A/N: Just in case you folks are wondering why I spelled Beach Head's lines that way, I've read several fics where he speaks that way. I'm a man from Alabama myself so it sounds pretty accurate to me.
BUT, I digress.
In this chapter, a certain goody two shoes shows that he's not as clean cut as you think!
Chapter 3: Week 2
By the second week of Operation swear jar, the total had climbed up to almost two thousand dollars. Most Joes owed at least fifty dollars, while some owed over a hundred dollars! One thing was for sure; whoever won was gonna be rich!!!
Tuesday
Doc was in his office organizing his medical reports when Lifeline walked in with the patient checklists. "Morning, Doc.", said the young medic. "Ah Lifeline," said Doc, "How are our patients this morning?" "Pretty good. Wild Bill should be ready for duty in about three days, and the burns on Dusty's butt have healed."
Doc shook his head and chuckled. "What the hell was he thinking f*%king around with a d#$n flamethrower?" Now, what was Dusty doing with a flamethrower you ask? Well let's just say that fart lighting is a VERY bad idea, especially with a high powered flamethrower.
"I gotta admit, our unit does some crazy s#%t when we're bored.", said Lifeline. "Like taser tag?" said Doc with a smirk. "Ugh, don't remind me." sighed Lifeline. "I told those f%@kheads that if they ever do that s%$t again, I'll give them so many vaccines that their grandchildren's a$#es wil hurt." "Uh-oh, is the Sonuva Preacha Man cussin'?" laughed Doc. Lifeline smiled, "Hey, when it comes to adressing health risks, it's worth it.
Being the professionals they are, Doc and Lifeline keep their phones locked up until after duty hours. As a result neither one knew that they owed two and four dollars respectively to the swear jar till much later.
Thursday
"GET BACK HERE YOU TWO F%$KHEADED, S@#TFACED SONS-OF-B*@HES, SO I CAN KICK YOUR GODD#%N BALLS UP TO YOUR CHINS!!!" Scarlett screamed as she chased Barbecue and Airtight through the Pit. The two pranksters had went out and bought a remote-control spider, hoping to scare the bejeezus out of the angry woman on their tails. It had worked all too well, and she was hell-bent on murdering them with her bare hands.
"HELP, SOMEBODY F%KING SAVE US!!!", cried Barbecue. "I'M TOO D@%N YOUNG TO DIE!!!", shrieked Airtight. "Do you think we oughta save 'em?", Thunder asked Roadblock. "Against Scarlett?", replied the gunner, "No way, She'll make those fools pay!" Every Joe present proceeded to point and laugh. "You know normally I'd break that up by now.", Duke told Flint. "You're too busy admiring your girlfriend's angry mood are you?", said Flint. "Oh, like YOU don't do the same when it's Lady Jaye?", Duke countered. "Fair point.", admitted Flint.
Hawk managed to save Barbecue and Airtight from certain death. But to punish them, he told Scarlett that they had to work for her for a week. That suited her just fine; she needed some new training dummies anyway. (Emphasis on DUMMIES!) Her anger subsided until she checked her texts.
STAFF SERGEANT SCARLETT YOU OWE SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS TO THE SWEAR JAR.
Her right eye twitched. Barbecue and Airtight were going to be in a world of hurt.
Saturday
"How does he pick this d@$n thing up?!" Snarled Lady Jaye. "Fk picking it up, how does he shoot the thing without falling over?!" said Cover Girl. The two women were trying to use an M2 .50 cal machine gun the same way Roadblock does. Cover Girl had suggested it after machine gun target practice. She was able to pick it up while it was empty. Once she tried to load it though, she dropped it. "S@t.", the mechanic swore as it hit the ground. Lady Jaye had the same problem, except she dropped it on her foot."OWWW, GOD F%KING D@#N IT!", she screeched as she hopped up and down on her good foot.
Next they tried loading the Ma Deuce while it sat on its tripod, then picking it up. The model was able hold it and pressed the trigger. Five shots later the gun shook itself out of her grasp. "OH COME THE F*$K ON YOU LITTLE B$%@*D!", she yelled.
"I've got an idea.", said Lady Jaye. "What if we put it on our knees and shoot it?" Cover Girl looked at the gun, then back to her friend and shrugged, "Worth a shot."
The two women took turns. Both times they held the gun by its cooling vent, just as they had seen Roadblock do before. Their hands were between their knees and the weapon as they fired one full belt each. Satisfied with at least some small measure of success, they returned the heavy gun to the armory.
Lady Jaye checked her phone and recoiled at what was on her screen:
CORPORAL LADY JAYE YOU OWE FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS TO THE SWEAR JAR.
"Um Courtney, I think were gonna pay for that dearly.", she said as she showed her the text. Cover Girl snatched her phone from her pocket and was horrified to see:
CORPORAL COVER GIRL YOU OWE FOUR HUNDRED AND FIVE DOLLARS TO THE SWEAR JAR.
"I hate Clutch.", she said as the two headed inside.
They did a pretty good job of holding their toungues as they walked past the machine gun range, even as they saw Roadblock standing and firing his Ma Deuce on target without breaking a sweat.
Got off early today, so You people get an early update!
Wow those ladies have some pretty foul mouths do they? But seriously, can you imagine facing a whole army of Roadblocks?
(shudder)
Chapter Four coming soon!