Mustang looked up as the office door opened and the neighbouring secretary came in. His personal office was being renovated so his desk was out with everyone else and now he had all the fantastic distractions from paperwork that a room full of people provided. His attitude became smug. This was the secretary that had turned him down, looks like she'd changed her mind. He straightened his hair. Now everyone would see his skills with women.

Except she stopped at Ed's desk and struck up a conversation, a conversation that Ed clearly wasn't interested in. Mustang watched as the woman flirted with the oblivious Ed, his team casting nervous glances at him from the side. They'd heard the rejection last week and now she'd come in here to make it awkward.

Ed didn't notice though, and eventually the woman got tired of one word answers and huffed off back to her own office.

"Jeeze Ed, you didn't even flinch. Winry definitely picked the right guy."

Ed stopped working and looked up at Havoc, 'Huh?"

"That woman! She was hitting on you!"

Ed sighed, "For the thousandth time! I am not dating Winry. I am not interested in dating Winry. I am not romantically or sexually attracted to Winry. Ok yes, we dated once for a short amount of time when we were really young kids, but it ended quickly for the list of reasons I just gave you. And also, she's engaged to Al! So would you please stop with the comments?"

Mustang looked at Ed in amazement, "Then why didn't you respond to that woman?"

Ed's eye roll at Mustang was slightly exaggerated. "What woman?"

"The one that was just in here- Nevermind. I'm taking you out this afternoon and showing you how to pick up women."

"Mustang, i don't need-"

"Yes you do. Look at Havoc, if this happens again it'll kill him."

Ed glanced back over, Havoc looked devastated. To have a younger coworker throw away a date he'd been trying to get for months, especially after Mustang's rejection, it cut his soul in two.

"Fine. But you're all addicted to drama and this has to be the end of it." She'd just turn down any proposed dates and the outing should get Mustang off her case.

An hour later Ed was seated outside at a cafe patio, half listening to Mustang drone on about his 'technique' and brag about his accomplishments.

She hadn't meant for him to see the eye roll.

"You don't believe me? Fine, I'll show you."

Ed sipped her hot chocolate as Mustang sauntered into the adjacent park, she watched him flirt and come back with a paper, but before he could open his mouth Ed pointed at another woman. "Go ask that one."

"But i just-"

"You can't handle two dates?"

"I absolutely can!" He marched off and Ed watched as the woman in question slapped him.

She to tried not to smirk as he came back, faking wide eyes of confusion, "Why didn't that work?"

"Apparently she saw us over here and saw me just ask out that other girl. Did you point me at her on purpose?"

"Me? Never!"

It was such an odd statement to come from Ed that Mustang hesitated before changing gears, "FullMetal, are you jealous?"

Ed's head whipped around to face him, hot denial on her face.

He cut her off before she started "Are you attracted to me?"

Ed sputtered.

"I'm sorry Ed, I didn't realise you were attracted to men. We can go to a gay bar and I'll show you around, I've been a few times for a friend's birthday and stag party but i don't think I'll be able to show you much about picking up."

Ed stared for a moment at her almost ex-commanding officer as resignation set in. This was probably the best set up and scenario she'd have to come clean about her identity, so she took a deep breath and met his eyes.

"Mustang, I'm attracted to men but I'm not gay. Except for maybe that one time when i was very very young and i dated that one girl for a couple weeks, it ended quickly for the list of reasons I gave you earlier." She used the same words she had used in the office so he could connect the dots. Plus maybe he'd forget her reaction to the whole 'are you attracted to me' question while he processed this new information.

Roy stared at Ed, turning on the part of his brain that excelled in military intelligence. This wasn't adding up, or was it? Ed was a woman? But he was so … short? Flexible, light and agile, loud, educated, quick tempered, afraid of hospitals. Nothing was coming to mind that was a strictly 'male' trait. He looked his subordinate over, she didn't sit like a woman would, but then again she was trying to be a boy. Why? Is it easier to get access to educational and alchemical information as a man? To be taken more seriously? He'd heard Hawkeye vent about only getting information sometimes because she worked for him. Having to mention Roy Mustang before she was let into special parts of the library. Ok, he could concede that but no way this woman beside him was 18 more like-

"22."

How had she-?

"Because I've been through the gate a few times Roy. I've seen the Truth. Don't worry, you have a very good poker face, no one else would know."

"You know what i'm thinking?"

She didn't, those were just obvious questions, but she winked anyway to throw him off even further, "Sometimes".

His eyes went wide as he considered the ramifications.

Mustang had been staring for a while so Ed got up, "It's almost dinner time so I'm heading to that pasta place around the corner if you'd like to join me."

Roy watched her stand, she'd used his first name for the first time ever and unless he was way off his game she'd just flung her coat out to let him see the curve of her waist, then did a full body stretch that pulled her shirt up and gave him an opportunity to analyse every detail of her frame. From her missing adams apple to her… he just now noticed her skin-tight leather pants and swallowed a lump in his throat. Ed was definitely a 'she'. How had he never realised?

When she faced him before leaving it was like she'd done a full magical- girl transformation. Her gold eyes shining with mischievousness, "Coming?"

He couldn't speak, but pointed to the girl he'd asked out in the park.

There was no visible difference in her face but Mustang could have sworn her eyes lost some of their shine, "Ok. See you around then."

Since he was still unable to speak he couldn't correct her obvious misinterpretation but as long as she was at the restaurant he'd clear that up later. Two dates at once? Yes. But two dates when one of the women had saved the world and punched a god in the face? Definitely no. He'd have to cancel the park date first.