Chapter Forty-Two: Truth or Dare
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With that perpetual condition of unwanted irritation apparent on his face, Sasuke looked into the distance, eyes searching to the east, beyond the mist's ghost-strips. His Sharingan was out, and it did not seem as though he wanted to look her way. Only weeks had come to pass, yet she felt that something inside her had cooled off against her will.
Longing flared up, but it did not sink back down. It rose and rose, and she did not feel any shame in letting her imaginations run wild and free. They carved their own course in that dirt-road of her mind, and she felt a smile crawl across her face. Rain was cool on her cheeks and neck, but she felt delicious and hot. He had a Sharingan, but he did not possess the instrument to read her mind—not like that.
"I—" she fumbled and bit her lip in irritation for he always made her vulnerable. Breathing in deeply, she cleared the haze in her head to speak again, her voice no less timid this time: "I have to complete the mission in the allotted t-time? What if I'm unable to?" Hinata asked, feeling the veins over-fill themselves with much warmth that she heard every pulse in her body—loud and clear.
He did not stir for some moments, head bent, eyes on his hand. He kept curling and uncurling his fingers. A wince crossed his features every time he did so; he had not fully healed from his injuries.
"Complete your task and come back within a couple of minutes," he said coldly, cheeks red, decorations of freezing ire and autumn.
Hinata did not like his tone. It had been weeks since she had last seen him. She did not enjoy his tamed wrath: she did not deserve it! She huffed out a sigh, and her face worked into an expression of discontent, too. Red responded and flooded her cheeks, and she curled her right hand and pressed it against her breast. Her heart was not quiet; no, it was loud and furious.
"You could tell me some more. What would happen if I—"
"If you fail?" Sasuke silenced her, his head turning sharply to her, his teeth clenching as tightly as stones in a pathway. He looked . . . very angry. "You'll be sent home. Is that good enough, or do you want to be coddled some more?"
Anger flew from her eyes, only to return with a new intensity. "Why are you angry? It isn't fair, Sasuke," she said, face turning to hide her emotions, and she felt many of them, attacking her all at once.
"You're so direct with me," he said in a low, guttural voice, veins knotting on his brow. "I'm your superior. Intimacy shouldn't fill your head with air. Bring yourself down to the ground. It'll do you good." The shame his brother put him through danced naked in his mind, wilder than his fires. He hated him, loathed him, his contempt for him exceeding his mind's limits. Any disturbance proved to be too much for his senses . . .
Hinata stepped back, eyes growing round like an owl's. Her face turned deep red, still filling with shock, confusion, disbelief. Her mind groped through a maelstrom of desire, anger, memory. He was not being fair. She had given him her heart—she told him of that. It felt hurtful to be at the receiving end of his whiplash.
"I don't—" Hinata whispered and swallowed back the lump of anger coming up to her throat to choke her, "—I-I don't deserve this. You shouldn't talk to me this way. It isn't fair—y-you aren't being fair!" Her face, covered in layers of contained anger, showed blotches of light and shade, and she did not let her eyes wander anywhere. They were bent on his face, and he did not seem moved.
"Life isn't fair. Not all things have to go your way," he said and shoved his hands into his pockets, his head turning almost dismissively.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you! Don't be u-unfair to me—don't!" she shouted, and he stared back indifferently, jaws clenching tightly, eyes swirling with emotions turbulent.
Sasuke drew in a deep breath and faced her; his countenance, still rigid. "What do you want? I'm in no mood for this emotional show of yours. Nii-Sama's already breathing down my neck to cut you loose. I can't handle you and Naruto both. If it's between you and him, I will drop you if you don't perform," he said, sounding rough and uncaring, every muscle in his face tight. Nothing she said seemed to soften his anger.
Hinata stared back, and defeat, familiar and fearsome, returned to her face, and she looked down, letting herself be distracted by the many coloured leaves sinking in the mud. "Of course," she breathed out and smiled a bitter smile, "of course you would choose him. He's your friend. No b-barrier—trust and kindness—it's all meant for him. You're unfair, and you're cruel . . . " She swallowed up her tears and did not let grief devour her.
"Don't quarrel with me like a child. Naruto has nothing to do with this. You all have ruined his life as it is," he said, his eyes meeting hers, gazing at shock permeate her cold-nipped face, slowly.
Yet again, her expression changed and anger won over and consumed her. Her hands curled into fists, body shaking, emotions striking her heart's core. "How could you say that to me?" she asked in a voice that was quite unlike the one she was familiar with, and her eyes grew wide with shock. "For years, I've suffered at his hands. He was unkind to me. He never cared about me. He l-left me for days to rot in that house. No one came for me, but what would you know? You, who has a brother who loves you—loves you so much. You don't know anything. You . . . " and her words faded under the loud bark of Sasuke's laughter.
His head was tilted, and he laughed and laughed as though it was the most amusing thing in the world. At last, his laughter faded and his eyes slowly opened, his long white throat vibrating under the drizzle with repressed sounds. His breast heaved rapidly for few moments before he quieted his loud breaths and sighed. Then, as though something had passed, he looked at her face. She was so shocked that he could not help but create a smile on his face; his eyes began to sparkle with a frightening emotion that made her shiver.
Almost distracted by dusk's coming, he looked upon the red that spread over the horizon for a moment more before he spared her the cast of his cold glance. "You don't know a thing about my brother. Don't try your hand at that mystery. It's beyond your reach," he said, with not an ounce of kindness, tapped at the side of his head, and stared at her up and down as he passed his tongue over his lips, a little thoughtlessly. " . . . Naruto? You and your family ruined him. He struggles to break free, but you're so sure of yourself that you must put him down. You're . . . a fool."
Amusement seemed to have vanished from his face, like a nightly ghost at daybreak. It was like something Hinata said that created a sting on his skin and hurt him raw. Her words had angered him and she did not know why. She looked at him and he back at her, and her heart could not bear that he was going further and further away from her.
Her resolve struck her mind into action, and she wanted to trip forward and grab hold of his hand, yell at him, make him hers; so she looked at him with much curiosity, and her eyes tried to cut through the mists between them. His face did not relate rigid self-control and detached coolness like Itachi's: no, he had his own passions to exhibit, but he blew hot and cold; she did not know what to do about him—about herself. Time was slipping away from her like he, and she had no desire to let go just yet. It was too soon to part from him, too soon . . .
"It's the truth. You're only siding with your friend. It's his fault. It's all his fault," she said breathlessly and grasped at her breast as if to control and calm her jumping heart.
"Why didn't you leave him?" he asked and tilted his head and focused his red eyes on her face; and, quite suddenly, he looked curious as to what she would say, his anger forgotten.
Hinata blinked, and her face suddenly went blank. Then she raised her eyebrows, widened her eyes, and showed her teeth, grimacing. "Where could I have gone? Y-You talk like I ever had a home to go to," she said, fully resentful, and turned her gaze away. Her father came into her thoughts, and she felt that, deep in her heart, she had always loathed him.
"Your family loves his gold," he said, smiling.
"His gold?" Hinata repeated, feeling angered and humiliated by his words. "I'm his wife. He did me no favours by caring for me. I've done all that I can as his wife. I have—"
"He told me that you were unkind to him," Sasuke cut her off and pushed his hands back into his pockets; his warm breaths hung in the air before fading away right before her eyes. "He was burdened by your father and his parents to give every penny he earned and owned to all of you." He widened and then narrowed his eyes, smiling a colder smile.
Hinata was silent. His words struck her, and she raised her hand to rub at her cheeks as though she could feel the sting on her skin. Her mind wandered, and she looked through every memory; and it occurred to her . . . she never spoke to him when he came back after many days and nights.
He used to smile when they got married. Then, little by little, his smiles vanished and he talked less and less till he stopped coming home. He would disappear for days after lectures from Hiashi and his parents. They always admonished him, belittled him for not giving them an heir. He tried, but the pain terrified her so much that she did not ever let him come near her. As time went on, he did not ask her for intimacy. He became cold and detached. He stopped caring.
"I had to lend him money. You all trapped him to get an heir at all costs. It's not a matter of fairness—it's cruel," he whispered, his face changing this time to exhibit his displeasure.
"He had enough to enjoy himself. For four years, he was intimate with someone else. At least, he had something. At least, he wasn't rotting away all alone like I was," Hinata said and her voice faltered. "It's easy for you to say this because you're a m-man. You wouldn't understand. You wouldn't!"
"Naruto's a fool, but he didn't go near Sakura till about a year ago," Sasuke said and his words shocked her again. He was lying—this could not be true!
"That's a lie! Don't lie to me! People told me. People—" she broke off and stifled a sob, her eyes red with fresh tears that burnt along her cheeks. She gulped in the air to cool off the sensation, and that eased her pain just a bit.
"No, it's the truth," he said, smiling, "people say many things. People lie. Naruto never touched Sakura till last year. He told me. He was bitter. He hated his life with you. He wanted to shame his parents. He hoped that this would make them free him, but they're persistent. Without their support, he'd be on the streets—beggars can't be choosers."
Thunder shrieked and lightning streaked in the sky, but blood talked louder in Hinata's ears. He was lying. He had to be lying. She mashed her trembling lips together and swallowed down her sobs. Then she closed her eyes against the bites of tears, but the pain in her heart haunted her. She had broken apart her own life? No, it could not be. She bent her head to hide away her shame. She did not know what to say. Nothing tripped from her tongue: it was shy again.
"He . . . he could've spoken to me. He could have . . . " she choked on the words. They were scratching at her throat, burning it, hurting it. It was all anger and shame and sorrow. All was lost—years of her life, lost.
Sasuke did not say anything and turned his eyes to look at the lightning that ran across the sky like a sacred animal. It broke up into many blue forks up north. The sky lit up and a loud noise followed and then it was silence again.
Hinata felt her feet move, and before she could stop herself, she was standing before him. Her face tilted up to look at him and his red eyes that she had learnt to love so much. "He shouldn't have gone near her," she paused and took in sharp breaths in an attempt to cool down the distressed heart that hit at her spirit, "he shouldn't have. You don't know how it has shamed me. His infidelity. His coldness. You don't know. It's easy for you to say this to me, but y-you're not me. You're not me. He shouldn't have gone near her. He's still a terrible man. N-No matter what you say, it doesn't change that!"
"You're the same, aren't you?" he asked, voice soft as breeze, and her eyes went wide. "You asked me to come near you—many times. You liked it, too. Why do you only find fault in him? I don't find fault in you." His eyes narrowed, but he looked calm. That anger had fled from him, and she was secretly glad.
"Don't say that," she said, anguished and without a breath, and moved her hands to take hold of his. "Don't say that. You hurt me. Your words hurt m-me."
Sasuke was silent, ears filling up with the pleasant sounds from storm and forest. His skin was cold like the wind, and his heart was just as cold. His anger got the best of him today, but she came through regardless. She was . . . easy, naïve, weak. (His brother was a wicked boy, but he had not made a mistake in assessing her.)
Hinata pulled his hand to herself and placed it gently upon her breast. He sensed her heart leaping up underneath her wet jacket at his touch—it craved his touch. Her eyes were closed, lashes fluttering, face serene. Her long hair swayed behind her in the wind. Pink invaded the white of her skin, and when she opened her eyes, she looked free and enamoured.
"Don't hurt me," she sighed out, more softly this time, and squeezed his hand in hers. "I was alone and I had no one and—I'm not ashamed of what I did. If Kami gave me another chance, I-I'll—I'll do it again! I'm not ashamed to love you. I won't be ashamed!" She moved forward, hands on each side of his wet face, and she leant up to kiss him.
Hinata started with his lips as her hands reached to the back of his head. Her fingers tangled in his messy hair. Almost hesitant to answer her entreaty, his lips opened slightly in response; and she was quick to avail this moment. His mouth was warm, his tongue hot against hers. Lust vibrated in her like music; and she wanted him to take her on the leaf-covered ground, feed her passion, appease her lust, burn her body the way she enjoyed.
There was this insistent pressure of her pink lips against his jaw and his throat as she tried to desperately tug him down into the violent storm of her cravings. She pulled back suddenly and whispered again: "I'm not ashamed." Then she moved further back, her eyes still on his; she kept moving back till she stopped in the sunrays, which played with her as delicately as children, and stood silently a few feet from him
Exhausted and fed up of it all, Sasuke sat down upon the fallen tree and rubbed at his eyes. He was tired. "Go and complete the task. Catch the man in the forest in ten minutes and bring him back. If you don't complete this in time, Nii-Sama will be angry me. I'm in no mood for his lectures today," he said, head bowed as he kept looking down at the glinting grass, garbed in mist-kissed dews.
Hinata nodded and disappeared from sight, and he created a happy child-like smile, which was void of warmth, behind her back . . .
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"Your report is thirty minutes late," Itachi spoke whilst he sat in Sasuke's office chair. He had decided to scold him here this time. "Why do you always want me to spoil you, Sasuke?"
Sasuke stood under his shadow, which was a strange creation of light's and night's union. (The Devil's spawn—how did his innocent mother conceive this monster?) His wild demeanour had lost itself in these last few days behind fear's armour that was heavy enough that he wanted to cast it from his flesh as quickly as possible. He figured that his injuries flared his anger. Now that his body was nearly healed, his heart shuddered, as if from a violent crash, whenever his eyes fell upon Itachi. His body was afraid of getting hurt—he was afraid that Itachi would hurt him again. All that audacity, all that boldness, was gone. Vanished. He was vulnerable again.
"Do you await an invitation to tell me the details?" Itachi asked as coldly as he could have and pressed his fingers to his temples.
"She twisted her foot in the mud. I had to take her to the infirmary. She doesn't know how to write a report. It took a while for me to guide her," Sasuke said, and his words barely managed to conceal his fear's presence.
"How unfortunate for the discarded Hyūga girl. Is she not a little clumsy? Her family washed their hands clean of her, yet you adore having her as an extra playmate. We should all abide by your charitable decisions to embrace lonely married women. Her family's unhappiness be damned," he spoke and a smile came to his face. Sasuke was silent.
"She hasn't been in the squad for long. You know this," he said, irritation obscured by his gravel tone, his head bent, and he stood with his hands clasped behind his back—an obedient posture—his knuckles white as seashells.
Itachi did not answer and looked at his younger sibling for a moment longer and opened the report. His face was slightly tight, the expression of his countenance irritated, his red eyes shining like his father's lanterns in the dark. He read it in two heartbeats. Then his frown deepened, and he rolled up the scroll. He let out a soft tsking sound when he saw his crow sitting in the window. It vanished after a single unpleasant caw.
"Congratulations. She barely managed to scrape a win this time. I feel luck-less, yet you should be ecstatic, delirious with joy that you had your way again," Itachi spoke and his deep, mocking voice hurt Sasuke's senses. Itachi rose to his feet and made his way to him, his eyes wandering in Suigetsu's direction, who stood silently by the window, away from Sasuke. His head was bowed, as well. Itachi stopped, and his shadow sluiced down one half of Sasuke's entire body, and he wanted to shrink away.
"I want you in my chamber in twenty minutes to fix your addled head. Do you understand my words? Or make no mistake, child, you will be in trouble. With this new responsibility upon my shoulders, I have no time to coddle you and indulge your every whim. They seem to increase day by day.
"I only agreed to this Sage-forsaken mission for her Chūnin application had gone through without my knowledge. Consider yourself lucky that it reached the Hokage before me. A miracle, though I am sure you had a hand in its creation. I hope she takes careful steps in the coming days, or I will make certain that you are remorseful for wasting my time," he spoke thickly, an air of threat about him, and left the office with a graceful gait.
Sasuke's eyes glowed on his face in the wake of his brother's leaving. This night, his eternal eyes were out, and he pushed a heavy amount of chakra inside them to look into every nook and corner in the office. He saw it all: a spider in the deep crack, rats scrambling into the holes, frantic, and a snake down in the wiring. No one was here save him and Suigetsu. He could see his brother walking away from the office. His chakra was exquisite, beautiful, powerful. He felt a surge of emotion, a sense of pride. He was his brother, after all. He was perfect. The thought did not stay and got shattered by his anger; albeit he forgot, his pulses remembered his older sibling's cruelty, and his eyes cooled and he blinked. Suigetsu was smiling. He was as mischievous as ever.
"You have a big mouth," Sasuke said, quieted the red, and turned a little to look at him. Without Sharingan, he could barely make out the outline of Suigetsu's face—the shadows and the starless night were thick and mingling.
"Did it ta save yor life. I didn't know yor brother'll beat ya senseless," he said and chuckled. "Ya didn't call me 'ere ta talk 'bout the beatin' and the hugs ya want. Come on, what's eatin' ya? You can tell me, me purdy friend!" His smile was widening, and his teeth were showing. They were so white and clean that he could easily see them in the haziness about him.
"What else did Kisuke tell you?" Sasuke asked and closed his eyes to feel the breeze hit his hot skin. His brother's words had set his blood to boiling like that old cauldron in their house's kitchen—he used to poke at it with a stick as a child, often.
"A cunt frem Root's been comin' over in that shady place in Rain ta meet with Mist mutts. He said he saw Ao loiterin' 'bout there, too. The greasy arsehole still isn't happy. He's sniffin' 'round 'bout me," he explained and took a single step forward to come out from the shadows.
"Aburame Toruné," Sasuke paused, arrogance tearing through his blank face, and he smiled, "Aburame, still like insects. They can't help but crawl into Root's lap in hopes of gaining something for their clan. He must have a middle-man. Find him, kill him, and make your clone take his place. I want this done soon."
Sasuke's eyes, all-consuming with a wild hunger for revenge, began to shine brightly that Suigetsu smiled. "Ya want me ta lure 'im out? It won't be easy," Suigetsu said and crossed his arms. The silver light from moon made his watery body more obvious: he glowed in the dark with a strange aura about him.
"Spread a rumor about Kisame among few Leaf-hired Shinobis there. Mist will be wary. They have peace-treaty meetings coming up. I read Mei's mind last time. The news won't reach her that soon. Make haste. The sooner we get this done, the better. I want to know what that whelp knows," Sasuke said, tone abrasive, expression touched by resolve, imparting to his face a wild lustre.
"What 'bout yor brother?" he asked, looking a bit shocked. "Ya took a beatin'—a damned nasty one, too. Isn't it too soon ta jump back into this? Think 'bout it, Sasuke. Don't be too hasty."
Sasuke ran his teeth across his bottom lip. He suddenly looked amused. "Nii-Sama has a lot on his plate," he said and gave a soft laugh as though he was enjoying himself. "Between Anbu, his Head responsibilities, and a foolish woman he needs to handle for an heir, I doubt he'd suspect this. My brother's clever, perfect, but he's human. He has his limits. He's exhausted these days. It's amusing to see him struggle with all this. He'd never expect me to start something so soon, not after what he did." And Suigetsu could see teeth in his sinister smile. He looked bitter, angry, happy!
"Ya got a hearin' tomorrow. Ya remember that, don'tchya?" Suigetsu asked with a curious smile. He watched as Sasuke's eyes glowed redder, and his lips stretched wider into a delightful smile that made him shiver. He could not believe that Itachi's beating had only made him more stubborn, more angry.
"Nii-Sama told me last night that he loves me," he said in a manner that it sounded like mockery. "Let him worry about that. Nothing will happen. You do as you're told. A treaty signing with Cloud is coming soon. He would be busy. We can use that time to kill Toruné and get the information he knows. Once I get that, I can deal with Nii-Sama. You worry too much, Suigetsu, you fool."
Sasuke walked away from him and stood by the window. Suigetsu kept staring at his back. Itachi would find out, and both of them would be in great trouble. He knew it! It was a gut feeling, but he just knew . . .
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