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I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to.

If you're a fan of Mustang you probably won't like this chapter. He's an actual asshole.

This chapter has a 'G' rating, except language.

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She'd just up and told him one day. "I'm a woman". Out of the blue. Then she'd left on a mission for a month so he could figure it out himself.

When she got back she learned he'd assigned himself to her last two cases as a "performance review".

Absolute bullshit.

The first mission with him was bad enough. He wouldn't stop hovering around her and she'd ended up knocking him unconscious and clearing everything up herself.

Mission two was a bit more difficult, and since it actually required two people he'd have to stay awake.

The plan had been to get to the building where the hostage was, have one person distract the perpetrators while the second person rescued the hostage, then they could both clear out the building.

"We've only got an hour left to find this building and get the hostage out."

I know Mustang

"Otherwise they'll blow it up with her inside."

I know Mustang

"You can't just go-"

She stopped. They'd been running and jumping from rooftop to rooftop in an attempt at stealth but he'd been talking the whole time. "Yes Mustang. I'm fucking aware of the plan! I'm aware of the map we used. I'm aware of the hostage situation."

"Well, your plan of hopping rooftops has failed because we can't get to the next one, it's too far."

Ed looked at him deadpan for a moment. "You mean YOU can't without my help."

"I-"

She picked him up with her automail arm and threw him over.

"Happy?"

He picked himself up and flipped her off. "God dammit FullMetal, get your ass over here!"

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I mean the opposite of 'yes' moron. You're so busy being a condescending fucking prick asshole that you didn't even realise that THIS is the correct building!"

His eyes went wide and he started cursing at her but she wasn't having it. "No! Listen here fuck-wit. You're useless! You're obsessed with yourself. And you're a misogynistic asshole commander. So..." she took a deep breath, "FUCK! YOU!"

The final shouted words had the desired effect and several large men ran out on the roof to see what the yelling was.

She didn't even turn to face them, choosing to glare at Mustang the whole time.

*clap* *slam* she hit the ground with her palms and so much anger that the building seemed to grow taller and the rooftop swallowed the thugs up to their shins. Ed walked through them to the stairs. That asshole could find his own way to the bottom of his own damn building.

Once inside she realised that she might have put a bit too much into that last transmutation. The building was a floor higher than the original architect had designed, so now the basement was above ground, but also the entire structure no longer had any large windows or doors, just small slits in the walls for light, at least that would at least contain the group they were after. As far as her intel said, they weren't suicidal so they wouldn't blow it up with themselves inside.

She grumbled to herself while fighting her way through each floor. Fucking bastard flame Alchemist jackass.

Bad guys flying everywhere, she made it to the now-above-ground-basement and found the hostage.

Predictable.

Ed grabbed the girl and walked out a temporary door she made for herself.

Outside she discovered that Roy had found his way off the building next door and was running toward them.

She put the girl down and clocked him right in the jaw.

Turning to the girl, "when he wakes up, tell him that i was hoping the building would collapse on him."

Not exactly true, she didn't want anyone to die, but the anger hadn't dissipated yet. Besides, she could say what she wanted, the cops were on their way and she was done with this awful contact.

Misogynistic prick.

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Wasn't that fun? Sooooo out of character for Mustang but whatever, i'm trying to cover all reactions here.

Don't worry, i actually wrote three unrelated chapters for the story this time. So I won't leave you with this bad taste in your brain.