Hey, so, while i probably could have proof read this one more time, i still really like it. Once you get passed the beginning.

And because of that, i would really appreciate if people said nice things about it. OK?

This is my longest chapter and MY favourite. So be nice!

!**********

Ed had accomplished a lot in her life, sure she wasn't that old but she'd done so much already. Her brother was back in full body, no defects. She was back in full body, slight defects. Mostly invisible. Her arm and leg had regained their muscle and there were a few external scars but nothing she cared about. It was time to start living for herself.

But what to do? She'd already traveled the known world, maxed out her career goals, saved lives and the planet from the brink of destruction. Blah blah blah. The next main life objective was marriage and children, which was unfortunately removed from her list of options when the gate had taken her ability to create life in exchange for hers and her brother's bodies. It'd been called a 'choice' at the time but really, her brother's life in exchange for her ability to have children was a no-brainer. She'd been ready to give her whole existence for him and she hadn't hesitated when the cost came in as less than that. So here she was, mid-life crisis at age 22.

The only other thing remaining on her list was to tell the team who she was because they still believed she was an 18 year old boy that somehow hadn't hit puberty. This wasn't really a "life goal" though, and it meant she'd probably be removed from Musta- the military which she didn't want to happen yet so, like an adult, she was ignoring it.

As for her current family, Al and Winry had decided to travel and learn new automail techniques, and with no visitors and nothing else to look forward to, her life had become boring and she found she was constantly searching for opportunities to get into trouble. She'd learned at a bar one night that a beer before bed would calm her nerves and help her sleep, but that was a slippery and invisible slope into alcoholism and she wasn't looking for that kind of trouble. So in her determination to find something to do before bed that wasn't drink, she'd started walking around at night. Which was fine when she didn't combine it with the thing she was trying to avoid. Her third time drinking and walking ended in her discovering what the inside of a sex shop looked like, which incidentally stocked things to do before bed that weren't drinking or walking related. Unfortunately her attention span on that subject only lasted a few months, it was boring with just yourself, so she pulled an about-face and decided to read everything that the library had. Again. Hopefully that would keep her busy for a few more months.

A light flashed in the distance and Ed looked up from her not-very-exciting biography of a famous catfish delicatessen in YousWell, and watched from her apartment balcony as Mustang, almost 2 blocks away and on an adjacent street, escorted a beautiful woman into his house. She couldn't see much more than his front door on the side of the building, but that was enough to snoop on his comings and goings.

She'd been watching while reading for the last few months. Sometimes women went in with him, sometimes he was alone. But every time a woman went in with him she left a few hours later with a smile on her face. Ed had developed thousands of theories, her favourite: Was Mustang a male hooker on the side? Which couldn't be good for his goal of "King" status.

Her brain jumped at the distraction, maybe she could become a hooker. Yeah right, with her no experience... But what if she could get experience, from the gigolo. The gigolo that she had a crush on, and was also her boss.

Ed looked at her drink with suspicion. This was only her first right? Maybe it was time for bed.

Two weeks later and Ed hadn't come up with any better ideas for what to do with her life. Ok, maybe the one where she opened a shop, but subjecting herself to a customer service role for her remaining years still seemed a bit boring. She needed excitement and Mustang seemed to be doing something exciting all the time considering the frequent use of his front door. She could ask him. He was alone tonight, she'd seen him. She could go see what he was doing.

So she did, by rooftop. Her missing automail making her body significantly lighter and allowing her to travel with ease, and silence. In no time she was on his roof and peering over the edge into an empty bedroom window. Where had he gone?

She climbed in through the unlocked pane and looked around. Only two doors meant only two options and Ed started toward the closest door. Suddenly there was a rustle of cloth from behind it and Ed immediately realised the troublesome situation that her rash acting had put her in.

She'd broken into The Flame Alchemist's bedroom in only her pajamas, the Flame Alchemist that was her boss with pajama shorts that barely covered her ass. Was this how desperate she was to find excitement? Another rustle on the other side of the door spurred her into action and as it opened outward she grabbed one of his ties from the back of a chair and jumped him.

She got pretty good height and before he was able to see what was happening she'd tackled him into the wall, putting the tie over his eyes as a blind fold. Mustang grabbed at his assailant and when Ed felt the sandpaper roughness of his igniter gloves on her thighs she put all her effort into keeping the tie over his eyes. Practically hugging his head. If she let go he'd toast her for sure so she couldn't give him an inch. She had to keep a tight grip-

"Aieee!"

Did he just bite her stomach?

!*

She recoiled enough that Mustang was able to find a hold on her arm and waist and pulled her half way off of him. This was obviously a woman, that yelp of pain was pretty high pitched, plus he'd felt her breasts on the top of his head and she was short enough that her legs barely wrapped around his chest. But why was he having so much trouble when he was a trained military general for fuck sakes? Was she part spider monkey?

He grappled with the limbs around his upper half as he slowly made his way to the bed. He'd been blind before and this was his bedroom so it was easy enough to navigate, but he still didn't want to drop a small woman on the floor if he could help it, she hadn't even hurt him.

Wait, she wasn't hurting him. At all. She was just holding on, keeping the blind fold in place. Interesting.

Mustang finally found the bed and dropped them both onto it, a win for him because now he could use his weight and strength to figure out what the hell was going on. It was still difficult but he managed to slowly remove each leg from around him and kneel over her thighs, which freed up his hands to restrain her arms.

He was still blind folded though and couldn't find a way out of that situation. If he shifted his weight upward she'd use her knees to knock him forward and get her legs free. If he shifted his weight downward to her knees she'd be able to use him as leverage and smash her head into his, though she could probably still do that now and clearly hadn't thought of it. He'd pinned her hands with each of his but again, couldn't move them. Her arms were surprisingly strong and he wasn't sure one of his hands could hold them both together while he removed his blindfold.

For a moment he felt like he should probably be a bit more upset about being pushed into a stalemate so quickly, but he was in a strange mood after his date for the night had cancelled in favour of going out with girlfriends.

Mustang stretched out his other senses and when he didn't feel any immediate danger, decided to see what he could find out about his 'captured' foe.

"Who are you?"

Her whispered reply was harsh but the tone seemed oddly familiar. "Why would i tell you if i just went through all the trouble to blind fold you?"

"Does that mean I already know who you are?"

"... sort of." It was mumbled and less recognisable.

"Ok, so why are you in my house?"

!*

Ed was annoyed, and a little turned on. Had her automail really given her that much of an edge over him? Yes, genetically men were stronger but she'd trained so hard for months to get her strength back in both limbs and the quickness of her defeat was embarrassing. As for answering his question, she knew she wouldn't be able to use her normal voice or this would be over for her in seconds. She'd have to use her soft voice at low volume. Here goes nothing.

"I wanted to talk to you."

The voice she'd found would be called a 'bedroom voice' by anyone with experience and Mustang did not expect the shiver that ran up his spine.

His hold loosened but he didn't let go. "You didn't want to use the front door?"

"Uh, it was locked?"

"That's why you knock." But he was smirking and she relaxed a little.

"This was faster. I wanted to see you."

"Naked? Because that is my bathroom. The only reason I'm wearing clothes is because I heard the window."

She seemed distracted by the question and Mustang grabbed the opportunity to shift his grip on her and sit back for a chance to remove the blind fold. She was faster on the defensive though, and using his weight on her legs as leverage she pulled her arms free and sat straight up, almost smacking her head into his jaw and pulled the knot tighter before he grabbed her wrists and pushed her neck down again. Arms to each side.

She struggled a bit as if testing him before giving up, and another shiver rolled through him when she spoke, "Please leave that on. It's more fun this way."

Mustang decided to stop trying to pull the tie off and cleared his throat. Even a second time, the reaction he had to her voice was still unexpected.

Finally remembering to use his brain he re-analysed the situation, he had her wrists, maybe he could use her pulse to judge intentions.

"Ok... So how can I help you? Are you interested in my night life?" She seemed so confident and this whole blind fold idea was turning him on.

She hesitated, "Actually. Yes. I want to know what you do at night."

That surprised him. "What I do at night? You broke into my house to see what I do at night?"

Her annoyed grumble sparked another familiar thought in his brain and he cocked his head to try and figure it out.

She derailed his thinking, "It's not breaking-in if the window is unlocked."

"Technically it is. But why me?" He shifted his hips slightly into hers and felt her pulse jump and heard her breath catch. Interesting. He decided to take a gamble, "Does it have anything to do with your reaction when i do this?"

Mustang leaned forward and lightly kissed the side of her neck. It had been a guess both in his aim and if it would work, but he played this game often and the odds were on his side.

Ed gasped and her head tilted subconsciously to give him more access.

She did not see his grin or the delight in his face. "Well, miss anonymous house breaker. If i promise to leave the blind fold on, and with your consent of course. May i show you what i do some nights?"

!*

Ed could barely speak. This was going to end in disaster but she couldn't bring herself to say no. She wasn't technically a virgin, she just hadn't slept with a man before. Or been touched or kissed or holy fuck where had his head gone?!

She hadn't even noticed her shorts had come off. Mustang was definitely a professional.

!*!*

Ed walked into the office the next day to see Mustang gathering the troops. She would have been concerned except Hawkeye was sitting at her desk with her feet up and pointedly ignoring the men.

"Ed! You're here! I'm going to need you to go with Fuery to the East building and write down the names and descriptions of all the women you can find."

Do what now? "Uh, no thanks."

"Ed as your commanding officer I demand you go find me a woman!"

That hurt more than she expected. "No way you perverted freak!. You want women you go get your own."

Havoc spoke up, "Not just any woman Ed. The boss has a particular one in mind."

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Never knew you to have a problem finding women Mustang, finally useless in all aspects of your life?"

"Listen pipsqueak. I have a girl, I just can't find her. So shut up and help."

"Still no. AND DON'T CALL ME-"

"Fine! But see if i care next time you want my help!"

Ed watched the team leave, Mustang made sure to glare one last time before slamming the door, then sat down to start her own work.

"It's you isn't it?"

Ed jumped at the sound of Hawkeye's voice. "What's me?" But she wouldn't meet the older woman's eyes.

"I thought so."

A slight blush was starting to colour her cheeks.

"They're looking for you you know."

Ed glanced nervously at the door. "It sounded like it could be anyone."

Riza would not be deterred. "It's you. Also, you should be aware that he told everyone everything that happened last night. Full detail. I suddenly know more about what you like in bed than I do about your family."

Ed's face turned bright red. She'd never heard Mustang talk about his women before, she'd thought he could keep his mouth shut. Now Hawkeye knew she had no idea what she was doing, she felt she had to explain herself. "I wasn't sure what I was supposed to-."

What an odd respon- Riza's eyes went wide, "It was your first time?! He's going to be furious when he finds out it's you and your first time. For fuck sakes Ed. What were you thinking?!"

Ed had never heard Hawkeye swear before and was bullied into a true answer.

"I don't know. I went to ask him what he did with his spare time and then it just happened. He's good at…. stuff."

Hawkeye looked at Ed's innocent face. Usually she wasn't taken in by the puppy look but this time seemed different.

"Did he hurt you?"

"... No. I mean, not on purpose. He was trying really hard to be nice. But I think the blind fold made him want more. "

"Ed… are you ok? Like, really ok?"

Ed thought about it. Was she ok? Last night was a bit of a shock. A very pleasurable shock. But still. Then she'd gotten home and taken time for herself. A hot bath. Personal inspection checklist she usually saved for kidnappings. A good night's sleep.

Yes. She was ok. Actually, she might want to do that again.

Hawkeye caught her look of reminiscence and grumbled. "You are both the most impulsive people I have ever met. You're lucky he has more experience holding back."

Ed wasn't sure how to answer that, it wasn't even a question. She stayed silent.

"Ok. Well, let's go through the birds and the bees and the after-care. At least this way you'll know what to say 'no' to, how to say no, and how to take care of yourself afterward."

Ed listened with rapt attention for half an hour before Hawkeye finished. Her eyes were wide with information overload... but still she wanted a repeat of last night. And now she had things to apply to her next "educational experience".

Hawkeye made sure she had the younger woman's attention, "Ed, despite everything I just said, I want you to tell him the truth. I don't think what you're doing is anywhere near a good idea and I want to put it on record in your brain that I am advising you against it. This is going to end so terribly."

Ed nodded in understanding but couldn't make herself give Hawkeye any promises. She thanked the older woman and tried to focus on her work.

!*!*

Mustang anticipated a visit that night, then the next, so when his mystery woman didn't show up until the third night, he was feeling weirdly possessive. It was a strange feeling especially since he could find someone new in an hour or two very easily. He didn't even know this woman and his subconscious had decided it didn't want anyone else.

!*

Ed peered carefully over the edge of the roof and saw the window was wide open and Mustang's back was to it while he sat reading; beside him, a real blind fold was on the table.

If he was this eager and it felt that good, it couldn't be as bad as Hawkeye was saying, so in she went.

!*!*

Two weeks went by with Ed visiting every other day or so before Mustang declared to her that he would discover her identity even with the blind fold on.

Ed's arrogance that had been missing on her first night of uncertainty had returned in full with its own mental blindfold and she didn't believe him. Mustang didn't argue, he knew better than to list the things he was learning lest she never show up again. For example, her exact height when he had her up against the wall, or the length of her hair down her back. The scars on her shoulder and thigh from an accident she wouldn't reveal the details of. The shape of her face and body. That her nails were short and her teeth were sharp, though he wasn't sure that last one would help him find her identity.

His list grew longer every visit, mannerisms, speech patterns. Temper. Oh boy did she have a temper. He couldn't play with that too much until he was able to get this thing off his eyes but he knew it was there, simmering whenever he took too long or teased too much.

None of this was matching the list of women he had met at work though, so the next night she visited he decided to leave himself a message. With slow and intense kisses he went up one arm, across her neck, and down the other arm. She didn't stop him, it felt amazing and her brain didn't register the intentional bruising until after she'd returned home and seen herself in the mirror.

Fucking jackass marked her up all over! How was she supposed to hide this?

The answer it turned out, was with a high collared coat, her braid looser than usual, and gloves. Essentially, her normal clothes. And the next day as Mustang ran right past her she wondered how much was her coat and how much was willful ignorance.

The jackass was recruiting the team to visit all the women in the building again and note who had hickies and who was absent. Jackass. She would not be joining his idiot parade today and waved him off as the group of males gathered their 'assignments' and started out.

She was almost in the clear when Havoc happened to get too close on his way to the door. He did a weird double-take and instead of joining Mustang, he sat down and stared at Ed as she silently glared at him to keep his mouth shut.

"Havoc! Aren't you coming? We have to check all the sexy ladies!"

He finally tore his eyes from Ed's, "No sir, lots to do here."

"Ed are you really sure? You might meet someone you like!"

"Not on your life jackass!"

He slammed the door, Ed was so unhelpful.

Havoc resumed staring at Ed until the noise in the hallway faded away.

"You're a wo-"

"Yeah"

"And you're the-?"

"Shut up."

"But-"

"Doesn't matter."

"I think it does matter" Havoc countered, "It does matter Ed because i think he's falling for this woman, that's you, and he's going to lose his mind when he realises the truth."

Ed had the decency to look ashamed, "I can't have a relationship Havoc. If he gets too far into it I'll break it off."

Havoc rolled his eyes and lit a new cigarette, "Well that was an obvious lie and you're clearly in as deep as he is. What did he do to you? You look like you're addicted."

If she could admit it to herself, she'd see that she was. She didn't.

"It's fine."

"Well then, can i see the bruise? Since he's got us all out looking for it."

Normally Ed would say no to any type of personal request, but for some reason she was strangely proud of her first hickies. She pulled her gloves off, tied her braid farther back, and took her coat off.

Havoc sat transfixed. Her entire neck, the front of her arms and wrists, and her neckline were all lightly purple.

"Ed are you ok?"

Why did people keep asking her that? "Of course! I think they're kind of cool. They don't hurt, and getting them felt wonderful…"

Havoc's eyes went wide. "Holy shit, you're one of those people."

"Those people?"

"The ones that like pain and danger and, well, Mustang." His attention turned to the only other person in the room. "Riza did you know about this?"

Riza rolled her eyes and sighed from the biggest desk in the room where she'd been sitting with her feet up.

"I've already tried Jean, she's as thick headed as he is."

"Hey!"

"Sorry. Just trying to snap you out of it. Feel free to join us in the real world of actions-have-consequences at any time."

Ed ignored them, she knew what she was doing. Mostly.

Three weeks after that and Mustang had managed to get at least one small hickie on her during every visit. It turned into a game where she'd have to find it and hide it before work the next day or risk getting caught. The weather was warming up as July turned into August which made it less and less believable that she needed to wear a coat indoors.

That was the fun though, hiding in plain sight.

!*

Mustang was running out of ideas. He'd filled half a notebook on his learnings about the mystery woman and he didn't feel any closer to finding out who she was.

He was sitting at his desk, ignoring work and trying to come up with another list of possibilities when Ed threw his door open just to hand him some paperwork from Hawkeye. When had the kid been nominated as pageboy?

"Hey, Ed."

"What?!"

"No reason for the attitude. I have an assignment for you. It's out of town for a few days so you can take a break from those guys telling you what to do."

Ed hesitated.

"Ok. What's the catch?"

"No catch, but I'm probably going to take the opportunity to replace the door with solid steel while you're gone so you can't break it open anymore."

Ed cautiously took the paper from his hand. "When do i have to start?"

"I've got you on a train for this afternoon. It'll take about a week."

Ed stood stone faced while her brain processed this development. "Ok. Where am i going?"

"It's all on the paper. Now, you're dismissed. Go pack and catch the train."

Ed left the room a bit dazed. She hadn't thought about anything but sex for five weeks, now a real assignment? How weird.

Havoc caught her look as she exited, 'What's up chief?"

"I have a real assignment again in Rush Valley, leaving this afternoon. First one since the promised day." A smile spread across her face as she warmed up to the idea. "I can go kick some ass!"

Havoc exchanged a look with Hawkeye and they watched her leave. Had she not even realised the implications of a trip out of town?

!*

Mustang was pacing his bedroom floor. Four nights and no show? Could it be over? She hadn't seemed like she wanted to end it. Could she have been injured? What if she was in the hospital? His heart wouldn't be able to take it. Where the hell was she?

She's out of town.

Mustangs stopped pacing, where had that thought come from? His subconscious? What did that mean? Could it be that deep down he knew who the girl was?

Holy shit. What if he did?

He grabbed his notebook to add "out of town" and sat back in his chair to consider the new information.

He didn't know anyone was out of town. … except.

Well, no. That wasn't right. Ed was out of town for a mission. And that didn't matter. He needed to find the girl.

But as soon as that thought hit him, it stuck and an awful feeling started to grow in the pit of his stomach. He flipped through his pages of notes. No, it wasn't Ed. It couldn't be, Ed was a boy. A short, 18 year old who hadn't hit puberty… with scars on his arm and leg from automail. With long hair… who'd just rented an apartment down the road from his.

Mustang almost threw up. Ed? 18 year old boy Ed was his mystery woman? He'd been having hard violent blind folded sex with his young virgin employee?!

He started hyperventilating. No. No no no. He was wrong. Mystery woman had said she was 22. Ed was 18, though if he'd lied about gender, age was also probably a lie.

No! This wasn't happening, she would show up tonight and Ed wasn't due back for another three days. They weren't the same. Couldn't be the same.

She didn't show up. And the next day at work everyone stayed out of his way. He was very angry. His mind had so many questions. Why the coat in summer Ed? Why the gloves when you're writing? Why the hair down and the bad attitude and the constantly trying to fight me right up until you broke into my house? Aaaarrrhhhh!

He slammed the door to his office and screamed into a couch cushion. That pipsqueak was going to get it.

The sixth night was also a no-show and Mustang's brain had moved on from denial and anger, and was now creeping toward acceptance. Memories were being rewritten. She instead of he, her instead of him. Sister instead of brother… he could call Al. Get the truth from the younger Elric. But did he really want to find out that way? And Al would warn her, tell her to not come back. No, he couldn't have that. He'd have to set his own trap.

And then he was so going to murder her. He was going to…

What? Tie her up? She'd love that.

Dammit!

!*

Four days after Mustang's epiphany and subsequent mental crisis Ed waltzed back into town. She'd managed to get shot during a fight but it was just a graze on her arm and the adrenaline had pushed her through the rest of the encounter successfully. It'd been so much fun! Fun?... Maybe she did have a problem.

Speaking of problems, she'd have to explain her absence in his bedroom. Sick mother? That should work, no time to give warning and she'd just left. But that would have to wait until tomorrow, tonight she wanted a hot bath and to clean some of the dirt from the trip off herself.

Plus she'd have to see if Mustang had moved on while she was away.

The thought sent a ping of pain through her heart but she pushed it to the bottom of her thoughts. She couldn't make a commitment. Not to someone she knew wanted a family one day. Ed shook her head to clear her thoughts, tomorrow was a work day, she could bring in her report and see if he'd lined up another date. Or, if he didn't mention anything, she could see if he brought someone else home at night. Simple solution.

Nothing was mentioned at work all morning and it was weird he didn't respond to any of her quips, especially when he'd been so nice sending her out of town. The only time he paid any attention was when Havoc pointed out the hole in the arm of her coat. Then she received a very intense, very intimidating stare down until she ducked out of sight. What kind of a pissy mood was he in? Not that it really mattered, she could help him relieve some stress tonight.

Just before noon Mustang changed tactics, throwing open his office doors and joining everyone in the main office with a fake smile plastered onto his face. It didn't reach his eyes and the team exchanged some looks.

"Alright everyone! Happy Monday." They sat up straight as he sauntered around the island of desks. "I'm treating everyone to lunch." He handed Riza his pocket watch on the way by and stopped behind Ed's chair. "Hawkeye will take care of everything and i don't want anyone to come back until tomorrow."

The lieutenant caught on immediately and tried to give Ed a warning glance but Mustang interrupted her. "Hawkeye, now."

She jumped up, exchanging a look with Havoc and ushering everyone out of the room amid a flurry of mixed protests and cheers. They both ignored Ed's yelp and no one looked back as the door closed behind them.

!*

Free lunch?! Maybe she'd been wrong about Roy's pissy mood. Ed started to get up from her chair when Mustang's hand landed on her shoulder and pushed her back down into it. She yelped as her butt was slammed back into the seat. What the hell? She squirmed against his hold, until his grip shifted and his fingers wrapped around her neck. She froze. Realisation finally settling in as fear grabbed her gut. Mustang's voice was suddenly in her ear, "Not you, Miss Elric."

This was it, he knew. Ice cold fear slid through her heart. She'd have to leave, he'd send her away. A betrayal. Hers. Never see him again, never feel-

"Breathe Ed."

She hadn't realised she'd stopped and forced her lungs to expand.

A moment later Mustang's hand disappeared, leaving her feeling chilled. "In my office please."

It wasn't really a request, but he was still giving her the chance to run. If she took it she'd never be able to come back, if she faced the consequences there was a slim chance she could stay and she couldn't turn her back on that.

A chance.

!********

Gals, i did not know how to end this, so the next chapter is just going to be a pile of alternate endings.

Got that? a whole damn chapter of alternate endings for this one chapter.