"YUM-YUMS! BIRDY AND STAR ROYALTY MUST MAKE YUM-YUMS!" Declared Bowser as he carried today's chefs into the kitchen. Falco was refusing to leave the library out of protest, so Bowser just brought him and Rosalina to the kitchen himself.
"No way!" answered Falco. "I refuse to do this s###!"
"Oh, goody! We make earth food now!" Said Rosalina as they entered the kitchen.
After Bowser put the two down, they looked around and found that the lumas did a good job cleaning all the sauce off the walls. Oh, and those trouble-makers ate all the cake.
"Shoot!" declared Falco. "Now what am I gonna do while Rosalina does my work?!"
"NOT MY PROBLEM, FEATHER BOY!" Bowser answered as he began to leave.
"Hey! Where you think you're going?!"
"GOT TO KICK TOON LINK'S BUTT AT BOXING RING. BYE, YUMMIEST COOKERS!" With that, the king left the building.
Falco turned to Rosalina and found her staring at a toaster. "What are you up to, Princess?" he asked.
She looked up. "Look! This box-like creation shows me my reflection!"
"..."
"Isn't that amazing?"
"Your... A lot dumber than you look." Falco said as he turned his attention to the fridge. He opened it and looked inside. It was half full, it looked like Master Hand liked shopping at K-Mart. "Yup. No cake." he sighed. "But we got the ingredients to make stuffing!"
"We're gonna make teddy bears?" Rosalina asked, not once taking her eyes off the box-like creation.
"What? No! We're making stuffing, the food."
Falco began naming foods as he threw them on the kitchen counter.
"Bread!"
FLING!
"Eggs!"
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!
"Celery!"
TONK!
"Apples!"
WAM! WAM! WAM!
"We need apples for stuffing?" asked Rosalina.
"Wow. You're learning!" Falco rolled his eyes as he grabbed the last of the ingredients. He picked up the bread from the floor and handed it to her. "Here, reflection lover. Since you like that thing so much, you might as well know how it works." He plugged in the toaster and put two pieces of bread into the slots. He pushed the lever down and the bread went down.
"Hey, they disappeared!" The Princess declared in shock.
"Incredible, right? But wait! It gets better."
POP! Out came the toast! Nice and warm! "Oh, my gosh!" Rosalina cheered.
"Ta-da!" Falco finished his sarcastic demonstration. "Now, just do the same thing with the rest of the bread, okay?"
"Yes! Got it!"
"Yeah, great." Falco rolled his eyes and went over to the kitchen counter. "Now to actually get some work done!"
He picked up an apple and began chopping it... And, there went all the feathers on his left wing. "Shoot. I suck at this."
He decided to move on to something else. He grabbed the celery and put the whole thing in the food processor.
"Hmm... Diced or sliced? I think I'll go with demolished, just to be safe."
He pushed the button with a skull and cross-bones and hoped for the best.
Whirl whirl whirl whirl whirl Ka-BOOOM!
"Dang it!" Falco yelled as he grabbed what was left of the machine and threw it on the floor. Pieces flew everywhere, some of it even got stuck in Rosalina's hair. Not that Falco cared. "Now we don't go anything left to make the stuffing!"
"Yes, we do!"
Falco turned around. There was Rosalina, surrounded by around a hundred pieces of toast!
"Rosalina! When I said to toast the rest of the bread, I meant just the one loaf; not all the bread in the kitchen!" Falco exclaimed, looking up at the stacks of toast that touched the ceiling. "There's now enough toast in here to fill a Panera!"
"Oh." Said the princess. "Well, at least I didn't destroy anything in the process."
Falco had to admit, she did have a point. Falco decided to do what he does best: Complain while trying to fix everything. He started grabbing armfuls of toast and carrying them to the dining room.
A few hours later, grub was on. "COME ON GET IT!" Declared Falco as he rang the supper bell.
"Let'sa go!" "Prepare yourself!" "Try me." "Rah!" "You're too slow!" "BEEEEP!" "Peachy!" "I'm really feeling it!" Smashers exclaimed as they ran into the dining room to attack the food. They all stopped short when they saw what was on the menu.
Toast! Toast EVERYWHERE! -And plenty of toppings. Like cream cheese, jam, butter; you name it.
"Is this a joke?" Asked Meta Knight.
"Nope!" Answered Rosalina. "It's dinner."
"What?!" Declared Larry.
"Yeah," said Falco. "Master Hand forced us to make YUM-YUMS," (He raised his eyebrows at Browser) "and we did. Enjoy."
Everyone looked over at Master Hand, making plans to destroy the glove once and for all.
-Well, everyone but Crazy Hand. He looked over at his friend for a second, then declared "I DON'T CARE WHAT WE'RE EATING! I DON'T HAVE TASTEBUDS! LET ME AT THE FOOOOOOOOD!" as he attacked the toast.
The other smashers took a hint from the glove and began eating as well. They'll make Falco and Rosalina pay for the blandness later.
"YAAHH! I GOT MY YUMMIES!"
Alright, now for a few words from our writer:
First off, I don't see Rosalina as an idiot. In fact, I think she's one of the best princesses Nintendo ever threw at us. I just wanted to take advantage of her being from space. Ya know, kinda like "Thor", but with less violence. I guess.
And second, yes, I know Crazy Hand doesn't have a mouth or eyes, etc. Let me make something clear: Logic is going to fly out the window A LOT during this fan-fic. So fair warning.
Thanks for reading! :)
(Authors note: This chapter was updated in 2022 to remove certain content and fix writing mistakes. You're probably going to see this disclaimer quite a lot. The original story of this chapter was not changed.)