back to the bed and forced her to sit down on it. Sil didn't remove her arm from around her shoulders. Niori buried her head into the princess's neck and continued to cry.

"It's not," Niori managed to get through her tears and sobs, "no Sil it's not."

Silmarwen couldn't truly refute that claim, but she continued to whisper reassuring words in Niori's ear anyway. How could they have missed this? How could none of them realized that she was fighting this particular battle? Better yet, how could they have not expected it? The need to drink would always be part of her, always below the surface and in the back corner of her mind. It was part of Niori and always would be.

She and Niori had spoken about it before, back just before Silmarwen had left Mirkwood all those months ago. After Jane and Erin had left, it was clear to anyone who really knew Niori that she was having a hard time dealing with it. Especially when Sil and Arien would be leaving a few days later. Seeing the concealed pain in her friend's eyes, Silmarwen had sought Niori out. When she found her, Niori had opened up with a little probing.

"I'm happy," Niori had told her, "God I'm happy, but that doesn't make all of you leaving any less hard. My support system besides Legolas will all be so far away. That's still not the same. I love you guys so much. The idea that you guys are gone or going leaves me with an empty, gaping place in my heart. It hurts, knowing that I'm kind of alone here."

"You have lots to do yes?" Sil had asked, "To prepare for the babies? Won't that help?"

"Oh it will," Niori had replied with a small smile, "and so will just being with Legolas, but it'll still be hard. My mind won't be occupied all of the time, no matter how much Legolas will try to keep it that way." Sil had noticed the smile fade and knew that there was something deeper that Niori needed to talk about. "Just," she then started up again, "it's stressful yeah? Not stress like pulling my hair out, but it's still stress. And that makes being an alcoholic so much harder, stress does. So right now it's harder than what was been for a week. I hate it."

As Silmarwen recalled that conversation now, she saw proof of what Niori had told her. This was the worst stress Niori could go through and it was bringing up her most destructive desires as way to deal with it.

"You can do this Niori," Silmarwen pulled away so she could look directly into Niori's eyes, "you've fought this before and won. You're strong and you're brave. You will do this Niori."

Niori nodded her head, but her face didn't hold any less pain.

"Please don't leave," Niori was near begging, "stay with me okay? Just hold me for a little while?"

Silmarwen complied without complaint. She just put her arms around Niori and held her tight. For her part Niori clung to her, using Sil as an anchor to keep her sane.

l.l.l

Two weeks had passed since they had arrived, and Niori was only getting worse. Bad enough that she couldn't even keep up her 'I'm really okay' act. Whenever they were with her, they all tried to put on their own 'Everything is alright' act, but Niori wasn't buying it. She knew they were all lying. Worst of all, in Jane's opinion, was the acceptance in Niori's eyes. Yes, Niori would fight with everything she had, but she had already accepted that she was going to die.

Jane hated seeing that look in her friend's eyes. She hated how helpless it made her feel. All she wanted to do was help Niori and take away her pain, but there was nothing she could do. All anyone could do was watch and pray.

"Why is it," she had asked Erin, "that it's always Niori who comes close to dying? How many times has she almost died? Three?"

"Four," Erin had replied softly, "but this time…" Erin's voice had trailed off, but Jane understood where she had been going. This time it looked like Niori's luck was running out. Even if Niori lived, if her children died in her place, Niori wouldn't survive. It wouldn't take long for Niori to end it so she could try and find her lost children in wherever came next.

They weren't the only ones who thought it. Though Legolas didn't have the same acceptance, there was only desperation in his eyes. It was just as bad. If Niori died, it would destroy him. So many people would suffer, Jane would admit that he might suffer the most, maybe even more than her and Erin.

And then what would happen to those little babies that Niori was willing to die for? With Niori dead and Legolas broken, what would happen to their children? Would they stay in Mirkwood, amongst the Elves who would never understand their human side? Could they go with any of the humans that loved their mother, and then live forever and watch those mortals die? Could those twins born of two worlds survive in a world without their parents from each?

Anytime Jane's thoughts drifted that way, her stomach turned and she bit back nausea. It was too dark, but she couldn't help but think about it. It even haunted her dreams. Visions of Niori's corpse, of putting flowers on her grave, chased her awake every night. They hurt her so much that even vocalizing them made her choke up, so they stayed silent about them and let them haunt her. It was one of those dreams -Niori in a bloody bed, eyes vacant and skin drained white- that Jane was trying to escape from. She hadn't woken up Elijah, had just fled the room in tears. She had been wandering ever since, and unless any of the posted guards protested, she would probably do so until morning.

Jane didn't look where she was going, only walked up, down, and around the twisting root pathways, until she found her way to the upper levels, where the halls led to the outside world. There were gardens here, beautiful ones that Jane didn't even notice. The air -fresh and cool- helped clear her head, but the silence (and there was so much silence in these halls now, growing worse every day that Niori got worse, and it hung over them like a shroud) only made her morbid thoughts harder to force away.

"Jane," the sound of her name made Jane jump, and she whirled around to face the voice. She found Legolas sitting on a bench surrounded by roses. He looked sick and bone tired, which was no different than he had looked for months. His eyes weren't desperate anymore though, just sad.

Jane held back tears at the sight. Legolas had been the last hold out, and now even he had accepted Niori was going to die. If even he had given up hope, then there couldn't be any hope left for Niori.

"Hi," she finally answered, ready to walk away and let them both get back to their depression. She didn't, because how could she see him like this and just walk away? He was her friend, and he stood more to lose than any of them save Niori. Instead, she sat down beside him. Jane had no idea what to say, but she hoped that her being here with him would be comforting.

They sat in silence for a long time, but eventually Legolas broke that silence. His voice was soft and almost blank, "My mother planted these flowers."

Jane looked at them more closely, and thought without emotion or appreciation that they were beautiful. They were a shade of red-pink she had never seen before, and bigger than most of types she had ever come across. They had to be sturdy, if they lasted this long.

"When she died," Legolas continued, "my father forbid anyone from coming here. I think he wanted the flowers to die with her, but they didn't. They grew wild instead, before my brother and sister ignored his orders and snuck up to tend them. I was still young, and they left me behind. They didn't trust me to keep a secret."

Jane didn't know where this was coming from or where it was going, but she let him talk.

"Father found out eventually. He was angry, and that's when my sister left. She couldn't bear it anymore, staying in this broken place. Father left the garden open after that. It was to give Aldor and I comfort, to make sure we stayed, because he has never set foot in this place, as far as I know. But he grew even colder. Even now, centuries later, he is still different."

Then Jane got it, and reached over to squeeze his hand, "You're not your dad Legolas. You're not going to turn out like him if..." she couldn't finish the sentence.

"I would follow Niori. I would fade from this world and discover a way to find her spirit in the next. From the moment she told me she loved me, I knew it would. But I thought it would be at the end of a long life together. I feared it would be in a battle, where she would truly be cut down and die a warrior's death. I dreaded it, but it wouldn't have changed my decision. I never would have imagined this is how I would lose her...dead on what should be one of her happiest moments. We haven't had enough time. I'd still go with her, but I know I can't. How could I face Niori in the next world, after willingly leaving the children she died to bring into the world? She would be disgusted. She would never forgive me if I abandoned them to my grief."

Jane could imagine it. A Niori in the afterlife, screaming at Legolas for leaving her children orphans. She would hate him for it, "You'll live and raise your kids, and you won't turn into an ice king while doing it," at least Jane prayed so, because she didn't want to think of Niori's children growing up as unloved as their mother was, "just because our parents act one way doesn't mean we're doomed to act the same way." She knew it was more complicated than that, but this was the time for simple.

Legolas didn't reply, just reached out and ran her fingers across the petals of one of the flowers. Jane wasn't sure if she had even come close to settling any fears, but she kept trying, "And you know what? We won't let you. If you think Erin and I will let you act that way towards Niori's kids, then you've got another thing coming. I will take those kids and raise them myself before I let you hurt them with indifference. Niori's kids will be loved, I promise you that, and if you can't do it yourself, there will be hell to pay when you face her someday. That's what will stop you from closing off. You can't stomach the thought of Niori hating you again." The almost-threats worked better than the comforting words from earlier. Maybe that's what he needed to hear, when everyone only gave him kind platitudes. He needed a bit of harsh reality, and what better way than to remind him of Niori's viciousness?

"I love them," he said after a nod, "I don't dread them. No matter what I do, it will never be because of them. These children...no matter how this ends, they are a gift, even if they bring grief in their wake. I could never hate Niori's children -my children- for it."

"I know," Jane replied, squeezing his hand again. She cared for these children too, if only because of their mom. She prayed she'd never resent them if Niori died, and even if she did, Jane would bury those feelings so deep that those kids would never know they existed. If those twins ever suffered because of her resentment, Niori wouldn't forgive her, and Jane would have to face her someday, too.

"I wish..." Legolas's voice trailed off, and it took him minutes to find it again, "Any child she has I would have loved and raise no matter if I was the father or not, because they would have been Niori's, and I love every part of her. I never thought I'd rather her have another's child, but if it meant her suffering would end... if this is truly my fault..."

Jane winced at another reminder that her brainstorming had made everything worse, "I'm sorry I ever said that out loud. It's a theory that has no basis in reality, I promise. Please pretend I never opened my mouth and stop blaming yourself for this."

"I thought it before I heard you and Carla put it into words. When she described how quickly and abruptly she...our son...how he died, I thought it could be because of our races. Perhaps not for long, but I thought it. Hearing others say it made me believe there could be truth to it," the tone of his voice didn't hide how much self-loathing he felt, and Jane hated herself for making it worse.

"Maybe, or maybe Niori just wasn't built to have kids. Maybe this would happen no mater who the father is. I don't think it matters, because they're yours," she paused, and then ventured softly, "and you know what, I don't even think it would have happened that way anyway."

This was a new theory, one she had developed while she watched Niori and Legolas pick up the remains of their love and stitch it back together, piece by piece. Legolas looked confused, so Jane continued, "Do you know how much sex Niori had in the three years before she met you? Quite frankly, even Niori wouldn't be able to count. Enough that she managed to have two pregnancy scares before you came along. Before we left Middle Earth you had, what, two weeks together? If you look at the odds, what are the chances she'd get pregnant with you? Then the twins. Doctors told her she'd probably never have children, and yet here we are. She's carrying your child again. And I know she went into that camp pregnant, but statistically, it shouldn't have been. Aras raped her more than you'd slept with her at that point. She should have lost those children, after what she went through, but she didn't. It's only ever been you. Despite the odds, you're the only one who fathered her children. It's only you Legolas. I don't mean to sound all mystical, but that sounds like fate to me. I think it means you're meant to be together. And if this is destiny, if the two of you are soul mates, then I can't believe it will end this way. Fate wouldn't go through all this to bring you together, only to tear you apart you now."

Jane had believed in soul mates since she was a little girl. She continued to believe in them even as she grew up and saw how messy love once. She believed in them even more when she came to Middle Earth, where there were historical examples. Elijah was her soul mate, she knew that without a shadow of a doubt. Frodo and Erin were as well, but she had never met two people who were aligned as perfectly as Niori and Legolas. They were the soul mates who would have stories told about them a thousand years later. Jane refused to believe that they would suffer so much just to be separated when it began. Destiny had already shown that it could be cruel, but she didn't think it would be this cruel.

"Do you truly believe that?"

"Yeah, I do. I wouldn't be surprised if the two of you join the pantheon of lovers whose stories are popular in Middle Earth," Jane had noticed that Niori and Legolas's relationship got the most focus, when it came to their legacy from the War of the Ring. One would think it would be Erin, who followed Frodo through Mordor, but she guessed the mortal woman/immortal Elf aspect made Niori and Legolas more appealing to storytellers and songwriters. After all they'd gone through this war, they'd probably be even more popular.

Jane realized that trying to give him hope was restoring some of her own. Only a little, but maybe enough to keep the nightmares away, "She's not going to die," Jane repeated it not only for Legolas's sake, but her own too, "We can't count Niori out yet. All of us are underestimating her, you know. Even she's doing it, but when has Niori ever gone down without a fight?" Jane had to believe that. She needed him to believe it, too.

Legolas looked at her, eyes pleading. Jane met his gaze, eyes more determined than she actually felt. They stared at each other for a long time, before Legolas looked back to his mother's flowers. Before he did, Jane noticed that he was a little different. When she got here, there was only depression there. Now, there was a small spark of hope. It was barely there, but it was still more than before. It was still there, and that was all that mattered. If he felt it again, then so could she.

l.l.l.l

Niori was sure that she was going to die. It was a feeling she'd had before, and she knew how to deal with it. There was only thing that could get her to the finish line, now that getting black out drunk wasn't an option. If she didn't fine something to focus on, if she didn't want to let herself give up before she needed all her strength. Niori knew that she needed to make plans if she wanted to make it there. So here she was, in her room at what almost seemed like a pseudo war council with her chosen pseudo generals, planning out what the game plan for her children after she died giving birth to them.

Like almost every day for the past month, Niori sat in her bed. This time Bella was in her lap, giggling as Niori dangled a mobile in the air above her. She felt peace again, with the child she already loved. If she died, at least Niori had this- a small taste of motherhood she'd never experience with the twins. Mila was sitting on the armchair beside her, needlepoint keeping her hands occupied. Tauriel was standing nearby, close to the wall and in her alert stance. Mila had been sitting with her for most of the day and Tauriel had just arrived, and Niori already had her comments prepared. These were the two women she needed right now.

"I'm probably going to die," she said, and both her friends winced. Mila put down her needlepoint and Tauriel sagged against the wall. Neither of them wanted to hear this out loud, but it was necessary for this conversation, "and I can't let that happen without making sure that they'll be taken care of. It's why you're here. I need your help, if you're okay with it."

Neither of them were surprised exactly, but there was a bit of confusion. Not that she was asking, but because they were there while Jane and Erin, Sil and Arien weren't. Niori got it, because it was strange. But, for all those girls had a part in her children's lives, this wasn't something they could do for them.

Niori answered the question without them having to ask it, "Erin and Jane, Sil and Arien will always be there for the twins. They'll be family, and I'll haunt anyone who tries to keep them away. But the twins need a stronger foundation than they can give them," she would never tell Jane and Erin that, not when it would hurt them, but it was true, "Sil and Arien are too young to have this one their shoulders. As for Erin and Jane, this is something they can't do, for a few reasons."

Both women listened, and Niori addressed Tauriel, "It's Legolas. He'll want to die with me, and I need you to promise me you won't let him do it. Elves don't have to die of their broken hearts. Thranduil didn't," a pause, but she pushed on anyway, "You didn't," there was a brief flash of pain on the Elf's face, and Niori gave her a sympathetic look, "I need you to make sure he doesn't. You're the only one I think can manage it, besides maybe Gimli. I don't care how you do it -torment him if you have to-, but he needs to live. My children won't be orphans because he's too selfish to live without me."

"You have my word," Tauriel promised.

There was more, so Niori went on, "I know. I'd trust you to do it even if I didn't ask. But there's something else too," Niori didn't want to say this out loud, because she felt like a betrayal. She hated that she even had these doubts in her mind, but there they were. She had to deal with it, just in case they were justified, "If Legolas pulls a Thranduil and withdraws emotionally, they can't stay here. I know how much it fucks you up, if you have parents who don't care. I'm still messed up because of how mine treated me. Legolas still has some issues from Thranduil, and that wasn't even close to emotional abuse my parents hit me with. I can't let that happen to my babies. I just can't," Niori focused on Bella again to keep back the tears that stung her eyes. The little girl continued to giggle, "I love Legolas, but I won't let him hurt them, even if it's unintentional. I promise that I don't think he will! I know him and I trust him to be a father with or without me, but..."

"You need to be sure it won't happen," Tauriel finished when Niori choked on her words, "I do not believe he will. Legolas is stronger than the king, and his heart is kinder. He will love his children, whether you are there or not. This is one worry I think it one you don't need to have. But I promise you that I will do what you want of me if he does. What would you have me do?"

"Take them away," Niori whispered, still in disbelief these awful words were coming out of her mouth, "I don't mean kidnap them in the middle of the night and hide them. Just take them from here and bring them somewhere they'll feel love, until Legolas could. Only let him back into their lives when he gets his shit together. Not until he can care for my babies like they deserve. I'm sorry I'm asking you to do this!" this time Niori couldn't stop the tears. Gently, Mila took Bella onto her own lap while Niori fought back the urge to crawl into a ball and sob, "It's not fair, I know! I'm asking you to betray your friend! If you tell me to go to hell, I'll understand. I won't even argue. But you're the only one I trust to actually do it. Everyone else who matters enough to him wouldn't be able to cause him anymore grief. You're the one person I'm sure can look him in the eye, tell him why you're doing it, and then follow through, because it's the right thing to do."

Tauriel was clearly torn at this part of her request. The conflict was all over her face. Finally, a grim expression settled on her face and she nodded without a word, "Where do you want them to go? The Shire?"

"No. This is one of the things Erin and Jane can't do. They're my friends, but they don't really belong in Middle Earth, anymore than I do, and this is the world my kids have to grow up in. They're half-human. Erin and Jane live in the Shire, surrounded by Hobbits. They're the only humans. How can the twins feel at home at Middle Earth when the humans they learn from are the ones from a completely different world? I want them to fit in, as much as they can. Erin and Jane will always be honorary aunts, but they're not the ones that can parent them," Niori looked over to Mila, "this is where you hopefully comes in."

Mila looked shocked, probably because she was asking her over her two remaining best friends. Niori was surprised at herself as well. She thought Erin and Jane would be devastated by her decision, but what could Niori do? Hopefully Legolas wouldn't screw up and it would never come to this. Hopefully she could survive and this conversation could be completely forgotten.

"I know I'm asking a lot with this. I'm basically asking you to foster two kids who aren't even completely human. I know you have to talk to your husband and I completely understand if the two of you say no. If I'm asking for too much, then it's fine. Erin and Jane might not be perfect, but they'll raise my twin and love them without question. My babies will be loved, and that's what matter the most. But, if you will..."

Mila took hold of Niori's hand and squeezed it with a kind smile, "If it comes to it, I'll love your children as my own. Don't fear for them. You have many people who will see them happy and healthy. They will be loved."

"Thank you."

Eventually, Tauriel cleared her throat, "Come now Melon, this has been dark for too long. All of this will be pointless, because you will be here to care for your children. Don't count yourself dead yet."

Niori appreciated the confidence, even if she didn't believe it for a minute. But for all that, a sense of relief settled in Niori's heart. She knew her children had people who would make sure they were okay. If she was going to die in the next couple of months, at least she could be at peace now.

"You're right," the cheer she put in her voice wasn't completely forced, "no more doom and gloom," she looked to Mila again, and held out her arms, "now please give me your child back so I can continue playing with her."

l.l.l.l

Niori's version of bed rest didn't include laying in bed a hundred percent of the time. No matter how sick she got, Niori refused to stay in bed all day. She insisted that she at least take a short walk once a day.

"I am not letting myself get bed sores," she told them all point blank, "besides, not using my muscles will make them even weaker. I need all the strength I can get."

Niori was just as stubborn as ever, no matter how horrible she felt. She did agree not go out by herself, though she wanted to. God knew she was so sick of everyone smothering her...but she did understand why it was needed.

On this particular afternoon, it was Arien who had her arm around Niori's waist as they walked through a garden. Well, Arien walked while Niori shuffled, much to Niori's displeasure. "It's not enough that I look like a walking skeleton with a bloated stomach," she complained, "but I walk like a stupid penguin too! It's not freaking fair!"

Arien wasn't sure how to reassure her, so she just made a sympathetic sound. Maybe, had she known what a penguin was, she would have been able to say more.

"Why did I do this again?" It was meant to be rhetorical, but Arien answered her anyway.

"Because your first chance at motherhood was taken from you," she said softly.

Niori grew quiet after that, and a look of mourning crossed her face. Seeing it, Arien wished she hadn't spoken at all.

"But will it be any different this time?" When Niori spoke again, her voice reflected the mourning that had been on her face. She looked at Arien, and the girl was taken back by the helplessness there, "I don't think I'm going to live through this Arien."

It scared Arien, Niori saying things like that. She didn't know how to handle it, and a part of Arien wished Niori hadn't chosen her to confide in. She would never admit to that, and instead said, "You'll live. You survive Niori...that's just what you do."

Niori snorted, "A survivor, right. How did my reputation somehow go from tramp to survivor in a year? How the hell is this my life?"

Arien had no answer to that again, so she stayed silent. There were things she could say, but none of them were right for now. They walked in silence a little while longer, until Niori took an unsteady step. She made a sound a cross between a moan and a gasped breath. Startled, Arien steadied her as best she could.

"What's wrong!" Arien practically shouted, frantic with worry.

"Just dizzy," Niori sounded breathless, "I think I should sit down."

As fast as she could, Arien guided a still unsteady Niori to the nearest bench. She sat her down, and realized Niori looked paler than normal. It made her worry even more.

"Sit here," Arien told her, "I'll return with something to drink."

It was obvious that Niori hated all of this -hated being this helpless-, but her smile and "Thank you Arien" were genuine all the same.

Arien hurried to the nearest water basin. She nodded to the guards who were stationed out of sight, yet within hearing range. Legolas ordered them to stay near Niori in case anything went wrong. Niori had been enraged at first, and there had been a screaming match. Legolas refused to be budged, though he had compromised. They would stay out of Niori's sight unless there was some emergency. With them not there, Niori could pretend that they didn't exist.

Arien agreed with Legolas that it was necessary, but she understood why Niori hated it. It made her feel as though she was under guard, and that reminded her of being under guard as a prisoner of war and a suspected traitor. Those were not memories she wanted to think about.

Arien filled both a jug and glass of water and hurried back to Niori. When she realized that Niori was not sitting on the bench, Arien stopped short. She looked around wildly, trying to find her friend. Niori hadn't gotten far, no more than a few steps away, towards the exit that would lead in the direction of her room.

"Niori?"

Niori turned, her eyes looking vaguely at Arien. The skin of her face was even paler, and she swayed lightly on her feet. Arien took a step forward, concerned by the dazed look on Niori's face and the unsteady movements of her body. Before Arien reached her, Niori's eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed. Arien dropped everything and tried to catch her, but she wasn't fast enough. Niori's body crashed to the ground with a thud that send fear through Arien. She fell to her knees at Niori's side. She rolled Niori from her side to her back, checking for any injuries. She didn't see any. Only then she let herself feel some relief.

"Niori! Wake up!"

As though answering her voice, Niori's eyes fluttered open. She wasn't completely conscious again when she cried out. Alarmed, Arien looked over her again. She still saw no injuries...but when she noticed the wetness that was beginning to seep through Niori's pants, she understood what was happening. Her eyes widened, and terror seized her.

"HELP!" She screamed, unwilling to leave Niori's side to go for it. The two guards came running, and didn't stop when they saw the two of them on the ground.

"I believe her labour's begun!" Arien told them, and the panic was in her voice.

Without pause, one of them scooped Niori into his arms. She was awake now, but still not completely coherent. The guard who held her sprinted away, while the other turned to Arien.

"We're taking her to the healers," he told her, "find the Prince," then he was gone as well.

Arien did as she was told. She ran through the halls, desperately searching for Legolas. When she found him, she had no tact in telling him what had happened. "She's in labour!" She screamed, half hysteric.

The colour drained from Legolas's face, and he looked at her in utter shock. Dread came next, followed by panic. By then. he had dropped the conversation he was having and was coming towards her.

"She fainted!" This time, there was no disguising the hysteria in her voice, "They took her to the healers!"

Without a word, Legolas ran past her. Arien made to follow him, but then realized she couldn't. the others...they all needed to know too. Barely holding herself together, Arien ran to find them.

l.l.l.l

He had never seen Niori in so much pain.

Legolas had seen her near death more times than he wished to recall, had seen her broken and bruised, but none of it compared to this. It had been over a day, and there was still no change. No babies had come, and her labour continued, growing worse by the hour. They had given her something to dull the pain, but it hadn't worked. It was her begging that was the worst. She kept pleading for it to just stop, for it to be over. Legolas had never heard her beg before, and it informed him just how bad it was for her to be doing it now.

He had stubbornly forced himself to block out the truth before (at least, as much as he could), had held out hope even after all others began to look at Niori as a dead woman walking. Legolas couldn't deny it, not anymore. The love of his life was dying in front of him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

She squeezed his hand every time she screamed, and he was honestly surprised she hadn't broken it. He wasn't supposed to be seeing this. In his world, the birthing room was not the place for men, unless they were healers. In Niori's, it was customary for the father of the children to be there at their birth. It was customary for him to be there to support the mother, and Niori had told him he would very much regret it if he tried to get out of it. He believed her. Yet, even if she hadn't threatened him, Legolas would have been at her side. With all that had happened to her these past few months, he knew this could kill her. He was terrified that this would kill her. If that were to happen, he would be at her side. First, he would be there to tell her to keep fighting, and if this was a battle she couldn't win, he'd be there so she would die with someone she loved at her side. He prayed with everything he had that it wouldn't come to that, but watching her now...

The midwife was getting desperate, doing everything she could to force the labour to go on, for the seemingly endless contractions to finish and the babies to be born. In her world, it was apparently simple to cut them out. Niori had asked about the possibility here, but it was not so simple. The healing wasn't as advanced as it was in her world and time, not even among his people. It was only used here as a last resort, a way to save the child if the mother was already beyond saving. When he told her that, he had watched the last bit of hope die in her eyes.

Two days later, she had gone into a seemingly endless labour. And every single fear they had had was coming true.

"Legolas," she cried again, "please...please make this end!"

If Niori wasn't out of her mind with pain, he knew she wouldn't be asking of him such an impossible task. She would know there was no way for him to stop it, but right now she was just looking for the person she loved to make her pain end. There was nothing he could do. He was completely useless- he couldn't even offer words of comfort that wouldn't ring hollow. He hated how helpless he was.

"I see the child!" The midwife's sudden words startled Legolas. Then, the words she spoke became clear to him, and his eyes flew to her. She saw his wide eyed look, and responded, "The child, I see its head. They are finally coming!"

Legolas was both relived and horrified at once. The end was near, for better or for worse. No matter how it all ended, it was almost over.

"They're coming," he told his lover, "you only need to do this a little bit longer." Niori gave no sign that she heard him. Instead, she screamed again.

Just as suddenly as she spoke, the midwife made a sound of alarm. Legolas looked to her again, and terror seized him as he saw the look on her face. It was a mix of dread and desperation. It was the look of a healer who knew that their patient had taken a turn for the worst. It was the look of a midwife who knew she was going to have to fight to save her charge.

"What's wrong!" Legolas demanded desperately.

She didn't answer him, instead frantically moved. Legolas, just as frantically, stood to see what was wrong. All he saw was blood, and it made him dizzy. There was too much of it, and seeing it almost made him sick. He staggered back from it. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't be dying. "No..."

The midwife looked up at him sharply, and saw his pale, shell shocked face. Her eyes narrowed, "You need to leave!"

Despite it all, Legolas was horrified by the idea, "I cannot leave her!"

There was sympathy on her face now, brief as it was, "There is still a possibility I can save her, but I cannot do that if you're here, My Prince. If it's clear I can't, if she's beyond hope, I will call you back to be with her." Legolas was frozen, unable to do as he was told. He knew she was right, but if Niori were to die and he was not with her, he'd never be able to live with himself. "Go!" She commanded him again.

Finally, Legolas listened. First, he dropped to Niori's side once again, taking her hand and squeezing it, "You need to live," he told, he begged, her, "I cannot live without you. Our children need you as their mother. Your friends can't lose you as they lost Carla. The princesses still need you to guide them. You cannot leave us!"

Niori was barely conscious, and dazed on top of that. He didn't think she was aware enough to understand what he said, but he still believed she would hear it. She would hear what he said and fight for them all. She would do all that she could to come back to them. Niori was a survivor, and he could only believe she would do it again.

"I love you," he told her, and then tore himself away from her side. He left the room, turning back once. She looked like death, and a bloody one. He prayed this wouldn't be the last glimpse he would have of her.

l.l.l.l

Everything was so fuzzy…

Why was everything so damn fuzzy?

And where was Legolas? He was here…but where did he go?

Her thoughts were all mangled, probably thrown off by the pain she had been experiencing for far too long. Everything was blending together, even her screams and the words of the midwife, who was the only person left in the room with her. Where was everyone? The girls had been here for a little while, and Legolas had been here the whole time? So where had he gone? Why had he left her?

"Legolas…" she murmured his name.

She knew that the midwife replied because she did hear words…she just couldn't make real sense of them. Why did she feel as though she was falling? Feel like she was fading?

She felt someone take hold of her hand and she turned to look over, expecting to see that Legolas was back at her side.

Wait…hadn't they made him leave? Made them all leave? She remembered that…

Her next scream of sheer pain was mingled with surprise. Carla was sitting at her side, holding her hand tightly. Through her haze of pain Niori could tell that the other girl was as solid as she was.

"Wha-" she began to ask, but was cut off when another contraction twisted her insides and she screamed again.

"You're almost there," she managed to hear the midwife encourage her, "one of them will be here soon."

Why did she sound so far away?

No more, she wanted to moan but the words wouldn't form. Why was it so damn hard to think…

"Blood loss," Carla's voice whispered to her softly, "lots of it…but you can do this Niori."

Why did Carla sound so much closer that the midwife? Why were her continuous screams seeming to fade away from her hearing?

"Here one comes," a faraway voice told her, "push!"

Niori managed to do as she was told, and a long moment later new screams broke through the air…and they weren't hers this time.

"Good job Niori," Carla told her, and Niori thought she might have smiled down at her, "you're almost done."

Christ, she had to do it again didn't she? "I don't wanna…" Niori murmured. Her head was spinning and her mind was beginning to become veiled with fog.

What was happening? Why was everything so far away?

"Okay Niori," Carla coached her, "time to push again. You can do this."

Niori did as she was told…but she didn't know if she was actually doing it. Everything was going numb with pain. She knew she was still crying out, but she could barely make the sound anymore. She could barely think, and she had the vague idea that this was a very bad thing.

Then, in a striking moment of fleeting clarity, Niori came to an abrupt realization.

Oh fuck. If Carla was here…"I'm dead. I'm fucking dead."

"Not entirely," Carla assured her, "but you are dying," she paused, "and now you're officially the mother of twins."

She heard infants' cries in the distance, and tears gathered in the corner of her eyes.

"I don't wanna die…" she whispered.

Someone was saying her name. Maybe even frantically.

"You don't have to," Carla told her, "you just have to fight it! So fight Niori!"

"But I'm so tired…" Niori managed to get that one sentence out before she fell into darkness.

l.l.l.l

Out of all the things Carla expected Niori to do when she told her that her twins were born, passing out was at the bottom of the list. She had figured Niori would fight to stay conscious so she could meet her children, not give into it. Not that she could blame her. Carla had watched over her cousin for the past eight months and knew how hard it had been. If it had been her, she would have wanted to pass out too. After watching Niori go through all this, Carla was glad she had died before she had ever become pregnant. In her opinion, it didn't look like that pleasant of an experience. But then again, if Niori pulled through this, she'd probably say that all this suffering was worth it. Though with the amount her cousin bitched, complaining would be inevitable. At the moment, the whole pulling through part was a big if.

Carla was here to make sure that happened. The fact that Niori was unconscious actually made her job easier. Getting into her cousin's mind was a lot easier than maintaining an outside presence. She could do it, but it was easier for her this way. Too bad it was more dangerous for Niori. The longer Niori stayed unconscious, the harder it would be to wake her up. So that was Carla's first order of business. Carla looked down to where the midwife was frantically trying to stop the blood flow, and winced. If that wasn't stopped soon, it wouldn't be possible for Niori to wake up at all.

She closed her eyes and concentrated, and next thing she knew, she was standing on a beach. She looked around, trying to spot her cousin. Her eyes found Niori down the beach, standing knee deep in the waves. Her cousin was wearing jeans and a tank top, and the outfit made Carla realize that, whatever place Niori's mind had conjured, it was one back from her world, not Middle Earth. That surprised Carla. She would have assumed that Niori's Happy Place (for lack of a better term) would have been a place in Middle Earth. It's not like their world held many happy memories for her.

"Niori?" She called out.

Niori didn't turn, showed no sign that she had even heard Carla. She tried saying her name again, but Niori still didn't respond. With a sigh, Carla stepped into the water. The water was freezing, and the feeling made her stumble out with a curse. It had been almost a year since she had felt the physical sensation of cold, and it was a shock her system.

Cold water, dark sky with lightning streaking across it, thunder in the distance, and back in their world. Niori was the strangest person ever.

Carla grit her teeth and walked back into the water. She had to get her cousin's attention, and the only way to do that was to go and stand next to her, cold water or not. When she came to Niori, she stopped. Demanding that Niori pay attention to her would have been the quickest plan of action, but Carla couldn't help but curiously ask, "Why are we here?"

Without acknowledging that Carla was even there, Niori said one word, "Escape."

Carla paused to think about it, and remembered a number of times that Niori had referred to the real version of this place as an escape from reality. Carla came to the conclusion that her cousin was one messed up woman.

"Why is it that you need to escape?" Carla asked.

She felt that it was a perfectly legitimate question. Back in the real world, Niori had something that she had been dreaming about since losing her first child, so why was she in her escape place? The fact that Niori had passed out was obvious, given the blood loss, but it was the fact that her subconscious had chosen this place, was the strange part.

A look of confusion flitted over Niori's face. Her brow furrowed in concentration. When she spoke, her words were slow and unsure, "There…there was pain…it hurt…so much…"

"But why here?" Carla pressed. Right now, Niori was still far away. The only way Carla was going to wake up was if she admitted why she was here…and she had to come to soon or she'd be lost. Niori had too much to live for to give up now.

"It's where I come," Niori sounded more sure of herself now, "When it hurts too much…When I can't stand the pain anymore."

"Why are you in pain?"

Niori had to concentrate again, but the moment she remembered was obvious. Her eyes went comically wide and she gasped, "The babies!" All the numbness and detachment was gone. Niori whirled around to face Carla to face Carla, panic in her eyes. "Are they okay! God, please tell me they're okay!" horror shot across Niori's face, "I'm dead, aren't I?"

"No!" Carla assured her quickly, "They're fine and you're not dead. Believe me, the afterlife does not look like your beach here, especially with the lightning storm you've got going on. But you're dying Niori. The birth was…hard."

"Is that why you're here?" There were tears in Niori's eyes, despite the sarcasm in her voice, "To be my spirit guide to help me cross over?"

Carla scoffed as she rolled her eyes, "Hardly. I'm here, as usual, to tell you get your ass in gear," Niori looked absolutely affronted, "don't give me that look. If I wasn't here, you'd still be staring at the horizon, and don't try to deny it."

"Fine then Obi Wan," the snark was forefront, even before the worry. Good, that was what Niori would need to win this- fire, "What must I do?"

"The thing you do best, cousin dearest- fight."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

Carla just grinned, and without warning, her fist shot out and caught Niori on the cheek. The other girl yelped, falling backwards. She hit the water and went under. She came back up a moment later, sputtering in outrage when she broke the surface.

"What the fuck!" She screamed.

Carla just laughed, and that enraged Niori. With what could only be described as a roar, Niori threw herself at Carla. She caught her around the legs, sending them both toppling back into the freezing water. The water stunned Carla for a moment, but Niori's fist impacting with her nose shook her out of it. The punch was weak by Niori's usual standards, so weak that Carla realized just how close to the brink Niori was.

When Niori pulled back her arm for another punch, Carla grabbed it and flipped her cousin off to the side. When Niori made a grab for her, she used her leg to sweep her legs out from under her. Niori went down again, and Carla used the opportunity to get up and made a dash for the shore. She was sick of the Girls Gone Wild water wrestling. She just reached land when Niori caught up with her.

A hand looped itself into her hair and yanked, pulling her backwards. The she was in that God damned water again, with a fuming Niori standing over her.

"Jesus Christ Niori! Hair pulling? When did you become so prissy?"

"You punched me in the fucking face!"

"Is that all you do anymore, whine? God, hair pulling and bitching. You've gone soft!"

Niori's mouth fell open in shock, "Why you-"

She was cut off when Carla surged upwards, grabbed her waist and tossed her to the ground. On the sand this time, finally allowing her to get out of the water.

"I am going to kill you!" Niori screamed, causing Carla to smirk.

"Already dead, remember?"

That reminder seemed to piss Niori off more than the violence and insults had. Her eyes narrowed and she kicked out, her heel connecting with Carla's left knee. Carla's leg gave out from under her and she crumpled to the ground. Had she had a physical body, the blow probably would have broken her knee cap. Instead of angering her, it made Carla grin. Niori was getting stronger.

When Niori went to punch again, Carla caught her fist before it could make contact. She twisted her arm, making Niori call out and fall to her knees. From there, Carla pushed Niori onto her back, leapt up, and tried to get out of her reach. It didn't quite work, because Niori kicked her in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her and causing her to stumble back a few steps. From her position on the ground, Niori gave a sudden gasp. Then, the other girl blinked out of existence. When she reappeared a few moments later, the first thing she saw was a beaming Carla.

"Wha…what?" Niori felt dizzy and slightly nauseous, but most of all she was feeling very confused.

"That's you living," Carla exclaimed, the relief and excitement clear in her voice and on her face, "you disappeared from here because you regained consciousness. It was only a few seconds, but it means you're going to survive. You fought like hell Niori, and won. You're going to live Niori."

"What? You punched me to get me to fight? Damnit Carla, you could have just said something! You didn't have to blitz me!"

"Yes I did. You needed to be pissed and fighting as hard as you could, without thinking about it. If you did, you would have pulled your punches, and would have died." Niori grumbled something she couldn't quite make out, and Carla rolled her eyes, "You did hear the part about being alive right? You know, that thing that means you're going to live to watch your son and daughter grow up?"

"Why aren't I awake? You said I was conscious for a second." There was now a smile on Niori's face, and Carla was happy to see it.

"It's going to be awhile before you wake up for real. A few days at least. The blood loss was pretty bad."

"What…what do I do until then?" Niori sounded scared, and Carla didn't blame her.

"Stay here until you're ready to wake up."

Niori reached out and grabbed her cousin's hand in a death grip, "Don't leave. Please don't leave me. Not yet."

Carla smiled, "Don't worry. I'm here until you wake up." Then Carla sat down next to her, and began to talk.

She spoke about things no other living being knew, telling Niori about what comes after death. She explained that, while not exactly paradise, she was happy there, and loved. She told Niori that so many people over there had been worried about her. She passed on messages, and watched as tears welled in Niori's eyes when she told her how grateful Aragorn was for all Niori had done for his son and daughters. She described how their lives would have gone, had the Fellowship not fallen out of Carla's closet, and nodded when Niori said that it was much better that they had. She even told her how, back in their world, it was believed that they had died in a car crash, and how it was believed that their bodies had been incinerated. When Niori asked if her family had even cared, Carla almost lied. In the end, she told the truth, and listened to her cousin's bitter curses. She told her about that final battle, and explained why she had chosen to die. She told someone living, for the first time, about the being that had visited her in her dreams and given her the answer to how to save their world. She said how much she missed them all.

After Carla finally fell silent, Niori took up the conversation. She talked about the loneliness of being the only human in Mirkwood, and how even more out of place she felt because she wasn't even from Middle Earth. She confessed to the nights that she silently cried herself to sleep because she was so homesick for the other girls. She spoke about how she missed Carla so much it hurt. She talked about how it was only the twins that had stopped her from drinking, but she didn't know how she would stop herself now that they were out of her body. She confessed about the times that she still woke up screaming because of nightmares. She described how it felt to have all your hopes and dreams slip away because the pregnancy made her weaker and weaker, and the absolute joy she now felt because they were still possible. She said that she was sure she was going to be a good mother, but the idea of becoming a wife made her nervous. She told her about how Legolas's love had helped heal her, but it scared her sometimes, the intensity of that love, because being loved was still a novelty to her. She said that she loved him just as much, and though she had accepted it a long time ago, she was scared about that too, because she knew how much it hurt if it went wrong. She knew how, in the end, they would be separated after all, and how she sometimes had to convince herself that it would be different. Then she said it didn't matter, because they were going to be happy, even if it wouldn't last forever, and pity anyone who tried to get in the way of that.

They sat on that beach and talked. Time passed differently here, but Carla felt the outside time passing, and knew as the days went by. Every once and awhile, Niori would disappear again. As those times grew more frequent and longer, Carla knew that their time was almost up. Niori knew it too, and Carla knew that she felt conflicted. She wanted to wake up more than anything, but the idea of losing Carla all over was heartbreaking. There was a desperate look in Niori's eyes every time she blinked out.

A gasp once again signalled that Niori was waking up, this time for good. She fought it, refusing to just disappear without being able to say goodbye. "Carla-"

"Go on Niori," Carla told her with a soft smile, "Everybody's waiting."

Tears stung Niori's eyes, and Carla leaned over and kissed her forehead, "I love you Niori, and give my love to the others. Now go, you have to get started on those hopes and dreams."

"Goodbye," Niori whispered, and then she was gone.

Carla sat there for a long time after she was gone. Lingering in Niori's subconscious probably wasn't an ethical thing to do now that she was awake, but Carla doubted her cousin would mind. Carla hadn't cried since she had died, but now tears were slipping down her cheeks. It hurt, knowing that it would be a long time until she saw Niori again. She was glad that Niori was going to have a happy, long life, but the fact that she wasn't going to be part of it caused her as much pain as it did Niori. She hurt even more because she couldn't be there for any of their lives.

It wasn't forever. Carla couldn't wish them with her, not if that meant their death. Someday, but not today. It was time for her to go home to those who were already there. Niori wasn't the only one who got to be happy. Carla wiped the tears off her cheeks, whispered two words and then withdrew from the other girl's mind. "Later Niori."

l.l.l.l

Niori slowly opened her eyes, feeling drowsy and disorientated. Her mind was hazy and when she tried to concentrate on what was going on, the thoughts wouldn't come to her. For a reason she didn't know or couldn't remember, she was relieved. Not only that, but real happiness was blossoming in her chest. Why did she feel this way?

She let her eyes rove over her room, and they came to rest on the person in there with her. Legolas was sitting on a chair beside her bed, his arms resting on the mattress and his head in turn buried in his arms. He was asleep. Then she remembered.

She wasn't dead. She probably should have been, but she wasn't. She had gotten through the birth and survived.

How long have I been out? Niori wondered.

She could vaguely remember drifting in and out of blackness, but those moments were little more than brief flashes, over before she really knew what was happening. Niori had been on the edge, and that was what she remembered most. Carla being there and telling her to keep fighting.

Niori reached out her shaking hand and ran it across the top of Legolas's head and then down his hair. He jerked at her touch, and then looked up from his arms. His eyes were red rimmed and blurry, and even though he was looking at her he wasn't focusing or really seeing her.

"Hi," she whispered, her voice cracked and hoarse.

He just looked at her, almost unbelievably. "You're awake," he finally stated the obvious.

"Yep."

She tried to smile, but she was still too tired to make her body do what her mind was telling it. Not only that, but she still felt so weak.

Legolas sat up and took hold of the hand she had touched him with. "You're awake," he repeated, and now there were tears spreading in his eyes.

"Help me sit up," she asked him, knowing she wouldn't be able to do it herself.

Even through his disbelief he helped her, and when she was upright, he wrapped his arms around her and just held her.

"I love you so much," he whispered to her, and from the tone of his voice Niori knew he was crying, "when I thought…"

"I know," Niori replied, leaning her head into his shoulder, "and I love you." She never wanted him to let her go, but there was something she had to know. "The babies?"

"They're fine," Legolas's voice grew particularly soft, "perfect actually."

This time Niori did manage a smile, even if it was brief. "Where are they?" she asked. She wanted to see them, wanted to hold them. She had been so sure she would never have the chance. She had been so sure she would die without being able to do any of that.

"With my father," Legolas replied, "He's quite taken with them. Everyone is."

"Of course they are," Niori leaned closer into him, "they come from me remember?"

"Now I know you'll be fine," Legolas laughed.

"Can I see them?"

Legolas pulled away from her, and then looked at her. She could see that, as much as he wanted to show her their children, he didn't want to leave her, was scared to leave her.

"I promise that I'll not only be alive, but awake when you get back. Please Legolas."

He leaned over and kissed her forehead and then got to his feet. He started towards the door, and then a question popped into Niori's mind. "Legolas? What does it feel like?" Legolas looked back at her in confusion, "Being a parent…what does it feel like?"

He smiled at her "It is the most amazing feeling in the world. In five minutes you'll understand completely."

Every minute he was gone felt like an eternity to her. What was taking him so long? She wanted to see her children. Impatiently so. Seven long minutes later, Legolas used his shoulder to open the door because his arms were occupied. They were holding two bundles covered in soft yellow blankets. All she could do was listen to her heart pounding in her chest as he walked towards her.

"Niori," Legolas spoke softly as he took a seat on the bed, "meet our son and daughter."

She looked at the babies –her babies- in his arms, and her breath caught. They were perfect.

They were both sleeping, looking peaceful. Both of them had chubby, soft looking cheeks and little wisps of hair that were so blonde it looked white. Most of all, they looked absolutely healthy. Niori feared they wouldn't be. She had been so unhealthy during the last stage of her pregnancy, and she had been terrified it would effect them.

"They're beautiful," she whispered in wonder. She understood what Legolas had meant about being a parent being the most amazing feeling in the world…and it was.

Her awe hadn't worn off, but she found herself asking questions that a mother would. "There's no side effects?" she pressed, because just because they looked healthy didn't mean they were, "my trouble didn't do anything to them," she lowered her voice, feeling ashamed as she continued, "my…drinking before hasn't hurt them…" That terrified her. If there was something wrong with them because she had gone off the deep end and used drinking as a way to escape, Niori would never forgive herself.

"They're fit and healthy Niori," he assured her, "nothing that you've done and none of the mistakes you've made have hurt them."

Niori nodded in relief.

"What did you name them?" she finally asked, changing the topic.

"I didn't."

"What?" Niori asked in confusion.

"We had a deal remember? You choose the boy's name," his voice lowered, "so I couldn't name him. Naming him would have been accepting that you weren't going to be here to do it yourself."

"Why not the girl then? Her name is all yours."

"Because I felt I had to ask you this first," he paused for a moment, "do you wish to call her Carla?"

Niori sucked in a breath. She hadn't seen that one coming, though everyone else probably expected it of her. Carla had been her cousin and best friend…

"No," she replied after a long silence, "I…no. Maybe if they had come a few years from now, but right now it still hurts so much…especially when I just lost her all over again," Legolas looked confused, "I'll tell you later."

Niori just hoped Carla wouldn't be offended.

"I thought that that would be your answer, but I felt that I had to make sure," he smiled a little, "but I did have a back up name."

"Well let's hear it!"

"Amowiel."

"Amowiel…" Niori repeated and looked at her daughter, "your mom's name. I didn't think Elves did that."

"They don't, but Elves also don't tend to take humans as lovers and have children together before they are even married. I'm long since being worried about breaking tradition."

"It's perfect for her," Niori assured him.

"And I know you've had a name picked out for him," Legolas nodded at the other child, "for months now, even though you kept saying you didn't."

"You're right," she replied with a weak laugh, "I did. Dominic. I've always loved that name."

Legolas thought about it for a moment and then smiled.

"Amowiel and Dominic…our twins."

Niori felt tears of joy fill her eyes. Women had always told her that you forget the pain the minute you see your baby, and she now knew that part was a lie (she wasn't going to be forgetting the last three months of hell anytime soon), but the part she knew was true was the part where they said it was all worth it. It was more than worth it.

"I wish I could hold them," she said mournfully, "but I'm so weak…I'd drop them."

"Then I'll help you with that. Can you move forward?"

"Yes…"

Legolas came to sit right next to her and gently put the babies in her waiting arms. They felt so heavy and she felt her arms giving way. Legolas moved so that he was sitting behind her and then wrapped his arms around her from behind. He positioned his strong arms under hers to support them.

"Oh my God…" she whispered. They felt so right in her arms.

"I'm glad you caught them while they slept," Legolas told her, "they're a bit feisty when awake, and you look ready to pass out again."

Niori nodded, knowing that no matter how excited she was, she was still going to fall asleep soon. She wouldn't be able to help it.

"When it comes to sleeping," he continued, "they're absolutely terrible. They apparently don't need much of it, and they seem to be on different schedules. You get one asleep and the other one wakes up. Poor Mila has run herself ragged caring for them. She took over, knowing that I needed to be at your side. The others helped, but she stepped in for them without a pause," Niori would shower Mila with praise and gratitude later, for keeping the promise she made, "Right now seems to be a miracle. I think they decided to give their mother a break. But after this, prepare yourself for many sleepless nights."

It took Niori a minute to realize that when Legolas said 'their mother' he was talking about her. Then she looked down at the sleeping children and couldn't imagine them being anything but peaceful. But then again, they had come from her.

"And they certainly let you know when they they're displeased. I'm of the opinion that their lungs are the strongest part of their body. They seem to get that from you."

"Oh shut up Legolas."

"Being like you is a good thing," he whispered in her ear.

"Anything else I should know?"

Niori didn't want to admit it, but she was jealous; Legolas knew their children. He had already had two weeks with them.

"Not that I can think of," his voice grew softer, "and from now on we get to learn about them together."

Niori thought about the abstract fears she had thought of when Carla had been with her. How could she have ever doubted Legolas even for a second?

"I'm an idiot," she whispered to herself ruefully.

"What?"

"When I was…dying," there was no way she could put it that didn't make him wince, "I kept worrying about you…and them."

"What do you mean?"

"Back home," she explained, "there was a girl I knew. Her mom died giving birth to her, and her dad never really forgave her for it. I mean he didn't abuse her or anything, but you could see that he treated her differently than her older sisters. It was like he saw her as the reason he lost his wife, and he just couldn't get over it. I know how much you love me, so I couldn't help but worry…"

"Even if I had lost you, any resentment I could have felt would have disappeared the moment I first laid eyes upon them. Nothing could make me love them any less."

"That's why I called myself an idiot," by the time Niori finished the sentence she was yawning. The fatigue was really beginning to hit her hard again. She wasn't going to be able to keep her eyes open for much longer.

"Do you want me to find the others?" Legolas asked her, "they'll want to know. The only reason Jane and Erin aren't here now is because their husbands finally put their feet down and said that they had to sleep, and eat for that matter. Arien and Silmarwen have been out from exhaustion, the last time I checked. Mila is tending to her own family, but she told me to tell her the moment you woke up."

She had been wondering where they all were. Though Niori was glad they were at least doing normal things, which she doubted Legolas had done. "Please tell me you've been doing the same."

"I did eat and sleep…I just did it here. The only time I left your side was when the twins needed me."

"Legolas!" Niori scolded, "you have got to stop doing that whenever I'm on a death bed! Seriously!"

"Do you wish me to inform the others?" he asked again, veering away from the topic that might cause her irritation.

"Not yet," Niori said after a moment, "right now I just want us…"

Legolas didn't say anything and Niori felt the need to explain.

"You don't know what it's like Legolas," she told him softly, "to not have a family. You had your brother and your dad, and your mom when she was alive and a sister before she went across the sea…but most of all, you have love from them, even when it wasn't obvious. I had relatives, not family…blood relations and that's it. There was no love. God knows I've always wanted one. I mean Carla, Erin, and Jane, and then Sil and Arien, are the closest thing I've ever had, and as much as I love them all, it's not the same. But right now, at this very moment with just the four of us, I finally have one. Not only do I have a family, but I have my own family."

Tears were beginning in her eyes. No matter what he could never understand how important this was to her. Only someone who came from a dysfunctional family could really get it. The only thing she had wanted all her life was the love that was supposed to come with family. She had found love in other places with her friends and Legolas, but up until now, the family love had still eluded her.

"I'll let them know once you've fallen asleep again," Legolas told her, "that way they all will be here when you wake up again." Falling asleep was happening very fast.

"I love you Legolas," she whispered as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against his chest, "I love you Amowiel and Dominic."

As if answering her words, one of the babies began to stir in her arms and two seconds later the other one did. Niori tried to bring herself back awake but it wasn't going to work.

"Sleep Niori," Legolas whispered to her, "all three of us will be here when you wake up. As will the others who love you."

So Niori did.

l.l.l.

Jane had been crying endlessly and Erin was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. They both knew that the longer a person was in a coma, the less chance of them waking up at all. Or even if they did, there would probably be some sort of brain damage. It had already been so long. They had to wait. Wait for Niori to live or die.

The two of them were sitting in a garden, the one where Jane had tried to give Legolas comfort. They would have waited together anywhere, but this was the place they had wordlessly decided on. After Niori just hadn't woken up and Jane couldn't stand to watch her still form any longer, she had taken Erin's hand and brought her here. Eventually Silmarwen and Arien joined them when they needed a break, and when they couldn't get their hands on the babies to distract themselves. Legolas didn't mind, but he never joined them- he never tired of being at Niori's side and only left to care for his children. They all sat here when they weren't sitting beside Niori or sleeping, day after day, hour after hour. The only one of them that did anything was Silmarwen, who read through every bit of information about Niori's condition as she could, even if she knew she could do nothing with it. As far as Erin could tell, it was a case of misery loves company.

It was Arien who noticed Legolas come in, and she was the first to see his serene smile. Legolas would only be smiling for one reason, and it caused her to jump up in excitement, "She's awake!"

"She woke up," he confirmed, and there was peace in his voice. It was a tone they hadn't heard from him in a long time, "We spoke and she met the children and then she fell back asleep."

"That's normal," Silmarwen managed to say through her shocked, on autopilot as she processed the news, "She'll be drowsy until she recovers her strength."

"She's not awake?" Erin asked in disappointment. She needed to see Niori with her eyes open, to confirm this was real.

"You can still go see her," Legolas told them, that smile still on his face, "I told her you'd be there when she woke up."

Erin needed no further prompting. She grabbed Jane's hand and pulled her to her feet, "Come on. We need to find Frodo and Elijah."

Frodo was in their room, and his entire face lit up when he heard the news. Elijah took longer to find, because he had gone to the kitchen in the vain attempt to find something to make Jane sit down and eat a full meal. He whooped when he found out Niori had woken up. The four of them made their way to Niori's room forty-five minutes after they found out. When they got there, they were not the only ones. Legolas was laying beside her, stretched out with an arm around her. Arien and Silmarwen were both sitting at the foot of the bed, feet curled under them. Arien had one of the squirming and mewling twins in her arms. Tauriel was standing beside Legolas's side of the bed, one hand on his shoulder and a sleeping Bella resting on her hip. Mila was in a comfortable chair beside Niori, nursing one of the babies. The most shocking part was that Niori herself was awake again, sitting up in bed.

Erin and the rest walked in just in time to hear Mila's fond voice say, "Oh Niori, didn't you think I'd fall as much in love with your babies as you did mine?"

Niori made a choked sound before throwing her arms around Mila, awkward angle be damned, careful not to press on the baby at her breast. Erin saw Niori's lips move, saying something too low for her to make out.

"Niori?" Jane's voice was already filled with emotion and tears.

Niori pulled away from Mila to look at them. She still looked tired and gaunt, but she was no longer deathly pale or sick looking. She was not good, but she was better. She smiled when she saw them, "Looks like the gang's all here."

With the spell broken, Jane and Erin rushed the space. Arien and Silmarwen moved to give them the space. Jane sat, but Erin took it further than that- she practically crawled up Niori's body, straddling her legs and grabbing both sides of her face to make Niori look at her. If she wasn't in such a blind panic, should would have been mortified in the position she put them in.

"Never again," Erin was crying, "you can't do this to us again."

Niori reached up and grasped one of the hands holding her face, "Don't worry about it. The healer told me there was too much damage," if Niori had any strong emotions about that one way or another, she didn't show it.

Erin had meant not dying, not having no more children, "Fuck. I'm sorry Niori."

"Hey, it's okay. After this, two is enough. And hey, no more worrying about birth control ever again. Huzzah," it made Erin laugh, not because it was funny, but because it was so Niori, "Also, while I admit I'm normally into this kind of position, you're kind of making my legs go numb Erin."

Erin seemed to finally realize it and scrambled backwards, face flaming red. Everyone laughed and Niori winked, and Erin covered her face in her hands in embarrassment. Jane took her absence as a cue to lean up and hug Niori.

"Looks like you'll make it to the Shire after all."

"I guess I will. You better have a guest room ready for me."

"Always," Jane said, squeezing Niori's hand.

Frodo and Elijah took turns hugging her next. "I'm glad you're alright," was what Elijah said, and Frodo followed with, "It seems you've charmed Death yet again."

"I guess he still thinks it'd be a shame to deprive Middle Earth of my wit and beauty."

Before anyone else could say anything else, the doors opened again and Thranduil strode into the room. Everyone straightened, half coming to attention, even Legolas. The only one who didn't was Niori, but that might have been from being tired, not being comfortable with her future father-in-law's presence. He looked across the room, taking them all in, before settling on Niori. His face, which had been impassive before, softened slightly when he saw her sitting up and lucid.

"I'm glad to see you awake," he said, "you had the entire kingdom worried."

"Thanks," Niori sounded unsure of the impersonal words, even if she knew there was truth in them. Then, she pushed forward anyway, "we named them."

Erin was surprised. Legolas had stubbornly refused to do so, which she understood. She just hadn't expected them to do it so soon after Niori had woken up.

Finally, Thranduil's face showed interest, "And what are my grandchildren called?"

"Dominic," she said while Legolas took her hand, "and Amowiel," their names clearly surprised him, for all Thranduil tried to contain it. He looked at Legolas, who looked back with a challenge. Before anything could happen between the two, Niori spoke again, "it's something we do in my world. We name our children after the people we've lost, the ones we love," Niori glanced over at Legolas, "the ones we miss."

There was something complicated happening there, something Erin couldn't begin to understand. Looking around at everyone else, only Tauriel wasn't equally confused. She looked worried. It must be an Elf thing.

Thranduil looked away from his son and back to Niori. Finally, he stopped trying to hide his emotions. It was a small smile, a somewhat sad one, but there, "The Valar have granted us a great gift in returning you to us Niori Richards, for the halls of the Woodland Realm would be a darker place without you in them. After you've healed, we'll have a grand celebration for your recovery."

Niori looked bewildered, "Thank you…"

"Now rest. I shall leave you to your guests," he swept out of the room, pausing only once to run a hand across the grandchild still held in Arien's arms.

Once he was gone, Niori turned to Legolas, "That went better than I expected it to."

"What was that?" Jane asked in confusion, before Erin could.

"I'll explain all that later," Niori waved the question away, "Right now all I want to do is relax and listen to people tell me how awesome my children are."

All of them launched into commentary about the twins, realizing that talking over each other would never work, so they would have to take turns. Erin and Mila both went on about how amazingly calm they were. Jane couldn't stop gushing about their cute squishy faces. Arien hadn't even finished waxing poetic about how tiny they were before Niori had once again drifted off into a well deserved rest.

l.l.l.l

AN- Tada! If anyone is still out there reading this far in/this long later, don't be shy in leaving a comment.